Deleted Scenes
by sweetprincipale
Summary: Deleted Scenes is a collection of events that weren't included in Behind the Scenes. The story continues to show the lives and loves of Buffy and Spike and the Scoobies as they start over, post s.7, completely non canon. Part M rated. Sequel to Behind the Scenes. Please read it first! Note for New Readers: Behind the Scenes is down for revision-fear not, it will be back eventually.
1. Chapter 1

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part I

(Where it goes: _Before _Part I of_ Starting Over_)

_Buffy slowly walked out, following the figure she'd just seen move behind the dumpsters. Wordlessly, she moved between the leering figure in the black leather and the wall. Hands braced instantly on his arms. Hips immediately going to his, his hands on her waist, lower, back up, heads leaning against each other. He put his hands flat on the wall behind her. Loud groans and moans escaped them both as they began colliding, frantic, hard, finally collapsing on the concrete._

* * *

><p>"CUT!"<p>

The blonde pair were giggling too hard to get up. "Again?" The female whined, finally peeking her head over the dumpster.

"Hell." Her partner stood, and pulled his co-star to her feet.

"Can you be more _vigorous_?" A voice suggested from her writer's chair next to the director.

"That's a polite way of saying screw me into the wall." Buffy's double brushed her blonde hair back from her face.

"I can try." Spike's other half opened one arm, and she slid under it, in front of him, back in her place.

"Here, put your arms under mine, then against the wall." She suggested.

"Okay."

"Ready?" A technician asked.

"We're good!" They chorused.

"Marker!... Action!"

Louder groans and more fevered moans. The actress bit her lip, trying to look impassioned and orgasmic. In reality, her co-star was gonna bruise her chest if they kept wanting him to slam into her like that. Moving her head to his ear she moaned loudly, than panted, sneaking in a quick "More hips, less chest."

He nodded, and began moving more up and down, less to and fro. He made an explosive sound of passion and they brushed heads. "Better?" He asked, masking his query in his groan. She gave a loud satisfied moan, and he bit his lip to prevent the smile welling up inside from bursting out.

"CUT!"

"Now what?" He stopped, resting on the wall, the woman leaning against him, panting.

"It's not...fast enough. Or hard enough."

"We're gonna bring this set down!" The young actress protested. "I'm right on the wall, and we're both pushing back on it!"

"You'll be fine, it's concrete reinforced on the bottom." One of the set techs called.

"Okay!" The chiseled blonde rolled his eyes, and they resumed position. This time he put his arms flat against the outside of her shoulders, pinned her upper arms to her sides, allowing her hands traveling up and down and his back.

"Tenth time's the charm." He sighed.

"I hope so." She sighed in return and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Marker! Action!"

* * *

><p>"Cut!" The director sounded tired.<p>

The actors sounded even more so as they clambered back to face their crew.

The pair got back to their feet, and prepared to try it yet again. The male held up a hand. "Can we do this slower?"

"It's not supposed to be a love scene, per se. Oh, which reminds me, no kissing."

"We didn't kiss. Did we?" The blushing blonde tried to remember.

"Uh, a little bit. Not this take, maybe one or two ago."

"I didn't catch it either." He shrugged. "But why- why is he so fast?"

"Yeah! I mean, Spike wants this, and she doesn't, not exactly, so why is he rushing?" She fanned herself.

"They're rough." Their advisor reminded them.

"Yeah, I know that." He knew Spike in and out. He _was_ Spike, the only actor to ever play him, the one who _made _him. Badass. Rough in bed, but passionate. Loving, savoring, heated- he'd be doing this slow, deep, and hard, make her crave him. He wanted Buffy to crave him like he craved her. "He's all about doing it hard, but he's not a rabbit. He'd be..." It would be easier to show this than try and verbally explain it. "Hey, Hon, can I borrow your body for a minute?" He jokingly asked his co-star, once just a casual work colleague, now one of his dearest friends.

"Take me, I'm yours." She threw open her arms comically, and they derailed again, laughing. "Sorry, sorry, I get it. For one thing, she doesn't want anyone to know that she's doing Mr. Pasty at her new _job_. So she'd be all quiet. No porn star gaspy moans."

"I see it, I see it..." The moderating voice intoned, visualizing.

The actor put his arms at her sides, and she instantly put her hands on his biceps, tightly digging into the leather. They moved together slowly, him setting the pace, and her bobbing as if she was feeling more that just a gentle brush up and down. "And why no kissing?" He tossed over his shoulder. "Because he'd kiss her. He wants her to want this, he'd want it to be good."

"She wouldn't want to get all emotional. She's trying to distance herself." Buffy's counterpart knew this with an odd intuitiveness, tossed her head close to his, but kept it out of reach as he moved towards her. "Here, try to, and she'll move."

"He'd go for her neck instead." He let his head drift to her shoulder. "What do you think?"

"Maybe some dark, broody music over it..." The boss was mumbling. "Yeah! Yeah, let's try that. Try to look distant." She cued the actress, "You're right, she's emotionally distant. We were trying to show that with all the violent thrusting, but there's other ways to show it's only physical."

They tried again.

"Cut!"

"Oh, fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" The twenty-something blonde lost it and let out a hiss of expletives, thumping her partner on the shoulder as she collapsed against him again.

"I'm trying, Babe, they won't let me." He teased.

"Too soft that time. More- more- uuumph!" The "voice of God" raised his fist in an upward motion. "But in the hips, of course. Can you try to pull in a little bit of their first time?"

"But another time-" The woman tried to speak for her character, the way she viewed her, anyhow, the way she knew her with a sometimes almost unsettling awareness, but was interrupted.

"Just try it so we can go to lunch!" One of her fellow actresses groaned from off set.

"Okay, okay, geez."

"Sometimes they forget you're the _star_." The vampiric actor whispered in a mock serious voice, eyes twinkling.

"Shut up, or next time you wear your crotch sock- it's comin' off." She teased, pouting.

"At least_ your_ sock covers more."

"Marker!"

"Holy cow, here we go." He gritted his teeth and tried to remember the exact blend of stage directions, perspectives, and emotions. _Don't kiss, try, hard, oomph, slower, not too slow, don't push on the wall, lean on the wall..._

She in turn set her face into a troubled mask._ Eyes open, head away, gasp softly, dig my hands into him, no I mean into _Spike_- breathe, bob, little grimace?_

"Cut! Print!"

"Oh, thank God." The duo breathed and they exchanged a high five.

"You two can go to lunch. Next two, you're on!"

* * *

><p>"I have gotta get out of this!" "Buffy" started tugging her top off even before they made it to the hallway of dressing rooms.<p>

"See you later!" He laughed and ducked into his dressing room, much smaller than hers, and immediately began getting into cooler clothes, draping his trademark costume on the wardrobe rack. He picked up his phone and looked at the time. 1:20. his son would be home, it was three hours later in New York. "Hey, Little Man!"

"DADDY!" The boy sounded thrilled. "You're coming to see me next week, right?"

"You bet I am! We're gonna go see a hockey game, okay?"

"Cool! Oh, guess what my class did..." And he was off.

He listened in a happy cloud as his son rattled on about painting with apples and the class rabbit, and making potato dolls out of real potatoes, carrots and raisins, all typical six year old stuff. As he listened, he noticed the thick white envelope on his vanity table along with the bottles of hair gel, black nail polish, yellow contacts and more. Sitting down, wiping the sweat and make up off, he shook out the next three scripts, and a sealed, smaller envelope. _Season Six arc. Confidential. Breach of Contract/ Copyright Infringement if Presented to Unauthorized Persons. _That was odd. Not to mention a little intense.

The directors around here liked to keep the actors fresh and working to their potential. Plus, getting too many scripts in advance led to confusing what events happened in what order, plus the issue of saying lines from the wrong show at the wrong time. Receiving three scripts wasn't concerning to him. It was the other envelope. Why would he...?

"Okay, Dad?"

"What? Oh, okay, Sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you, too, Dad. Is Liz coming to the game with us?"

"No, we'll have dinner there and sleep there, but the weekend is for just us guys. We have to get through at least three things on the weekend list, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Bye for now."

"Bye, Daddy."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Honey, can I call you back? Okay, you call me then. Are you sure you can't make it home this weekend? No, I don't want you to drive down four hours to stay for three. Love ya. Bye." She hung up on her boyfriend with a confused frown. Rough ideas for each show, in a bulleted outline. The last three episodes left blank. But that didn't matter. With only about six weeks notice, giving them time to memorize and perfect three shows, she felt quite privileged to know what was happening seven- well, really six, cause they were finished this episode today or tomorrow- episodes in advance.<p>

Except that the final episode she was given access to said only " Rape Scene? Shooting?" She looked at the names on the front of the envelope. Hers. And his.

_And only two of us have a copy._

He stared at the paper. _Why do I have a copy? I couldn't- they wouldn't ask me to... They ask you to do plenty of things. You've seen the next few episodes. Hand cuffs coming up, already beaten her up up and down the set, and now this stupid thing today- at least that had gotten toned down. But they wouldn't. Yeah, maybe me, but not _her_. I gotta find her, see if hers has any more info. _He pushed out of his dressing room, still in the tight black jeans and heavy boots, but now in an old Bulls Jersey tank top.

She was coming up the hall as he was heading down. They each had the identical little white envelope. "Hey, can I talk to you?" She said, as he began,

"Hey, did you get one of these envelopes?"

"Holy shit, did you see?" She hissed, eyes wide, and pulling him down the hall, back to her room.

"I know! I can't imagine it means us."

"I can't either. But then...?"

"Then why did we get them?" He finished her frightened thought.

"Yeah." She shook her shoulders out. "I'm not doing it. That. If that's what they're even talking about."

"I'm not doing it, either. I could never-" He looked sick. "Murdering is one thing, vampires gotta eat to live, and even now, he's a good guy. A sinister good guy, but he's not killing anyone but demons." He forced the words past his lips. "Rape is not okay. Vampire or not, soul or not, he had to know that."

"He can't do it, he'd be hurting -" She paused everything clicking more firmly into place, leaving no room to argue. "He can hurt me. I mean, her, Buffy."

"It might be suggested, off screen. Not shown." He nodded. He'd already gotten the implication. "But still..."

"No. You know the team, they like to push the envelope. I wonder where the crazy story lines come from? How do they think of this?"

"What's in their heads?"

"If I knew that, I'd be writing the show!" She laughed.

"There's a question mark. Do you want to go ask someone about it?"

"Let's see if we can drag one of the writers away from wherever they're at."

* * *

><p>Worst fears confirmed, they sat with the lead writer as he patiently explained. They argued, he explained again.<p>

"But Spike loves her!" Spike's mirror image snapped finally. "He wouldn't fucking hurt her, not like that!"

"He's already been so confused by her actions, her constant refusals. Since the beginning, she's denying doing the very act she's engaging in."

"He could tell if I- I mean, if she meant it." Buffy's dimensional twin protested hotly.

"It has to happen this way. I'm not sure how we'll work it. I promise it doesn't violate your contracts, we're going to have the choreographers work very hard with you on this, there will be counselors. I promise, you will receive the respect and support you deserve to do an emotionally draining scene."

"All these scenes keep getting worse!" She looked suddenly haggard. "I mean, thank God it's with him," She took her co-star's hand firmly, "that I'm doing this stuff with. We had fun today, and in the other scenes, we can lean on each other, but this-"

"There has to be something worse than death to reach him. Both of them. Both of them understand death too well, and both of them have come back from the dead, so to speak. It has to be something powerful, a powerful, _powerful _catalyst to move things where they need to be."

"Where are we going?" The male lead asked in a harsh voice.

"I'm not sure." The writer admitted. He and his fellow writers had two visions, visions they couldn't even necessarily explain fully, and he wasn't telling anyone about their final moments of the series until only a few days before they absolutely needed to learn their lines. "But I've told you, he doesn't actually _commit _the crime. It's an attempt."

"Because what? Does he realize what's going on, or does she stop him?"

"I'm not sure." He answered honestly. "At this point."

"I'm not doing it." The petite female slapped the paper down. "Succeed in doing it or not, I don't think- I don't think it's healthy."

"It isn't. Neither of them are 'healthy' by the time this is all said and done."

"Man, I've let you put me in all kinds of weird shit, strange twists, some pretty intimate positions. We love you all, we think you're brilliant, but you've gotta be able to do this another way. I'm with her." He realized that he didn't know when it had happened, but at some point, they'd scooted their chairs closer together, and were now holding hands.

She realized it too. She recognized that gesture, seen it a hundred times. A couple gets bad news, sitting in front of a lawyer, or a priest, or a doctor, they hold hands for mutual strength and support. She squeezed his fingers once with her own.

"I don't know what else to tell you kids." He smiled wanly at his leading lady and her enemy turned love interest.

"Tell us you can change your mind."

"I really can't. It _has_ to happen like this."

"Let's go. Come on." The man rose to his feet and tugged his friend with him, to safety.

"Guys- listen. I'm gonna work with you on the details, but it has to happen. If you don't want to do it, you know the deal."

"We don't play, we don't get paid, I know." The actress snapped as she scooted the chair in.

"Breach of contract. For the entire season. Not the single episode." The executive pleaded with them. "Can't you trust me on this?"

"I'm so pissed off at you." She turned to her friend, away from her "boss".

"Don't talk to me right now, man." The second figure also turned away from the man behind the desk.

* * *

><p>They went to his room first, let him get his phone and a copy of his contract that he kept locked in one of the drawers of the vanity, then to her room. They ended up sitting in opposite ends of the small space, each on cell phones with an agent, a copy of their contract spread out, his on his knee, hers on her dressing table.<p>

They must be asking us the same questions, the haggard looking young man thought, as he heard her replies echoing or preceding the same ones he made.

"No, I don't know about what I'm wearing." She threw up her hands. "They so do not get it." She mouthed to him, who nodded heartily.

"I doubt it counts as a stunt. I'm not leaping through a glass window to get to her- I think. I don't know, it's uncertain, okay? But I do most of my own stunts anyway, so that's not a valid option."

"What about religious beliefs?" She paused, flipping pages. "What do you mean, my religious beliefs aren't in the contract? They're in everything I do, they're my_ beliefs_!"

"Can't I just not do this because I don't want to do this?" He sighed, scraping his hands through his gelled locks, knowing that now he had stiff points. _Mr. Porcupine Head, that's me. _

Another long pause, for both of them. "How much would it be?" She whispered finally, eyes closing resignedly.

"Crunch some numbers here. Say I refuse." He came to the same decision. _I've exhausted other options, let's see what they tell me it costs._

"How much?" She gasped.

Well of course, she made so much more than he did, and he wouldn't have to lose nearly- "WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU MEAN? That's like sending my kid to Harvard from now until he finishes medical school!"

* * *

><p>"We are so screwed." She hung up her phone wearily.<p>

"I can't afford to do this." He realized with a wave of disgust. _I'm a slave to the paycheck. That's what I am, huh? My ex was right. I'm not so much an actor anymore. If the money matters more than the art... But I swore he'd have every opportunity, really good schools, any college he wanted, plus, the alimony and child support. Hell no, I'm not becoming a deadbeat dad over two minutes of what might be an off screen shouting match. _

"Well, don't feel bad, I can't afford to do it either."

"You can't?"

"I could- if I use up my savings and rely totally on my boyfriend. Which, no, I can't. He respects me because I'm an actress, I'm in the biz. If I can't do this- am I an actress? It's not real." She looked across at him. He knew acting. Stage acting, real acting, do it yourself acting. Not the plastic Hollywood kind. The kind where it all has to be you, no big props, no big special effects. She could talk to him about this.

"I guess from the acting perspective, it's a challenge, and yeah, we could both do it. We have the skills. It's just not something I _want_ to do, to be remembered as the villain who raped someone. Villain, hell yeah, bring it on. Former villain who's still got the attitude, and now he's a hero? Even better, more complex, more of a challenge. But Spike's got limits to the bad, you know? Like he'd never have hurt Drusilla when they were together, he liked Joyce, he feels for Dawn, he _loves_ someone."

She looked over at him. They'd been playing out some pretty close contact stuff. It was fun. Maybe a little uncomfortable. Okay, maybe a lot uncomfortable, but it always ended on a good note- up until this point. "We can do it. We have, like, how many weeks to do it?"

"I think eight if we don't lose time." He nodded at her, stiffening his spine. They were overreacting. They'd explained their opinions. The staff would work with them. It probably wouldn't be anything extreme. He hoped.

"The scenes are getting rougher, harder. The dark stuff... it's coming out more, you know?

"Keep your sense of humor." He couldn't fall apart on the possibility. Besides, look at her. She's the "victim" and she's pulling herself together. "You're right. We can do this, Hon." He smiled at her and leaned back. Just like any other scene...

"We can do this." She smiled back. It's not gonna be so bad. Other actors and actresses have done scenes like this."

"True. Do you know any you're close enough to to ask about it?"

"No." Good point.

"Me, either. Guess we'll just have to-do this?"

"Wing it. Boss dude says-hell _everyone_ says- we have awesome chemistry. Fighting, or dialoguing, or the down and dirties. We'll be fine."

"It's just like a- a highly specialized type of scene. But we can do that."

"At least it's you. Not- not some random extra, or not one of the other baddies."

He was taken aback. _Hey, come on now, you'd rather your friend attacks you? _But he didn't say that. "Excuse me?" He said, voice climbing the scale, hard edged.

"No, no they're nice guys, but- I can't do this with them." She explained, scooting her chair closer to him, taking his hand. "I can only do this scene with someone I really trust."

"You've gotta point. Ugh, I get what you mean. I could never ever do a scene like this with any other actress. Not even 'Drusilla', this is too -mentally taxing." Especially because of who his partner was, as a person. She was a good actress. She was strong, but the girl underneath was special. His friend, he had fun with her. Even the more involved scenes usually ended up with laughing. "I can't think about this."

"Don't think about it yet. We have eight more weeks, easy."

"I'm getting freaked out already."

"Don't. We can do this. And it'll be fine. We might even be able to make it all a big joke." Everything else they'd been able to turn into a joke between them. And she'd had plenty of difficult scenes, sexual scenes with others in the past. None of them were as real, as raw, as...special, as the ones she did with him.

"There will never be joking about this." He said gravely.

" No, you're right." She sat back. Two people who had laughed so hard an hour ago, now looking so tense. The poor guy didn't deserve it. This was the closest knit cast she could think of, and he, with his laid back good humor, never losing his temper at anyone but himself, was a big part of that now. "Hey!" She punched his arm suddenly, bringing back the gleam to his eye. "Wanna go get lunch?"

"Hell, yes! I'm starving. Do you want me to go get the rest?"

"No. Let's sneak out, just the two of us." It was going to be so hard not to tell anyone about this for another three weeks, but that had been insisted directors and writers said things were too uncertain yet.

He cocked his scarred brow at her, tipping his head incredulously "Just the two of us, get away from this mob?" This was an incredibly tight crew, all because of the woman in front of him. Once you were in, you were family- if you were staying on that is. "Never gonna happen. Never happened in-ever."

"I think it will be incredibly difficult, but, yes! Let's risk it." She turned mock serious, holding out her hand to pull him from chair, "Are you with me?" Anyone would think she'd just asked him to attempt a jail break or a life threatening covert mission, not leave for lunch.

He looked at her, copying her pseudo gravity. "I'm with you." He clasped her hand firmly, their fingers passing the palm, tightening on each others' wrists. They rose, and stared at each other, unblinking. One of them had to crack. He slowly saluted. "My captain."

She spluttered, laugh bursting messily, "Oh, you!" He laughed with her, letting her lean on him, resting on her, too. " Let's forget about this crap for awhile, okay?"

"Totally with you there. I mean, not like we're even supposed to tell anyone until they write it up. And they need to talk to some of the others."

"At least we're not getting killed off."

"Man, I hate losing someone from the show. Especially someone so awesome and fun. I just love her." He looked almost sick at the thought of losing one of their cast members.

She considered the plight of her fellow actress, destined to be written out, and patted his arm. "I know. We all do."

"Oh hey, I was supposed to get killed off in season two, you remember that. Maybe they'll change their minds."

" No. It was just that you were too perfect."

"Oooh, _perfect_, I could get used to you thinking of me like that."

"I meant _Spike_, not you, doofus." She slapped his arm playfully. "Come on, the coast is clear."

"I'm glad you know the difference between us." The actor remarked in a hushed voice.

" You know me from Buffy, right?" She didn't look at him. _What if he didn't?_ Sometimes, a lot of the time, people didn't seem to be able to divide her into actress and character at all.

" Of course I do. I much prefer working with you." He smiled down at her as they slid into the lobby of the studio, quietly, quickly.

"I much prefer working with _you_. Not so moody." She crinkled her nose up at him as she smiled a pursed-lip grin. She easily slid under his arm, and reached up to holds his hand as it lay low on her shoulder. "Plus, you can walk outside in daylight. Big tip off."

"I _still_ can't go to the beach. Another year of vampire pale. Why can't vampires tan? They could go to a tanning salon or something, then _I _could go to the beach." He groaned. She just laughed.

"I'll go with you a couple days, make sure you wear a big hat and use SPF 3000."

"Ha, ha." He bumped her with his hip as he laughed sarcastically.

She didn't realize until they were out in the parking lot how intimate, how couple-y they looked. With his arm around her, and her holding his hand. But it was the show. She couldn't tell how much "unnecessary" touching went on between that crazy bunch of people. Her boyfriend might not like it too much. He got a little more freaked out when he was on location, and she was at home. _But I don't care, I'm with one of my best friends on earth._

In spite of the dark moments they'd just had, and dark moments to come, the pale man felt his heart lift slightly. Too effing hot, that was for sure, but the sun, and the beautiful girl beside him, made the stress go slightly. He was whistling and walking towards his car, tapping his nails against her hand, and all was calm. For lunch anyway. _Wait- why am I holding her hand?_ He realized he was, her arm was bent up to her shoulder, snagging his hand as it hung against her collarbone. She smiled up at him, and he relaxed further, and smiled back. _Oh, who cares if it looks a little strange? I'm with one of my best friends._

* * *

><p>"<em>They seem closer, don't you think?" Above the sunny skies, two indistinct blurs of gray on gray mist watched the pair as they drove off to lunch.<em>

_ "For all the wrong reasons." The slightly larger blur replied._

_ "Any reason is a good reason at this point." The feminine-voiced shadow disagreed._

_ "You're right, Luv. Took 'em long enough."_

_ "They have a long way to go. If they could just get past- what's coming."_

_ "It's nothing real. Not for them, Pet. Don't fret." The blurs seemed to fuse for a second, and then drifted away, tendrils stretching like taffy. "Though, for them it'll seem so real. They're good at this actin' bit."_

_ "I wish we could tell them to hang in there. That it's worth it." _

_ "If he even feels a grain of friendship in comparison to how much I love you- he'll know it's worth it."_

_ "Will she, though? She's like me. I was so stupid, for so long." The shadows briefly joined again, seeming to comfort one another._

_ "You did get there, Luv. A bit late, perhaps, but as long as you got there..." _

_ "But, Baby- I don't want them to have to wait until the end." The voice, only able to reach one other, was tearful, if patches of mist could be said to have tears._

_ "It's not the end for them, Precious. Not for us, either. Give 'em time." Swirling forms seen dimly, like phantasms walking in heavy fog, managed to clasp what passed for hands in their shadow realm. "This is only the beginning."_


	2. Chapter 2

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel contain fiction about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily set in the Spike and Buffy universe._

_"Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_A mixture of stuff in this chapter- Buffy, Spike, and their "family" begin to settle into their new homes, Giles and Spike bond over a shared event, and Buffy and Spike spend an intimate moment together. There's a musical conversation that occurs in this chapter that is a gift for Hannah the Bloody._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part II

(Where it goes: Into the midst of XVII of _Starting Over_)

_It was sobering. To realize that you literally have nothing, anywhere. That there is no storage unit to clean out, no moving van arriving with your things, no basement or attic full of family furniture you need to collect._

_ "Um. Well, lots to shop for." Dawn stood in the empty three bedroom townhouse in Spruce Court. "Did I do good?" She turned expectantly to the newly married couple, her sister and brother-in-law._

_ "You did wonderful." Buffy hugged her sister to her. _This is not what I wanted for her. I wanted-

_ 'You wanted her alive, an' she is.' Spike heard her thoughts, felt her worry, and responded silently. "This is top notch, Bit. Give us the tour!" The honeymoon couple had just reached the town about an hour ago, timing their arrival to hit shortly between dusk and the closing of the business office. They had spent that hour hugging their friends (or in Spike's case hugging Bit a lot and smiling and nodding at everyone else) and then in the leasing office, signing forms and obtaining keys from Ms. Reynolds, the agent, under the watchful eyes of Giles, Willow, Xander, and Dawn._

_ "Okay!" Dawn sounded excited. "My bed, and dresser and desk and stereo are coming tomorrow- I'm in this room." Dawn led them upstairs and to the bedroom at the end of the hall. "And then this room is the training room." She opened a second door to reveal another bedroom, empty and white, smelling of fresh paint and fresh carpet._

_ "We'll have to block the windows." Xander said, following them on this tour as well as Giles and Willow. "Reinforce. The walls can take a beating, but you don't want to replace the glass every time you get kicked into the wrong spot. You and Mr. Sun..." He gave Spike a comical leer. "On second thought..."_

_ "And this is the master bedroom, it has its own full bath, a bathtub and every thing!" Dawn loudly led the tour on, preventing an argument from beginning. "Um. They need you to verify things at the bank, and then you can shop for your furniture. Oh, I have a flyer from the store where I got my stuff from." Dawn pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her jeans pocket._

_ "We tried to do some preliminary things, but without you here-" Willow twisted her hands nervously._

_ "It's fine! Really." Buffy said, and she meant it. _Look at this place. It's a real house. My best friends live a few "blocks" away, not even, in the same complex._ "I'm happy, guys."_

_ "If the lady is happy, I'm happy." Spike kissed his wife's forehead, and rubbed his hands. "So. To the shops?"_

* * *

><p><em> It was a hectic week, but eventually, the basics for survival were procured and set up. Smaller items and some more furniture was still needed, but everyday "normal life" began. <em>

_ "We have sheets. We have pots, pans, a toaster... silverware! Did we get silverware?" Buffy, Willow and Dawn had taken care of the smaller needs for all their houses, all three girls acting as "housekeepers" for Giles, who spent almost all day at his dining room table, on his cell phone and laptop, conversing and cursing in various languages as he tried to rebuild a destroyed agency._

_ That left Xander and Spike in charge of the big things. Like building bookcases and bedsteads and lifting and carrying. And not killing each other._

_ "Do you _seriously _not know the difference between a washer and a screw? You've been around for a million years, you should know the difference between a washer and a screw!"_

_ "I only know 'screw' as a verb, not a noun." Spike grunted, digging through the new, meagerly stocked toolkit. "An' yeah, I know lots about that- but I wouldn't describe what Buffy and I do as-"_

_ "Dear God! Look, _this _is a washer, _this _a screw." Xander gave up and showed him. "And you better curb your tongue, Bleach, because we have eight more of these damn things to build. Until Giles buys even more."_

_ "Just my luck, I fell in with a literary set." Spike sighed. "Luv? Do we have any blood?"_

_ "I'm heading to the butcher's. If Will could drive me?" Buffy was still learning to drive the brand new (new to them, anyway) black Jeep._

_ "Sure!" Willow agreed cheerfully._

_ "Does one of us have a vacuum cleaner?" Dawn asked after a minute of looking around their assemblage of bags and odds and ends. _

_ "Uh- I didn't buy one." Willow confessed._

_ "Mops? Brooms, buckets, dishpans?" Dawn was scribbling, adding a third page to her steadily growing list of "What Everybody Needs for Their Houses."_

_ "Put on a dust buster and a half inch drive drill." Xander suggested. "We have to start on training rooms soon."_

_ "A half inch what?" Dawn asked, pen freezing._

_ "Half inch drive drill. It's the size of the chuck." Xander explained._

_ "Help?" Dawn held out the pad to him._

_ "It's okay, Dawnie. You don't speak tools, I don't speak magic object and book stuff- much. Tear me off a sheet and I'll make a list for the hardware store. Spike and I'll go get that. And run to the lumber yard. We need stake and crossbow bolt wood. I need knives."_

_ "Need a huge number of weapons. Gimme a sheet, Bit, I'll work on a weapons list."_

_ "Do you two realize that you're actually working together?" Dawn beamed at them and kissed both of them on the forehead._

_ "Purely accidental." Xander groaned._

_ "Put whiskey on the list, as well as blood." Spike groaned, equally aggrieved sounding._

_ "Okay. That's enough on the 'go get it list', more won't fit in the car. We're going to the store. Again." Buffy sighed, shouldering her purse._

_ "What are you packin'?" Spike demanded._

_ "Stakes." Buffy pulled one from her waist band and two from her purse. Behind her, Dawn pulled out a stake from her hip pocket. Willow waved her fingers as if to say she had her weapon of choice in her hands._

_ "I-we'll do this later." Spike abruptly left the bookcase building and moved to his wife. "It's getting darker. I don't want you out alone."_

_ "She won't be alone. I'm going, too." Willow chirped, although not looking supremely confident. _

_ "Don't care." Buffy glared at him, and Willow pouted. "Nothin' against the strongest witch in the world and the greatest Slayer there ever was or will be-" The women's expression softened at once, " but I want us movin' as a group until we know what we're up against in this place."_

_ "I don't like to agree with Spike- but I agree with Spike. We'll convoy." _

_ "I'll check with Giles and see if he wants to go, too." Buffy sighed, giving in._

* * *

><p><em> "Who gets the vacuum?"<em>

_ "We do. We'll share until we can pick up two more." Buffy raised her hand._

_ "Dust buster?"_

_ "That's us, Will. Same goes. We'll share until everyone gets their own."_

_ "Three mops, three buckets, three dustpans, brushes, brooms, sponges. Hot cocoa mix?"_

_ "Me!" Dawn caught the box as Willow threw it to her from her position as chief supply officer. As the redhead called out items, everyone helped to divide them into three piles to take back to their homes._

_ "Scotch?"_

_ "Dear Lord, yes. Thank you."_

_ "You'd better have two bottles in those bags, Red."_

_ "I do, I do..."_

_ "As fascinating as this division of purchases, is, I think we should get to bed. I need all of you over at my place tomorrow. As you know, I head to London soon, and I'm meeting with dozens of our remaining allies. I need a list of books we have, books we need, and books we can possibly get through fairly normal channels." Giles looked around at the occupants of Willow and Xander's bag filled living room expectantly. Willow was nodding her head eagerly, the other four were staring at him._

_ "What?" Buffy finally asked, with slow blink._

_ "You need to come help me make lists and do some research." Giles sighed heavily._

_ "Oh!" Xander nodded. "You should've said so G-Man!"_

_ "I _have _asked you - oh, never mind." Giles sighed. "Be there early, please. Bring laptops, phones, chargers, and all the pens you have. I've gone through four in the last few days."_

_ "Losing them?" Dawn said sympathetically._

_ "No, using them up!" Giles brandished a sheaf of papers and took off his glasses. "Did anyone buy anything to put the Scotch in?"_

_ "We have coffee cups and glasses. Water glasses." Dawn handed him one of the plastic bags full of goods designated for his house._

_ "Those will do nicely." He kissed Dawn's head. "I'm off. Be there early. Say seven?"_

_ "Aye, aye captain." Xander saluted, rising from their new brown couch._

_ "Wouldn't do that. Heightens the pirate affect." Spike teased, but without any actual hostility._

_ "No fighting. Tired." Buffy pouted._

_ "We'll drop you home, Watcher." Spike offered._

_ "It's only a short- well, all right." Giles looked at the pile of shopping bags earmarked for him and agreed. _

_ Once home and the Jeep was unloaded, Dawn sleepily hugged her "siblings" and headed to bed. Soon the soft sounds of thumping bass were heard as Dawn tested out her new stereo._

_ Spike stretched and groaned. "You're tired. Let's get you to bed and to sleep."_

_ "Not to sleep." Buffy whispered significantly, picking up a set of dark blue sateen sheets, extra soft, but practical. "Someday I'll get us silk. I just didn't want to go overboard. I know the bank balance looks big- but we need so much. And it freaks me out to watch it going down so fast. Besides- if something happened-"_

_ "No worries, Luv. We're getting set up nice.." He dug through the bags cluttering the living room and pulled out some light bulbs. "Is there a lamp up there?"_

_ "Yes. But we don't need lights. All I need is you." She curled her fingers through his. _

_ "The bedstead's put together now. Got the box spring put in, the mattress on. All that was missing was the sheets." Last night they had still been in a motel, although almost everything major was in their new home, awaiting assembly. It was the lack of small items that made them wait. They'd both slept in worse, made do with much less. But this was their home. They wanted the first night in it to be special. _

_ Buffy made the bed, Spike put a bulb in the lamp and made the three trips up and down the stairs to fetch things._

_ "Toothbrushes?"_

_ "I'll get it, Luv."... "Here."_

_ "Thanks- oh, the washcloths."_

_ "On it, Pet." ... "There we are." He advanced to her side._

_ "Shoot! Spike, have you seen my cleansing face cream?"_

_ "Bloody hell..." _

_ This time he came up with an armload of bags. "Whatever else you need, if it isn't in the bags, you can wait 'til morning for it." He tossed them down by their bed. "Okay, Luv?"_

_ "Okay." She grinned. Spike turned his back on her, walking to the far wall and stretched on his tiptoes, muscles rippling as he strained, fumbling with a sheet of paper and a piece of tape. _

_ "Spike, what are you-" Buffy came to his side._

_ "Marriage license." He replied with a broad smile. "Now that we're livin' here, officially, no more nights in the local motels, this is gonna be the safest place for it. Gets a place of honor, this it a nice frame tomorrow. Says you're all mine, legally, really, for the world to see."_

_ "I love you. Spike Summers." She rolled the name off her tongue, and flowed into his arms._

_ "_Mrs._ Summers." He savored the new title._

_ "That's right. I'm a married woman." Buffy began rolling off his black tee shirt, covered in bits of particle board and wood shavings, as he began peeling off hers, slightly damp from sweating, running errands all day, moving things from house to house. "And I'm finally with my husband...in our home... with a brand new bed and crispy clean sheets."_

_ "Gotta break it in then, don't we, Luv?" Spike's eyes darkened in lust. He put his arms across her back, pulling her closer, but she squirmed._

_ "I'm all grimy." She protested, kicking her sneakers off._

_ "You aren't." His hands insistently on her waist now, pushing on her jeans._

_ "I am! I'm all sweaty and gross and my hair hates me." She rolled her eyes up to the tangled bun collapsing on her head._

_ "You're beautiful, and I don't care about your hair, woman." He ran his lips hungrily over her neck, loving the faint traces of sweat mixing with all the arousal pheromones that had started pulsing out as soon as they were alone._

_ "But it's our- our first time in our bed. You know, our bed, like _ours,_ yours and mine. We picked it out together, and paid for it with money from our account and we own it. This is -special to me." She had gotten very quiet, voice turning shy even though she knew she had no reason to be, not with Spike._

_ "I know it is. This means a lot to me, too. " He laced his fingers through hers, the enormity of so small and ordinary an event penetrating his thoughts. _She and I- we're gonna make a go of it. For real. It's not gonna end soon, not gonna hinge on one more battle, or one more time when she needs my help. This is a life. Rent. Groceries. Car insurance. School, an' research, an' phone bills... a real life. How'd this ever happen to me? How'd a dead man, a monster, end up with this woman, this lively, beautiful, real girl?_ "We'll go clean up." He said hoarsely._

_ "You don't need to. You look perfect. Vampires don't sweat." She pouted._

_ "You know I do, Luv. Jus' takes more than runnin' about all day. Takes hard-" he jutted his hips to hers,"physical labor of some sort. An' only you can take it out of me."_

_ She moaned softly as he walked her backwards into their bathroom- only for moans of pleasure to turn to moans of exasperation. _

_ "How could we forget to put up the shower curtain?"_

_ "I'll do it, I can do it. I'm not like-'household skill challenged'." Buffy pouted, trailing after Spike. "And- um- body wash, shampoo, conditioner?"_

_ "I hope to God it's in one of these bags, 'cause I think another trip up an' down'd kill me."_

_ "It would not. You're undead. And you're a _machine_." She came up behind him as he knelt, digging through the bags, and lightly bit his shoulder._

_ "Mmm, takes one to know one." He purred, and sped up his search. "Here we go. Got it all in this bag- where's my gel?"_

_ "Still in one of the suitcases. But you don't need it tonight. Or tomorrow. You- you can just look however you want to look. You're at home. We're at home." Her tone had gone from teasing back to soft and serious. "We made it home."_

_ "We sure did, Luv." He got off his haunches, arm full of toiletries, Buffy trailing him with their plastic shower liner, the blue cloth curtain, and the hooks. "We already have hooks. The place had hooks." He pointed out as the walked into the bathroom._

_ "I know, but these match." She beamed. "I thought that navy would be good for our room. But I can get another color. O-or I can put it in the main bathroom. Dawn got-"_

_ "I like the colors. I don't care about the soddin' colors. I just care- that this is ours." Spike shushed her rambling. _

_ "Real." She nodded._

_ Together they worked to put the curtains up, plastic liner on the inside, navy cloth curtain on the outside. They already had washcloths, and Spike retrieved towels from the few in the hallway linen closet . " We just need a shower caddy. Two I guess. Oh, shoot, Spike, I didn't help Dawn put her shower curtain up and-"_

_ "Precious." He stilled her mouth again, using his own this time, kissing her long and softly. "I'll do it in the morning. I'll do anything you need in the morning."_

_ "In the morning." She agreed, kissing him back. _

_ He started the water, and she set the bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel on the ledge of the tub, draping the washcloths over the curtain rod. He turned back to her, face hungry, but not feral hungry, a soft kind of hunger, a longing and realization she had not seen before. "Mmmph!" Their mouths met again, harder this time, hands tugging pants and underwear off, socks and bra tossed into the corner, the puddle of clothes kicked away. _

_ He looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. _Seen this body in shadows in this world, in gray mists of a void, and darkness, and candlelight. Under the gaslight effect, mood lighting, or flickering florescent tubes in hotels. But this is the first time- I just get to see her. My wife. In our house. In our real life.

_ She looked in equal observation at him. Noticing all kinds of new things on a body she thought she knew every inch of. _No, I can really see him now. Not through Slayer eyes, or sex eyes, or even loving eyes or bride eyes. I see him through "wife eyes". More real than ever and just as beautiful.

She has so many little bruises, even after nearly two weeks, even with our combined strength and healing. God, she's a fighter. My fighter...

His shoulder veins stand out white on the muscle. So much muscle, and yet he's so smooth. So smooth, his skin, his veins. White on white...

Her skin pulls back in fine lines where her breasts meet her ribcage, right under the shoulders, under her arms. Too much fightin', did she stretch this over the muscle, and now she's lost a little weight, bein' so stressed this year- until about two weeks ago. Was it only two weeks ago? Or is that how she grew? I dunno, but I'm gonna kiss every single one...

_ She moaned as he ran a soapy cloth over her and then placed soft, suckling kisses around her breasts, up her neck, and across her shoulders, her hands clinging harder and harder into the ridges of muscle on his chest._

Her hands feel different- no one hand. One hand has that thick double band of diamond and wedding ring. She doesn't realize how amazing it feels to feel her touch me with that, that light scrape of stone. 'Cause it means she's mine. All bloody mine for all bloody ever, so say the customs of human and demon. So bloody buggerin' there!

_ His kisses were getting more intense and it made her start concentrating on the lower half of his body. Sparse, coarse dark hair, in a single line down from navel to a perfect wisp over his- _oh God, I love that this is mine_. She caressed his hardness once._

_ "Yours." He laughed softly. "And let me see my treasure, Pet." _

_ "You alread-"_

_ "I don't care. It's more mine than ever tonight. More real than ever tonight." He bent down, kneeling, kissing her slowly until hitting her navel. _She has such fine hairs, not brown like the rest, fine gold, so few, and then these- so soft, downy, fine, honey golden brown.

_ She heard his thoughts- they were hearing everything, or at least perceiving everything they were thinking. Kneading his shoulders, she whispered, "I can change it if there's a way you like it better."_

_ "No!" He kissed her inner thigh. "I mean, for a new look, if you fancy it, go ahead. But I don't give a damn. Not a single speck of a damn, Luv. Bare, natural, however you want it, do you think I'd care?"_

_ "No. I think you'd like it any way, as long as it was me. 'Cause I'm your wife."_

_ "Yes, you bloody well are." He rasped, and pushed her back to the sweating tile, bringing one leg up over his shoulder. "Spread your lips, Beautiful."_

_ "Spike-" Sometimes he still sounded raw to her, despite the millions of much harder, deliberately gritty things they'd said to one another in the past. _

_ "Show me. I want you to show me again. Remember- nothing you an' I do is ever gonna be wrong. Long as we both want it."_

_ Her fingers slid down and parted her pouting outer lips, then her inner, and she gasped as he nuzzled each fold. "More." He licked his lips, and she moaned, pushing her fingers to her opening and spreading that as well. "Now, answer me a question."_

_ " 'Kay." She gasped out. This better not be math, I can barely remember my own name when he kisses me there._

_ "How is it so small? Y'know, after we've been knocking hell out of every flat surface we've come across for a solid week? An' plenty of not flat surfaces as well."_

_ "I don't know. Maybe 'cause you're big? I just feel tight- ohhhh, yes." His fingers replaced hers, and his tongue slid slowly inside her, flicking her edges while his upper lip nudged her sensitive clit._

_ "Think it's 'cause you're magic." He teased, lapping eagerly as her juices started to flow more thickly. _

_ "Then you must be magic, too." She panted. "You- you never seem to be soft. Do you know that? I don't think I've ever seen you anything but hard or at least semi-hard."_

_ "That's 'cause if I've got my clothes off around you, I _would_ be hard or on my way there. Daft bint." He rolled his eyes at her. He found himself blushing as much as he could manage in his vampiric state, and offered, "If you ever want to see- I mean- I'll try to show you, but as soon as I know you're gonna look, up it goes."_

_ "It does go down though, right?" She'd felt him soften after numerous rounds of love making, but he never went- "off". _

_ "Yeah." He blushed again. "Not near as impressive, you realize, but-"_

_ "Shhhh." She shook her head at him. "Are you- you are! You're worried I won't think you're the hottest, sexiest, most edible hunk in the world if I see you like that. Like a couple inches off is gonna matter! God, Spike, honey- even hard, you could fill me up with several inches less. You're perfect. And- huge." She suddenly flushed and then pulled her leg from his shoulder, and they automatically swapped places. "The first time?"_

_ "Mmhmm?" He felt himself get a knot of burning pain at the base of his shaft when he thought about it. He hadn't been expecting it, no, not until that first crashing kiss. Good thing he was always partially stiff when he fought her. Then her hands had done all the work- he'd just held on and felt like heaven landed- with a really heavy knockout punch- in his arms as she yanked their clothes off just enough to do the deed. "What about it?"_

_ "Well- I didn't know what I was getting until I landed on you." They laughed and exchanged a bittersweet smile. _

_ "You did push all the way down in one thrust." He pointed out. _

_ "Let's just say, Sweetie, that I got one hell of a surprise. And I'm still surprised. Really, really turned on and surprised, whenever I realize all of this fits inside me." She slowly licked him all over, nuzzling the underside of his shaft and kissing his soft "stones" underneath._

_ "Oh." He gasped. She didn't always do that. She did it again, more insistently when she sensed he enjoyed it, and he decided he wouldn't mind if she did it more often. "Jus' like that, Pet."_

_ "Right there?"_

_ "Right there an' everywhere."_

_ She smiled and looked up at him, lips wrapping around the tip and sliding slowly down, loving the way his cheeks sucked in right before he let out one of those buttery rich chuckles._

_ "Jesus Christ..." He gasped. _

_ "Don't I get any credit?" She teased. _How does he manage to smile like that, with his tongue tucked up, and his cheeks all hollowed out? There're no more muscles left to smile with!

_ "Got an amazin' mouth, Luv." Then he winked. "Both of us."_

_ They left the more erotic pursuits to return to washing the grime off. "My hair-" she grimaced, "is unbelievable. Look at it!" Weeks of using different hotel shampoos and conditioners had left it dull and brittle- in her opinion. _

_ "You're beautiful, Goldilocks. My girl with the 'shampoo commercial hair'. Used to think that about you. Loved to watch it bounce on your shoulders- told you that once. You threatened me with a spatula."_

_ "Stupid Buffy." She muttered, and handed him the shampoo._

_ "Wasn't right for you then. But I am now."_

_ "No. You were always right for me. But this is better. This is real." She slid against him, hands tangling in hair as they scrubbed at each other. _

_ "So soft. So soft. And I like it all ruffled." Buffy conditioned her husbands hair, and then messed it up, teasing it out from its sleeked back position. "In the morning you're going to look so adorable. _

_ "As opposed to now?" He ribbed, rinsing her hair, smoothing the water-black locks between his fingers._

_ "_More_ adorable. _Different_ adorable." She wrinkled her nose at him with a purse-lipped grin. "I had no idea you were gonna go all insecure on me." _

_ "Would you like me to quote some of the things you said during -"_

_ "NO! No quoting me. But you're not like me. You're all big and swaggery. Is the tiger not in tonight?" She leaned closer to him. _

_ "He's here. He's jus' gettin' used to havin' someone to love who loves him back. Somethin' permanent. Somethin' that he doesn't have to fight to hold on to. I don't have to fight to keep you anymore, do I, Pet?" Spike looked down on her fondly, the sharp lines relaxing as she returned the look with equal affection._

_ "Not at all. Come on. Let's go break that bed in. Oh- but, no actual breaking, I refuse to buy a bed more than... once in awhile." She blushed, recalling their destructive tendencies. "Try to be quiet! Dawn's asleep."_

_ "I'll be quiet as you." He warned._

_ "Oh, we're in trouble then." She giggled._

_ He would have loved to make this last for hours and hours- well, more than just the hours and hours it was going to take to begin with. _Stupid Librarian and the stupid research session at seven in the morning. With newlyweds! Newlyweds spendin' their first night in their first ever home together- with a bed to christen. Stupid Librarian.

_ Buffy wondered if she should try to find some of her honeymoon purchased lingerie- all two pieces of it (there had been a third but it hadn't survived) to heighten the sense of occasion. Then, watching Spike's muscles flex and stretch as he dried himself and slid soundlessly between the sheets, she decided that there was nothing more you could do to make it perfect._

_ She went under him instantly, warm and open, nuzzling to him and whispering. Why had he ever thought she had to talk "dirty" to be enjoying it? Simple words like, "I love you. Take me home?", in that soft, pleading purr were as erotic and welcome as any phrase he could think of. _

_ "Always home. Always home when we're together, Baby."_

_ "I know. But this is our first home. Our first time."_

_ Unneeded breath caught in his throat and he gave in, forgetting his plans to tongue her into a frenzy, then finger her likewise, and_ then _bring them together. At least- not the first round. _

We don't need music. We don't fancy hotels, or mysterious meeting places. Just us._ A single bulb in a table lamp, a marriage license hung where they could see it when they lay back on their pillows. _Him inside me.

_ "I love you, again, for pickin' me." His blue eyes blazed into hers, and he sank into her more fully._

_ "You're welcome, Baby." She kissed him, holding him tight, tears clogging her throat suddenly. She let out a shuddering breath as he raised her hips to his again, and again, slick and soft on navy blue sheets and brand new pillows. "Welcome home, Spike."_

* * *

><p><em> "You got a big ass table for a single dude." Xander appraised Giles' new dining room table, and the eight chairs around it. <em>

_ "Hardly single. I'm in a bleedin' pack." Buffy and Willow shot an amused grin at him. Lack of sleep and too much pressure, combined with letting his facade down with the massive battle having been survived, was bringing out the Ripper side of him. He was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt that was hanging loose and unbuttoned over a white undershirt. "Right. You lot plug in the laptops and phones, I'm gonna be on flippin' calls all flippin' day and then there's the bloody lists!" Giles groaned._

_ "D-did you get any sleep?" Dawn asked, not used to hearing his accent go from mild-mannered to brusque._

_ "A few hours. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being a beast." Giles hugged the youngest member of his "pack" with a heavy sigh. "I'm slightly overwhelmed."_

_ "An' the ponce is back." Spike grinned as Ripper was replaced by Rupert._

_ "You shut your gob!" Giles rounded on him._

_ "An' away he goes. Gotta say, Watcher, I'm impressed."_

_ "Did you eat?" Buffy took her surrogate father's free arm._

_ "I may have. Around two. Had an egg sandwich, I think."_

_ "I'll be back with doughnuts." Xander smiled. "And maybe something manly with bacon or ham in it for you."_

_ "That might help. In the meantime. I'll explain what each of you should do."_

* * *

><p><em> "Giles, I can't read your itsy bitsy handwriting." Xander complained. "Does that say 'Compendium Made Academia' or 'Compendium Mage Arcadia'? Or something else?"<em>

_ "Is this in French? Spike?" Dawn held a piece of paper to the light._

_ "Gimme the Latin." Willow helped Buffy. Spike helped Dawn. Giles shouted something at his laptop and shook his paper in the air. _

_ "Bastards! Outbid on E-Bay by two quid for the 'Complete Works of White Alchemy'. Put it back on the list." He scrolled down and groaned again. "Xander, put the 'Rathbone's Guide to Dimensional Demonology' back on your list as well."_

_ "How do I spell the guy's name?"_

_ "Rathbone. R-a-t-h-b-o-n-e."_

_ "Slow down. R-a- what's next?"_

_ "Bloody hell." Spike wrote the name down on his own list._

_ After lunch- spent sprawled in the living room so as not to get grease stains on any of the all important lists- Giles seemed a bit more relaxed. "At least we have the lists started. It'll be months, years, before we can get all these volumes again, maybe some of them we never will."_

_ "Don't give up, Boss Man. We can do it." Buffy grinned at him._

_ "I'll go to that magic store again, Giles. Now I know what we need."_

_ "And we have the rest of the day to keep trying." Spike said, not sure why he was jumping back into the breach, knowing full well that he didn't much care for technology, even if he knew how to use it. He wanted to go fix up their house, make it more of a home. A place for his girls and him. The place looked like the local Wal-Mart had dumped the housewares section in the middle of the living room floor and walked off._

_ "Well, it would be most appreciated. Feel free to look for items you need as well. Xander, I know you were working on a tool list, Spike and Buffy, if you would help make up a weapons list and training room supply list? Just tell me if you make any headway with the books."_

_ "Let's get back to it then." Willow sounded eager. Xander smiled at her and ruffled her hair. _

_ "There's my witch freak."_

_ "You know you love me for that." She gazed up at her best friend, hands extended._

_ "I know it." He hauled her up and they started back to two of the three laptops at the table. _

_ "I'll start preparing my meeting notes. I won't need a laptop. One of you take it." Giles waved to the three members of the Summers' family._

_ "I'll do it." Spike offered with a sigh when the sisters remained silent. _

_ "I seriously owe you one." Buffy whispered as she stood up next to him._

_ "Oh, Baby. You're gonna owe me at least two." He snarled softly, and she shivered._

_ They worked diligently, taking turns with the laptops and cell phones, calling and placing orders, trying to track down objects. Everything was peaceful- at least as peaceful as it could ever be with the constant teasing, bickering, and constant cries of "What does this say?" and "What language is this in?"._

_ "How'd you get this list? This is my private list!" Giles suddenly yanked a piece of paper away from Spike with injured eyes. "For personal use."_

_ "What are you trying to buy, Giles, mystical naughty pictures?" Xander teased._

_ "Of course not!" Giles huffed._

_ "An' not only isn't it that- it ain't even yours, Rupes." Spike yanked the list back. "This is _my_ soddin' list."_

_ "What do you mean, 'yours'? That's all the music in my collection that I need to replace."_

_ "What?" Spike sounded genuinely shocked and looked at the paper again. "Well, I'll be damned." He and Giles exchanged a look. "Hate to disappoint you, Librarian, but I'm makin' my own list. You said we could work on side projects an' I'm all tapped out in terms of research for the mo'. Haven't had the opportunity to have my music in years. Stupid bitch Harmony destroyed all my albums..."_

_ "Are you saying that's your list?" Giles clarified in disbelief._

_ "I think he's been saying that for the last minute or so." Buffy pointed out ruefully._

_ "Why, that's extraordinary!" Giles actually smiled, for the first time in two days. "Let me..." He looked at the paper. "Oh yes. There are a few things I don't have on here... and my list is three pages."_

_ "I'm jus' gettin' started." Spike said defensively, a faint challenge in his voice._

_ "Just because I'm a Watcher, doesn't mean I don't have hobbies- as everyone fails to recognize. Music is mine."_

_ "Well, it's been mine for_ longer_. I was at the great places of music when you were just a toddler, even before, when you were just a twinkle in someone's eye. Openin' of the Royal Albert- before I was turned, thank you! An' The Rite of Spring- that was considered pretty hot stuff in its day, an' if you saw the birds dancin' in it...An' Woodstock! Live Aid! Done it all."_

_ Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and Xander exchanged glances. "Uh- great?" Buffy offered hesitantly._

_ "Are they having pissing contest over who's the biggest music freak?" Xander whispered to Willow, who just stared._

_ "Live Aid. You never." Giles called him out._

_ "I did!"_

_ "I did, too!" Now his face changed from mocking to amazed._

_ "Which one?"_

_ "What one do you think, you pillock? The one at Wembley!" Giles had lapsed back into Ripper._

_ "Well- imagine that. I was there, too." Spike gave a sinister half-grin._

_ "Your paths crossed all that time ago." Dawn looked awed. "Wow. It's like...fate."_

_ "If it had been fate, I'd 've met your sis, not him. No, this was just a bloody good show." A slow smile spread over Spike's face. "Bohemian Rhapsody was one of the best bits... God, that bloke could play the piano, couldn't he? I mean sure, the singin' was amazin', but most people can do one or the other well, an' he did both"_

_ "I wasn't watching Freddie, I was watching this girl. Just met her, that day, we were next to each other in the center of the field..."_

_ "I was at field level!"_

_ "She was beautiful. Long red hair and freckles. From Edinburgh, I think she said. Her name was Polly- or it may have been Molly, it was so loud." Giles got a wistful grin on his face._

_ "Do you have any idea what they're talking about?" Willow hissed._

_ "Not a clue." Xander shook his head and continued to watch._

_ "Big charity concert. Tons of bands." Dawn whispered, eyes watching the two Brits, as her sister and two friends stared at her. "What? I know stuff."_

_ "I met a girl- right after he finished, I remember. She was screamin' her lungs out, bouncin' backwards- bounced right into me. What a corker." Giles gave him a half- smile, the camaraderie of being young and finding a pretty girl to have fun with, to feel close to for one exciting, memorable day making him feel a momentary kinship with the vampire. "She'd just eaten a Vindaloo. Hell, she was spicy." Spike licked his lips in memory._

_ "Spike!" Buffy and Dawn cried in horrified unison._

_ "Oh, Luv, I'm sorry. You know that was even before you were born- or maybe just a little after..." Spike reached his hands to her, pleading for forgiveness._

_ "Not that! Although, thanks, I think." Buffy bit her lip._

_ "He's making it up anyway, Dear. Queen was on in the afternoon, I remember. That was in broad daylight, Spike." Giles cleared his head with a shake._

_ "I was in the back, which kept me close to the exits, as well. But with the overhang from the bleachers, I had no trouble keepin' out of the light, b'lieve me."_

_ "Uh, I think we're all kinda stuck on the 'you killed someone during a charity event' part. Although why that surprises me, I have no idea." Xander shook his head._

_ "I didn't kill her! I just had a few sips. A good swallow. An' anyway, it was bloody hot, people were passin' out left an' right, medics all over. She probably got treatment before the next number." He looked guiltily at the floor. "I'm sure she was fine. I hope she was fine."_

_ "It's in the past, Baby. It's okay." Buffy comforted, feeling his soul stabbing at him as keenly as if it was stabbing at her. "You can't change what you did- and you know you didn't kill her. Th-that's good." She swallowed her surprise at her understanding. But it was true. You couldn't change the past, and he had at least consciously tried _not_ to kill her. She didn't know why..._

_ Spike explained, hearing her silent confusion. "I couldn't have killed anyone, anyway. Too easy for them to notice that. Or halt the damn thing. I wanted to stay until Paul came on."_

_ "Paul?" Buffy asked._

_ "Paul McCartney!" Giles and Spike cried._

_ "Geez, Buff, everyone knows that." Xander said sarcastically._

_ "Was bloody disappointed. Hoped he'd do something upbeat or a little trippy. And they were all soft an' soppy." Spike shook his head in disappointment at the long ago performance._

_ "You've no soul ,Spike." Giles put his glasses back on. He'd loved that part of the show. Holding Molly's- or was it Polly's?- hand and swaying..._

_ Spike snorted. "Well, yeah, vampire, Watcher. Besides, I've got one now, an' I still don't care for _Let It Be_ as much as say, _Come Together_._

_ "Yes, well, now_ that's_ a bloody good song." Giles conceded enthusiastically._

_ "Uh, guys? Supportive of all the male bonding, and music- yay! But can we get back to the list? I still have ten pages and-" Willow gave up as Spike continued to talk over her, eyes still locked with Giles' both of them grinning, more at ease with one another than she'd ever seen them. Not at ease maybe- more like... friendly? _Whooo. Now that's a sign of an apocalypse. Or maybe that we're finally going to live normally. Normally for us...

_ "Bet you liked Spandau Ballet." Spike mocked Giles, openly playful._

_ Buffy interrupted eagerly "They had ballet?" Ballet was almost as good as ice skating._

_ "It's a band, Buffy. They were _all _bands, Buffy. It was a rock concert for charity. Get with it." Dawn sighed in exasperation. Honestly, her sister should have listened to Spike talk sometimes, not just tried to punch him. Oh, well. Now they'd get the chance. _

_ "They were fine, Spike. Honestly, just because it wasn't completely percussive-"_

_ "Thank bloody God for The Who."_

_ "Who?" Xander, Buffy, and Willow chorused._

_ "It's a band!" Dawn, Spike, and Giles cried in turn._

_ Xander smiled sheepishly. "I knew that, it was just to good to pass up."_

_Spike ignored him, still focused on Giles. _This could be good. Have a mate- or a- something- to talk about music with._ Bit was great, but she liked a lot of the same music he did because of his influence. _With the Librarian, it'd be a shared interest. An' some lively debates, arguments. That was the best part._ "D'you ever think the Yanks got the better deal? I mean the Philadelphia show had The Cars, Black Sabbath, Led Zepplin..."_

_ "No! For God sake, Spike, can you imagine watching Patti LaBelle and the Thompson Twins?" Giles scoffed._

_ "You've got a point." Spike admitted after a moment of intense lip chewing and eye squinting._

_ "Did we- did we just agree on something non life threatening?" Giles gaped._

_ "Yeah. Yeah, we did." The two smiled at each other._

_ Xander leaned over to Buffy and whispered "British people are insane."_

_ "Mildly disturbing anyway." Willow muttered._

_ "Hey, if it's insane and mildly disturbing, but it makes them get along, I'm all for it." Buffy left her friends' sides and went to Spike. He seemed to fully notice that they had an audience for the first time. So did Giles. Both of them coughed in a slightly embarrassed way, and sat back down. _

_ Buffy followed their lead, sitting on Spike's lap. "So- tell me more stuff about this big concert." Everyone stared at her, particularly her husband and her dad stand-in. She looked at both Spike and Giles as they sat in surprised silence. "C'mon. Teach me. I finally have the chance to get to know the little things about the important people in my life..."_

_ "I suppose we do." Giles sat back and relaxed. He looked at the mounds and mounds of paperwork all over the place. And the faces around the table. _They would have died to save this world. To save each other, me. As I would have for them. I didn't break my back and theirs to waste our second chance._ "Laptops off for a bit."_

_ "But the-" Willow pointed helplessly._

_ "Wills. Don't argue with the nice crazy person." Xander gently reached over and shut Willow's machine down. "I didn't know Giles had an identical, irresponsible twin." He teased the Watcher._

_ "We have to put them back on eventually. But I have some time before I go to London. I have plenty of helpers- skilled or unskilled." He pursed his lips to hide his smirk. _

_ "True enough." Spike cuddled his wife to him, breathing her in. Holding her close in front of the people in their lives. Unashamed and together. _

_ "It'd be a shame to go to all the trouble of saving the world and then not spend time with the people in it." Giles sighed. _

_ "True." Buffy snuggled into Spike's cool arms. "So. Who's 'The What'?"_

_ "What?" Giles looked perplexed._

_ "She means 'The Who'." Spike understood her the best, having access to the internal train of thoughts as well as the spoken ones._

_ "What's 'The Who'?" Buffy corrected herself._

_ "Bloody hell." Xander sighed, put his head in his arms, and listened to the surprised laughter bursting around him._


	3. Chapter 3

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part III

(Where it goes: Between Part XVIII and XIX of_ Starting Over_)

"I think I have water in my ear." Jim shook his head stubbornly to the side.

"Well- duh. Head forced under water." Essie took off her jean jacket and hung it up on the wardrobe rack.

"It wasn't actually forced, Baby." He laughed. "But, man, if I were actually Spike- wow. He's one tough beast." He smiled and winked.

"Mmm, but you're _my_ beast." Essie scrubbed a spot of leftover chest makeup off of her fiancé's stomach. " 'Dru' seemed a little 'over eager' to see you again. Do I need to go remind her you're mine?" She teased. She knew Jim and his former on screen lover adored each other- but he adored her the most. Kind of like when she worked with Daniel. And she never would push the jealousy button and neither would he, not after going through so much together, seeing relationships marred by suspicion and imagined emotions.

"What, and have her get all touchy feely next time just to make you crazy?" Jim laughed. "You know I'm yours. She just plays one hell of a seductive villain. But the whole chaining me to a big rock doesn't do it for me, Ess."

"I know. Thank God." They shared a giggle.

"C'mon, everyone's waiting."

"Are we carpooling?"

"No, I thought we'd run out and do some of the last minute Christmas shopping after the party. Before Sul comes in."

"I'm sooo glad Pat's here for Christmas. Although- Max got him Scotch. Ashley got him Scotch. Monica got him a CD, and Ellie got him Scotch. I don't know what anyone else got him but-"

"But he'll never, ever leave the country sober?"

"When's his flight?"

"Tomorrow. I'm more worried about whether or not he can take it on the plane."

"I know. Hence- three bottles- not being allowed to take it on the plane..."

Essie and Jim exchanged a look. "Do you think we can get him to leave it with us?"

_Patrick can hold his liquor- it's just he forgets _how much_ he can hold, _Jim mused_. _"Uh...Maybe?" Jim offered hesitantly.

"Not." Essie shook her head.

"God help us. Never mind what I said about not carpooling. We'll take him shopping with us if we have to."

* * *

><p>"EEEE! I'm going to miss you!"<p>

"-So much-"

"- over for New Year's?"

"When you want to-"

"So much!"

The Holiday party at the Four Seasons was spiraling to a conclusion. Stars who wouldn't see each for two weeks were saying fond farewells.

"Is it something about women?" Max asked, a Santa hat perched rakishly on his head.

"What, mate?" Patrick slurred.

"I think he means that all seven of them are squealing, hugging, and gibbering-"

"But they completely understand each other!" Max gestured to the group of interwoven females co-stars and former co-stars.

"Good thing men don't do that, huh?" Ashley's boyfriend perched on a bar stool, shoving Patrick out of the way as he lulled back against the counter.

"What don't we do?" Daniel eased into a seat, a sandwich in his hand.

"Go crazy, squeal, and hug." Jim pointed his bottle of water at the group of girls.

"Amen. Although, I wouldn't mind being in the middle of that group..." Daniel licked his lips.

"HEY!" Jim and Max simultaneously pushed him.

"God!" Daniel fell off his seat, feet slamming to the floor and laughing. "Can't a guy have one little fantasy?"

"You do realize Monica is in there, right? Jailbait?" Patrick sighed.

"Oh. Uh- no. I just saw all the hugging and thought I could get a Buffy, Willow, Dru sandwich happening."

"Cut 'im off, Jim, he's sloshed." Patrick grinned at Jim.

"I'm not sloshed." Daniel exchanged an amused smile with his fellow actors. "I'm only kidding."

"We know, man." Max ruffled his hair.

"Hey!" Daniel vainly patted it for a second. "Oh, wait. I have two weeks off! Thank God! No 'Angel' hair! Hey, Essie, come and mess me up, no hair gel for two weeks!"

"No dye for two weeks!" Jim hoisted his bottle in a toast.

"We're all going to end up in a dirty film on the net." Patrick moaned, slugging back another shot, watching as Jim and Daniel were swarmed by both the girls and the guys- all messing up the carefully kept "Spike and Angel" hair.

"We are not!" Essie came over and hugged him. "We're happy, that's all. C'mon! Christmas present exchange! Youngest first." And Monica started squealing again.

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know what the hell present to get her. Never was 'allowed' to give you lot gifts." Spike and Buffy pushed their way through the crowded mall. <em>

_ "You already bought her something in New York. During our little get away." Buffy reminded her husband. _

_ "I got her one thing. Don't I gotta do more than that? She's the only sis I've got."_

_ "This is going to be the easiest year ever. Everybody needs stuff. Just basic, average ton-o-stuff stuff." Buffy elbowed her way into a bath and body store. "Kitchen stuff. Blenders. Mixers. Wine glasses. It's a shopping paradise."_

_ Spike didn't share her enthusiasm, muttering under his breath, "Niblet'll stake me if I get her a damn mixer."_

_ "She will not! But you shouldn't get her that." She hastily added._

_ "I hate shoppin'. An' I hate gift wrappin'. An' I know I said it was a good idea to have Willow sleepin' over to avoid her nutjob parents and Xander's alcohol challenged ones, but I hate that she's gonna be sleepin' right next to our room."_

_ "We have another week until they arrive. Then all hell breaks loose. Ooh! Pretty!" Buffy dragged him into the shoe store, ignoring his curses._

* * *

><p><em> "Shit! A menorah, a menorah, a menorah!" Willow tore through the living room, flinging her school bag on the small round table in their dining room. <em>

_ Xander looked up from his push-ups with a grunt. "Isn't it dreidel, dreidel, dreidel? With no bad words?"_

_ "Arggh! A tree! We have a tree!" Willow pointed a freaking out finger at the small, bare pine tree in the corner of the room._

_ "Wills? Did you bang your head?" Xander got to his knees. "You helped me get the tree? Remember? All of us went to pick out the nice trees together, and then we put them all in the truck, all three trees. Just last night." He spoke calmly and soothingly, walking slowly to her._

_ Willow took his hands and shook them nervously in her own, making frantic little hops. "My parents! They're Jewish! I'm Jewish, but you know- anyway! Ah! I need a menorah!" She ranted, and then faced the tree again, and began another rant. "The tree! What do I say about the tree? I had to sneak out every year just to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas, what do I do, what do I do!?"_

_ "Ahhh. So you're not crazy. Well- not concussed." Xander put his arm around her shoulders. "Here's what we do. We get a menorah, and we put it next to the tree, and when they ask, we say the tree is for me, and the menorah is for you."_

_ "But what about all the presents on Christmas morning?" Willow yipped. "With my name on them?"_

_ "Who says we got you presents?" Xander teased, but Willow was too frantic to joke._

_ "I saw them! I saw the bags anyway, marked "Wills" and one marked "Crazy Witch Roomie."_

_ "Willow!" Xander yipped himself. "Those were in my closet!"_

_ "Well, so was I, putting your laundry away." She shook his shoulders. "Can we please focus now? Angry parents arriving in T minus six!"_

_ "You just used a sci-fi term. Oh, God, Wills." Xander hugged her hard. "I'm so proud of you."_

_ "XANDER!"_

_ "Okay, okay, geez. You shouldn't worry. This is an interfaith household. Not to point out the ickiness of our lives- the pre-Hellmouth ickiness, I mean, but our parents suck. For totally different reasons, but they do suck. I mean- if they hadn't run that special on the Sunnydale Sinkhole or crater or gorge, whatever they officially call it, I don't think our parents would even have tried to find us for another year or so." He crossed his arms and sighed. "Just my luck, Aunt May likes natural disasters and her son remembered my email."_

_ "You could have hit delete." Willow snuffled softly, the truth of his words making her heart sting a little bit. "The only reason my mom found me is they mentioned my name in the NYU science department research newsletter. And she gets a copy of all the science department research newsletters..." She kicked a chair leg angrily. "I don't even go to NYU- well, not the big one! I'm a branch campus. An _itsy bitsy_ branch campus!"_

_ "Yeah, it's a real shame you're so _brilliant_ that they mentioned your research on herbal medicine." Xander rubbed her back._

_ "But that's all I am to them! A brain! A brain and some weird witch cult follower."_

_ "Hey. You're not just a brain. You're smart, and funny, and talented, and okay, your knowledge of herbs goes way over the top because of the witch mojo, but you're- you're Willow. You're amazing."_

_ "You are, too." She nodded firmly, calming herself down. "I'm so glad you're here." _

_ "That makes you more glad than my biological family, Will. I'm screw up numero uno to my folks, and they'll never let it go. Oh God. Anya. Oh, God, Wills, they don't know about Anya. They still think I left her and we never- oh damn. Dammit!" _

_ "My turn to be calm?" Willow joked softly, trying to ease the tension that had just exploded on her friend's face._

_ "I'm gonna kill 'em if they say one word- even _one word _about her!" Xander kicked the chair leg that Willow had kicked, and she let him. _

_ "That's it, Xander. You tell the chair who's boss." Willow sighed and patted his back._

* * *

><p><em> "Put that back. Dawn! Dawn, put that back!" Giles chased after his teenaged ward for the evening, pursuing her from the upstairs laundry room down the stairs and to his couch. In her hands she held a beautiful gift bag tied with a pink ribbon.<em>

_ "I'm not going to hurt it, I just want to- hey! This is for Spike, not Buffy!" Dawn's eyes lit up. "You got him a gift?"_

_ "Well..." Giles shifted uncomfortably._

_ "Sex Pistols. Live in New York!" Dawn squealed and hugged him. "I love you so much!"_

_ "You do realize that isn't your gift, correct?" He wheezed as she tightened her grip on his neck._

_ "Uh-huh! But this will be so, so nice for him. To get something from everyone." Dawn put the gift carefully back in the shiny silver bag. "But... what's with the pink girly bow?"_

_ "Brass him off." Giles smiled for a split second, and then scowled, carefully rearranging his "I strongly disapprove" mask onto his face. _

_ But she could see through that. Small though it may be, the little jibes, the little interests... they really were becoming a family, learning to accept and tolerate one another. Dawn squealed and hugged him again._

* * *

><p>"Daddy, why do you have so many bottles of this? How do you <em>say<em> this?" Sul rummaged in the pantry for cookie cutters and sprinkles. "G- Glen- Essie, how do you say this?"

"Those are Uncle Patrick's gifts. He couldn't take them home with him to England, so we persuaded him to leave them here until he come back in two weeks." Jim gave a large, snarky smile to his beloved. For "persuaded" read "accidentally on purpose forgot to take them out of the trunk of the car" when they'd dropped him off at his flat.

"Can you find the cookie cutters? The dough's all rolled out." Essie, beaming in her holiday cheer mode, wiped a floury hand across her cheek.

"You look very domestic." Jim came up behind her, leaving the stack of Christmas cards he was addressing, and snuggled up to her. "Apron. Flour in your hair. Little boy playing with the Scotch from his drinking buddy adopted uncle..."

"Stop!" She hissed as Jim reached up to caress her breast and kiss her while Sul was still digging through things in the bottom shelves of the cupboard.

"But you're my present. I wanna unwrap you, Sar." He purred in her ear.

"Found it!" Sul held up a bag of cookie cutters and turned around triumphantly, just in time to see his "parents" kissing some more. "Oh boy." He rolled his eyes. "Can Max come over and eat cookies when we're done?"

Essie jerked her head back with a blush. "Sure, if he's in town. He's in town, right?"

"Yeah. For today and tomorrow. And then- it's just us Sul. We're gonna drive up the coast and stay with Grandma for a night, and then come home and Essie's mom is coming."

"Oh! I didn't get either grandma a card! I have money, can we go shopping? Can Max come shopping, too?"

Jim and Essie exchanged a glance. "You two bake. I'll call." Jim answered with a grin.

* * *

><p><em>"Since we're all together, we'd like to apologize profusely, and in advance, for our parents." Willow and Xander were sitting in a mass of gift wrap, blue and white Hanukah decorations, red and gold Christmas bulbs, and colored strands of lights. "And- because- we threw the circuit breaker and I can't get up because I can't see where the brand new Frosty the Snowman claymation dvd I just bought is, and I'm not paying another $29.99 to replace it. So. Um. Help?"<em>

_ Buffy, Spike, Giles, and Dawn stared at the tangled figures. "What happened to the tree?" Buffy asked. Spike shook his head and went off to the kitchen, finding the circuit breaker and flooding the house with light again._

_ "I zapped it. I was trying to untangle the lights." Willow muttered miserably, pointing to the smoking tree._

_ "So- you can unleash ancient powers of both good and evil- but not untangle Christmas tree lights?" Willow nodded sheepishly, but Buffy crowed in triumph. "See?See, I told you, those things are made in hell." Buffy crossed her arms and looked at Giles pointedly. _

_ He cleared his throat and asked,"Why didn't you simply use your powers to illuminate the area so Xander could untangle himself and avoid stepping on -whatever it was- and put the breaker back in place?" Giles ignored his slayer's comments._

_ "She's kinda- having a little mojo meltdown." Xander, now able to see, cleared himself a path and stood._

_ "I'm having a panic attack!" Willow corrected. "Whenever I try- I can't control it- smoky tree and I zapped the chocolate Santa cookies into a parallel dimension, I think. Or they melted."_

_ "Let's hope they just melted, Wills, because they were right next to me, and I don't wanna get zapped anywhere." Xander hoisted her to her feet. _

_ "What's wrong?" Dawn embraced her other "big sister" comfortingly. "Why the freaking?"_

_ "Parents. Coming. Panic." Willow whimpered. _

_ "We'll keep them busy. We can- we can take them to the park and see the Memorial Garden, it's so pretty, even in the winter. And we can take them on a tour of the campus. We can- rent them a car and give them a list of sights in the area..." Buffy trailed off, "with bogus directions?"_

_ "That's a ruddy good plan." Spike muttered._

_ "That works great for Wills. My folks just need some six packs and the television. I don't even know why I'm dreading it, all I have to do is put it on ESPN and leave the house."_

_ Willow's fingertips crackled in a spark of magic. "Screw my parents, when are _your _parents ever going to notice you're the best guy in the world? Okay, so you don't throw a football worth a damn and you never went to college-"_

_ "Not helping." Xander muttered._

_ "-But you're a hero! You saved the world, so, so many times. One time even by yourself. From me! And- and I'm a real badass when I wanna be! A-and what about the house stuff? The training rooms are so cool, and you make really good pancakes and - and-" Willow's fingers sparkled in a bright blue flash and Xander howled._

_ "Xander!" There was a collective gasp as the room went dark, and Spike sighed and stalked back into the kitchen again._

_ "Did I hit you? Oh, God..."_

_ "You fried the second set of lights! Screw the lights. No lights shall this tree have." Xander hugged her to him. "Stop spazing. I'm used to my parents being mess ups."_

_ Spike came in and cleared his throat with a his trademark smirk. "I know I've got this pesky little soul now- but I'd be happy to take out Mr. and Mrs. Harris for you. Consider it a Christmas gift, if you'd like."_

_ "Aww. That's so nice. Thanks, Spike." Xander smiled. "Wait- what? No, don't do that!" Spike shrugged and shoved his hands back into his hip pockets._

_ "But it did make me feel better." Willow smiled genuinely at him, and he nodded briefly to her._

_ "Listen, both of you." Giles cleared his throat nervously. "You- you do recall what I said during our trip? About-" he coughed, "children." That though they weren't his, he surely felt a father's love for them._

_ "And what I said about family." Buffy spoke in her "leadership" voice. That they were one, no matter what._

_ "Those biological gits are just that. Biological. Your family's the crazy bitches and bastards who love you." Spike nuzzled Buffy's hair and smiled at Dawn._

_ "Are you saying you love me?" Xander goaded Spike. _

_ "No!" Spike looked ill._

_ "But he knows _we_ do." Buffy left her husband's embrace and took her friends in her arms. "We just have to get through this. It's one week. We survived an apocalypse. Bunches of them, actually. We can do this."_

_ "Go team!" Dawn jumped into the hug. _

_ "It's an American thing, isn't it? The group hugging?" Giles whispered to Spike._

_ "Gotta be. Prefer my hugs one on one. Never did like to share." He grimaced._

_ "Commendable." Giles shook his head with a sigh. "First order of business. Let's get your house to rights. Then- I realize it wasn't my turn to cook, hence all of us showing up here for dinner, but I have delicious roast in the crock pot, and-."_

_ "When did you get a crock pot?" Buffy whirled around on him._

_ "Well- I- "_

_ "DAMMIT! Spike! We have to go back to the store now." She glared at Giles and hissed, "You better be grateful that I saved the receipts..."_

* * *

><p><em> "<em>Are you sure no one else got him one of these?" Essie sat cross legged on their bed, holding up a remote controlled helicopter.

"Nope. Anna and I emailed lists last month. No duplicates. We're clear." Jim stepped into the shower, rinsing off from his nightly workout. "You wanna join me?"

"Not yet. I have some wrapping to finish." Essie glanced around and hurriedly pushed the pile of presents they had for Sul to the floor. She snagged a bow from the bag and peeled off the adhesive backing. Slipping off everything but her silky green undies, she lay back on the bed and put the bow right in the middle of her lithe torso.

"It's gonna seem peaceful. Just a week, with just us and the kiddo." Jim called from the bathroom.

"Yep." She replied.

"This is our first Christmas as a couple. As a family, or family-to-be if you want to split hairs."

"Yep."

"I hope you like it, Honey. I'm so glad -" he exited the room and blinked at the sight on the bed, "that you're sharing it- with -me."

"Don't just stand there, sexy. Come and unwrap your gift." Essie wiggled her toes at him.

"Not much to unwrap." He teased, coming over quickly. He slowly lifted the bow and kissed her. He placed it on top of her head. "You look adorable."

"I don't wanna look adorable. I wanna look desirable." She swatted the bow off and arched her back, thrusting her breasts forward.

"Oh, very, very desirable." He kissed his way to her thighs. "This is the real gift to unwrap, isn't it?" He winked and nuzzled her where she was beginning to soak through the thin fabric.

"You better hurry up and take those off, or I'm putting you on the naughty list."

"Hmmmm. Do I want that or not?" He nipped her lower lip softly, rising up to her face for a minute. "You make every day seem like Christmas, Baby."

"I love you." She smiled into his eyes.

"I love you back."

"And front and sideways." She teased, reminding him of one of his first ever declarations of love. He laughed and ducked his head into her breast.

"My Ess."

"My Jimmy."

* * *

><p><em>"My God." Spike collapsed onto the bed beside his wife. "Please, can I kill Harris Sr.?"<em>

_ "He owes me some shoes." Buffy snuggled under the blanket with a grunt. _

_ "You should have let that bar fly beat him up."_

_ "I couldn't do that! It's Xander's dad. I couldn't just let someone hurt him."_

_ "Dad or no, never, ever kick a drunk in the stomach."_

_ "Is it my fault I never have to fight regular bad stuff? I mean, you kick a vamp in the stomach and they just flash a little fang at you. I liked those boots." She sighed again, looking pouty. "I deal with fangs much better."_

_ "Mmm, does my Pet want a little fang?" Spike licked his lips and leaned over her. _

_ "Yes, please. But I want something much bigger and harder first." She kicked the blanket down. "Happy Christmas Eve, Baby. Well, Christmas Eve Day."_

_ "Shh. Red's next door, resting after her confrontation with her mum."_

_ "I never thought I'd hear you tell me to shush for the sake of Willow getting some rest."_

_ "Your mates 've annoyed me for bloody ever. But then I met their folks... and they're not so bad after all." Spike sighed and let his wife slide down him, licking and nipping down to his hardness. _

_ "You guys are starting to get along. Everyone is." Buffy beamed at him for a second before closing her lips around him as he strained off the bed. "Ah ah." She put a finger to her lips when he moaned loudly. "Don't make too much noise."_

_ "Can't help it." He beamed back to her. "Hot little mouth."_

_ "Mm, hot little something else." She wiggled her rear._

_ "Bring that up to me, Buffy. C'mon, not fair for your mouth to get all the yummy goodies. A man's entitled to his Christmas treats."_

_ Buffy rocked up off of him abruptly, sitting up on her haunches. "Oh shit! I forgot to ask Giles- Spike! Plum pudding! I'm making plum pudding, I don't know if I brought enough plums!" She pushed herself up to her knees and started crawling up him, reaching for the bedside table and the cell phone. "I wonder if it's too early to call him-"_

_ "Yes. It is." Spike grabbed her hips forcefully and flipped her onto her back. "You can worry about his dessert after I get mine." _

_ As he buried his face in between her thighs and began licking with abandon, all thoughts of cooking and holiday preparations fled. In a matter of minutes he felt her shudder and whimper, suppressing her noises as she hit her peak. He smiled and kissed her, repositioned her, sinking into her soft, warm wetness, enjoying the still spasming entrance. She gasped and bucked again. _

_ "Send you right over the edge, Pet. You're already working me, won't take more than a couple..." he grit his teeth, struggling not lose his own control, "strokes."_

_ "This is going to be the best Christmas ever. Ever in my life." She whispered lovingly._

_ "Really, Luv?" He couldn't believe that. Christmas was going to be odd, filled with absences, filled with nothing familiar. New decorations, new house, her cooking..._

_ "HEY!"_

_ "Sorry, sorry, Precious. I meant the stress of cookin', not your cookin' ability." He placated._

_ "I can read you thoughts." She pointed out with a scowl, but it was already vanishing._

_ "It'll be my best ever, Luv. I dunno 'bout the rest of you. I've got everything I ever wanted. But you-"_

_ "I have everything I want." She opened her mind to him. Her choices in those last moments in the crumbling high school shone through to him. Why she had jumped in. He was too important to her. He trumped everything else, and she had been refusing to admit it, always fighting not to believe it- until she saw it all about to be swept away. Desperation, fear, worry- she pushed it all from her mind when she reclaimed his burning hand and shoved herself into the beam with him. Choosing him over everything and anything else._

_ "Buffy." He gasped out. _

_ "See? All I wanted- more than anything, all I wanted- was to have you. To never be separated from you. Even if it meant-" she swallowed, "not being with anyone else. You're my everything, Baby."_

_ "My everything." He whispered in reply, looking down at her impassioned face._

_ "And that's why it's the best Christmas ever. I have everything I ever wanted. I have you. And no one can take it away."_

_ They rocked into a sheet tangling frenzy- a quiet, desperate frenzy, that still made the wall reverberate as the headboard had a golden skinned girl slammed into it in her lover's roaring climax._

_ "Is that what you get for a girl who has everything?" Spike grinned, falling back, rolling to the side._

_ "Uh-huh." She gasped._

* * *

><p>"Do you like your gift? It's pretty hard to shop for a girl who constantly tells me she has everything she wants." Jim fastened the necklace around Essie's neck, and kissed her nape.<p>

"I love it." She fingered the pearl chain lightly. "And I like all the other stuff. The little things." She nudged her odds and ends with one slippered foot, her favorite perfume, her body lotion, some candles, massage oil, some funny tee shirts, handmade crafts from Sul, and a gift certificate to a spa. "Do you like yours?"

"Bears tickets? I could marry you!" He kissed her hard, and then they laughed. "No seriously, I love all my goodies." He was distracted from rhapsodizing over them by frantic airborne cats as they leaped up, over, and down the back of the sofa. "Hey! Hey, kitties-"

"Whatsa matter Mist? What's wrong Stripey?" Essie cooed, bending over the back.

"WATCH OUT!" Sul raced through the house, helicopter buzzing over his head. "I don't know how to make it come down!"

"We said not in the house!" Jim was on his feet in a flash.

"The tree, the tree!" Essie gasped.

"Sorry!"

"I got it, I got it, Sullivan-"Jim lowered the helicopter before it blundered into the tree.

"Sullivan!" Essie tried to look serious, but it was hard. The cats, no longer terrified by the huge buzzing object over their master's head peeped from under the sofa. Sul was still in his pajamas, this time ones that were covered in pictures of the Grinch. And Jim- Jim was towering over Sul, looking- ridiculous. His new watch on with his Dad Rocks shirt on over his ripped up tee and shorts that served as pajamas, and new sunglasses pushed back on his head.

"Sul..." Jim growled, and tried to stay serious. But it was too hard. Essie was standing in front of the tree with her hands raised, like she was going to catch the helicopter, in shorty jammies, a pearl necklace and earrings, and fuzzy slippers, still carrying her homemade "Merry Christmas, Almost Stepmom!" card in her upraised hand.

They lost it. Doubling with laughter, staggering, hugging one another, and then the little boy responsible for the chaos was pulled into the middle. The cats, reassured by the lack of screaming, meandered out and walked around, sniffing at ribbons and batting wrapping paper crumples.

"I won't do that again." Sul offered. His parents only laughed harder.

"Good."

"Better not." His father tried to looked severe, but only laughed again.

"So I'm not in trouble?"

"Nu-uh." Essie gasped, "not-this time."

"Oh. Cool! Merry Christmas!" Sul wrapped his arms around his father's waist.

"Merry Christmas, Little Man." He pulled Essie's mouth to his. "Merry Christmas to you, too, Baby."

* * *

><p><em> "I see we all had the same idea." Willow whispered as she collided with Dawn, who bumped into Buffy, who toppled into Spike. The house was dark, and daylight was just breaking, a dim and frosty morning. Normally, everyone would have been sound asleep, just dragging in from patrol.<em>

_ Today, however, everyone was wide awake, and it wasn't Christmas morning jitters. Christmas Eve patrolling was perfunctory, lasting a short few hours and that was largely just to get everyone out of range of the continual bickering of the Harris family and Rosenberg family. The team went to bed early, by midnight, and now all of them were assembling in the Summers' living room._

_ "Should I call Xander and Giles? Dawn whispered._

_ "Why are you lot whispering? Red's folks and Bricklayer's biological accidents are still kippin' at your place." He addressed Willow. "They'd never come bargin' in before seven in the mornin', and it's barely six. We have time, an hour at least, prolly more. Call the boy and the old man."_

_ "Who're you calling old?" Buffy teased. _

_ "I'll go call them, I left my-" Willow began heading back upstairs, but was stopped by a gentle tapping on the door. Buffy frowned, and then beamed, rushing to open it._

_ "Hi, guys!"_

_ Giles and Xander paused in the act of putting a key in the lock. "We were going to let ourselves in- play Santa." Xander held up a few packages and bags._

_ "Well it seems everyone of importance is here- why don't we do the prezzies under the tree bit now?" Spike grinned._

_ "Spike- did you just dis my parents?"_

_ "Who the bloody hell says 'dis'?"_

_ "Honey, don't." Buffy tugged his arm. "They're the only parents he has."_

_ "Oh, Buff. I wasn't getting mad, I just wanted to make sure before I needlessly thanked the pain in the ass."_

_ "Oh." Buffy bit back a giggle._

_ "Then, yeah. I was 'dissin' 'em." Spike sneered. _

_ "If we could all get out of the hall and in where it's warm?" Giles prompted._

_ "I'll go make cocoa." Dawn kissed both newcomers on the cheeks._

_ "I'll put on Bing Crosby." Buffy moved to the stereo._

_ "Oh, sod." Spike sighed. "Forget the cocoa, Bit, bring me a shot of nog."_

_ "No. You get cocoa and suffer like me." She pouted at him._

_ "How can you not like Bing Crosby? He's- he's like Mr. Christmas!" Buffy protested and put in her new holiday music CD._

_ "Well, prepare to relinquish your title, Mr. Crosby, there's a new sheriff in town." Xander sat his parcels down with a grand sweep of his arms. _

_ "Please, please don't mix metaphors and phraseology. It's far too early." Giles landed on the couch with a thump, and let Willow and Buffy take his bags to put under the tree. _

_ "Should we open?" Willow asked hesitantly._

_ "You wanna wait for your parents?" Spike asked with a smirk. He'd been witness to the "You're buying into Christmas? Ira Rosenberg's only daughter? The shame!" argument between Willow and Mr. Rosenberg._

_ "No, Xander's. My parents are coming for dinner, but they made it very clear they plan to spend the day proofreading each others' articles on spelunking for cardiac health and luminescent moss, possibly going out to lunch if they can find a deli that's open." She picked at a pine needle and stared into space._

_ Spike snarled low in his throat. Both of them, borne by horrible parents. Screw ups or not, your kids are yours, why don't you take some time to be with 'em? Wankers. And the amount of time those two had been injured over the years- some of it partially, (okay, completely) his fault- you'd think they'd cherish every moment. Spike pulled his wife to him and listened with satisfaction to Dawn's heart thumping in the kitchen. He wouldn't be so foolish, if he ever got the chance..._

_ Xander's lips thinned. Okay, he wasn't anything special, but Will was. Her parents were idiots. "We're not waiting. I've got everything I want, all the family I need, right here." He sat down firmly next to Willow and they leaned their shoulders together. _

_ "So- where's my present?" Willow smiled at her best friend. He reached back and began searching for hers, but she stopped him and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him into a hug. "Oh, right. Here it is."_

_ He blinked and hugged her back. "Happy holidays, Wills."_


	4. Chapter 4

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Smut Warning! Mainly Jim and Essie, but plenty of Buffy and Spike._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part IV

(Where it goes: Between Part XXI and XXII of _Starting Over_)

"I love you. Be good for Grandma, and your aunts and uncles. And anyone else you're supposed to be good for." Jim pressed his lips to Sul's forehead once more.

"I will, I promise. Bring me presents?"

"Two at least." Essie promised and bent down to kiss her brand new stepson. "You can call us whenever you want, okay?"

"Uncle Max and Uncle Daniel told me not to call you until Wednesday. They said you'd have to come up for air by then." Sul looked at his father, now in just his white shirt and black dress trousers, his tie and vest slung over his arm, his hair mussed and sweaty from hours of dancing and celebrating. "Are you gonna go scuba diving?"

"Uhhh..." Jim blinked and trailed off. Essie turned to face two of her best friends, Max and Daniel, who stopped smirking in the corner and looked suddenly nervous when they met her gaze.

"Yes. Maybe. Hold on, Honey." Essie passed her bouquet to Sul. She stalked, now in flats, her bridal gown replaced with a simpler white strapless dress, with her hair down, to stand between Max and Daniel.

"You two," she hissed, yanking both of them down by the collars of their dress shirts, "better stop messing with him. You_ both_ are coming over this week, and you _both _are taking him out someplace fun, and you _both_ better keep him from missing us when we're in Florida!" She released them with a fiery glare and a sharp shake.

"Yes, Ma'am." They snapped back with a nod.

"Thank you." She reverted to her sweet self and kissed both of them on the cheek. "Come on, help us get out of here. It must be 1:00."

"It's after." Max yawned and followed her back to her new groom. "Sul, you wanna ride home with me? If that's okay with your grandma?"

"Sure!" Sul said eagerly.

"And I'm gonna ask her when's a good day for us to go someplace fun." Sul's eyes danced. Daniel, mindful of his promise- well his extorted promise, jumped in as well.

"And- how about I bring over my son to play in the pool one afternoon?" Daniel bent and patted the boy on the back. "He's just a little guy, but he's fun to watch."

"Okay!"

Jim turned off his paternal glare and smiled at his two mischievous pals, whispering to Essie. "You're a natural, Ess. A regular little Mama Bear defending the cub."

"Well, if we could just get out of here, I could show you I'm another sort of animal, too." She fluttered her lashes.

"C'mon! Hugs for the bride and groom and we're outta here!" Jim shouted to the few remaining people in the reception hall.

* * *

><p>With one more happily tearful hug and promises to call Sul once they were safely in Key Largo, the bridal couple got in the white limousine and headed off to their honeymoon suite to spend their first night together as husband and wife. "You have everything you need, Baby?"<p>

"Yep. All seven suitcases."

"Seven!?" Jim cried before he saw her start laughing. "Very funny."

"I have a couple bags for the week, and an overnight bag for tonight." She yawned and pushed herself closer to him in the backseat. "Where are we going to spend tonight?"

"You'll see. Not far from here." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"When does the car pick us up in the morning?"

"9:00." He winced. "Sorry, Ess, I thought we'd get to sleep in. I thought the reception would end earlier." It wasn't his fault that their friends didn't know how to let the party end.

"9:00 is so sleeping in for us. When was the last time I didn't have to be on the set by 9:00 or earlier?" She giggled.

"We'll go right to sleep if you need to." He kissed her shining hair, then her shoulder and finally her newly ringed left hand.

"We can sleep on the plane." She whispered, and turned her eyes, smokily smudged with make up from tears and sweat, on full wattage.

"I don't want to be selfish. I'm supposed to take care of you." He reminded her.

" 'Cause you're my girl, and you're super, but you don't have to keep going, act like a you're actually a superhero."

"I love that you know the difference." She beamed and drew his head to hers for a lingering kiss. "But tonight you can _take care of me _in other ways." She let her lips pull into a seductive grin. "I've had plenty of stress lately..."

"Mmm, this is true." He ran one hand along her thigh.

"I've never had a wedding night before." She whispered, a subtle quiver making her spine tingle.

"I've never had one like this." He assured. "When it's with the right girl. Everything's different this time around." He breathed, and took her into his arms with a sudden heave.

* * *

><p>The petting pair wasn't aware that the car had stopped moving until they heard an insistent tapping on the window. "We're here, Sir. All the luggage is outside your door. Would you like me to help you carry it in?"<p>

"No, thank you." Jim called in a strained voice. "Look what you did." He hissed to Essie, gesturing to the obvious rise in his lap.

"I'll get out in front of you, you walk right behind me." She grinned. "_Right_ behind me."

"Naughty." He muttered, almost as much to himself as to her. Shouldn't he be a little less...horny after a year of almost daily, usually multiple times daily lovemaking? Apparently not, and Essie summed it up nicely with a quick reply.

"Not naughty- newlywed." She winked and he beamed.

"Absolutely."

Jim followed her out closely, and tipped the driver handsomely. "You guys will be here in the morning?" He asked, handing the money over.

"Yes, Sir. At the requested time, unless you'd like to change it?"

"Nine is good. Thank you so much." Jim and Essie both shook his hand fervently. Then Essie looked around.

"Where...?"

"Bungalow package. Bed and breakfast rental." Jim took her arm and led her up the walkway to the small house, one of about ten lining the beach. "You can't get room service or anything- well you can, but someone has to come out from the Fairmont up the road- but it's private and no one will bother us." He exchanged a look with his bride.

"All I want is you- and to get my shoes off." She giggled. She hadn't danced so much in years, not even at any of the end of season parties. Jim really had made their wedding perfect, just the right blend of laid back fun and beautiful meaningfulness. And she wanted him to have the perfect wedding night.

"Ah- stay there." Jim put up a warning hand, opened the door and carried their bags in. "Now- one more thing to bring in..." He scooped her up in his arms, kissed her and crossed the threshold with her. "The honeymoon can officially begin." He whispered with a smirk.

"Not until you put me down." She countered with a smirk of her own.

"You go do whatever you need to, Sweetie, I'm gonna make the room perfect for us." Jim let her feet skim the floor and released her reluctantly. She had made the day so perfect for him. It was her day, most brides become hyper focused on the event, on themselves. Not Essie. She never lost sight of the fact that it was a day for them, and that Sul was an important part of "them". He wanted to make tonight flawless for her.

Essie scooped up her smallest suitcase and trotted off with a mischievous smile. "Don't you dare open any of my bags! I have a dozen new outfits in there, just for this week!"

"I won't, I won't." He reassured, rummaging around in his black duffle. Candles, lighter, black silk boxers, red silk boxers, CDs, massage oil... He pulled the black boxers , candles, lighter, and one CD out. "Do you want a massage, Honey?"

"Not tonight. Can I have one later?" She asked through the door. Jim heard the shower click on.

"Every hour on the hour, if you want." He grinned. Not like it was some favor he minded. It wasn't as though he didn't love the feel of her slippery muscles loosening under his loving touch.

"You can come join me if you want- but you have to keep the lights off, and keep certain parts of you out of certain parts of me. I'm taking the whole 'bridal bed' thing seriously."

"I'll be good- until you get in bed." Jim teased. Quickly he turned down the bed, lit the candles, and put on the music he'd chosen, all soft guitar, no vocals. He tapped softly on the door. "May I come in?"

"Let me get the lights. Oh, geez, that's dark- wait, let me move my bag so you don't trip..."

"Ess, why the darkness? I have candles, Babe." _And I've seen you naked in every conceivable position, and there isn't one inch I didn't instantly want to kiss and care for..._

"You're not gonna see me until I'm in my wedding night special." She swallowed a little lump in her throat, not of tears, of silly nervousness. _First time as husband and wife. It has to be perfect, memorable, I have to wear white lace and I... well I'm not "pure" and not "virginal". But he loves me anyway. Neither of us is new at this... but it's all new to us. _She opened the door, and reached her hand out for his, to guide him into the darkened room.

Jim took her hand and did his best to resist the instinctive impulse to try and peer at her through the darkness. She didn't want to be seen without her special bridal nightie, fine with him. He'd bought something special to wear, a major departure for him, but he thought it was a nice gesture. "You okay, Baby?"

"I'm fine, Jimmy." She purred. "Just- I wanted to look special the first time. As husband and wife."

"Husband and wife. God, I love the sound of that!" He hugged her hard, laughing softly into her damp hair.

"C'mere." She pulled him into the shower. "This place is awesome, I've never seen such a big bathroom in such a little house."

"I look forward to actually_ seeing_ it in the morning." He teased.

"Oh, stop. I do this with pure motives." She giggled against him, slipping slightly as she stepped into the slick tub. He caught her under the arm and steadied her. "Still got my back."

"Forever." He whispered, smile evident, even in the dark. She pressed her lips to his softly, and his hands started wandering up her back.

She regretfully broke the kiss. She wanted to get in, scrub off, and get out so they could go "consummate". "What do you want? They have almond vanilla and clove and cinnamon." She held up two bottles of bath gel that had been provided, and opened them up so he could choose the scent he preferred.

"I'm going for the cinnamon." He pulled the bottle from her fingertips. "Is this a 'touch but don't look' deal?"

"Only for as long as it takes me to get all cinnamon-y fresh." She sighed.

"You know it usually works the other way around, right?" He nipped her ear lightly, squeezing some gel into each of their palms.

"I know- oh God- Jimmy! Jim, am I being a bad wife? Am I starting this out wrong? Oh, My God, I totally am! I'm telling my husband that he can't- umpph!"

Jim kissed her until she gasped for air. "The best wife in the universe. Already. Because you're the one for me." He told her firmly. "This is fun, Baby, this is creative." He rubbed his slick hands all over her back, and rear, then lightly down to touch her curls and her slightly swollen lips, already filling out in her arousal. "I'm so lucky to have you, Essie." He meant it. Whatever they did, unexpected or comfortable routine, turning to one another in moments of silliness and seductiveness or deep emotional need- she was always amazing. Always.

She ran her hands gently all over his chest and shoulders. "I'm lucky to have _you_."

They quickly soaped one another, relaxing into their spouse's arms until they were huddled together under the water. "I could go straight to sleep. I'm so exhausted." She muttered into his shoulder.

"Then let's do that, Ess." He tenderly pushed a wet handful of hair back from her forehead. "We have the rest of our lives for making love."

"You're not too tired- I can feel that." She ran one finger over his hard length, making him shudder once.

Well, of course not, and she was slick for him, sopping in a way that had nothing to do with the shower. However, his constant cry had always been "no pressure", and he meant it even more tonight, the night she was really, legally his, bound to him. "No, not too tired, but-"

"No buts." She turned off the water and wrung out her hair. "You go and wait for me, I'll be right out."

"I'll be waiting." He replied.

"Hit the lights on your way out, Jimmy?"

"Got it." He flipped the switch and didn't give into temptation and turn around to see the pretty form he had been holding against him in the dark.

* * *

><p>Essie spent a minute pushing herself into the pretty white nightie, all lace and silk and long smooth lines, just skimming the tops of her thighs. She considered adding the matching white silk thong and decided against it. The less in the way of Jim the better. She briefly contemplated drying her hair and maybe trying to style it, maybe put on some make up. She toweled off her hair and finger combed it, dabbed on just a trace of pale pink lipstick. <em>Jim has seen me crying, covered in fake blood and stage makeup, soaking wet, and dressed up, ready for the Golden Globes. And he loved me in all of it. He's my guy. I'm his girl. <em>I'm his wife.

Jim reclined on the bed, smiling drowsily. _Got her. Gonna get her. My beautiful, sweet Essie. My wife. Oh, God, _my wife_. _That took the sleepiness right out of him, and he half sat up, propping himself up on his elbows.

_He would be sitting like that- rippling. God, he's so gorgeous. Ab-alicious. And now he's mine_. "Time to seal this deal." She flashed her ring at him.

"Already sealed, Baby." He flashed his in return, and then held his hand out to her, palm up. She crossed to him and took his hand, kneeling on the bed as he rose to the same position. "You look so amazing..." He whispered. "You should wear these things more often."

"I thought you liked me in my shorty jammies and ripped up tees." She whispered playfully.

"I do. But this- you're breathtaking, Essie. My breathtaking, beautiful wife."

"You're making me blush." She admired him as well.

"You're supposed to. Blushing bride- I heard that someplace." He stroked one hand down her arm, inhaling her sweet cinnamon scent.

"Now you really are." She swallowed. "I just want it to be perfect, Jim. I never did this 'wife thing' before."

"Well, I'm never doing this 'husband thing'_ again_." He swallowed in time with her short gasps of breath, moving closer into his arms, letting him pull her to his chest. "I'm not nervous about being with you- but I'm scared to death to mess this up a second time. You don't have a mistake on your record, Essie, and I do." _Don't tell her that, you idiot_, his more calculating inner voice chided. It was promptly stamped on by the much louder inner voice of trust. _You can tell her anything_.

"You've never let me down. You're my partner." She smiled up at him, nerves fleeing as suddenly as they'd come. "We can do anything."

"Everyone says we have wicked bad chemistry." He winked at her.

"Plus, I love you."

"I love you." He reminded her. "Just you."

"Just you and me." She let herself fall, and he wrapped himself around her and on top of her with powerful suddenness.

"God, Baby, I've been wanting to do this with you since the day I asked you." Jim breathed huskily in her ear.

"Do what?" She raked her hands down his back, finding his waistband and pushing her thumbs into it, trying to remove it.

"Call you my wife and make love to you while I'm doing it."

"Husband." She replied in an equally husky tone, pulling his head to hers.

"I don't know why the title matters so much- but it does." He panted, instantly breathless from her sweet, clinging kisses, hands pulling her lacy gown up over her hips.

"It's permanent for us. Husband and wife." She arched into him, and he trailed kisses down her soft, sweet body.

"You belong to me. You realize that?" He gasped into her tensed muscles.

"You're mine." Speaking in a moan as he found her most sensitive spots.

"Mine, my Essie, my wife. Wife. Husband and wife, it's just two little everyday words."

She whispered her last coherent thought, "I know what you mean. It's such a simple word. Husband. And wife. But it's like I've been waiting for it forever and I didn't even know it..."

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know what's going on, and I don't want to. I don't want to bother them, and I'm either sleeping here or on Willow and Xander's sofa. And someone's going to have to take patrol." Dawn informed Giles when she showed up at his door for the second time in 24 hours.<em>

_ "What- they're still...?" He polished his glasses furtively. It seemed Dawn had just left, even though he knew realistically that night had passed and she must be returning home from school. The reason for her first arrival had been the blonde couple's apparent obsession with watching their wedding DVD and cuddling (seemingly inappropriate cuddling) on the couch for a full day, and he couldn't believe they'd returned to it again. They were usually both very devoted to Dawn._

_ "They've moved on from nipping at each other and cooing on the couch." She said significantly, and watched Giles' blush. "It's like mating season or something." She sighed. "Do vampire's even do that?"_

_ "No, Dawn. There's no mating season. They can't reproduce." The two exchanged a suddenly sad look. "Although..." he cleared his throat in a more cheerful manner, "I suppose there has never been a pair like Buffy and Spike, so... perhaps that is it. We can hope that's why."_

_ "These past months, since we've been here, they've been really happy together. Like different people. Like the same people I knew before- but finally okay with themselves and one another. I just want to let them be happy."_

_ "That's very understanding, Dawn." Giles praised._

_ "But if it goes on for much longer, I'm turning the fire extinguisher on them." Dawn grimly crossed her arms._

* * *

><p><em> "Should we call Bit?" Spike unwound his legs from under his wife's, and she fell forward onto his chest, now that her support was missing. "Shouldn't she be home by now?" Spike, briefly able to focus his eyes on something other than his wife, took note of the clock on their dresser.<em>

_ "I will. Yeah. I just- need -to breathe." They exchanged a smile. _

_ "Thought we were done with our trip down memory lane. Must've watched the ceremony a hundred times in the yesterday." Spike stretched. But no, they watched it once more- and all the sudden they were upstairs, knocking hell out of the bedroom and considering buying custom made industrial steel springs for their next mattress._

_ "I think I want to relive our honeymoon." She giggled._

_ "We _are_ supposed to get a second week, and all we got was a long weekend." Spike pointed out. "I can make some arrangements, Precious, get us a nice room someplace. Maybe in New York again? We never did get to go to half the places we mentioned ..." His eyes were lit up. He'd love to take this promised second week, maybe right now. The nice thing about having a family, he thought, is that someone's got you covered, and you can actually let yourselves enjoy the world, not just save it all the damn time..._

_ Buffy was tempted, but shook her head."I don't want to go dancing, or sightseeing, or waste an hour or two driving into the city. I just want you. My husband."_

_ "Wife. Mate." His face flickered from human to demon and back and it made her wet. So wet, all over again. But- a tiny, tiny fraction of his brain remembered he wasn't just a husband. He was a brother. He had barely seen Dawn in the last day, and now she was late. The family they had would look after her- but no one looked after his Niblet like he did." But first, gotta call Bit. See if she-"_

_ He stopped talking when his phone rang. The opening lines of "I Want to be Sedated" by the Ramones gurgled out. "Damn Rupert." He pushed Buffy's hand away as she reached for it. "He'll leave a message, Luv."_

_ "It could be important." She protested, snagging the phone anyway. "And why in the world you gave him this song as a ringtone..."_

_ "I _do_ bloody wanna be sedated half the time I talk to him." Spike huffed, taking the phone from her hand. "The other half he bloody sedates me anyway. "Hullo, Rupes."_

_ "It's me." Dawn sighed. "I'm using his house phone, I'm over here. Again." She said pointedly._

_ "What's up, Bit?" Spike's tone immediately lost the annoyed edge._

_ "I'm gonna sleep at Giles' and Xander and Willow are going to patrol. I told them you were having another 'day in'." She managed to suppress a giggle and turned it into a cough._

_ "Right nice of you, Niblet. I owe you one."_

_ "You owe me a bunch, Big Bad Brother." She teased._

_ "Frosty's? Blockbuster? You an' me?"_

_ "Throw in another driving lesson and you're golden."_

_ "You drive a hard bargain." He grinned and agreed. "Fine. Keep the Librarian in line. Tell 'em we'll be back to the regularly scheduled programming soon." He hung up with a sigh. "Got the place to ourselves for a little while longer."_

_ "She doesn't- she didn't tell him why, did she?" Buffy blushed._

_ "Not in so many words."_

_ "Do you think they know?" Buffy looked slightly mortified._

_ "Yes, Pet." He didn't bother to sugar coat it. "Right now, all your friends are thinkin' that you an' I are at it like two wild, lust crazed sex fiends."_

_ "Oh my God." She whimpered._

_ "An' you know what? They don't give a damn. 'Cause they know we love one another so much." Spike looked up at her, her face only a few inches from his as she slumped forward in her semi-prone straddle. "I'm never ashamed to have people know I'm with you like this." He whispered._

_ "I'm never ashamed either." She replied forcefully. "I do kinda flinch when I think they might be getting mental images, though."_

_ "Yeah, don't like that part of it." Spike snarled. "Fortunately, I think _they_ don't care much for it either, an' we all try an' block it out." He rolled abruptly to the side, and she giggled as she spun to the bed. He smiled down at her. Good Lord, she was so adorable._

* * *

><p>Jim pushed two fingers gently inside, his mouth working all over the soft folds outside. <em>She makes the most adorable little noises when I hit the right spots<em>, he smiled to himself.

"Please, Baby please, come back up here." She moaned softly.

"I have to make this good for my bride." He purred, and stroked two fingers into her sensitive upper wall.

"I wanted you so much today." She whimpered as he worked her clit and her secret interior spot at the same time.

"You have me. Now you have me forever." He lapped harder. "Such a yummy wife."

"Jim, if you don't come up here right now..." She threatened, hips arching.

"But you're so close..."

"Oh, ohhh." She squeezed down on him and all the sudden his fingers were no longer soft and probing, they were hard and thrusting.

"My sweet Essie." He breathed, watching her scantily clad body twisting in the glow of candles.

"Jiimmmy." She drew out his name as she shuddered on his fingers.

"There you go." He beamed, withdrawing slowly. He moved uncomfortably to a sitting position. His erection was almost painful at this point, having been teased to life and denied, on and off for about a solid hour, not to mention during the reception. But no, he wouldn't mention that. It wasn't his fault his wife was so effing attractive and attentive, even when they were in public. And it wasn't his fault she got her fingers in the icing and he had to lick them clean. That was a wedding related hazard. Speaking of licking...

"Give me that." Essie also sat, sliding the nightie that was now just a ring of fabric at her waist over her head. Her eyes never left his proudly swelling length.

"Lay back and I-" He never finished. "Ohhh, dammit, Honey..." She took him in one neat pull into her mouth, making him fall back, his head dangling off the foot of the bed.

"Mm, yummy husband." She whispered with a quick breath, before loving him with her mouth some more. He gave a delighted sigh, and she grinned up at him, mouth full.

"You should lay down." He rasped.

She let go of him for a second. "I have to make this good for my groom." She winked, and returned to work.

* * *

><p><em>"You've got this whole husband thing down to a science." Buffy hissed in pleasure when she found herself lovingly pinned under Spike as soon as she returned from the bathroom.<em>

_ "I'm a fast learner."_

_ "You are."_

_ "Not as fast as you." He praised. "You were wife material from the moment I slipped the ring on your finger."_

_ "You were husbandly before." She countered. "You- from the beginning, when we started being together, you would've done this right." _If I'd have just let him...

_ "No, Luv. Too selfish, too hot headed. But I'm glad you think I'm good at it now." He kissed his way down the inside of each arm, across her neck and up to the other._

_ "You're still hot headed." She gasped as the head of his arousal brushed her high on the inner thigh. He chuckled darkly and kept up his languorous kisses._

_ "Well, gimme some time, Luv, haven't even done this for a full year yet."_

_ "Should we do something special for our first anniversary?"_

_ " Absolutely, Luv. But it's gonna be hard to top Valentine's Day." He reminded her, and they both tensed. It wasn't just the gifts- a diamond bracelet for her, a beautiful classic car for him, that was going to be hard to beat. It was the incredibly intimate lovemaking that had occurred, a new type of lovemaking, something they'd only done a few times since._

_ She didn't look guilty, but she flushed in a way that had nothing to do with the body heat generated by the constant erotic activities they'd been sharing."We could do that again." She breathlessly suggested._

_ "We can. And we can practice right now. If you like." His voice lost some of its raspy darkness and became more gentle. "Not pushin' my Luv to do that."_

_ "I liked it." She reminded him._

_ "I know you did. I did, too." He bit down the strange words that had been about to come out, that they shouldn't, that their first time as husband and wife should be more pure and simple. But this was far, far from their first time as a married couple. _Must be all the 'weddin' day revisited' that's goin' on, _he explained to himself._

_ "It's not just that." She whispered up at him, speaking to him as if he'd shared his thought aloud._

_ "No?" He was still getting used to the fact that sexual union was increasing the strength of their bond, that they really couldn't have deep thoughts while making love and keep them hidden. "Was I thinkin' loudly, again?"_

_ "Not exactly- but I was thinking the same way. It all feels new sometimes." She licked her lips. "You said- you _thought_- pure and simple. Does that mean when we make love in a different way, you think I'm not pure?" She knew they did some things - plenty of things- that didn't come under the heading of "traditional" or "vanilla"._

_ "God, no!" He protested harshly. "Never. What do we always say, hm? Anything we do as husband and wife is good and right, as long as it's mutual."_

_ She smiled up at him. "You know what I want you try to do?" _

_ "What's that?" He felt an answering tug of amusement inside and smiled back._

_ "Stop saying 'if it's mutual'. Well, _try_ to stop, I know you, once you learn something it's stuck in your thick skull."_

_ "But-" He couldn't explain. Couldn't ruin the day, their perfect reminiscing day, by flashing back to one horrible night when he'd made a mistake, when they _hadn't _wanted the same things._

_ "Shh. Hush that thought." She forced herself up under him, reaching his lips. His hands released her wrists instantly, almost fearfully. "There's no more question." Her eyes bored into him. "If you want it- then I must want it. Because you always, _only _want the best for me."_

_ "Sometimes I think I'll be wrong." His voice caught and snagged, smile wavered under her touch._

_ "But I _know_ you'll be _right_." _

_ Confidence returned with her words. "You're a smart one, Kitten. In spite of your Valley Girl upbringin'." He dodged her knee with a hoarse laugh. "Of course it'll always be mutual. How could I ever doubt that, 'cause we're just a part of one another now, aren't we?"_

_ "We so are." She reached back with a saucy smile and slid open the bedside table drawer. "Be a part of me some more?" She tossed a small, slippery bottle onto the bed next to their intertwined knees._

_ "Ohhhh God, yes." He closed his eyes and shuddered in anticipation._

* * *

><p>"Oh, God, oh GodohGod, that's the right spot!" Essie screeched her second release and pulled Jim's head to hers more forcefully. <em>Actors definitely do it better, she thought for a split second. Even though it's the real us, we're so intense, used to having to show every thought, every emotion on our faces. He's so beautiful when he's close, that strong jaw and those tight shut eyes... <em>"Come on, Baby." She squeezed her slick walls around him urgently.

"Oh." A short groan was all he could manage.

"We can't seal this deal until you fill me up." She teased in a silky voice. "As husband and wife." She prompted, and he lost it. "Oooh, yes." She breathed out as he burst inside her. "Someone likes his new title."

He gasped out a laugh and stole a kiss from her perspiring face. "You like your new title, too."

"Oh yes. I do. So much." She curled her arms around his neck. "Was I too playful?"

"Were you my Essie?" He countered, glaring at her with one eye, the other shutting in exertion aftermath.

"Yes." She confessed.

"Then you were perfect. You're so right for me. And now you're mine." He tugged her to her side as he fell, spooning her in his arms on rumpled sheets.

"You're mine, too." She murmured languidly, sleepiness suddenly overtaking her. "Love you." She whispered.

"Love you.' He replied. "Get some rest. I set up a wake up call when I made the reservations. You just sleep, take it easy. You had a long day."

"You did, too." She reminded him. "Taking care of me is great, but I'm gonna take care of you, too, you know. We have a deal. Not just married. Best friends. Partners."

"Forever." And he snuggled up beside her and drifted quickly to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Buffy snuggled comfortably under her adoring spouse. "Who has such pretty golden eyes?" She cooed.<em>

_ "You realize you're sweet talkin' a demon, don't you Pet?" Spike laughed, ridged brow making his smile seem more sinister. She saw right through that, thank God._

_ "But he's _my_ demon. He's just you with tiger eyes and tiger fangs." She licked her lips, and then his. "And you know how I like the wildcats."_

_ He let out a deep, chesty snarl, and burrowed into her neck._

_ She tensed, not in fear, in anticipation. And he tortured her, the big jerk. Just licking and teasing and occasionally dragging a fang along slowly. "You better claim me, Spike, or I'm gonna get you first." _

_ "Now, now Kitten, patience." He flicked his tongue along her jugular and smelled a fresh rush of her sweet juice. _

_ "You are in no way able to lecture me on patience." She griped, writhing her neck forward. "You couldn't even wait two extra days to come kill me the first time we met." She reminded him in a needy voice._

_ "All an excuse, Pet. Just so eager to see my little beauty." He teased. "Actually- I _was _quite eager to see you. Wish I'd known why back then..."_

_ "Then I wouldn't have gotten to kick your ass." She prodded his ribs._

_ "And I wouldn't be about to take yours." He hissed and bit. "Mine." He whispered through his swallow._

_ "Yours." She whimpered and struggled to push his head aside, getting at her own, much smaller, finer scar. "Mine." She broke the skin this time, knowing an actual claim restatement and reenactment was more powerful than just a partial one. And for something they were still new at, they both relied on their bond._

_ "Oh, yes, Luv, yours always." _

_ Swirls of their emotions collided, trapping them in a heady, dark whirl of one another. Every feeling and sensation shared. "You ready?" He gasped, reverting to human features, licking the blood off his lips and sucking it off of her pouting mouth._

_ "Slow?"_

_ "It's better that way." He nodded, and pressed slowly down, past where he usually found his pleasurable haven, to someplace tighter and drier. Only now he was slipping in, millimeter by millimeter and it wasn't dry at all._

_ They stopped speaking out loud, it was so much more intense inside their heads, such a perfect understanding. 'I have you, Luv, nice an' easy.'_

_ 'Uh-huh. Shh, don't tell me to relax. I already _am_ relaxed. I'm so relaxed with you, Spike.'_

_ 'Only want you to feel good- oh God, you feel so good to me." His crown eased in and the rest followed, still too slow for him, testing all his muscle control._

_ 'Speed up if you want. You're not hurting me.' Waves of his pleasure muted any mild unease she felt, until there was nothing but the delicious sensation of being filled by him, and his pleasure at being surrounded by her._

_ 'You look so gorgeous under me, Buffy.'_

_ 'So handsome on top of me.' She countered. _

_ 'It's still just makin' love, you know that?'_

_ 'Of course I know that.' She grinned and moaned out loud. "You're with me, and we love each other. Everything is always making love."_

_ "Glad you get that." He pushed forward once, unable to resist it any longer. She moaned in unison with him._

_ "Doesn't mean it can't be hard and fast." _

_ "True." He beamed down at her. "Soon as you want, Luv."_

* * *

><p>"I don't want to get up." Essie groaned and protested at the ringing phone.<p>

"Mph?" Jim blinked. "Oh damn... is it morning?"

"The phone's ringing." Essie explained. Her eyes suddenly widened._ I'm a mom now. A stepmom. It could be about my son. Holy crap, I have one of those!_ She dove for the phone, startling Jim into sitting up. "Hello?"

"This is your wake up call." A tinny electronic voice beeped in her ear. She sighed and dropped the phone down into the cradle. "We have to get up."

"No." Jim caught her wrist and dragged her slowly back beside him. "I don't want to." She laughed at his pout. "Seriously, I could be very happy here... never leaving this room for a week..." He moved his mouth over her engorged nipple, looking up at her with dark blue eyes.

"Kinda ruins the money we already spent on the suite in Key Largo." She moaned, and shifted, letting him pull more into his loving mouth.

"Mm, this is better. No one around... Close to home... I can't go on the beach anyway." He abruptly rolled and brought her to straddle him. "I mean, seriously what are we gonna do for the week, when I have to come home looking like Casper's slightly healthier brother?"

She knew he was only teasing, able to tell by his playful smirk, but she upped the ante. "We're going to find shade. And there's waterfalls and lagoons and little coves..."

"Where it isn't too sunny?" He rejoined. They'd already had this conversation a hundred times while trying to decide where to go on honeymoon.

"Plus, you remember my bridal shower?"

"Vaguely. I remember dropping you off and picking you up. And totally scamming you into getting there." He preened, remembering her complete surprise.

She rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair gently. "Aside from all the donations we requested on our charity registry- I got lots and _lots _of nighties and bikinis. And all of them said 'Do Not Open Until Key Largo'." She pulled Jim into herself with a sudden squirm and they both gasped. "I'd hate not to use all of my presents..."

"I like you best in nothing." He reminded her with a grin, deliberately being difficult.

"I think Ashley heard about your preference, and tipped everyone off about that. All my outfits look as much like 'nothing' as possible." A spasm of anticipation crossed both of their faces and Jim grunted.

"Right. We're getting up." Jim hauled her up in his arms and walked with her to the shower. "This has to be quick, but don't worry- I'll be recharging during the flight."

"Mm, two for one specials coming my way?"

"Sweetie- it's our_ honeymoon_. My sacred husbandly duty is to ravish you. I'm thinking I'll just do my best to make you lose count."

* * *

><p>They scrambled to the waiting sedan just at 9:00, the driver assisting them with luggage, Jim sliding the bungalow key into the locked box by the door, and Essie grabbing their breakfast (lox, cream cheese, and bagels left in the kitchenette, provided as part of the bed and breakfast package) in napkins so they could eat on the way. "I'm sorry it's so rushed." She apologized.<p>

"It's like our lives, Essie. Kinda hectic." They shared a grin. LAX was only twenty minutes away but with traffic- they would be cutting it close to get through security and to their flight on time.

"You know we've never gotten to go away? Just the two of us?"

"We have- haven't we?" Jim blinked. "There were some conventions in-"

"Max and Ashley were with us, plus Patrick and Daniel."

"That was years ago!" Jim cried.

"I know! We totally weren't 'alone'. You and Pat spent all your free time talking music in the bar, and Max wormed his way in eventually, and then Dan, once you two learned to get along."

"Not my fault that the ex pretended to have a thing for him since she thought I had a thing for you." Jim smiled easily. It didn't hurt as much anymore, talking about the past. They'd ended up together, and that was what mattered.

"Point being- the only time we went away together was to fly to see Sul or fly back home from seeing Sul. We've never had a vacation together. Just the two of us." She slid her slender shoulders more securely under his arm. "I'm looking forward to this."

"You're right. Even when we had time off- we never had an out from being responsible parents." They'd had last summer together, plus Christmas break and a long weekend at Easter, yet free time was always filled. Even if they simply spent the time at home, not having to prepare for work, they were constantly aware of something that needed to be done or something they wanted to do to make their time with Sul more special.

"I'm a parent. I'm a stepparent." Essie leaned her head against the seat and beamed.

"You're a parent, Babe. Step can be left off pretty much all the time in this case." He whispered in her ear, trying to ignore the jerking stop and go traffic that was slowly pushing them towards LAX. "Sul loves you a ton. But he doesn't even come close to how much_ I_ love you." He winked at her when she turned her soft, green eyes to his. "And I'm gonna spend all week showing you just how much that is."

"I probably shouldn't be focusing on the kid stuff, this is a honeymoon. Strictly for adults." She murmured.

"I agree with you." Jim murmured back. "Don't _focus_ on him. But again- major turn on that you think about him. Means you love him. Means you love me. Major, major turn on, Lover." He trailed his fingers along her leg.

"I thought you were going to sleep." She giggled.

"On the plane. We're not on the plane yet." He winked.

* * *

><p>"You don't have to carry me across every doorway." Essie protested, holding Jim's hand in her own, each of them using their free hands to drag a luggage cart along the palm lined walkway.<p>

"You're light. I work out. I can handle it." He grinned. "We're all the way on the end- closest to the water."

"Farthest from the lobby." Essie blinked in the bright Florida sun. Their hotel was right on the beach, and they had taken a ground floor suite, one of several lining the front of the resort, all connected to the main building but accessible through private walkways. Secluded, yet connected. She beamed. It was perfect. Her stomach growled. "Okay- also farthest from the restaurant."

"Hungry?"

"I had a very long day yesterday, and not enough snacks. Jim-snacks don't count." She pouted.

"Do you want to venture out of the resort to find something good, or eat something good, but overpriced, here?"

"Overpriced but close to home. Ooh. Room service might be in order."

He quirked one eyebrow and gave one of his trademark smirks, but a much softer version. Jim, not Spike, because he was looking at a giggling, beaming blonde cutie- but it was Essie, not Buffy. "Ready for bed?"

"We just got up." She blushed. Jim slid the magnetic card into the door slot, and pushed the door open.

Jim put her arm around his neck and lifted her up to carry her into their luxurious suite. "Very, very up." He pushed his hardness against the soft curve of her hip. "Room service first- Essie for dessert?"

"Maybe room service has chocolate sauce and whip cream." She purred with a slow, smoldering smile. Jim didn't reply. He tugged the baggage cart in behind them and slammed the door.

* * *

><p><em>Xander and Willow slammed their front door shut. It had been a long, damp patrol, very busy, and they hadn't had much time to talk during it, despite being out for almost four hours. "Well... dinner was interesting."<em>

_ "Interesting?" Xander blinked rapidly. "That's a mild description. It's like those two are under some kind of spell. Some weird "forget everyone is right around the table with you and practically give each other lap dances" spell._

_ "There was no lap dancing." Willow blushed furiously, hanging up her wet windbreaker._

_ "No... but when a girl sits on a guy's lap and squirms like that, Will- trust me. It gives a whole new meaning to the words 'lap dance'." Xander took off his brown jacket, making sure his stakes and crossbow were still safely tucked inside. _

_ "Okay. Really, really icky mental images now." Willow rubbed her forehead furiously as if she could removes the pictures of Buffy provocatively draped across Spike's knees from her mind. "They're very...passionate together. Passionate's good." Willow squeaked defensively._

_ Xander tried to work up a good outrage. Nothing happened. "Damn." He hissed._

_ Willow, now kneeling and tidying up their shoes by the front door, looked up at him. "What is it?"_

_ "I just realized- I'm totally barf-having, but I can't make myself get _mad_ at the guy."_

_ "You're starting to like him?"_

_ "No! Jesus, no." Xander shook his head vehemently. "I just happen to like that he makes Buffy happy, takes good care of her and Dawn, he pulls his weight on everything..." He rolled his single eye up with a groan. "I think I might not hate him anymore."_

_ "This is a huge step." Willow came over and kissed him on the top of his head as he sank onto the couch._

_ "What about you? You still hate him?"_

_ "Nah. He's cool. I kinda have sympathy for him. I know what it's like to go bad as bad can be and be redeemed by love. Best friend love or steamy forbidden love, it's still powerful and I get what it can do to you." They shared a smile._

_ "Oh yeah. That's me. My love can stop Badass Willow. " Xander gave a brief self-congratulatory victory dance- as best he could while still sitting, waving his arms and stomping his feet. _

_ "Yeah, you're all heart." She said it with a laugh but their smile deepened. She left the living room and puttered in the kitchen for a moment. She returned with a can of soda for her and a beer for him. "You want?"_

_ "Not in the mood for a beer. Any more coke?" He sat up for a moment before weariness overcame him._

_ "It's my week, but I didn't get to the store yet. I'll share this with you." Willow sat down beside him and he instantly lifted her bare feet into his lap. _

_ "Since you share, you get a tootsie rub."_

_ "God... I love you so much." Willow moaned as he rubbed her aching, chilled toes._

_ He laughed. "I love you, too, Wills. Now- gimme a sip."_

* * *

><p>"I could get used to this. Lifestyles of the rich and famous." Jim and Essie lay sprawled on the white sands surrounding the cove at the edge of the resort, sipping slowly on a pre-dinner drink.<p>

"Makes a change from running your ass off, snagging granola bars for lunch and wheatgrass juice for breakfast." Jim sighed and ran a tensed hand over his beautiful, bikini-clad wife.

"Burning your scalp, having someone make you wear stupid leather pants, 200 crunches every day, trying to find 10 minutes to call Sul when it's the right time in both time zones..."

"Never, ever enough time to give you as much as you should get." Jim rolled her closer. It was sunset and they were under a thick patch of palm-created shade.

"You give me plenty. Lots and lots of plenty." Essie pressed her legs closed- the exact opposite of what she wanted to do. The thin slip of her swimsuit bottom wasn't doing much to conceal her swollen nether lips. Even though they were alone on this private section of beach, she worried about what she wanted to do, and who might see it. Just from the feel of his skin near hers and she could already feel herself getting wet again, ready to start begging for him to pull her brief covering aside and slip inside her.

"Never enough." He whispered. "We almost always have had some deadline, some timeframe, someone to get up and meet or take care of." He moved from her side to halfway atop her. That new swimsuit Ashley bought her? He owed Ashley favors for the next decade. It was tiny, dark green, and held together with something that looked like spider silk. He liked her in nothing the best, but God- she could dress up the nothing when she wanted to. "Can never give you enough." He ran his mouth slowly up her arm.

"But that's real life. We wanted real life." She languidly scooted her drink to the side and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I know. We also wanted a vacation. A honeymoon." He massaged her lower back as his arms went around her.

"Jim... we can't. It'll be all over the news- there's always some celebrity stalker out there." Essie cast a nervous eyes around, even though she was giggling, and getting hotter, juices that hadn't ever really gone off, going back on full tilt.

"We've shown more on camera..." His Essie-craving was taking over his brain.

"Stop!" She bit her lip and her eyes fluttered closed as his knee parted her legs gently, and a finger stroked her softly through the cloth.

"I will. I'm not really looking to shame our families. People can say whatever they like about _Spike_, but _Jim_ doesn't do indecent exposure."

Essie nuzzled his mouth with hers, and trapped his hand between her thighs. Two fingers circled her nub, gently, so softly._ Look at him- he's so good, trying to make me feel good without getting carried away. I _want _to get carried away. I mean, look at him? Who wouldn't?_ "What if there's no exposure with the indecent?"

"You got an idea?" Jim inquired as her eyes suddenly lit up.

"Lagoon- no one else in it. Jim and Essie time." She jerked her head to the small inlet on the edge of their shady palm grove.

"For real?" His groin gave a sharp twitch. _Yes, for real, idiot._

"We can always go try it out." She licked her lips.

"If we get busted, I'm blaming it on you." He warned, but he was already getting up, wrapping their oversized beach towel around them both, hiding their flushed and disheveled lower halves. As one they bent, and Essie collected their belongings.

"If we get busted, we'll stay in the hotel until we have to leave. That was kind of the plan anyway. You've had two hours of shady, almost dusk, almost sun exposure. That should hold you."

"I feel like a pasty freak. I'm severely glad we're on our honeymoon and privacy is required anyway, so no one points and stares." He grumbled.

"I like you pale. I'm going to like you tan. I'm going to like you in purple polka dots if that's how you end up." Essie grinned at him. Walking hastily, glancing around furtively, they reached the lagoon. "Oh- 'no diving, swim at your own risk'." Essie read the sign as they paused by the black slabs of rock surrounding the water's edge.

Jim lowered a foot in to the water. "Hmm. It's-" he slowly eased in, "not very deep, No current if you're here at the edge- but you get away, where the inlet meets the ocean, there's probably some pull."

"Do you think it's safe?"

"If we stay right here." Jim caressed the sun warmed stones. The slabs of rock made a natural shield from the beach, and the curve of the cove, plus the thicket of palms made the spot invisible from the ocean side and the sky. "Perfect spot, actually."

Essie let him help her into the water. It might not seem deep to Jim, but she was several inches shorter, and the water came to her shoulders, whereas it only came to his upper arms. "How are we going to do this- I'm going to go under if you pull me lower."

"I won't pull you." He smiled. With deft hands he pulled her weightless body up to his, letting her all but float in his arms. He rested her back against one of the smoother spots of rock. "Is that comfy, Babe?'

"Not yet." She leaned down and freed his hardness, tugging his package up to rest over his waistband.

"Two can play at that game." He tugged the crotch of her swimsuit to one side and caressed her slit with his tip. So slippery, even water wouldn't wash it away.

Essie arched when she felt him on her bare skin, and gasped loudly when he slid in with a slick splash and soft grunt. Her nipples, already over stimulated and newly aroused, pulled as tight and high as she'd ever felt them, the lukewarm water making them rise.

"Baby's got goosebumps." Jim whispered. "Honey, are you too cold?" He asked in concern, realizing this part of the water was cooler than the others, hidden in shade as it was. _Good. Glad some tiny little part of your brain is capable of asking rational questions when buried in her..._

"No." She murmured. She looked around. knowing that no one could possibly see their lower halves, she wasn't worried about that, but the top halves of her breasts would be visible. "Lean me back a little, and I'll show you something you'll like."

He complied carefully, not letting her shoulders scrape the stone as she slid down it. They both released a soft moan as the angle impaled her deeper on his thickness and trapped him higher against her soft, velvety upper wall. "God..."

"Holy God..." She whispered. She seized one of his hands and led it to her painfully hard nipple.

"Mmm, such a sweet little treat." He smiled. He rubbed it with the ball of his thumb and she yelped. "Oh, Baby, I'm sorry, Baby..."

"More." She corrected his misconception. He cocked his head and the apologetic look vanished, replaced with a lustful smile. He massaged her stiff peaks again, harder this time, and was rewarded with a gasping squeeze on his cock. "Whoa. Something in there is hooked right to here." She rubbed a hand along from her breast to the top of her pelvis.

He bent his head, and pushed the middle of her back up. All those years of vampire moves are coming in handy now, he chuckled to himself, and latched on to her breast.

I will never, ever hate doing my stretches again, Essie thought in rapture as she let her flexible spine curve to push her teats forward, hair reaching the water as she bent backward.

"You keep clamping on me like that," He muttered hoarsely, still speaking against her chest, "and I'm not responsible for any attention we attract."

"You keep nibbling on me like that, and I'm not responsible either."

"We did promise to take all our falls together." His voice deepened and he plunged in harder, loosing the edge on his self-control. She was still soaked, still slippery. It seemed his "nibbling" was keeping her juices flowing copiously. _Or_- her nails dug softly into his forearms-_ it could be the fact that I keep hitting her sweet spot on every upstroke._

"We also- oh God, oh God, Jim- promised to catch each other." Essie whimpered joyfully.

"Can't we do both?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"Probably." She sat up suddenly, tearing away from him for a moment before settling her hands on his neck. He shifted easily with her, and pushed her back into the rock.

"Your back?" He inquired, pushing himself in closer, head coming roughly into the place where her shoulder met her neck.

"Fine." She gasped.

"Good."

They were lost in each other, moving as one, hard and passionate. Ignoring everything but each other, until Jim looked up. "Beautiful here." He turned, putting his back on the rock so she could see what he had seen. "Look at the sunset, Love."

She did. She took it all in. Deep, dark blue water, gray jets of rock, blood red sun sinking into the darkening sky, first stars starting to peep out. Beautiful. And none of it would have seemed like anything- without him. With an inarticulate cry she grabbed the back of his head and forced it up, harder than she meant to. His eyes were almost black, pupils expanded in the dimness, and yet they saw her more clearly than ever.

_She's like something out of every fantasy ever written. A mermaid, a water goddess- all wet and dripping, naked- well almost, her hair hanging long and tangled, swaying slightly on her shoulders. She's mine. She's really for me._ "Most beautiful thing in the world." He swirled his hand up to the back of her head, forcing her eyes to to his.

"You are." She agreed. Mouth open, but just slightly, nostrils flared, jaw tightened- and a smile just barely discernible under the effort of restraining his pending orgasm. He was like something straight out of their fevered fictional creations. A glowing orange ring was around his ivory body, from being backlit by the sunset. He was stirring the blue water into a frenzy of little waves around their interlocked bodies, waves lapping up his pearl arms as they rippled when they held her tight. He was elemental, fire and water. "You're real?"

"If you are?" He gasped.

"Look like magic." She rasped, and howled once, softly, as she crashed down on him, spasming uncontrollably inside.

"Dream girl." He cried out right after, hips locked up and arched hard into her.

"Love you."

"Love you."

* * *

><p>They stayed in the pool, blinking, spent, trying to clear their lust-filled brains. "What the hell was that at the end?" Essie finally managed, pulling off him with a wince.<p>

"I don't know." He shoved himself back into his shorts. "Were we loud?"

"I don't know." She covered herself back up. "Was I- did I say anything silly?"

"No." He reassured. "I might have."

"You- you called me a dream girl."

"You are my dream girl, but you also-" he ducked his head, "look, this might sound stupid- you looked like something out of a dream."

"So did you! A really, really erotic dream." She confessed.

"You know what's awesome?"

"Hm?"

"We don't need special effects. You looked more magical than anything I've ever seen on a stage or a set." Jim pulled himself to the shore and helped her out.

"So did you! But there was nothing faked."

"Nope." They wrapped, shivering now, in the beach towel and hustled along the lonely stretch of beach, heading towards their room. "Real love looks good on you." He whispered in her ear.

She glowed._ I don't need to be something super special to look like something amazing to him. And he doesn't have to have some supernatural deal to look amazing to me._ "Real love looks good on you, too, Jimmy." She huddled closer to him. "Baby?"

"What, Lover?"

"You make me happy."

It was so simple. And pretty damn profound. "Truly happy. Nothing scripted, nothing acted." He nodded.

"Just like that. You- this is the best time of my life, and it doesn't have anything to do with being on vacation, or having money to live it up, or even knowing that there's a sweet kid waiting at home for us." She looked up at him with a soft half smile. "Being with you, just _being_ with you makes me purely, simply happy."

"I know exactly what you mean, 'cause I get that, too." Jim wrapped her tighter to his chest. "The best part is that it's just beginning. And we have the rest of our lives to feel this way."

She linked her left hand with his as it rested on her hip, while walking in front of him. Their rings clicked softly and they beamed. "Yup. We're just getting started."


	5. Chapter 5

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Dedicated to Spirited Ghost. _

_Mildly smutty- maybe a little darker smut than usual. Also wordy, and mushy. But it _is _a special occasion..._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part V

(Where it goes: Before part XXII of _Starting Over_)

_"Do you realize what happens in two Saturdays from now?" Buffy let out a yelp._

_ "Yes." Dawn rolled her eyes, watching her sister change the calendar page from April to May._

_ "Why didn't you remind me?" Buffy rounded on Dawn, who sat propped on the kitchen counter, soda in one hand, French homework in the other._

_ "I wasn't gonna make a big deal!" Dawn put down the soda with a mildly surprised expression. " I mean- I never got you something for Mother's Day, and I thought we could just maybe take a picnic to the garden, maybe make something Mom loved, and maybe- something Spike's mom loved? If we can make something that old and English-y."_

_ Buffy blinked. "I'm not talking about Mother's Day! And that's a great idea. And of course you don't have to get me something for Mother's Day, I know I'm not your mother and I don't want to be. Maybe if they ever make a Sister's Day... yeah, then I totally want some giftage." Buffy shook her head forcefully, realizing she was way off track. "Dawn, in a couple weeks- it's um- our anniver-" Buffy bit her lip. "You know. One year. Since." She bit her lip again. We're safe here. Not jinxed. Not cursed. Well- not cursed in terms of _that _word anyway._

_ "You can say _anniversary_. It's not some big deal word." Dawn slid to the floor. The double lip chew. Two seconds away from a Buffy-speech. She wished Spike would hurry and get back from training with Xander. He would never go so crazy over a single word._

_ "Yes, it is. It's a _huge_ big deal word! I never made it one full, _happy_ year with a guy before. No world coming down on our heads, no- no me having to kill him. No him having to leave because he can't take me. No being single because of whatever reason. Even if we loved each other."_

_ Dawn heaved a sigh and put her arms around her freaking out, almost in tears sister. "Hey, it's okay, Buffy. It's okay. You're right, it's a big deal word, and you're right, this is a majorly awesome day coming up. I'm sure we can do something special to make it memorable. You're like a slayer legend- the first ever slayer to get married, and to a vampire."_

_ "Champion, _souled _vampire!" Buffy added on heatedly._

_ "Whatever. You and Spike deserve the big happy. We can all go out to dinner. Or I could cook!"_

_ "No! No to you cooking. Yes to us all going out to dinner. Maybe." Buffy twirled her fingers and swallowed. She had learned so, so much about Spike, as a lover, as a friend, as a fighter, in the last year. She'd learned about his mind and heart and soul spending so much time in the void with just him to talk to. She would have a long time, maybe a century, maybe two, to learn more. But there was still so much that she wanted to do for him, to give him, to make him happy._

_ "What's wrong now?" Dawn put her hands on her hips. She wasn't a bad cook, and the insult deserved a little payback, because Buffy wasn't so hot in the kitchen herself. But she saw the twitching fingers and the still teary eyes. _Drama queen. My sister is totally a drama queen.

_ "I'd like to give him one perfect day. When we weren't on our honeymoon- outside of the everyday life. Just a nice, perfect day, but when we weren't running, trapped, or fighting."_

_ "Uh- just gotta tell you something here- a perfect day for Spike _would_ involve a tiny little bit of fighting. A smidgen of fighting." Dawn pointed out, holding her fingers a millimeter apart._

_ "That's true." Buffy gave Dawn a small grin. "So... " She swallowed her pride. She'd let it rule for way too many years already, and Dawn didn't deserve that. Dawnie was her sister, her family. If you had to ask for help, might as well ask her. "You get Spike on a different level." She began. _

_ Dawn didn't let her get far."Yeah, the 'taking him as he is' level. You realize I loved him first, liked him first, actually went out of my way to hang out with him-"_

_ "First, yes, I see the pattern." Buffy's smile widened as she halted her sister's bragging. "What do you think he'd like? Valentine's Day was so awesome for us. We were kind of joking around about it, and saying that it was going to be tough to top. But you know me. Overachieve-y gal."_

_ "You should get over that." Dawn chuckled softly. "Oh, and if you're trying to make it a competition of holiday one-upmanship, don't do things like give him a car to start with."_

_ "He deserved it! Plus, it wasn't really so much, when you consider that I've never, _ever _given him a present besides a couple things this Christmas. It was like a relationship's worth of gift catch up in one package. And it wasn't so much a gift, as a necessity." Buffy tried to justify her extravagance, even though she knew full well that Dawn fully supported any amount of Spike spoilage._

_ "A car might be a _necessity_. A really awesome classic car in mint condition that he loves like a puppy, is a hard to top, overachiever _gift_." Dawn corrected._

_ "Oh! A puppy! I could get him a puppy!" Buffy's eyes brightened at the thought. _Except I would probably accidentally kill a puppy. No, wait, puppies can eat food out of a can, it wouldn't have to survive on my cooking.

_ "A puppy? _Seriously?_That's a Xander or Willow present. Not a Spike present." Dawn crossed her arms. _

_ "I could take him on a vacation?"_

_ "Sunlight. Airplanes. Long drives. School year." Dawn ticked off reasons on one hand. "Plus, we're already going on a business-trip-y vacation to England soon."_

_ "Urgggh. I hate this. He's all- _good_ at this stuff! And perfect at romantic stuff and it's always thoughtful and the sex is amazing and he's- oh." Bad Buffy brain. _Do _not_ go into sexual details with the little sister, even though realistically I know she knows.

_ Dawn shared a faint blush. Did her sister honestly think she didn't know how much they were at it? Totally okay with _that_. A Buffy and Spike on a regular diet of smoochies was soooo much nicer than a celibate Buffy and Spike. Still- mega _eww_ when she thought about it too hard. "He thinks _you're_ prefect, Buffy. He'd love anything you want to do."_

_ Buffy nodded at the truth of that. "Oh, I know that. But I want to do something _he'd_ like to do, get him something _he'd_ want." She sighed and turned back to the kitchen sink, scrubbing vegetables for the night's dinner for six. "I bet Spike has the perfect idea. I bet he isn't over thinking this at all. He had a hundred anniversaries." Buffy pouted into the water._

_ "He never had any." Dawn resumed her French homework. "Don't confuse what he had with skinny, dark, and evil with what he has with you."_

_ "You're right. I know this is different, marriage and claims, he takes it seriously." She squared her shoulders and turned her head to peer at Dawn over her shoulder. "That's why you have to help me make our first anniversary perfect for Spike."_

* * *

><p><em> "You- uh- you got a minute to help me with something?" Spike felt the words dragging from him like teeth being pulled.<em>

_ Willow and Xander halted abruptly at the bottom of Giles' staircase, Xander marching down, Willow walking slowly up to him. Spike and Xander had been using Giles' training room (converted second bedroom), and Willow was returning a book she'd borrowed. Giles was nowhere to be found, probably out at the magic shop or the post office. _

_ "Help you?" Willow asked tentatively._

_ "You didn't hit me too hard. I don't have brain damage. I really did hear that? Fangy is asking little ol' us for some help?" Xander was less gracious._

_ "Oh, sod it." Spike shrugged past them both and headed to the door. "Same time tomorrow."_

_ "Spike, wait!" Willow grabbed his elbow. _

_ "Seriously, dude, I was just being myself. Sworn sarcasm guy. I don't actually... hate you. At this moment."_

_ Spike closed his eyes briefly. "Yeah, I know. I wouldn't ask normally."_

_ "You should so ask! We are a family. We care." Willow kissed his cheek in a sudden gesture of affection, shuddering slightly when it was much cooler than she'd thought it would be._

_ "Thanks, Red. And you- Pirate Boy." He changed his tone from sincere to snarky when he switched from speaking to Willow to Xander._

_ "Pirates are considered very sexy. Especially when they have-" Xander lifted his shirt triumphantly, "Will, look at this- abs! A starter set, but there you go!" He turned once and tried to ripple. Spike snorted derisively. "Seriously, aren't I hot stuff?"_

_ "You're asking the wrong girl." She said in a stage whisper with a comforting pat on the shoulder._

_ "Can we get back to my issue, please? Before Rupes gets back? This is sort of...private."_

_ "Is it Buffy or Dawn?" Xander was immediately back to business. "Someone sniffing around our little Dawnie? Can we take him out?"_

_ "Do you honestly think I'd need your help clearing off an undesirable from Bit?" _

_ "Buffy?" Willow led them all to the cluttered dining room table and idly began sorting Giles' mail and notes into piles as she waited for Spike to begin speaking._

_ "Got myself somethin' to celebrate. In a few days, that is. One year."_

_ "That's right! One year since..." Xander and Willow didn't understand Spike's pleased grin, his self-congratulatory leer. "Well, I guess you can take credit, you did wear the talisman." Willow rubbed Xander's knuckles gently under the table. One year since Anya passed. That would mean one year since a lot of beautiful young people died. Or since people went their separate ways. She swallowed thinking of Kennedy. And forced a smile, thinking of the happily, savagely in love Faith and Robin, far away but still in touch when needed._

_ "No, Red." Spike's voice softened and he mentally kicked himself. Bricklayer lost his lover. Red's commando bitch had split almost immediately following. "I know the big battle's got an anniversary on the way- an' that's gonna be a hell of a day to live through. Exist through. But a few days after that, Slayer and I have our celebration." He suddenly felt guilty brining up something so happy. But not guilty enough to stop. Where Buffy was concerned, he never exactly 'held back'. And he was learning to trust these people, his "family" to know that he didn't mean it to harm. _

_ His faith was justified._

_ "Ohh!" Willow's face lit up. "_Ohhhh!_ That's right! We have to have a- a party! A big, _big_ party! Buffy's never survived a year with a guy before. I mean, without regular intervals of heartbreak and grief. This makes a whole happy year! There should be balloons." She said emphatically, pointing a pencil fiercely. _

_ Xander and Spike stared at Willow for a moment after her enthusiastic outburst. "And we're happy for _you_, too, Spike." Xander said in a falsely bright tone._

_ "Thanks ever so." Spike gave a dry chuckle. "I'm all for the party- not on the day though. That's what I need help with. I want to give her the best day ever. Her perfect day. Such as I can, not bein' able to take her out for a champagne breakfast or a sunny picnic on the river." Spike's fingers flicked an imaginary cigarette in his agitation._

_ "She loves every single thing you do for her, or give her. You don't need our help." Xander said with a trace of bitterness. Spike had a hundred plus years of relationship goodness under his thick black belt. Buffy loved him in a really weird, scary, beautiful way. And the guy _got_ her. Knew her, and thank God, because if he had to watch one more heartbreak in Buffy-ville he was going to go psychotic._

_ Spike was touched. But he kept his tone bitter to match Xander's. 'Cause that's the way things went between them. "Yeah, well, as a lover an' husband, I'm all aces. But haven't had a lot of time to get to know all the little treats and girly goodnesses she craves. Spent the time in the void gettin' to one know another on a deep heart an' soul level, and then this year to get set up an' figure out life. Plus she bought me that car... oh, that car..." He smiled wistfully just imaginin' it. And they had never given it a proper christenin'. That would probably have to be on the anniversary to-do list. _No wait, that's what _you'd_ like, to spread her all over those seats and...

_ "You're drooling." Willow shut his mouth gently._

_ "The car _is _sweet. If you like old, black, shiny things. Which- look who I'm talking to, of course you love it." Xander laughed and Spike collected himself. _

_ "Yeah, well, the point is I'd like a little friendly advice on the subject of planning somethin' a bit over the top for her, since she so clearly deserves it. And I don't know what I could ever give her to pull even with the DeSoto, but we're not in a competition. I jus' want to give her somethin' extra special, make it all about her. Any ideas?"_

_ "You want _our_ ideas? What about Dawnie?" Willow knew Spike and Dawn would plot and scheme so much better together. They had some weird bonding brother-sister thing that she would probably never be able to emulate. And at the moment she didn't know whether she felt envious or relieved._

_ "Nah, Niblet thinks more like me. You two are Buffy's best mates. You've known her as a person and liked her, not just thought of her as some big annoyin' sister twerp. C'mon. You lot know I bloody hate askin' for help, so- so get on with the helpin' if you're goin' to."_

_ "We were going to let you wriggle a little longer." Xander shook his head and Willow nudged him with her foot under the table. "Okay, okay. Gimme a minute, gotta think like Buffster..."_

* * *

><p><em> "No! <em>Not_ a fancy dinner out, Buffy. You're thinking like...well, like you!" Dawn slammed six glasses into place as she set the table._

_ "Spike loves fancy dinners out! He thinks they're romantic." Buffy answered defensively._

_ "I know he does. But I thought this was supposed to be all about him." Dawn sighed patiently._

_ "All about him would mean poker, Manchester United, and hard liquor." Buffy pouted and grumbled. "Which... I guess we could do that." It wasn't like Spike wouldn't bend over backward and do anything or go anyplace to make her happy, even if he did it with much outward swearing and whining._

_ "You do not get this 'planning for him' thing. He doesn't want to spend your anniversary like that! But you could probably do something _he'd like to do_ with _you_."_

_ Buffy gave her sister a pointed look as she started dropping a dozen pork chops into a giant bag of Shake' n' Bake. "Something that's all about him, but involves me, that he'd like. Yeah, great plan, but I _do _want to leave the house that day- at least for an hour or so." Dawn snickered and Buffy joined in, feeling a warm sisterly glow spreading over her. Dawn's getting to be my friend. Not just a sister. A friend._

_ "You know what he'd like?"_

_ "I'm apparently open to suggestions." She reminded her._

_ "Something... a little bit bad. He's got a demon, he's all 'Mr. Badass'. But he lives a really clean cut life for us. He wants to be a family man, you know?" Dawn tried to explain._

_ "I know he does. He's actually really good at it. You'd never think-"_

_ "Yes, you would! I mean look at how he took care of Drusilla for all those years, even when he_ didn't_ have a soul. She couldn't have been easy to look after, she was nuts and then she was really sick."_

_ "I don't like-" Buffy's eyes gave a sudden flash and Dawn hastily subsided on the topic of Drusilla._

_ "I know, okay. Fine. _Her_ aside, I watched him try to catch all the pieces when you were gone and he took care of me. And we know how much he loved his mom, even if he doesn't like to talk about it too much."_

_ "You're right, it shouldn't surprise me. As much as it does, but it does." She shook her head. "So, okay- he's all Suburban Hubby, and you think he wants something 'bad boy'?"_

_ "He's happy being your husband and my big brother guy, you know that. But still- I think he'd like to do something fun and maybe a little dangerous. _Safely _dangerous."_

_ "I could get him a motorcycle?"_

_ "You can't keep buying him vehicles! I know you have a big nest egg from getting seven years of salary at once, but seriously- it won't last if you keep buying him a car or something huge for every holiday."_

_ "Stop being so reasonable. You're supposed to be the kid." Buffy teased. "Hmm. Spike the bad boy..." She had to admit she loved that. Normal bad boy, not blood sucking, maiming bad boy. Not evil. Just a little bit dark. Like her._

_ "Think like Spike. Loud music. Leather. Places you'd never, ever let me go until I'm- dead." Dawn grinned wickedly. "I think I should spend the night someplace else. Jenna's? It's a Saturday."_

_ "You and Jenna ask her mom. It's okay with me- if I talk to her before you go."_

_ "Sweet!" Dawn skipped up the stairs, fingers already dialing the cell phone that emerged from her pocket._

* * *

><p><em> "Don't stay on the phone forever! Those guys better get over here soon." <em>

_ "Look, helpful as all this, we need to get rollin'. Dinner an' all." Spike sighed. The three were now at Willow and Xander's, having left when Giles' home when Giles came in and demanded they either "begin transcribing his numerous instant messages into passable expressions of non-abbreviated words in the English language" or leave the premises._

_ "You shouldn't worry so much." Willow soothed._

_ "And what was wrong with the ninety-eight helpful suggestions we already made?" Xander demanded._

_ "I can take her to some posh place any time. It's gotta be more than that." Spike shook his head. He couldn't explain it. She deserved something completely normal- but incredibly special. My little oxymoron..._

_ "You know what she'd like? She'd like to get all old world beauty queen- just for a night." Willow thought back to all the occasions she'd heard Buffy admire the old-fashioned, elegantly dressed noble women or stars they saw in the old movies or in Giles' books. _

_ "No, Will- didn't she get that idea from looking at pictures of Darla and Drusilla?"_

_ "Are you tryin' to get me staked, woman?" Spike was aghast. "Don't like those frilly little twits anyway. Not anymore." He mumbled the last part._

_ "But she only got to try it once! And she got possessed by haunted Halloween costume."_

_ "I know, I was there." Spike smiled swiftly and then shuddered as he remembered, not jus how she'd looked, but how they'd both acted. _I almost killed my wife... she wasn't my wife at the time, but bloody hell._ "No big poofy frocks. No helpless damsels. That ain't my girl." He crossed his arms with a defiant sneer._

_ "How about mighty Slayer dressed as Victorian girl- but without the super fluffy dress. Is that okay? Just for a night?" Willow suggested. She'd had a "girlfriend's confidential" and heard many of the "friend appropriate" honeymoon details, including the stay at the charming Victorian hotel in Denver. "She really loved that place you were at in Denver. With the dancing, and the pretty outfit. She showed me the dress..." She hinted._

_ Spike reconsidered. "Yeah. Yeah, somethin' a bit formal. More formal. She never gets that. Except on our honeymoon, just for a night or so. The rest of her life is all blue jeans, yoga pants, and sneakers." And naked. Yes, hot naked body wrapped around me in every room with a door that locks..._

_ "Even our school dances got ruined for her. I think I saw her in her prom dress for an hour, and it kinda smelled like dead demon." Xander winced in recollection._

_ Spike nodded, refocusing, eyes closing. "She's got a few dresses now. Not that there's much chance to wear them here. She lost most of her pretty bits and bobs as well, an' I haven't exactly built up her stock."_

_ "Velvet jewel box, pretty, fancy dress. Maybe pull out a little of the- um- the William side." Willow knew Spike didn't mention that side to anyone but Buffy, but she'd gotten glimpses of it here and there._

_ The poet. Well, yeah. Alright then, she liked that side of him. He'd need a suit- yes, a suit, bloody hell, and a beautiful dress for her, and a beautiful place to wear them. A garden someplace,or a ballroom- if they still made those places. Yeah. A night to be the beautiful, demure girl. No- woman. A girl grown up and sparkling. Just Buffy. William's beloved, pampered, cherished wife. She'd like to show that side of herself._

* * *

><p><em> "I need something for the Slayer side. The hot, sexy, pin you to a wall, make love until the building collapses, dirty dance with you in a dark corner side." Buffy dug through her closet, muttering to herself. "And I have zilch. Zilch!" Patrolling wear- all comfy. Done with leather pants and mini skirts, or even long skirts. Jeans, khakis, yoga pants, a couple pairs of shorts, tank tops and blouses galore, a couple tee shirts, a couple sweaters, a couple skirts and dresses. <em>I used to have a _way_ funner wardrobe...

_ "Buffy? Buffy, Spike? Are you home?" Willow shouted up the steps. "I used my key..."_

_ "I'm up here, Wills! I was working out, I still have the radio cranked!" Buffy left the master bedroom and appeared at the top of the steps._

_ "Oh. Oh, good, I knocked, and you didn't answer, so I decided to just come in and drop this off really quick." Willow held up a bundle of newspapers._

_ "What's that?"_

_ "Giles got a bunch of clippings about these strange ritual items being stolen- all up and down the locus heading up. As in towards us. Looking like they're heading this way."_

_ "Uh-oh." Buffy pounded down the steps. "I guess the wardrobe crisis will have to wait."_

_ "Wardrobe crisis?" Willow asked._

_ Buffy hesitated. Wills could keep secrets to the grave- if they were important. But minor details like "I'm planning to take Spike to this really dark dive of a pool hall slash club on the outskirts of town and I'm going to attempt to dress like his punk rock fantasy"- she wasn't sure Will wouldn't slip on that one. "I just need some new stuff. But this comes first."_

* * *

><p><em> "Hey, Luv- you need a ride home from your class?" Spike concentrated very hard on asking his question in a casual manner. Don't tip her off...<em>

_ "Yeah, but we'll be fine walking home by ourselves. Will and I have a class at the same time tonight. Or I can see if Will wants to take her car for once."_

_ "Take a car, alright, Luv? I've got an errand to run."_

_ "An errand?" She purred and stopped packing her book bag._

_ Oh, bollocks. "Jus' a little something."_

_ "What kind of 'little something'?"_

_ "You'll see soon enough." Spike tapped her nose once. Concentrate on Valentine's Day. Relive that. Relive that so she can't get a fix on what you're thinkin'..._

_ "Mmmm, someone's all-" she pressed a hand to the front of his suddenly tighter black jeans, "-pokey."_

_ "Bloody hell, Pet. Your class..." His eyes closed and his jaw clenched._

_ "Is it for something special, this little something?" She rubbed him softly._

_ "You get a surprise, Buffy." He opened his eyes and grabbed her wrists. "One year- we're nearly there." Tell her a little, they couldn't keep each other out completely, not when they were claimed, an' so close. Fortunately, there was a difference between secrets and surprises._

_ "I know." And suddenly all the playfulness was gone. "Oh- Spike! Be careful for the next few days, okay? Please, promise me?"_

_ "Shh, of course. Of course I will." He didn't mock her sudden anxiety. He knew their track record all too well. Near misses, near death, _actual _death..."We're gonna make it. We made it this far."_

_ Thank God. He understands. Buffy wrapped her arms around him tight. "I love you. We're going to do something special that night, okay?"_

_ "Of course we are." He shook his head. Silly Slayer, did she think he'd forget? Of course he'd plan something. _

_ Good, that was settled. Now she could stop worrying about if he was planning something, since he knew she was planning something. "Would your little something happen to be at the mall?"_

_ "Very possibly." He smirked._

_ "I have to go there, too."_

_ "Chivalry demands I offer my bride the first go." He gave a courtly inclination of his head._

_ "Chivalry is so hot." She licked her lips and he snatched a kiss. "But if you want to go while I'm at class- I'll make sure we take a car this time, so chivalry doesn't have to worry about us walking home."_

_ "I know you can take care of yourselves. The pickin' you up from class deal is part of my bein' madly in love with you. Gonna have to put up with it."_

_ "I think I can manage that. I have to go. Go shop." Buffy pushed her arms into her bag and kissed her husband fondly._

_ "I promise you'll like what I get you- when you get to see it." He winked._

_ "I bloody buggerin' hate this." Spike stared at a whole lot of nothing in the dressing room mirror. Three suits- soddin _suits_, hung on the wall and a fourth one on him. "Alright, you wankers- you gave me a soul an' a second chance at life, the promise of some kinda eternal reward with my true love, an' all the rest. Gimme a bleedin' reflection for five minutes so I can see how the hell I look!" The mirror remained stubbornly empty. _

_ "Fine. Be that way. I'll do it by feel, jus' like I do every other blasted thing..." Spike finally chose a dark charcoal suit by the feel of the lines and the cut, a soft gray shirt under it, and left the tie. He hadn't found a ballroom, but he had found a place that had a terrace over looking a pond. They didn't offer dining on the terrace but he persuaded them to make an allowance for one night, and also ensured they would be alone. He'd gone to the library, gotten out the old standbys, Shakespeare's Sonnets and a volume of Keats. _

_ "William" had learned a lot about language in the last century or so, and he was going to read her poetry like poetry was meant to be read, with full body participation. When he read _My Mistress's Eyes_ to Buffy on the night- well, by the time he got to "If snow be white, then her breasts are dun", he'd be working the clasp off her bra with his teeth. _

_ His togs were in order, the reading material, the venue, Niblet would be away at a friend's place- all that was left was her outfit and her gift. "Why do I always save the hard bits for last?" He grumbled to himself. An hour later he was still grumbling the same things._

_ He was about to give up on the dress when he got into a physical altercation with a mannequin. And then he saw it. It didn't help that the saleswoman was waving it wildly while screamin' about her precious dummies, but he liked it as soon as he saw it. It was silvery. Like moonlight in the threads. And it was long, and full and had those pitiful excuses for straps that were really just bits of thick thread. So easy to get off..._

_ "-half a mind to call the store detective!"_

_ Spike blinked. "Yeah, Ducks, that's fine. Can you show me this frock in a smaller size? An' would you help me find shoes to match? For my wife. First anniversary." He gave the now openly staring clerk his broadest, most boyish grin and the full benefit of his dark cobalt eyes._

_ "What? Why? Oh... come this way." Suddenly disarmed, the saleswoman led him into formal well._

_ And another one bites the dust, he smirked as he followed in her wake. _Oh great. Now I'll have that song stuck in m' head for the next hour...

* * *

><p><em> "I am going to look like a freak." Buffy mumbled to herself. But she'd put it off for an hour. The mainstream department stores had plenty of nice choices, but nothing that screamed out to her. So at last she was standing in front of Dark Closets- which might as well have been called "Sluts 'R' Us, Buffy mused to herself.<em>

_ But the store wasn't bad at all. Okay, some of it was too wacky for her tastes, but they had what she thought of as "people clothes"- dresses that were actually really cute. _

_ "I like this one." Dawn said, thrusting a bright red minidress in her face._

_ "DAWN!" Buffy gasped and blushed. "You- you're as bad as Spike. You both need a bell! around your neck." She blushed harder, having a sudden flashback. Once, wow- not really that long ago, she'd been surprised by him in the basement of the Magic Box, and her response- Spike! Bell. Neck. Look into it." And his comment- oh God, a scorchingly sexual voice, every tilt of his head and movement of his lips- "Comes with a nice leather collar does it?"_

_ "Earth to Buffy? I'm sorry I snuck up on you, okay? We said we'd meet up in another half hour, but I saw you when I walked past. Are you still with me?"_

_ "Huh? Huh- yeah." Buffy blinked. She took note of her sister's outstretched hand and the item in it. "Dawn, put that down. I want to look sexy, not slutty. I'm thinking basic black."_

_ "And while you're here- you should totally get Spike some of the cheap, but durable, goth jewelry. He doesn't have much left, and I know he wouldn't normally wear it-"_

_ "You don't have to make excuses. You just have to help me pick it out." Buffy chided softly. She looked at her hands. Her left bore the huge, glittering engagement ring and the sparkling wedding band. Her right still carried Spike's much worn and scarred thick silver ring. All Spike had had to offer her as a token in the void. And he'd given it to her to wear- until they could get her something better. Hah. _As if you could have better than having someone's all. _"Help me get him everything he should have. I want him to have everything he used to, back in his punk rocker era." _

_ "Well..." Dawn tapped her chin. "He says Billy Idol stole his look from him. So think Billy Idol in his glory days."_

_ "Okay. Piece of cake, You look for the dress, I'll look for the gifts." Buffy walked up to one of the corner racks. She quickly picked a thick leather strap bracelet for herself, and one for him, covered in little silver studs. And a black encrusted, engraved silver ring, then another. A thick linked silver chain for a necklace- until her eyes wandered higher. _

_ "Comes with a nice leather collar does it?" His voice teased inside her head. No, not a collar. It was supposed to be a necklace- not like you'd usually wear. Maybe not like he'd ever wear. She put the silver chain in the crook of her arm with the rest of the accessories she'd picked, but still stood looking at the top display on the jewelry rack. _

_ It _was_ like a collar, really. A wide black band, but instead of having studs, it had many silver rings, small circles of metal spaced in the leather like studs should have been placed inside them but weren't. Her fingers picked it up hesitantly. _I can't give him this. It probably buckles, it's probably like an insult..._She turned it over. Only $8.50. And it didn't buckle, it snapped shut with three snaps along the two inch width of the leather. And oh my God- he'd look so hot in it, that thick black circle breaking up the perfect pale throat and his sharp jawline. Oh God, I would start really, _really _channeling Spike and get all wet today, of all days. In the middle of the mall, with Dawn, when he wasn't even here to take care of it..._

_ "That's a nice one." A smiling gentleman nodded at her and reached over her head, snagging one just like the one she was admiring. Buffy looked at him. He had on a necklace in almost the same style, but it was brown leather and had a dragon etched into it. _

_ "Hey- um. Can I ask you a question?" Buffy asked hesitantly._

_ "I don't work here." The man quickly explained with a kind smile._

_ "No, it's not related to the store. It's related to the necklace. Are these-" she held up the article she was considering for Spike, "comfortable?"_

_ "Oh, very." He flipped over the band he was holding and pointed. "This material's soft." _

_ Buffy flipped it over and paid attention to what she was seeing this time. Soft gray fabric, or maybe brushed suede, lined the interior. And it all felt smooth, Plus- she snapped it open and shut a few times- it was adjustable. "Thanks for your help." She added it to the pile in her arm. If he didn't like it, she could take it back. And it was hard to buy for a side of a guy that you had spent years pushing away! She hoped it wasn't too late to show him she loved all of him. _No, it wasn't too late, They had years and years to love, either here, or in some eternal void, wherever. And if she loved his demon, he would know, wouldn't he, how much she loved all of him?

_ "Any time." The man smiled and walked away._

_ "That's perfect for him. Of course- if you want him to go all out, you'll have to lend him your black eyeliner." Dawn sidled up to Buffy as she was fumbling with her collection of accessories._

_ "He can borrow it if he wants, but I kinda doubt he'll go that far down memory lane. Now- what did you find me?"_

_ "Something that screams you're so hot you'll make any man burst into flames." Dawn held up a clingy black dress, soft material that would reach to mid-thigh, with strips of fabric crossing the back and the plunging neck line of the dress._

_ "Dawn- is that the right message to send?" She laughed nervously, but was already thinking how she'd look to Spike when she emerged wearing it._

_ "Yup. 'Cause it also sends the message 'Try it and I'll kill you'. And only Spike is brave enough to risk the wrath of Buffy." _

_ "Yeah, but he also is the type to burst into flames pretty easy." Buffy joked, holding up the dress in front of her body, turning to look in one of the mirrors lining the shop wall. "Oh- Dawn. I can't wear this, I look like I'm a hooker." Buffy hissed._

_ "No, because you don't look cheap. And I hope you have some serious money on your debit card, 'cause this isn't exactly a bargain." She came behind her sister and held up a pair of strappy black heels over her shoulder. "But Spike will definitely be 'hooked'._

_ "You understand that this is just an outfit, right? I'm not really-"_

_ "What? In love with your awesome husband who is a totally hot, sweet guy who would die for us?"_

_ "I want to be a good role model for you- do you get that? Mom's not here, and I am. Mom would never wear an outfit like this to go out with Dad." Buffy suddenly blurted._

_ "Dad's a jerk." Dawn said flatly. "He and Mom got a divorce. Not saying the outfits make a difference, but a good role model to me is a couple who goes in for the long haul, and stays crazy about each other. Plus, hello- if you'd wanted to be a good role model- you wouldn't have worn those 'come bite me' leather pants the last few years." _

_ "Hey!"_

_ "I'm just kidding! C'mon. Let's go pay for this stuff- and then since I'm so helpful- you can take me down to the less trashy store and buy me something pretty."_

_ "Trashy? Oh that does it. You are so doing laundry duty for the next week. I'm gonna have to find demons that splatter..."_

* * *

><p><em> "I don't have a week, I've got two soddin' days, and I haven't found her anything an' I hate the mall. I bloody hate it. Why are all teenagers so-<em>squeaky_?" Spike cut the work out short. _

_ Xander wiped his face with a towel. "Do what you gotta do. I'll pick the girls up from their Thursday class. I'll even pick up Dawnster. And speaking of teenagers- where do you get off complaining about teenagers and how they 'squeak'? Dawn-"_

_ "Doesn't squeak. Much." Spike shoved his boots on and Xander ran a towel over his face._

_ "You've got that whole 'brotherly love' thing clouding your ears."_

_ "Yeah, I might've. But I'm more worried about the husbandly love. I don't want to jus' get her any pretty little thing. I want somethin'...special. That goes with the dress, the night."_

_ "Your Victorian soirée ." Xander grinned._

_ "You ever tell anyone an' I'll open up your jugular and drain you into a keg for the next poker night- which you won't be at. Not as a player anyway." Spike threatened, smiling slightly._

_ "Oooh, scary. You can't drink me, Fangs. Who'd help you with all the heavy stuff?" Xander tossed Spike his duster and pulled on his own shoes as he paused by the door._

_ "I dunno- maybe Buffy with her supernatural strength?" Spike retorted pulling the duster up over his head and pulling on a pair of dark shades._

_ "Oh yeah. I keep forgetting that particular threat never works on you mystical types." He placed his hand on the knob. "You ready to dash for it? I'll lock up for you."_

_ "Ta', mate." Spike and Xander exchanged a rare, genuine smile, before Spike dashed from the house and into his car with the magically tinted windows._

* * *

><p><em> Antique shops might have something. Something really from the period. An' it'll break in three nights of patrolling. If I can find something. If there are any antique stores in this giant air freshener of a town... Spike drove past the thick banks of pines and out to the mall. Gonna go with the sure thing. Not waste time drivin' through every street to see what little shops and - oh there's the ticket! <em>

_ Spike jerked into a parking spot and ignored the meter. Something better than the mall and a little more sturdy than an antique store- a boutique with beautiful little trinkets in the window. The things he did for love... He smiled to himself. Yeah. He'd do anything for her, including some shopping in a poncey little store on Market Street._

* * *

><p><em> "It's just up the street. Jenna can drive ten blocks in a straight line, Buffy."<em>

_ "You said her mom was driving you to the movies!"_

_ "She can- if you won't let Jenna do it." She turned big pleading eyes to her sister, who was busy tying a bow onto a box._

_ Buffy sighed. "Yes. Fine- but we're going to be home tonight. And we're not leaving town. Any-"_

_ "Pet, stop. She'll be good. Well- good as we usually are." Spike came down the stairs and wrapped one forearm around Dawn's neck, exchanging one of their conspiratorial smiles. "Be good, Niblet. No boys."_

_ "No cars, no boys, no alcohol, no drugs, no cigarettes- anything else?" She winked at him._

_ "Can't think of anything." Spike kissed her brow quickly._

_ "Have a good anniversary, guys." Dawn stopped her bantering for a minute and hugged her brother and sister hard. "Thanks for keeping things together. I know it's been a rough year- well, not as rough as the last three before it, but this has been a really happy one. Have a wonderful time, you deserve it." _

_ "Have a good night, Sweetie. We'll see you tomorrow morning." Buffy gave her a little shove out the door as a horn beeped._

* * *

><p><em> "Are you ready for a night out on the town, Luv?" Spike purred, pressing up to her. <em>

_ "Yes. I am_ well_ rested." Buffy and Spike had spent the entire day asleep, having been up until sunrise fighting a team of demon smugglers who had finally reached Pine Ridge with a truckload of stolen sacred items. "And Giles has strict orders not to involve us in the great 'pack and ship' return of the cargo we got last night. Or- this morning." She yawned and shook herself. "I don't smell like massacred smuggler, do I?"_

_ "You smell like you always smell. Bloody delicious." Spike panted once, harshly against her ear. Ooh, God control yourself..._

_ "You don't have to control yourself for much longer." Buffy whispered, picking up on his thoughts. "Happy anniversary, Spike."_

_ "Happy anniversary, Buffy. God, Sweetheart, Precious, we made it!" He pulled her up into a swirling hug. _

_ "We made it! We made it!" She squealed. Giggling, and sparkling her eyes at him- and he was laughing, deep, quick chuckles bubbling up._

_ "It's sunset. Come on, let's get ready. We have so much to celebrate."_

_ "I'm going to go get your gift. The part you can unwrap..." Buffy giggled and pushed away from him._

_ "I can't unwrap this?" He slowly ran a hand across her back, ending with it cupping her rear._

_ "Later!"_

_ "Alright then, in the efforts to make 'later' closer to now, I'm gonna get your prezzie, and meet you back on the couch." Spike started up the stairs._

_ "I- I have to get some- uh final touches finished." Buffy stammered._

_ "Take your time. I'll meet you down here in a bit then." Spike smirked and headed to the training room, watching Buffy with a lustful eye as she went into the bedroom. He pushed the stack of gym mats away from the closet, moved a few dozen miscellaneous weapons around- and pulled out his suit bag, her dress bag, and the present, already in its slim black velvet case, tied with a white satin ribbon._

* * *

><p><em> Buffy hustled into the bathroom after shimmying into her dress. Thank goodness the top half was kind of clingy and supportive, because there was no earthly way a bra went on this thing, not with the open design back and way too plunge-y neckline. Underwear- yeah, even though Spike would swoon if she left them off, she wore them, in case she had to do some demon killing on their date. Might as well not flash the population. <em>

_ She tousled her hair into riot of wisps, pouted her lips and glossed them with a deep pink shade, and applied mascara and eyeliner. Last step- the "come and ravish me" heels and the thick leather bracelet with its studs. "Who's a bad girl?" She winked at her reflection. She wiggled seductively and caught her heel where the carpet met the bathroom tile and banged her hands into the wall as she pitched forward. "Okay...so maybe 'bad' is a little presumptuous." She sighed, straightening herself up._

* * *

><p><em> He rinsed the gel out of his hair as a last touch and finger combed it in the main bathroom. Bit's bathroom. He picked up one of her brushes and tried to smooth down some of the worst spots. He heard a clump and soft gasp from their room. "Luv?"<em>

_ "I'm okay!" Buffy called back, sounding flustered. "Just- one more minute!"_

_ Just one more minute to go and spread the frock in it's fancy bag across a chair, the shoes in a box on the floor beneath it, and throw himself down on the couch, the picture of scholarly refinement. He put a book on the couch in front of him and balanced the gift on his knee. "Ready when you are, Pet."_

_ "I'm ready!" Buffy took a deep breath and marshaled her odd collection of little gift boxes- necklaces and rings in simple white paper with silver ribbons. It kind of ruined the naughty little fantasy look, but she didn't mind. "Here I come." She began to walk sinuously down the staircase._

_ She didn't get more than halfway down when her eyes met his."Oh my-"_

_ "-God, look at you." Spike finished his wife's sentence, rising hastily, barely grabbing the jewel box as it fell off his knee._

_ "You- wow." Buffy fumbled for words. Dark gray, almost black, suited him so well. And the hair. And the suit, the whole deal- this sexy scholarly looking stud. Oh, try to say that three times fast..._

_ "You- holy wow, too." He blinked a dozen times, trying to wake himself up. Sure, he had fantasies, and all of them involved her. But they didn't usually include outfits like that. They didn't usually include outfits, period. _

_ "William." She smiled softly. _

_ "Slayer." He grinned wolfishly. He watched her approach, all honey skin and legs and already smelling like hot rushing blood and slowly seeping juice._

_ "You got dressed up for me." She glided into his arms, dropping the boxes to the couch beside the books of poetry._

_ "Not half as much as you got dressed up for me." He tenderly brushed a wisp of hair from the corner of her mouth. "You did, didn't you? This is the look you thought I'd like to see?" _

_ "I'm guessing the suit was what you'd thought I'd like?" She pressed to him tightly. "You're right."_

_ "Luv, I'd like you in anything. An' nothing."_

_ "Same here. But it- you gave up a lot for me in a year. I know you don't think so, but I do. This whole suburbia thing is different for you."_

_ "It's all I ever wanted, Lamb." He nodded firmly._

_ "But it isn't all you are. You're still my vampire. My mate." She let her smile have a touch of "grr" in its depths._

_ "Bloody hell, woman, you'll never leave the house if you keep on like this." Her words, her scent, her appearance, were all making him crazy, as well as painfully, fly-burstingly hard._

_ "I wanted to make you happy." She beamed at him._

_ "You've done a fantastic job, jus' by showin' up." He lead her to the chair where her new dress was slung in its bag. "You've given up plenty for me, Luv. The daylight. The safe, tame world."_

_ "I can't give that up. It's who I am. And Spike is part of who you are."_

_ "William is too. Someone a bit softer, an' gentler. Who can pamper you good an' proper."_

_ "I'm pampered. I always-" She bit her lip and mulled her words for a spilt second, "I always feel like you're gentle enough. Soft enough. Not soft and gentle. But not too hard. For me. You're the perfect mix."_

_ "You're my girl. Always wanted to be just the right blend for you, Pet. William and Spike."_

_ "I want to be the perfect blend for you. Slayer and Buffy." Her breath came in a gasp as he stole her air in a long kiss. "You planned a William and Buffy evening."_

_ "You planned a Spike and Slayer night." _

_ "How'd that happen?" She giggled. _

_ "How it usually happens. Neither of us plan worth a damn, unless we plan together." He placed her hand on the dress bag, which she seemed to notice for the first time. "Looks like we both have something in mind."_

_ "We have to choose."_

_ "Not necessarily. Not at this moment anyway." Because he really, really didn't want her to take that dress off._

_ "Presents?"_

_ "Presents." He agreed. "Ladies first." _

_ She hesitated. "You got me something big. I didn't get you anything fancy..."_

_ "You bought me a car." He said dryly, one brow raising. "An' you might not realize it, Kitten, but that dress you're hardly wearing is a gift for yours truly." He rested his lips on her ear. "I do get to unwrap you tonight, don't I?"_

_ She shivered and nodded, words fleeing when she could feel his lips grazing her lobe and then her neck, hardness prodding her cheeks. She slowly reached out and slid the zipper down on the dress bag, pausing halfway through. "You bought me a dress?"_

_ "I _tried_ to buy you a dress. Let's see how I did." He gave a single nervous chuckle. _

_ "Ahhhhh." She sucked in a deep, appreciative breath and swept it up in her arms, bag flapping behind it. "Spike! Spike! " She glanced rapidly between him and the dress._

_ "Is that a -oomf!" The force of her kiss rocked him back and he sat on the coffee table with a thud and slight creaking of wood. _

_ "Yes! Yes it's a good noise or a good choice, or whatever you wanted to say! It's gorgeous! It's a real _girl _dress! It's a princess dress!" She whirled with it, and then just as abruptly, dropped it back over the chair and fell upon the shoes. "These are so cute! And they're the right size! You-" she fixed him with a surprisingly stern eye, "are a fantastic husband."_

_ "I have a bloody amazin' wife. Gotta keep up with her." He laughed at her delight. _

_ "No one's ever spoiled me before." She suddenly whispered, putting the shoes gently down._

_ He swallowed. "Then I'm lucky. To be the first."_

_ "You are my first. And my only." She murmured, eyes suddenly glimmering with unshed tears. _

_ "Oh, Pet...don't cry, you'll smudge." He kissed each eyelid gently and ran a fingertip swiftly along each under eye._

_ "No one ever spoiled you either." She shook her head and swallowed around the tension in her throat. _

_ "Only you. Hey, it was worth the wait, right, Luv?"_

_ "Right." She shook her head at his acceptance of their fate, and internally sighed. He was so fierce about so much. But with her, with realizing they couldn't fight the past or they'd never have ended up together, he tried to just let things flow. And she could so use a break from guilt and brooding. "Okay, you. _You_ have to open a present."_

_ "I still have one left for you." He protested._

_ "I'll wait. You open one now." She sat down with him on the couch, purposely running one leg along his, heel ending gently in his lap against his bulge. _

_ "You might wanna move that." He dropped his human features for a split second before recalling them. "You look good enough to eat, an' you bein' so close doesn't help."_

_ "You'll just have to wait for dessert." She reminded him, and purposely shifted, legs opening just enough to show him her black thong. _

_ Distraction, distraction... Spike pulled one box to his hands and ripped the paper carefully. "Oh, I like this." He held up the studded cuff bracelet first. "Had one of these years ago, Luv." _

_ "I- I was trying to get you some things you might have had and lost." She smiled tentatively. "They're not all fancy..."_

_ "I love it." His voice dared her to argue and for once, she listened to the tone and merely smiled. "Let's see..." He unwrapped and preened over each little trinket he received, pausing before the last, long box. "I've opened three, and you've only done two. Your turn."_

_ She agreed and let him drop the slim velvet box in her lap. "This better not be something really expensive, Spike. Those pieces were all cheap and-"_

_ "They came from you. They're worth a million apiece, to me. Now shut up, an' open your pretties." He winked and reassured, "No, it's not too pricey. Does that take away some of your worry, Pet?"_

_ "Yes."She admitted and pulled the white ribbon free and popped open the lid. "This is perfect." She lifted the necklace up and traced it with one fingertip. "It's so soft. It's- lady like." She caressed the smooth black velvet choker with it's carved white cameo. "You went all out, Honey."_

_ "I thought it would go with the evening I had planned." He said with an easy shrug._

_ Buffy lovingly placed it in her lap and turned her attention to the lone box beside her."You next." She pressed her last package into his hand. He nodded and slit the paper swiftly and took out the two necklaces, the thick black collar-like one and the heavy silver links. "If you don't like them, I- I can take them back. Or just the one. I was trying to think of how you would have looked- back then. But I wasn't back there- y'know- _then_. But I know what's-his-face stole your look, so I tried to think like that... But I probably got it all wrong, and here just-" She stopped her nervous prattling and reached over to whisk them away, suddenly unsure of her choices._

_ "Leave off, Luv!" Spike protectively pulled both necklaces farther from her hands. "I don't have much occasion to wear certain items these days- but I do like 'em. And I certainly wore things just like this, back then." _Took 'em off victims half the time, but I did like 'em... _He hastily put that thought from his mind. "These are my own. From you. I already love 'em." He laid both necklaces back in the box, and looked at her._

_ Buffy nodded her head. Yes, they were from her, and they would go perfectly with the anniversary night out she planned- if they were still going to go on it. "I love mine, too." She slid the choker slowly into her palm._

_ "Here, let me." He took the soft black velvet with its delicate carved white cameo from her fingers, and she turned to him, making him go weak when she slowly swept her hair forward and ran a hand over her slender neck. "Do you like cameos, Luv? They were popular in my day. Got the prettiest lookin' girl I could find. 'Course nothing was pretty enough, so I picked this one." He knew he was rambling and he knew it was because he was trying desperately not to give in to his impulse and whisk her upstairs for a more private anniversary celebration then the one he'd planned._

_ "I don't think I ever had one before. It's perfect."_

_ "Not too tight?" He slipped a finger under the small silver links and hook in the back._

_ "Nope. Does it look okay?" She turned back and lifted her chin and rolled her head to give him the best view of it as it lay on her throat. Which made her neck muscles tense and dance. _

_ "It looks smashing." He murmured with an effort, tearing his eyes from the pulsing under her skin to what rested on of it. "Now you." He pushed the leather necklace in to her hand. _

_ "Oh. I- okay." She blushed and fumbled._

_ "What is it, Sweetlet?" _

_ "Nothing." She answered. "I never helped a guy on with a necklace before."_

_ "It doesn't make me look like a ponce does it?" Spike suddenly growled._

_ "No! Very no. The opposite." She swallowed and slid her hands up and across his shoulders. He seemed perfectly at ease, but she wasn't. _It's too much, it's too dark. _"Too tight?" She gasped out._

_ "Alright, what's the joke? Do I look funny?" He ran his hands over it and twisted his neck as she pressed the snaps closed. "Stupid lack of reflection..."_

_ "No. No, Spike, you look really good." She surveyed him with a more critical eye as his smile didn't return. "It doesn't exactly go with your outfit though..." She winced apologetically._

_ "Yours does. With both outfits, the one you have on and the new one." He traced a finger over it and she shivered again. "I'm not hittin' your claim, am I?" He cocked his head._

_ "No." She shook herself. "I'll go change." He grabbed her wrist before she could move away. _

_ "You match. You look lovely, Buffy. _I'll_ change." He rose and she rose with him. "Do you want to tell me what the plan is?"_

_ "You had plans, too. We shouldn't automatically pick mine."_

_ "We can do mine tomorrow night. Or Monday night. Somethin' tells me you made more of a departure to get all dolled up than I did."_

_ "I don't know about that. You actually bought a suit?"_

_ "I did it for love. An' one suit every hundred and fifty odd years isn't so bad- I s'pose."_

_ "In that case- you get your surprise first. I wanted tonight to be for you."_

_ "But it's about us!" Spike cut in._

_ "Says the vampire in the suit with a bunch of poetry tucked under a throw pillow?" She looked at him skeptically. _

_ "Yeah... well..." He shrugged and huffed. "Fine, I made the night all 'bout did the same for me. Now, what's your plan- Slayer?" He licked his lips once and watched something in her smile grow a little harder, a little more wild._

_ "Jax Alley." She grinned._

_ "Is that a street in town?"_

_ "It's a pool hall and club, way out on the south side, before 87." She had done all the research via internet and she hoped the place would live up to it's less than stellar reviews. "It's got a punk, dark metal feel to it. At least- according to the internet. It doesn't have the best reputation." Emboldened by the way his eyes lit up for a second, she tacked on, "But then again... neither do we."_

_ "I don't anyway." He corrected with a smirk._

_ "Tonight, I don't either. I'm the Slayer. Who married the Big Bad. Got herself claimed, and claimed him back." She dug her nails into his chest. "I'm as bad as you are good tonight."_

_ "Fuck, you are one hot little package." He snarled, hand latching suddenly onto the back of her neck._

_ "You go get changed, and you'll get to do exactly what you want to this 'hot little package'." She smirked back._

_ "You sure you want to be seen with me like that?" He rasped, snarl becoming more pronounced, tilting her head up even more as he fondled her neck, fingers tangling under the silver clasp of her choker._

_ "I'm your wife. One year says so. I want to be seen with you however you come. I belong to you."_

_ "Yes." He let out a hiss and shut his eyes. "Yes, and I-" He didn't know exactly why he did what he did next. Maybe it was the claim calling, or because vampiric necks are so sensitive, or because the words 'I belong to you' seemed like the best present he'd ever have and he wanted to give it back. He yanked one of her hands up and slammed her flattened fingers into the cool black leather he wore and reminded her, "I belong to you, too." _

_ "Oh, God, Baby, yes, that's all I want." She kissed him hard, biting down on his lips as he bit down on hers, softly but urgently. "Go. Go get changed or we're never going to make it out of the house."_

_ "Right. Right," He panted and pushed himself off. "Come with me, I'll take a bit. Can hang your new frock up."_

_ She followed Spike up the stairs, trying not to watch too closely as he stripped out of his clothes and rummaged in his side of the closet. He looked so good in nothing. Why did the strip of black around his throat, just a bit above the soft hollow where his neck met his chest, make him look even hotter?_

_ Right, distract yourself. "Honey, what was your plan for the evening?" she watched him slide into worn black leather jeans and socks, then boots, still bare chested, but wearing the rings, the leather cuff and the necklace. _

_ "Moonlight dining on the terrace of some swank place. Poetry. White roses and champagne. Us in our finest." She made a soft whimper of disappointment. "Everything can be moved back a day, Luv. No worries." _

_ "But it sounds so beautiful." She pouted._

_ "Still be beautiful tomorrow. Tonight is for me an' my Slayer. Tomorrow night is for William and his ladylove." He came over to where she sat perched on the edge of the bed and kissed her wrist. And didn't let go. "You taste divine, Pet."_

_ "You do, too." She whispered, licking one finger of his free hand slowly, provocatively. _

_ "Stoppit." He yanked his hand back with a groan. "Makin' it hard to walk, you little tease."_

_ "You liked to be teased a little." She winked. _

_ "So do you." He dug a thumb softly into her claim and she writhed. "See? But it doesn't help us get out of the house." He resolutely turned his back and she heard cloth tearing._

_ "Spike?"_

_ "Don't know if it's still the style, an' don't much care." More cloth tearing and two small cylinders of black fabric graced the floor. Spike slid the top on over his head and turned, now in his a sleeveless version of his tight black tee. "Ripped tanks were the rage." He flexed one arm unconsciously as he stretched to admire his handiwork._

_ "I don't really care if it's a dead trend. I'm all for bringing it back." Buffy watched the smooth white muscles ripple and felt her center liquify even further._

_ "Glad you approve." He gave a smoky chuckle and headed to the bathroom. "William hair will be back tomorrow night. Let's see if I can remember how I used to do this..."_

_ "You can borrow my eyeliner if you want." She offered teasingly._

_ "I'll do that." Spike replied with a perfectly serious voice. Then in a more panicked voice- "You didn't tell anyone about this date, did you?"_

_ "Dawn. Why?"_

_ " 'Cause if I run into any of our lot dressed like this, they'll never let up on the jokes."_

_ "If they tease you- I'll punch 'em." She gave a vicious little titter. "Verbally or otherwise. Besides, you look like someone no one would cross."_

_ "Your lot wouldn't tease much anyway. Xander and Willow helped me with the old world night out scheme for you. They were right nice about it." _

_ "We're all we've got." Buffy leaned on the doorframe and watched Spike leaning over the sink, obviously not able to see himself but he was using the water and gel to stand his hair into a riot of bleached spikes, teased and fluffed out slightly. _

_ "Wow. That Idol guy totally copied you." Buffy blinked when she saw him face to face. _

_ "Wanker." Spike snorted bitterly. "Doesn't matter." He grinned at her with malicious lust. "Ready to go out?"_

* * *

><p><em> Spike followed Buffy's directions to Jax Alley- as best he could when they were pawing hungrily at every opportunity. "Luv- never did christen this car properly." He panted when they pulled into the parking lot of the seedy, isolated bar.<em>

_ "When we get back to the car. If I get started- I'm not going to want to stop."_

_ "Good point." He inhaled an unneeded breath- only to find himself inhaling her sweetly perfumed skin and sweat, arousal and rushing pulse. "Bloody hell." He lunged and kissed her passionately again._

_ "Spike." She laughed softly into his mouth. "Do you want to just skip this place?" Half of her hoped he'd say yes, and they could turn around and drive towards home and pull off someplace. The backseat in this thing was huge. She could imagine riding him on it, pounding herself down until their curls were tangling and sweat was dripping and-_

_ "Don't, Pet." Spike whispered, trying to escape her hotly broadcasting thoughts, wrenching the car door open. This was about us, about her doin' something for me, and me doin' something for her. We can't just make it a quick sprawl in the car, not tonight. First anniversary. She's mine. She stayed with me. She chose me. "We have to take you in an' show you off."_

* * *

><p><em> They entered the club and both of them tensed. "This place is a couple steps up from some demon bar." Buffy wrinkled her nose.<em>

_ "We can leave." Spike ran one hand, knuckles against her skin, up her arm. "Could find some other place..."_

_ "No, it's fine. A couple steps up from a demon bar is still a couple steps." She grinned. _

_ "Tomorrow night you'll get the kind of place you deserve." He whispered in her ear._

_ "You deserve nice places just as much." She turned, leaving their side by side, him halfway in back of her position and faced him. "I picked this place for the darker side of you. And me. We don't 'deserve' this place."_

_ "But it sure is fun to play in?" He smirked._

_ "Something like that." _

_ "Whoa- check out the blast from the past." A heavily pierced and tattooed boy with long, lank black hair pushed past them as they entered the main room. _

_ "Shut up." Spike said with surprising mildness and herded Buffy under his arm towards the bar._

_ " 'Shut up'? That's it?" Buffy asked in surprise._

_ "You want me to break some heads, I will."_

_ "You've changed a lot."_

_ "I'm a happier man. I have a home and a lover, a family. A nice one, not all tryin' to maim and murder all the time. Rubbed off." He winked._

_ "The tiger has been tamed?"_

_ "Oh no, Luv. Jus' knows when to get out his claws. He wasn't worth it."_

_ "I love you. Tiger." She purred flirtatiously. _

_ Spike tapped the bar with one hand, the other hand firmly on Buffy's rear. "Two Buds, mate."_

_ "Spike- beer with Buffy is mondo bad!" _

_ "One beer won't hurt you. 'Cause I won't let anyone or anything hurt my precious Pet." She opened her mouth to protest, and he shushed her. "You don't have to worry anymore. You have someone who can look after you- plus can take you in a brawl. One beer." He firmly pressed the bottle into her hand._

_ "Happy Anniversary, Spike." She raised her drink._

_ "Happy Anniversary, Slayer." He tapped his bottle to hers._

* * *

><p><em> They spent the first few minutes slowly nursing their drinks and wandering aimlessly, taking in the crowd and trying to adjust to the crashing music blaring at them. At least, Buffy was trying to adjust. Spike was fairly pulsating to the beat.<em>

_ "Haven't done this in forever!" He shouted over the screaming guitar. _

_ "Willy's wasn't so much of a club, huh?"_

_ "Not to mention the Bronze." Spike shook his head. "You'd have expected a Hellmouth to do a little better for the dark side."_

_ "I guess evil locus lines have more time for arts and culture. Not so apocalypse-y."_

_ "Cheers to that!" Spike clinked their bottles together again. "Dance with me, Pet?"_

_ "Love to!" She twined her fingers easily with his and they bumped and pushed their way to the floor. "How do you dance to this?" She asked in trepidation when she realized she never really had danced to anything so aggressive, so fast, and loud._

_ "You said you always knew how to move when you were with me." He grinned and yanked her close to him, a little more roughly than usual._

_ "This doesn't feel like dance music, it feels like a combat zone." She protested. _

_ "Then use your Slayer instincts, Luv." He struck out- not to hit, to grab, one hand slammed to her waist, her hip._

_ "Ohh, you watch the sudden moves, buster." She stomped one heel down, centered between his feet._

_ "That's it..." He encouraged in a hiss. "Pick up the pace a little and you're there..."_

_ She got it. It wasn't about the music, it was all the beat, the speed, the heat. Hands to his body, legs always trying to catch his out, not smiling, snarling, not tender, feverish. And God, it was good. Adrenaline coursed through her. _

_ "You're gonna make me bite you right here, right now." Spike sank his blunt teeth into the flesh on either side of her choker. _

_ "More like fuck me right here, right now." She whispered, head thrown back into his embrace._

_ Spike hardened more, which he hadn't thought possible. Buffy had a very sweet set of expressions, and that word wasn't one you heard her use often. If ever. Not now, when it was love... "Sweetlet?" He let go of her throat. As exciting as it was to watch the dark side take it's turn, he just had to check._

_ "Too much?" She looked at him with guilty eyes._

_ "Did you mean it?" He caressed her jaw with his thumb._

_ "Yes. But I don't usually say that stuff." She blushed faintly._

_ "I know. I was jus' checkin' on you. You don't have to be anything but what you are. I love the real you, always have." He brought his lips to hers in a much softer way than he had for the last hour._

_ "This is the real me. Just some part that doesn't like to come out too much. But it's safe here. With you."_

_ "Well, I'm havin' a bloody marvelous time, that's for damn sure." And they began to dance again. "You'll always be safe with me." He promised, lips on her cheek._

_ "I know." She smiled._

* * *

><p><em> After they were tired of the roaring dance floor, they sauntered down to the poorly lit basement where a smaller bar and a dozen pool tables waited. The entire place stank of cigarettes and liquor. Dark red lamps suspended over each table bathed the room in ruby tones. The overall effect was dark and dirty. In both senses of the word.<em>

_ "You won't turn the cue on me this time, now will you?" Spike teased, as they racked the balls at one table._

_ "No. If you get all bumpy, I'll just give the demon what he wants, and then we'll go back to playing." She traced her finger over the top of his collar (as she'd begun to think of it) making sure to press his pulseless artery._

_ "And what if I'm all bumpy elsewhere?" He jutted his hips to hers._

_ "You have to wait."_

_ "You sure you'll want me to?" He in turn ran his finger across her artery, and pressed in with one long, gentle stroke._

_ "Three games. Winner takes all." Buffy broke the contact._

_ "But I already have all." He gestured to her, and they both laughed._

_ "Yeah, you do. But the key word is 'take'." She gave a feline smile and chalked her cue._

* * *

><p><em> "That was not a tie. You can't call the third game a tie. I won." Spike was protesting loudly as they headed back to the top floor, thirsty and wanting a few more dances. <em>

_ "You pinched my butt on my last shot! That made me flub, which made me lose, which means I would have won but didn't, so there. It's a tie."_

_ "Your brain's a cute little mess." Spike kissed her forehead and rolled his eyes. "Fine. A tie. What would you like to drink, Sweetlet?"_

_ "A coke, please. And lets get some onion rings. Ooh and spicy chicken fingers- or a bacon cheeseburger. I haven't had one of those in... wow. I don't know when I _ever _had one of those."_

_ "We never ate. I can't believe it, we never did!" Spike cuffed himself on the head. "I'm a soddin' idiot!"_

_ "Chill out, Honey." Buffy took his arm and beamed. "Don't do the whole 'I didn't take care of you' speech. I needed to work up an appetite. Did you eat?"_

_ "A cup before Dawn left."_

_ "I had an orange. See? We're fine." They squeezed up to the bar. "So order something."_

_ They got an order of wings and onion rings, sat down in a dim booth (dimmer than the rest) and fed each other- eventually nibbling more on each other than the food._

_ "I didn't think you liked spicy things." Spike muttered as she sucked on his sauce covered thumb. _

_ "I like it on you." She fluttered her lashes._

_ "You really did make this a perfect night, Luv. Perfect. I thought all anniversaries were about the husband bending over backwards for the wife- not that I'd mind doin' that, you deserve it." He tipped the last onion ring into her mouth._

_ Munching while she replied, Buffy explained, "I think it usually is- but I don't like that idea. Well, not _all _the time." They laughed quietly. "You spoil me, and I'll spoil you."_

_ "You're a very smart woman."_

_ "You think I'm a dumb blonde."_

_ "Yeah, alright- sometimes. But mostly-" he kissed her, "bloody brilliant."_

_ "It's getting later..." Buffy took in the crowd that now dominated the floor._

_ "Oh, yes the regulars are here now. An' a right unwholesome bunch they look. We can leave as soon as you want."_

_ "Oh, a little unsavoriness isn't so bad. Let's dance a little more. We haven't been to a club in- ha, since our honeymoon. But for almost a solid year after that." Buffy pouted._

_ "There's some club out past the high school, isn't there, Luv? I can take you there sometimes."_

_ "Maybe. I might like to come back out here." She smirked. "We have the clothes for it."_

_ "Might not by the time I'm done with you." He smirked back and pulled her out onto the floor._

* * *

><p><em> Loosened up by lack of responsibility, celebration, love, lust, and a few drinks, the blonde couple attracted attention on the floor, but weren't aware of it. Until a lecherous looking older man followed them to a corner when their dancing had turned into something more private and passionate. "Shove off." Spike looked up from where his mouth was buried in her hair. <em>

_ "Can I cut in?" _

_ Buffy blinked and looked up, turning to face the interruption. "Who the hell says 'can I cut in' in a place like this?"_

_ "Someone who thinks you might like a change from short, blonde and pasty." The older man gestured to his own tall, wide set frame._

_ "Shove off." Spike repeated more firmly, grip tightening on her hips. "She's mine."_

_ The man blinked at his tone and took in his possible opponent. "Oh. Oh, sorry. I didn't see the-" he reached out and pointed uncomfortably close to Buffy's neck. A sinewy hand shot out and crushed the fingers back to his side. "You're those slave freaks with the collars." _

_ Spike didn't know if he had enough blood in his system for it to rush to his face, but he felt heat rise angrily inside of him. "Close your mouth before I rip it out of your head." He growled, eyes narrowing. "This is my _wife_, and that is her _necklace_. Slave..." He seethed. "I should just show you what it's like to-"_

_ Buffy's voice became suddenly very sultry and husky, and her hands wound back behind her and up through Spike's arms. "I'm no one's slave. But I _am _his Pet." She gave a seductive smile._

_ That effectively closed both men's mouths and the interloper walked off, leaving a stunned Spike holding her._

_ "What?" She asked innocently._

_ "You're my Pet, are you?" His voice was no longer angry, but dripping with desire. "I think we should get you home... Pet." He smiled into her lips as he kissed them._

_ "Am I making you happy?" _

_ "Very happy. Let's go."_

_ "I'm going to get one more coke. Being slutty apparently makes me thirsty."_

_ "You're not that. Never that!" Spike hissed. "Don't insult my wife, Luv, only one person can get away with that- an' only because she's your sister and doesn't really mean it."_

_ "You don't think I'm acting kind of naughty?"_

_ "Not kind of. Quite. But who's it for, just me, or any random bloke?" He asked with easy confidence, knowing what her answer would be._

_ "Gotcha." She nodded her understanding. "Hey, will you order for me? I'm going to go brave the restroom." Buffy and Spike shared a wince._

_ "You sure?"_

_ "Two beers, two cokes, and water. I'm positive." She said regretfully._

_ "Well- good luck. If I hear screams I'll come rescue you."_

_ "The only weapon you'll need is Lysol." Buffy marched off resolutely. _

_ Spike chuckled at the truth of that, relaxing because he knew that no human or beast was a threat to her, but God forbid she saw a a bit of grime... "A coke and a Jack, please." He decided to have one more for the road._

_ "Whose boy toy are you?" An inebriated brunette beside him at the bar purred. _

_ "Bugger." He sighed. "Not yours, so get lost." He turned his back on her._

_ "Not mine at the moment..."_

_ "Not yours in bloody ever, so get lost." He ground out. _

_ "Humph." The girl gave an offended toss of her head and got between Spike and his trajectory when he took the drinks and began to head back towards the hallway where the restrooms were, waiting for Buffy. "Your owner should watch you better, if she doesn't want her boy toy to get scooped up by someone..." _

_ Alright, let's weigh this, Spike thought swiftly. I can insult her, get in a beef, and possibly piss off Buffy on our wonderful night. I could deck her, but that's not too nice, plus I'm not just some random vampire anymore, an' a bar fight won't sound good in conversation at parent-teacher night. Plus, I'm holdin' drinks, an' there's no handy place to set 'em down..._

_ "That's not a boy toy, skank." Buffy's dulcet voice sounded from over his shoulder. "That's a not a toy, it's a person, and he isn't a boy, he's a man. More importantly, that's _my _man, and he belongs to me." Buffy sashayed over, radiating her inner slayer. The brunette floozy took a step back, suddenly looking very lost. _

_ Spike couldn't help but laugh inside. Such a tiny little package and so powerful- and possessive when she wanted to be. God, what a turn on. He put on his most innocent expression and fixed the brunette with a wide eyed stare and slowly curving lips as he handed Buffy her drink. "I'm her tiger." His open expression didn't match his devilish tone. He ran his now free hand up her arm possessively. _

_ "Damn straight. I'm his Kitten." Buffy laid her head on his chest._

_ "I'm gonna go." The brunette squeaked and fled._

_ "You were totally not helpful, Mr. Big Blue Eyes 'I'm her tiger'." Buffy hissed, but she was grinning._

_ "What? You can tell Mr. Git on the dance floor that you're my 'Pet', but I'm not allowed to tell the goth tart the same thing?" He downed his shot and snagged a sip of her soda. "Not fair."_

_ "We don't play fair- all the time." She giggled and hurriedly finished the glass. "Restroom was actually decent. And private. I'm all freshened up and I want to get out of this place." _

_ "Then out we go." He sat their glasses down on the nearest table and snugged her to himself, arm tight around her waist, loving the feel of her warm body eagerly cuddling into his. "That was fun."_

_ "Yeah. And loud. I might need aspirin."_

_ "I'll make you feel all better soon." They quick walked through the parking lot. "You really did have a nice time?"_

_ "I don't know if 'nice' is the word. But I had so much fun, being with you. Being part of both of your worlds. I love you, you know that, right?"_

_ "I love you, an' yeah, I do know. I don't know why, I don't how, but I know, an' I'm bloody grateful."_

* * *

><p><em> The car ride home was more intense than the ride out. Both of them could sense the other's arousal and were also feeling kind of out of their depth. The possessiveness, the darkness, less significant than a claim, but stronger than their usual affection- something echoed between them.<em>

_ "Did you notice both of them mentioned something about owning or being owned?" Buffy broke off one of their clawing kisses at a red light with the gasped question._

_ "Uh-huh." He didn't give a shit about the outside observers. He worked his hand into her dress, squeezing one of her soft breasts, unhindered by any bra. His thumb teased her nipple and he felt her hand digging at his belt._

_ "Pull over." She demanded. _

_ "We're in the middle of the highway." He reminded her. _

_ "I don't care." She was already climbing over the seat, heels kicked off, so as not to gouge the leather. I don't want to hurt the upholstery, she thought half-consciously. _

_ "Sod the upholstery." Spike growled, reading her thoughts. "This is gonna have to be quick, Luv, or we're gonna get the rozzers on us."_

_ "The what?"_

_ "The police, but never mind." He shut off the headlights and the engine, and swung himself into the back, using his unnatural flexibility. "Jus' don't want you to-"_

_ "What? Care if it's quick?" Her thong was already shoved into his pocket as soon as he landed on top of her. "I can't wait. I want it to be quick."_

_ "This is just the teaser, I'll give you all the time and attention you deserve as soon as we get home." He ran his hands up her skirt, kneading her curves._

_ "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I want to take my time, Spike? I love you so much. But I want you so bad it hurts."_

_ "Then you get me." He shoved her further up in his arms, legs over his shoulders, her back smashed against the glass as he lapped her hungrily._

_ "Oooh Honey, Spike, God." Buffy let out an explosion of soft cries as he ravaged her for just a few seconds._

_ "Couldn't resist. Had to taste you, Luv." He collapsed back on the seat, head and shoulders against the door, ignoring the handle in his back. One leg sprawled into the floor boards, and one knee drew up for Buffy to lean on. "You know, this is a huge fantasy of mine, Pet."_

_ "Is it?"_

_ "Doesn't every bloke dream of havin' his way with his girl in the backseat of his dream car? You give- oooh bloody fuck-" she slid down onto him the instant he burst from his zipper, "wonderful gifts."_

_ "You do, too. You know how to plan really romantic evenings. You spoil me and pamper me. Flowers and dresses and all the little things around the house like- just everything. Just everything, Baby. You're not perfect, but you're so perfect for me." She gripped his shoulders and crushed her lips into his. _

_ "Like that." He encouraged, slamming up into hers and she pummeled down on him. "Hard, Luv, you can go hard. Never hurts with you. Every day gets better."_

_ She was so beyond ready, and so was he. They stopped trying to talk out loud, it made more sense not to waste her precious air that she was losing with every fevered pant._

_ 'Let yourself go, Luv. I'll catch you. My Slayer. My wife.'_

_ 'Tiger.' She threw her head back and heard his savage roar when he bucked up into her. She shuddered and timed her release to his. 'Perfect.'_

_ "Bloody perfect." He kissed her and unseated her. "You stay in the back an' rest if you want, Pet, I'll get us home quick."_

_ "I don't want you so far from me." She pouted and tried to climb back over into the front. Her legs however, disagreed, and she toppled back into the back seat with a giggle._

_ "I'm right here, Luv. And we'll get home faster actually- now that we can keep our paws off each other. An' upstairs is goin' to last longer."_

_ "Like I worry about you 'lasting longer'." She scoffed. "But it did take the edge off."_

_ "I doubt very much that your edge is even remotely 'off'." Spike scoffed in return. "But I like your edge."_

_ "Thank God. Since _you_ bring it out in me." _

_ "Stop, my ego's goin' through the roof." He smiled over his shoulder and she reached forward to lightly stroke his bare arm._

* * *

><p><em> Once home, they scrambled inside, Buffy not even bothering to put on her shoes, merely swinging them at her side as they ran with their supernatural speed. Within ten seconds of parking, they were inside, upstairs, doors locked and curtains drawn.<em>

_ "I want you so much." She whispered, tearing his shirt off over his head._

_ "Been cravin' you all day, even asleep." Spike yanked his boots off, and then skimmed his hands up her dress, catching the soft clinging fabric and whisking it over her head and flung it onto the floor. As soon as her breasts were bare he latched onto a nipple hungrily. "Can I convince you never to wear a bra again, Pet?"_

_ "No. But you can take full advantage of it when I'm in that." Her hands fumbled with his jeans and finally managed to get them off while writhing backwards from his loving ministrations on both excited breasts._

_ "Where're you knickers?" Spike ran a hand down to her soaking cleft and met no obstruction. _

_ "Already in your back pocket."_

_ "Oh that's right." They shared a mischievous smile. _

_ "Baby..." Buffy wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and they began to stumble backwards, to their bed. _

_ They paused eyes locking first, and then skating over one another, admiring every inch. _

She's so gorgeous. She doesn't get as much sun now, no California climate. Not so gold and tan, she's peaches and honey. And twice as succulent as both combined... She's so beautiful naked, and wearing nothing but that little black velvet piece round her neck...makes the contrast of her skin just cry to me. Begging to be touched, freed, right under that slender strip of fabric.

He's ivory. He's cream and he's marble, so hard... so hard._ Buffy let out a whimper and clutched at him, hands digging into his jaw as they went into a hungry kiss. _Hard and muscled everywhere so strong and all for me. Mine-_ her fingers dragged over the thick black band of leather wrapped perfectly between chin and shoulders. _Oh God, it makes him even hotter.

She's got nothin' on her but me._ My_ claim, _my_ rings, _my_ collar. Nothing between those perky little tits and her lips but this soft, little black band..._ His hands rose and fell up her back, chest, and shoulders, tracing desperately between breasts and mouth. _Could hook my finger under it and pull her lips right to mine and keep her there forever... _Spike out a long controlled breath through his nose, trying not to get carried away. _It's only a necklace, it's not a collar, I could never,ever try to leash someone like my Slayer., and damned it I'd even want to. It's just the comments those people at the bar made..._ She whimpered again, more needy than ever._

_ He asked softly, "Does this make you feel- like you- does this make you worry? Feel confined or anything?" T_he last time we tried to show some trust, I did it wrong. Made her feel like she needed a safe word, an' I only wanted to show her she could trust me. God, please don't let me make the same stupid mistakes twice, I just love her, just can't help feel something a little bit possessive when I think she's all mine, like this.

_ She looked up at him with luminous eyes. "No. No, I don't feel confined." She stood on tiptoes and pressed her forehead to his. "Haven't I shown you a million times I trust you?" He nodded, and she swallowed. Of course her necklace was just a necklace, obviously. But his- no, it did look more fetish-y, and that wasn't them. Not really. She tapped his neck. "Spike. Does this make you feel- less than me? 'Cause you're not. I don't own you, I didn't mean to make it sound-" She trailed off. Stupid bar people and stupid thoughts in her stupid head._

_ "No! I'm not beneath you, we belong to one another." He touched her hand to his claim, his wedding ring. "Precious. Whatever anyone else says, or however else we want to think about it- you own my heart, an' soul, my life an' death. Made the vows one year ago tonight. You do _own _me."_

_ "But you also own me." She breathed, touching his hand to herself, mirroring the spots he had just touched. "I made the same vows, and you _own_ me._

_ "You don't have to say that." He whispered, trying to deny how turned on it made him feel. _I could claim her, I could love her. Could anyone ever _own_ her?

_ Apparently. She was fierce in her restatement. "I _want _to say it. I love that I belong to someone. That you belong to me." She let them lose their balance and they crashed onto the bed, legs instantly parting for him, but he didn't pounce. "I'm serious. Spike, I never belonged to anyone, and I don't ever want to be anyone's but yours. It's obvious that I'm supposed to be yours. And you're mine." She pressed a fingertip to the hollow over his unbeating heart. "It's a whole different type of wedding vow thing-y. It's an anniversary vow." Her eyes sparkled and they exchanged a serious nod. _

_ Momentarily, their lips curled in twin smiles, the serious attitude still there, but fading in the wake of how close they were, how much the lust was fueling them. He ran his fingers across her satin stomach, and she let her hand slide from his chest to his hardness. "An anniversary vow, hmm?" He whispered. She nodded, a tiny chuckle escaping. "I, Spike, own you, Buffy?" He joked, but he couldn't deny how much harder he suddenly felt._

_ And with her hand wrapped around him, he couldn't deny it to her, either. "Say it again." She whispered. _

_ "Luv, I was only -"_

_ "Say it again, please. Be more serious." She turned her haunting green eyes to his. "You need to to mean it. I'm taking it seriously, Spike." _

_ He tried to explain. "No one can own you, Pet, you're always a free spirit, a fighter. I love that about you."_

_ "I'm not saying you'll tame me, or control me. I'm saying you'll own me- and I'll own you. That you're mine. I'm yours." Her voice thickened. "Don't you know how much I want that?" _

_ "Yeah, Precious, I understand, I want it just as badly." He pulled her up to his chest, her legs winding around his waist, locking their hips into position, sliding on each other but not yet in each other. Claim words. She _would_ have to use claim words, made him go all flustered and addled..._

Shit, I used claim words. I can't even think straight when I think them, and I said them out loud, when we're all naked and slippery together... _She hooked her fingers gently under his collar- "I, Buffy, own you Spike. And I belong to you." _

_ He lightly traced the velvet all around her neck and she gave a happy twitch. "I, Spike, own you, Buffy. And I belong to you." He slid solidly inside her, making them both shudder at the sensation. With one deft hand he reached back and unhooked her clasp, pulling the necklace away and tossing it on the pillow above them. She looked surprised, but did the same thing, snapping his off and tossing it onto the floor into the pile of his clothes. _

_ "Why?" She whispered._

_ He grinned "If I'm going to enjoy our new husband and wife "ownership", you can bet I'm going to be throwing in a lot of vampire ownership as well." He fondled her claim. "Don't want anything in the way of it."_

_ "That's a good point." Buffy embraced his throat with her mouth, a soft open mouth kiss, letting her tongue lave the small scars she had marked him with. "You know the only thing either of us ever really wanted?"_

_ "Love." He felt happiness course through him. I am loved. She is loved. An' neither of us'll ever have to be on our own again._

_ "Love." She agreed. "True, but also, to belong. To fit in."_

_ "And we don't." He reminded her gently._

_ "No, we don't. But the wonderful thing its, the reason we can live normally, or at least on the edge of reality, the reason we're so happy...?" She trailed off, swallowing a moan._

_ He waited until he could fight back his own grunt of passion and met her eyes. My girl. One year later, in all the supernatural, in all the normal, and she's still my girl. "Yeah, Luv. I know why."_

_ They whispered together, before their lips crushed into one another, "We belong together."_


	6. Chapter 6

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_A short little snippet into Xander and Spike's slowly developing camaraderie. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and Arshes13._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part VI

(Where it goes: After part XXIII of Starting Over)

_ "I'll be back in a bit, Luv." Spike whispered into Buffy's ear._

_ "Can you pick me up a new brain? I don't like my current one." Buffy poked her college math book savagely and pouted into her husband's blue eyes._

_ "Can't Red help you with that, Pet?"_

_ "Willow could do this with her eyes shut. This is basic, simple, a general education- take it if you ever want to graduate-requirement." She put her head down with a moan. "It's just so- math-ish. All number-y."_

_ "There's only this one math course, right?" Spike rubbed her neck. _

_ "Unless I decide to pursue something other than my wimpy 'Liberal Arts' degree."_

_ "Nothin' wimpy about it." His grip tightened. He didn't like hearing her put her work down, even if it was of the book variety._

_ "It's your basic fill in the blank degree. You can take it and do lots with it. But I'm planning to just put it on my 'Things I Accomplished List'. Saved the world, got married, became sort of immortal-y, and got my degree."_

_ "Nice full list, Luv. You're the Slayer, and no one can ever offer a degree in that. Proud of your list." He squeezed her shoulder. "Now I'm off to add to my 'list'. Got my degree, saved the world, got married- an' managin' not to kill Xander for one solid year of trainin' sessions."_

_ "That's why you're my hero." She winked._

_ "Of all the things I could be her hero for, an' that's the one she picks..." He sighed to the ceiling. With one more kiss and a rueful smile, Spike wrapped his duster around him and scurried to his car, not wanting to walk in the afternoon sun, even though it was only a few moments away. _

_ That's the trouble with being on the "normal side", he thought, parking in front of Giles' house and darting inside. _Neighbors. People will actually notice if Mr. Summers over in Spruce Court routinely gets a bit singed when he goes out in the afternoon. Now everyone just thinks I'm bone idle and can't be bothered to walk the two minutes from my place to his. Neighbors. Welcome to normal.

_ "Hullo, Rupes." Spike shook off his duster and hung it up._

_ "Spike." Giles waved at him perfunctorily, the rest of his attention divided between a phone call and a large scroll. "Yes. Yes, Daphne, I can try to photo copy it. It's just the scroll is so fragile... oh, a hand scanner. We should get one of those. Spike, could you look in to acquiring-"_

_ "Not my department, Watcher, tell Red or Dawn." Spike waved him off with a cheeky smile and headed upstairs to the converted bedroom that was now a training room._

_ "One-eye." Spike greeted Xander._

_ "Bleach." Xander returned, just as coolly. "Let's go."_

_ "Don't you wanna warm up?" Spike took off his boots and socks, prowling barefoot on the thing blue mats that covered most of the floor._

_ "I'm warmed up. How about you?" Xander swung his arms and began to bounce on the balls of his feet._

_ "I'm never warmed up, but I'm still gonna kick your ass." Spike grinned._

_ "Like to see you try." Xander retorted, but both men knew it wasn't much of a contest, not unless Spike held back. Which he always did._

_ "On three. One -"_

_ Xander lunged first and shouldered Spike hard in the ribs. "What? You think only you get to use that trick?"_

_ "You want fangs in your neck?" Spike shoved him off and into the wall, also lined with mats. "You shoulder me and stay with your head bowed, neck bared like that, you're gonna lose a couple pints. Look up faster!"_

_ "Like this?" Xander dove in hard, and pulled back before Spike could latch onto him. Of course- Xander knew that was because Spike was moving at human speeds, not vampire speeds._

_ "Better." Spike admitted grudgingly. _

_ They worked on hand to hand for awhile, Spike never tiring, Xander able to go a little bit longer each session. Soon they moved on to weapons, which Spike felt were a waste of time. Not to mention the pointed wooden ones were a health hazard he'd as soon as keep away from, but which the boy needed because he was at a considerable disadvantage in this game. A disadvantage that was coming closer and closer to getting him killed..._

_ "God dammit! Good sweet Christ." Xander dropped to the floor, clutching his stinging arm. He was yelling more at himself than his opponent. That wasn't a difficult maneuver, he just hadn't seen it coming. Literally._

_ "Fuck it." Spike dropped to his knees, tossing the rapier away. It had its plastic safety tip on, but the edges were still unguarded. "I'm sorry." He genuinely was. Boy was no slouch, he tried hard. And he'd been trying harder lately, ever since the group got back from England. Whatever he and Willow had done while they were left on their own for ten days must have helped him get back to the land of the livin'. The Bricklayer was starting to act like he had somethin' to live for, not just survive for._

_ "Not your fault. " Xander sat up and looked at his left arm. "It's only a scrape. Don't go eyeing me up like I'm yummy kibbles, okay?"_

_ "Sorry, mate, you aren't my flavor." Spike stood and rummaged on the top shelf of the few erected in the corner, pushing away weapons and protective items to the bulk stock of first aid supplies. "Gauze, tape, antibiotic ointment- you want something for pain?"_

_ "Yeah." Xander stood up, and yanked Spike around to face him._

_ "Hey!" Spike roughly smacked his hands off and shoved him a few feet back. Xander lost his footing but regained his balance and advanced again. _

_ "I want someone to stop treating me like I'm half a person, because I'm down an eyeball. I want someone to train me like I'm capable of fighting and actually holding my own."_

_ Spike blinked. "Meant some aspirin. Pain pills."_

_ "Yeah, well that won't make the pain stop." Xander spat. "You train with me. Giles trains with me. Buff does it. Everyone trains with me- how to stay alive. I get that. Train me to kill."_

_ "We are not doin' this action flick thing." Spike scoffed._

_ "Fine. Whatever." Xander grabbed the gauze and stalked off to the corner._

_ "You want some help?" Spike offered grudgingly._

_ "No." Xander turned from him completely._

_ Stupid soul... "Look, mate, why the sudden dramatics?"_

_ "It's not stupid. Buffy takes it easy on me, Giles does. You do."_

_ "Yeah, well, I have to or you'd get killed. Vampire. Claimed vampire, in fact, and claimed by the best slayer ever. So think of me like part Slayer as well. I'd break your arm like a twig if I put all my weight into a punch."_

_ Xander remained silent, doing a fairly decent job of patching himself up with one hand and his teeth. "Fine. You're all suped up." He said finally. "That's great."_

_ "Why don't you give Buffy this speech?" Spike asked uncomfortably._

_ "Because she loves me. Giles, too. You don't. If you'd get your head out of your ass for five minutes you'd realize that they never got past the missing eye thing. Especially Buffy, she blames herself."_

_ "Not sayin' I love you, you pillock, but I'm not your enemy anymore. I actually haven't been for a few years now." Spike tried to explain. He spent part of nearly every day or night with this boy. He'd grown on him. Like a fungus, but still... he wasn't wishin' him ill will at the moment._

_ "Whoopee." Xander finished his first aid job and crossed the hall to the bathroom to wash his hand and throw out bloodstained cotton._

_ "What's your deal, then?"_

_ "You'd train me without worrying about me. Like they do, anyway. You could train me like you don't care what happens, like you're teaching me to survive a fight and put the big hurt on. You've got a century of experience at being the big bad. You know how to compensate for-" Xander brushed his patch with a cold smile, "deficiencies."_

_ "That's true..." Spike pondered. Train him to work with what he's got, instead of worrying so much about what he doesn't have anymore. "Hate to admit it, Jolly Roger, but you've got a point." Still, if he really went at him- there'd be some injuries at first until the boy learned to move a little better. "It's just not an easy thing, y'know?"_

_ "If I had been a faster learner, if I had been able to fight in spite of my disability, maybe I would've gone with Anya. Maybe she'd still be alive." Xander looked at Spike, his one eye burning into him with such venom that Spike recoiled. He'd seen that look a few times before. Only in conjunction with Anya or Willow. The young man loved Buffy, but those two women owned some piece of him that pulled a completely different set of strings. _

_ "You can't know that, Xander." Spike muttered quietly. It was a sign that all joking was done. Spike rarely called him his full given name. "You- neither of us- will ever know if we could have done somethin' different." He'd blamed himself, he _still _blamed himself, that Buffy had been sacrificed for Dawn. He understood more about Xander in one minute than he'd understood in a year of their new, odd, relationship. "Xander, you honestly can't know, mate."_

_ "Nope. Never will." He smiled, a bitter, twisted grimace. "But I'll tell you what I do know, Spike. When I patrol with Willow, she won't ever have a reason to think I can't protect her."_

_ Spike listened to the roar of blood, and sniffed, a different scent overwhelming the room. Adrenaline. Hormones. Something else very faint and as yet untraceable. _

_ He thought for a second about reminding Xander that Willow was more powerful in different ways that any of them would ever be. If she went dark, she could prob'ly wipe New York off the map with a snap of her slender fingers. Hell, if she sneezed on a bad day, there went Pine Ridge. But that doesn't matter when you feel like you need to be able to protect someone. He knew Buffy could handle any beastie, and furthermore knew that she was near immortal. Didn't he get all snarly and possessively protective anyway? It's nature. It's...love?_

_ "So? Are you gonna do this?" Xander threw down a final challenge._

_ Spike nodded, and Xander nodded in return. There was only a slight settling of the one-eyed man's shoulders to tip Spike off about how tense he'd been waiting for him to reply._

_ "You're weaker on your left now." Spike said flatly.  
><em>

_ "And a big cigar for Captain Obvious." Xander clapped sarcastically._

_ "So we're gonna start by kickin' the crap out of you, an' all attacks are gonna come on the left until you bloody well learn to use your stupid cloth ears an' your puny human sense of touch to learn to anticipate and defend. Then you're gonna start layin' the hurt on your attacker- namely me- an' it's all gonna come from the left, until you can beat the shit outta any nasty, right side, left side, one eye or blind." Spike snarled and then vamped. Xander didn't even flinch._

_ "That's what I want." He sounded perfectly accepting, even eager._

_ Spike's face reverted. "I don't like this you know. Bein' your personal sensai or your Yoda, whatever." He shuddered. "We might get all- respectful. Male bondin' an' it'll turn into some odd friendship."_

_ "No chance in hell. You're just a scumbag who has the moves." Xander laughed._

_ Spike grinned in relief. "Right then. Oh, an' for the record- I'm not doin' this for any of the reasons you said." Spike lied flawlessly and watched the man's face sag, and then hardened into indifference. The brunette shrugged. "I'm only doin' it 'cause if you die, Buffy'll stake me."_

_ Xander's face split into a grin. "That's cool. I'm only listening to you because if I don't, Willow'd probably kill me."_

_ "Women."_

_ "Women." Xander shook his head ruefully, and raised his left arm to block a blow he knew was coming._


	7. Chapter 7

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for Hannah the Bloody, who has a thing for Queen and all things musical- even badly done all things musical. Happy ensemble fluff!_

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper,Tiffany0314, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. Several references are made to songs by Queen, and elements of Rocky Horror Picture Show in this chapter._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part VII

(Where it goes: In the midst of XXIV of Starting Over)

_"What the hell is that?" Spike watched Xander haul a large cardboard box into the Summers' living room._

_ "It's so cool! My birthday party is going to rock. But you can use it, too." Dawn bounced in behind Xander._

_ "Delighted, Bit, but still- what the hell is it, aside from 'so cool'?" Spike left his car manual open on the counter and shut the front door, following the pair._

_ "It's heavy and awkward, Dawnie, so where do you want it?" Xander demanded. Dawn pointed to the corner nearest the television and he set it down in relief._

_ "What's in the box, guys?" Buffy bounded down the stairs in jeans and a tank top._

_ "The Ark of the Covenant, apparently. It's a closely guarded secret." Spike grumbled._

_ "It's a karaoke machine!" Dawn squealed. Her girlish exclamation of excitement changed to one of dismay when Spike grabbed her, spun her around and pressed his hands to her face, feeling cheeks, forehead, and the back of her neck in quick succession. "I love you, too?" Dawn hazarded, scanning his face in confusion._

_ "You don't feel feverish." Spike mumbled to himself as he released her._

_ "A karaoke machine? No, no, no. _Buffy _doesn't _sing_. Singing plus Buffy equals _bad_." Buffy backed away from the box nervously, as thought notes would fly out and cram into her throat._

_ "You can put any song you want into it! It's really cool and it was thirty percent off." Dawn said winningly._

_ "Oh. Oh, thank God." Spike hugged her tightly. "I was afraid I'd lost my Bit into the world of boy bands."_

_ "Pfft." Dawn shook her head. "Would I do that to you?"_

_ "Yes." He teased and they shared a grin._

_ "You better let me pick some stuff out, too. I was the muscle for this job." Xander weighed in._

_ "We can have everyone over tomorrow to break it in." Dawn began tearing into the box, fishing for the instructions._

_ "No, tomorrow is poker night." Spike said firmly._

_ "I think this is written in Japanese." Dawn ignored him, looking at the pamphlet._

_ "Instructions are for wimps." Xander peered over her shoulder._

_ "No instructions needed! Not in use." Spike protested, also moving behind Dawn._

_ "Do you remember what happened with the dust buster, Mr. Instructions Are For Wimps?" Dawn pulled the paper protectively to her chest._

_ "Oh, that was funny. Except when the filter exploded." Buffy watched the conversation with amusement, perching on the arm of the sofa and now chewing an apple._

_ "I'll ask Giles to help me translate."_

_ "Or you could turn it over." Xander pointed out. Dawn flipped it and revealed the English side. _

_ "Smarty pants." She mumbled and began eagerly reading._

* * *

><p><em> "The game!" Spike growled. <em>

_ "Give it up, Spike." Buffy came up behind him and rubbed his back._

"Give me the phone." Essie hopped excitedly next to Jim. "Gimme the phone, Jimmy!"

"Patrick, your 'eldest' wants to speak to you."

"Pass me over." Pat laughed.

"I miss you, I miss you, I miss you! When are you coming here, you crazy British dad-guy?"

"Oh- in about- thirty six hours. Give or take."

"What?" Essie squealed and bounced up onto the counter, dislodging Mist who mewled in protest.

"I've got to get back fairly quickly, but I have a four day filming break in my schedule back home. Doing a few episodes on a sit com an' then back to the stage. So I thought I'd pop over."

"You're staying with us, right?"

"I could, if you'd like."

"Bring the girls and your wife?"

"I can't Luv, she's busy bein' a mum, runnin' the kids to school an' workin' on a musical."

"Who is it? Who is it?" Sul came up from the basement, guitar slung on his back, Stripes slung over his front.

"The third member of our trio." Jimmy smirked and his son's face broke into a wide smile.

"Is he coming to visit?"

"Pick me up from the airport, luv?"

"What time do you get in?" Ess gave a thumbs up to her stepson.

She and Pat exchanged some information and then she passed him to the child. Patrick must have been asking about music, because Sul began speaking mostly in song titles and chords.

"He'll be here for two and a half days, give or take. It's short notice, but do you think we can get everyone together?"

"We can try. But let's keep it low key. Jet lag." Jimmy shook his head as the phone made its way back to him. "Right. Low key. I'm kidding myself." He imagined the combination of Max, Pat, Ashley, and Essie. Even if they kept it to just those four (not that they would), since they were the closest friends, a simple "come for dinner" could turn into a full out bacchanal.

"You are, but it's a totally sweet thought." She hugged his waist, and then picked up her cell phone, off to start calling the "lifers".

* * *

><p><em> "No... no, you use this pad to work the screen. This panel works the sound." Dawn and Willow worked over the karaoke machine. "See? Okay, here's menu..."<em>

_ "For Christ's sake, would you lot leave that alone? Bit, if you wanna patrol, you need to hustle."_

_ "I'm hustling!" Dawn didn't move, and neither did Willow._

_ "Spike? Is Giles there yet?" Buffy called from upstairs._

_ "Not yet." He hollered back._

_ "Who're you yelling at then?"_

_ "Who do you think? Ms. Goodwrench an' her musical assistant."_

_ "Aww, Spike. Are you still mad about the poker game?" Dawn left Willow's side and went to her brother-in-law._

_ "Yes! It's taken me this long to get poker night established, an' you're ruinin' it."_

_ "Only this one time." She wheedled, making doe eyes at him. "We'll put in Sex Pistols, the Clash, Ramones, Nirvana..." She tempted._

_ "Queen? Iggy Pop?" He felt himself slowly becoming less surly._

_ "I bet you and Buffy could do a duet. Or we could! We so totally could!" She suddenly got very excited by the prospect and gave one of her patented squeals. "Willow! What are you gonna sing?"_

_ "Me? Sing? I don't sing." Willow looked as if someone had just asked her to give a speech to the United Nations, not sing in front of her five family members._

_ "It's got a lip-synch mode." Dawn comforted. "Until you get brave enough."_

_ "Or hammered enough." Spike suggested with a sudden flash of a wicked grin. Maybe with enough alcohol and the right music, the night wouldn't be so bad._

* * *

><p>"That is so not enough alcohol." Essie watched Jim return from the liquor store. She and Anita had just finished putting one of the guest bedrooms in order for Patrick.<p>

"We only get him for a couple days, I'd like him somewhat lucid." They both laughed. "We'll still have fun. We could- what could we do?" He blanked when trying to come up with a specific activity that would fit their group of friends. Usually everything just flowed. Trying to think of something in particular just seemed to force it.

"Well all of you guys are gonna get out the guitars. Oh, Sammy is coming, but some of the others can't. He can use one of the spares, right?"

"Sure." Jim smiled. "And as long as we play some Grateful Dead, Daniel will be happy. Oh- is Gwenn coming?"

"She is." Essie waved goodbye to Anita and hugged her husband. "I know what we could do at the party..." She fluttered her lashes at him.

"I don't share." He teased and got smacked for it. "What?"

"We can play Improv."

"Oh, honey, that's-"

"It's fun!"

"It's acting! That's all they do, all day, everyday, act or acting related stuff." He kissed her to conclude the argument, and then moved, emptying the brown bags he'd arrive home with.

"But we don't get to act together anymore." Essie sniffled.

James knew he'd lost. "Dan and I are going to be dead. I'm just warning you."

"I'll revive you." She nibbled his Adam's apple.

"Daaa-aaad! Can you quiz me on spelling words?" Sul shouted up from the basement.

The husband and wife exchanged a sigh. "Revive later?"

"Oh, yeah." Ess swatted his toned cheeks lightly and watched him trudge up the stairs. _That is one good guy..._

* * *

><p><em>"No, see poker, booze, an' loud music work for bad guys. Booze an' loud <em>karaoke _do not." Spike was making his eleventh hour protests to his wife, who calmly disregarded him and scanned the delivery menu. "Buffy, you're not listenin'!"_

_ "Do you want General Tso's or Sesame chicken?" She asked placidly._

_ "General Tso's. Extra peppers." Spike sulked._

_ "And as for the music thingy- you're not a bad guy anymore. So give it up."_

_ "I am!" He huffed._

_ "You're a good guy with a bad attitude, and I love you. And if you let Dawn do this you will make her so happy, and then once she's used it, she'll put it away in a box and never look at it again." Buffy looked at him with a wink._

_ "Ooooh. You're devious. I like that about you." He squeezed her into the kitchen corner, making her titter softly as she tried to dial Dragon Chef Take- Out._

_ "No groping in the food preparation area." Xander let himself in, bags of tortilla chips and bottles of soda dangling from his hand._

_ "I'm gropin' my wife, an' while she is tasty, I'd hardly call her a food-"_

_ "SPIKE!" Buffy shouted violently. "Oh! Oh, no, I'm sorry, yes, delivery please." She hurriedly apologized into the phone. "We'd like one order- sorry, make that _two_ orders of General Tso's chicken, one with extra peppers..." She glared at Spike and Xander, waved to Willow, and then resolutely turned away, concentrating on giving the complex order for six to the restaurant. _

_ A short time later Spike shouted up the steps "Food's here!"_

_ "What'd we get?" Dawn bounded down the stairs, CDs flying and song sheets clutched in her hands._

_ "You got dumplings and two spring rolls, Willow, your General Tso's is the one without the skull an' cross bones- aww, that's sweet, they must know me there now- an' let's see- who got shrimp in lobster sauce?"_

_ "I did." Xander rolled his eye heavenward. As if they couldn't all order for each other blindfolded and upside down in a barrel of honey by now. Well, with some variations. He didn't _always_ get this, so he supposed he wouldn't goad Bleach Boy more than with an eye roll. "Giles, here's your Szechuan chicken and your eggroll..." He helped Spike unpack the meal._

_ "Paper plates!" Buffy didn't feel like doing dishes or asking anyone else to, so she opted for the easy clean up route._

_ "Eat fast! There's karaoke stuff to break in!" Dawn insisted, half a dumpling wedged in her cheek._

_ "I'm not doing this!"_

_ "I can't sing, Dawnie!"_

_ "Really, Dear, it isn't my style."_

_ Dawn ignored the protests from Buffy and Spike, who'd spoken as one, Willow, and Giles. She didn't have the pout, she had the big, wide eyes routine. She silently fixed this pleading, doe-eyed stare on her four objection-raising family members, and watched them cave._

_ "Ohhh. Hell. Alright, but I'm gettin' sloshed first." Spike stomped off towards the drinks cabinet and took an entire bottle of Scotch, paused, and pulled out a second. _

_ "I'll be back. If I'm going to sing, I'm getting my guitar." Giles sighed heavily and took his eggroll with him as he trotted up to his place._

_ Willow and Buffy remained stubbornly still and resolute. Willow was one degree away from putting on her "resolve face". "Spike, pour Willow a small one." Xander came up and took a shot glass from Spike's outstretched hand._

_ "Xan!"_

_ "C'mon, Honey." Buffy and Spike exchanged a look at the tone Xander used. "I'll sing with you."_

_ "I-I will, too!" Dawn stammered in her eagerness. "We can find something by Heart!" _

_ "Jesus H. Christ." Spike downed one shot and started another. "Here, Luv-" he offered Buffy a sip before he tossed it back. _

_ "No. I- no hard stuff." Buffy blushed. Except from one or two glasses of decent wine or a beer under Spike's careful guidance, Buffy and alcohol should not mix. _

_ "C'mon, Precious, give you courage..." He wheedled._

_ "I do not sing- except in demonically induced musical numbers." She blushed harder._

_ "You can face the armies of hell, but you won't sing in front of five people who would willingly cut out their hearts for you?" Xander laid on the guilt._

_ "Heart cutting out?- grossness. But, the sentiment? Yeah, okay. I'm a wimp." Buffy sighed heavily. "And a stupid-head." She collapsed onto the couch in defeat and limply reached for her chopsticks. "If you all go deaf- not my fault."_

_ "I'll sing with you." Spike drank his third shot with a slightly amused expression. It took a lot of alcohol to affect him, but he was starting to feel like this might be fun after all._

* * *

><p>"It'll be fun!" Essie held out a baseball cap and bounced between Pat and Ashley.<p>

"Only if there's dirty scenes." Patrick said facetiously.

"We can all write a scene of our choice and put it in. One round."

"If Patrick and I might even possibly act together- we need to wait until Sulster goes to bed." Gwenn blew a raspberry on the back of Sully's neck as he teased Mist and Stripes with a piece of string.

"Why, Aunt Gwenn?"

"I love when he calls me that!" She gushed to Monica who stood beside them. "Because, Sweetie, Uncle Pat and I used to act in a musical together, and there was lots of-" She looked at Patrick and winked "_hugging_."

"But actor hugging is different than real hugging." Sul had had this drilled into him repeatedly in the last few months. "Like Essie and Dad. Real fighting and actor fighting is different, too."

"And I've got my own ladylove at home, Sullivan." Patrick ruffled his hair tiredly on the way to the kitchen to retrieve another sandwich. "But Auntie Gwenn and I are very comfortable with each other."

"Happens when you constantly see a guy in a corset and fishnets." The curvy blonde hissed to Monica, and Max as he joined them.

"Oh, God...Bad images." Max winced.

"You know he looks totally hot." Monica chided.

"What's a corset?" Sul piped up.

Jim's' head whipped from its bent position and he stopped replacing a string on Sully's guitar. Essie's eyes narrowed dangerously, but Jimmy was the one who spoke first. "Alright...who do I kill for that?"

Sully, Monica, and Max pointed accusing fingers quickly at Gwenn.

"It's always the quiet ones." Ashley teased her former on-screen lover.

"The game can wait until later." Essie plucked Sully into her arms and led him into the kitchen. "Go get something to eat, Little Man."

Patrick came back in and pulled Sarah into his lap as he crashed to the couch. "Problems, Luv?"

"Gwenn was talking about your Rocky Horror wardrobe."

"If I have to explain not just what a corset is- but why you wore one- someone's _gettin' bit_." Jimmy growled, concluding in his best Spike voice.

"Bloody glad I'm not the one in trouble this time." Patrick hugged his surrogate daughter tightly and released her. "Go soothe down your man. He was more laid back before he fell for you, you know."

"No, I was more laid back before you guys started hanging with my kid." Jim could never stay mad for long and his comment was said with one of his rippling laughs that made everyone join in.

"Are we playing or what?" Sammy trooped in, with Jim's spin off co-stars following him, yawning heavily.

"We're ready. Sul!" Jimmy called.

"Spillage! We got it!" Ellie shouted back.

"Be right there!" Sul added.

"Okay, we'll take requests." Jim and Pat took their instruments in hand.

"Make it 'Touch of Grey' because I gotta go after this." Daniel said regretfully.

"Ohhh." Essie fixed him with pleading eyes.

"The little guy's not feeling great and I'm beat." He explained, sinking to the floor, resting a paper plate on his knee. He absently fed Mist a piece of tomato as he curled around that tall actor's legs.

"We'll play for you first. Wimp." Jim teased his co-star.

"I knew you picked the right one, Essie. Bleach has way more stamina than Tall, Dark, and Broody." Max teased.

"Children, behave." Ashley's boyfriend and fellow actor chided, settling next to his redheaded lover.

"You have to have sing, Dan, I don't know all the words." Jim started fumbling through the opening of the popular Grateful Dead song, paused, and tried again.

"If I sing, Max has to sing." He countered. "And how do you not know the words? It's only the best song ever."

Patrick snorted. "Isn't."

"Just play." Sam picked up his borrowed instrument and picked the opening out perfectly.

"Show off." Jimmy muttered.

"You wanted the song, now sing!" Ess motioned Daniel to begin.

* * *

><p><em>"It's your box, you start." Spike stared down Dawn.<em>

_ "I don't wanna go first!" Dawn protested, suddenly looking a little nervous._

_ "Bloody hell._ I _will start." Giles finished his glass of potent amber liquid and walked over to the machine, flipped through song titles like an expert and then put it on mute._

_ "How do you...?" Buffy, Xander, and Willow stared at Giles wonderingly._

_ "I haven't always restricted myself to coffee bars and poetry readings." He explained with a flicker of a smug smile. "Feel free to join in." He perched on the arm of the chair, guitar balanced on his knee._

_ Giles started strumming vigorously, eyes closed and head starting to bob. Spike and Dawn immediately seemed to recognize the tune. The others looked curious._

_ "Hey! I called Queen!" Spike muttered, but Giles ignored him with a sinister "I'm annoying you on purpose" smirk._

_ Willow's eyes went all soft and teen-crush as she surveyed the smart, sensitive musician. Xander elbowed her as Giles began to sing._

Get your party gown and get your pigtail down

And get your heart beatin' baby

Got my timin' right I got my act all tight

It's gotta be tonight, my little school babe

_Giles fixed Dawn with a bad boy stare. Clearly he hadn't gotten over her joking with her friends that he was her "older lover". He watched her flush and giggle and then swung around fixing Willow with the same stare, watching her get flustered as well. When he looked at Buffy his smile softened. She was swaying and tapping her foot to the hard beat he had set. _Good Lord, it's so nice to finally just let things go and play for a bit...

Your Momma says you don't

And your daddy says you won't

And I'm burnin' up inside

Ain't no way I'm gonna lose out this time

_Spike yanked Dawn into position to see the lyrics rolling across the screen. "C'mon, Bit. You can't let the dirty old man have all the fun."_

_ "Who are you calling old?" Giles glared at his "son-in-law" and resumed singing, not missing a beat the entire time._

Tie your mother down

Tie your mother down

Lock your daddy out of doors

I don't need him nosin' around

Tie your mother down

Tie your mother down

Give me all your love tonight

_The trio ended up giving a rousing rendition of the song, and it made them much looser. Xander was already loose to begin with, but he was used to clowning around. If anything, Willow and Buffy now looked more terrified than ever._

_ "What's the matter?" Giles fixed his girls with a curious frown, drinking deeply from a water bottle Dawn had fetched for him._

_ "You're like- rock star good!" Buffy cried. "That's what's wrong! You didn't even need the music in the background, you- Giles you _made_ the music!"_

_ "Sweetheart, I play an instrument. I can do that." He laughed. "But ask me to ice skate-" he trailed off and she nodded in understanding, "or hack into a government database-" he turned his glance to Willow, who tried not to look too proud of herself, "and watch me fail miserably. Injuries and jail time would also be likely."_

_ "Enough fap, what should _we _sing?" Spike and Dawn scrolled through songs, arguing constantly in a sarcastic undertone._

_ Willow sidled up to Buffy. "I think this is like trying on bathing suits."_

_ "Say what now?" Buffy looked at her in open puzzlement._

_ "I'd feel better if the guys weren't here." She hissed._

_ "Ohhh. Gotcha." She considered this. "You know, I think you have a point. Spike is so full of himself- in a good way- well- usually-" the best friends shared a knowing eye roll, " and Xander always makes a fool of himself- again in a totally of the good manner, and Giles is just- like- vocal god."_

_ "What about Dawnie?"_

_ "I have no idea. I think it might be a combo of helping save the world, hanging out with Spike way too much, and being in the drama club. But the girl has guts."_

_ "We got it!" Dawn needed Giles to help her undo the setting he'd put in place, but they soon took over. Spike reached down, just before the lyrics began scrolling, and cranked the volume. The Clash's "I Fought the Law" began blaring, and Spike took the lead, eyes closed, head banging, jumping in place. Dawn put her head close to his on the near constant refrain of "I fought the law, and the law won." and joined him, also jumping in place. Buffy watched them, beaming like her heart would burst, finding herself joining in on the choruses. _

_ "C'mere, Pet" He managed to call in one of the all too short breathing spaces. When she resisted, he dragged her up, and pushed her between himself and Dawn, causing her to bounce along with them by default. Between her sister's encouraging arm around her waist and Spike's penetrating "I would die for you, you can sing a chorus for me" stare, she allowed herself to sing along, a slow, self-conscious smile gracing her features._

* * *

><p>"Just play along." Ess lolled on her back in the living room.<p>

"Yeah, play along." Ashley encouraged, also sprawled out. It was after ten, and Sul had been tucked in, Sammy, Daniel, and Monica had left, and Patrick had taken a jet lag nap on the couch. Now the remaining handful were awake, and Essie still hadn't let go of playing Improv.

"We all studied theater in some organized form, we can do this." Gwenn plucked a scrap of paper off the coffee table and wrote down a scene. "Do we list how many people?"

"Yeah. Oh, and write gender." Jimmy glared at the mischievous blonde. "I really don't want to end up acting out a balcony scene with Maxey."

"And Maxey really has to get going soon." The brunette actor referred to himself. "The Mrs.'s script editing session should be done by now, and I's like to see her before she locks herself away with a bottle of tequila, a laptop, and a thesaurus." He kidded. Everyone gave him a sympathetic grin.

"There's only eight of us. Eight scenes shouldn't take too long to do. An hour tops." Ellie wrote furiously on a scrap of paper as well.

"Fine. I'm in." Pat sat up on the couch, somewhat unbalanced from several beers and disturbed sleep patterns, and cast a piece of paper into the hat as well.

Soon seven slips were in, and Essie drew first, since she had insisted on playing. "You wake up next to a total stranger in a compromising position in a - _movie theater_? Who the hell has the exhibitionist streak?" She giggled. "Two people- gender free for all."

"Don't pick Jimmy or this is going to get very dirty, very quickly." Ellie cautioned, also laughing.

"Hmmm. Just for that... Jimm-yyy." She crooked her finger at her husband and he fell onto the floor beside her, pulling her into a limb locked kiss.

"Eesh. I'm gonna go get the egg timer. There's a five minute limit for these scenes." Ashley nudged the kissing pair with her foot and Jim slapped her ankle.

"Timer hasn't started yet. Keep kissing me." His wife teased, and he obliged.

"Of course. Got your back." He winked.

* * *

><p><em> Willow hiccuped and leaned longingly against Xander, swaying with him, hand clasped around an imaginary microphone. "I got you, Babe" She sang, not too out of tune. <em>

_ Xander rejoined, "I got you, Babe." He sang with a lopsided smile, head sloppily resting on top of hers._

_ "They're so cute together." Dawn sighed._

_ "So sad." Giles murmured, half to himself. _

_ "It'll all work out." Dawn watched the best friends as they sang, more to one another than anything else, and smiled._

* * *

><p>"I got one that sooo clearly meant for Gwenn and Pat. Can I pass it?" Ashley pulled out her slip of paper, one of two left in the hat.<p>

"What is it?" Max asked.

"Wise up Janet Wiess. Boy and Girl." She squinted at the writing. "Essie, is this yours?"

"No! Or- yes. Oh, come on! I never got to see it in person!" She begged.

"Do you want me to go raid your underwear drawer? Because I seriously doubt either Gwenn or I would fit into your lingerie." Patrick laughed.

"Are you calling me fat?" Gwenn gaped at him.

"Voluptuous." Tony licked his lips, a very seductive, 'Dr. Frank' smile on his face. "Dammit, Janet, I love you..." He prowled up to her as he sang, seized her hands, and pulled her up laughing. "And yes, I know, wrong character."

"Is he calling me skinny?" Ess demanded, but playfully, of her husband.

"Never. You're not skinny, You're delectable. Bite-sized." Jimmy answered, lips nibbling her ear.

* * *

><p><em> "If Bit can do it, you can do it." Spike pulled Buffy up to the screen, ignoring her protests. <em>

_ "But what if I just don't _want _to do it?" She pouted stubbornly._

_ "You don't want to sing with your eternally bonded husband?" He locked her in a crystalline gaze, boyish charm rolling off of him._

_ "I want to sing with him when my sister isn't watching, mentally recording this event for future sibling torture." Buffy felt herself caving._

_ "I won't do that! I'm not a kid anymore! Well- not a total kid." Dawn laughed nervously, suddenly feeling like she might be just a little bit juvenile for caring about something so silly as a karaoke night. She probably should have been cool and played poker instead._

_ Spike continued to gaze at his partner, but now directed his unspoken thoughts to her. 'It won't be anythin' too mushy, Sweetlet. I'd sing you any love song in the world- in private. But in front of your mates here, let's find something kick ass and end this evening with a bang?'_

_ "You drive a hard bargain." Buffy sighed, winking at him to let him know his internal message had been heard through their bond. "Okay, tapping into my Spike knowledge..." She looked at the selections with him. "You wanted Queen?"_

_ "Not if you don't." He shrugged._

_ "Oooh! Ooooh!" Buffy suddenly pointed and grabbed his arm wildly. "This is us! This is so us, not just 'you and me' us, but 'everybody here' us!"_

_ "You're babbling like a gibbon in a sorcerer's circle." Giles commented dryly. _

_ "Everybody get up! Come on, everyone up!" _

_ "What are you on about?" Spike moved her fluttering hand from the screen and nodded approvingly. "Bloody good choice."_

_ "Well- takes one to know one." She winked and watched him puff up with pride._

_ "Wh-what are we singing now?' Willow gave her an owlish look, leaning heavily on Giles as she stood._

_ " 'We are the Champions'."_

_ "Oh, how droll." Giles sighed, secretly pleased._

_ "C'mon G-Man..."_

_ "_Don't-_"_

_ "-Call you that. I know, I know." Xander held up a warding hand._

_ "This is so us." Dawn crossed her arms and nodded triumphantly._

_ "Alright, I set it. It's counting us in." Spike put one arm around Buffy, and the other around Dawn, not caring if he looked an utter bloody fool, because tomorrow everyone would be able to tease someone else about something they'd done tonight. "You wanna lead us in, Watcher?"_

_ "I'd love to." Giles brought his reedy voice into a husk, mimicking the lead perfectly in timbre, if not in voice._

I've paid my dues -

Time after time

I've done my sentence

But committed no crime

And bad mistakes

I've made a few

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face

But I've come through

_ By now, they were all swaying together, for one reason or another. Willow and Xander were moving because Willow wasn't too steady on her feet, and he was holding her up. Giles was doing it because he naturally did it, he knew how to perform. Spike to feel the delicious curves of Buffy's hips pressing into him as she looked up at him with a shy, "look at me embarrassing myself" smile. Dawn was just reveling in the fact that she had the coolest family in the world, who would not only save her life, but would also hang out with her. A real family. There for you when it counts, and even when it doesn't._

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting, 'til the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions...of the world

_"That's us, Baby!"_

_ Xander's bellowing cheer startled them all and broke the line. He and Willow went down to the right, Giles pitched into Buffy on the left, and Spike tried to drag them both upright. He failed and the three toppled. Dawn didn't have a hope in hell and ended up at the bottom of a dogpile. _

_ "Spike?" She asked in an extremely muffled, squashed sounding voice._

_ "Yes, Niblet?" Spike sounded calm, and mildly irritated. _

_ "Get your elbows out of my ribs!"_

_ "I would love to, Bit, as soon as your sister gets her ass off my solar plexus."_

_ "Bad language." Buffy muttered and foisted Giles off of herself._

_ In a moment all of them were upright, if disheveled in appearance. _

_ "Well," Dawn beamed around the room. "The karaoke machine is broken in, now. Thanks, guys."_

_ "You're welcome, Dawnie." Everyone made some statement to that effect. _

_ "Can we do this again next week?" She asked eagerly._

_ "NO!" Buffy, Giles, and Willow cried. Dawn looked hurt and retreated a step._

_ "Maybe not next week, Niblet. And _never _on poker night. But sometime." Spike relented, cursing himself bitterly. The smiles Buffy and Bit gave him made it all worth it, though. _Ha. Eat your heart out, Wankers That Be. Savin' folks is good, but if you can live with 'em- that's what makes you a champion.


	8. Chapter 8

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for Lithium Reaper and Spirited Ghost- who love the Xander/ Willow chapters._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part VIII

(Where it goes: Before Part XXV of _Behind the Scenes_)

_Xander woke up and looked down at his best friend. She was wearing light blue pajamas with little black and white cats all over them. _She's so cute._ He lightly kissed her forehead and eased out of bed, stretching in his maroon sweats and finding his patch. He tiptoed off to the bathroom and found his half-awake mind going lazily in all directions._

I should sleep in, we had a long patrol... Should I go back to her bed, or mine? Did we get more milk? Was I picking up milk, or was she getting it? Will it seem like I'm pushing things if I go back to her room? Darn it, I forgot to order that book from the magic shop.

_ Xander hesitated in the hallway as he came back from the bathroom. He reluctantly decided to go to his room. His bed was made, and it stared at him, mocking him. He hadn't slept there in several days. Not that he was pushing the "physical comforting" envelope with Willow. They just usually ended up going to bed at the same time, and it seemed lately that just as they were about to part ways in the hallway, one of them would think of one more thing to talk about. Nothing sexual. Last night she had been the one who'd turned to him. He replayed the moment in his mind, a smile on his face as he sat in his strangely empty feeling room._

_ "Night, Wills."_

_ "Night, Xan. Oh- hey did you find a recipe? One cut out from a magazine?"_

_ "What am I supposed to be looking for? I mean I'll find one, but what am I supposed to be making?"_

_ "No! Silly, I mean, did you see one lying around? I cut one out. It was for homemade fudge."_

_ "Oooh, fudgie goodness. I didn't see it, but what's the occasion and will you make some for me?" He followed her into her room and sat on the edge of the bed. _

_ And that's what they'd been doing a lot of nights lately. He'd sit on her bed until he felt sleepy, or until she'd give him her half-pouting, big eyed stare, and he'd lie down. Sometimes he sprawled out, or just sacked down- sometimes he held her. "But it isn't for sex!" He told his cold bed harshly. "No, going to Willow's room for sex is different..." He muttered. _

_ The physical stuff happened after their night off. And maybe once or twice a week in addition. But that wasn't the casual conversation leading to them just chilling on the mattress, eventually falling asleep. No, it started downstairs, a look, a sudden lack of oxygen in the room, and both of them standing up at once, or in the case of coming home after dancing at Bacchus, never even sitting down, just plowing up the stairs, lips frantic and clothes fumbling off. If they were already home, they'd be all over each other, mounting the stairs more slowly, but the end result was the same- heavy, passionate, scared to start, more scared to stop, loving sex that left them shaking half the time, laughing the other half._

_ Which we should really stop... except I finally was responsible and I bought condoms, Xander thought as he got back off his bed, smoothing the cover absently. _There. You'd never know I was in here. Okay, where was I? Condoms. A ten pack. Maybe that was ambitious. Maybe that was presumptuous. Wills would tell me if I was being presumptuous, right? Maybe I shouldn't leave them in the drawer by my side of the bed. No, no, I don't have a side of the bed. I just mean the side I sleep on. But if I put them in here, or in the bathroom- then I have to stop everything, go get one, put it on...Why am I wigging? I'm going back to bed.

_ Xander crawled back in beside Willow. She fluttered her eyes open once, smiled in that half-asleep, "I'm not sure if this is real or a dream" way, and then sighed. Xander gave an answering sigh, and she fell back asleep almost instantly. After a moment, Xander cuddled down beside her warmth and fell asleep as well._

_ When he woke up, his eye focused blearily on the sight of Willow stepping out of a wet bath towel and into panties. She bent over slightly and he stared. He felt guilty because she wasn't really aware she had an audience, that he was awake. She also wasn't big on doing things with the lights on, and Xander had never really seen her most beautiful secrets. Not that he saw much now, but a flash of creamy cheeks parting to show something deep coral pink. He lay back and closed his eyes again, no more peeking. This was Willow. Willow's body didn't turn him on as much as it was the fact that it was Will, his sweetie, his bestest best friend forever, and they were physically acting out a much needed expression of love and release. She wasn't Anya, her body was just- a body._

_ The hell you say, his inner man countered. _You know you appreciate her tightness, her sweetness, her kisses, the feel of her skin. That whole attitude about her body not turning you on would have been okay if you kept it an occasional thing. You failed the 'occasional' test in a big, big way, buddy as soon as it got into a routine. You've thought her breasts were "nice". You've only seen them in dim, shadowy light, but you know they're more than just "nice". Admit it- she makes you hard- and the thought of seeing what you only feel is making you into a tripod.

_ "Xan? You up?"_

_ "Oh yeah." He rearranged the covers over his thighs, and sat up, trying to look innocent. "I mean, yeah. I'm up. Hi."_

_ "Hi." She gave him a bemused smile. "I've got class in an hour. Did you pick up milk?"_

_ "I forgot. Damn, I was even thinking about it this morning." He smacked his forehead lightly._

_ "It's okay. I'll see if Giles minds if I eat at his place."_

_ All the sudden, Xander didn't want her to leave. Something was starting to push its way to the surface and he wanted to keep her there for when whatever it was happened. "Or- I could make you grilled PB and J?"_

_ "Ooh, Xander cooking. Okay, you have a deal." Now dressed, and him now calmed, they walked downstairs. It was mid-morning, they'd had about seven hours of sleep, fixed as they were on a working nights schedule. "I'm _so_ looking forward to a night off." Willow packed her school bag as she sat at the small table, and Xander puttered in the kitchen. _

_ "Me, too, Wills." _Geez, I hope she doesn't think I mean for sex.

Oh shoot, I hope he didn't think I meant looking forward to sex. But I am... I am a bad, bad girl. It's Xander! I love him with all my heart, I can't start think about how it feels when I hold his arms and he ripples when his penis starts pushing inside me and oh God, I'm glad Spike's not here. I know he sniffs at Buffy, he can tell when she's wet. Does he do that to everyone? Is it something a vampire can control, or is it an etiquette thing or maybe it's instinct and-

_ "Earth to Willow! Strawberry or peach jelly?" Xander's face appeared inches from hers. "You okay, Witchy Woman?"_

_ "Peach please." Willow croaked and flushed guiltily._

She's so pretty when she blushes. Why is she blushing? Is she thinking about what happens after Bacchus?_ Xander nodded and licked his lips, turning back to the counter. The burrowing idea started surfacing. He'd like to make the whole night about them. The Bacchus was great, fun, relaxing, cheap- all things that were of the good. But a night just for him and Willow, where it was- about them- them as in intimate them- that was of the better. At least for one time, and see if they liked it._

_ "What are you doing today?" Willow asked._

_ "Huh? Oh. Uh, magic shop run. Gimme a list of stuff you need, and can you please make the list in two columns, one for personal use and one for professional use? Madge says Giles' is opening a tab for you."_

_ "Sweet!" Willow started scribbling furiously. _

_ "Then I'm going to train, and I need to help Giles research something about intersecting locus and ley lines. Oh, and I have Angel phone call duty." His voice sounded less than thrilled._

_ "Uh-oh?"_

_ "No, its just that Spike and I were talking, and we know Giles is a strong guy and he forgives a lot- but Angelus tortured him and killed Jenny. I know Giles tries to split Angel from Angelus in his mind, and God, so do I, but I decided to volunteer for phone duty so he didn't have to talk him as much."_

_ Willow looked up at him with shining eyes. "You're the best."_

_ "That's what the tee shirt you gave me for my birthday says." Xander teased. He wasn't wearing a shirt now, Willow noticed with a flash of appreciation. He stretched to retrieve a new jar of jelly from the top of the cupboard and Willow's eyes watched his abs flex for a second. "What are you doing today?"_

_ "Staring- I mean- class. And I have a research meeting- not the good research, research for an annoying group project at the campus library. Then I was thinking, I could just pick up Chinese for dinner? I mean, it's our night off, which half the time gets taken up with Dawn stuff, or emergency stuff, but tonight looks like it'll be quiet. I didn't think either of us would like to cook."_

_ "It's a good plan. Can I raise the ante?" _

_ "You gotta stop talking poker."_

_ "Can I sweeten the pot?"_

_ "That's still poker!" _

_ "Will, do you want to go out to dinner with me, someplace where the signature dish is not cheese fries?"_

_ "That'd be nice." Will smiled and nodded, her green eyes sparkling suddenly. "Where are we going?"_

_ Xander's first thought was that place Spike had taken Buffy for their anniversary, that posh place with swans in the pond and a stone terrace. But that was so obviously romantic. He didn't want romantic- exactly. He wanted- something that would make the time when they got home more special, less like two desperate people falling into bed and more like two people exploring each other, bonding, falling in- whoa, whoops. Stop at exploring and bonding. "Um. I hadn't gotten that far in my planning." Xander confessed._

_ "There was planning?" She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow._

_ "Of the 'I just said that, now I need to do something' variety." He chuckled and slid her grilled sandwich to her._

_ "Yeah, that's kind of our theme song. Well, _your_ theme song."_

_ "There's that Greek place? Kristos? Or Emilia's , the Italian place on 10th?"_

_ "Do you like Greek food?"_

_ "Does falafel on a stick at the pier count? Or tuna in a pita pocket? Because that's my whole Greek experience."_

_ Willow chewed and made a happy, "yummy" noise at him before answering. "Let's do Italian."_

_ "I'll even make reservations and not wear my jeans. Scratch that. I will wear _nice_ jeans."_

_ "Then I will wear a skirt. And lipstick."_

_ "Oooh, sexy thang." Xander teased. He made himself some pop tarts and coffee and then sat beside her. "Hey, Wills?"_

_ "Yeah?" She asked around a mouthful of peanut butter._

_ "You trust me, right? With- all of you?"_

_ She felt her cheeks redden, knowing what he was talking about. Her body. He knew her heart and soul were totally in his hands, her life and death, she wouldn't hesitate to give him charge of. "Sure. I mean- are we talking about...?"_

_ "About all of us." He ran his hand up her arm._

_ "Are you unhappy with what we're doing?" Her babbling took over before he could even respond. "Because I know it kinda didn't stop, and maybe it should've stopped, and I'm okay with just being non-sexual with you, I mean, not having, well, you know, _it_. O-or are you saying it isn't enough?"_

_ Xander tried not to laugh, and almost succeeded. One small snort of mirth escaped before he put his serious face back on. "None of the above. I just wanted you to know- I trust you. All of you with all of me."_

_ "Oh. Oh, well, duh I trust you with all of me." She smacked his elbow as she stood and rinsed her plate. "Don't scare me like that, Booger Brain."_

_ "Just for that- you don't get to share my appetizer tonight." He stuck his tongue out at her as he climbed the stairs to get dressed for the day._

* * *

><p><em> Spike lost his temper- which was never fully present to begin with during researchpen and paper tasks and stalked across the room to Xander. "Your brain is buggered up today. Gimme the phone. Hullo, Peaches? Yes, it's me."_

_ Xander let out a hiss of annoyance and handed Spike the notes he'd been trying to read to Angel. He didn't blame Spike for yanking the phone away though. His mind was not on his job. It was firmly on Willow. What would happen tonight? If he tried to make it more- for lack of a better word- romantic? He drifted off in a haze of fantasy._

_ "It says here that you've got two- hang on a mo'- 'two diagonally runnin' ley lines' and the coordinates put the locus line runnin' across at a ninety degree angle. That doesn't make sense, how can it run the same angle on both if they're diagonal, 'cause that'd make a corner, wouldn't it? Ninety degrees?" Spike paused and thumped his boots to the floor as he swung his legs off the stack of books under his heels. "Well how the bloody hell do I know, get your Watcher boy on it. Look, Forehead, I'm just the messenger. What? Oh, she's fine. Bit's fine. We're all fine, are we gonna go through the whole soddin' list of people we work with?"_

_ "Can I have the phone back?" Xander asked meekly. He could tell Angel and Spike were about to have another spectacular fail at maintaining civility. Spike snorted and passed him the phone. "Yeah, hi. Well, I kinda hate your guts, too, but I think he hates you more, so I'm your best option. Aww, sweet of you to say." Xander turned to Spike with a grin. "He says he hates you more than me, too." In spite of his anger, Spike chuckled and went upstairs to take out his frustration on a punching bag since Angel's face was unavailable._

* * *

><p><em> "Buffy! Buffy! You want a lift home?" Willow's group research meeting got finished quickly and she waited for Buffy outside of the English department.<em>

_ "Let me call Spike, make sure he doesn't drive out here to get me." Buffy agreed and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. As the girls walked across the campus in the fading sunlight, Buffy spoke in a loving whisper to Spike, and Willow's stomach did flip flops as she thought ahead a few hours._

I have a date. No, not a date. But it's a - a dinner out. Not "grabbing something in a box" dinner out, not even "nice restaurant but all of us together" out, it's just him and me. And then- when we get home..._ Her stomach gave another twist. _

_ It was different for Xander. He had a really nice body right now, and even scars and wounds looked like badges of honor. And as for- genitalia- men were all obvious. She'd never really seen him in the light, but she knew what he looked like. She could feel every vein and indentation. Even if she rarely touched him there because they were severely lacking in the need for foreplay. It was like someone pulled the plug and the pent up desire was there. They just fit together, they didn't even have to do more than hold one another. It wasn't fancy, but it was comfortable, and loving, and just so good._

_ "What are you doing tonight?" Buffy slipped her arm through Willow's with a smile._

_ "Huh?" She started._

_ "Tonight? Your night off? Plans? Zany madcap hijinks since you're free and it looks like Spike and I can handle everything?"_

_ "No. No zany. No madcap, certainly no hijinks." Willow shook her head assertively._

_ "Oh. No Bacchus?"_

_ "We-um- we think we'll try someplace new. Just get dinner, and then I have a research project to do." Willow hedged. Technically, it was all the truth. She just didn't plan on doing any research papers_ tonight_._

_ "Aw, poor Wills! Is it anything I can help with- and before you laugh in my face, let me remind you that I know I can't help you, Ms. Brainiac, but I like to offer." Willow squeezed the arm looped through hers and they laughed._

_ "I'm good. Actually, I'm better than good. It'll be nice to just relax and have dinner with Xan."_

_ "I'm so glad you two have each other." Buffy sighed._

_ "Yeah. Me, too." Willow let go of the butterflies. Whatever tonight would be like, it would be good. Maybe goofy, maybe awkward, maybe there'd be some shouting or crying, depending on what they talked about, if it was deep stuff or funny stuff. And it didn't really matter. It would be good- because it would just be them._

_"You sing that song one more time, an' I'm poking a stake through your windpipe. It was okay with the damned karaoke night, but leave off!" Spike's final blow in their sparring knocked Xander flat on his backside. "Thank bloody Christ. At least that shut you up."_

_ "You're just jealous that I can sing and still take you on. You're slowin' down, Pale." Xander whistled the refrain to "I Got You, Babe" once more, just to piss Spike off. "It's been fun, but it is my night off and I'm gonna go hit the shower and then paint the town red." Xander bounded down the stairs, tugging his work boots on as he went._

_ "_With _Red is more like it." Spike said with a smirk, once Xander was out of earshot. Poor sods. At least they have someone to go about with, even if it's not quite what they'd thought their lives would be like. Speaking of lives, the love of his ought to be home by now._

* * *

><p><em> "Will? You home?" Xander saw her car, but this was a perfectly normal question. His truck was parked out front as well, but he had been at Giles'. The hazards of having one "house" but three "homes". <em>

_ "Stay out of my room! I'm getting dressed! What time are we going to dinner?" Willow shouted from the second floor._

_ "Seven!" Xander replied, looking through the mail._

_ "It's way early! I'm going to be sitting around, all dressed up for an hour and half!" Willow cried in dismay._

_ "I can try to move it up." He offered, already pulling his cellphone out, walking slowly up the stairs._

_ "If you can't, no big deal. I'll just hold still." Her head popped around the door. He saw a black bra strap on a bare shoulder and his cock made a sudden standing ovation. "You're getting in the shower, right?"_

_ "Uh, yeah. Sweaty from training." _And now sweaty because I'm picturing you in black bra and panties, going down on me and oh God, that's- that's not okay! Willow is my friend, I can't want her to wrap her beautiful little rosebud mouth around me and -wait, I was supposed to be getting indignant.

_ "Can I get my hair spray and eyeliner out of there first? I'll finish up in the powder room."_

_ "Sure." He smiled and headed swiftly to his room. Once he wasn't looking at her, the thoughts would ease up, right? Wrong. Wasn't that what he wanted? To love her more intimately? To take time and enjoy themselves more fully? "Going down on" was not the way he had ever thought of it, and he threw the term out immediately. If they ever wanted to do that, they'd make it loving, and gentle, and mutual. No "going down". More like "tasting, caressing with the mouth." Yeah. _

_ Xander found a soft blue denim button down shirt and jeans without holes, indelible demon stains or torn cuffs. He wondered what she was going to wear. And what would happen when he got whatever it was off of her. _

_ He called, got their reservation time changed to 6:30, and then headed to the bathroom. He showered and shaved with extra care, curled his bangs around one finger and gave the mirror his best "I am one handsome devil" smile. But the smile faded. Will didn't really think of him as physically attractive. She leaned to the ladies. His smile was replaced by a frown. Not that he'd ever pried into Willow and Tara's love life, but he had the sudden realization that oral sex might have been one of their major methods of making love. _Great. I'm about to go up against one of the pros. If she wants me to- and that's a big if.

_Willow smoothed down her tight green blouse and swishy black skirt. It was too long, but toss on the ankle boots with heels- perfection. It hit just above the boots and made her look- sexy. _Hey. Hey, brain, no needing to look sexy. It's just Xander. He loves you, but he's not physically going to be super attracted to your body. We're not thinking in boy and girl anymore, just Willow and Xander, we are who we are, and don't get hung up on appearances- and oh my God, he looks like the Marlboro Man and I suddenly want to smoke _that_. _Willow swallowed hard when she saw him._

Dear sweet Jesus and any other deities..._ Xander entered the room and she just happened to twirl to face him at that moment, foot sliding into her black leather ankle boot. Her shoulder length red hair flowed, the skirt spun, her smile came on, her cheeks turned that strawberries and cream color models would kill to have naturally. "Wow."_

_ "Um. Yeah, wow." She gestured to him. _He's checking me out! Wow!

_ "You- gods, Will, is that new?" _When did she fill out a shirt like that? Huh?

_ "Oh, no, I bought it on clearance after the holidays, but it's kinda tight. Now that I've lost my holiday belly I can wear it again."_

_ "You sure can." _Smooth much? You're practically drooling! Get a grip!_ "Let's go to dinner."_

_ "Mm, yummies." Willow giggled once and pushed out the door._

I can't fall in love with her. No, it's not right, it's not fair. _Xander locked the house behind them. She turned her head and smiled impishly as she waited by his pick up. _Shit. Well... she doesn't have to know that I'm falling. Right?

* * *

><p><em> "This is a nice place! Why haven't we ever come here before? I mean for special occasions, family parties or things?" Willow admired the restaurant with its old world Italian bistro style.<em>

_ "We should bring the others. I didn't know it was so nice." Xander nodded, and looked around, kind of relieved. Willow wasn't too dressed up and he wasn't too dressed down for this place. The kind of place they could bring Buffster to when she was in one of her fancy moods and still not get kicked out because of Spike's firm belief that black jeans and ungodly old boots were dress code for every place in the world._

_ They were seated in a chandelier lit corner and ordered a sampler platter of appetizers to share. "Oo ow at?" Xander asked his mouth full of fried zucchini._

_ "No, what?" Willow understood Xander speak in almost all forms, including chewing._

_ "It doesn't matter where we go." Xander leaned forward and popped a breaded mushroom in her mouth with a smile. "Coffee in the park, fancy clubs in Vegas, dinner at Giles' or Buffy's, or this little place. It's just us."_

_ "It's always just us." Willow agreed. "Although-" she let any last pieces of her reservations fly free, "I think that I like you now, better than ever."_

_ "Really? Even without my boyish good looks and youthful teenage charms?"_

_ "Yeah. I like you like this. Because I'm not some little teenager anymore anyway. We loved, we lost, we went bad- me more than you, but we came back. We hated people, we forgave people." She shrugged and stared at the face she loved. "It's not better this way with-without them," she swallowed, "- but I _know_ you better. Does that make sense?"_

_ "Deep, Wills. And yeah, sense was made." He poured her a glass of red wine from the bottle on the table. He brushed his knuckles softly on the back of the hand that raised her wine glass. "You're right. This isn't better than- thn what could have been. This isn't the way things should have been. But I love you better than ever."_

_ Willow blushed and raised her glass. "To getting better."_

_ "To getting better." He clinked his glass gently to hers._

* * *

><p><em> "We need to stop and get milk." Willow reminded Xander as they walked out of the eatery, hand in hand.<em>

_ "It's our turn to host dinner tomorrow, isn't it?"_

_ "Yeah. And I have stuff for school, so you're cooking." Willow squeezed his hand teasingly._

_ "So, pizza for all?"_

_ "We cannot keep feeding them pizza. It isn't balanced."_

_ "Pizza and salad?"_

_ Willow relented. "Fine. We'll buy veggies, too."_

_ "I want that pre-packed, pre-washed stuff. Dial and serve, open and pour, that's the way to do it."_

_ "You're hopeless."_

_ "You love it."_

_ Willow let him boost her into the pick up, her legs somewhat hampered by the long skirt. He shut the door after her, giving her a cocky grin. "Yeah, I do." She agreed, rolling her eyes. She watched him walk around the front, coming to sit beside her. Everything about tonight- the way they could go from a lovely dinner for two to joking about cooking for six, stopping at the grocery store, to what they'd do at home...It wasn't the way she'd ever thought she'd feel with anyone but Tara. Like they could be happy and in- in love. _Oh no. I can't be falling in love... not with him, this is gonna make everything so...

_Willow's train of thought derailed as Xander leaned over and kissed her with surprising force._

...wonderful._ Willow's eyes opened and she smiled. "Can we run to the store tomorrow?"_

_ Xander nodded, breathing hard. "Sure."_

* * *

><p><em> Willow's voice was muffled and frantic. "Wait until we get in the house."<em>

_ "Uh-uh." Xander shook his head and captured her mouth again, as they trotted clumsily up the walkway. "You taste too sweet."_

_ "Xander... don't..." Always complimentary, he'd never sounded so...passionate before. It made her insides squirm in a good way._

_ "No. I will. I want to. You taste so sweet." He repeated, tongue tickling between her lips. "Tiramisu and red wine."_

_ "You shouldn't have ordered the chocolate cake if you like tiramisu so much." She gasped between kisses. _

_ "Tastes better on you." They tripped over their doormat and into the house. "I bet everything tastes better on you."_

_ "You're yummy yourself." Willow's voice came out an octave higher as they clutched at each other._

_ "Just- gimme- a sec." Xander panted, turning to lock the door. "Okay. Second's up." The kissing resumed._

_ They made it up the stairs in record time, shoes left haphazardly on steps showing their progress. Once inside Willow's room, she pushed her palm into his shoulder, holding him back to catch her breath as they started undressing in the darkness. "Where're you going?" She asked as Xander's hands left her now shirtless torso._

_ "To turn on the reading lamp." _

_ "Why?" Willow hastily held her unclasped bra over her breasts and took a step back, a hint of frightened deer coming to the fore of her persona._

_ "So I can see how beautiful you are." He flipped on the switch._

_ "But- um- shyness kicks in?"_

_ "Oh." Xander left the light on, but returned to her, forehead to forehead. Slowly, he reached up and cupped her cheek, and then led her fingers to his patch. "Take this off." With a swallow, she pulled the black circle away, looking at what was underneath without so much as a shudder. "Will? What do you have to be shy about?"_

_ "You'll never think I look as beautiful as-"_

_ "No. No, I'll never think of you in terms of 'as' or 'like' . I'll think of you in terms of 'just'. You're just beautiful, Wills." He laughed softly as she looked up at, nibbling her lower lip in a nervous gesture. "And if you think I might have concerns about how you look- God- Wills! I'm not exactly built to your tastes."_

_ "Yes, you are! You're just what I need. You're my Xander." Her arms lifted to embrace his neck, pushing his unbuttoned shirt over his shoulders, at the same time her black bra falling free. _

_ "You're gorgeous." He murmured in her ear, and felt her palms slide down his back, ending at his jeans. _

_ "So are you." _

_ "You're wearing too many clothes, though." He put his hands on her waist and lifted her a few steps to the edge of the bed. _

_ "Ditto." She gasped, relaxing under his touch, feeling his hot kisses burning down her skin, across her cleavage. "Get these off." She tugged at his button and then the zip, pawing his trousers and boxer briefs down with an urgency she hadn't felt before. This wasn't just so they could wrap themselves together in a sweet expression of their love and friendship. This was wanting him, needing him, on a deeper level. Wanting to be closer to him than ever. To take everything they'd done so far- and make it better._

_ Xander closed his eyes and felt her slender fingers on him, stroking him differently this time. _'Cause she can see me- I mean, obviously before she knew what I looked like- but she didn't "see" me._ "Um. Okay?" His voice was hoarse._

_ "You're perfect. Just- it's you. It's better than okay." _

_ His fingers traced down, inside her skirt, inside matching black nylon panties, cupping her mound, feeling soft, gossamer hairs. She gasped and arched, hips rolling back as she went flat on the mattress, his strong wrist moving in the opposite direction, shedding her clothes. He smiled up at her, and watched her blush. When Will blushes, he realized, she doesn't just get pink cheeks. Her entire torso, breasts, neck, shoulders, all had a rosy hue. "Now that is something beautiful." He whispered reverently, and pushed her legs gently apart._

_ "Xan-"_

_ "Honey, can I do this for you? I bet I can make you feel good." He encouraged._

_ "I know you can." She ran a hesitant hand down her belly. It had been a long time. A very, very long time since anyone had done this. And the partners of the most recent vintage had been female- having the same parts and secrets. Showing this to a man seemed more frightening._

_ "Will- you do get that a., I've seen this sort of thing before, and b., I don't give a damn what you look like, I'm already impressed. And I thought we established that you're beautiful to me. "_

_ "Promise?"_

_ "I swear." _

_ "Can we- maybe turn the lights off?" She whimpered nervously. He gave a boyish smirk and shook his head firmly. "No?"_

_ "Nope. I thought we wanted to make things better? More Willow viewing is of the indescribably better making." He bent and kissed her lips, and made a steady straight line down her throat, over her stomach until he reached her coral gates, flanked by perfect milky thighs and outer lips with their sprinkling of coppery hair. _

_ He really did think she was beautiful, and she did taste sweet. He consciously focused on what she, Willow looked, smelled, tasted, and felt like. No comparisons. No comparisons, it was too painful, and neither of them could afford to be compared or do the comparing. Focus on her, just her... Hints of salty honey, infinitely soft and tight, quivered like butterfly wings at each touch of his tongue until she relaxed._

_ Willow gave in and relaxed with a groan, belly arching up and then drawing in as her legs went limp around his face. Her hands curled in his short, crisp hair. She felt a twinge of pain when she realized there was no soft giggling, no sweetly curved chin digging at her, instead a slightly shadowed jaw, a deep satisfied chortle. "Xander." Saying his name reminded her that this wasn't about anyone else but the two of them. Just him and her._

_ "So beautiful, Wills. Perfect. I love the way you taste, like honey. So sweet."_

_ "You don't have to say that."_

_ "I will if I want to." He lightly dug his tongue in deeper and watched, gratified, as she gave in, and her legs collapsed around him, letting him in fully, tongue penetrating, then fingers, until she came in a shuddering climax, a half sob of relief echoing in the room._

_ Xander came up and held her tight. "Wills? Did I do it wrong?" Or maybe I'm just not good compared to- whoa, no comparing, none!_

_ "No. No, no, oh, God, it was good. It- I missed that and I didn't know I missed it."_

_ "Did it," he phrased the questions carefully as he could, still humming from her taste and ears ringing with her blissful sounds, "bring up some memories? Not something I should do again?"_

_ "Please do it again." She corrected. "Memories are sweet- but after a minute, I was only thinking of you." _I've been thinking of him so much, in so many ways. _She wrapped her arms around him, locking around his chest, head nestled under his throat._ I never thought it would this good. This right.

_ "I was thinking about you, too." He murmured, and rolled, surprised to find her countering his motion. "Will?"_

_ "I- well- it's been like four years, okay?"_

_ "Four years since-?"_

_ "This." Her eyes closed, as if it was easier for her to concentrate when she couldn't see- and slowly wrapped her lips around his tip._

_ He couldn't breath, just opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish shot from its bowl. He had been sure he'd never experience anyone again, and even after he and Willow had made their painful but passionate journey from friends to friends and lovers, he had still thought this act might be dead to him. That made it all the sweeter. Not to mention the fact that it was Willow, sweet, shy Willow doing this. Powerful, almighty, turn the armies of hell away Willow doing this._ It may not be what I wanted, but its wonderful, its priceless. It's her, for me.

_ She opened her emerald eyes and looked into his hazel ones, waiting for some sign of approval, for him to give her a much needed confidence boost about something she hadn't done since Oz, a skill she had never really been sure of even with him. He finally lifted his head from the pillow. "Good?"_

_ "Better than good." He rasped, voice actually shaking a little._

_ "Is it me? Or just- y'know, because it's a good thing to feel?"_

_ "Willow. It's you. Love you, Wills."_

_ Her fingers twitched up his thigh and met his hand on his hip. "Love you." She whispered before she gave into something primal. Just engulfing him, inhaling him, his scent, texture, and taste. _Its different than anything I ever imagined, but it's good. Wonderful.

_ As wonderful as it felt, Xander brought it to a halt soon. He could barely wait until Wills had her first peak, he didn't need any more help to climax. With a sharp gasp he brushed her hair from her forehead and met her eyes again. "Come here?"_

_ "Okay." She wiped her dripping lips bashfully and laughed, "Xander!" when he pulled her across his waist. "Me? On top?"_

_ "We won't know until we try. And it's nice to just look up at you Wills. I think I'd like to see you smiling down at me."_

_ "I'd like to see you smiling up at me." She lowered her head and took control of a long kiss, slowly easing herself down on him as she did so. _

_ He tangled his hands in her hair and then released her, letting her sit up. They shared a smile of relaxed contentment and pleasure. Looking at each other in the light, with no secrets left from one another, they let out a peaceful sigh. _

_ "Hey, Beautiful." Xander whispered softly._

_ "Hey." She blinked back some emotion in her eye, heart swelling with things she'd never tell him, things she hadn't meant to feel. "You make everything better."_

_ "_We_ make everything better." Xander took her hands and held them to his heart as she rocked them into sweet surrender. _


	9. Chapter 9

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for Hannah the Bloody, who requested a chapter about Dawn's Prom_

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. Here we reference Eve6 "Here's to the Night" and Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing."_

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part IX

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXV of _Starting Over_, before the "several months later" section)

"C'mon, Baby, it'll be fun."

"I don't do conventions. Not comic ones. They're for nerds." Essie said firmly, and immediately wished she hadn't. She looked at Jim, but as usual, he didn't look angry, he looked amused.

"My Star Trek obsession and my pez dispenser collection didn't tip you off that I'm a nerd, Babe?"

"But you- you're like a hybrid. You're not just into sci-fi and 'nerd' stuff, you like rock and roll, and you've got the good acting thing...and the really hot sexiness thing." She glanced at the clock. Her schedule was all thrown off this first week of summer vacation, with Jimmy not on the set, and Sul not in school, and her own career taking a rest after her crazy Japanese filming commitments. "I have to start dinner."

"You're not getting out of this by fixing dinner." He laughed and followed her into the kitchen. She ignored him. "Hybrid nerd or not, I'd still die if Leonard Nimoy asked me to act in anything. Hell, I'd die if he said more than 'Who do I make the autograph out to?'." He watched his wife of just over a year smirk and quickly change it into a frown. She was weakening. "And I wouldn't be talking too much, Essie. You know we're cult classic material."

She sighed. "I know. I know...but I refuse to go to these things. I especially refuse to dress up!"

Sul came into the kitchen, his nose already buried in his summer reading book. He bumped into the counter, lowered the book, and then steered to the table. "I'm hungry. Is dinner ready yet?"

"Soon." Essie began chopping peppers and Jimmy came over beside his son. "Skewer?"

"I'll skewer, where're the beef cubes?"

"Bottom shelf." Ess moved over slightly so they could make kebabs together.

"You don't have to dress up to go, you know." Jim pressed.

"Jimmy!"

"Max's going. He's going to bring his eye patch. Ashley's going- a couple more from my show... C'mon it'll be fun!"

"Where are we going?" Sully appeared from his haze of book induced fantasy.

"Comic-Con, LA." Jim answered, snagging a pepper chunk from Essie's fingers.

"Or not." His wife muttered, now slicing a zucchini.

"What's a comicon?"

"Comic Convention. Show actors and writers and comic book authors and artists all come to this big building. Everyone gets together and Daddy's gonna spend part of the day being nice to fans- and part of the day acting like a big kid and being a fan himself."

"Is our family gonna be there?" Sul asked.

Jimmy gave Essie a pointed look. He meant their cast "family" and that was a big ace in his hand right there. "Aunt Ashley, Uncle Max, their spouses, and a couple other people you don't know as well are going."

"Is Daniel going?" Essie asked.

"Nope. He refuses on the grounds of uncoolness."

"See? That's a sign. A major sign not to go."

"Okay. Stay home." Jimmy sighed. "We'll miss you."

She pouted and put down her knife. "Jim... I'd feel weird. I only do interviews, fan base is different. People dress up like other people. It's...weird!" She gave up trying to be articulate and pouted as she explained in exasperation.

"Please come with us, Essie." Sul got up from the table and stood between her and his dad. "Please?"

Essie looked at her stepson as he applied the full wattage of his blue eyes on her. The baby blues trick- which Jim was now using as well. Two sets of blue eyes boring into her with all that love and laughter, and reminding her that she chose real life instead of the Hollywood edition with its perfectly scripted, always made up, never uncool appearance. "Ohhhhh." She let out a hissing groan. "Two pairs of the big blue eyes. Fine! Fine, I'm coming, but if you get anywhere near me with a pair of pointy ears-"

"We'll be at our own table, Honey. No pointy ears. No one on Buffy or Angel had pointy ears. Well- no regular cast anyway."

"Are you gonna dress up like Spike, Dad?"

Jim ran his hands over his still bleached hair. Filming had been done for a few weeks, but the bleach hadn't gone out of it yet. He wasn't so pale either, finally getting to enjoy swimming in their pool as much as he wanted. "Maybe I'll put a little peroxide rinse through before we go. Not the painful kind, just enough to make it look like 'Spike'."

"What about fangs? And the coat?"

"No. I think the hair will be enough."

* * *

><p><em>"We're doing the works. Hair, nails, facials, new dresses and shoes- well duh, of course new dresses and shoes, it's prom." Dawn flipped through a magazine of hair styles. "Do you think I should do an up-do, or let it fall free, or what about one of those half twists, with the rest hanging down?"<em>

_ "I think it depends on the dress." Buffy was looking through another magazine, geared for proms and containing nothing but dresses and matching accessories._

_ "I'm going full length. Totally formal. But not white, because I'm getting a white dress for graduation."_

_ "Could you try not to bankrupt us?"_

_ "I'm using most of my own money, cheapskate." Dawn threw a strawberry at her sister who used her reflexes to catch it and quickly ate it, retaliating with a blueberry from her own fruit salad._

_ "No fair. My reflexes aren't up to your speed. And kinda never will be."_

_ "You're getting pretty good. And what do you mean, your own money?"_

_ "Giles authorized a stipend for Watcher-in-training, just like for the ones at the Alliance Academy."_

_ "When!" Buffy felt out of the loop._

_ "Just a couple weeks ago. Sorry, I was gonna tell you. I forgot. Senioritis."_

_ "More like daydreamitis." Buffy grumbled. "How much? Should I be demanding rent?"_

_ "No, just enough so I don't have to ask you guys to buy dresses. But the limo..."_

_ Buffy sighed. "Are you ate least going to split it with some people?"_

_ "Claire, Jenna, and their dates."_

_ "Their dates? What about _your_ date? Who are you going with?" Buffy leaned forward. She'd been waiting for this moment for a very long time. The moment Dawn would announce she had a date- and not some guy taking her to get ice cream after play practice, because there were tons of those and they were all friends. No, a real date, a real "can't eat, can't sleep, puppy love, tears on my pillow, stealing kisses" guy date._

_ "I'm going to go with my charming self." Dawn grinned. "Ohh, that's nice. I like that. Would that deep purple make me look too pale?"_

_ "No." Buffy glanced quickly at the gown. "Dawn, when you say you're going-" Buffy's questions were cut off with a loud beep._

_ "Claire's here! I'll be back by ten, yes I have my homework done, and yes, I'll call if I'm late or attacked. Love you, bye!" Dawn scooted away from the table, grabbing her magazines in her arms. "Bye, Spike! I love you!" Dawn hollered up the stairs._

_ "Bye Li'l Bit!" Spike shouted back. Buffy heard the washer lid slam. Spike must be up and just started the laundry. "Love you, too. Call-"_

_ "If I'm late or attacked, I know the drill. See you when I get in."_

_ Buffy watched Dawn leave, then quietly gathered up the fruit salad bowls and forks. She retrieved a bag of blood for Spike, and heated it up in a mug. Still quiet and frowning slightly, Buffy carried the mug up to her husband._

_ "You are the most beautiful sight in the world." Spike beamed when he saw her. "A gorgeous sexy woman and a steamin' pint. Love you."_

_ "I love you, too." She handed him the mug. He took it, but didn't drink._

_ "What's the matter, Pet?" He didn't like the set of her face, too calm, too quiet._

_ "Dawn doesn't have a date to the prom."_

_ "Is she all broken up about it?" Spike frowned._

_ "Nope. Very cheerful."_

_ "I'm not seein' the 'wrong' part."_

_ "What was all that crap about 'let her grow', she has to manage without us, choose her own path? When she wanted to be a Watcher and we got talked into it." Buffy's eyes hardened._

_ "Still not connectin'."_

_ "This isn't okay, Spike! She's not supposed to go to her Senior Prom alone! You preach about letting her take risks, but you get all big scary macho man when a guy is involved!"_

_ "Just hang on a minute! I showed you inside my mind, I'm jus' as scared as you are about her takin' chances. An' as for boys, I explained that to you, too. The heart is so much harder to heal if someone hurts it." _

_ "Keeping it _empty_ isn't too good either!" Buffy spat._

_ "You'd know about _that_, Sweetheart." Spike snarled._

_ Eyes locked, both of them felt a painful snap inside their bodies. "Ow." Spike was first to vocalize, sounding miffed._

_ "Who's playing with cosmic slingshots?" Buffy demanded._

_ Spike frowned, and walked closer to her. "Do you love me?"_

_ "Of course." Her angry expression softened._

_ "But you're angry with me?"_

_ "Yes. No. I don't know! This is hard!"_

_ "Well, apparently fightin' amongst ourselves doesn't help anything. That pain? That was the claim. It hurts when a couple gets too far apart."_

_ "But we're right here." Buffy bit her lip._

_ "First time we've ever gotten shirty with each other in a long time. Not just arguin'. Mad. Blamin'. Accusin'." He shook his shoulders like he was fighting off a chill. "Felt sick inside."_

_ Buffy thought back to a few seconds ago. The pain came when they spoke harshly. About love, letting someone in your heart, keeping your heart empty. Like she blamed him for Dawn not having a boyfriend, like he was being mean and selfish, trying to keep her from forming a relationship.. And he reminded her of how she rejected his love, or maybe how she'd rejected everyone but Angel's love, right until it was almost too late. "A little snap inside- telling me never to push you away again." She murmured._

_ "Remindin' me to keep a civil tongue in my head." Spike pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Buffy. I love Dawn. I don't want her to be alone, I don't want her to be hurt. I'll talk to her as soon as she gets home, alright? If she's puttin' off decent boys because of me, I'll- well, I'll do what I have to do." _Stop bein' protective? How can I stop bein' protective when that little girl has roots seven feet deep in my heart? Couldn't stop protectin' her unless I died...

_Buffy shook her head. "No. I mean, yeah, talk to her. She'll open up to you in a way she doesn't open up to me. But you can't stop feeling like you have to guard her heart. You're someone who'd have died to keep her safe, and you watched me tear myself apart in the name of a broken heart. It makes sense that you don't want to see her do the same thing."_

_ "I love you, Sweetlet. I didn't help protect you. I pulled you down, I was so selfish. I wanted you however I could have you. You know how that ended up." Spike pulled her closer._

_ "I kept you out. It was all a mess, and we can't fix it. We can just try and make it better for her."_

_ "Agreed." They both paused, hands clasped, something still hanging unsaid in the air._

_ "I'm projecting, aren't I?" Buffy asked with a self-depreciating sigh._

_ "I dunno, are you?"_

_ "I went to my prom alone. Then Angel showed up for one dance and left me." She blinked. "Actually, I'm starting to think your idea about keeping her safe from idiot teenage boys is a good idea. I mean, if a man with two hundred fifty years of dating experience couldn't get it right..."_

_ Spike growled, and then laughed. "Were you just bashin' on Peaches?"_

_ "Maybe a little?"_

_ "I love it. Do more."_

_ "Spike..." She rolled her eyes._

_ "I know, I know, he's got his useful qualities." He sighed. Then frowned. "I'm not gettin' soft. I still have to like the guy who Bit likes. Well, not hate him for a good reason, anyway. Both of us do, before he gets near our girl."_

_ "That's right." Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing at his suddenly sullen expression. "You're a good brother."_

_ "You're a good sis."_

_ "You're an even better husband."_

_ Spike smiled and let out a deep sigh of relief. " You're a bloody good wife, the best there ever was or will be. I never want to lose you."_

_ She tucked herself into his arms. "You can't. Remember? You belong to me, and I belong to you." _

_ He rested his head on hers, feeling her warmth, feeling a glow inside, not a twinge of pain, instead a flutter of peace and relaxation. "We do get riled up fast where the Bit is involved, don't we?"_

_ "Just a little bit." She laughed into his shirt. "She's the most important thing, her and Giles, Xan, and Wills."_

_ "I dunno about all _them_..."_

_ "Spike, stop, or I'm gonna get cranky again." She warned, completely insincerely._

_ "Want to go an' work off the tension?"_

_ "Well... Dawn won't be home until ten."_

_ "Good. I got damages to fix."_

_ "Spike, we're not damaged." Her face fell, but quickly brightened at his mischievous smile._

_ "Shush. Claim needs strengthenin'."_

_ "Oh. Well, yeah, it could always use some of that." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed adoringly into his eyes._

_ Spike left his blood untouched, knowing he would soon be dipping his teeth into something more warm and filling. "You're never gonna be hurt again, never gonna be empty inside again, and never gonna get left standin' alone, you know that, Pet?"_

_ "I know that now. You're too stubborn to go. Too in love to hurt. Too much a part of me to let me feel empty. I just want Dawn to have all that- without all the hell we had to go through to get it."_

_ "Precious, don't worry. She's still so young. I mean, look at us. It took me about a hundred fifty years, took you twenty two an' a half. If we average that out- sod that, that's gotta be eighty some years!" Spike realized too late this was not a comforting thought._

_ "I knew math was a bad thing." Buffy whimpered._

_ Spike shook his head and tugged her from the laundry room to their bedroom. "That was a bloody stupid idea I jus' had anyway. 'Cause you an' me are special. An' when you figure that it took us all that time to fall for each other an' do something about it- it won't hold a candle to how long we're goin' to be together. They promised us forever."_

_ "Forever sounds worth the trouble." Buffy closed the bedroom door behind them._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn pulled out her cell phone as Claire drove her home. "We're not late, I don't know why you need to call." Claire said gently. She loved Dawn, but she seemed to constantly have to touch base with her family. Not just her parents- well, siblings, but that hot older guy, Mr. Giles, and two other people, something like cousins or in-laws. <em>

_ "I know. Hang on. Buffy? Who's on pat- I mean, who has to work tonight? Spike's home? Yeah, okay. I'm on my way now. You're with Giles and Xander? Okay, well hang up and be careful! Yeah. Yeah, love you, too."_

_ "What was that about?"_

_ "I just- needed to check which part of the family I was hanging with."_

_ "That must be really hard, having your whole family work nights."_

_ "Not so bad." Dawn shrugged easily. Nothing fazed her about her family situation. She liked Claire and Jenna and trusted them, although she hadn't been completely honest about her family's line of work. But she didn't give a rat's ass if people thought it was weird or if they looked at her funny. She figured if people were really her friends, they wouldn't care too much. She'd seen that first hand with Buffy, Willow, and Xander. So far, she'd been right about this idea, Claire and Jenna liked her and never criticized her about important things, even if they were always giving her a hard time about dating._

_ "Someone is home, though? You don't want me to stay? Or you could come back with us. This place- at night- it's umm, it's creepy sometimes." Claire said hesitantly. _

_ "It's okay. I'm cool with the creepy." Dawn smiled and leaned back in her seat. "So, we dress shop this weekend?"_

_ "We rock the mall. You're gonna look so hot in that purple dress. You're sure you aren't going to go with anyone?"_

_ "Yeppers. I'll dance with all the hotties- but just one dance so no one thinks I'm some poaching ho bag."_

_ "Good plan. I know all the guys in the club are going to want to get in on that action. Even the gay ones. Dawn... you aren't-"_

_ "I'm not gay, Claire. I'm just picky."_

_ "Aren't you curious? You know, about what everyone's talking about? Parking, back seats, overnights at the South Garden Motel Eight?"_

_ "Not as curious as you'd think." Dawn sighed. "I kind of live with the king and queen of 'can't keep their hands of each other'-ville."_

_ "Still. That's not _you _getting any."_

_ "I'm smart like that. I'm waiting for true love."_

_ "So you're gonna be a virgin until you get married?"_

_ "Maybe. I'm at least waiting until I find the right guy for me. A long haul guy. The true love guy. I've seen the fake stuff, and I've seen the real stuff. The real deal is the only deal I want."_

_ "That's deep." Claire mused._

_ "That's me." Dawn leaned over and kissed her friend on the cheek and mussed her hair. "Ms. Serious and Brainy."_

_ "Oh yeah right! Get outta here!" Claire gave her a playful shove._

_ "No, you get out!"_

_ "No, you!"_

_ "Make me."_

_ "It's _my_ car, and we're at _your _house."_

_ "Oh. Stop pointing out the flaws in my plan."_

_ "You're the brainy one, you should spot the flaws yourself, Dawn."_

_ "See you tomorrow?"_

_ "Unless my 'rents have temporary insanity."_

_ "So, I'll see you tomorrow then." Dawn laughed and went inside. "Spi-ike! I'm home."_

_ "I made chocolate!" Spike took the pot off the burner where it has been sitting on warm for the last half hour. "Bit well done, but you like it strong, don't you, Niblet?"_

_ "What'd you do, break the karaoke machine? Shrink my laundry?" Dawn asked suspiciously._

_ "Can't a man make you a hot cuppa without you gettin' suspicious?"_

_ "Well- I suppose three men can, but only three." Dawn laughed, and crashed onto the couch, sneakers kicking off over the arm and falling with a soft thunk. _

_ "That's a nice lead in." Spike muttered, and came in with two mugs. "Here."_

_ "Thank you. What's up?"_

_ "You only trust three guys, huh?"_

_ "Uh-" Caught off guard, Dawn had to think about that. "Enough to give me a hot drink when I come into a room late at night? Yeah, sorta."_

_ "What about enough to take you to the cinema or for a nice dinner someplace?" Spike asked, cringing inside. His demon snarled perilously close to the surface. _She's the blood of our blood, we do not encourage her to go out and have meaningless bonding with boys who won't appreciate how unique she is.

_"I'm calling Willow. You're bespelled or something." Dawn sat up._

_ "No. No, Bit, honestly I'm not."_

_ "Then you got your head bashed in, although that usually doesn't make you loopy, just snarky." She puzzled. "What's with the boy talk? Do you want me to get out of your hair for a night? 'Cause I can stay with Giles almost any night you want."_

_ "Buffy said you were goin' stag to your senior prom, an' apparently that's a big deal an' a world of wrong. Am I puttin' off the blokes?"_

_ "Are you kidding? That's why you're trying to offer me up like a virgin sacrifice?"_

_ "I'm not offerin' you- you did say- um-"_

_ "Virgin. Yeah." Dawn blushed._

_ "Bit, I don't wanna talk about this too much. Makes my innards feel all squidgy."_

_ "You think you have it bad? My 'innards' still actually work!" _

_ "Buffy an' I were just talkin' about you tonight. You're important to us both- an' the reason I'm doin' the talkin' is because I'm probably the one who screwed up. We want you to have the best shot at normal we can give you. With- dates." He looked as though he'd said something far worse and indescribably vile._

_ Dawn stared at him. "You want me to date? No, sorry, I'm calling Willow. You hold still."_

_ "Bit, listen!" Spike grabbed her wrist as she passed him and sat her down hard on the edge of the coffee table. "I don't _want_ you to _date_. Okay, that's me bein' honest. But if I'm holdin' you back 'cause I'm overprotective, I'll try- I can't promise, mind, but I'll try to tone it down. A little." He sighed. "If there's some boy..."_

_ "Spike. I love you. But you shouldn't listen to Buffy too much. She's really, _really _stupid about love. Until it's almost too late, like we found out the hard way." Spike shared a wry grin with her. _

_ "These proms though-"_

_ "I got asked to go by four guys." Dawn grinned with feline superiority._

_ "You did?" Spike kept his voice even with an effort._

_ "Yeah. I told them no. I said I'd save them a dance though. I wasn't a total bitch or anything."_

_ "Of course not, Sweet Bits."_

_ "I- I don't want to waste myself on some guy who isn't the right one. I mean, I like going to get ice cream or pizza with someone, but just as friends. Anything more though- I'll know it when I see it, and then- better prepare to do your most vicious big brother act ever."_

_ "I promise, I'll be as - wait, did you say 'vicious'?" His eyes lit up._

_ "Duh. How am I gonna make sure a guy has the stones for this family if he can't get past you?"_

_ "I know sometimes I lose my rag a bit. I don't want to scare off the one you want."_

_ "If he doesn't have the guts to fight his way in, brave it out, I don't want him." She said complacently._

_ Spike was silenced in admiration. "You don't need a bloke with stones, Luv. You've got enough for two." _

_ "Then he'd better have enough for three. I'm spoiled. I've spent the last two years with really strong survivor, alpha male types. I'm not looking for someone who's going to act like a testosterone neanderthal, but, I don't want someone like Riley. Someone who thinks he has to keep being better than me. I just want someone who'll take me like I am, with all the weirdness, and see I'm strong." She twirled her hair around her fingers with a sudden burst of anxiety. "Do you think that's stupid? Is it like some impossible thing, and I'm just going to get disappointed?"_

_ "No. I think you might have to wait. But I think you'll get what you want. You are a Summers woman."_

_ "Damn straight." She clinked her mug to his. _

_ Spike leaned forward and pressed his cool lips quickly to her forehead. "You're a piece of work, Dawn. Now," he got up briskly, "we can be good an' responsible an' get you to bed. Or we can be the bad seeds we are an' watch Spinal Tap an' eat pork rinds until you fall asleep."_

_ "I'll get the junk food, you put in the movie."_

* * *

><p>"Daddy, are all these people movie stars?" Sul looked wide eyed at the massive amount of people streaming into the convention center in downtown LA.<p>

"No." Jimmy answered through gritted teeth. "Ess, there's a sign for the performers' entrance somewhere, help me find it."

"I can't see anything but- Sullivan close your eyes right now!" She shouted suddenly. Sul, startled by her raised voice, did as she told him. "Jimmy- there are people in alien space girl sex slave costumes!" She hissed.

"There's a decency code, he won't see anything more than he sees on a beach. And we're only staying for the morning. I wouldn't bring him if it wasn't safe- sod it! The entrance!"

"You can't make it, you're going to have to go around again."

"Oh, no I don't! It took me thirty minutes to get around this time and the traffic is just getting worse." Jimmy looked over his shoulder.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"No, and you might wanna cover your ears." Essie grimaced. "I cannot believe I agreed to this."

"It's for love, Baby. Call it part of the bonding experience." He swung the Mustang violently into the other lane and jerked into the convention center's underground garage in the "reserved for performers" lot just as the parking attendant stepped out. The pale blonde swore softly and slammed on the brakes.

"I need to see your pass- oh. Wow." The attendant was apparently a fan of the show, because his face lit up. "I still need to see the pass, please Spike, I mean, Mr.-."

"Here." Jim flashed a folded piece of paper and was waved in. "Sul?"

"Yeah?"

"You're safe now. But there are rules. Big, big rules, so listen up." Jim parked easily in one of the many spots and then unbuckled. He and Essie turned to gaze gravely at the eight year old. "First- you do not go _anywhere_ without one of us. Essie, your aunts and uncles, or me. Check?"

"Check."

"You will hold our hands when you are walking with us. No matter what."

"Aww, Dad-"

"Hands. Check?"

"Check."

"There will be people dressed up. Some might be dressed up like characters from the show. You do not go anywhere with anyone unless you know who they are, and you tell us first, even if you think you recognize them. Check?"

"Very check. That's stranger danger, that's like- preschool stuff, Dad."

"And last- take a good look at us." Jim put on his Bears cap and a pair of sunglasses. Essie bundled her ponytail up under a chic black cap and sunglasses. "This is how we're going to look when we walk around. When we're at our table we're going to look different, no caps and glasses."

"Do I get to be at the table?"

"Nope. We're taking turns. And we'll see all kinds of stuff. There's Superman and Batman, and Star Trek-"

"Hulk?"

"Hulk, yeah, and you can buy two souvenirs." Jimmy fished some money out of his wallet and had Sul put it in his. "You have your phone?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Let's go, Little Man!" Jimmy turned from protective father to rabid fan. Essie watched, laughing and shaking her head as the two men in her life went charging inside, beyond excited.

"Well, wait for me! Comic-Con new person!" Essie cried and trotted after them when she realized they weren't going to wait. They had to go through security, and they were given a labyrinth like map to try and find out where the Buffy/Angel center was, and how to enter it from the secured "backstage" areas. They were fitted with plastic ID badges on lanyards and Sul was given one as well, which he looked like he might die from pride while wearing.

"This is the coolest weekend ever." Sul sighed when they walked in, looking at the huge murals and posters adorning every space.

"Just remember. Actors, actresses, story writers, Sul. Nothing scary is real, okay?" Essie reminded him in a slightly strained voice. She and Jim were so careful not to let him mix with the acting world, and this seemed to fly in the face of it. And it wasn't fair. Jim just wanted some time to do fun stuff with his wife and son, see childhood heroes brought to life, meet their own sci-fi and fantasy icons. Hundreds of parents and kids would be doing the same thing this weekend. _It's a fine line we're walking_, she thought.

"Essie, I _know_ that." Sul swung his hands, one in his father's and one in hers. "It's like a big set. Are all the shows made up of families like our show?"

"_Our _show?" Jim poked his son in the back of the neck, making him squeak. "Since when did you act, Buster?"

"Some people get along, some people don't, just like in all families." Ess explained after a second of deliberation.

"Jimmy! Ess, Sulster!" Max's voice caught their attention.

"Look at you! Plaid and no goatee!" Jim laughed.

"A-and, ta-dah!" Max flipped the eye patch out of his pocket and onto his head. "Meet Max's secret alter ego, Xander."

"Are you a pirate?" Sully asked with a puzzled frown. "Are there pirate vampires?"

"You can field that one, Dad Man." Max picked the kid up and gave him a bear hug.

"There are no pirate vampires- at least, not until the writers get another brilliant idea. Or a bottle of tequila." Jim mumbled the last part, retrieving Sully from Max before he could start turning him upside down or tickling him unmercifully.

"So, how are we working this?" Essie began to relax as she peeped out and saw a long line had already formed at their table. _It's thanking the fans. The people who look up to Buffy, or who have a crush on Spike, who want to be powerful like Willow, strong at heart like Xander, a dark horse like Wesley. It's nice to slip back into character and say thank you to the people who made the show fly. No one thought it would, but look at it. We made a legend. And I got my own real life fairy tale from it. _

"One of us at a time gets to leave and Sully-watch." Jim said. "I told the publicists we'd stay for four hours as guests, and then if we want to stay longer we can."

"I think four hours is plenty." She laughed. "I'll volunteer to do some signing first."

"Me, too." Max said.

"Us three and four, whatever it is." Ashley and her lover trotted up, "Wesley" sporting his trade mark scruffy beard and a fake scar on his neck.

"I guess that means Sul and I are off to see the sights. We'll be back in an hour." He kissed Essie goodbye and took Sul's hand more firmly in his own grip. "See all those people, Sul?"

"Uh-huh."

"Most of them are nice, ordinary guys. And Daddy and Essie- and everyone else you know on the show -made them happy, made them sad- made a story come to life for them, one hour a week, every week, for eight years." Jim murmured.

"That's a lot of hours."

"It is." Jim smiled quietly, slipping his performer lanyard into his button down shirt and lowering his cap some more. No one gave him a second glance as they slid through the lightly crowded walkway. It was still early. Jim shuddered to think what the place would look like in four hours, or even in one.

"You must be a good actor. I mean gooder than I even know 'cause I never saw the show. Much." Sul smiled up at his father.

_I'm a good actor. I made these people happy, I made them feel, and I am a good man. Someone my son can look up to and my wife can be proud of. What do you know. Spike and I come through again._ "Well, I try." Jim said modestly. "So- who do you want to see first?"

"Is there Spiderman?"

"Of course."

"Oh, boy!"

* * *

><p><em>"Oh. My. God. That is not our Dawnster." <em>

_ Dawn blushed as she drifted regally down the stairs. "The whole family didn't have to come. That's what the camera is for. You take a picture, you pass it out, y'know?"_

_ "But the real thing is such a beauty." Giles beamed. _

_ "I'm gonna cry."_

_ "Me, too!" Willow and Buffy clasped hands. _

_ "That good, huh?" Dawn asked self-consciously. She wore a strapless dark purple gown, floor length, with a cluster of faux diamonds in the center of the gathered bust. The sides of her long glossy hair were swept back into a twist with a diamante clip while the rest of her hair fell mid way down her back in a sienna sheen._

_ "That good." Spike offered her his hand and helped her down the last stair. "Bloody hell, Bit, how many inches are those heels?"_

_ "Two. The rest is me. You know I'm leggy." She gave a superior smile._

_ "You're only going to be able to dance with basketball players." Xander looked at her with a teasing smile, masking his own feelings of fraternal pride._

_ "I'm an equal opportunity dancer. I'll dance with tall, short, thin, fat. As long as they don't get grabby."_

_ "Ha. What a mistake that would be." Giles laughed and the rest joined in._

_ "I almost hope someone does. Would love to see what you can do all decked out like that." Spike joked._

_ "Are you kidding? Heels are a lethal weapon. Go girl power." Buffy smoothed Dawn's already perfect hair. She cleared her throat and snuffled suddenly. "Come on, pictures."_

_ "Guys, the limo is gonna be here soon. Really soon."_

_ "Then shut up and smile pretty." Xander commanded, sliding a careful arm around her waist, pulling Will into his other arm. Buffy took the first photo._

_ "Do you realize that if we want one with all of us in various combinations with Dawn and each other we're going to have to take at least thirty six shots?" Willow brought up._

_ "I so do not have time." Dawn groused._

_ "Your mates can wait. Or rather, have 'em come in. We'll get some snaps of all of you."_

_ Dawn knew when she was outvoted, and despite her protests, she was touched. And she did like being the center of attention once in awhile. "Okay, who am I to deny my fans?" She struck a dramatic, diva pose, and let the camera flash away._

* * *

><p><em> Claire, Jenna, and their two young men came giggling up to the house. "Okay, guys, listen." Jenna spoke sternly to their boyfriends. "Dawn's kinda shy about guys for some reason. I don't know what it is. But make her feel pretty- don't go crazy, but- you know, compliment her, and make sure you dance with her. I don't want her to think guys don't like her."<em>

_ "Don't like her?" Brandon, Jenna's date replied. "Lots of guys like her. I know two guys that asked her to go with them. She was nice about it, but she said she was going solo. Are you sure she doesn't have some guy someplace else? Wasn't there some older man?"_

_ "That's Mr. Giles! He's like her dad!" Claire smacked Brandon's arm. "Be polite. And watch out for her brother, Spike."_

_ "Spike? What is he, a pitbull?"_

_ "You could say that." Jenna muttered and rang the bell._

_ "Hi! Oh, wow, you girls look stunning!" Buffy gushed as she opened the door, giving a maternal appraisal to each one. "And guys, very, very handsome."_

_ "Help! My family has a camera and they're not afraid to use it!" Dawn shouted, laughingly, from the living room. _

_ "Come in and rescue her." Buffy sighed regretfully._

_ "One with just the boys. Okay- Giles in back- no wait. Xander, you go in back. No wait, I liked it better the first way." Willow made an attempt to pose Dawn and the three men of the family._

_ "Bugger. Xan, take the right, I'll take the left, Rupes, behind." Spike sorted it briskly._

_ Dawn smiled and mouthed "Help me!" at her girlfriends before being subjected to a variety of poses, both serious and silly. _

_ "You lot get in here." Spike waved the newcomers into the next round of pictures._

_ "You look amazing." Jenna grinned and whispered._

_ "Like a princess. No boy is going to be able to resist you."_

_ "They won't have to try too hard." Dawn rolled her eyes and then smiled for the camera. _

_ Eventually, the photo shoot was finished, and Dawn was released by her loving family. Almost. "Wait! I thought it customary to give a lady a corsage." Giles opened his sturdy leather satchel that he had brought to the house with him. Inside was a white orchid in a box, with a delicate white ribbon for the wrist._

_ "Oh, Giles! It's the date's job." Dawn blushed in pleasure as her mentor handed her the box._

_ "Well, in the absence of a date, I claim the privilege."_

_ "No can do, G-Man." Xander turned to Willow who pulled another box from her purse. Inside was a dark lilac rosebud nestled in baby's breath and fern. "Since this is from both of us, we outnumber you. She has to wear ours."_

_ "I can wear one on each wrist." Dawn held out her arms. "I'm special like that." She didn't care if it looked funny or wasn't done normally. She had more than enough people in her life who loved her and remembered the little details as well as the big earth-shattering stuff. She would wear both proudly and gloat silently when asked about it._

_ "We should have thought of that." Spike hissed to Buffy. _

_ "I did, but Willow told me they already thought of it and I thought two would look silly. Turns out three would have looked more silly, so we're good. Besides- we paid for one fifth of a limo. We're all good on the parental front."_

_ "I'll be home as soon as the after party is done. I love you. And you, and you, and you, and you." Dawn bussed each family member on the cheek before picking up her little purple handbag and tripping lightly into the night._

_ "Hey, where'd you get those?" Claire asked as Dawn slid into the seat with an exaggerated sigh and a cry of "Sweet freedom!"_

_ "This is from Giles. This is from Xander and Willow." Dawn held up each hand in turn._

_ Brandon leaned over to Jenna and whispered, "I don't think she's shy around guys, Jen. I think she has the good stuff at home. I know they're her family, but still. How's a guy going to live up to that?"_

_ "You're probably right." Jenna smiled back._

* * *

><p><em> Spike waved Willow, Giles, and Xander off the porch. "Meet up with you in an hour, Red?"<em>

_ "I'll be wearing my witch boots." Willow called back._

_ Spike shut the door and sighed. "Well, she's not gonna be lonely, that's for damn sure."_

_ "Who, Wills?"_

_ "No! Dawn. Did you see her? There's only one girl more beautiful in the entire world."_

_ Buffy nodded, smiling at his compliment. She and Spike had had a lot of discussions about what Dawn had told him, and even though she was sure she'd give in to stupidity and worry about her dating or having a boyfriend again, right now she felt content. "She's stronger than I am in a lot of ways."_

_ "She wasn't always. She learned from the best." Spike put his arms around Buffy's waist and rested his head on hers._

_ "I got so hung up about guys."_

_ "That happens if one hurts you bad enough right out of the gate." Spike murmured consolingly._

_ "And Dawn didn't get her heart smashed into tiny little pieces- well- not by a boy. Just life."_

_ "She'll get on the horse when she's damn good and ready, not a minute before. Got that stubborn streak like her sis. An' Joyce." He laughed softly into her hair. "I pity that man. Almost."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "He's gonna have five of the most powerful and protective people to contend with before he even gets to the fallin' in love stage with Dawn. An' once he does- then he deals with the lady herself. Poor bastard."_

_ "Hey!"_

_ "She's worth it. I know. I got the original model an' all the hell, all the pain, all the damned crazies you come with- it's all worth it."_

_ "I'm going to get a big ego if you keep talking like that." Buffy mumbled, blushing, into his shoulder._

_ "Nah. You love me jus' as much as I love you." Spike tilted her head up and kissed her soft lips. When they parted to allow her to breath, Spike smirked down at her. "So, this senior prom of yours that got shot to hell? Care to rectify part of it?"_

_ "Unless you have a tux on under those jeans..."_

_ Spike took her hand and pulled her to the stereo that rested beside the television in the entertainment center. He flipped it on and flicked through the stations. "Here's somethin' suitable, right, Luv?"_

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

_ "You know that night, when things were bad an' we were alone in some random house in Sunnyhell? When you asked- if I could just hold you?" Spike smiled down at her, something glistening in his eye. "That's what I did, right until sunrise. I watched you sleep, listened to you breathe. I thought- this is never gonna happen again. I gotta watch every second she just lies in my arms, one more second for me to treasure up. Before the world ends. Or before she realizes she doesn't need me, even though I love her. Like I said, before the world ends, at least for me."_

_ Too moved to speak, Buffy just nodded and kissed him, her mind pouring out a constant torrent of 'I love you, never leave you, will spend every moment together from now on...'_

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes

And thank God we're together

I just want to stay with you in this moment forever

Forever and ever

_"I love you, Spike. And even though I can't hear your heart beating, I do watch you sleep sometimes. When I lie beside you. You smile, and you look so happy, so innocent in your sleep. And I wish you never had anything but those smiles from me. Then I do- thank God that we're finally together."_

* * *

><p><em> "You're quiet." Willow took Xander's hand in her own as he passed by her in the living room, moving like he was underwater, unaware.<em>

_ "Huh?"_

_ "What's on your mind? Same thing that's on mine?"_

_ "Well, probably, Wills. With the whole bestest best buddy thing. Plus, the loving each other thing." He smiled tiredly._

_ "Prom?"_

_ "Oh, yeah." He sighed. "Weird night. Glad Dawnie has a little piece of normalcy in her life."_

_ "Me, too." Willow kept his hand, and pulled him into a comforting hug. _

_ When he pulled back, he tried to smile more realistically. "You know, I still need my dance." Walking to the kitchen, he turned on the radio they kept on top of the fridge, since they both liked to do chores while listening to some tunes. Flipping through the stations he settled on one._

I don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

_ "I'm in jeans. A-and tennis shoes." Willow stumbled over her words as he embraced her._

_ "I don't think it matters." They began to sway._

Cause I'd miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

_"Oz. And Anya." Xander smiled and raised an imaginary glass above his head. "The good ones that got away."_

_ Willow brought her hand up to his cheek, and then raised it in her own invisible toast. "How about to the good ones that didn't?"_

I don't want to miss one smile

I don't want to miss one kiss

I just want to be with you

Right here with you, just like this

* * *

><p><em>"We're not moving anymore." Buffy muttered against Spike's lips.<em>

_ "Mouths are. That counts." He whispered, and resumed kissing as they barely swayed._

I just want to hold you close

Feel your heart so close to mine

And just stay here in this moment

For all the rest of time Yeah yeah yeah

* * *

><p><em> Xander pillowed her head against his shoulder. If he concentrated, he could feel her heart beating with his. Something he'd thought he'd never feel again. Just for another minute, there wasn't going to be anyone but him and her in the world, in his mind, in this moment. He shut his eye tightly and could see a much younger girl, nervous in her formal wear, and him, hating wearing a tux. He wrapped his arms around her and selfishly decided to keep her to himself.<em>

I don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you babe

And I don't want to miss a thing

_This is the way it should have been, Willow thought dreamily. No. No, that's wrong. We had to have Oz to have Tara, and Anya was meant for Xander. And we miss them. We will always miss them. But right now... "I love you, Xan."_

_ "Love you, too, Babe. I'm glad you're with me now. We're not gonna waste one more moment, are we?"_

_ "Nope. We're not going to miss a single thing. Non- missing people, that's us." She scrunched up her nose suddenly. "That didn't sound right."_

_ "But I speak Willow." He brought his lips to kiss her rosebud mouth and smiled._

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

And I don't want to miss a thing

* * *

><p><em>"This isn't how slow dances are supposed to go." Buffy wiped her eyes, and then his. "The crying part."<em>

_ "Good thing this is our own private party, then, isn't it?" He kissed each one of her trembling eyelids. "But don't you cry anymore. I promise. We won't miss another moment, Luv."_

_ "How can you promise that?" She whispered tremulously._

_ "We're linked. I'll be with you 'til your last moment, won't I? An' then we get to go someplace new together."_

_ "I bet in heaven you only have to sleep if you want to." Buffy looked up at him with shining eyes._

_ "I bet you can have a heart beat if you ask real nice."_

_ They stared, unspeaking for a minute. "I think I'm gonna spend the first million years of eternity just lookin' at you." Spike finally laughed, a tight, wet chuckle that created an answering noise inside his wife. She nodded, wiping her eyes again with her wrist before she spoke._

_ "That's fair. Because I'm going to spend the first million years just listening to your heartbeat."_

* * *

><p>"I am so beyond beat. Oh my God, I have blisters on my fingers <em>and<em> my toes." Essie crashed onto the couch, not even bothering to put down the dozen plastic bags she was carrying. Jim laughed, but softly, so as not to disturb Sul as he slept in his arms. "Do you need help with him?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna put him in bed. One night without brushing his teeth won't kill him." He whispered, starting up the stairs.

"Wash the face paint off."

"I will."

"It's only seven. That's early for him to go to sleep."

"He's bushed. And I'm seriously considering joining him." Jim toted him up the steps.

She sat up. She hadn't meant to have fun. Or stay so long. But then camera crews came as they were leaving, and the event coordinators asked so nicely, and they were there for another forty five minutes. And by that time the head writer had made an appearance and had decided he missed everyone enough to take them to lunch in the private catering area set up for the performers.

By the time they finished lunch, Sul was beside himself with anticipation because the Bat Mobile was going to put in an appearance soon, and then because he heard that there was going to be a Spiderman aerial silk performance. And Jimmy was just in heaven because Mr. Nimoy said hi to him and Max.

Languidly, she began to shift through bags with her sore fingers. She must have signed a thousand photos. "So much for two souvenirs." She pulled out a pair of giant green Hulk hands, then a Spiderman mask, a pair of child sized Vulcan ears and a fake Klingon forehead, also child sized. She cursed softly as she found her "surprise" from Sul. Star Trek earrings. Great. Now she'd have to wear them.

"Did you know that red face paint is really hard to get off?" Jimmy came down stairs holding up two washcloths that looked like they'd been dipped in Mercurochrome.

"It doesn't help when the kid's entire face is covered in it." She laughed softly. "Is it harder to get off than fake blood?"

"Much, and way less sweet." He dropped the washcloths in the trash, feeling they were unsalvageable. "At least blood was just sticky." "Blood" on the show was a combination of Karo syrup, strawberry Quick, and food coloring. "This stuff was ingrained. It must have been good quality stage makeup."

"Well, I'm glad you got it off. Can you image what Sully would have done if he'd forgotten he was completely made up as Spiderman and walked into the bathroom in the middle of the night?"

"One look in the mirror and the scream would have woke the entire street. And with the houses as far apart as they are, that'd be an accomplishment."

"Mm." She nodded, slowly sitting up. She ran her hands across her face and head. "I have hat hair."

"Fetching look."

"Jim!"

"It is! It's sexy. If flat." For the first time he seemed fully aware that his wife was sitting in the midst of tons of bags. "Whoa. We bought more than I realized. I only bought one thing with him. Did you-?"

"One thing. Oh, well, the commemorative mug came with the chocolate milk, so I guess that's two."

"It occurs to me that I never passed on the 'two souvenirs" message to the rest of the 'family'."

"No, you kinda got lost after the first tirade. Which I enjoyed."

"It wasn't a tirade, it was just fatherly advice."

" 'You ever let go of my son's hand, even for one second, and I'll rip off your arm' is fatherly advice?"

"It's advice on how to not piss off _this_ father, so yeah."

"You're something else, Jim."

"Would you like me to pretend I didn't hear you give Ashley a similar speech? Something about 'If he has to go to the bathroom, you come get one of the guys and if you let him go in by himself I'll kill you?'." He raised one eyebrow. She had the grace to blush.

"Yes, please, I would like it if you could pretend you didn't hear that." She blew him a kiss. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Nope. Just to get out of these clothes and into a shower."

"Ooh, me too, me too!" Ess tried to spring up, but managed a slow rise instead. Jim came over and tugged her off the couch. "I'm out of shape. I haven't had to stand and walk for half a day in months."

"You're in fabulous shape. You just wore those sexy pointy boots."

"I had to! Buffy wears sexy shoes." She pouted.

"Yet another similarity between you and your character." He laughed. "But unlike her, you don't have the Slayer healing powers to prevent blistering from the sexy shoes."

"You think my boots are sexy?" The petite actress asked with a pleased grin.

"Baby- I think you're sexy even in those big yellow and pink slippers Sul bought for you."

"You're so getting husband points for that." She kissed him on his cheek, fluffing up his gelled hair.

"You get wife points to the max today. It meant a lot to me that you came, and that you didn't laugh."

"I'd never laugh at you." She protested. "Except when I can't help it." He growled playfully and squeezed around the waist as they traveled upstairs.

"Well, you never have to go to one again, I know it wasn't your deal. But thanks for coming once."

"I'll try anything with you. And- it was fun. But if you tell anyone I admitted that, you will be waking up to bleached blonde extremities, get it?" She threatened teasingly.

"As far as anyone knows, you just went to be a good wife and mother. He did love it. And there weren't too many weirdos. All _our_ fans were really respectful, nice people."

"It was nice to do something that was kind of family _and _work related." Essie nodded. "I'm glad you're a little bit of a geek. You know? If you didn't have anything unusual about you, you wouldn't be real, and I_ love_ that you're real."

Now standing in their bedroom, they began to slowly undress. Not out of a sense of sensuality, but because of a pleasant, sleepy feeling. "I'm glad you think so. And I owe you one now."

"Ice show?"

"Ice show? I thought that was a Buffy thing!" He cried.

"Yet another similarity, like a preference for sexy blue eyes and cute shoes." She giggled.

"I guess Sully'd like it. Are there good ones, or are they all like Disney on Ice stuff?"

"Are there good ones! Jim! Okay, first- hey! Hey, stop laughing."

"No. I can't help it." He laughed, shaking his head.

"I didn't laugh at you when you went nonverbal around the Star Trek stuff." She lightly kicked his shin.

"It's not like that, Sweetie." He tried to explain, while fending off more kicks.

"Then what is it like, Trekkie?"

"You and me, and our little hobbies." He found some extra strength and picked her up, now in just her bra and jeans, him with nothing on at all. "We'll go to an ice show, and you can teach me all about all the stuff I don't really want to know."

She pouted, then smiled and kissed his forehead, nose, and lips. "You said it. When you proposed. Love is a lot of little things. Friendship was high up on the list."

"You're one hot, sexy wife, Ess. But I gotta say, having you for my best friend makes it all taste better."

"I'm still your best friend?" She beamed.

"Better than ever. Doofus."

"Nerd."

"Twinkle toes."

"You better carry me to that shower right now, Mister."

"You gonna skate on me if I don't?"

"Carry me in and I'll show how flexible skaters are..."

"God, I love you. What a nice way to end the day." Jim sighed.

* * *

><p>"<em>The Pine Ridge High is going to end the prom with a slow number for all you lovebirds in just a minute. Take a breather, and then take your honeys and your stud muffins for the last dance!"<em>

_ "Dawn, come on. There are like ten guys who would kill to slow dance with you." Claire attempted to get Dawn to leave the punch bowl._

_ "And good for them. I don't slow dance with guys I don't feel close to. Besides, I fast danced my ass off. I'm going to need new feet after this." Dawn laughed. She'd danced with tons of guys, hadn't turned down anyone, from chess club geniuses and gothic wannabes to giants on the school varsity teams, she wasn't one to judge. And it was just one dance. She knew what it was like to feel like an outcast, and while she wasn't mondo popular girl at Pine Ridge, she had friends and had fun. That's what she wanted her prom to be about, not like some scary emotional disaster where your whole life was supposed to revolve around one boy and what you decided to do with him afterwards. "Go. Get on the floor, live the dream." She nudged Claire into the arms of her date._

* * *

><p><em> I am a foolish old man, Giles thought as he climbed out of the Jag and trotted to the gymnasium's side entrance. <em>She doesn't need me here, it will only add to rumors- which she quite likes, the little idiot, and I'm by no means dressed for it. Still...

_ Giles had left the others halfway through patrol, about midnight. He didn't need to be there every moment, and all the four of them wanted to talk about was proms and dances anyway. Not that he minded. He'd had his share of dances and discos in his day. No, it was that eerie feeling, the "someone walking on my grave" feeling he kept remembering. That moment when he'd finally been about to ask a saddened Buffy to dance and Angel appeared in time for the last song. He'd stepped in, and thank God, because Giles knew he was a pale comfort. _

_ But Dawn didn't have that luxury, no lover to spring in at the last moment and make sure she didn't stand on the sidelines alone for what was apparently supposed to be a major event in the life of every normal teenage girl. So, feeling like a fool, he decided to just swing by and check on her. _

She'll be dancing with some luck young man. I hope. Lord, it would be so much easier if she were._ Giles steeled himself and pushed into the doorway._

_ "Mr. Giles!"_

_ "Oh, hello Ellie. Chaperone duty?"_

_ "As ever. Are you here to pick up Dawn? They're just starting the last dance."_

_ "No, no she's off to the after party next, so I've been told. That's Buffy and Spike's department, really. I was just- running to the store for some - bread- and I decided to pop in and make sure she was having a good time." He lied with only a slight fumble._

_ "She's having a great time, from what I can see. She didn't come with a boy, but she's been on the floor for almost every dance."_

_ "Oh, that's good. Maybe I can just go without her-"_

_ "Seeing you? Sorry, Giles, you stick out like a sore thumb." Dawn came up behind him, arms crossed._

_ "Busted." Ellie smiled sympathetically and sidled away._

_ "Dawn."_

_ "Is this part of some secret Watcher rite of humiliation?" Dawn hissed._

_ "No, this is me being quite stupid and wanting to leave now." Giles hissed back._

_ "Uh-uh. You owe me a super quick explanation."_

_ "I had a sudden thought that you might be spending the last dance alone- a fate that almost happened to your sister. I was going to offer to take her around the floor, but Angel arrived at the critical moment. I just wanted to make sure you weren't sad on your own. I know- I know I'm not your father, or even your big brother, and that it's very cliched, but nonetheless- I felt like I should come and make sure my youngest was happy."_

_ Dawn sighed and batted him lightly on the arm of his white button down shirt. "I'm not my sister."_

_ "I know."_

_ "Three guys asked me for this dance, and I told them no."_

_ "Oh?"_

_ "It's a slow dance. I don't want some random guy holding me and feeling me up."_

_ "Did someone try that?" Giles' eyes flashed dangerously. _

_ "No! And if they did, I could so flip them." They shared a quick chuckle. The lights began to dim, and all over the floor couples clung to one another and began to sway with the chords of the song. "Anyway. Back to my point. I'm not Buffy. And you're not my dad, but you're way, way better than him, and you make me happy. So 'you done good', Giles." She slid her hand in his and began to tug him towards the floor._

_ "D-Dawn, wait, I'm delighted you're happy, and I'm going to head out now."_

_ "Nope. You came. You came to check on me and make sure I wasn't sad on my own. I wasn't. But I was kinda bummed about not dancing the last dance." She slid her arms loosely up his, keeping a respectful distance apart and trying not to laugh at his discomfiture._

_ "Well, don't let me stop you. Go and dance it. With one of the boys who asked you."_

_ "But I want my dance to mean something. Come on, Giles. You know you're not going to get to slow dance with me again until the Father-Daughter dance at my wedding."_

_ Giles sighed, and pressed his lips to her shining, if now frizzy, hair. "You promise not to encourage rumors about us?"_

_ "Just one?"_

_ "NO!"_

_ "I promise. You promise you will never, ever spy on me at a dance again?"_

_ "Just one?"_

_ "NO!"_

_ "I promise. If I must." Giles looked around. "It occurs to me, as it did in the parking lot, that I'm not dressed for this."_

_ "It's okay." Dawn shrugged._

_ "And that this song isn't that slow."_

_ "That's good. If it were any slower, Jenna and Brandon would be having sex on the floor."_

_ "Dawn!" _

_ "It's true!"_

_ "People are staring at us, can we please not be in the _middle _of the floor?"_

_ "You got yourself into this mess. You have to put up with it."_

_ "You haven't changed in a lot of ways, Dawn Summers." Giles gave in with a sigh. _

_ "I'm way cooler now."_

_ "I'll give you that. But you're still a persistent little pain in the bum."_

_ "You're cooler too- and you're still the same in a lot of ways." Dawn smiled up at him, listening to the song winding down. They'd missed half of it, arguing, balking, being themselves, really._

All my time is frozen in motion

Can't I stay an hour or two or more

Don't let me let you go

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

_"You're all grown up." Giles smiled down at her. "Part of me wishes I could keep you little. Where you didn't worry about whether or not there was a man worthy of dancing the last dance with you." _

_ "I'm not _all _grown up. I'm just _a_ grown up. There's more growing to do. And besides-", she smiled into his crinkled eyes, "I didn't have to worry about finding a worthy man- you just showed up." _

_ "You know what I mean."_

_ "Yes, and I know I worry about you finding a girl, 'cause you're way older than me anyway. I've got time. _Your _clock is ticking."_

_ "Yes, thank you." Giles glared, but he was smiling underneath._

Here's to the nights we felt alive

Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry

_"I'm just saying. I have a good outline for what my Mr. Right has to have. He has to be able to go through hard times and not fall apart- much. He has a lot to measure up to."_

_ "Should I be feeling flattered?"_

_ "Yes. You, Spike, and Xan. Feel flattered. You've set the Dawn Guy-o-meter somewhere around Everest level."_

_ "Just remember we have our flaws. Especially Spike."_

_ Hey!"_

_ "And, Dearheart, you take all the time in the world to find that bloke. He'll be worth the hunt, I'm sure. In the meantime- " Giles twirled her once, " one of us will always be here to take our Cinderella to the ball."_

Here's to goodbye

Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

_The lights went down and applause rang out as the DJ made his closing comments._

_ "Have a good night, Little One. Be safe and have fun." Giles kissed her wrist and started to weave through the crowd. He hadn't gotten too far when he felt himself tugged back._

_ Dawn was beaming at him. "You're not going to go like that, are you? With the all sad 'my baby girl is growing up' face on, are you?"_

_ "Well, yes, I had rather planned on it." Giles admitted with a laugh._

_ "Don't, or you'll make me feel all big and far away and 'this is it, my youth is gone' and stuff like that."_

_ "Heaven forbid we should reflect on our lives." Giles shook his head._

_ "Tell you what, instead of us doing the big sad catharsis on our parent-child, Watcher-Watcher-to-be bond tonight, why don't we do it tomorrow? Over pancakes and eggs at Denny's?"_

_ "Tomorrow?"_

_ "Yep. Tomorrow. You're still gonna be there for me, aren't you? Even though I'm turning into an adult?"_

_ "Just try and stop me." Giles hugged her suddenly. "I'll pick you up. Call with a time."_

_ "I will. Night, Giles. I love you." _

_ "Received and returned, Dawn." He said, forcing himself to remain in control of his more paternal emotions as he looked at the beautiful, confident young woman he had once thought he'd never see in anything but a whining pout and scuffed up sneakers._

_ "Don't get all British guy on me. _I love you_, Giles." She crossed her arms and pouted resolutely._

_ "Very well. I love you, too."_


	10. Chapter 10

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for Lithium Reaper who wanted to hear the details of Xander and Willow's passionate encounter, which led to a surprise, as you know if you read Starting Over._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part X

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXVI of Starting Over)

_ "How're you doing, Wills?" Xander looked in amusement at Willow who was jogging quickly and happily beside him. "Happy?" _She looks like a big, bouncy puppy when she's relaxed like this. I love her. God, I love this girl. My Will.

_ "Freaked- a little. But very happy. That was a good piece of advice Spike gave me."_

_ "Please, Will! Never say _Spike _gives good advice. It tips the karmic balance of the world or something."_

_ "No, really. I was getting freaked out, 'cause I told some girls you were 'mine'. And that's- you know- that's a big deal to me, and I was going to go beer myself... But then Spike said I could drink all I want, but you'd still be mine in the morning. That's true, which made me calm down and get over myself- some anyway. And no one is wigged! Everyone is cool with it. Hence, Spike gave good advice. And hence the happy, snuggly feeling."_

_ "Everyone is beyond cool with it, Willow, they're happy. Really happy for us."_

_ "This is a thoroughly good night. Dawnie graduation goodness and family support for us being lifemates. This day is perfect now."_

_ "You have to stop saying that, you know. Because technically it's Saturday at this point. That means we have another - uh- twenty one-ish hours to get through and we're on a patrol by ourselves. So the imperfect part of the day is probably going to leap out at us right now and-"_

_ "Where's the Slayer? Is it just her little sidekicks tonight?" A deep growling voice suddenly assaulted their ears._

_ "See? Meet Mr. Imperfection." Xander whirled and found himself face to face with a massive, ugly vampire. "Whoa. Dude, did you used to be a line backer?"_

_ "Shut up! I've come for miles to take on the original and I want her! Where is the Slayer?"_

_ "She's busy right now." Willow said in a high pitched voice. "Can I give her a message?"_

_ "You came from miles away? I knew you weren't from around here. No one calls us 'sidekicks'." Xander fired a bolt easily into the vampire- he almost always had his weapon drawn during patrols- and hit the vampire just south of the heart. "Sorry, I usually try to make it a clean kill."_

_ "I will not be fobbed off on a one-eyed weakling and a little girl!" The monster yanked the wooden shaft free with a bellow of pain as Xander reloaded. He flailed his fists, catching Xander and hurling him to his knees before turning to Willow._

_ "Weakling? _Weakling_?" Willow felt more outrage at the slur on Xander than she did on herself. Her eyes darkened slightly and a nastily insincere smile appeared on her lips._

_ "Dude, you'll thank me for this- I'm way nicer than she is when she's pissed." Xander panted from his spot on his knees. His second shot hit the vampire in the back and managed to find the heart, sending him up with a shower of dust._

_ "Big, arrogant, bully vamp!" Willow stomped on the dust as she ranted. _

_ "Take it easy, Wills."_

_ "Meanie!" She gave the dirt one last kick before they could move on._

_ "It's really my fault, Sweetie. I think I'm a little too relaxed. Full of good vibes, you know? I should be more alert." He slid another wooden shaft in his crossbow and reset the automatic reloader, rendering it usable twice in quick succession. He moved a stake from his jeans pocket to his hand._

_ "It's a happy night- there should be a -a gentleman's agreement between us and the local baddies. We should get two weeks worth of holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and big event nights off. They wouldn't cause any trouble, and we wouldn't kill them. Isn't that fair?" She asked plaintively._

_ "Very fair. Never gonna happen. Baddies, by right of being bad, don't play fair." Xander laughed, and looped an arm around her shoulders._

_ "Yeah. I guess that is kind of oxymoronic." Willow heaved a sigh. "It'd be nice though. As it is- we should boogie and finish this sweep. We still need to do a soda run."_

_ "Oh, yeah. Geez, I wonder how long Dawnie's party is going to last?"_

_ "I don't know. Maybe until three? Buffy was getting antsy, she wants them all out so we can give our gifts."_

_ "Do you have the tickets?"_

_ "No, you did. In your jacket pocket."_

_ "That's okay, then. The jacket is still hanging up in their closet. You have the bracelet?"_

_ "In my purse. Which is on Buffy's bed, so again- that's okay. Do you think she'll like it? The bracelet? It is kind of an obscure reference."_

_ "She'll love it. You know she loves studying magic and spooky stuff with you. And thank God, 'cause research was never my bag."_

_ "It was! You just don't like it."_

_ "That's what I meant by 'never my bag'." Xander ruffled her hair and they made their way through one graveyard and on to the last one. "Buffy's not gonna be happy that another out of towner came looking for her."_

_ "Let's not tell her. He's dusty, and he wasn't an uber vamp or anything. Just another bigmouth. And obviously not that smart. If he had brains he would stay _away _from wherever Buffy was." Willow huffed angrily._

_ "You know you're cute when you're angry. As in regular angry, not black hair and black eyes angry."_

_ "Are you saying you wouldn't find me cute if I dyed my hair?" Willow pouted playfully._

_ "No! No, just let Clairol Instant Brunette or something like that do it, not evil sorcery."_

_ "Fine, make me do it the hard way." She rolled her eyes._

_ "You know what I would love to see you do some magic on?" Xander let his voice slide into a lower register, a husky voice of temptation. _

_ Willow felt her insides melt in a sudden hot trickle. This was a more recent development. Usually they got a wild torrent of passion that pushed them together and upstairs. But lately, once they'd begun to admit they were in love (even if just to each other), and they'd been acting as more of a couple, not just friends who loved each other physically as well as emotionally, she'd felt herself start wanting him. Getting aroused even when he wasn't there. Thinking about and looking forward to being intimate with him. It was real love, real attraction- real wonderful. "Wha- what do you want me to do magic on?" She asked, slightly breathless._

_ "This town. Well- the parks and cemeteries. We're trying to do a night's sweep in an hour. It'd be great if you could just pinpoint where there was actual activity."_

_ "Oh." She tried not be disappointed. "I could do something like that. I'd need a map and some ingredients to do a locator or scrying. But I can try to get a pointer."_

_ "Okay." Xander nodded, and stepped back, watching her close her eyes and fold her hands. Her lips moved silently, and her head jerked once, forward, and once to the left. "Willow?" He shouldn't have asked her to do magic, not for such a lazy reason. But it wasn't lazy, he reminded himself. It was because Dawnster's big night was tonight and family was of the super huge importance. "Wills, are you-"_

_ "Straight ahead. This cemetery. And then- that direction." She pointed her hand where her head had moved. "What's over there?"_

_ "Bluff Park." Xander kissed her lips suddenly. "You are amazing."_

_ "Thank you." She blushed, and the warm gooey feeling came back. And this time, when Xander's eye met hers, she knew he felt the same sweet fuzzies. Too bad the smoochies would have to wait until they got home after daylight. If they could stay awake._

* * *

><p><em> "I don't hear any vamps. No fresh graves. And it is summer, there isn't as much night. I wonder what your witch mojo was pointing us to?" Xander hissed as they walked, eyes scanning, heads constantly turning.<em>

_ "I don't know. Vamps can be sneaky..." Willow hissed back. "It could be something else though. Some harmless demon. I can send it back home to its own dimension."_

_ "Or it could be a great big huge demon of the non harmless type." Xander said, trying not to appear nervous. Knowing this was their official job, their paying job, the "family business", had helped allay a lot of fears. Surviving almost every evil he could think of helped him feel braver as well. But he still didn't like not knowing what was out there, and he _really _didn't like walking into it with Willow when they didn't know what was out there._

_ "Don't think negative. My spine just went all shaky." She mumbled, arm winding through his as she tried to make herself fearless. _Think of what you did. You are one badass little wicca. No, I don't want to be. I want to be good. Which means not tapping into my powers too much or too hard... hence the spine shakiness.

_"Is that one of those grave markers? I see some light, could it be from one of those grave lamp thingies?" Xander asked, pulling her arm more tightly into his, the other arm thrusting the crossbow forward._

_ "The lamps are usually red or blue. That's a white glow. And it's bleach bright white."_

_ "Spook?"_

_ "Something." Willow tilted her head and moved towards the eerie glow coming from the tree line at the edge of the cemetery. "Oh. It's a- a manifestation. Or maybe a wood spirit. Probably harmless. It's so little." _

_ Xander followed her gaze. A white shimmering column of mist that only came up to his knees danced and swayed in one spot. "Little doesn't mean harmless, Will. Remember Gachnar? Irish fear demon about the size of Barbie?"_

_ "Good point. I can do a call."_

_ "This is no time to sound like a duck or a moose, Willow."_

_ "No! A- shut up and listen." She shook her head, deciding that explaining would only waste time. "We seek the nature of your calling, would know the nature of your binding, the reason for your presence in this realm, the -"_

_ "You're pissing it off!" Xander suddenly realized the column was unraveling and spidery tendrils of the mist were snaking towards them at an alarming speed._

_ "We're not going to bother you if you're peaceful!" Willow interrupted her own chant. _

_ "I don't think it cares!" Xander yanked Willow backwards, hard, into his arms as one finger of white light tried to attach itself to her ankle._

_ Willow shivered as it brushed her. That was no soft, friendly presence. It was cold and bleak and sucked the emptiness of death from the graveyards into its own self. And it probably wouldn't say no to a nice hot, live meal, she realized. "Be bound in corporeal form!" She held up a palm and blue light flashed from her in a single blaze._

_ Xander rocked back onto his rear with the force of holding her when she did magic. "Wow. Wow, that's- creepy abstract." He looked at the spot where the mist had originally been gathered, and it now took the form of a wizened, female like creature, with huge black eyes and long weeping mouth._

_ "To the void return." Willow gasped. With a warbling shriek, it dissipated._

_ "Whoa. Wills, nice." Xander praised. "What was that thing?"_

_ "I don't know." She shook her head. They could look it up later._

_ "Where'd you send it?"_

_ "Hopefully to its home realm. But 'to the void return' is kind of an all purpose banishing. I sent it from this dimension to someplace else. Not here. That was pretty much my main goal. It likes death. I don't."_

_ "Not compatible, it would never have worked out for you two." Xander quipped. He held her close for a second. She was still vibrating with power. Her soft, full breasts thrust into his chest as she returned his hug and he felt himself get stiff. Vibrating, soft, clinging to him... "We need to go take care of that one other problem, and pick up some soda so we can get back to Dawnie." He said hoarsely. _Stop. Stop thinking about what it would feel like inside her when her body is spasming like this. Stop thinking about how good it would feel, because this is her power, not your plaything. Respect the mojo, man.

_"R-right. The other thing. Um. Bluff Park." She let go of him. He was so solid, so warm and real and comforting. Like Tara in a lot of ways. Tara was her anchor during their entire relationship. Xander had been her anchor for their entire lives. She was relieved when his arm found hers again and they went into the dark together, almost at a run. "We're making good time. Maybe I should do this every night."_

_ "Will..." Xander warned._

_ "What? It's what they pay me for!"_

_ "But we'd still miss a lot that way. Y'know, clues, strange signs and symbols, victims in need of help. And- you know the other reasons why. Magic. Use sparingly." Xander reminded her gently. _

_ "Fine. Be sensible." She poked him in the ribs. "I'll go easy on the magic for the rest of the night, okay?"_

_ "That's my girl."_

_ The trouble in Bluff Park was easy to spot. A pile of earth lay disturbed and churned up on one of the bike trails through the park. "Great. A traditionalist." Xander muttered._

_ "Maybe a confused fledge. All the vampire lore out there, but no one gives the vampires the books. Should we talk to Spike about that? He could write it. 'So, You've Just Become a Vampire- Fifty Ways to Avoid Evil and Lead a Good Unlife'. That's long, but it's a working title." Willow shone her pocket flashlight across the trail, looking for scatterings of dirt. _

_ "Great plan, Will, but I think we're on a staking, not rehabilitating, mission ninety nine point nine percent of the time." Xander bent and felt the earth. "Still wet. Just clawed his way out. Probably done by someone recently turned, but who had a proper burial. He buried this one and left him. Probably didn't know they could rise without a burial. This one's gonna be starving and out of his mind." Xander's breath quickened as his adrenaline began to pump anew._

_ "Oh, goody. Crazy and hungry." Willow followed Xander for a few feet, heading into the woods on the side of the bike path. "At least the Midnight Mart is right on the corner here."_

_ "Honey, he's not gonna be looking for the Mega Splash and chips."_

_ "No, but we can get soda quick after we stake this guy."_

_ "Actually, he's probably heading there now. He'll smell the humans. God, I hope no one's camping out here tonight. The kids around here are smart enough to know better, right?"_

_ "Right. It's the new comers and the hard core joggers who-" Willow stopped talking. "Did you hear something?"_

_ "Yeah..." Xander gripped his stake in the hand that was setting the tension on the crossbow. "Wills?"_

_ "I have it." She whispered, her own stake sliding out of her pocket and into her palm. "He's gotta be close. I feel the creepies."_

_ "I know." They were conversing in mere whispers now. "Usually newly risen ones aren't so subtle."_

_ "Okay, you can eat now. Save one for me." The voice was coming from above their heads, which made it all the more unsettling._

_ Willow and Xander looked up in time to see a slavering vamp in game face. A calmer, still in his human features vamp was holding it back as they perched in a large crux of an oak. Only it was at that moment that the presumed creator of the newly risen one released it, and vamped as well. "Crap." Xander got one shot off, but the snapping of branches deflected it as the vampires lunged. _

_ "Look, I hate to do this to a former person, but-" Willow found herself under the muddy, crazed newbie as it descended, "I kinda have to!"_

_ "Don't talk, just stake!" Xander was dealing with the older, more experienced creature. It knew how to hunt. It constantly aimed for Xander's blind side. "That's a mistake, dude!" Xander grappled with it. "I was trained by - the best- but don't tell him I said so! That side- ain't my weak side- anymore!" Xander met the monster blow for blow, until positions were reversed, then equalized. He wanted to grab a quick look at Willow but he couldn't, only having one eye and it being vital for his survival at the moment. Instead he listened for her. _

_ "You are so dead! Well, deader!" Willow used her knees and hips and elbows to keep the fangs from meeting her skin. The desperation and the supernatural abilities made her assailant stronger than she could handle. She couldn't hope to push him off._

_ "Hang in there!" Xander shouted to his lover. His crossbow couldn't be retracted when he was chest to chest with this vamp. His stake hand was bent up between their bodies, and the vampire was trying to get a bite in any way he could. Xander's trapped hand reached for the trapped crossbow- and freed one of the slender wooden spikes from the reserve under the main bolt. He let himself go limp._

_ "Thank you! Most humans aren't stupid enough to fight." The vampire sounded exasperated and oddly grateful that Xander was caving in. He lunged- and felt the trapped hands of his victim suddenly lock._

_ "I'm not most humans." Xander hissed, and shoved the crossbow bolt home. In the shower of dust, he rolled, sprawling on his knees to get to Willow._

_ Willow knew she couldn't get him off. So she pulled him on, suddenly not resisting him anymore. She locked her small arms around him tight, and rolled. Her arms sprang free and slammed down, a stake clasped in her joined fists, the second the creature was under her. When she looked up to see Xander, she was straddling a pile of dust, flushed and triumphant. _

_ "Wow." Xander nodded appreciatively at her, a certain tenseness in his voice proving that it wasn't just her fighting skills he was admiring._

_ "Wow yourself." She blushed. He looked incredible in the moonlight shafting through the heavy cover of broken branches, tousled and panting, crouched like that. He didn't look as calm and unruffled as Spike did after a fight. He looked like it was hard work to stay alive and win. And it excited her all the more, made him seem so much more powerful, more powerful even than her. He didn't have anything special to fall back on, there was no hidden power in him. He just did it. Just himself, an ordinary man- slaying demons and protecting the innocent. The true hero. "Really wow."_

_ "You look hot after you kill something, Wills." Xander spoke his lustful thoughts out loud, unable to resist the urge._

_ "Do you mean hot sweaty or hot- mmmfft!" Xander's sudden lunge sealed her lips and answered her question. His mouth was hungry and fast on hers, dropping kisses all over her lips and the edges of her cheeks around them. "Oh." Willow managed to gasp out when he released her._

_ "You're amazing."_

_ "No. Not like you are." Suddenly she was just as hungry for him, and she resumed the kiss where he'd left off, biting and nibbling his lips and tongue, hands tangling in his hair._

_ "Stop. We have to- oh, God, Wills." Her hands had found his way up under his shirt and then down to the bulge in his jeans._

_ "We have to stop. Right." She nodded, not stopping in the least._

_ " Because Dawn- the party..." He started letting his own hands wander, up her crumpled sweater, snagged and dirty, finding the edge of her bra, palms pressing up, finding nipples that were already hard. "Baby?" Wow. She was truly aroused, really wanting him._

_ "We don't have time to go home and- and you know... Right?" She snuggled closer into his arms, her knee brushing his groin, her words asking him to stop, and her body clearly in disagreement._

_ "We don't have time to go home." Xander suddenly rose and pulled her with him, pushing her back against the broad trunk of the tree that had been the hiding place for the vamps. _

_ "Out here?" She gasped._

_ "No one but the six of us and the bad guys would be out here at this hour. We killed the bads. Four of us are at a party. That means only the two of us should be here." He looked into her eyes, only seeing the gleam of them in the dark. "So we're alone."_

_ "I- we should get the soda. W-we shouldn't waste patrolling time." Her hands were raking across the firm denim clad rear, pulling him to herself._

_ "You're right, Wills. Patrol. Soda. Party." He nodded, moaning when he felt her heat press to his hardness, even through two layers of thick fabric._

_ "We're not listening, are we?"_

_ "Oh, I'm- listening," Xander slid his fingers firmly up and down her zipper and then the seam between her legs, "but our bodies and our brains are having a massive argument." Willow tossed her head back, only to bash it into the tree. "Willow! Wills!"_

_ "Owwie. I'm fine, I'm fine. We just beat up vamps, I can take a bump on the noggin. Except that we shouldn't be up against this tree. And I shouldn't be- unzipping you."_

_ "But I love you. Does it matter where?" He laughed softly, rubbing the back of her head with one hand, the other digging into the soft skin of her belly as he reached into her waistband and pushed the button open on her pants._

_ "I guess not. But we have to hurry, okay?"_

_ "Not a problem. Not for me that is, but for you?"_

_ "I don't think it'll be a problem, Baby." Willow shimmied her hips, and between that and his hand, her pants puddled to her ankles. _It'd be easy, in fact._ She was already so wet._

_ "Damn." Xander moaned softly, overwhelmed at the incredibly erotic feeling of being out in the open, about to give into primal passions- and also mildly stumped about how to do this quickly while still half dressed. With a sudden grunt and a heave, he stepped between her legs, and lifted her to his waist, her cloth bound ankles wrapped around his hips._

_ "Ahh. Oh, Sweetie, Xan..." Willow wrapped her arms around his neck, her back braced on the tree._

_ "This should be a willow, for my Willow." Xander gasped against her throat as he unzipped himself at long last- no it had only been a few minutes, it just felt like he'd been holding off for hours._

_ "Your Willow. I like the sound of that. Ooooh, my God, ohhh, Xan!"_

_ "And I like the sound of that." He laughed hoarsely as he buried himself inside in one thrust. He rocked up against her, hands cupping her smooth creamy cheeks and marveling because he'd never felt himself in her so deep before._

We need to try this angle at home._ Willow winced as his tip brushed a soft but unyielding spot inside. Wow. He's in- in until there's no room left. She'd thought it would hurt to be in this deep, but it didn't. He held her enough so she could still shift, and the angle became intensely pleasurable. "Xan. Love you."_

_ "Oh, yes, Wills, love you, too. Is that good, Baby? Is that good, are you gonna be able to cum like this?" He was going to be able to, and almost immediately. He was trapped inside her, and there was incredible friction and heat all over his length, but particularly on the tip. Plus, he chuckled softly as he heard her soft whimpering moan, this was a whole new side of Willow. Willow without inhibitions. Maybe he'd never see it again, but he was going to enjoy it now._

_ "I'm going to be fine. Beyond fine." Willow tilted back again, making the angle of his penetration steeper, letting him grind to her g-spot on each inward thrust, and also managing to trap her clit against the coarse hairs surrounding his base. For the extra needed push into oblivion- all she had to do was open her eyes. She forced them open, focusing on something other than the internal waves of pleasure long enough to see him. Watching him work against her, that clenched jaw and the shoulders hunched forward. Even under the tee shirt he wore she could see the muscles rippling in a convex arc as he held her, loved her. _

_ And then he opened his eye and raised his head from her throat to look at her. His short dark hair swept damply over his forehead and his face was caught halfway in shadow and moonlight. His mouth was slack, but smiling. He was the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen, and the one who'd stayed in her life the longest. "I love you, Will." He panted._

_ She didn't explode around him- she suffocated him, clamping down so hard and fast and desperately that he couldn't move. And didn't want to. Half her face was in shadow but he could see her wide green eyes locked with his, luminous in the dark. Felt her trembling. Not from some spell or some power. From him. _

_ She didn't cry out when she came, she let out a silent screech through taut lips. He, on the other hand, let out three deep, satisfied grunts, in perfect unison with the three hard spurts he released all the way inside her._

_ They sank down, still locked, heads reeling until they rested forehead to forehead. "I love you, too." She said belatedly._

_ Xander just laughed. "You okay?"_

_ "I'm so totally better than okay." She felt him tugging on her pants and shook her head. "You're still between my legs. You have to get up. Then put me down."_

_ "Oh. Sorry. I don't know why, but I'm not thinking clearly." He struggled up and they disentangled themselves._

_ "Could be the crazy wild animal sex we just had against a tree." She adjusted her pants, feeling their slick combined heat trapped inside her as her walls still spasmed in aftermath. _

_ "Mm, my wild thing." He gave a playful grin._

_ "_My_ wild thing. Like- like Tarzan. Only more culturally appropriate and respectful to women." She babbled._

_ "Right. Me, Xander, you Willow- an equally powerful individual. We can both do the chest pounding thing and swing from vines." He teased._

_ "Oh my God! We had sex! Against a tree! Dawn is waiting and we were making smoochies in vamp dust!"_

_ "Shit, the soda." Xander grabbed her hand and tugged her away, off towards the small convenience store and pharmacy at the corner of Main and Bluff Park._

_ "We have to run- oof!"_

_ "Your legs are all orgasm wobbly." He pulled her up piggy back style and trotted with her for a minute. "Okay- now mine are just all old and tired wobbly." He put her down._

_ "That's okay. Just as long as we hurry up and get back. If we missed anything important while were gone, I'm going to have mondo guilt. Cookie-making guilt." They reached the convenience store and hurriedly bought several liters of soda, then set off towards home, walking briskly._

_ "You- you don't feel guilty for real, do you?" Xander asked softly as they walked home._

_ "Not about loving you. But still. We are so, so bad. We were supposed to patrol." Willow whimpered._

_ "We patrolled. Got three. And a half, if you count that weird short, wispy thing in the cemetery."_

_ "But the- us against the tree. That was bad! Very bad!"_

_ "No more of that, then." Xander gave her a smile. "You want strictly vanilla, bedrooms and candles, I got it covered."_

_ "I'm not saying that. I just mean-" Willow bit her lip. "I feel naughty." Her lip escaped from her teeth and curved into a smile. "And it was fun."_


	11. Chapter 11

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story. More happens in the next chapter as well. (Part of this chapter is taken directly from Behind the Scenes, but not much)_

_Smutty Spuffy scene at the end, not everyone's preference, just warning you._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XI

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXVIII and XXIX of Starting Over)

Consultation

_"Dr. Vance."_

_ "Mr. Giles?"_

_ "Thank you for meeting with me." Giles shut the door to the rented suite in a large London hotel. He couldn't take her to where the Alliance met, or to Robson's, nor would he meet her anywhere she suggested, in case it was a trap. It could still be a trap. The suite had to suffice. "No trouble in getting here?" He cleared his throat._

_ "The gentleman who picked me up was very helpful." Dr. Vance shifted nervously. She'd been assured by Robson that this man was trustworthy, interested in the occult, a believer in mystical things like she was, and that he needed help. _

_ Giles sat, trying not to look nervous. He'd never been good at what he called "Travers-ing", using your suits and your money and your 'oh, aren't I something scary with my power and connections' to intimidate people. He much preferred to do it himself, fist to face, all with a glint in his eye. But one didn't always have the luxury, and he also didn't want to intimidate a perfectly innocent woman. Merely impress upon her the importance and secrecy of the situation. "Mr. Robson says that you recently helped a very- unusual- couple deliver their child. And that you were able to do some careful, but humane study on the parents and child before and after the birth."_

_ Vance bridled slightly. "All couples are unusual. There is no 'normal' couple or 'normal' child, Mr. Giles." She hadn't expected an utterly charming, relaxed grin to come over his face, but it did, and made her severe tone drop away. "I did help a couple that many would consider to be different."_

_ "But we're all different, that's true." Giles sighed in relief. The woman had her feet on the ground- seemingly, not rabidly slavering after mythical creatures, she wasn't an "experience hunter", wanting to catalogue a list of things she'd seen. "People are people, perhaps some have- something extra."_

_ "Well, that's what makes life interesting." Vance laughed, short and silvery._

_ "Quite." Giles started with formalities, things he already knew. A good way to gauge reactions. "You kept a detailed case file for this couple, and you passed on some of the basic research to Mr. Robson. Why is that?"_

_ "The father of the child asked me to." She said simply, somewhat evasively, in Giles' opinion. When Giles remained silent she sighed and explained a bit more. "Not to him specifically, but to his organization. The father had a friend, a young man, also- afflicted- in the same way. He said he heard Mr. Robson was trustworthy, and that this information might help others. That was all he wanted." _

_ "It's nice to see you respect the privacy of your clients." He hid a half smile behind a cough. "May I read the file you brought with you?"_

_ Vance began to reach into the dark brown bag at her feet, but stopped. "Not yet." She looked at him appraisingly. "I heard good things about you from Mr. Robson, but one thing I did not hear, was who you are and what you want. Specifically. Help with a pregnancy or a delivery isn't exactly a lot to go on. There must be a thousand doctors more prominent that me that you should have considered first. So why do you need my help, Mr. Giles?"_

_ "Fair enough. Do you believe that there might be more to this world than most people usually expect? In terms of- the types of people?" Giles asked carefully._

_ "You must know I do, you know about this child I helped deliver."_

_ "Well, aside from that one incident-"_

_ "Mr. Giles- you don't work in a London hospital for fifteen years without seeing some unbelievable things you can't properly explain away. Even spending another three strictly in obstetrics, not pulling a casualty shift or working the clinic- has shown me plenty of highly unheard of incidents."_

_ "That said, you don't just stick to the medical procedures, do you?"_

_ "We're talking about you first." Vance crossed her long, curved calves and set her jaw, shifting in her seat to look more commanding._

_ Giles decided to out with it. For one thing, those legs had distracted him, and for the other, someone had to trust someone to move things forward. She'd shown a lot of faith in meeting him in a hotel suite, of all places. She was brave and obviously knowledgeable. And again, good Lord, those legs..."Very well. What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave this room."_

_ "Go on." Dr. Vance settled her narrow spectacles further down the bridge of her nose and her gray eyes peered at him over the rims._

_ Giles found himself drifting off topic when she did that. A woman in glasses always had sent him over the edge. Well, a certain type of woman, a woman peering over the glasses, looking sophisticated yet -_ No, mustn't think like that. Buffy needs me. _"My daughter is expecting."_

_ "Oh." Vance nodded. "Your daughter- is not what the world would call normal?" Poor man. Maybe his child had been bitten by a werewolf. Transformed. Was partially demon. On the mother's side of course- unless this man hid it well._

_ "Far from it. So is her husband. He's- he's a good man now." Giles said stiffly, hoping that Spike would never hear this part of the conversation. "But before..."_

_ "I'm not here to judge." Vance couldn't imagine what the situation entailed to make the man across from her look so grave._

_ "He is a vampire. She is a slayer. I don't know if those terms mean anything to you-"_

_ "Vampire does." She narrowed her eyes. "I know they're real, Mr. Giles. I've seen too many coincidentally spaced 'knife puncture wounds' in the neck to know. This is London. There's something for everyone here. Millions of people, for whatever your purpose."_

_ "He is good. He has a soul, and he loves her very much."_

_ "Not to be indelicate, Mr. Giles, but does she love him equally as much? Because vampires being undead can't produce live sperm to fertilize the ovum."_

_ "You were indelicate, but I forgive you- this once." Giles' eyes turned hard. "They were given a talisman as a wedding gift. The Amore Immaculate, the-"_

_ "The original one!" Vance leaned across the table, eyes lighting up._

_ "Everyone knows about the bloody thing but me." Giles muttered under his breath. "The original, yes. By your reaction, I assume you know what it does?"_

_ "Fertility talisman, grants a child to those who have a pure love and a true desire for a child."_

_ "Very succinctly put." Giles allowed himself to smile once more._

_ "I am an obstetrician, Mr. Giles. Fertility rites and artifacts always interest me. That and my strange obsession into the shadowy part of the world." She laughed again, a softer version of the silvery laugh._

_ "You do know about- about night creatures then?"_

_ "Many. I don't usually-" Vance leaned forward again, speaking more earnestly. "Mr. Giles, I used to work Casualty and the hospital clinic. I helped someone years ago, I don't know what kind of being he was, what what he was mixed with. But he had small horns when I took off his hat, and I didn't say anything. Some good Samaritan brought him in, found him bleeding in an alley. I treated him and he left in one piece in a few hours- completely healed, oddly enough. After that, sometimes people would ask for me. 'Unusual people'. I didn't ask questions at first, and it wasn't often- now I know that most species of humanoid demon heal quickly on their own- but I got a reputation. Finally, I did ask one young woman if she could give me some information about the people I was treating, and she showed me to a little shop in Cardwell Street-"_

_ "McHouls?" Giles was so excited he interrupted._

_ "Yes! The only-"_

_ "Real occult shop in London." He finished, smiling fondly. "I used to get all of my supplies there." The memory of what used to happen with those supplies made him wince. He left the subject. "Well, one of the few. The only one it's safe to go into after dark, or it was in the seventies. I've been horribly rude, please go on."_

_ "McHouls had books and I studied them. I bought a few. I didn't dare touch the spell books or magic supplies, of course, but the volumes on demons- those interested me. And the volumes on fertility rites and rituals. I was already going in for my specialization by that time." She looked at the man across from her with new eyes. "Are you a magic user, Mr. Giles?"_

_ "Only when needed." He said firmly. "I begin to understand now. You gathered a reputation. Word spreads unaccountably fast in the demon world." He let himself relax. It would have to be verified. He'd make a call the minute she was gone, have every Alliance member in London- there were a half dozen to a dozen he supposed, checking her story with the local underworld population. "I'd like to tell you a little more about my case, and then may I read your work?"_

_ "Yes, that seems fair."_

_ "My- daughter- is about six months pregnant. The father is a vampire. Here, I have some- some notes and an ultrasound photo from about three months."_

_ "She hasn't had one since then?" Dr. Vance was frowning, about to go into a lecture on pre-natal care. _

_ "She did have one other." Giles said softly. "They left the hospital in a hurry though- didn't take it with them. The- baby-" He gave up trying to speak, all the sudden overwhelmed with the sight of Buffy's reddened eyes and Spike's white and tortured face. The feel of the baby rolling under his hand with enough force to bend Buffy double , bring her halfway to her knees. So strong and yet so helpless. Once again, that was the position they were all in. Strong in so many ways, helpless in just one. "Here are the notes." He handed her the slim folder he'd retrieved from his briefcase._

_ Dr. Vance took the papers, scanning them quickly, examining the ultrasound photo from three months. "The heart rate was very low." She said after a few minutes of silence._

_ "But he's not weak, not dying! When he kicks- he has his parents' strength. Enough to make Buffy bruise from the inside out." A smile played around his lips, sad and pleased at once. _

_ "What is a slayer? In all my time, I've never heard a whisper about that type of demon."_

_ "She isn't a demon. She's- well she's human, although now she's been claimed by her husband, so she's nearly immortal." Giles realized he was rambling. "She has power that's just a bit stronger than vampires, a bit greater than many common demons. She was chosen to kill the vampires."_

_ "And instead she married one?"_

_ "Yes. One. Who also helps kill the evil things in this world. And as a former evil being himself, he's extremely useful."_

_ "You care a great deal about these two." It was a statement, not a question._

_ "They are my family. They're my world."_

_ Dr. Vance put the papers down, going on strength of heart more than intellect. "I would be delighted to help you. We'll need to discuss this in greater detail. But I agree to be her obstetrician. And you may have a copy of my work- if you'd like."_

_ Giles sagged in relief. She'd have to be checked out, followed for a few weeks, routine checks made every so often after that. "Thank you."_

_ "You're most welcome." She handed him a copy of her case history on the half-wolf child she'd delivered. With a smile, the two of them sat across from each other, reading. _

_ "This is the doctor on call." Dr. Joseph Brooke answered the phone in Vance's office._

_ "Hullo, Joey."_

_ "Vance! Where've you been, I'm covering your shift!"_

_ "I'll be a few more hours. Can you...?"_

_ "Oh, you an' your ruddy charity cases. I'll cover you if you stand me a pint after shift." The tall, muscular man with a five o'clock shadow sighed._

_ "You are a darling!" Vance sighed. "Thank you. And I'll cover your shift next time you've got a head on you after a Man U. game."_

_ "I knew you'd be the best boss in this hellhole they call a hospital."_

_ "Are things crazy? And don't call me your boss, I'm merely the supervising physician. Until you're trained up a bit."_

_ "Things _are_ crazy- and you're my _boss_, like the title or not, Vee. Hell. They're paging us again. I'll go. Enjoy your pro bono work." Joey hung up the phone and hastily turned and ran from the small office, foot catching a small black bag under the desk. "Bloody cramped rooms..." The bag was a personal one, he knew, he had one like it, crammed in his locker. It was for the not so unlikely possibility that they ended up staying for triple or even quadruple shifts with only a four hour sleep break and time to shower and change clothes. These were Vance's personal clothes and toiletries. He shoved a black lacy bra and small bottles of conditioner and face cleanser back in the bag, and then a small plastic covered volume of printed pages. _Treatise on Demonic Property Transference in Hybrid Couples. Demonology Obstetrics Manual, by Dr. P. Vance._ "By Vance? Demonic? Demonolgy? Bloody hell, what in-"_

_ "Dr. Vance or Dr. Brook to the Ante-Natal unit!" The page sounded more insistent._

_ Joey shoved the book bag in the bag, but he knew he'd be coming back for a second look as soon as he got the chance._

_ "Dawn?"_

_ "Hi! How's it going, Dad-Man?"_

_ "Dr. Vance is on board."_

_ "Did you check her out?"_

_ "Thoroughly." _

_ "So when is she coming over? I need to meet her."_

_ "She works at one of the smaller hospitals in a not so lovely part of the city, Dawn. She can't take too much time off. She has a few weeks saved up, and she'll come a few days before Buffy's due date and spend a week after. She can't spare more than that."_

_ "But what if something happens?"_

_ "She'll come earlier if there are complications. But she won't be flying over for a social call."_

_ "But- But- no fair! I want to -"_

_ "Dawn, Dearheart, can we have these arguments later?'_

_ "Oh, we will."_

_ "I was sure of it."_

_ "Is she at least nice?"_

_ "Very kind. Intelligent. She doesn't go on, either, I quite like a woman who uses a minimum of words to convey a maximum of meaning."_

_ "Is that a dig?"_

_ "Perhaps."_

_ "Come home soon. I miss you."_

_ "I'll be home in two days. I miss you, too."_

Correspondence

_To: Vvance link_uk. net_

_From: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_Dr. Vance,_

_ Please find attached the weight and measurements you requested, taken today, as well as a sketch the father made based on a description done after our local wicca performed an "all seeing eye" spell. We are not sure we're measuring the fundus properly. Would you please go over it again in your next email?_

_Giles_

_To: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_From: Vvance link_uk. net_

_Mr. Giles,_

_ I scanned in and attached the pertinent pages from my OB manual. Don't worry, the later you get in pregnancy, the less the fundal measurements are indicative of fetal growth. I want you to purchase a stethoscope, or you can be sophisticated and get a doppler monitor with headphones at any number of baby stores or online. They're pricey, but you can rent them. I need weekly measurements, weight gain, anecdotal notes of symptoms, and heart rate count. _

_Hope your daughter and son-in-law are well._

_ Dr. Vance_

_To: Vvance link_uk. net_

_From: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_Dear Dr. Vance,_

_ We bought a fetal doppler. We have two pregnant women in the family right now and we're sharing the cost, so it wasn't terribly expensive, split between the six of us. The heart rate is 90 bpm. _

_Weight gain- 1 pound 6 oz._

_Fundus height- 26.5 cm._

_Symptoms- Mood swings, frequent urination, kicking small objects, cravings for beets, chocolate, and - I do apologize, everyone insisted I add this as it may not be usual, we don't know- sexual intercourse._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Giles_

_To: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_From: Vvance link_uk. net_

_Dear Giles,_

_ The numbers you've reported are concerning. Not overly, based on the unusual circumstances, but enough to send your typical hospital into a frenzy. All the "cravings" you mentioned are quite normal. I would advise your daughter and son-in-law to be gentle at this stage, and report any bleeding that occurs immediately. They will have to go to a hospital if that happens. Please give them my cell phone number, I'd be happy to talk to them about any questions they have. I'm sure it can't be easy to discuss this with you as the father. It shows how much you love them, acting as intermediary. I'll look forward to next week's report._

_ Warmly,_

_ Vance_

_PS: Does Bcrollers stand for Bay City Rollers by any chance?'_

_PPS: Six of you? How many children do you and your wife have, Mr. Giles?_

_To: Vvance link_uk. net_

_From: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_Dear Vance,_

_ Caught me out! Bay City Rollers it is. I suppose they were a few years before your time. _

_ I fear I unintentionally mislead you. My "daughter" is not biologically mine. None of my "children" are. I never had the good fortune to wed and raise my own sons and daughters, so I have, in a sense, adopted three girls and a boy on my own. Then Spike came along and married Buffy, so unwittingly there were six of us, including myself. We're a strange little family but we're happy. This child is very precious to us. Both children are precious to us, I should say, since my other "son" and"daughter" are also expecting. I've rambled enough. Here are the measurements for the week._

_ Warmly,_

_ Giles_

_To: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_From: Vvance link_uk. net_

_Dear Giles,_

_ The Bay City Rollers are timeless! You are a silly man, to think they're before my time. I may look good, but I'm quite old enough to remember them._

_ Buffy, Spike, Giles- put those names together, talk to Robson, and get quite a surprise! I name dropped at McHouls yesterday- your name only, of course, and good heavens did I hear tales! You've not only guarded your family- apparently you've guarded the world. It is a privilege to assist your family in any way I can, Mr. Giles. To that end, please try to get an ultrasound photo taken and scanned to me. As we come up to the last month, I would like to make sure the baby isn't in breach position, gripping the cord, etc. Many walk-in clinics or pregnancy crisis centers will perform the service. You can use an alias and they are very discreet, non-judgemental. Do try to get her to go. I gather from our brief phone conversation two days ago that she can be very stubborn. (And, no, of course I'm not offended that she didn't want to call and talk to me about intimate matters. It's natural not to trust a stranger.)_

_ Would you encourage her to talk to me at least once before I go over there? I'd like to build a rapport with her. The father as well. I don't know if I've spoken to someone like him before. I'm intrigued._

_ Warmly,_

_ Vance_

_To: Vvance link_uk. net_

_From: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_Dear Vance,_

_ She is stubborn. We've been pushing the ultrasound issue, but she'll have none of it. Willow (she's pregnant- due the same date as Buffy, actually) is going to make one last attempt next week after her own appointment. She's hoping "photo envy" might work. I shared your personal numbers with the whole clan, I'm afraid. The first to call will most likely be Dawn, Buffy's sister. Dawn is in the same "line of work" as I am. She's incredibly precocious for someone so young, nearly nineteen. But she spent quite a bit of her life with Spike as one of her primary care givers. She's blunt and forceful. Don't be put off. It's only protectiveness. _

_ I've enclosed the week's measurements, and another sketch Spike did based on Willow's "all seeing" spell. This time she was able to broadcast the image into their minds, so they could see. I'm afraid it's a bit muddled looking._

_ Kindest regards, _

_ Giles_

_PS. See you in five weeks if all goes well! _

_To: rgbcrollers prhighspeed. net_

_From: Vvance link_uk. net_

_Dear Giles,_

_ I look forward to seeing you. All of you. I so enjoyed our phone conversation last night. It was sweet of you to make sure to call on London time._

_ I'm attaching a list of all the supplies you'll need the cottage hospital to rent, as per our conversation. _

_ I saw I missed a call from Dawn. I had a tricky Caesarean and I worked past my shift. Please tell her I'll call her back soon. And of course, you must call me, day or night, if you have questions. _

_ Warmest Regards,_

_ Vance_

_PS. See you in four weeks if all goes well. I'm so looking forward to it._

Arrival

_"Vance?"_

_ She smiled broadly, eyes suddenly silver and twinkling instead of their usual cloud gray. "Giles, I wasn't expecting to hear-"_

_ "She's in labor. A month early, I know."_

_ The smile was gone, replaced by a look of intense determination. "I'm leaving now. I- I need a little time to get my medical supplies together, and -"_

_ "I'll have a plane booked. A private one, so you can bring whatever you need, scalpels, sharp objects, drugs. I'll work on the gate time and call you back. But hurry."_

_ "Is she showing any unusual signs?" Vance was pulling off her lab coat as she listened to Giles describe the situation in New York. It was mid morning in London and she had another eight hours to her shift. She'd need Joey to cover. She'd need Joey on standby for the family, too. He could be trusted, even if he had no idea about the occult or the circumstances of this birth. He would give good medical advice and be calm and friendly. The boyish intern easily disarmed anyone with his kind voice, always had a hint of a laugh behind it, or a hint of a smile, either boisterous or sad and gentle, even when telling someone bad news._

_ "Is that normal?" Giles concluded._

_ "Sounds severe, but within the realm of the child's strength, yes, normal. Giles, I'm going to give you a number. This is for Dr. Joseph Brooke, he's my OB intern. He'll be joining the staff officially at the end of August. You can trust him. He doesn't know about the secret side of things, but for any labor and delivery help you need while I'm in the air- or if something happened-"_

_ "God forbid!"_

_ "He'd help you. I'll get ready as quickly as I can." Vance hung up after another brief exchange, and dialed Joey while walking to the Chief Resident's office. She'd explained about the "sick family member in America". She'd been prepping this for a month, saying how she might need to go anytime, with a second's notice. Everyone was sympathetic. Vance had stuck it out in this underfunded, overburdened hospital for fifteen years now, even- well even after what happened during her internship. No one refused her anything if they could help it. _

_ " 'Lo?"_

_ "Joey! I'm calling in a favor."_

_ "Vance? Vee, are you okay?'_

_ "I'm fine, listen. You need to do two things for me..." She explained, he agreed. He always did. "I owe you one. I owe you two!"_

_ "Jus' find me some hot little American girl. The kind in the Tom Petty song, 'alright Vee?"_

_ "Oh, for God's sake..."_

_ "Never mind. Go off. Play the hero. Don't get bitten."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Uh- you know, mums in labor. They get dead nasty sometimes." Joey fibbed a bit. Vance's work was fascinating to read. And was far too clear and clinical to be fiction. Joey didn't know how she did it, but she did it. His boss was doctor to the wolves and wild things of the world. He'd known she was the best, he hadn't figured she'd be the coolest._

_ "Right. I'm going in to see the C.R. now. I'll call you when the show's over."_

_ "Call me when you land, Vee?"_

_ "I'll call you when I deliver the baby. There'll be no time in between."_

_ "Thank God you're here!" Giles hugged the doctor, he was so pleased to see her. "What happened to start the labor so early?" Vance hugged him back. He took her bags in one hand and her elbow in the other. She began winding her long brown waves into a bun, piling it on top of her head as they began to walk at a near run to the outside. _

_ "Nothing we know of. Just early."_

_ "How close are the contractions? How far is she dilated?"_

_"No time between when I left the house half an hour ago." Giles was already starting the Jag before she had closed the door. Chivalry wasn't dead, but it was panicking. "She was fully dilated, Willow said this was it."_

_ "Willow's acting as medic Isn't she-?"_

_ "Eight months pregnant? Yes, and her husband- Xander, is pacing like a wounded rhino. Dawn's been on the phone with Joey on and off all day, and Spike and Buffy are exhausted. But we're all alive and there hasn't been an apocalypse yet, so this counts as a good day for us."_

_ Vance held onto the door handle for dear life as they screamed through a small city and a smaller town. She watched the speedometer touch ninety and saw a blurry sign that said they were in a forty zone. _

_ "Car's cloaked. Willow showed me- she's very powerful. Like this, no one notices you speeding, you just have to watch out for other cars." _

_ Vance nodded, not entirely at ease, feeling anxious. This was not the casual but collected man she'd met a few months ago. He was scruffy and dressed in what were most likely night clothes. It made him more real. Like all the other fathers that brought wives and girlfriends into the hospital in the middle of the night. This powerful man, who according to gossip at McHouls and knowledge scraped from Robson, was something called a Watcher, the head of all Watchers, apparently, still concerned himself about human life and family. Not just the big picture, the little moments, the precious scenes from daily life. Life and death, birth and coming into a new era. "Drive as fast as you like. I'm going to make sure your grandchild gets here okay."_

_ "Thank you." He reached across and squeezed her hand for a second, and then put it back on the wheel. "We're nearly there."_

_ They entered a small, many streeted development in the pine crusted suburbs of his town. The car screeched to a halt and Giles was shouting up at the house, "We're here!" before he was even in park. Vance flung open her door and let out a startled noise as he grabbed her wrist in one hand and her bags in the other. He dragged her into the house, not looking back, eyes ahead and focused. _

_ Giles thundered up the steps and practically threw his companion through the door. _

_ "You're a little late, G-Man." Xander helped his Willow up, taking his time, knowing she'd been crouched over for a few hours without much of a break. _

_ "Got ourselves a bran' new Summers." Spike said proudly. "William James- meet your Grandpa."_

_ "William James..." Giles watched Spike raise the child in its bundle of blankets. "Buffy are you alright, Sweetheart?" _

_ "We're fine. We're all fine. Come here." Buffy weakly held out her arms. "All the important men in my life are here. Spike, Xan, my son, and my dad." She started to sniffle. "Look. It's a real baby, Giles. It's a little boy. We have a son."_

_ "You got a grandson." Xander hovered as Giles slowly sank beside Buffy, now holding her child._

_ "I see that." Giles was awed. The room was a mess, the occupants were a mess. But the scene was beyond beautiful to him. He hadn't known it would be like this. That he would love something instantly. All the rest of his life had been full of relationships he'd slowly grown into. Loving Buffy as he did had taken a few months to start, and then grown only deeper. He cared for Spike at this point as well, although he'd avoid saying it aloud. But this baby- it was truly love at first sight. "My grandson." He whispered, one finger slowly pulling the edge of the blanket down to see his face._

_ "It's okay to cry." Dawn was beside him. "We did. Even Spike did."_

_ "I don't think I could help it anyway." Giles whispered, and his eyes betrayed him as he bent to brush his lips against the child's pale head. _

_ Watching the scene and feeling completely superfluous but incredibly happy, Dr. P. Vance fell in love in the space of two minutes. She didn't know if it was with the man or the family, and she realized within the next two minutes that it wasn't her place to worry about it. She had a job to do. _You're being silly. You know full well you don't fall in love like that._ But if there was a step just prior to going head over heels- Vance was sitting on that step._

_ "I'll wait downstairs." Vance murmured softly to the redhead leaning wearily on a man she assumed was her husband._

_ "Oh. Oh, gosh, we must seem so rude!"_

_ "You seem delightful." Vance refuted, simply but sincerely._

_ "This is the quack, then?" Spike looked up and took in the sight of the tall, leggy brunette, wearing jeans, trainers, and a faded pullover. And for all her disheveled appearance, she was absolutely glowing. "You don't seem too bad yourself, Doc. Everyone but the three of us an' the lady get out. Go home, eat, drink, sleep." Spike shooed everyone away._

_ "Hey!" Dawn protested. _

_ "Buffy's gotta get checked out, I reckon." Spike pointed out. "Don't worry." His voice changed form strident to serious. "I'll find the time to thank you all for helping bring my son into the world and look after Buffy."_

_ "We were glad to do it. Idiot big brother." Dawn hugged him hard._

_ "I'm gonna want Oreos. And baby snuggling rights." Willow stretched. She was startled when Spike hugged her, fully hugged her, soft and gently, mindful of the passenger she was carrying. _

_ "You already know I'd do anything for you." Spike whispered in her ear. "I don't know how to thank you for this, Red."_

_ "You don't owe me anything." Willow whispered back, eyes overflowing. "A-and don't get too soft and mushy. I won't know what to do."_

_ "Fair enough. But you'll know- won't you?"_

_ "That you're a big ol' softy? Yeah. I kinda knew that before." She winked playfully._

_ "Go hug the baby that's on the outside." Xander patted Spike on the back. "C'mon, Wills. Home and beddy bye. We'll be back for dinner, okay?"_

_ "Chinese tonight?" Dawn said. _

_ "No one's cooking, that's for sure." Buffy moaned as she shifted._

_ "Dr. Vance, do you like Chinese?"_

_ "I do- yes." Vance was startled. _

_ "Okay. I'll leave a menu downstairs. Just circle what you want. Oh, and write a V next to it, because it's already circled up with all the stuff we usually order." Dawn yawned and then yelped. "Argh! Classes! I'm missing my journalism class!"_

_ "Niblet- shut up an' sleep. You've got a good excuse." Spike ordered. "An' take gramps with you. He's all in." _

_ Giles hesitated. "Vance, Buffy, are you certain you don't want me to stay? Since you haven't met?"_

_ "Hi, I'm Buffy." Buffy stuck out her hand to the doctor._

_ "I'm Vance." The older woman caressingly took her offered hand. "I think we'll survive without his presence for a short examination, don't you?"_

_ "Yeah." Buffy smiled sleepily. Giles nodded and left. _

_ The baby began to cry and Buffy and Spike exchanged a panicked look. "What's wrong?" Spike gulped._

_ "He probably wants to nurse. I'll get you and your mummy cleaned up and you can tuck in." Vance cooed. _

_ "Can- can Spike help do some of it?" Buffy felt sore and uncomfortable and wasn't sure whether she was more worried about Vance touching her or touching the baby._

_ "Why doesn't he help me do whatever I'm doing?" Vance gave her an understanding look. "And your sister or Mr. Giles could come in and be my nurse, if you're okay with that."_

_ "I think Giles would faint if he saw anymore of me today." Buffy laughed ruefully._

_ "I think he'd do anything in the world for you."_

_ "That's true." Spike admitted. "But we've got it between the two of us, Doc. Jus' tell me what to do."_

Outside Perspectives

_"Dr. Vance says he's fine. Abnormally light sensitive eyes, low melatonin, very low pulse and heart rate, but obviously he's very healthy. She recorded unusual coordination, and sensory perception in the areas of hearing and vision. She'll need to come back as he gets older to continue to test the extent of his abilities." Giles read through the initial report prepared by Dr. Vance, who was staying in Giles' guest room (which was really more of a "whoever researched too much to walk home without falling asleep on the sidewalk can crash here" room). "No fangs, no adverse reaction to sunlight, crosses, or the presence of garlic or holy water."_

_ "You put holy water on my baby?" Buffy screamed, turning to Dawn with glaring green eyes, a thousand times more vicious now that the tigress had a cub to protect._

_ "Only a little, and we had a big bucket of regular water next to it." Dawn hid behind Giles with a nervous half step._

_ "Sweetie, don't scream. It breaks his concentration." Spike watched the week old infant reflexively nursing, tiny cheeks working softly. "There you go, mate, just like that. An' when you get older, with a girl of your own, Daddy'll teach you some other more interestin' things to do with the nummies."_

_ "Spike! That's horrible!" Buffy wrapped the nursing blanket higher up over her shoulder, so now not only the other occupants of the room couldn't see her, but her husband, directly beside her, lost his view as well. "Ignore him, William. Vampires have a crude streak, that you _won't _be inheriting."_

_ Spike sat back with a disgruntled huff, but a big smile. A permanent smile that had lasted from the moment of his son's birth and seemed destined to remain there. "Is there more, Rupes?"_

_ "No, no that's all." Giles put the report on an end table and stretched. _

_ "Where's Will?" Buffy stroked the sandy hair on her son's soft porcelain head. _

_ "Willow's out unerasing people's memories." Dawn smiled cheerfully. "Um. Giles, did Dr. Vance decide whether or not to tell Dr. Brooke about this report? 'Cause he seemed interested." Dawn ran her fingers lightly over the few pages._

_ "Dr. Brooke? Who is that?" Giles squeezed his brows together in his standard look of concentration._

_ "Joey! I mean, Joseph Brooke, the intern that helped talk us through almost the whole labor."_

_ "That gave you his email address and personal phone number 'in case you had any more questions'." Spike scowled._

_ "Somebody likes the intern." Buffy sang to her son as he fell asleep._

_ "I do not! I never even met the guy." Dawn said defensively. "If anybody likes anybody around here, it's Giles. 'You're a brilliantly concise woman, Dr. Vance. Most insightful, Dr. Vance. Could I get you a glass of wine, Dr. Vance?'." Dawn mimicked her father-slash-mentor._

_ "That's simply good manners!" Giles protested, but his lips had gone thin in embarrassment._

_ " 'You're a brilliantly concise woman, Dr. Vance' ?" Buffy quirked a brow at him. "Giles, I beg you. Get a copy of _Dating for Dummies_. Who woos like that?"_

_ "I dunno, Luv. Calling a girl brilliantly concise is like the Watcher version of heavy pettin'."_

_ "You are all quite disgusting, and I've half a mind to take my grandson back with me to prevent him from picking up on your-your guttermouthed comments."_

_ "You'll lose a finger if you try it. Yes, you will. Grandpa's gonna lose a finger if he tries it, yes he will." Buffy cooed to her son, eyes teasingly warning Giles._

_ "Oh, honestly." Giles huffed._

_ "The more snippy you sound- the more we can tell you like her." Dawn patted Giles on the shoulder with a pitying look. "Just saying."_

_ "Blue for a little boy!" The elderly Mrs. Bishop placed a knobbly pair of knitted booties on Buffy's lap. "You know, my dear, I'm getting quite forgetful in my old age. I didn't remember I needed to start knitting anything for you, or the Rosenberg-Harris baby until two weeks ago!"_

_ "Oh. Um. No big." Buffy and Willow sat in matching streamer strewn chairs in the Paradise Park clubhouse's all purpose room. _

_ "But I'm not the only one. It just seemed to catch us all by surprise. And then you delivering so early!" She dithered off, leaving the mother and mother-to-be alone for a split second, before more well-wishers passed them._

_ "You didn't need to put a spell on Mrs. Bishop!" Buffy hissed._

_ "I know that! She was trying to put a sweater on Madge's cat and got in the way of the Lethe's Bramble smoke. I'm gonna grow that stuff, you know. I must've spent three hundred dollars buying enough- Hi, Vance!"_

_ "Hullo dears! Giles just ran me by before I catch my plane. You're sure you don't want me to stay and do your delivery, Willow?" Dr. Vance, called Vance by all, had a silvery voice that was so sweet and soothing that you really had to struggle to say no to her._

_ "Nnnn-o." Willow faced one such struggle. "It was really nice of you to even stay for two weeks, even though you completed the report in one."_

_ "Giles really, _really_ liked having you over. I think he misses having English friends. Besides Spike, that is." Buffy put in a subtle (she hoped) plug for her smitten father-figure._

_ "Giles is a very interesting man. Extremely focused and family-oriented, with a strong moral compass." Dr. Vance sighed wistfully._

_ Willow and Buffy exchanged a glance. "Have some punch?" Willow offered._

_ 'Spike!' Buffy called internally to her husband, who was out in another room of the clubhouse, avoiding "the old bats" who were attending the baby shower. _

_ 'Problems?' His perpetually smoky voice intoned in her head._

_ 'Don't let Giles leave the building.'_

_ 'He's right with me, what's the trouble, Luv?' The voice sounded more alert now._

_ 'No trouble. Just- gimme a minute. Oh, and get him to talk about Vance.'_

_ 'It's not hard gettin' him to talk about the brunette bird, it's hard gettin' him to shut up about her.' He grumbled._

_ 'Pleeeease? Do this for me, and I'll get you a drink.'_

_ 'I can get my own drinks, Pet.' His voice, even when silent, sounded amused._

_ 'Yeah, but you can have what William's having. And I'm not talking about out of the bottle, Baby.'_

_ From down the hall a loud crash and a muffled yell of, "Dude! That's not cool!" (from an annoyed Xander) was heard._

_ 'Gotta go.' Spike's voice was now slightly lecherous sounding and their connection was broken._

_ "She's coming back! Dawn! Dawnie!" Willow hissed and waved the third member of the Watcher's Lonely Hearts Club over. _

_ "What's wrong?" Dawn and Madge were playing co-hostesses for Buffy and Willow, who both knew about the shower in advance, although each planned something special and surprising for the other to be incorporated into the event._

_ "Vance is going to leave today." _

_ "Uh. Yeah, we kinda knew that." Dawn patted her sister's head gently and spoke to William. "It's okay, Will. She's smarter than she sounds."_

_ "She said Giles was 'Extremely focused and family-oriented, with a strong moral compass.'." Buffy smiled and decided not to smack her sister-this time._

_ "Oooh, dirty talk."_

_ "I know! We can't let her leave. Neither of them get it. That the other one likes the other one."_

_ "That they like each other." Willow simplified, now also concerned about her friend's mental capabilities._

_ "You guys always overcomplicate stuff." Dawn sighed. Vance returned with three cups of punch and drew up a chair._

_ "Dawn! I'm so glad I got to meet you, busy as our time together was. Mr. Giles tells me you're one of the most promising Watchers ever, as well as being the youngest."_

_ "Oh, he has to say that. 'Cause I'm kinda like his kid."_

_ "Yes, he does seem to regard you three as his daughters. He has such a sense of familial loyalty. A truly good, upstanding man. It was my pleasure to work with him." Her eyes shone._

_ "He can be a badass." Dawn grinned. "Don't let that meek and mild stuff fool you. I mean, he's totally smart, but you mess with him, or us, and he's all Rambo. Plus, he's got this whole sexy voice thing going on, and he plays the guitar. Yeah, he's a grandpa, but he's a hot grandpa." She beamed at her audience of three, watching Vance's light tan skin burn dark pink, and she nervously played with a strand of her wavy brown hair._

_ "Dawn!" Buffy finally found her voice, and it came out an octave higher than normal. "Oh, my gosh, DAWN!"_

_ "Um. That's an interesting perspective on- on Mr. Giles."_

_ "I just thought you should know. Because he thinks you're the most beautiful, hottest, smartest woman in the world, and he sucks at telling people stuff." Dawn smiled complacently and wandered off._

_ Down the hall, Spike dragged Giles along to the baby shower. "I don't wanna go either, mate, but we have to."_

_ "But I see no reason why Dr. Vance can't meet me in the car park. Or in the game room we were just in." Giles protested, straightening his tie and nervously smoothing his hair. Spike smiled knowingly, but said nothing._

_ "You watched a birth, you can handle the cute presents." Xander took his other arm and pushed him along._

_ "You're not really gonna let this bird go, are you?"_

_ "Don't call Dr. Vance a-"_

_ "Oh, shut up Rupert. She's mad for you, can't you tell that?" Spike wheedled._

_ "She is?" Giles asked cautiously._

_ "She is?" Xander asked in shock. Spike glowered at him. "I mean, she is! She called you a 'fascinating guardian of justice' the other night at dinner."_

_ "Did she?"_

_ "It might have been a fast gardener. But it was a compliment, and justice was in there someplace." Xander waved off the minor details of words._

_ "Who cares what she says, mate, it's in what she _does_." Spike licked his lips._

_ "Spike! I've never- she's never acted in the slightest bit-"_

_ "Shh, Watcher. Now, walk in with me, nice an' slow, just let her see you." Spike paused just in the doorway. "Uh-huh. Heart rate sped up. Oh, she's like a little wildcat, mate, you should definitely-"_

"Spike!" _He hissed warningly._

_ "Smile!"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Smile! Now, at her, you daft librarian." Giles gave her a foolish grin._

_ "Dear God, she is _gone_. That was the most pathetic smile I've ever seen, an' her pulse is fairly poundin' out her neck." Spike caught Dawn's eye and then turned back to Rupert. "Just stand there. I'm gonna go up closer, see if I can catch a whiff of anything."_

_ "A whiff of- no!" Giles hissed angrily. He had no doubt what Spike was referring to, and definitely did not want him trying to catch it on anyone, particularly not the lovely and charming Dr. Vance._

_ But the vampire was already off. "Progress?" He asked Dawn, both of them pausing nonchalantly by the half-eaten sheet cake._

_ "Told her he thinks she's hot, smart, and beautiful."_

_ "Good, good. I'm playin' the vamp line, the heart, the pulse, possibly the girly bits as well."_

_ Dawn nodded, but then looked worried. "Her plane leaves soon. Just tell him I said she told me-"_

_ "Wait, what?"_

_ "Vance thinks he's hot and sexy, and wants to- experience physical-something fancy sounding, okay?"_

_ "Got it."_

_ "In five?"_

_ "In five."_

_ Spike sauntered back. "Didn't get close enough to tell anything naughty, Watcher, so calm down. But Dawn says she's singin' your praises loudly. She'd love to get you in her office sometime."_

_ "Purely for- for discussing works of mutual interest, I'm sure." Giles hedged, flushing._

_ "Mutual interest, yes. Discussion and pure, no." Spike smirked, and Xander nodded appreciatively._

_ "Giles is so sad you're leaving." Dawn returned to the group as it struggled to make small talk in the wake of her blunt admission Giles' behalf. "Spike's doing all he can to cheer him up, but..." Dawn gave a dramatic sigh. "There's nothing worse than unrequited love."_

_ "It isn't!" Vance cried sharply, and then looked away._

_ "Love or unrequited?" Willow asked in a timid squeak, eyes darting around to all the players in their little tableau. _

_ "Either! It's- too early to be love." Vance slowly met their eyes. "But the interest-" A strangely vixenish grin crossed Vance's face, replacing her usual quiet, sweet smile. "Oh, it's far from unrequited."_

_ "We got it! Bring 'im in!" Dawn called to Spike. Eyes widened all around._

_ "Bring 'er out!" Spike countered. Dawn took Vance's elbow, ignored her confused exclamation, and led her over to the cluster of men. "Hullo, Vance, nice to see you again."_

_ "You, too, Spike, what's going on, I was-"_

_ "Oh God! Evil undead Cupid and Cupidette." Xander smacked his forehead, just realizing what had happened. "You two-"_

_ "Oh, shut up, Penzance." Spike snapped. He an' Dawned had hatched this the moment they noticed Giles lookin' at Vance with almost as much appreciation as the newborn she was examinin'. If the proud grandpa was distracted by the comely physician, he an' Bit determined that the doctor must be something extra special, and should be nudged along. "Look, you're both nice people. You like him, he likes you, an' you're both too starchy around each other to say anything, so we helped. Now, go have a nice walk outside." Spike and Dawn gave them both a little shove out of the door. Spike leaned out and smiled politely. "Jus' wanna remind you, Doctor Lady, Niblet an' I will slit you up a treat if you hurt our Rupert. Okay?" And he slammed the door after them, not waiting for a reply from the open mouthed obstetrician._

_ Giles polished his glasses frantically. "I'm so sorry. I'm beyond sorry, really, I don't think-"_

_ "Rupert? I didn't think you used your Christian name." Vance interrupted. _

_ "Oh? No, I don't with my family. Not usually. Spike, erm, sometimes uses it, but more playfully than sincerely, I'm afraid. And you? You prefer Vance?"_

_ "My first name is Philomena." Vance blushed. "Of all the curses parents lay on their children..."_

_ "Vance it is then." He offered her his arm with an understanding smile._

_ "Thank you- Giles." Her voice suddenly sounded less silvery and more smoky._

_ "You two are awful!" Willow chided as she tried to remove herself from the low slung chair. Xander helped her up. "Love takes time to develop, you can't just shove people along and set them off on a path to reckless passion and wild sexcapades, and-"_

_ "Wills? Shut up, Honey." Xander hissed in her ear, nudging her now rounder rear with his hip. He dropped his voice to a low husky whisper that only his wife could hear. "Or I'll be forced to to tell everyone how Tanya happened. Wild sexcapades. Good times."_

_ "Stop!" She blushed._

_ "No, go on." Spike waved two of his best friends on, listening with his vampiric hearing. "Love a good story."_

_ "You wanna see if you can regrow an eye, Spike?" Xander menaced, reaching for a stake that was always tucked in a special pouch on his leg._

_ "Truce! I'll help you get your gear out to the truck."_

_ "We better get Vance. She'll miss her plane." Buffy balanced William in the crook of one arm, and the diaper bag in the other. Spike began loading himself up with all the rest of their gifts, mainly clothes and things for older babies, having had to buy all the basics themselves due to the secret nature of the pregnancy._

_ "That's the whole point, Luv." Spike kissed her cheek, and then bent to kiss William's soft head._

Conversations

_"I _do_ have to go back." Vance reluctantly released Giles' arm when they reached the Jag in the car park._

_ "I know. I am sorry. They get so overzealous at times." He opened the door for her, then went around to his side. _

_ "Then all the things they said weren't true?" Vance asked._

_ "Oh no. I'm sure they were true. I'm also sure I wouldn't have told you for ages."_

_ "Then I'm glad they were overzealous." Vance stopped climbing into the car and faced Giles. "I understand though, if you think that there's a distance issue."_

_ "That's what phone lines are for. I understand if you think mere conversation isn't enough." Giles walked slowly back to where she was standing._

_ "It's enough to learn about each other." Vance smiled, walking to meet him halfway. Giles leaned, pulled back and looked into her mist colored eyes and leaned again. _

Been too bloody long... _Giles thought as he delved his mouth into hers. She was tangy, citrus punch on her lips- and oh God, on her tongue. _She might be charming, intelligent, learned, well-written- all the things a staid old man could want- but that's no sweet, scholarly kiss.

The earring. The earring should have tipped me off. _Vance panted, catching her breath, and then went back for more. _No librarian, grandpa, father figure, super family man wears a sexy little silver hoop unless there's something wild inside, underneath all the tweed and the precise speech._ Which was supremely annoying to find out just before her departure time, because right now, she wanted to be bad, let her old, irresponsible self out to play, to find out a bit more about what was inside of Rupert Giles. Maybe by taking it into herself..._

_ "We have to stop. You have to go through customs, you need to get there shortly!" Giles panted, drawing back._

_ "Mm, you're right." Neither moved. Fingers tangled in hair, glasses were askew. "You do look bloody sexy like that. There's something about a man in glasses..."_

_ "I was about to say the same. About a woman, obviously." He laughed. Reluctantly he stepped back- and immediately sat down inside the car, aware of a firmness between his legs that wasn't supposed to be there just now. He hoped Vance hadn't noticed it. "I think I'd love to get to know you more. If you haven't been put off by all this strangeness." Because that's usually the case, he added in his head._

_ "I quite like this strangeness." She smiled, and sat in the car beside him._

_ With a boyish grin, Giles started the car, completely oblivious to the five figures smiling triumphantly from the shadow of clubhouse._

_ When they got to the airport, there was an odd silence. "Thank you for everything. Not just the past two weeks, the past two months. You helped us tremendously." Giles found his voice._

_ "I was honored to help." Vance found hers. On the strength of a half dozen emails, a few phone conversations, and two weeks of polite and completely unromantic conversation, she was falling for this man. Only one prolonged kiss- or two semi- prolonged ones, she wasn't sure how to count it, and she was feeling flushed and foolishly romantic. She was glad that her heart hadn't taken over her vocal cords. "Thank you for letting me."_

_ Kiss her, you idiot, Giles' brain offered up suggestions. Sod that, get her in the backseat, you've got time, the Ripper part of his personality answered. Instead, he compromised- kissing her once, swiftly on the lips. "I will call." He assured, firmly._

_ "You know, Giles, when most men say that, I doubt it. I don't have any doubt at all with you."_

_ "That's good. Because I'm calling you since you say you don't really mind the strangeness of my life. When other women have said that- it wasn't true. But I don't doubt that you're sincere."_

_ "That's good." She lightly stroked his face with one hand. "So, call me in about nine hours?"_

_ "I shall. And I'll talk to you about whatever strangeness has occurred in the brief time since you've been gone. I'm sure, in this family, there will have been _something."

_ "I look forward to hearing about it." She let herself fall forward, kissing him one more time._

Deal

_"Hush little baby, don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mockin' bird. An' if that soddin' bird won't sing, daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring. An if that diamond ring turns brass, Daddy'll find the punk who sold it to us an' kick his-"_

_ "That's not how it goes." Buffy watched Spike from the open doorway of the not entirely perfect baby's room. Being a month early, they hadn't had a lot of time to do finishing touches._

_ "Shhh." Spike kissed William's downy head, pale lips to pale brow and lowered him into the bassinet. "He'll be good for a few hours before he needs another feed."_

_ "Speaking of that-" Buffy motioned Spike to come into the hall with her. She blushed. "I- earlier. When you got Giles to come in and see Vance? I promised you something to drink."_

_ Spike's eyes lit up, then faded. "You don't want me to, do you?" Buffy met his eyes with a sudden flash of worry. "What's wrong?" But he already thought he knew. _

_ "Nothing. Exactly."_

_ "Is it because you're a mum? And mums aren't sexy to you, is that it?"_

_ "No! No, I know if we weren't sexy, we'd never get to the mommy stage to begin with."_

_ "Is it because you look a little different just now?" Spike had noticed she didn't want to undress in front of him, or shower in front of him except just the one time immediately after the birth when she needed his help._

_ "You'll always stay beautiful." _

_ "You think you aren't beautiful to me?" He openly snorted and took her shoulders in his hands. "You, Luv, look more beautiful than ever to me. D'you remember how beautiful you were when you were carryin' William?"_

_ "You seemed to think I was pretty gorgeous."_

_ "You have any leftover signs of having our son? That's in the same category."_

_ "Spike, you always know what to say. But you do have that lying streak."_

_ "Only in the best interests, and I'm being truthful here. Lemme show you."_

_ "I could be convinced, I guess." Buffy allowed herself to be taken into their room, now looking like a perfectly pristine bedroom, not a makeshift delivery room anymore._

_ Spike hesitated. "Luv? Don't get mad, but- maybe we shouldn't do anything."_

_ "Because I'm all saggy and ugly?" Buffy's eyes welled up._

_ "NO!" Spike hugged her tightly, tighter than he should have with her sensitive chest. "Doc said six weeks is the usual, right?"_

_ "Slayer healing. Two weeks is okay. If it isn't, I'll let you know. And you always listen to me." She gave him a reassuring smile._

_ "But I don't want to deprive William. I shouldn't drink if you're nursin' him."_

_ "I think he won't mind if you have a few sips." Buffy slowly lifted off her blouse, revealing a simple cotton nursing bra. And she abruptly looked away, all the confidence of a second ago gone. _

_ "Goddess. My goddess." Spike tilted her chin up. "Don't you hide from me."_

_ "Okay, so the top isn't so bad. Down lower..."_

_ "Is still healin', maybe. Or maybe it's not gonna heal. I don't bloody care. If-" Spike tried to find words to explain. "If I lost an arm or somethin', gettin' William to safety, would you love me less, think I was less attractive, Buffy?"_

_ "Of course not! You'd be a hero."_

_ "So you have any scars, anything that doesn't heal- it just makes you a hero. But then you've always been my hero, haven't you?" He pressed his forehead to hers. She kissed him gratefully, nodding silently._

_ "I don't know if it still feels that same. Making love." She tucked a finger into his waistband slowly._

_ "We'll find out. An' we don't have to do it now, you silly chit. We've got plenty of time to learn things and explore things. We could just go watch the little one sleep, an' I'd be happy."_

_ "Some big bad you are." She mocked playfully._

_ "I'm someone's dad, Luv. Gotta make sure he knows I'm not too bad to be good for him."_

_ "I think he can tell. Already." She smiled. "Sorry I got all coward-y."_

_ "No big thing. None of us have ever had this situation before. Just learnin', aren't we?"_

_ "You're smart. And nice. And you say the right thing almost always. It's good but annoying." She giggled. _

_ "Can't be too good, can I, Pet?" He smirked._

_ "You're very good. Very good. And we have to find out sooner or later. Come on."_

_ He let Buffy pull him into the master bathroom, snagging the baby monitor on the way. "D'you want the lights off, Sweetlet?"_

_ "No. Might as well see how bad it is." She laughed nervously._

_ "Say that again an' I'll- I'll hand over all nappy changing duties to you." He threatened._

_ She ignored him, rolling her eyes, and turned on the water. "Is it just me, or has there been like no time alone- except for right now?"_

_ "Vance was here. Dawn and the rest were helpin' with the new arrival. But since she went out with Rupes to pump him for information on what happened between the baby shower and the time Vance got on the plane, I guess we're on our own." His smile widened. "Only we aren't. 'Cause the baby's here."_

_ "Yeah. He is!" They lost their seriousness for a moment to hug happily, enthusiastically. Buffy was sure that if Spike hadn't perfected the art of looking cool even when he was happy, that he would have squealed and giggled. As it was, she squealed and giggled for both of them. _

_ "Mmm, Pet. Forgot how good it feels just to hold you. All to m'self." Spike toned the hug down, slowing the pace as his hands began to wander lovingly along her back. "That doesn't hurt, does it, Luv?"_

_ "No..." She whispered, half expecting it to, and pleasantly surprised when it didn't. "I don't think we've just held each other for two weeks. Even when we sleep-"_

_ "One of us keeps gettin' up to look after junior." He moved his lips to her neck, tongue stroking lightly on her jaw before hitting her claim._

_ "Oooh." She gasped sharply. "Still feels good."_

_ "That's good." He nodded, nuzzling in more. One nimble hand came up her satiny back and undid her bra clasp. "You're the most beautiful girl in the universe. Always have been, always will be." He whispered, even before he could see her heavy globes. He slid back from her and let the garment fall free. "See? I was right." He grinned. _

_ "Really?"_

_ "Would you slap me an' call me names if I said I was gonna appreciate that they're a bit bigger?"_

_ "Are you saying I'm too small the rest of the time?"_

_ "God, no." He reverently hefted them in his palms. "I want you however you come, Luv. Since they seem to be bigger just now, I'm lookin' forward to enjoyin' myself with them, okay?"_

_ "Okay. I'm kind of- ooohhhhh, enjoying it too." Spike mouth gently found a nipple._

_ "Bad noise or good noise?"_

_ "Be careful noise. Although, amazingly, you're more gentle than your son."_

_ "He doesn't know his own strength and he's hungry." Spike excused him. "I'm just here to appreciate the goods."_

_ "Appreciate them in the shower, I'm all achey." Buffy urged._

_ With practiced hands they removed the rest of their clothing and hurried into the shower. Buffy winced when she looked down, saw her flat stomach with slightly shapeless looking skin over it. "I know it's great that I got the flat stomach back, but the skin is going to take a few weeks to-"_

_ "Hush your pretty mouth." Spike nipped her, hard, on the shoulder, hands caressing her. "One day I'm gonna run afoul of somethin', Pet, maybe get all scarred up, maybe it won't heal. Hate to think the outside matters so much to you. 'Specially since I can't even see my reflection."_

_ "Stupid, smartypants vampire." Buffy mumbled, but shushed. She eagerly caressed him, pressing herself to him. "I love you and you love me. Through death and back. What's a little imperfection?"_

_ "Exactly- though I still think you're bloody perfect for me. But this is the best way I can think of to incur 'imperfection'. Makin' our miracle." Spike put his arms under hers. "Tell me if you're not comfy, Lamb." He picked her up, and settled her legs around his waist. His burgeoning erection rubbed her folds and she held still. "Hurt?"_

_ "No. I- I'm not sure about the inside though."_

_ "Then let's wait until you're sure."_

_ "Vance said I was healed when she did the post natal check up yesterday. She- she said most girls take up to two months, and I was already back to normal. I didn't tear or anything, or get stitches, that made it better." Buffy rattled off an explanation._

_ "Well, bully for you, but I'm in no hurry. As I recall part of the deal was I got to sip some of this new ambrosia. The rest can wait." Spike pressed her mouth to his and refused to let her protest. Soon he felt her rocking her hips against him insistently. "What's this, Luv?"_

_ "Feels good on the outside." She pulled his back, tongues wrestling as she ground her needy little nubbin to the shaft and underside of his crown._

_ "Bloody well does." He agreed. "Cummin' okay?"_

_ "As much as I want. Dr. Vance said so. She almost died when she said so, but she did."_

_ "I like her. She's perfect for the old man, you know? Got all the nice, respectable trappings for him, an' then all this wildcat, 'sure I'll deliver the vampire baby' attitude underneath." Spike rutted to her as he heard her heartbeat picking up._

_ "She's great. I don't know about perfect. I have to talk to her when I'm not recovering from childbirth." Buffy laughed. She wrapped her arms around his neck suddenly and held on tight, chests smashed together. "Hard- right there."_

_ "I can do it better like this." Spike reached one hand down and caressed her clit, rubbing in hard, tight circles. She came with a soft whimpering cry, muted for the sake of the baby._

_ Buffy's walls clamped and a sharp cut of pain jolted her. She was glad Spike had stayed on the outside._

_ "Did it hurt?" He whispered, tightening his grip comfortingly, apologetically._

_ "For a second. No worries. The pain was so not an issue because of all the pleasure. Now- let's make _you_ cum."_

_ "I'd love to, Sweetlet." Spike shifted, fingers curling caressingly across her folds for the first time since William's birth. She didn't feel any different, except maybe drier. "You need seeing to first. Can I try again?"_

_ She considered. It had felt so good right up until the last spasm."Go slow." She nodded._

_ "I will." He agreed. "Make my girl all wet. Take care of her."_

_ "You still think of me as your girl? I'm all mommy'd up."_

_ "You will always be my girl. And now you're the mother of my child. I have to love you forever now." He grinned cheekily. "As if I wasn't already plannin' on that."_

_ "Good. That's what I want." Buffy bucked against him, her own hand falling from his shoulders, heading between their legs. She grasped his hardness with a groan of longing. "You always feel so good inside. And it's making me crazy not putting you there."_

_ "Soon." He jammed her back against the tile wall for support, each of them having one hand busy down below. "You're startin' to let out some of that delicious juice, I can feel it." He rubbed his fingers with something slicker than water, then sucked on them, looking into her eyes. "You still taste the same."_

_ "But I'm still-"_

_ "You taste the same, but with my favorite beverage thrown in." He clarified and licked another pink tinged finger. _

_ "Push in?"_

_ "Not yet."_

_ "Please?"_

_ "Not yet, let me-" He controlled the demon for only a split second more before giving into his needs. " let me ease the pain first." He fit his teeth to the claim, and bit, listening to her soft ecstatic keening as she rocked her pussy against his palm, sheathing his finger inside her of her own accord. _

_ Buffy smiled in relief as the digit slid in seamlessly, no pain, although the whole channel was sensitive. The full Spike monty would have to wait. His demon purred and the reverberations shook her, making her pussy clench on his hand and her nipples harden._

_ Spike pulled back, licking his wine-colored lips. "You still taste like you did, Luv, a splash of me with you. Maybe carryin' him marked you inside somehow."_

_ "Is it a good taste?"_

_ "It's the best taste. I'm getting all the best drinks in the world today." His hand was slowly trailing from her crotch to her breast now. "Let's see about the top cream for my kitten." _

_ "Not too much?"_

_ "Just a taste." Spike reverted to human features, blue eyes darkening to a nearly navy storm as he bent his head. "Hold it up for me. Help me do it the way it doesn't hurt."_

_ "It won't hurt." Buffy reassured. She hadn't had any cracked nipples or swollen glands in these first two weeks, largely because of Vance's help and Slayer healing._

_ Spike snuggled his jaw between her satiny wet cleavage and moved to the slightly puffy areola and engorged, dark nipple of one breast. He razed his tongue over it, then swirled it, before suckling softly._

_ The pull went from her nipple to her womb, still in a sort of after shock state, but it was pleasurable. "More."_

_ He obliged gladly, still slowly working. Milk dropped lightly onto his tongue and then squirted once. He moved to the other breast and repeated the process. _

_ "Oh good God." Buffy's legs trembled and dropped from his waist. "Wow."_

_ "I think they call it the uterine arc." Spike grinned to himself, realizing just why his wife had gone all weak kneed._

_ "Y-You mean it's supposed to be all linked up inside like that? I thought you were being all super vampire and making it happen." She looked up worriedly. "It doesn't happen with the baby though."_

_ "Yeah, but that's 'cause you're his mum and that's his dinner." He laughed gently. "I'm your vamp an' that's my soddin' playground, top half anyway. An' soon I'm gonna get to my lower level." He patted her curly nest with circling fingertips._

_ "Well, we could try to get some of the-" Buffy was about to make a naughty suggestion when a wailing static sound interrupted her. _

_ "Little rascal." Spike grinned. "He told me two hours."_

_ "You didn't do the lullaby right- bad things happen." She sing songed. _

_ "Pipe down, Precious."_

_ "Won't."_

_ "Infuriating woman." Spike hopped from the shower and put a towel around his waist. It tented obviously and he shook his head. "When you're done with him, maybe you can find time to help me with this?"_

_ "I promise." She grinned._

_ Spike nodded and warbled happily as he set off down the hall. "Comin', William James. Don't need to be so loud, Daddy has super hearin'!"_

_ Buffy dried off and moved towards the bulky bathrobe Dawn had bought her during this winter when the pregnancy had made her feel more chilly and needing to be wrapped in layers. Her hand paused on the thick sleeve. "I don't think I need you this fine spring day." She wrapped her towel around herself instead, her confidence restored by Spike's worshipful attitude._

_ "The boy says he's hungry." Spike trotted in, eyes fixated at the pale bundle in his arms. "Init so? Init so, Daddy's boy is hungry?" He crooned. William made a little gurgling sound. "That means yes." He explained to Buffy._

_ "You know you're really cute with the baby, don't you?"_

_ "Glad you think so. I think it's him, though. He makes anyone cute. Even Xan looked cute holdin' him."_

_ "I'm gonna tell him you said that."_

_ "Don't, it'll ruin me." Spike laughed and handed the baby to its mother. "You feed, I'm gonna go upload the pictures."_

_ "You? Upload?" Buffy sprawled on her side, and nestled the infant beside her, helping him latch on to feed. She looked down on him with wondering eyes._

_ "Willow teaches when she's bored. An' she's been dead bored not goin' to class for a few weeks." Spike clarified, holding up the digital camera and panning through the pictures. "Gotta print some of these as well. 'Specially this one. I'm gonna give this one to your grandpa and grandma, William." Spike said with a faraway smile._

_ "Spike, don't joke about it." Buffy warned._

_ "Oh, I'm dead serious, Luv." Spike came over and showed her a photo of Vance and Giles, taken just last night. Giles was holding William and Vance was hovering by the arm of the couch, a soft, almost Mona Lisa-esque smile on her face. "I'm gonna give it to 'em on their wedding day. Tell 'em to thank William. After all he brought them together."_

_ "You might be right." Buffy forced herself to smile a little at the thought. She did like Vance, a lot, and she thought she could see the whole "hand of destiny" working- she should be able to anyway, she'd seen the damn thing often enough as "the chosen one". "I'd like it if you were right. He's done so much for us, and he deserves a shot at being happy. Like we are. With his own family."_

_ "His own family." Spike murmured and looked at the two most precious things in the world lying cozy on his bed, in his home. "That is a gem of a thing, I've got to agree." He shut the camera and put it away. "Can I sit with you two?" He asked hesitantly._

_ "Of course! We belong to you, silly." Buffy motioned him over with the arm not cradling William._

_ Spike sat down, and then slowly lowered himself onto his side, facing Buffy, listening to William's slow and steady heartbeat, watching the tiny rise and fall of his lungs. "I belong to you both, too." Spike whispered, watching Buffy stare at his son with an enraptured look on her face._

_ Buffy lifted her head and met his eyes, beaming. "We know." _


	12. Chapter 12

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for Lithium Reaper who wanted to hear the details of Xander and Willow's passionate encounter, which led to a surprise, as you know if you read Starting Over._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXIX of Starting Over)

Communications

_"Hello, Vance."_

_ "How'd you know it was me?" Her laugh sparkled across the phone lines._

_ "Lovely invention, caller recognition on the cellphone." Giles laughed back. He'd laughed and smiled more in this last month than he had in the last ten years._

_ "How're the children?"_

_ "Beautiful! Did you get all the pictures of Tanya?"_

_ "Yes, I've- I've taken the liberty of putting them on my desk. The one of them together."_

_ "As you should." Giles licked his lips. He'd love to say something along the lines of "they're your family" but that was premature and presumptuous. Instead he laughed again. "They are the most beautiful boy and girl on earth, after all."_

_ "You say that, all grandfathers do." Vance smiled. In her flat, she undid her wet towel from around her brunette locks and teased them out. _I wonder if I look sexy? Oh, Lord, what am I, fourteen?

_ "Well, I happen to be right." Giles put away is afternoon tea things and looked adoringly at his new screen saver. A month old William and a four day old Tanya were lying together on his lap as he beamed at Dawn who held the camera. "It's a bloody good thing we had a girl and a boy. I don't know what I'd do if they were both the same gender. I couldn't pick the most beautiful."_

_ "What am I to do with you?" Vance tittered, and flopped down on her bed, easing her slippers off after a long day on her feet._

_ "I suppose you'll have to put up with me or hang up." _Oh, brilliant Rupert, let's put _that_ idea into her head.

_ "But you just rang. And 'Touch of Frost' isn't on for another half hour."_

_ "I could keep you talking for that long, just about." He smirked and closed his laptop. Vance distracted him from writing proper notes and emails. But he could spare half an hour, surely._

_ "I'm sure you could keep me talking until the morning, Giles." _Did that sound like an innuendo? I didn't mean it as one. Did I?

_ He blushed and self-consciously tugged his earring. That turn of phrase put lewd thoughts in his head. Not yet, not yet, not yet... "You're very kind." He coughed. "Tell me about your day?"_

_ "Yours must be so much more fascinating."_

_ "I put in a dozen tomato plants and helped my new neighbor catch her Siamese cat as it was fleeing from her labrador puppy." He commented drily. "That was the highlight of my day."_

_ "No vampires and witches?" Vance whispered in a hushed tone._

_ "Only the proud mother and father who let me have my grandfatherly visitation rights this morning." He chuckled._

_ "Is Tanya's hair coming in red?"_

_ "No, the exact shade of Xander's, dark brown. It looks like it might get lighter though, she has some wisps of softer coloring."_

_ "Still, what a shame, Willow has lovely hair."_

_ "I- I quite prefer brunettes." Giles confessed._

_ "I rather prefer them myself." Giles' salt and pepper hair, still more pepper than salt emblazoned itself in her mind._

* * *

><p><em> "Tea up." Joey put two paper cups in front of Vance as she slumped at her desk.<em>

_ "You're wonderful." She took the cup gratefully and made a face. "Bloody canteen tea."_

_ "Ditchwater." He laughed and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the desk, the scant foot of space where he leaned his clipboard and did paperwork. "What a grand day. National Health and ditchwater tea."_

_ "I'll be glad when this day is over." Vance sighed. "I'm putting my feet up, getting a nice curry takeaway and drinking a big, big glass of wine."_

_ "No phone calls to make?" Joey asked suspiciously, raising one eyebrow._

_ "Phone calls?" Vance suddenly became very interested in her mound of paperwork._

_ "Yeah. Uh- you ever hear from that Dawn girl?"_

_ "Dawn?" Vance's own eyebrows raised. "Dawn, as in American Dawn?"_

_ "That's her." It was Joey's turn to find his National Health papers fascinating._

_ "I haven't heard from her, no. But she now has an infant nephew and niece to help care for, as well as picking up all the- a lot of the family chores."_

_ "So you're talking to someone over there." Joey's brown eyes sparkled knowingly. "The older man? One of us?"_

_ "You make us sound like some cult." Vance sidestepped the question with a blush._

_ "The cult of speakin' proper English." He snorted. _

_ "You come from Manchester, Joe. Proper English is all in the hearing. Besides-" her own eyes twinkled, "you _wanted _an American girl, if I remember correctly. Like Tom Petty's song." Joey shrugged at her teasing tone._

_ There was a mutually convenient silence for a few minutes before Joey asked casually, "Got anymore pics of the baby you delivered for the Yanks? Lovely little things." He tapped his pen against the recent addition to her desk, a framed picture of two infants._

_ "Oh! I do." Vance knew she was giving herself away. They saw hundreds of babies each year. You didn't keep pictures of everyone you delivered. Unless it was personal. But... they were so sweet. The whole family. She'd been taken into their small, secretive world and made one of them, just for two weeks. But it was the best two weeks of her life. She wasn't just a doctor then. She'd been- like family, that was the only way she could think to describe it. She'd changed nappies and given baths, washed dishes and run to the store with Xander for milk, coffee, and diapers, slept down the hall from Giles, worried and paced when Xander, Spike, and Dawn went on "patrol", and even attended the baby shower. "The- the grandfather sent me a dozen the other day. I can get into my home account, give me a minute."_

_ Joey nodded and scribbled, getting more forms into the out pile. He liked the cute children, yes. But he wanted to see a face for the girl he'd talked to on and off for five hours. He'd given her his email and phone number- on the pretext of offering help if needed. He didn't have her contact information though. And if the girl couldn't tell when a bloke wanted you to call, she was thick anyway, right? Or maybe she was just busy, or-_

_ "Here we go." Vance motioned Joey to stand beside her. He came over quickly. _

_ "Who are all these folks?"_

_ "That's Giles. He's the grandfather. The tiny one is Tanya, and the older one is William."_

_ "He's a good lookin' bloke for a granddad, Vee." Joey said pointedly._

_ "He- he's in his early fifties, late forties."_

_ "An' what are you?"_

_ "Joseph Brooke!"_

_ "Forty?" _

_ "Joey!"_

_ "You look after yourself, Vee, don't look a day over thirty, if you ask me." Joey flattered. "But just considerin' a few things. You've been a resident here for-"_

_ "Oh for God's sake, I'm thirty nine and three quarters." She petulantly clicked to the next photo. "That's Willow and Xander."_

_ "Weird names. Is it fancy dress? Is he kitted out like a pirate?"_

_ "He lost his eye in an- accident." She hurriedly clicked past the beaming parents who held their tiny baby girl between them. "This is - these are William's parents." She didn't dare tell him their names, he'd die laughing. But once you got to know them- the names fit, didn't seem any odder than Joey or Pete. Certainly not stranger than "Vance"._

_ "The vampire." Joey breathed when he looked at the father. He'd seen cadavers with the same skin tone. He hadn't expected the man to look- so normal. Bright blue eyes, riotous curly blonde spikes, a smug but joyful grin that was universal to first time dads the world over._

_ "What?" Vance almost knocked over her tea. "What?"_

_ "Oh- uh- some pair. Some pair, cute couple. Kid's gonna look good. That's Dawn's sister isn't it? She's a looker." Joey spoke hurriedly._

_ "Are you only interested in this to see Dawn, you perverted boy?"_

_ "I'm curious! Sue me."_

_ "She's just turning nineteen. Older man. Cradle robber."_

_ "Oh, shut it an' let me see her." _

_ Vance clicked through quickly. "I know she was in one- oh. Here." _

_ Joey looked at the kittenish, practically elfin face with a smile that stretched almost literally ear to ear. With wide, wide blue eyes. Long, cascading smooth hair. Like silk, he would just bet it was like silk. It was like a bloody shampoo commercial that hair, long an' straight, all the way down to the curve of that petite little- "Oi!" The picture was gone suddenly._

_ "You were about to drool down your front." Vance regarded him with cool amusement. "I thought you were interested in Leslie down in radiology."_

_ "She's a Liverpool supporter. Irreconcilable differences."_

_ "What about Gwen in the NIC-U?"_

_ "Caught her an' Olson in the car park, about to head for home, an' not in his Merc." He made a sour faced grin._

_ "She's a sweet girl." Vance smiled softly._

_ "Gwen?"_

_ "Dawn!"_

_ "She didn't seem too bloody sweet. Bit of a shrew. But I liked it. She was lookin' after her people, an' it didn't seem like the situation was too easy over there."_

_ "I'll mention you asked after her when I speak to Gi- her father." _

_ "So you are speaking to him!" Joey crowed in triumph. "We're goin' out after shift! We're gonna get pissed as newts an' you're gonna tell me all about-" Joey's victory dance ended suddenly as his foot caught again in Vance's black bag, trapped under the desk. "Soddin' broom cupboard!" Joey growled angrily, knocked onto his backside, the lacy black bra, bottle of face cleanser and typed pages he'd seen last time he tripped now flung into his lap._

_ "I've been asking them to knock down a wall and let us extend the office. You may have saved them the trouble." Vance laughed and helped him to his feet._

_ "Don't mock, I've broken my coccyx." Joey groaned, shuffling up. "Why'nt you ever lock your damned baggage, Vance?"_

_ "I keep my aspirin in there, keep reaching in for it." Vance removed the bra with a snatch and then realized that Joey was holding her demonology/obstetrics papers. "Let me take that." She hurriedly tore it from his hands. _

_ "Vee-"_

_ "Don't say anything." Her face flamed. She couldn't bear it if Joseph laughed at her. She'd never told him, because he was a dear friend, almost like a son- a very dear son and friend combination. She couldn't face his scorn, his questions, his possibly reporting her to the psychiatric care ward. _

_ "But, Vee-"_

_ "Don't say anything, Joseph Brooke." She hissed, slamming the bag back under her desk, cursing herself for leaving that old manuscript in there, cursing herself for not using a staff locker, cursing herself for never zipping the damn thing._

_ "Please. One sentence? Three words."_

_ "Oh, Joey, don't. Don't tell me you love me, like I've suddenly gone mad or you've caught me boozing it up and you think I need an intervention." She pleaded, a bitter laugh in her voice._

_ "It's not that. Please?"_

_ "Very well. And if the three words are 'you need help', I don't want to hear them, either."_

_ "It's not that, I promise."_

_ "Fine. Three words." Vance steeled herself for whatever he was about to say, pointedly keeping her head turned from him._

_ "I believe you." Joey said simply, and pulled her to face him, one broad, large boned hand on her shoulder._

_ "You believe me?" Vance shook her head stupidly._

_ "You never zip that bag. I knocked it over a few months ago. I- read it. I'm sorry, an' I should've told you, been upfront. I read it, an' I talked to Dawn on the phone. She asked for a cup of blood at one point, but not for her. I figure- if werewolves exist, why not vampires? An' why would they ask for a bloody awesome doctor- but from a pretty rundown little hospital- to fly to New York to deliver a baby, unless it was special?" He smiled hesitantly. "You gonna get me sacked? For readin' your personal things?"_

_ "What would I say? I'd have to show them what you read." Vance laughed hoarsely._

_ "You gonna be mad at me, then? Snoopin' like I did?"_

_ "Why do you believe it? Why aren't you thinking I'm an old lush or I've gone round the bend? I wouldn't be the first doctor who cracked under the pressure of too many forms and not enough time."_

_ "Because you're the best doctor in the world, and the kindest woman I know. Plus, you're bloody smart, an' you'd help anyone. I figure you wouldn't lie. Why would you lie? It wasn't like you told me, it was your private paper." He laughed, his deep voice breaking into a splintering, skipping chuckle. "An' anyway, even if you lied to the rest of the world, I figured, you wouldn't lie to me. Not ever."_

_ "Oh, Joey, you're a good, good boy." Vance gasped in relief and hugged him tightly._

_ "Hush now, you silly bint."_

_ "I never thought I could tell you."_

_ "After shift, we're gonna get that curry, an' that wine- well, lager for me, an' you're gonna tell me all about your young man-" he teased, "an' this mystical twaddle. Alright?"_

_ "Alright." Vance wouldn't tell him about the family in New York. But she would tell him about all the phenomena she'd seen, about the werewolf/human couple. Maybe someday she'd tell him all about Giles and Buffy, all of them._

_ "Dr. Brooke to the pharmacy, please. Dr. Brook to the pharmacy." A loudspeaker crackled._

_ "Init that always the way?" He sighed and put his clipboard back under his arm and his pen behind an ear, nestled in dark sandy brown curls._

_ "It is." Vance wiped at her eyes, smudging her black eyeliner. "Now get on to the pharmacy before they come up here and drag you out."_

* * *

><p><em> "Let him read the report." Dawn rocked William while Giles burped Tanya. <em>

_ "Did she just spit up again?"_

_ "No, you're clean." Dawn peered down his back._

_ "I bet you ten to one she's lactose intolerant."_

_ "She can't be allergic to breast milk. Can she?"_

_ "I don't know. I'll ask Vance."_

_ "Back to me then. Let him read the report."_

_ "But-"_

_ "But if he believes her, and he didn't freak about the werewolf baby, he won't freak about William. What if- what if something happens to Vance, which is a big ten on the God forbid scale, but shouldn't there be another doctor somewhere in the world who could help? And how much of it was Spike issues, and how much of it was slayer issues? Huh? You've got a hundred girls who might want to be mommies someday." Dawn held up William, placing his pale cheek to hers and looking at Giles with pleading doe eyes. "Don't they deserve to have someone to help them bring beautiful healthy babies into the world?"_

_ "Whoa. You've still go it, Dawnie." Buffy pushed into the nursery (William's) with a big smile. "You're lucky Giles. She once got my mother to agree that a trip to Disneyland was a medical necessity."_

_ "Without the adorable baby props." Dawn reluctantly handed William over. _

_ "I have to speak to everyone about this. This isn't my decision to make. A-And even if it was, I don't know him personally. I trust Vance, but I must meet this young man in person, before divulging anything."_

_ "You just want an excuse to fly to London and make wild monkey love with the pretty doctor." Xander came into the nursery as well, overhearing the last part of the conversation._

_ "I- we- there will be no-" Giles' cheeks flamed and he sputtered. "And not in front of the children!" He covered Tanya's tiny ears, pressing one hand over her round head and the other ear to his warm chest._

_ "What aren't we doing in front of the children?" Willow walked slowly into the room. She hadn't had an easy labor in spite of it being in a proper hospital with actual doctors. At seven weeks postpartum it still hurt her to walk long distances and up stairs._

_ "Not talk about Giles and Vance having wild monkey s-e-x."_

_ "They did?" Willow's eyes lit up. "When?"_

_ "No!" Giles passed Tanya to her doting father. "I'm going home."_

_ "G-Man, wait. Don't be mad." Xander caught his sleeve. _

_ "Yeah, Grandpa, don't be mad." Willow pretended to speak for Tanya._

_ "Please don't do that, it disturbs me." Giles sighed. "And the only reason we are having this patently ridiculous conversation is because Dawn likes Vance's intern. Email him! You have his email, I know you do."_

_ "But- but I can't. I can't let myself get to know him if we're not letting him on this. I won't do it." She crossed her arms and glared. "Nope. No way. I'm not going to get all goofy over a guy who doesn't even have the remote possibility of knowing my deal before he decides whether or not he wants to get involved." Dawn thought Joey suspected a lot about them due to the comment he'd made about vampires during their one and only conversation. Even if he hadn't read the report on William, Giles had passed on the information from Vance that she and Joey were talking about "unusual obstetric" cases._

_ "Dawnie, it's just an email." Willow said gently. "You type 'hello, thank you for your help'. He types back 'you're welcome, nice talking to you', yadda yadda."_

_ "And then someday maybe we like each other and I type 'Hi Honey, I'm part of a secret organization of demon killers and world-savers. Do you still want to go out?' No. I'm not getting rejected because of my job, and I'm not lying to someone about it or pretending to be normal. I'm weird and I'm okay with it. I'm more normal than you guys." She crooked her lips in a slightly smug grin._

_ "He might have a girlfriend. He might be married. All he-" Buffy tried to interject._

_ "So, he's not the guy for me to start liking. He could still help us out on the medical side of things. If he likes me like a friend, or even if he doesn't, there are a lot of girls who could use some help. And if he's an OB, I bet he has other medical training. Like Vance. Didn't Vance used to work in the emergency room, Giles?"_

_ "She did, yes. She mentioned that."_

_ "The Alliance should have- have medics. Like we have wiccas and Watchers and demon hunters, not just slayers. We should have someone who can help with the getting hurt end of things, who won't ask awkward questions, 'cause they already know the answers."_

_ "She has a point." Xander said after a moment._

_ "A good point. This whole being a pregnant person thing would have been way easier if I could have just said, 'No, you may not worry about the baby's heart rate, his daddy is undead. Figure that into your equation.'" Buffy sighed._

_ "I'll speak to Vance." Giles said. "And then I'll meet the boy if he's at all a good candidate. Will that suffice?"_

_ "Suffice what?" Spike was the last to come in. He'd been having his nightly cigarette. _

_ "This is the last time the four of you go out to dinner and leave me to babysit. All sorts of diabolical plots happen." Giles huffed and walked out of the room._

_ "What happened? We were only gone two hours!" Spike demanded to his retreating back. When he got no answer, he turned to the rest of the family. "Talk." He looked at Dawn._

_ "Oh... it's Watcher love stuff." Dawn waved her hand in the air dismissively. _

_ "Ah. The doctor?"_

_ "And the intern, apparently." Buffy gave her sister a knowing glance._

_ "Oh, Bit..." Spike looked heavenward. "Not you, too."_

_ "No, not me, too!" Dawn sighed and rolled her eyes. Summer had begun and she had moved out of the dorms, back into the house. She was regretting that right now. She would have liked to leave the house with an "I'm so independent" flourish, but as it was, she would have to settle for leaving the room. "You guys are crazy." She stomped out of the door, only to collide with Giles._

_ "I-uh- didn't kiss the children goodnight." He mumbled, and came in quickly, pecked each infant on the cheek and let his anger slowly melt away when he saw the genuinely loving looks his own "children" were giving him. Even Spike didn't seem to be inclined to tease. "I'm sorry. I'm out of sorts."_

_ "We shouldn't push this thing with Vance. She likes you a lot, and you like her. We'd love it if you two liked each other more, if it made you happy. We just want you to be happy, that's all." Buffy said gently._

_ "Things take time, sometimes." Xander looked at Willow lovingly._

_ "I'm still your most favorite Watcher-to-Be, right?" Dawn relented herself, and leaned against Giles' side._

_ "Most definitely. But don't tell Robson." They shared a smile. _

_ "Oh good. The family is all better." Willow breathed deeply. Her maternal instincts had brought out a reoccurrence of the sensitive side of herself, the one that was ever alert to even the slightest tensions._

_ "Of course we are, Red." Spike dandled William in the crook of one arm, feeding his finger into one tiny fist. "Look at that grip." He murmured, sidetracked. "Of course we're fine. This is the best family in the world. Init, William James? Init?" _

_ "Buffy. you're going to have to hire a tutor if you let Spike speak that dockyard accent to the baby." Giles sighed._

_ "Grandpa can be the posh one. Daddy's the tough one."_

_ "Throw in the way Buffy speaks and it's doomed anyway." Xander laughed._

_ "What do you mean by that? Huh?" Buffy cried, eyes blazing._

_ "Oh, Buff-"_

_ "Don't ' Oh, Buff' me, Captain Jack!"_

_ "Oh, that's a good song." Giles reminisced._

_ " 'Only the Good Die Young' is better." Spike countered._

_ "You would say that."_

_ "I'd be right. Look at Buffy an' I."_

_ "You're good now?"_

_ "Oh, God, shut up!" Xander shouted._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn tiptoed from the room where her family was arguing, laughing, and holding the new additions to the clan. With a sudden straightening of her shoulders and stiffening of her jaw, she marched to her room and silently shut the door. She pulled the laptop on her desk to the bed, and opened it. With a long exhale, she dug around in her Watcher's Journal and found what she was looking for, a hastily scribbled note in a myriad of writing about the birth of her nephew, the first ever child of a slayer, the first ever child of a slayer and a vampire.<em>

_ Dawn began to type._

_To: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com_

_From: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net_

_Hi Dr. Brooke,_

_ I just wanted to say thank you for helping me help my sister and brother-in-law deliver their baby. He's healthy and beautiful. You helped. So thanks._

_Sincerely,_

_Dawn Summers_

* * *

><p><em> Dawn looked at the email. "This is so lame. But... it's just a thank you. I won't write him again until I know how much they're telling him." Dawn hit send before she could wimp out.<em>

_ "Niblet?" Spike's voice was soft outside the door._

_ "Spike? Come in." Dawn shut her laptop quickly._

_ "I jus'- you fancy some hot chocolate, Bit?"_

_ "Love some. Aren't you going to put William to bed, though?"_

_ "Buffy's got him. Then I'm on tonight, so I figured, gotta spend time with my Niblet."_

_ "Spike, I'm not suffering from sibling rivalry or anything, okay? I never felt like you were my dad." Dawn walked across the room to him._

_ "You're still my best mate." Spike smiled gently. "You loved me first, before any of 'em. Even Buffy."_

_ "I'm the brains, gotta say." She grinned conceitedly._

_ "You an' me, Niblet. God help the rest of them without us, right?"_

_ "Oh, totally!" Dawn clutched his arm gratefully, glad someone else understood who was really running the show- even if they both knew it wasn't true. None of them could function as well without the others. "But we won't tell them will we?"_

_ "Not often. Hurts their little feelin's." Spike winked. "So... this doctor bloke?"_

_ Dawn's hackles rose and fell. It was Spike. "He seemed nice. Not a lot to go on. He was open to the whole idea of other worldly creatures not being so otherworldly."_

_ "Age?"_

_ "Old enough to be an intern."_

_ "Accent?"_

_ "Gentler than yours, rougher than Giles'."_

_ "Polite?"_

_ "Enough. I was kinda busy getting baby birthing instructions, Spike. Not big on scoping out the manners."_

_ "Good point." Spike nodded sagely. "I'm still the acid test, right? Gotta get through me, to get to you?"_

_ "Absolutely."_

_ They sat in the kitchen in silence for a minute once they got down the stairs. Willow and Xander had gone home. So had Giles. Buffy was upstairs nursing William and putting him to sleep. "I'm still the big bad vampire brother, aren't I?"_

_ "Forever. Even after I-"_

_ "Don't say that." Spike spat angrily, eyes flaming suddenly._

_ "Why? It'll happen. You and Buffy are going to outlive all of us." Dawn shrugged. She didn't want to leave this world, never wanted to die- but she'd never actually been born. It made her see things clearly when she thought without getting too emotional. Of course- with all these people to love, the emotions didn't stay out of it too often._

_ "Please don't- don't say that, though, Bit. Don't want to think about it."_

_ "You think about it all the time. You thought about it the second you saw William and realized he-" Dawn swallowed suddenly, unable to finish the thought. "I'll always be your Niblet, your Little Bit. No matter where we are."_

_ "Alright." Spike sniffed in fiercely and ruffled her hair. "Cocoa ain't gonna make itself, girl."_

_ "You offered, you make it." She blinked hard._

_ "That wasn't explicitly stated."_

_ "It was implied." She fixed him with a frosty blue glare._

_ "You're gonna give any bloke a hell of a fight, Pigeon."_

_ "I still need you to sort the boys from the men, okay?"_

_ "It's a promise." Spike got to his feet and went to the stove with a little smile on his face._

* * *

><p><em> Joey stumbled from his bedroom to his bathroom, clad only in his United boxers. "Oh, bloody hell." He winced when he saw himself. Bloodshot eyes, three day scruff, and his hair was sticking out every which way. "It's not drink this time, Mum, I swear." He moaned, getting into the shower. "If we could just put a zip on the uterus, obstetrics'd be so simple." He leaned back under the spray, a puzzled look came over his face. "What the- shit!" A wet pair of boxers flew out from the shower and into the sink. "That's when you know you've been overworked." He groaned. "Look Lord, I don't ask for much. Steady Man U. wins. Mums to stay alive on the table, healthy sprats- okay, so I ask for a lot. But could you jus' give me somethin' to get through this shift? An' could you keep it to one shift for tonight?" Joey picked up his razor and lathered his chin. "Alright. That's me finished. Amen."<em>

_ Joey looked at the clock on the microwave as he stood in his bachelor kitchen, bare chested in his khakis and trainers. He had found one clean cup- miraculously- and the coffee pot had been set last night- so he had something to put in it- and he managed to make a marmalade sandwich to jam in his mouth as he found a clean shirt. If he didn't get a break soon, there'd be no clean laundry, no clean dishes, and nothing to eat in the flat. _

_ "Bloody hate Mondays." Joey clicked his computer on while he swallowed the last of his uninspiring breakfast. "Spam. Spam. Pornographic spam, stupid wankers. Oh, nice legs. Jesus, they're gettin' bold aren't they? Illegal, I'm gonna get viruses..." Joey frowned and hesitantly clicked a message from "sweet16nleatherboots" and blinked. A slow smile spread across his face as he read the email once, read it twice, and then paused, hands over the keyboard, eyes rolled up to his ceiling._

_ "You do work in mysterious ways, Lord. Nice one, Guv." And Joey began to type._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn opened her email for the thirtieth time that day. <em>He's a doctor. He's in a different time zone. He could be busy. Or he could be thinking you don't send a thank you for a thank you note. Or that waiting almost three months to thank him is pretty shabby._ Dawn shut her computer. _Focus on Giles and Vance. You have your whole life ahead of you and you talked to the intern guy ONCE. Giles and Vance need to step things up. Now, before they get old and gross.

_"Gi-iiiiiles!"_

_ "Wha-at?" Giles resorted to stooping to her level, something he only did when frustrated. Which he was. Kennedy was in Cleveland, on her own, and refused to work with another slayer, or even a watcher, and there weren't any good wiccas in the area, and demon hunters were almost nonexistent, a few in LA and handful elsewhere, and he was damn tired of exchanging angry emails with her._

_ "Do you want me to email the Bitch Slayer? You need a break." Dawn was upstairs in Tanya's nursery, which, like William's nursery, had a second, small portable crib for her "sibling". Giles was downstairs working while Willow ran to the magic store for supplies, and Xander and Buffy were training in the basement._

_ "Don't swear in front of the baby!"_

_ "Sorry. Do you want me to take over email? Tanya's about to go down for a nap, anyway."_

_ "I suppose..."_

_ "Sleep tight, little angel." Dawn kissed her niece and put her in her crib. Tanya fussed once. "I know. You want William. He's with Uncle Spike. I bet he misses you, too. You'll see him at dinner, don't worry." Tanya regarded her with sleepy green eyes, and then smiled and gurgled before she shut them and fell asleep. "You're a smart little cookie, aren't you?" Dawn giggled, and picked up her laptop and the Black Chronicles she was reading as part of her Watcher training._

_ "Dawn, you'd better let me handle this. Kennedy isn't listening to the head of the Alliance, I don't think she'll listen to you." Giles said reluctantly when Dawn came down the stairs. "You keep reading, and I'll quiz you tomorrow."_

_ "Giles, I don't think she will listen to me at all. But you need a break. You whined. You only whine when you want to punch something but can't."_

_ "Or when some young lady drives me insane." He muttered._

_ "Exactly. Go call Vance."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Go call Vance. Say hi. Five minute de-grumping." Dawn wheedled, but her actions were firm. She pulled Giles by his elbow and fished his cell phone from the pile of papers and led him to the back door. "Go walk in the yard, get some sunlight for once in your life."_

_ Giles heaved another sigh and obeyed, silently, secretly thrilled. Making sure that no one was watching him, he slid off to the shady yard and called the lovely doctor._

_ "Hello, Vance? Is this is a good time to talk? You're probably busy, aren't you?"_

_ "Giles! It's always a very welcome pleasure to talk to you." _

_ Giles loved that voice. Especially now. He had thought it was silvery when he'd gotten to know her and talk to her during her brief stay in the states. But the way it was now... it was still silver, but it had warmed up, become more intimate, more dulcet, and relaxed. It felt like talking to an old friend, even though he'd known her for less than a year. "The pleasure is mine, believe me." He smiled and laughed once. _

_ Dawn finished typing the email furiously. To think she'd ever enjoyed spending time with that girl. Selfish...arrogant...made Willow cry... of course, if she hadn't left, Willow and Xander wouldn't have seen what was staring them in the face, and her niece wouldn't be cuddled up on her little pink plaid sheets upstairs. Dawn erased some of the more personal comments and re-read it. _

_ "Work with a Watcher or at least a team. It's a Hellmouth. You're trying to do things the old-fashioned way. If you want to die before you're twenty-five, fine, no biggie for us. But-" Dawn paused and erased the last line, and tried again. "If you want to die before you're twenty-five, keep going it alone, like everyone else, but, think of all the lives you won't save, all the evil you won't defeat. You like the saving the world, right? Stay in it! _

_ And seriously, you're giving Giles a migraine with your bitchy 'tude, and you can quit it right now. I don't know if you're wigged because of Willow and Xander having the baby, but don't throw your own life away. Live and find someone to have kids with, if that's what you want. Even if it isn't, you could still make friends. There are lots of slayerettes who would love to train with the legendary Kennedy. Stop being stupid."_

_Love,_

_ Dawn"_

_ Dawn paused, changed the signature to simply "Dawn", and hit send. She prepared to close her laptop when she saw the "sending and receiving" message circling in the bottom of the screen. She paused, and was rewarded._

_To: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net_

_From: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com_

_Hi there, Girly,_

_ You half gave me a coronary, Summers. I thought "sweet16nleatherboots" had to be something quite plain brown wrapper._

_ Don't mention the help. Pleased to do it. A friend of Vance is a friend of mine. She's shown me pics of the babies. I see plenty of babies, and these are adorable. If they've got any troubles, don't hesitate to drop me a line, or give us a ring. _

_Joey_

_ Spike coughed gently. "Niblet?"_

_ "Spike!" Dawn yelped and turned. There was a flash of pain in his eyes and she rolled her own, mentally shouting at herself to get a grip. _

_ "Thought I'd bring William over. He's hungry, finished all the readies Buffy left in the fridge."_

_ "She's in the basement." Dawn nodded quickly. Spike looked at her for a minute and then walked towards the door._

_ "Right, then. C'mon, Willie. Nummies."_

_ "Spike- could you- translate something to American for me?"_

_ "To English?"_

_ "No, from English to American."_

_ "Ahh." Spike shifted William to his other arm and came to Dawn's side. Wordlessly, he read the email, reading her own first. "Ah."_

_ "Plain brown wrapper- pornographic?"_

_ "Must be the slang for it." Spike looked at her email address and then at her. "Boy obviously doesn't know much about good music."_

_ "Iggy Pop ignoramus." Dawn laughed. "So...what do you think?"_

_ Spike had a moment of conflict. "You should find a link to the song an' send it to him, the fool. As if someone like you could ever be a bit 'plain brown wrapper'." He pursed his lips and snorted disdainfully._

_ "Do you think that means he's into that?"_

_ "Not necessarily. All the same," Spike rolled his shoulders suddenly, "I'd let the Watcher vet him for you- before I do."_

_ "So don't write him back?"_

_ "Of course you can write the bloke back. Jus' don't-" Spike suddenly kissed her forehead fervently, "don't get hurt, please, Bit."_

_ "Awww." Dawn hugged him, and the baby. "Your daddy is a big marshmallow under the fangs, William."_

_ "Bloody right. But it's a secret."_

_ "It so isn't." Dawn giggled. _

_ "Promise me you won't go fallin' for him until we get to know him a little, alright? An' promise me you'll set him straight on proper music."_

_ "Will do."_

_ "Ah, my Little Bit. You're quite the catch, you know that, right? You're not gonna sell yourself short to this guy, or any guy, you get that?"_

_ "Duh. You're talking to the girl who has 'waiting for Mr. Right' tattooed on her brain." Dawn slugged his arm. "You really think I'm a catch?" She flushed slightly._

_ "The best catch there is." Spike said stoutly._

_ "But what about Buffy?" Dawn reminded him._

_ "She's already been caught. She's off the market. You're not second place, Dawn, not sayin' that. Jus' sayin'- if we're talkin' about the catch- you're as good as they get, the best there is. You're gonna find a bloke that knows it."_

_ "And you're going to beat him to a bloody pulp if he ever forgets?"_

_ "It's a promise." Spike stroked her hair once, and left her to compose a reply._

* * *

><p><em>Visitations<em>

"Essie? What are you doing?"

"I'm showing Lizzie how many more days until her brother comes back from Anna's." Essie said complacently.

Jim looked up from the current script he was reading, and watched his wife carry their three month old daughter in front of the calendar. "She can't count."

"She won't learn if I don't teach her. See? One, two, three! Three days until your brother comes home."

Jim put down the script and walked to his "two girls", chuckling at Essie's exuberance and Lizzie's wide-eyed stare. "I think Mommy's just a little excited to see her little boy."

"Mommy thinks Daddy is the one who's excited. He's just using me as a shield." Essie pouted at him.

"Maybe." He conceded. "Let me hold the little cuddle bug." Jim took his daughter and snuggled her close. "Ahhh. Nothing like it."

"I know." Essie beamed. "She is cuddly, isn't she?"

"I'm surprised she doesn't scream whenever she isn't being held. I don't think she's had five minutes of down time since birth."

"We're the first to have a baby, that's all." Essie laughed. Their mothers and their friends had been over almost around the clock after Lizzie was born, letting the new mother rest and keeping the house clean. Even Patrick had flown over for a week to do a guest appearance and spend time with his "god-daughter".

"I think it's because she's the most beautiful little princess in the world." Jim rubbed noses with said child.

"Were you this bad with Sul?" Sarah laughed.

Jim thought. "No." He sounded sad. "And I should have been."

"Hey, Jimmy, I didn't-"

"No, it's true. You always act like I'm super dad. When we had Sul, I was a lot younger. I loved him with my entire heart, don't get me wrong, and I wanted to be with him all the time. But two stage actors..." He shrugged.

She swallowed and nodded. Money. Needing it meant you had to work. And Jim had always paid his way. Even though she made way more than him, he had immediately insisted on picking up Matt's part of the mortgage when he moved in. It wasn't quite half, and the house had been almost paid off at that point anyway, but... Anyway, she knew his silence wasn't about recent monetary contributions. It was because working to provide the best had kept him away from his son during a few years of his life that Jim couldn't get back. "It must have been a hard choice."

"Still don't know if I made the right one." He laughed bitterly. "I don't know if Sully will ever think I did, either."

"Honey, look at what you're holding in your arms." Essie whispered, suddenly choked up. "We wouldn't have had her- had each other, if you hadn't stayed here. Not that we're a trade off for time lost, but-"

Jim kissed his wife hard, leaning over suddenly, pressing the baby between them hard enough to earn a startled mewl before pulling back. "You two are worth it. No offense Lizzie," he leaned back and looked at Essie, "but you were worth it, even without her. And Sul's going to agree with me. He loves you so much. Both of you."

"Wanna know what he told me?" Essie pulled her daughter back to her arms and looked into her sleepy eyes. _Nap time_. She motioned Jim to follow her upstairs.

"Yet more Star Wars or guitar legend trivia?" Her husband sighed. "Max should never have brought him those pop culture quiz books to read on the plane..."

"Besides the million things I never needed to know about rock and Trek-ness." Her light voice became serious. "He said his family balanced now. Two boys and two girls."

"He's so deep sometimes." Jim marveled, thinking about how Sul seemed to really reflect on things, life things, not just kid stuff.

"Yeah, well, don't start hooking him up with guru training yet. 'Cause next he said 'Now we just need two girl cats'. Not _quite_ as deep."

"No, that's the kiddie pool end of his brain. But he is funny."

"Super funny. And smart."

"Good with the baby."

"Incredible. Nice to everyone, adults or the kids." Essie placed Lizzie in her crib.

"Kinda perfect." Jim said modestly

"Except for the damage he does to his clothes and that daredevil streak. I wonder where he gets _that _from."

"Shut up. You're just as bad."

They watched Lizzie squirming in her crib for a moment, in contented parental silence. "I'm glad it's only three more days." Essie whispered. "I love being alone with just the two of you. But he really- really is my baby boy."

"He gets that." Jim pressed his lips to her hair, moving his body closer to hers.

"We should make the most of the days left though. With just her, take lots of pictures to ease future sibling rivalry."

"He doesn't have any jealousy towards Lizzie." He protested.

"Not for him, for her. Someday we're going to get the 'you like him best' thing happening." Ess shuddered.

"But we don't, it's equal."

"We just described Sul as 'kinda perfect'."

"Lizzie's going to be her own kind of perfect. Aren't you, baby girl?"

"Yeah... Yeah. She will be." Essie turned and tugged Jimmy's face to meet her eyes, reluctantly leaving their little tadpole. "She has the best father in the world. I mean it with all my heart."

"She has the best mother. Likewise." Jim kissed Ess long and deeply, and started backing away from the crib.

"Do you have to get back to your script?"

"Nope."

"Then where are we going?" She giggled, knowing perfectly well.

"You said make the most of this time. Just the three of us. Or just the two of us." He added suggestively.

* * *

><p><em>"Do you suppose we could have dinner together next week? Just the two of us?" Giles asked casually during his now daily, or at least "every other daily" phone conversation with Vance.<em>

_ "We are, Luv. Well, a meal anyway." Vance said once she swallowed. They were both eating something at any rate._

_ Giles laughed. "I have to come over there on Alliance business. Part of that concerns you, my dear."_

_ "Do tell." Vance tried hard to sound calm but interested. _

_ "We'd like you to fly over for check ups for William." He worded the next portion carefully, lest she take offense. "We would like to pay for the expenses, and your services."_

_ Vance choked in her hurry to decline the offer. "No, please, if you just do the airfare and the hotel, that'll be enough." _

_ "Ah. Yes, we could put you up in a hotel." Giles found himself flushing and feeling annoyed. He'd assumed she'd stay in his guest bedroom again. That this wasn't just long distance friendship and flirting. _

_ "I didn't want to impose on your hospitality." Vance said softly, reading his thoughts._

_ "Oh, please, Vance, no imposition at all! You're always a welcome guest in my home."_

_ "I love the way you talk." Vance smiled. "So courtly. And then I ask you about the 'Spurs or some band or other, and all the docker in you comes out."_

_ "You just wait until I've had a few pints. Well- a few drinks, I can hold my beer."_

_ "I'm sure you can." Vance closed her eyes and pictured the tall, broad shouldered man._ Stop that. No fantasizing! "_I'm confused. You said you were coming here? You don't have to come here to ask me to come there, silly."_

_ "No, I'm glad of that. And we will have to pay you something, Vance, even if it's only a small fee. You can donate it if you wish. But we have to compensate for your lost time at the hospital." Once that was clarified he explained the real reason for his visit. "I have some routine things to do, meet with the heads of other branches. I also wanted to meet Dr. Brooke."_

_ "Joey? Why?"_

_ "He knows of your work."_

_ "I didn't tell him about your case." She said hastily. "Nothing about the supernatural nature of it, although he seems fairly sure Spike is a vampire. I've never told him anything more about your family though."_

_ "Once I meet him- I'd like you to."_

_ "He does suspect, I haven't gone into details, I would never betray your trust, Giles. I mean,_ their _trust."_

_ "Vance- I'd like to meet him. Then I'd like you to tell him. About my family. I'll tell him about others like Buffy. We thought it might be good if there were- well, if there was another doctor besides you that knew about things like this. In case we ever needed them."_

_ "Surely there are at least some?" Vance said reflexively. She couldn't be the only one. She was a simple girl, she supposed it was "simple woman" at this age, and she'd only begun finding out about the strangeness of the world by pure accident._

_ "That's true. But you're the only one who isn't on someone's payroll." Giles thought of the ambiguous entity that was Wolfram and Hart. He'd known he could go there as a last resort. But as a company that was constantly battling the evil it had itself created for years- and what a perfect fit for Angel that turned out to be- he'd rather not risk them being involved with slayers._

_"Payroll?"_

_ "Some doctors are corrupted by money and power, just like anyone in any profession could be. It's easy to slide into. But I- trust you." Giles could not remember the last time he said that to anyone besides Buffy, Xander, Dawn, or Willow. He didn't even know if he'd said it to Spike, not since his wedding day._

He trusts me._ Vance was ashamed to hear how breathless she sounded. "I trust you, as well. If you'd like to meet Joey, I'll arrange it when you come over."_

_ "Only if he's interested, of course." Giles added quickly._

_ "He's very interested._

* * *

><p><em>Joey lay on his bed, ignoring the mountain of laundry surrounding it. He lay back and listened to the fast pace music of The Clash and Iggy Pop. "She's a very interestin' girl ." He told his team pictures and posters. His life was hectic, but it had always been fairly normal. School and A levels finishing at eighteen, then university at twenty one, and an 18 month service combined with medical school with the RAF as field medic and a medic on an aircraft carrier anchored off the Persian Gulf. Then home, a rotation in Casualty and General Internal Medicine before declaring his specialty to be Obstetrics. He'd had enough of death. Time for a bit of life.<em>

_ Internship was ending soon and he'd be a proper resident. His mum would be on him to "settle down" next, probably with a nurse so she'd understand his long hours and double shifts. It would be the next logical step in a hectic, frantic, wonderfully varied life, a life that had gone through its paces nice and sequentially. _

_ That song was starting again. Joey sat up, rugged face framing excited chocolate brown eyes. _

Sweet Sixteen in leather boots

Body and soul I go crazy

Baby, baby I'm hungry Sweet Sixteen

Funky bar all full of faces

Pretty faces, beautiful faces

Body and soul, body and soul, I give to you

_"What kind of girl listens to that hardcore music, looks like a sprite, and thinks of a vampire as a brother? An' interestin' kind of girl." He looked up at his poster of Fergie's Fledglings. "Maybe my kind of girl, yeah?" His poster was silent, as always, but this time he decided it was a pitying, critical silence. "Yeah. That's what I thought." He turned down the loud aggressive music, stupid for feeling like such a nancy, moonin' over a girl he'd never even seen in person. A schoolboy crush at twenty four. Lovely. Bloody marvelous. He angrily turned off his recently downloaded punk rock mix and set his preferences back to his favorites. Something to take his mind off it. He lied down again, aware he needed his rest._

Well, she was an American girl

Raised on promises

She couldn't help thinkin'

That there was a little more to life somewhere else

_Joey sat back up with a curse._

After all it was a great big world

With lots of places to run to

And if she had to die tryin'

She had one little promise she was gonna keep

O yeah, all right

Take it easy, baby

Make it last all night

She was an American girl

_ "Bloody hell..." Joey turned off the music altogether. "Look, God, I need some sleep, or a distraction, or a sign, so if you-" His phone rang shrilly beside him and he grappled for a moment before being able to pick it up. "If this is me havin' to go in an' cover Geoff's shift, God, we're talkin' conversion..." He warned saucily under his breath as he pushed the call button. "Brooke here. If this is the hospital, you can sod off."_

_ "Joey? It's Vee."_

_ "A welcome port in a storm." His tone became less brusque immediately._

_ "What's the matter, Joe?"_

_ "Nothin', Vee. Why the late night ring up? We've got some time off. Thought you'd be havin' a long distance snog with Niles."_

_ "Giles! And- no. Of course not. It's not like that."_

_ "Give him time to cross the pond, an'-"_

_ "He's coming next week." Vance couldn't rest, having this question hanging over her. "Joey, would you ever be interested in learning more about the couples I help? Could I-"_

_ Joey didn't let her finish. "Yes! Talk to me, I've been dyin' to know more."_

_ "Giles would like to talk to you if you're interested. In these things. We'd have to do quite a bit of talking ourselves first, and I have some books you could borrow."_

_ "Sign me up, Vee."_

_ "Joey, please. Consider. This isn't a game, it could be dangerous. It certainly is a bit of a shock. Make sure you're sure." Vance urged desperately. She couldn't bear to let him get into this situation without proper consideration. She couldn't risk him. He wasn't family, but he was all she had._

_ "I'm sure I'd at least like to learn." He closed his eyes and sank his head into his pillow. _I'd be closer to Vance. I'd be closer to the secrets of the universe, more than most people see in a life time, I'd get to know about, maybe even meet some of these extraordinary non-human humans. I might even get to meet Dawn._ "I want to do it Vance. It'd be...interestin'." Joey smiled sleepily. _

_ "Your life is quite interesting enough!"_

_ "Nah. Busy as shit, yeah. But interestin'? Could do with maybe one or two more pieces of excitement." Like the pretty little American girl who was far from boring, even though he barely knew her. "Sign me up, Vee." He repeated. _

_ "You're a good man." Vance grinned._

* * *

><p><em> "Did she ask him?" Dawn sat on Giles' bed and helped him pack.<em>

_ "She did."_

_ "And...?"_

_ "I'll call you as soon as I've finished my first meeting with him." He smiled gently._

_ "Oh." Dawn flushed and then frowned. "Am I stupid?'_

_ "What? No! Far from it!"_

_ "I really like, no- he intrigues me, this guy. For some reason."_

_ Giles sat beside her. "Shall I tell you a secret?"_

_ "If this is about putting the spoon in the cup before the boiling water-"_

_ "No, although if you'd remember that, it'd save my good china." Giles huffed. "No, I was going to say, I don't think you're stupid. I think there is something very appealing about realizing there might be someone else out there who you can trust- even a little, although they don't know you, you haven't had to prove yourself to them, build a long hard friendship. They were there, willing to help, for the sake of helping. It's- refreshing."_

_ "_They _were willing?" Dawn smirked, leaning heavily on the plural._

_ "Vance. And your Joey."_

_ "He's not 'my' Joey." She blushed. "I'm not- in love with him or anything. I don't even know if it's a crush." She shrugged in frustration._

_ "It's interest."_

_ "Yeah. He's smart, and kind of funny. He reminded me a little of Spike, how he argued with me, or teased me, but he was still helping and caring." _

_ "If he reminds you of Spike, I refuse to have dinner with him." Giles scowled._

_ "Giles!"_

_ "Don't fret, dear, I'm teasing you."_

_ "I- I don't like this feeling. Liking some guy and not wanting to like him." Dawn leaned against Giles's shoulder._

_ "Scary?"_

_ "Mega."_

_ "If it makes you feel better- I feel the same about Vance."_

_ "But- she's into you! She kissed you!" Dawn alone knew the secrets of the hour between the baby shower and plane departure._

_ "True. And then we've spent nearly four months talking and writing. She's a friend now. And heaven only knows what happens to our friends. To the women I care for." He coughed suddenly. "And at the very least, I have a new friend, someone I look forward to talking to each day. If I push for more, maybe I'll lose it." He raked his hand through his hair. "Damn. Suppose Spike would lend me a pack of fags?"_

_ "You're not smoking. You're mortal." Dawn scolded. "Don't be scared." She smiled a tiny grin. "You'll always have me."_

_ The older man placed a comforting arm around her slender shoulders. "You'll always have me, too."_

_ "We can be scaredy cats together?"_

_ "Perhaps we'll be brave together as well." He kissed her cheek and stood. "Now, make yourself useful. Pack three shirts in the bag and see if you can't find that blue tie I like." Giles tossed a few stakes in the bottom of the case._

_ "Yep. Things are normal here." Dawn chuckled, and began to dig through the closet._


	13. Chapter 13

**Deleted Scenes**

**by Sweetprincipale**

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for Lithium Reaper who wanted to hear the details of Xander and Willow's passionate encounter, which led to a surprise, as you know if you read Starting Over._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, and DLillith21_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine._

Part XIII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXIX of Starting Over)

Travels

_"Is m' tie on right?"_

_ "Of course your tie is- Joey! What is this, prawn cocktail?" Vance brushed the front of his shirt down, finding an orangey red spot in the midst of his navy tie._

_ "I haven't worn it since the staff party."_

_ "Oh... oh, never mind about you, you have boyish charm. How do _I _look?"_

_ "Smashin'. But he already likes you, _I've_ got to impress him." Joey raked his hands down through his curls and wished he'd found time to get a haircut before meeting this man._ Isn't it customary to meet the girl before you meet her dad? And what if she doesn't even like you like that? Oh well. Still gonna be worth it. Make a change from the hospital, anyway.

_Vance fluffed her hair and straightened her skirt. Giles had never seen her in something "nice". Jeans and sweaters, some causal blouses and trousers, and one business suit. This was a nice skirt, flowing. Feminine. She'd forgotten she could look feminine. She usually looked- well, busy and hidden under a lab coat. "Are you sure I look alright? Is my hair alright at the back?"_

_ "Would you stop? Sit an' drink your tea." Joey and Vance were meeting Giles in the same hotel suite Giles had originally met Vance in. _

_ "You drink yours."_

_ "Can't. Bloody nervous. What if he asks me questions about those books you lent me? I can't remember one from another. An' one of m' mates was over for the match las' night and he saw all the books... He thinks I've gone mad an' joined a role playin' gamer society!"_

_ "I'm surprised he could find your books in that rat's nest you call an apartment." Vance felt a bubble of tension in her stomach going right up through her throat now. Mr. Robson had said Giles would be right up when he dropped them off. That was twenty minutes ago. Were there problems? Was he alright? "We haven't seen each other. In months. What if..." She had a thousand what ifs. What if she was being silly? What if he looked different, or he no longer liked how she looked? What if their steadily deepening friendship and mild flirtations ended with the one kiss they'd shared in America?_

_ "What if what?" Joey stood up and ushered his pacing friend into a chair and pressed her cup into her hand._

_ "I'm being silly." She laughed nervously._

_ "You are. If you're worried that this bloke won't trip all over himself when he catches sight of you- 'specially those legs, Vee-"_

_ "Joey!"_

_ "He's not worth the trouble if he isn't damned impressed."_

_ "It's not like that. Not quite."_

_ A soft tapping at the door ended the conversation. "Come in!" Vance croaked._

_ "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Dawn left me a long message of all the things Spike wants brought home and she says William's teething and he bit through a teething ring. Is that common?" Giles entered, talking more than he usually did to conceal his overwhelming panic about seeing her again. And then he looked up._

_ She was beautiful. And good God, sheer black stockings or tights. "Hello, Vance." He dropped his briefcase heavily onto an armchair and reached forward. "So good to see you."_

_ "Oh, so good to see _you_!" Vance took both of his hands in her own and they clasped them warmly, then bussed each cheek, smiling widely. "Oh, Giles, this is Dr. Joseph Brooke, my very dear friend and colleague."_

_ "Very pleased to meet you, Sir." Joey shook his hand with a firm grip, quietly sizing up the man who was after Vee._

_ "Indeed." Giles fought to look more severe, but he couldn't manage it. When Vance was near him, just like when she spoke to him on the phone, all he could do was grin. "I see they brought tea. Do you want something else? Sandwiches?"_

_ "We're fine. What about you?" Vance asked after a moment. _

_ "I'm fine, fine." Giles nodded. His stomach was too acidic to eat at this moment. He was face to face with another person, another outsider that he was considering letting into his closely guarded, precious family. _

_ In Giles' mind, it didn't matter that Dr. Brooke had been followed for a week by Robson's best operatives and researched heavily by Willow herself, which he considered the highest form of surveillance possible. Brooke was clean cut, except for an inordinate amount of parking tickets and several cautions for disruptive behavior. This worried Giles, until Spike, his brotherly protective instinct on high and who had therefore been stalking Giles' investigations, had suggested seeing if there was any pattern. And there was. They all occurred during Manchester United matches, and all outside the same pub. All in all, a man given to some innocent failings, and much admired by Vance. That, to Giles, spoke volumes._

_ "Giles?" Vance put a hand on his arm. He was staring at Joey fixedly, but not really "looking at him"._

_ "Sorry. D-do forgive me, long flight. Would you both sit down?"_

_ Joey sat warily. The man had just gone off into la-la land for a moment. Not comforting. _

_ "Vance tells me you've done some reading recently." Giles knew he was hopeless at small talk._

_ "Er- yeah." Joey cast a look at Vance. " 'Spected you to start off like they do when you register for service, name, age, date of birth, an' all the rest of it."_

_ "We already know all those things." Giles smiled, but his eyes were hard. "We investigate thoroughly before we even think of contacting someone- on the outside."_

_ "Must have been pretty dire for you to need Vance, then. Small city hospital obstetrician in London, when you've got all those other docs in the States." Joey countered, eyes equally hard._

_ Giles flushed. He hadn't handled the investigation into her life as thoroughly as he should have, he'd left it to Robson. Of course, Brooke was being given an unusually high amount of research for two reasons. One, he was a complete outsider, unlike Vance, who had some minimal connection to the Alliance, at least was known to them. Two, Dawn and he had written each other. Dawn was interested in him. All the familial fire of protection was burning in him. "It was a very serious situation. And you helped with it. We are grateful. I know Dawn sent you a note, I should have done that as well. We all should, it's just been so hectic with two infants and arranging- schedules."_

_ At the mention of Dawn, Joey's face shifted slightly, becoming more relaxed and eager as he leaned forward. "Oh, no, it's fine, Sir. An' I'm glad you picked Vance. She's the best there is."_

_ "I agree with you." Giles' face also softened. "She speaks very highly of you. Which brings me back to- uh- what I began with. You've been doing some requested reading?" He raised one eyebrow slightly, thin, elegant lips in half-smile._

_ "Yes." Joey wanted to say more, but stopped._

_ "Your thoughts o-on what you read?" Giles looked over his glasses. _

_ "Well..." Joey wanted to be polite and honest. Honesty won out. With a half-shouted laugh, he exclaimed, "Bloody crazy- ass readin'! All this time I thought people were droppin' acid an' sniffin' substances when they'd rant about the demons an' monsters."_

_ "Joey! Language!" Vance clucked, slapping his wrist lightly. _

_ "It's alright." Giles smiled genuinely. "It _is_ bloody unbelievable- right until it invades every waking moment of your life. And many of your dreaming ones. Then, sadly, you know it's all too real."_

_ "And most of the people raving about demons _have_ been at the drink and drugs." Vance spoke up. "Real demons are good at covering their tracks, or- or-"_

_ "Or leaving no witnesses, yes." Giles concluded grimly._

_ "But some of these guys are good? I can't imagine Vance helpin' anything evil, baby or not." Joey looked between the two of them._

_ "Harmless, many. Good- not nearly as many. In most cases demons are driven by survival instinct, to feed."_

_ "An' a lot of them feed on things other than fish 'n' chips. I read some of 'em feed on fear, or violence. They don't even have to _eat ._"_

_ "You've done your reading well." Giles looked pleased. _

_ "Oh. Not as good as I'd like. Bloody long week an' bloody thick books. Do I- do I have to know all that stuff? Vee, do you know all that stuff?"_

_ "No, that's why I have the books." Vance laughed. "Right, Giles?"_

_ "Well..." Giles fiddled with his tie._

_ "You know all that? By heart?" Vance gasped._

_ "No! Just- quite a bit of it." Giles stammered modestly under her incredulous gaze. "B-but that's my job. Your job- would be to help take care of women like my - my daughter." _

_ "Dawn?" Joey's eyebrows rose._

_ "Buffy." Giles corrected, his own brows arching. _

_ "Yes, right. The mum." Joey blushed and Vance sighed._

_ "Before I tell you about my family, let me assure you that this is private and secret. If you divulge information about them, you place their lives in danger. More than it always is." He frowned. "What is more, you can't be involved because of an interest in one person, or one family. We'd like to have the two of you available to help many of our contacts."_

_ "I'm fascinated by your family. You got Vance's attention, you an' your family, an' that's hard to do. She's a busy woman an' helped thousands of people, never got caught up like this before." Joey held Giles' gaze and ignored Vance's squeak of protest and her flustered hand rising to her blushing cheek. "I'd like to help anyone who needs the help, plus the money would come in useful. And well- helpin' someone most people never get to even _see,_ that's somethin' to be proud of. 'Specially since you guys are the good guys, right?"_

_ "Right." Giles nodded, liking the young man's reasoning. _

_ "Well, then, it's gotta be on, doesn't it? I mean, helpin' the good guys, the real good guys, against all these demons an' creatures of darkness." Joey threw himself back in his chair with a boyish laugh. "I'm from Manchester! I'm never gonna be a superhero. If the closest I can get to it is takin' care of the people who are, I'm happy. I'm beyond happy, I'm dead chuffed."_

_ Giles and Vance exchanged a look. "He's young." Vance sighed._

_ "Not a bad thing." Giles laughed. "Although, I should warn you- hanging out with my family has a strange tendency to make ordinary people into what you might think of as 'superheroes.' Not without a lot of risk though."_

_ "I done my service, Sir. Took my risks in the Gulf, not on the front lines, but you were never short of threats of bombin'." _

_ Giles regarded the two people across from him. "Then you are sworn to secrecy from this point on. Vance, show Joey your case report on William, please." Giles watched her rummage in her bag and quickly hand the papers to the eager young man. "I'm sure you'll want some time to read. Vance? Would you care to come look at the en suite options? I'm feeling rather hungry suddenly."_

_ "I'll leave you to it." Vance patted Joey's shoulder and rose, following Giles into the front room where a stocked bar and selection of snack foods waited. _

_ "He seems very nice." Giles reassured her. _

_ "He is. I'd put my life in his hands a million times over." Vance said fervently. _

_ "I'll bear that in mind." Giles regarded her for a moment. "You look lovely."_

_ "So do you." She reached her hands for his again._

_ "I'm sorry to seem so formal and stuffy. Must come as a shock after two weeks with me in grandfather mode."_

_ "You're quite adorable when you're stuffy." Vance reached out and straightened his tie hesitantly. He caught her fingers. _

_ "I wanted to give you a proper hello." Giles murmured, stepping closer._

_ "Except that we had an audience." Vance giggled softly, silvery laughter tickling Giles' ears. _

_ "He's distracted just now." Giles bent his head slightly, waiting to see if all the happy daydreams he'd had in the last few months were always going to just be daydreams and fantasies._

_ "I've missed you, Giles." Vance looked up at him, her gray eyes turning to a dark slate color in his shadow. _

_ "I've missed you." He returned._

_ "Good." Vance bit her upper lip with her bottom teeth in a timid little gesture which Giles found absolutely adorable- before she leaned in and kissed him._

_ Oh, now that's how kisses should be, Giles thought longingly. He felt her hands brushing against his face and realized she was taking off her glasses, and he smiled against her lips. She was intending to be here for awhile obviously. He carelessly pushed his own glasses atop his head and then wrapped one strong arm around her back. _

_ She hadn't let a man hold her like that in years. Oh, there'd been some casual encounters after holiday parties, but no kissing just to kiss. To enjoy it. To want it. She didn't care at the moment if she looked like a tart. Her body went on autopilot and she leaned back, her curvy leg caressing his in a slow, vertical stroke. _

_ "Vance? Did you examine the father? Or is that in another case study?" Joey's voice suddenly broke the spell._

_ "It's at the back!" Vance called breathlessly, pulling her mouth free from Giles' as if she'd been stung._

_ "I found it!" Joey called in a second._

_ Giles and Vance exchanged a guilty look. "I'm glad it's mutual." He grinned._

_ "Oh, yes. Quite, quite mutual." Vance carefully wiped some of her lipstick from the edges of his mouth._

_ "Are you free for dinner this evening?"_

_ "I'm on call." Vance sighed regretfully. "But if you'd like to take the risk of being stood up or me running halfway through the meal, I'd love to."_

_ "I don't mind in the least." Giles opened the small refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of sparkling water. "To- to getting to know one another." He raised his bottle._

_ "To getting to know one another." Vance clinked hers to his._

_ Giles and Vance spent several hours explaining things to Joey, and to some extent, Vance was learning new information herself. Joey seemed impressed and eager, and not in the least doubtful or scared. That wasn't good. Giles could see how the man might be trusting, he had a close bond with Vance, he naturally accepted her words as truth. That was acceptable. But not to be scared- that was foolish._

_ "It's different in real life." Giles tried to explain the seriousness of the matter. _

_ "I know. Likely need new trousers after I meet up with one of these things." Joey shrugged easily._

_ "They can kill you. It isn't to be taken lightly!" Giles thumped his fist down. _

_ "I've had drugged up kids put a gun to my head for a shot of Demerol." Joey lost his smile. "I guess I'm not too bloody worried about whether the baddies are human or demon in their appearance. You can get killed by either." _

_ Giles noticed that as he spoke, Joey reached out and took Vance's hand in his own, a private look passing between them that he didn't understand. "He's right." Vance murmured hoarsely. "Excuse me for a minute." She smiled briefly and rose form the table. Both men stared after her._

_ Giles refused to ask for an explanation, and Joey refused to volunteer one. Finally, Joey broke the silence. "So Buffy's a Slayer and you're a Watchman."_

_ "Watcher, yes."_

_ "These magical powers run in the family, eh?"_

_ "Well- Buffy and Dawn aren't mine biologically. There isn't anything in particular that passes hereditarily from Watcher to Watcher, although it is traditional for it to travel in families. I'm the third in my family to be a Watcher. And Dawn will be."_

_ "Dawn isn't a slayer, then?"_

_ "No." Giles clamped his lips shut tightly, saying no more. If Dawn wanted to divulge her unique past as a primordial power, she could do it in her own time._

_ "William? What will he be?"_

_ "Hopefully nowhere near as stubborn as his parents." Giles laughed, and Joey joined in. "Honestly, I don't know. Buffy is the first Slayer to have a child while she was endowed with her powers. Spike is the first vampire to have one as well. Well- that's not entirely true, but in the one other instance it wasn't a conception as much as- never mind." Giles gave up trying to explain the past as Joey's eyes threatened to dislodge. "He'll be loved and he'll be happy. He'll always be different. But he's blessed with a family that understands firsthand the pain of being unusual."_

_ "Sounds like a lucky tyke. I was readin' this over an' thinkin'-" Joey tapped the paper beside him, "he's awfully rare. You must have worries about people goin' after him." Joey looked concerned. "What are you lot doin' about that?"_

_ "He's never left without one of us to guard him. Plus the houses are protected and the nurseries in particular."_

_ "Good security systems?"_

_ Giles thought of the unfortunate ant he'd seen try and cross the kitchen windowsill only to get zapped into oblivion by Willow's "no uninvited presence may enter this domicile" spell. "Ah, yes. Not the most traditional, but..."_

_ "You don't have sharks and tigers in moats and pits do you?" Joey asked worriedly._

_ "No. Any uninvited presence that tries to enter the house proper meets a magical barrier." Giles explained about the ant. Joey's eyes widened._

_ "What happens to people?"_

_ "We have a very good burn care unit at the hospital." Was all Giles would say to that._

_ "Bloody hell." Joey muttered._

_ Vance waltzed back into the room, trying to look as though she'd never left. "Well, what'd I miss?"_

_ "Not much." Joey said quickly, then added. "Jus' make sure you're invited in properly before going to check on the baby. Unless you'd like to see how you look without eyebrows."_

_ "What's that?" Vance looked at Giles in puzzlement._

_ "I'll explain later. I should let you both get on with your afternoons." Giles said hastily. _

_ Joey and Vance exchanged a look. "Well, do I pass, Guv?"_

_ "You'll need to do quite a lot more reading and I think some training is in order." Giles said seriously. "But you may consider yourself on your way."_

_ "Brilliant." Joey beamed and hugged Vance with one arm, then shook Giles' hand._

_ "I'll speak to Robson this week. He'll be in charge of taking you to meet some Slayers and Watchers. Possibly some coven members."_

_ "I'm not gonna have to sacrifice a goat or take a blood oath or anything, am I?" Joey demanded._

_ "No. I work the other way around." Giles' eyes got hard, and even though Vance was there and he didn't want her to see this side of him, his family came first. "I take your word. If you break it, _then_ I take your blood."_

_ To his surprise, Joey smiled widely. "That's my kinda system." He nodded appreciatively. "You've got my word, Guv. I swear on my mum's eyes. Hell, I swear on Man U." Joey raised his right hand._

_ "Joseph Brooke, don't you dare..." Vance groaned._

_ Joey was not deterred. "We'll keep our red flag flying high, cause Man United will never die- I will not split on this good man or his people, an' that's no lie."_

_ "Oh dear Lord." Vance looked apologetically at Giles. "He usually only does that when he's drunk."_

_ "No I don't! I do it when I'm serious. Jus' so happens that all our serious natters happen when we're drunk." Joey nudged her arm playfully._

_ "Bloody hell." Giles laughed weakly. "You really do remind her of Spike. I can see it now." Giles shook his head._

_ "Come again?" _

_ "Dawn. Something about you reminded her of Spike."_

_ "That's good, yeah?"_

_ "As Dawn idolizes her 'big bad brother vampire', as she calls him, and she's his best friend, yes." Giles looked at him curiously. "Do you like the Sex Pistols?"_

_ "Er- no." Joey blushed slightly before he remembered that was the name of a band._

_ "Dog racing?"_

_ "Not especially."_

_ "Smoke?"_

_ "Gave it up."_

_ "I can see you don't support Tottenham."_

_ "Sorry, mate, that your club?"_

_ "It is, when I have time to watch." Giles grinned. "Oh well. You and Spike should get along well. That's important."_

_ "Is it?"_

_ "No one could get near- well- anyone in the family without Spike liking them." Giles looked at the young man significantly. "William, or Buffy, or- anyone."_

* * *

><p><em> "Well? <em>Well_?" Dawn's voice demanded over the phone._

_ "He seems very nice. And has some similarities to Spike." Giles collapsed onto the bed, mentally and physically exhausted._

_ "Yeah, I know that part. Is he 'in'?" Dawn cried in exasperation._

_ "He's in as he can be as of now." Giles waited for another snappy come response. None came. "Dawn?"_

_ "I'm here."_

_ "What's wrong?"_

_ "Nothing. Uh- how's Vance?"_

_ "She's well. Lovely."_

_ "Kissage?"_

_ "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."_

_ "So major kissage."_

_ "Dear Lord..."_

_ "Tell her I said hi. And, um, you can tell Joey I said hi, too."_

_ "He practically leaps out of his chair at the mention of you." Giles encouraged. "He asked about you several times."_

_ "He did?" Dawn's voice, which had grown calmer and cooler over the years now reverted to a squeal._

_ "He did. I didn't tell him anything of importance." Giles said significantly. "I figured you'd want to do that yourself, if things ever get to the telling stage."_

_ "I'll tell him soon. I mean, if he's going to be involved in taking care of the team, sorta. I'd rather he know everything - well- everything supernatural, not all the details of my life, but other stuff-right in the beginning. 'Cause I wouldn't like to go along all comfy with someone and then they tell me they're not completely human."_

_ "But you are." He reminded her gently._

_ "But I wasn't always." Dawn countered, equally gently._

_ "You be careful. I don't want you going headlong for this boy. Yet." Giles said with fatherly protectiveness._

_ "You be careful! Vance is all beautiful and sweet- but you still have a lot to learn about each other. It isn't just supernatural stuff in common that makes relationships work."_

_ "And Spike needs to meet this boy." Giles spoke over top of her._

_ "Are you planning on getting 'closer' to her?" Dawn demanded underneath his voice._

_ "Dawn! I'm a grown man!"_

_ "I'm a grown woman!"_

_ "I- I worry about you."_

_ "You think I'm not worried about you?" A loud crying suddenly filled the air. "Oh great. You made me wake William." Dawn said angrily._

_ "_I _made you wake William?" Giles cried. "What are you doing babysitting? I left you a stack of calendars to coordinate."_

_ "I know, believe me I know. Spike and Buffy needed some alone time, so the kiddo and I are coordinating the calendars together. Shh. Shh, Will. Oh. OW! No biting! Here, have a teething ring. Poor baby. Did Vance say anything about the teething?"_

_ "I asked. We- g-got distracted."_

_ "Whoa! Ripper is back, Baby."_

_ "Not like that! There was such a lot to talk about. I'll ask her tonight. We- um- we have dinner plans. If she doesn't get called in to work."_

_ "That's great. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your dinner." She sighed, smiling, bouncing her nephew on her hip. "No broken hearts, promise?"_

_ "I won't if you won't."_

_ "Absolutely not in my plans. Already watched way too many of those happen." _

_ "So have I." _

_ "Well, for God's sake, remember it!"_

_ "I will, I will. Kiss the little ones for me."_

_ "Yep. Love you. Have fun."_

_ "Love you, too. I'll check in tomorrow."_

* * *

><p><em>To: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net<em>

_From: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com_

_Hi Girly,_

_ Got your music video link. If you can call that music, bloody hell. Sounds like someone with a mouthful of marbles moaning into a microphone if you ask me. Met your "Dad" today. Guess you and I might be working together someday, as I passed the entry level inquisition. Any helpful tips for surviving in this brave new world?_

_Joey_

* * *

><p><em>To: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com<em>

_From: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net_

_Tips:_

_Don't call me girly. _

_Learn to like The Clash, Ramones, and Sex Pistols- it's what some of us train to, and there's a loooooot of training in this job._

_Read whatever Giles tells you to._

_Learn to get by on very little sleep._

_Keep in touch._

_Dawn_

* * *

><p><em>To: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net<em>

_From: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com_

_Re: Tips_

_Dawn it is then._

_Never in a million years, training or not._

_Will do._

_Already do._

_I'd love to. You ever gonna call me? _

_Joey_

* * *

><p><em>To: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com<em>

_From: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net_

_If you call me first._

_Dawn_

* * *

><p><em>To: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net<em>

_From: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com_

_Help a bloke out, Luv. Give us your number?_

_Joey_

* * *

><p><em>To: JBmad4manu hotmail. uk. com<em>

_From: Sweet16nleatherboots prhighspeed. net_

_Smartass. Here you go._

_Dawn_

_ Dawn grinned as she typed in her cell phone number and hit send. _Okay, no big deal. It's just a friend thing. A flirty friend thing... maybe. I really need to call Jenna. Or Claire. Or I could bug Spike. No, not Spike. Giles! No, he's having his own issues. I wonder how things are going for the two of them?

* * *

><p><em>"I haven't been here in years." Giles smiled contentedly as he entered the Coach and Six. "I really wish you'd have let me take you someplace nicer, Vance."<em>

_ "But at someplace fancy I'd feel terrible if I had to run off. Well, more terrible. Besides, you had a long flight and you deserve to relax. Let yourself -unwind." Vance gracefully sat in the cracked leather booth and rested her hands on the scarred, worn smooth wooden table._

_ "Luv, if you knew how many times I had to 'run off', be on call..." Giles laughed and sat across from her. "Only usually my entire family has to be on call with me." He sighed. Vance's smile faltered for a second._

_ "That must be hard. But- in a way, it must be good. To have someone to belong with. A family to go with." She studied her nails for a second, then continued, "I know they're not your typical family, but it must be lovely to have them."_

_ "It is, Darling." Giles didn't even feel the endearment rolling off of his tongue, it just came so naturally. "And a far finer family I have, thanks in part to you."_

_ "I do love my job." Vance leaned her chin in her hand, staring at the suddenly boyish face before her. "Every day sending home a happier family, a bigger family. Couples becoming families. Like your Buffy and Spike."_

_ "Vance?" Giles watched her eyes drifting slowly into something faraway._

_ "Hmm? Oh." Vance blinked and then smiled with renewed focus. "They do excellent chips here. Something in the batter."_

_ "As long as it isn't cigarette ash, like it used to be." Giles laughed. They both stared at the slate menu hanging above the bar for a moment, but in reality, he was partially studying her. Something quietly sad rang out in her eyes every now and again. He would love to know what it was, but he wouldn't pry. _It's such early days. But I do find myself wishing I knew more about her, so much more. I'd love to erase every sad thought reflected in those heather gray eyes...

_Dinner was pleasant and uneventful, filled with laughter and conversation that never flagged. Vance's cell phone remained mercifully silent, and so did Giles'. After dinner they sat in the pub for awhile, both reluctant to go, but unsure how to end things. Giles finally cleared his throat with a nervous sound that he cursed himself for, and spoke. _

_ "I'd better see you home, I'm sure you need some rest before your shift."_

_ "_You_ need some rest!" She laughed in her silvery tones, rising. Giles instantly slid her jacket over her shoulders and took her arm. Vance felt her heart flutter in an unfamiliar way. _God, I love this man. No. No, I don't mean that. I mean I love the way he treats me. Makes me feel at ease, like myself, and still makes me feel- oh I don't know, something finer than myself._ "You must have a terribly busy schedule." She said a trifle breathlessly._

_ "I do. I try not to come here more than once every few months, so when I am- it always seems to be a marathon of meetings." He sighed bitterly._

_ "You wouldn't change it. You'd fly here every weekend if you had to, if it meant being with your loved ones and saving the world." Vance said confidently._

_ Giles' smile had a touch of roguishness in it. "You're a very perceptive woman, Dr. Vance."_

_ "You're a very good man, Mr. Giles." She returned, wishing she had something more clever to say. But that was simply how he seemed to her. A sincerely good man. Devoted to good things. Not that he wasn't a bit of a "badass" , as Dawn liked to call him, but that he was a truly honorable man, fighting the good fight and loving his family._

_ "I'm not all that good." Giles replied, wishing that he were. _She doesn't need to know about your sordid youth. Not yet._ "Unlike you. A truly gifted woman." He squeezed her arm._

_ Vance bit her upper lip in that timid gesture that made Giles wish _he_ were the one doing the biting. _He doesn't have to know all about you, not all in one day. Not even all in one week._ "You're too kind." She looked at him, finding him sneaking a glance at her as well. They both laughed._

_ "Ahh. It's been too long." Giles sighed. _

_ "It has indeed." Vance didn't have to ask for clarification. She knew what he meant. Too long between them, and too long between partners. She knew._

_ "Would you have dinner with me again before I leave?" Giles asked quietly as they walked towards the tube station._

_ "I'd love to."_

_ They rode to the station nearest Vance's flat, and Giles walked her to her door. "Would you like to come in for a coffee? Or something stronger?" Vance asked, even though she was concerned about him getting some rest, even though she was concerned they'd do something hasty. _

_ "Thank you. C-coffee would be lovely." Giles stepped inside. If he had anything stronger he'd make a fool of himself. He slid out of his jacket and watched her glide to the kitchen._ I wonder what kind of panties she wears- and oh dear Lord, did I really just think that?

_"How do you like it?"_

_ "Black." _And lacy. Oh for God's sake, she means the coffee! Get hold of yourself man!

_ "Are you sure you don't need to go straight to bed?" Vance looked at him as he muttered a silent curse at himself._

_ Giles looked up startled, and Vance flushed to the roots of her hair. "I- I mean, you've had such a long day." She stammered, wanting to sink through the floor._

_ "I'm not all that tired. I find you very stimulating company." Giles voice took on that tense, almost passionate edge. His feet were moving without his brain thinking about it, until he was in front of Vance._

_ She dropped the mug she was holding to the worktop with a soft clunk and let her hands slide up his back as soon as he was in range. It's only a kiss. Kissing is acceptable, she found herself thinking as their heads met._

_ Giles tried to think rationally.T_his has to stop at kissing. I didn't bring any sort of protection. Not to mention the fact that it would be completely reckless and I don't want to rush. I want to do everything right. I haven't had a chance in so long, and I don't want to blow this one._ Giles felt the heel of Vance's black pump caressing the back of his calf as they leaned back against the counter. Her tongue did something incredibly erotic on the roof of his mouth, skirting the sensitive spot behind his front teeth. _Oh, what the hell... _Instinct slammed rationality out the window, at least temporarily, and his hands cupped her soft, curvy rear and molded it into his palms._

_ Vance gasped softly and tossed her glasses off with a clatter alongside the forgotten coffee cups. "Giles..." She breathed longingly._

_ "Mm, yes, Luv?" He paused between kisses._

_ "The coffee?" She asked hesitantly, her common sense making one more play before lust took her over completely._

_ "Sod the coffee." Giles replied roughly, his own glasses joining hers. His hands tangled in her thick dark hair and he moaned. "You have the hair of a goddess. Lustrous." He purred- nearly a growl._

_ How can he kiss like a madman and use words like lustrous at the same time?, Vance thought as she moaned softly into his hungry, plundering kisses. "I prefer yours." She finally panted, raking his graying hair with eager, teasing fingers. Her fingers trailed down his neck and across his shoulders, finally ending at his collar. _

_ Giles twitched against her lips. _If she unbuttons the first button, I can go for it. I'm not supposed to go for it. Who the hell is driving this bus? What happened to taking things slowly, being cautious?_ Her knee moved gracefully along the inside of his leg. He was sure it was just a passionate response, not contrived. Still- when her soft knee brushed the slight bulge in his trousers, caution left completely._

_ His hands became more demanding, digging into her back, her hips, her rump as he embraced her, kisses starting to move away from her mouth and include her soft, sweetly scented neck, get under her flowing brown waves. Vance popped open the first two buttons of his shirt with shaking hands._

_ It was the shaking that got his attention. "I'm sorry." He pulled himself up with an effort. "I'm behaving like a cad, rushing-" He shook his head, furious with himself._

_ "Oh." Vance's hands rested on his shoulders as she looked down, angry and embarrassed. "I didn't mean to seem so eager. Tarty." She suddenly wished he would leave so she could go toss herself into the shower and then give herself a long lecture in front of the mirror about acting like a slag and ruining everything by acting like some teenaged idiot._ The first time a man shows you attention and you assume he wants what you want. What is _wrong_ with you, Vance?

_ "You must think I'm some sort of beast." Giles apologized._

_ "I-" Vance blinked in confusion, listening to him properly, "Giles, why would I think that?"_

_ "W-well, w-with the kissing turning rather amorous so quickly..." He stammered._

_ "I was kissing you back, you did notice that?" Vance arched one slender brow._

_ "I did indeed." He licked his lips._

_ "I was carried away." Vance confessed, but her guilt and self-berating attitude was fleeing._

_ "As was I." Giles calmed slightly. "I didn't want to rush things with you." He admitted, forehead lowering to hers once more, hazel eyes and gray dancing together. "You're simply- wonderful, Vance. I forget myself. O-or perhaps I find myself." He laughed softly._

_ "Are you implying that there may be something to rush?" Vance asked, heart thudding._

_ "If it's mutually desirable?" Giles grinned._

_ "Very." Vance kissed him softly._

_ "Maybe we could- continue this conversation later this week?" Giles wasn't entirely sure what a continuation would mean, more kisses and petting, or would there be a bed involved? He didn't much care. He just wanted to enjoy her some more. No, if he were totally honest with himself, he was falling for her, falling hard, soundlessly, seamlessly, falling for her._

_ "Oh, I don't know." Vance slid her hand gently across his chest. "I feel a little more conversation coming on now."_

_ Giles chuckled and kissed her deeply. She took his hand as they embraced and led him away from the kitchen, and took him to the sofa in her living room. Her feet had faltered indecisively for a moment, her nether regions urging her to head down the small hallway to the bedroom, while her head warred that the sofa would let things progress- but not too much. _

_ "You know- I don't usually- throw myself at men." Vance explained between intensifying kisses._

_ "Nor do I. Women!" Giles clarified, face buried in her neck. "I admired so much about you. Not just the package you come in." He assured._

_ Vance's head tipped back. "Of course. Conversation. Mutual interest."_

_ "The family loves you. I trust you. I- care about you." Giles tore himself away enough to look into her eyes. "Do you know how rare that is for me? To care about someone else, enough to risk- letting them in?" _

_ "Most likely as rare as it is for me." Vance stared back unflinchingly._

_ "Did that seem pompous? I didn't mean it to." His hands gentled, caressing her cheek. _

_ "It didn't seem that way, no. Just very serious." Vance's eyes melted, her fingers stroking lightly around his slightly stubbled jaw. "You've had a long, rough road, haven't you, Luv?"_

_ "You've no idea. And I've no idea about your road, Vance. But I know everyone's road is long. A woman doesn't become as captivating as you without some challenges." Giles pressed his lips softly to hers. _

_ "You're insightful, Mr. Giles." Vance whispered._

_ "Occasionally, Dr. Vance." He smirked. "I'd love to get to know all about you. More than I do already."_

_ "I'd like that." Vance arched her back slightly as Giles' wandering hand accidentally brushed a nipple through her silky blouse. They both froze, although Giles moved his hand quickly to her upper arm. With a shuddering breath, Vance finally murmured, "I'd like _that,_ too. But slowly."_

_ "I'm an exceedingly patient man." Giles reassured. "You've met my family. I'd have to be." Both of them laughed, as Vance leaned back into the sofa and gave him a welcoming smile._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn looked at her cell phone with furious eyes. "Ring. Right now." In her arms, Tanya squirmed and looked at her reproachfully. "Sorry, Pinky Pie." Dawn sighed. "I just really, <em>really_ want that phone to ring. I've been waiting since yesterday, and that guy better have a really, _really _good reason for not calling. Ring!" _

_ As if on command, the phone went off with a loud jingly noise. Dawn grinned like a maniac and picked it up. "Hello? Hello?" There was no one on the other end. "Weird." Dawn looked at the phone. It wasn't lit up, there hadn't been an incoming call. "Major weird."_

_ "Dawn?" Buffy's voice drifted up the stairs. "Xander called. He's running late at Will's doctor appointment. Willow's going to have to some scar tissue removed and they're setting up the follow up and doing some preliminary paperwork." The wince was audible in her voice. _

_ "Ohh, God. Poor Will." Dawn called back. Tanya struggled fretfully on her hip and Dawn looked down at her. "That's your mommy. Not William." Tanya regarded her with somber eyes. "But Mommy's going to be fine, and so is your little buddy. Tanya's chin began to squinch up in her pre-crying phase. "Buffy! Where's Spike and the baby?"_

_ "Here, Bit." Spike called from William's room. Dawn poked her head out of her room and held Tanya out. "Hey there, Tiny Girl." Spike cooed at his niece. "What's wrong, Niblet?"_

_ "The usual. William craving."_

_ "Bring her in. He's about to drift off, but you can tuck 'em in together." Spike opened the door wider and Dawn brought the younger infant to the nursery. _

_ "Push their cribs next to each other." Dawn insisted._

_ "But I've got the room all arranged."_

_ "Do it." Dawn glared. _

_ "Oh bloody hell, just put them in together." Spike took his niece and kissed her silky brown curls and nuzzled her nose. "You're good enough to eat, you are." Tanya kicked her tiny feet and giggled. From his crib, William gurgled and sat up, using his unusually strong back muscles to pull himself up. "Ooh, someone's jealous. Here's your playmate, Will." Spike put the infants together and straightened back up, watching them cuddle instantly together. "Aren't they a pair? Look at 'em." Spike said fondly._

_ "Adorable." Dawn sighed._

_ "What's eatin' you? You'd usually have the camera out by now." Spike looked at his little sister._

_ "I gave Joey my number yesterday. He didn't call me yet."_

_ "Well, he is a doctor an' he delivers babies for a livin'. Maybe the sprogs are poppin' out one after the other an' he's workin' overtime?"_

_ "I know! But it's weird for me." Dawn leaned into his shoulder. "I never gave a guy my number before. I'm not good at this, this waiting, not knowing if this is a friend thing or a flirty thing, or a more than that thing. Arrgh! Spike! I just want the phone to ring so I know what the hell it is!" _

_ Two things happened at once. Dawn's phone made that peculiar jangling ring again and Tanya let out a sharp whiny cry._

_ "Tanya!" Spike leaned over and grabbed the child up to his chest as Dawn looked at her phone with wary eyes. "What is it, Little Lady? What hurt Uncle Spike's girl?" He looked suspiciously at William. _

_ "Guys? Are you okay?" Buffy's rapid footsteps tapped up the stairs. "Was that Tanya?"_

_ "No one's on the phone." Dawn said in an oddly worried voice._

_ "Wrong number." Spike held Tanya out to Buffy as she came in. "Here, she just started making that noise. Poor little mite, sounds like she's hurt! I thought maybe William grabbed her or some such, but he hasn't. God, Cyclops is gonna kill me if his little princess gets a single scratch on her."_

_ "She's not scratched up. Not a mark on her, she doesn't feel hot, and she's too little to teethe." Buffy examined her with a maternal eye. _

_ "Guys. No one's on the phone." Dawn said slowly, but more insistently._

_ "Bit, I'm sorry about the bloke, but,-" Spike was cut off by Dawn's fist landing on his arm. "Ow, Niblet!"_

_ "Just watch this. I wish the phone would ring." Dawn said, directly to Tanya. The phone made a noise again, and so did Tanya, louder this time, and in addition, hearing Tanya cry made William let out a miniature growl._

_ All eyes were now riveted between the phone and the baby girl. "She understood that?" Buffy gasped._

_ "She made the soddin' phone ring, an' you're worried about whether or not she understood the bloody words?" Spike reached out and grabbed William, shoving him into Buffy's arms to quiet Tanya. "Looks like mini wicca isn't just a nickname."_

_ "I'm calling Giles." Dawn whispered, eyes wide._

_ "Shouldn't we call her parents first?" Buffy asked nervously._

_ "No one call anyone." Spike soothed. "The time difference, for one thing. An' for the other, Red and Xander do not need to hear this over the phone. We'll tell them when they come to pick her up."_

_ "God, Wills is gonna freak. Xander's going to die." Buffy groaned._

_ "No, they won't. She's special. We're all special 'round here." Spike rubbed his wife's back and lightly touched William's head. "I hope your friend can keep up with us, Niblet." His knowing blue eyes met Dawn's._

_ Dawn tucked her phone back into her pocket, feeling enormously guilty, as if she'd hurt the baby herself. "Yeah. I hope so. But if not- well-" Dawn plucked Tanya from Buffy's arms and kissed her forehead, cuddling her close, "too bad for him. 'Cause I wouldn't trade this for any guy."_

* * *

><p><em> "Hold all my calls." Joey mumbled sleepily to the NICU nurse. <em>

_ "You're on your own, Brooke." The nurse laughed. "Besides, who calls you?" _

_ "Calls. _Calls._ Bloody buggerin'..." Joey ran towards the closet sized office that now bore both his and Vance's names, now that he was officially a resident "God almighty, never got to call her, she's gonna think I play games. That's all I need, brass off someone with her own personal attack vampire for a brother and demon killer for a sister. God almighty..." Joey skidded into the cramped seat at his desk, ignoring the stacks of papers in his "in" tray and frantically fished out his cell phone where he'd already put Dawn's number. Without thought for the time difference- it was just coming on morning, he dialed._

_ Dawn sat up groggily and looked at her phone. One in the morning. An English international code on the phone's illuminated screen._Uh-oh_. "Hello?" She demanded, instantly wide awake. _

_ "Uh. Hi." Joey's mouth dried out at the sound of her voice. _Oh grand job, mate, just grand. Get her on the line an' lose your voice.

_ "Joey?"_

_ "That's me." He laughed nervously. _

_ "It's one in the morning here! Are you guys okay? Giles- what happened?"_

_ "Everyone's fine, Luv, it's only just- well- you gave me your number and I didn't call back right away 'cause I worked a double. More like a triple 'bout now, unless I go home an' get some kip. But I didn't want you to think I was playin' fast and loose with you. Jus' wanted to give you a quick call."_

_ Dawn's annoyance melted magically. "That was really sweet. And I'd usually be up, but it's my night to stay in instead of patrol."_

_ "You patrol, too? Wow." Joey sounded deeply impressed._

_ "Well, I'm not all super like Buffy and Spike, but I help." Dawn said modestly. "So- you worked an almost triple? Delivering babies?"_

_ "Uh- yeah, two babies. An' someone with retained afterbirth who did an at home birth, an' a baby with colic that the mother thought sure was appendicitis, an' a routine round. I'm knackered." He sighed exhaustedly. _

_ "And you still called." Dawn's voice was the softest and sweetest that Joey had ever heard it, all the hard, matter of fact edges gone._

_ "Couldn't let you think that I wasn't interested." He felt himself waking up at the warmth of her tone. "An' email didn't seem like quite the ticket."_

_ "You're smart." Dawn laughed quietly. " 'Cause it wouldn't have been. But- um- I should let you get some rest, right? You need sleep?"_

_ "Ah, I can go for a little bit longer. Got endurance, me." He bragged. _Shit. Did that sound sexual? Cor, I'd love it if it were sexual. Vampire might not like that though.

_Dawn blushed. _Was that supposed to sound sexy, or is that just because I'm turning into a repressed, horny virgin who needs to get laid? No. No, I don't believe in "getting laid". I'm waiting. Maybe not for my wedding night, but until I meet Mr. Long Haul. _"Okay. So- how's the training going? How's the great romance?"_

_ "You mean your dad an' Vance?"_

_ "Any sparkage?"_

_ "Sparkage? What in the hell kind of language do you speak, woman?"_

_ "Oh, I'm up to 'woman' now, Huh? Not 'Girly'?" Dawn challenged, bridling._

_ "I apologized for that."_

_ "You'd better have." Dawn muttered darkly. "But back to my point- are Giles and Vance hitting it off? Heading for a big romance?"_

_ "They seem absolutely capped with each other, that's for sure." Joey yawned. "Had dinner last night. Told the hospital to put me on call instead of her. So they wouldn't get disturbed."_

_ "You did?" Dawn felt a surge of gratitude. "That's so sweet. Thanks. I- I'll owe you one, okay?"_

_ "Hm. I think I'd like to be owed a favor by the legendary Dawn Summers." Joey smiled lazily, leaning back in his chair._

_ "I'm not legendary. That's Buffy." Dawn said quickly, silently pleased with herself that she no longer cared if she wasn't "super" like her sister. She, Dawn Summers, was pretty damn awesome, and held her own, thank you very much._

_ "Oh, I dunno. I hear all kinds of amazing things about you." Joey's voice was soft and dreamy. "Seem quite legendary to me."_

_ "Well, I'm not. Anymore, anyway." Dawn said quickly, firmly. "Unless you count being the youngest Watcher-to-Be, ever, in the history of Watchers, and being part of this family. Then yeah. Maybe a little."_

_ "Damned impressive." Joey said firmly. _

_ "Thanks. Again. Now- how's training going?"_

_ "Ugh. Thought we skipped that." _

_ "You should know that I don't miss a trick, I don't overlook anything. I'm very thorough." Dawn stated with simple confidence._

_ "With trainin'- or is that with everything?" This time Joey's voice had a decidedly flirtatious timbre. _

_ Dawn felt herself flushing again. Was she thorough with everything? She didn't know, she'd never gone past kissing and a little mild groping. Living with the world's most sexually voracious couple had given her a definite appreciation and appetite for what she'd like to do one day, not that she had too many details. _

_ "Sorry, if I was outta line..." Joey trailed off as Dawn's silence dragged on._

_ "No. Nope." Dawn shook herself back to the conversation. "I'm very thorough. In everything." She decided to sound a little overconfident. If she was wrong, well, she could learn. And holy jumping the gun, she was mentally considering how thorough she'd be in bed, and she didn't have any real plans with a guy. No commitment, no love, just this nice, friendly flirting that might lead to something else. Maybe. Someday._

_ "Still- I _am_ sorry. When I talk to you, it's easy to jus' talk." Joey ran his hand through his hair and again thought about how long it had gotten and how badly he needed to take one of his days off and get it cut. "Think I said that to you before. The first time I talked to you."_

_ "You did." Dawn smiled and lay back on her pillows. "No one's ever said that before."_

_ "Prolly 'cause they don't need to. Your family and your mates just have the privilege of speakin' and you listen, right?" _

_ "I guess so." Dawn glowed. It's a privilege to talk to me? How whacked is that? "In that case, you'd better plan to talk to me alot."_

_ "Oh, trust me. It's a plan." Joey leaned into his palm and narrowly avoided spilling his day old tea on his clipboard full of charts. "Like to try my hand at listenin', as well. Tell me about yourself."_

_ "First, training."_

_ "You are thorough indeed. Fine, trainin' hasn't really begun, but when it does, I'll send you daily notes on m' progress, alright? Now. You. Tell me about yourself." Joey insisted._

_ With a smile, Dawn did._

* * *

><p><em> Giles plastered a smile onto his face, though he didn't much feel like it. He felt bloody annoyed, actually. He was supposed to have a nice dinner with Vance, and perhaps more. In addition, it was his last night in the city. Instead, he was going to have to ask her to head over to the states as soon as possible and have a look at Tanya, who apparently, according to Xander and Willow's phone call (a conversation that was an odd mixture of urgency, fear, belligerence, and pride) was displaying magical abilities even though she wasn't even able to talk yet. <em>

_ It wasn't that he minded inviting Vance to come to the states, far from it, but tonight was supposed to be about pleasure, not business. And if Vance was like him, which she seemed to be, this new development would fascinate her and the entire night would focus around his granddaughter. That was another thing. He was trying to feel virile and manly, worthy of pursuing a woman ten years his junior, who looked about _fifteen_ years younger- and he had to discuss his _grandchildren_, an image guaranteed to make a woman think of an elderly man with false teeth and carpet slippers. _You're being ridiculous, and you know it, old man. Vance loves those children and is fully aware of how much you love them.

_Vance opened the door to Giles' ring, stumbling out in one of the few "posh frocks" she owned, short and black with a flowing drape neckline that hinted at her bust without showcasing it. "Am I late? I caught these damn heels in the carpet." Vance breathlessly explained. _

_ "You're prefect. Perfection." Giles smiled broadly, watching her adjust herself, self- consciously patting her hair. Her actions reminded him strongly of his own before he'd left his hotel. A very sensual, provocative woman, who, for some reason or other, had thrown herself into her work and hadn't come out of it in a very long time, Giles thought. He knew how that was, all too well. How easy it was to shut that part of yourself off, ignore it, pretend you didn't give a damn anymore. And then somehow, someone makes you care again._

_ "Flatterer." Vance took his arm. "What plans have you made for us, mysterious Mr. Giles?"_

_ "Nothing too mysterious." He laughed. "Dinner at a nice little French place in Soho." Giles adjusted his tie with a tentative hand. Vance's pale rose smile erased all his temerity. It was a warm, genuinely pleased look, in his hopeful moments, he might call it affectionate. _

_ "That sounds lovely."_

_ "I do have a matter of business to discuss with you, before I leave."_

_ "About Joey?"_

_ "No, I'm sure he's in good hands with Robson in London. Daphne and Charlotte will keep an eye on him when he goes to Devon. It's Tanya. She- erm- seems to have inherited her mother's powers. Only exponentially greater. She's not even talking and just started to crawl- but she's manipulating sounds, objects, everything."_

_ Vance gaped. "The baby is a witch?"_

_ "She's magically inclined." Giles replied stiffly. "I'm not entirely sure what she is."_

_ "She's performing spells?"_

_ "No. Simply- I don't know. We'd like you to come and take a look."_

_ "But she's all human. Isn't she?"_

_ "She's a human, but she's a special human, and I know you've studied property transference. William needs a check up anyway."_

_ "I'd love to come. I- I just don't know if I can help you the way that I should." Vance said regretfully._

_ "You'll help as only you can. That's the best help I can ask for." Giles said with a set jaw. Vance set her own, much more slender, petite jaw. _

_ "Then I'll need some information, and I'll need to speak to her parents, mainly to Willow, and I'll need to consult with the coven members you mentioned. I'll need at least a week, if they don't think it's life threatening."_

_ "I don't think it's life threatening, no. In fact- according to Dawn's frantic, typo-laden email, it seems Tanya's only done it this one time. On request."_

_ "On request?" Vance quirked her eyebrow._

_ "Dawn kept bemoaning the fact that her phone wouldn't ring. So Tanya _made _it ring."_

_ "Amazing."_

_ "She is, isn't she?" Giles couldn't help but lapse into proud grandfather mode._

_ "She takes after her grandfather." Vance laughed softly. "Tanya made someone call?"_

_ "No, just caused the phone to make a ringing noise. But still, I consider it very advanced for someone who's still breastfeeding." Giles hailed a taxi and then helped Vance into it, sliding in after her._

_ "I agree." Vance laughed, leaning her head on his jacketed shoulder._

_ For the duration of the ride to Soho the conversation had to remain "public friendly", so Giles and Vance spoke about the city, and the upcoming trip to the states, in general terms. "We'll have to try to arrange some sightseeing this trip." Giles offered._

_ "I don't think I can stay for long, Luv. I haven't had a vacation in years, and then I just took two weeks a few months ago." Vance said apologetically._

_ "No, and I doubt I can come over for fun, not with these developments. My trips will have to be spent with Joey as well, now." Giles replied regretfully. "In addition to all the others. And I need to get down to Devon. Bloody hell." He looked over at his brunette beauty and inhaled the soft floral scent of her hair. "Do you mind, Darling?"_

_ "No. Not at all." Vance said genuinely. "Let's not waste tonight worrying about it. In a week I'll be with my- favorite family again." She hastily added in "favorite" before family and covered her near Freudian slip._

_ "You'll be most welcome."_

_ "We're here, ladies and gents." The driver smiled over his shoulder. "Have a real nice evenin' you two."_

_ "I'll get this." Vance tapped Giles smartly on the wrist and pushed his wallet back into his suit pocket._

_ "But-"_

_ "Hush. _Rupert_." She glared playfully._

_ In some unplanned burst of whimsy, Giles reached out and pinched her bum, hard, making her yelp. "Mind your manners, _Philomena_." He hissed._

_ Vance quickly paid the driver and turned back to her escort. "You are a very incorrigible man at times." She looked over the rims of her glasses._

_ "Don't do that." Giles said, casting furtive looks around the crowded street, trying not to look with open lust at her._

_ "Do what?" She raised her eyebrows inquisitively._

_ "Look at me like that. Those eyes over the edge of your frames... Like the sexiest, smartest woman on earth. Which- I think you are, I have to admit." Giles' voice came to an abrupt halt, realizing what he'd just admitted. "Oh."_

_ "Dawn did tell me that you thought that. I thought it was daughterly artfulness."_

_ "At the time, it may have been, but it's true now."_

_ "You don't have to say those things." Vance shushed him, hand on his arm._

_ "What if I meant it?" He insisted._

_ "Then- then I would say you're very foolish. But I would be very happy." _

_ "I understand I'm a grandfather, and you're in your prime, and we're just getting to know one anoth-"_

_ Her kiss silenced him, and earned a few catcalls and whistles from passing townies. "Giles? Do shut up." _

_ With a pleased shiver, Giles did._


	14. Chapter 14

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's. This is Giles-centric. More happens in the next chapter as well. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, RKM, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XIV

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXIX of _Behind the Scenes_)

**Home and Away**

_"You lost the toss, I see." Giles slid his suitcases in the back of Dawn's compact car._

_ "You mean I won." Dawn gave her father figure a one armed hug as he joined her in the front seat. With a mutual laugh filling the car, Dawn pulled out of the bustling airport pick up area and headed back towards home. "I missed you. Besides, this my time to grill you."_

_ "Oh? What could you possibly want to grill me about?" Giles smirked._

_ "I don't know... am I going to be in a wedding anytime soon?"_

_ Giles glared at her. "No. Absolutely not." He growled._

_ Dawn looked at him sorrowfully. "Oh, God. Giles, I'm so sorry. I thought- I thought things were going so well."_

_ "They are. Swimmingly." Giles said defensively._

_ "But you just-"_

_ "Marriage is out of the question, I'm sure." Giles said quickly. _

_ "Giles, you aren't being stupid are you? This isn't going to end up one of your continent-hopping booty calls, is it?"_

_ "Dawn Summers!"_

_ "You can't treat Vance like Olivia. I mean it, Giles, you're both too good for that." Dawn hissed angrily._

_ "Now hold on- firstly, I've never had a - a 'booty call'! Secondly- I agree, Vance is too good for a causal fling. And lastly- I wish you'd stop mentioning Olivia, she was an old friend and the only 'friend' I ever -erm engaged in- had a- erm... Well, you get the idea. Those remarks were unwarranted."_

_ "Okay, I was out of line." Dawn agreed. A frown crossed her face and stayed there. _

_ "What is it?" Giles sighed._

_ "Nothing. I just kinda hoped this was your big chance."_

_ "It may well be."_

_ "But you just said marriage was out of the question! Is it too soon to talk about, or did you mean out of the question like 'no way in hell'?"_

_ "It's too soon. I like Vance. I more than like her. I care about her. I love spending time with her..." Giles' voice took on a dreamy quality Dawn had never heard. "She's all you could ask for, really. Lovely personality, brilliant, sweet, funny. Legs men only dream about..."_

_ "Back on track, G-Man." Dawn snapped her fingers in front of his suddenly wolfish eyes._

_ "All that in a woman, and what have I to offer her in return? Certain danger, long hours, strange smelling spell herbs, a house full of antique weaponry and dusty books, reams of paperwork, and nightly shifts either patrolling for something that kills humans, researching something that kills humans, or babysitting so others can go out and hunt what kills humans. Not to mention, I apparently mutter in my sleep, and my cranium has more dents than a rally car."_

_ "Hey, Giles, your ego called. It's at the bottom of the Stupidity Ocean and wants a lift." Dawn shook her head with a snort._

_ "The Stupidity Ocean?" Giles arched a brow._

_ "I can't think of clever names for stuff when one of the three best men in the world is acting like a colossal brain booger. You don't have to marry anyone, lots of people never do the ring thing. I was way, way out of line for mentioning it. But don't you dare pull that self- deprecating crap in front of Vance. She thinks you're the most sexy, brilliant, brave, good hearted man in the world. Which you are- at least one of the top three."_

_ Giles reached over and patted the hand on the steering wheel, no words seeming eloquent enough to thank her for her praise. _

_ "You're welcome." Dawn smiled after a moment. _

_ "We had a wonderful time. We went out to dinner twice." Giles blushed and avoided looking at his "youngest" when he said this._

_ Dawn squealed and bounced in her seat. "Where'd you go? Was it nice? Was there kissage? Was there _more _than kissage?"_

_ Giles laughed and settled tiredly back in his seat. "The one night we went to this pub called the Coach and Six. I hadn't been there in fifteen years..."_

_ With an ever widening grin on her face, Dawn listened to Giles talk. And talk. The most she'd ever heard him say in all the years she'd known him. Laughing, blushing, not a single stammer, ( but then again, he didn't stammer with them, or with anyone really, not anymore) all the time speaking with this relaxed expression that didn't come from a battle done or sheer exhaustion. Usually he came back from trips tired, mild to mediumly cranky, and started talking about whatever crises he needed to deal with before the car was on the highway. _

Ha. He can say whatever he wants about his future plans. He's totally in love, and he's waited too damn long for that to happen. Vance is the one. And I'm not letting her get away. _Dawn caught sight of her face in the rearview mirror. Cunning and smiling broadly. Giles hadn't noticed. She rearranged her burgeoning smirk into something less Cheshire Cat-ish and listened contentedly as Giles talked all the way home._

* * *

><p><em> "You're beaming." Vance met Joey coming up to their office. "You look like you've just won a million on the pools."<em>

_ "Right pleased with myself." Joey spoke in a low whisper. "Dawn's been helpin' me study over email and chat. Got nine out of ten right."_

_ "Joey, there isn't a formal entrance exam, you know." Vance laughed. "Giles already said you're in. The training is just so you know what you're doing, what kinds of injuries might get inflicted and what caused them."_

_ "But- well, I'm just- pleased with m'self." Joey mumbled over a blush and a swallow of coffee. He didn't want to tell Vance that one reason he was so happy was that it impressed Dawn. Since Dawn seemed impressed with just about bugger all, he felt quite accomplished. _

_ Vance kicked herself. It was so nice to see Joey's boyish grin bursting from under his haggard expression and roughly brushed hair. Between rugby and shifts, he was studying his head off, and like everything he tried to do, he was making it work. Of course he was pleased. And if Dawn was appreciative of his efforts- well, she knew how good it felt to surprise someone. Giles always seemed so pleased when she knew what he was referencing. "I'm proud of you, Joey. Maybe Giles ought to ask _you _to fly out this weekend." Vance unlocked their office door and dropped her assorted bags down on her rolling chair. "I haven't had much time to research at all."_

_ "Yeah, but you've got the experience, Vee. I'm a rank amateur."_

_ "You've got field training and you're smart. And a quick study. Fastest c-section in London, that's you."_

_ "Stop, I'm blushin'." Joey laughed and finished his coffee, wincing at the bitterness and wincing again when he was confronted with an overflowing mail pile of National Health forms and what looked like private insurance pre-authorization forms._

_ "No- but I bet you were when Dawn told you how you did." Vance ruffled Joey's hair as she passed him. _

_ "Leave off! I've got to get this cut."_

_ "Yes, you do. You'll give the staff a bad name, looking like a sheepdog."_

_ "I don't have time! I'm about tempted to ask my mum to do it when I visit this weekend." Joey flattened his curls down. "Speaking of visiting over the weekend..." He eyed Vance, who seemed to walk with an extra bounce in her step lately. "You and the good Watcher finding time for a bit of romance?"_

_ "We'll go out to dinner, I expect. Maybe all of us will." Vance positively glowed. _I get to see all of them. Sweet Willow and funny Xander, charming, snarking Spike and dear Buffy. Oh, and see Tanya in person! I hope she doesn't levitate me or something...

_ Joey noticed the beam she had when she thought of seeing the whole family. _Woman was made to love, an' she ends up alone. Where the hell is the justice? Oh well, maybe things are just taking a long time to brew. Maybe Vee's about to get her shot. _"Where're you staying?" He asked, rifling through his in tray._

_ "Oh, Giles will put me up in the guest room like he did last time." Vance said hastily, also suddenly very interested in her charts._

_ "Guest room, hmm? Bein' very proper, are we?"_

_ "Joseph..." Vance sighed. "Things are- things are not like that for old fogeys like us, alright? Can you understand that?" Vance tried not to think about the last night they'd spent together. Nothing too serious, but he had been there for most of the night. Kissing and talking and drinking wine on the couch, old repeats on the telly, phone mercifully silent. They hadn't been too concerned about being "proper" then. They had just needed to take it slow, they both agreed to it. But when he was gone- all the doubts came back._

_ "Vee, what the hell are you waitin' for? The man is crazy about you. Not sayin' I encourage you jumpin' into bed with him or anything like that, but don't put the brakes on. Not this time."_

_ "Joey, think about it. That is a powerful man. An extremely handsome, intelligent, wonderful, powerful man. Supernaturally powerful. And he already has a family to love and look after. I don't think he's being insincere when he says there's something special between us, but- well- when I think about it-"_

_ "Then you better stop thinkin' about it. When he's around, you glow. When you talk to him, you glow. Hell, Vee, even an email from him makes you hum that goddamn aria from Tosca for a good two hours. When you two are together, it all fits, and even someone so young an' stupid as myself can see it."_

_ Vance paused. "You can see it?"_

_ "Yes." He answered firmly._

_ "See what, exactly?" _

_ He paused for a moment. What did he see exactly? The years left her face, her step had a swing in it, her gray eyes were the dark slate of excitement, not the opal gray of constant, private thoughts and secrets he now knew she'd carried. He didn't know Giles well at all, had seen him three times for extended periods over the week of his trip to London. But when those two were together, they relaxed. Two very reserved people finally dropped their walls a little bit. "I dunno what I see, Vance. But I see it in both of you. It's like you've both been waitin' to wake up, and when you see each other- you do."_

_ "Waiting to wake up." Vance mused. "Interesting way to put it. You're a smart man, Joseph." She smiled softly._

_ "Tell Dawn that for me? Talk me up a bit?"_

_ "Oh, I will. I'll bet she'll be just as curious about you." _

_ Vance left the office, and Joey's vapid smile returned. "I hope so..."_

* * *

><p><em> The week passed busily. Giles divided his time between Alliance work and being an anxious grandfather, and being gently teased about his love life. <em>

_ "Where's she staying this time?" Xander held his daughter while Giles held William. Buffy and Willow were shopping, and Spike and Dawn were on the phone with Faith. _

_ "The guest room. Same as last time."_

_ " 'Cause we could put her up, if you want." Xander offered, single eye sliding towards his friend._

_ "I think we can manage without a chaperone." Giles said drily._

_ "Oooh, does that indicate there might be chaperone worthy thoughts in your head?"_

_ "Not in front of Tanya. Heaven only knows how much she can understand." Giles stepped away nervously. _

_ "She's got Will's brainpower." Xander beamed proudly. At the name Will, both Tanya and William made a fretful noise. "Mommy. Willow, not William." Both children relaxed. "Holy cow. G-Man- William's no slouch either." Xander gaped at his nephew._

_ "Well, he knows his name. And Buffy is very bright. Spike too, but don't tell him I told you."_

_ "It's been three years, Giles. I think he knows you don't hate him anymore."_

_ "But he doesn't have to know how much I -" Giles' lips clamped shut. "Never mind. We have exceptionally bright children in the family." He let out a happy sigh, looking into William's bright hazel green eyes. "Vance'll be so happy to see them."_

* * *

><p><em> "I cannot wait to see them!" Vance clinked her pint to Joey's. "I'll take lots of pictures. I'll make sure I get lots of pictures of- everyone." She winked. <em>

_ "No private jet this time?" Joey blushed faintly at the thought of having some pictures of Dawn to keep for himself. It was those big eyes and that broad smile, coupled with the sassy attitude when they talked. The combination shouted she was no ordinary girl, she was pure fire. Sweet fire._

_ "No, British Airways." Vance ignored the vacant expression on her friend's face. "You really don't have to drive me, you know. With traffic- I don't want you to be late for your match."_

_ "Well I don't want you to be late if there's another cut on the underground. No private jet, no waiting. I'm surprised you even had time to come for a pint, Vee, thought you'd have to pack. You've hardly left the hellhole this week."_

_ "I'm all packed. Almost." Vance drained her glass and sighed. She had no idea what to pack for sleepwear. Last time she'd slept in her "company pajamas", serviceable, warm, blue top and bottom, as unsexy and practical as a toothbrush. If she went with her wildest fantasies, she should bring something lacy and slinky and for that matter, a discreetly tucked away packet of condoms. Where was the happy medium? What sent the signals of romance, okay with pushing forward, and okay with remaining at the current level of affectionate, sometimes heated, friendship?_

_ "Vee? Vee!" Joey was grabbing her elbow. "You only had a pint, but you look soused. I'm runnin' you home."_

_ "I don't know what to sleep in!" Vance blurted in a hoarse whisper._

_ Joey flushed. "Well, I don't bloody know, either!" He hissed._

_ "You've seen me in pajamas." She sounded miserable._

_ "Yeah." He answered warily. He'd crashed on her sofa a few times in the past years. She wore sweats and a faded tee shirt each time. He'd never seen her in anything he'd class as "pajamas". _

_ "I'm too old to start this over again." Vance suddenly said bitterly. "I shouldn't even have these stupid thoughts, worrying about what to wear. I'll pack my blue pair and be done with it."_

_ "Now hang on." Joey soothed, following her from the pub. "Hang on. What thoughts? What's wrong with the blue pair?" He hoped he was asking the right questions. _

_ "I want him to think of me as desirable. I know he does. I want him to think of me as worth having- not as something tarty. I don't think I have any nightwear that provokes that complicated little image."_

_ Joey winced. "We're going shopping, I guess. Marks and Spencer's in the next street. C'mon."_

_ Vance almost fell off her casual pumps. "You? Shop? For nightwear with me?"_

_ "You'll be coverin' my losses until Boxing Day for this." Joey grimaced and rerouted them toward the department store._

_ "You don't have to... people might think that we... I can't have you following mw through ladies intimates!" Vance tried to protest, constantly jostled by passersby and losing her train of thought, beginning a new worry each time._

_ "Vance-not to pull our work into this, but I see women in less than nightgowns every day. Admittedly, I'm concerned about the baby inside the mum, but I don't think I'll die if you want to buy some stockings and see through knickers."_

_ "Joseph Brooke!" Vance blushed and smacked his arm. "Help me find something reasonably attractive. I'm not a streetwalker."_

_ "No, but I think all you'd have to do is wink and the old boy would come runnin'. Don't think he cares about your clothes. Ooh- you could just skip wearin' the cl-" Joey's voice died off when Vance fixed him with a murderous glare over the rims of her lenses. "How about somethin' with a matchin' silk dressin' gown? That sounds posh yet attractive." He swallowed._

_ "That's better." Vance took his arm in hers. "And while I'm in there, you run across the street." Vance gestured to a lit salon. "Get your hair cut. We'll reconvene in the coffee shop on the ground floor. If I couldn't find anything suitable, you'll have to go back in with me." She grinned._

_ "You're a saint." Joey smiled and kissed her cheek, running one hand over the ragged ends of his hair._

_ "I know. But I don't want to be too saintly this weekend." She sighed, and headed inside the store._

* * *

><p><em> "I'm not a saint, after all. And it'd be better to be <em>overprepared _than _underprepared_." Giles rounded the "family planning" aisle of the grocery store for the third time without going down it. He had all the things he thought would spoil his dear Vance without pushing. Wine, not champagne, cheeses, chocolates, and fruits, but nothing extravagant, and as always, food to feed an army, not just a twosome. He had thought of buying a single rose to lay on her pillow, and thought that seemed very suggestive, so he bought a nice floral arrangement for her room instead. Something pretty and cheerful, pinks and yellows, no deep reds and passionate purples. _

It's been too damn long since I've been in this position. Fool that I am. Fool that I am to think like this. _Giles ignored his thoughts and pushed down the aisle he was so ambiguous about and paused in front of a rack of plastic items he hadn't needed in a regrettably long time. _Dammit. Just get a three pack, and when nothing happens, well- you haven't wasted much money. Only a bit of stupid, teenage lust and thinking that maybe you'll need these things.

_Giles yanked a packet into the cart and huffily strode off, mad at himself for getting his hopes up, and yet mad at himself for not being more hopeful. _Vance doesn't deserve to be rushed. It's been years, who's rushing?_ His mind played a tennis match of pros and cons. A sudden uncomfortable thought struck him. Nudity hadn't used to both him, not when he was doing his devilish best to please his lovers. But now- well, Sunnydale was no health spa. He had more scars and gouges, wounds that never healed perfectly, and they covered him, chest, back, legs. Then there was the tattoo. Vance had seen it, but that was before she began really studying in earnest with young Joey. Lovely. _I can just imagine it. "Hello, you radiant creature ten years my junior, would you like a tumble with a graying old tiger covered in scars and a nice little tattoo reminder of willful demon possession?" _Giles winced and walked to the checkout area. Well, only another day until she arrived. In spite of his worry, he suddenly grinned. It wouldn't matter what they did. They'd have a good time. Simply being together made it good._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn watched Giles pick up a pencil, put it down, and pick it up again. For the millionth time in an hour. "Will you stop that!" Dawn finally snapped. "Go- go call Vance. Go dandle your grandkids or annoy Spike, or ask Willow to do something hard with the computer, but stop-playing-with-the-pencil!"<em>

_ "I can't seem to settle." Giles confessed._

_ "Are you drinking coffee or tea?" Dawn sighed, rising from his dining room table._

_ "Tea."_

_ "And you're still hyper. What's wrong?"_

_ "I hope nothing serious is wrong with Tanya. I hope- I hope she can't hurt herself with those powers. And I hope William checks out alright. Lord, I wish we could just take them both to a pediatrician here in town." Giles raked his hands through his short peppery hair._

_ "Willow's stronger than Tanya. She'll protect her if she has to. And William's super strong and alert and still really, really pale, but other than that..." Dawn rummaged in the kitchen and emerged with the tea tray. "I'm scared, too. But Vance will be here tomorrow and-"_

_ Giles twitched violently at the mention of her name and the pencil he had picked up again snapped._

_ "Okay. You're way overthinking this Vance thing." Dawn picked both pieces of pencil up and sat across from her father figure. "You two get along great, you both like each other. Just- let what happens happen."_

_ "No, Dearheart. You see, in our lifetimes, what happens doesn't just happen. Everything is fought for. You staying alive- Buffy's sacrifice. All of us being alive- Spike's sacrifice. All of us being alive- Xander stopping Willow when she went into the darkness. Missing eyes, broken hearts, they don't just happen. You fight for them, or fight against them. I'm afraid I'm not up to these..." He trailed off. "I can't even buy her a rose without thinking of Jenny. Red roses for passion. For love." Giles was speaking more to himself now. "I didn't get to her in time."_

_ Dawn watched a decade of pain cross his face and winced inside. "Giles?"_

_ "Hmm?" Giles looked up startled, as if he'd forgotten he had an audience._

_ "You can get to Vance in time. This time. It's different now. You don't have to get there alone anymore. You have a family." _

_ "Thank you, Dear." Giles gave her hand a soft squeeze before downing his tea._

_ "You're always going to have a family, no matter what. Okay? Just remember that. Oh- and just in case you're about to dive into the Stupidity Ocean again, I want you to remember that in this case, having a family makes you uber hot to Vance."_

_ Giles blinked and looked at her sharply. "You think so?"_

_ "God." Dawn shook her head at him. "You're so oblivious sometimes! She would like you anyway, 'cause hey, what classy lady wouldn't? But she's so into you because you love your family and you put them first. It means you're quality. Top shelf. Think about it- she doesn't have anyone- you have everyone but the girl. You get her, she gets you, you'd both have everything you could want. It's a total win-win situation." Dawn leaned back, arms folded at the obviousness of the matter. _

_ Giles mulled for a moment, then gulped the dregs. "You're a very smart girl."_

_ "Duh."_

_ "I do wish you hadn't been raised to speak like that..."_

_ "Too late. Maybe my elegant new stepmommy could help me with that?"_

_ "Dawn Summers!" Giles rose but Dawn had already bolted, giggling, out of the room. "I'll catch you, you know!" He hollered. "It's Buffy's turn to make dinner, and we'll all be there!"_

* * *

><p><em> Dawn tossed, turned and finally snagged the cell phone from her dresser. "Time difference. Time difference... oh who the hell cares." Dawn dialed Joey's cell phone.<em>

_ "Brooke, Flanker! I mean- bloody hell, Dr. Brooke, Obstetrics!" Joey was roused from his sleep and called out his team position then title, and was about to start calling out his RAF serial number before Dawn cut him off._

_ "Joey! Joey, I'm sorry I woke you up. I know it's early- or um- late."_

_ "Dawn? Dawn, what's wrong, sweetie?" Joey finally understood he was on the phone and who with._

_ Dawn paused, lost in the sudden shock of his concerned voice and the pet name. "I- uh. I couldn't sleep. Giles is all worked up."_

_ Joey sat up and rubbed his eyes. "It's okay. I'm givin' Vee a lift to the airport in a couple hours. Might as well be up." He stretched, thickly muscled abdominals rippling, shoulders flexing. "You say your dad's worked up? Is it the kiddies?"_

_ "It's Vance."_

_ Joey came fully awake and his voice hardened. "What about my Vee?"_

_ "He's all confused and-"_

_ "Confused about what? If he's gonna play about with her, I'll be over to kick his arse through the bloody net, powerful demon master or whatnot not withstandin'!"_

_ "He's not 'playing about' with anyone! He's not like that!" Dawn defended._

_ "He better not be, 'cause you don't find women like Vance everyday. Hell, ever."_

_ "Do you have a thing for her?" Dawn gasped, panicked by the tone of his voice, the protectiveness, and defensiveness._

_ "Yeah- it's called love an' havin' her back. Now what has he got to be confused about?"_

_ "You know, Vance is awesome but Giles is too! And if you knew what he's done- all he had to work through and for, and he never thinks of himself, he's always lived for others. Well- since he was a grown up- anyway, Vance is lucky he loves her!" Dawn babbled angrily, voice rising._

_ "Biiiit! Pipe down!" Spike snarled from down the hall._

_ "Did you say he loves her?" Joey asked softly._

_ Speaking in a whisper, Dawn ignored his question. "He never talks about it, but he lost the one woman he really loved and he never- never really got over it. He tries. And then Vance came along..."_

_ "One true love, huh?"Joey mumbled and rose slowly. "Dawn, did you say he loves Vance?"_

_ "He won't say it. Not yet. I think it took him three years to say it to Buffy." Dawn pulled her knees to her chest and rocked gently. "He's all confused 'cause in his mind, Vance is like a goddess, and he's a grandpa... oh I don't know. He was all worked up and I don't want him to blow this. He really does love her. I can tell. I'm smart about stuff like love and - uh- well, yeah."_

_ Joey made a soothing noise. "She's sweet on him, too. She was all het up last night. Over pajamas, for God's sake."_

_ "He's going crazy trying to make the house romantic but not romantic."_

_ "Like the pajamas. Sexy, but not sexy. No wrong signals."_

_ "Oh, I know! They're like bats! Blind and flying into my hair!" Dawn beat her pillow viciously._

_ "She's waited for so long for another chance... Broken heart since- God- when did it happen..." Joey leaned back on the bed. "Must be fifteen years since she had someone in her life."_

_ "Been about ten years for him." Dawn laid back as well._

_ Joey smiled suddenly. "Guess we gotta do somethin' about it."_

_ "Really? Partners in crime?" _

_ "They're nice, Luv, brilliant an' that, but looks like they're all thumbs when it comes to tryin' again. Someone's gotta do somethin'."_

_ "I'll work on them here, if you work on them there?" Dawn offered._

_ "Sounds like a plan." Joey grinned to himself. _

_ There was an awkward pause and then Dawn hesitantly asked, "Hey, what did you mean, 'since it happened'?"_

_ "Since Vance had someone serious." Joey supplied, tone of voice making it clear that was not a subject to press._

_ "Oh. Okay. Did something happen to him?"_

_ "Yes." He snapped the word off._

_ "I'm not trying to be nosy. I just thought if there was anything I should know to help, maybe you would tell me."_

_ "It was horrible and violent, an' should never happen an' it destroyed her. For a long time she didn't do anything but sleep an' stay at the hospital to work. Any more information is hers to tell." Joey said firmly._

_ "I understand. No, honest. Because the same thing happened to Jenny. Giles' girlfriend. Only he couldn't just get lost inside himself, because Buffy needed him. Everyone needed him. But he hasn't gotten back on that horse until now. I always thought he was just too busy, but now I think he might be worried about hurting again. Vance wouldn't hurt him, would she?" Dawn chewed her lip._

_ "Never." Joey reassured, then spoke softly. "I'm sorry for his loss. It must be horrible to lose someone you love like that."_

_ "Yeah. I'm not doing that." Dawn shook her head firmly. "Buffy's done it, Willow's done it, Giles and now Vance. When I meet someone I like, I'm not taking them for granted and I'm not keeping secrets. I wish I could say I would never put them in danger, but hey, my job comes with a side order of potential getting killed." Dawn halted abruptly, realizing she'd just started rambling about love, life, and death to this nice guy who she really liked but had never even met, and she was probably scaring him._

_ "Makes sense to me. Just so you know, I don't think Vee's trying to keep things from Giles. It's just- it hurts her to think of, an' she's a bit closemouthed sometimes anyway. 'Til you get close to her."_

_ "Giles is the same. I totally get it." Dawn eagerly clarified. "And he really likes that Vance isn't super chatty. He put up with me and Buffy all this time. His ears need a rest." Joey laughed and she blushed. "Yours probably do, too, huh? I've been word vomiting all over you."_

_ "Sod that. Love to hear you talk. I could listen to you for hours." Joey said warmly. "Even when you get shirty. It's bloody adorable on you."_

_ "Hey!"_

_ "In a very threatenin' way, of course."_

_ "Oh. Then you're okay." Dawn bit her lip again. "I like talking to you, too. You're easy to talk to."_

_ "Mutual, girly."_

_ "Don't call me that!"_

_ "Sorry. Peace offerin'? If you want Vance to go for the guy- get your folks involved. She loves people, loves kids, loves bein' in a family or on a team. Make her feel like you want her there, an' you're golden."_

_ "Oooh, good tip." Dawn beamed. "And so easy to do. We're very welcoming."_

_ "To everyone?" Joey asked, a hint in his tone._

_ "It depends." She hedged, winding a long strand of hair around her finger._

_ "On what?"_

_ "On how that person acts. If they really try and we can trust them."_

_ "Very trustworthy. Very tryin' as well, you just ask my mum an' dad."_

_ Dawn giggled. "Not like that, but I know you're just being stupid now."_

_ "I prefer to think of it as light comedic relief. We talk about the deep stuff, you an' me."_

_ "Yeah. I guess we do." Her voice drifted to almost a whisper. "Hey, Joey?"_

_ "Hm, Luv?" _

_ "I gotta tell you something. In case it matters." _

_ "Somethin' about you?" Joey's stomach tensed. _Please don't let her do the 'I like you, but there's someone else' speech...

_"You might not believe this."_

_ "Your brother is a vampire an' your sister is the slayer. Try me."_

_ "I wasn't human until about six years ago." Dawn said flatly, fighting the wave of apprehension filling her stomach._

_ Joey blinked. "Come again?"_

_ "I wasn't human. I was a powerful cosmic thingy called a Key. I could open doors to other realms. A hell goddess wanted to use me to create hell on earth and so a bunch of monks turned me into a whiny teenager sister that Buffy would protect with her life- hence the little sister part. They magically changed everyone's memories, built a past for me that I really believed I had- still remember everything about it, even though it wasn't real- and uh. Yeah. So. Here I am. Dawn Summers, Watcher-to-Be, Power-That-Was."_

_ Joey blinked again, swallowed twice and finally asked, "Come again?"_

_ "It's too much, isn't it? Unbelievable." Dawn said bitterly._

_ "Hey, no! Hang on, I believe you. Why would you lie?" Joey soothed._

_ Dawn let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "You believe me?"_

_ "Sure. I don't understand most of what you said, but you're telling me the truth. You're always honest. Painfully so."_

_ "Is that a jibe?"_

_ "Bit of one, yeah." Joey raked his hand through his hair, pleased to find it now short and in good order. "The only reason I could think of why someone would make up a big story like that is if they think they gotta impress someone. But you know I already think you're amazin', so-"_

_ "You think I'm amazing?" Dawn yipped happily, interrupting him, and, she realized belatedly, sounding like a twelve year old._

_ "Of course! Now I think you're more amazing. You- you're full of mystic powers though? You can open dimensions to other worlds?" Joey scrunched his eyes painfully tight. He hoped to God no one on his team would ever hear this type of conversation. He sounded like some hopeless science fiction nerd._

_ "I don't have any powers. They made me one hundred percent human. I'm so normal I'd be really boring if not for the mess that is my family." Dawn laughed._

_ "No. No, I don't think anyone could ever call you normal, Dawn. Not someone special like you." Joey's voice was soft and appreciative. _

_ Dawn melted inside. _He just- accepted me. No questions, no accusations. And he doesn't care. He thinks I'm awesome with or without powers. _"Thank you." She cleared her throat and spoke briskly before she could turn into a girly marshmallow. "So, Mr. Partner in Crime, enough about me. What else does Vance like?"_

* * *

><p><em> Spike viciously hit his pillow and grumbled as he buried his face in Buffy's satiny shoulder.<em>

_ "Why?" Buffy murmured groggily, rolling over._

_ "Nothin'." Spike said tensely._

_ "Yeah, right. You always beat up the poor defenseless pillows in the middle of the night on our one night a month when both of us are off at the same time and we can catch up on our sleep." She fixed him with a pointed stare._

_ "_I'm_ her bloody partner in crime. Always have been. For the last six years, minus maybe about two years of me bein' an ass about things." He muttered and whopped the pillow again._

_ "You lost me." Buffy sighed, rolling on her back and tilting her face to his. Her slim figure, now slightly out of proportion because of her abundant cleavage from nursing, beckoned her husband to take his mind off his troubles. _

_ It failed. Spike muttered darkly under his breath, ignoring her invitation. Buffy knew it had to be serious then. "Spike? What's wrong?"_

_ "I can hear Bit. Not tryin' to, an' I can't hear all of it. She called that Joey Intern bloke her 'partner in crime'." _

_ "Oh. And that's a bad thing?"_

_ "I'm her soddin' partner in crime! _Me, _not even Willow or you,_ me._ Always have been- as I say, except when I was an ass about things." Spike rolled to his side and wrapped an arm around Buffy's shoulders. "I'm bein' stupid."_

_ "Just jealous." Buffy kissed his chin._

_ "I feel- I dunno. Usurped."_

_ "Ooh, high class word." Buffy giggled quietly. _

_ "You stop that." He snapped at her shoulder playfully, mood lightening as he took in the soft warmth against him, something that never ceased to amaze him. "Guess I got used to her plottin' with me, an' now she's schemin' with someone else."_

_ "She likes him."_

_ "I know."_

_ "You said we had to let her grow."_

_ "I know."_

_ "And she's going to be twenty in June."_

_ "I know, Luv!" Spike growled furiously. "I know all that. Doesn't mean I'm not sulkin' a little bit."_

_ Buffy was quiet, running her hand lightly over his chest, up and down over the cooler than normal ridges of muscle under pale moon white skin. "I guess things have to change a little. To make room for new things."_

_ "Mmf." Spike snorted noncommittally, staring unseeing at her._

_ "I was never your partner in crime, huh?" She whispered._

_ Spike jarred back to the woman beside him with a sharp mental snap. "You're my partner in everything, Pet. You're my life an' death an' eternity. Bit's someone I can be stupid with an' watch the game, play poker, and turn the music up with."_

_ "You can do those things with me. Except- okay, I don't like most of the crap you listen to, I still don't understand soccer- sorry 'football', and I have no chance in hell of playing poker with you since you can read my mind." Buffy sighed, suddenly feeling inadequate. "She's still going to be your best friend and hang out with you. She loves you."_

_ Spike rolled on top of Buffy and cupped her face in his hands, blue eyes burning into hers. "Get this in your pretty little mind, Luv. You're all I ever need, an' all I ever will need. I love Bit, and God knows I love William with all my unbeatin' heart- but you're it for me. Don't go knockin' yourself down 'cause I got broody."_

_ "I could always try to pay attention to the game." Buffy worked a hand up and stroked the tousled blonde hair._

_ "You could. But you don't have to. I love all the other things we do together. Patrols. When we take care of William together. Sparring with you. Dancin' with you. Talkin' to you. Lovin' you." Spike nibbled on her lips and started working his way down her neck._

_ "I can't take her place in the best friend department, I know that." Buffy gasped softly as his tongue swatted her claim._

_ "You don't need to." His head lifted, eyes boring into hers. "What you are to me, they don't make a label for, Luv. It's bigger and better than a best friend."_

_ "But there's no name for it." Buffy understood implicitly._

_ "It'd be pointless tryin' to name it, Pet. Be like tryin' to name everything you'd see in paradise, in heaven. But if I did, if I could- that's what you are to me."_

_ "I know just what you mean, Spike." Buffy swallowed a sudden lump in her throat, pulling him up, eyes reflecting intensely in his own. "There is a name for it. _Us_."_

_ "That's right, Sweetlet." Spike lowered his forehead to hers. "Us." He cleared his throat. "When I'm not bein' a stupid, selfish git, I understand that things need to change, need to move a bit. I want what we have for Dawn. For Giles, too, when you come to it. But mainly for my Niblet." He sighed. "If I gotta budge up a little to make room for this man, I guess I can do that. Once he passes my personal inspection." His brow ridged and unridged menacingly before his calm smile of resignation returned._

_ "She'll still be your best friend, Spike. Doofus. Like you could make her stop._ I _couldn't make her stop and you know how I can be."_

_ "Bossy." Spike teased under his breath, and got elbowed for it._

_ "You have a new best friend now." Buffy worked her hand up to tousle his sleep mussed platinum hair._

_ "Do I?" Spike tilted his head quizzically._

_ "Yeah. William. I mean, if you don't do it, who's going to teach him to play football and poker and break and enter in the pursuit of protecting the innocent? And make all those English foods you want at Christmas? Not me." She beamed up at him._

_ "Bloody hell, you're right. I'm a dad. I've got a lifetime of playin' to do and best mates to be." His eyes got dreamy and drifted away. "I bet he'll outrun his old man in no time..."_

_ "You're a vampire, Baby. I don't think so."_

_ "Well- he'll come close." Spike said stoutly. _

_ "That's right. You'll have a new partner in crime. Driving me crazy." She rolled her eyes._

_ "I love you, you know that?"_

_ "Yeah. I know that." Buffy slid one slim leg against his seductively. "Now why don't you show me just how much?"_

* * *

><p><em> "Okay, how much did you overhear last night?" Dawn demanded of her brother-in-law the next afternoon. Giles had just gone to collect Vance from the airport, and everyone else was busy. Dawn seized the moment.<em>

_ "I didn't mean to hear anything." Spike returned to dragging clothes from the dryer. "Bit, is this Tanya's or William's?" He held up a pastel yellow blanket._

_ "Tanya's and that's not important. I know you heard something, and I know you didn't mean to." Dawn unceremoniously dumped the rest of the clothes in the basket and whisked it from Spike's hands._

_ "Well- I heard you talkin' about Giles and Vance. Tryin' to get them together an all." Spike pushed down his petty feelings and smiled. "Glad you've got someone to help you with that."_

_ "Yeah, he's going to push it along while we work on things here. So we have like- no time- to plan." Dawn shook Spike's arm excitedly._

_ Spike gave her a pleased, startled look. "Thought you got yourself a new 'partner in crime'." He couldn't keep the hint of sulkiness from his tone._

_ "And what? You automatically assumed I don't need you anymore, big bad brother vampire?" Dawn scoffed, shaking her hair back in a toss of annoyance. "You helped me get them started in the first place. I don't think you get out of this so easily."_

_ Spike's most boyish grin spread across his face. "Glad to hear it."_

_ Dawn huffed and mussed his perfectly combed hair. "You're such a dweeb."_

_ "Oi!"_

_ "You are! You were all pouty and thought I replaced you. Ass. Like I could ever replace you!" She crossed her arms and glared. "I am so not _you_. _I _don't just drop someone to go chase after Buffy and totally forget about your gin rummy-punk rock- sneaking out after dark- friend."_

_ Spike rolled his eyes, knowing he had kind of let his friendship with Dawn fall apart once Buffy was in his life the first time, but he hadn't made the same mistake twice. Once they were back, he'd never neglected his Niblet. "I already apologized for that, Bit. How long are you gonna torture me about it?"_

_ "Until one of us dies." Dawn smiled complacently. _

_ "Guess I win." Spike smiled sadly._

_ "No, scratch that... I'm going to put it in my will that my children, your nieces and nephews, have to give you a hard time, too."_

_ Spike hugged her hard, nose buried in the soft silk of her hair. "I love you, Dawn. That's bloody thoughtful of you." He murmured._

_ "Yeah, yeah, I love you too." Dawn pushed back, trying not to let her smile wobble or her eyes leak. "Now- help me think of ways to make Vance feel like she's a necessary part of the family."_

_ "Well, she is, isn't she? Kids need her."_

_ "Good, but we all have to show her we want her around."_

_ "You might want to get Buffy in on this then. And the others."_

_ "Good plan. Council of war."_

_ "Better be a damn short council of war. He'll be back in under an hour, unless the plane is late."_

_ "Then do your claim-y internal cell phone thing and ask Buffy to round up Willow and Xander so we can plot!"_

_ "Aye, aye, Sir." Spike gave a mocking salute at her commanding tone. Dawn hurled a bib at him and pretended to be mad, just like he pretended to be annoyed._

* * *

><p><em> "Giles! Giles!" Vance waved happily from the end of the walkway.<em>

_ "Vance!" Giles smiled charmingly and suavely- for all of three seconds. Then he broke into a run and laughed. "Vance, darling!"_

_ "Oh, I missed you, Luv." Vance let herself give into her urges and threw her arms around his neck, her small duffle bag smacking into his shoulder. "Sorry, Dear."_

_ "The hell with the baggage, I've got my arms full of you." Giles sighed and squeezed her tight, actually lifting her a few inches off the floor. When he put her down he was treated to both her silvery laugh and her silvery gray eyes gleaming at him. I was a damn fool to think of letting her go, he thought to himself, before he leaned down and pressed their lips together._

I'm so glad I chose the red silk pair. _Vance let her tongue tease open the thin, firm lips tasting her own. _I think I might well need them.

_ "I can't wait to get some time to just be with you on our own." Giles sighed, releasing her. "London was so terribly hectic. After you examine the children and consult your resources, we can go for a long walk in the park. Xander and Willow love this little Italian place, we could go for supper..."_

_ "Sounds lovely, Giles. I do think it'll take part of each day to work with the children. Especially Tanya. I spoke to someone at McHouls, and there are some things I can do to test her powers and their limitations. I can help Willow learn to work in tandem with her, be her anchor. Well- in theory, anyway. There are a lot of books on parental power passage that I read, but you know I can't help with the actual magic. I think your coven will need to help me there."_

_ "Of course. I'll arrange it if Willow and I can't manage to decipher the instructions you provide." Giles wrapped his arm across her shoulders and she leaned her head slowly into his chest. "You know, perhaps I could even teach you some simple protection spells. You could use them. Especially around here."_

_ "You don't want to risk teaching me-" Vance trailed off. Candles. Crystals. Sitting close to him in a smoky, incense scented room. Which might promptly blow up if she got distracted. Which, given her little fantasies, she would. "I'm not a good student."_

_ "I've taught Buffy to use fifty three different weapons and over five hundred fighting moves and techniques. More impressive- I taught Xander how to read a Latin codex. I can teach anyone." Giles let his hand slip from her shoulder to her waist._

_ "Oh, Luv. We're not talking about a little karate chop. One wrong word and -"_

_ "I won't let anything happen to you." Giles murmured. "If you ever do want to learn."_

_ Vance flushed and nodded, not trusting her vocal cords at the moment. _

_ Giles led her to the car, opened the door for her in his most gallant fashion and drove at a leisurely pace to the suburbs of Pine Ridge._

_ "My goodness. This place is lovely. It looked quite different at ninety miles an hour." Vance teased him._

_ "I was in a bit of a hurry the last time. But I promise- no more rushing. Enjoy the view."_

_ Vance settled her glasses on the slender bridge of her nose and leaned languidly back in her seat, sideways, facing her chauffeur. "Oh, don't worry. I am." She purred._

_ Giles coughed and tried to look at the road, not the devilish eyes glinting over the rims of her glasses, fixing him with a stare, fixating him with a glance. "Erm. Good flight?"_

_ "Not bad." Vance adjusted her position so it wasn't as intensely concentrated on him. She gave herself a mental lecture about the difference between being open to the idea of romance versus acting like a sex starved maniac. _Giles probably thinks I'm some horribly forward creature.

I'm going to have to pull over and walk into the nearest body of water if she keeps looking at me like that._ Giles tugged on his collar. "Everyone is so excited you're coming."_

_ "I'm excited, too." Vance smiled softly, the cat like grin disappearing._

_ Giles cast a quick look at her. She'd turned down the potent sexual heat she was giving off. But she still was making his heart throb. Among other organs. He cleared his throat again. "You are the most damnably alluring woman." He finally rasped out._

_ Vance blinked in surprise and then smiled. "Only to you." She let her hand stroke down his arm and rest on his knee has he drove. _

_ "That's the only way I want it." He laughed, and rested his hand atop hers. In time, their fingers twined, then locked. "Are you tired?"_

_ "Not a bit."_

_ "Wonderful. Everyone will be waiting at Buffy and Spike's. They're making supper and we managed to get in all the medical equipment you wanted, so you can look it over. And Willow will help you with the magical end of things, Dawn's said she'll take down any notes for you, and -"_

_ "Giles." Vance interrupted._

_ "What, Dear?"_

_ "If I am tired, after all of that- would a nap in my room be acceptable?"_

_ "Of course! As soon as you like."_

_ "Without anyone around? So I won't be disturbed?" _

_ Giles paused. "Uh, certainly. I can go spend a few hours with the children."_

_ "Not you, it's your home! I meant- will we have an audience?" Vance swallowed her nerves and her cheeks stained a perceptible pink._

She wants to be alone with me. _"No one will disturb us. I mean, you. Your sleep. We'll be alone in the house. That is to say- dammit." _

_ Vance laughed. "It's alright. I've simply missed you."_

_ "I've missed you, too. And I can't wait to spend some time with you. Just the two of us."_

* * *

><p><em> That didn't happen right away. Taking Joey's words to heart- and to the extreme, Dawn organized a constant familial outpouring of togetherness. And Vance, true to Joey's insight, loved it, and couldn't tear herself away from the loving family until exhaustion forced her to. Her sleep remained undisturbed- by anyone.<em>

_ She and Giles took their walk in the park, only to find Xander and Willow taking Tanya for a ride in her stroller. Giles made reservations for lunch, only to find Buffy and Spike were baking themselves into a coma and Vance felt guilty leaving their hard work for a restaurant. He arranged a study session with the coven's collection of materials, and ended up finding the entire family camped around his dining room in research mode, reminiscent of so many long nights in Sunnydale. And neither Giles nor Vance could find the heart to mind that they hadn't gotten anytime alone, because spending time together as a family truly was wonderful._

_ "You couldn't ask for more than this." Vance sighed as she kissed William's head, laying him in his crib._

_ "I agree." Dawn turned on his nightlight and motioned Vance to follow her from the room. _

_ "Everyone has made me feel so welcome. I'm so glad I could help with the little ones. They're so precious." Vance took one last longing look at the little boy and smushed down a long lost ache. _

_ "Of course you're welcome. You're on the team. You're family." Dawn made the bold statement. This was the third evening. Vance left tomorrow morning. And no big moves had been made! She could tell by the way both of them still had that strange, but weakening barrier of politeness and reserve. What the hell did it take to crack these two?_

_ "Family. How sweet. You're so sweet, Dawn. Giles is a lucky man." _

_ "He's only missing one thing." Dawn hinted. Vance looked at her sideways. "But I think he's finding it." She smiled._

* * *

><p><em> "So. You an' the lady doctor." Spike, Giles, and Xander took the lead on patrolling, leaving the ladies at home to put the final touches on organizing the baby log books and notes Vance wanted them to start keeping between her visits.<em>

_ "Yes, Vance and I." Giles admitted grudgingly, although he didn't know why he should begrudge the admission. It wasn't a secret. They held hands, they walked together, they were openly affectionate, even if not up to the younger couples' standards of openness. "What of it?"_

_ "Nothing." Xander said quickly. "We were just noticing it. The uh- flames of desire." He snorted suddenly. Spike elbowed him._

_ "What does that mean?" Giles demanded, rounding on him, eyes flashing._

_ "Ignore him. He's lost half his eyes and the brain followed in sympathy." Spike shushed Xander with a glare._

_ "Do you mean because I'm not pinning Vance to a wall to chew on her neck like some people-"_

_ "Oi! Vampire thing. Necks are special!" Spike protested._

_ "-or giggling and pinching each others' rears every spare moment-"_

_ "Will has a great butt, come on!" Xander pleaded._

_ "-doesn't mean that Vance and I don't have 'flames of passion'! We simply need a little time alone to - to -let things simmer." Giles rolled over the protests and concluded with a heated stab of his sword into a nearby tree trunk._

_ "Easy, mate, that tree never did anything to you." Spike stepped back._

_ "Well, you treat us like we're frigid old maids and that's not the case."_

_ "I know! Dude, I saw Ripper. I heard about Joyce and the police car." Xander looked impressed._

_ "Don't bring that up, daft boy." Spike hissed._

_ "No, go on, bring it up. As Buffy said, the thought of me having a sex life is 'gross'."_

_ "She wasn't thinking clearly then, you know that." Spike waved Xander to silence before he could say anything. He didn't trust him just now. "Not to get in your business, but Vance an' you seem made for each other an' we'd all be happy if you were happy. 'Course if you aren't happy, I got a set of fangs that haven't had any decent British food in a dozen years, if you know what I mean."_

_ I do and you're a pig, and yes, Vance makes me happy." Giles rattled off yanking the sword free. "And if we ever got a moment alone, perhaps we could talk about what we'd like to do about that."_

_ Xander and Spike exchanged a look, and promptly wheeled about, collecting their father figure, each taking an arm. "Ask and ye shall receive, you tweedy Casanova." Xander grinned._

_ "Now what?" Giles sighed, shrugging them off, although falling in step with them._

_ "You want alone. We got an alone special." Xander explained. "Free with any order of Vance."_

_ "Oh stop this. I can't possibly even contemplate romantic interludes with Vance when you're all going to be - contemplating that as well." He shuddered._

_ "Giles, as far as we're concerned, you want to spend time alone with her. You could drink tea or break out the blindfolds and whip cream for all we care."_

_ "Xander Harris!" Giles barked, turning red._

_ "Steady on." Spike mumbled. "Look, you get her back to your place and enjoy whatever you wanna enjoy. I can get Dawn to fill in for you. After all the things you put up with from Watcher Junior, she owes you."_

_ Giles considered, then relented. "Make a single crude remark-" He began a dire threat._

_ "Listen, all our stupid stuff aside, we like her. She makes you happy an' you don't get to visit too often. We won't say anything." Spike lit his nightly cigarette. "I quite like her, too. I thought she'd be more stuffy, but you let her into the craziness and she takes to it like a duck to water."_

_ "She's so good with Tanya. Which, no offense to anyone here, because you're both kick ass sitters, but it's nice to go out and know I won't come home to find my kid with puncture marks or reciting spells." Xander joked._

_ The trio walked in silence for a moment, the only sound was Giles coughing at the cigarette smoke. Then with a long sigh, he looked up at the densely clouded sky. "She might not even want to spend an evening with just me, not after she's enjoyed your company so much. She did at the beginning, but she so loves being with the family."_

_ "You_ are _the head of the family." Xander pointed out with a leer._

_ "Not helpful." Giles frowned. _

_ "Gimme a minute. Think I'm gonna have another." Spike flicked open his lighter and waved the two men along._

_ "You never have two." Xander cocked his head. Spike jerked his head meaningfully and mouthed "GO!". "But hey, I'm not one to judge. Giles, you worry too much. She's been cooped up with Buffy and Will and the kids all day. She'd be dying to get out and have oral surgery, let alone have a nice quiet smoochie fest with you."_

_ "What, I'm barely preferable to painful dental work?" _

_ "Let me rephrase..."_

_ Spike watched them head farther from the cemetery path and closed his lighter. Grabbing his cell phone he pressed the second button on his speed dial. _

_ "Spike?" Dawn's voice sounded surprised, then worried. "Are you guys okay?"_

_ "We're fine. Except for Watcher Senior. Make that Horny Watcher Senior."_

_ "What? Giles? Really?"_

_ "My take on it. He wants some time alone with the good doctor. Can you persuade her to leave the little ones?"_

_ "No problem. This is gonna work if I have to kill something."_

_ "Jus' make sure it's nothing we need, Bit." Spike chuckled and hung up._

* * *

><p><em> "Vance? Are you getting tired?" Dawn hung up and snuck her phone into her back pocket.<em>

_ "Hm? Oh, no, I've managed the jet lag really well this trip."_

_ "Oh! Oh, all over his jammies." Buffy stood up suddenly, with a crying William who had spit up the remains of his bottle. "Vance, he doesn't seem to like the formula, only breast milk, but he's out eating me! He's like a little power house." _

_ "Possibly he needs something in your milk. Slayer antibodies? The human part of him may be compensating for the fact that his vampire part gets no blood. Hm, I don't know, I hadn't considered-"_

_ "Yeah, you're not going to figure that out in a few hours, and you really need some sleep if you want to get up early and tackle the problem, right? Right." Dawn grabbed Vance's arm and hauled her from the couch._

_ "But I-"_

_ "No, you're right. You're right, Dawn." Buffy jumped in, eyes suddenly widening. Inside her mind, she was hearing Spike's insistent voice saying "Get Vance to Giles' place." on an infinite loop, getting more clear as the seconds passed. Spike must be on his way on home. "Vance should get some rest. I'm a slayer, I can handle it. You make more milk the more you need, right?"_

_ "Right, that's what the La Leche people told us." Willow stood up, holding Tanya. She didn't know what was going on, but she could read Dawn and Buffy like books by now. Buffy had her "cover up" face on, and Dawn had a certain underlying urgency in her tone. "And you've been working the whole time you've been here."_

_ "Giles said he was coming back early. I bet he'd love to talk to you before you go. Uh, you know, while you're still awake. Face to face, not over an ocean." Dawn tugged more firmly. _

_ "We'll all be up to see you before you go, we promise." Willow chimed in._

_ "You've done so much, you should rest." Buffy added._

_ Vance stared between all three of them in surprise, and then looked over her glasses pointedly, her most severe face on. "What's going on?"_

_ Dawn and Buffy exchanged a glance. Willow shrugged. She didn't know. "Um, look, I don't know what's the deal, but Spike is calling me through the claim. He said you should go get back to Giles'."_

_ "Yeah and he's calling me in the normal way- through the cell phone. Giles would love to spend some time with you before we leave." Dawn closed her eyes, mentally made a note to have a long rehashing with Joey and Spike ASAP, and then sighed out, "We really like you. And we know Giles does, too, and we wanted you to feel like you're at home so- so we were selfish. We hogged you, and you guys didn't to have a date by yourselves and now it's late so you really can't unless you want to order pizza or go grab a beer." _

_ Vance beamed. "You wanted me to feel at home?"_

_ "Really a lot." Buffy nodded emphatically._

_ "You succeeded. But you're right. Giles and I should spend some time together on our own. When we're both awake." Vance had been entertained or Giles had been patrolling and they'd always gone to their respective rooms with no more than a sleepy kiss. Neither of them wanted to ask for anything more, afraid to seem greedy or disrespectful of the other person's needs._

_ "I'll walk you to his place." Dawn offered. _

_ "I'll go, too. Buffy, will you watch Tanya?"_

_ "After I clean up William." Buffy sighed and looked at her son._

_ "Let me give you a quick hand, Buffy." Vance offered._

_ "No, Vance, you should-"_

_ "You should let me, my dear. I do like feeling like a part of the family, not company. And family cleans up baby messes. Company gets shunted off."_

_ "In that case- errgh, take him. How can someone so tiny spit out so much?" Buffy passed William to Vance's outstretched hands and they shared a laugh._

* * *

><p><em> Giles laughed sheepishly when Vance came up the walk beside him. In the distance, Willow, Dawn, Spike, and Xander fled the scene, trying to look innocent as they escorted the couple to their rendezvous point. "Hello, there." Giles grinned bashfully.<em>

_ "They sent me home." She took his hand as they hit his porch._

Home. Yes, that has a nice feel to it. This being her home. Oh, for heaven's sake, man, this isn't a fairy tale. There's time and distance and careers to consider. _"Spike and Xander pushed me along as well." Giles met her eyes as he opened the door. "I'm sorry, Luv. We were going to spend time together and then everything else happened. My family does seem to- love you."_

_ "It's mutual." Vance said simply, but warmly._

_ Giles held the door for her, and they entered the dimly lit hallway. "Vance- if I didn't come with all these people-"_

_ "I'd still think you were a wonderful man." Vance shushed him, a finger to his lips. "And If I didn't have some specialized talent-"_

_ "You'd still be the most attractive, intelligent, charming woman." Giles kissed her fingertip. "But without my family-"_

_ "I'd never have met you." Vance stroked his hair back from his seamed brow. "Still, without the talent you've had had no need for me."_

_ "Without your talent and my family we wouldn't be here together." Giles bunched her soft black brown hair into his palms. "Maybe we were meant to meet."_

_ "I like to think so."_

_ Giles locked the door and flipped on the light. "It isn't too late. I can make tea? Or I have some wine and cheese- oh, and some of Buffy's brownies."_

_ "Chocolate and wine. Mr. Giles are you trying to pry with alcohol and sweets?"_

_ "No!" Giles said quickly, then caught the gleam in her eye. "Unless of course you'd like me to."_

_ Vance swallowed a sudden rush of hot blood in her throat. "I-" Dammit. Words failed. Yes, she wanted to be seduced, or do the seducing, and no, she didn't want it based on alcohol, and no, she didn't want to say anything that might sound like she wanted to dive in to bed, or that she didn't. Dammit. "I-"_

_ "That was too forward?" Giles asked, hazel eyes full of worry._

_ "No. No, it wasn't."_

_ "Good. Because I didn't mean it to sound that way." Giles sighed, shaking his head. "Good Lord. Vance, I'm quite out of practice."_

_ "So am I. Everything's so easy to say the wrong way."_

_ Giles considered this and nodded once. "Perhaps we shouldn't try to word everything just so."_

_ "I won't, if you won't." Vance relaxed slightly._

_ "Deal. I'll fix up a tray and bring it to the living room. If you want to change. Oh, not for- that is- you've got some white stains down your front."_

_ "Oh, William didn't like his formula tonight." Vance laughed, looking down at her blue cotton blouse. "I'll go change. And you might want to do the same. Again- not for- anything particular. You've got grass stains all over your trousers." She began to leave the room, heading towards the guest room._

_ "So I do. Slid in a fresh grave, I'm afraid. Careless of me." He gave her a sudden rueful grin. "I was distracted at the time." Vance colored, nodded, and quickened her pace up the stairs._

Oh Lord. This is it._ Giles uncorked the bottle of red wine, grabbed the brownies, grabbed the cheese and crackers and hurried upstairs._ I'll arrange the food later, I have to see to myself. Good heavens, I'm a mess.

* * *

><p>My hair's all knotted and my glasses are smudged, heaven only knows what he'll think about the pajamas. Do I risk the pajamas? With the robe. I'll wear the matching robe. Do I need a shower first? <em>Vance grabbed her suitcase and whisked it across the hall to the upstairs bathroom. She and Giles didn't have to share, as he had one in the bedroom so all of her toiletries were already in place. She'd touch up her make up in there as well, she decided.<em>

* * *

><p>Just a quick shower. And a shave.<em> Giles stepped into the master bathroom and into the shower, trying not to look at his back as he did so. <em>Too many scars. She's a doctor. She's going to know, or at least have an inkling, of what made them. Hell.

* * *

><p>Sags. Only tiny ones.<em> Vance looked at her breasts in the bathroom mirror, then turned to the rear. <em>Not bad. Not bad for a woman of- forty. _Forty. _Why when I'm forty do I suddenly have to go back on display? I should've been married to a man who'd aged with me, seen this body through youthful glories and childbearing into hard earned middle age. And instead I have an average body with no character, but nothing special either. Unless you count the legs. I always did think I had nice legs...

* * *

><p><em>Giles stood leaning against the mantle, trying to look suave and at ease, a glass in his hand, a charming smile in place- all without trying to look like he was trying. It didn't work. With a heavy sigh he moved to put the glass down and prepared to crash onto the sofa in his black brushed cotton robe and his best piece of nightwear- black silky trousers. The effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that it had no matching top and instead he wore a plain white tee shirt with it. <em>

_ He stopped short when he heard a swish of silk on the stairs. And he let go of the glass, letting it tip onto the tray with a soft clink. "Oh Lord." He whispered._

_ Vance had on a calf length red silk robe and under it, matching siren red silk pajamas. The top was cut in a low scoop, and the trousers flowed- or would have, if they weren't clinging to her damp from the shower skin. _Oh Lord, those long, curvy legs, and those slender shoulders. If the fabric is clinging there, it's clinging everywhere. Thank God for her robe. What am I saying? Curses on that robe!

_Giles found his voice. "You look absolutely smashing. Stunning." He praised breathlessly._

_ "You as well." Vance said genuinely. He just looked- perfect. The combination of casual and dressed to kill with the plain tee and the trousers cut just right, falling to his ankles in a soft bag. Showing off that tight rear. All that training... what is under that robe? _Down, girl!

_ "Wine?"_

_ "Please." Vance gracefully sat, crossing her legs and making Giles momentarily forget to look where he was pouring. "Giles, darling! The brownies!"_

_ "Drat." He hastily lifted the overflowing glass to his lips and Vance whisked the now soggy plate of brownies away from the flooding glass._

_ "Wine and chocolate." Vance eyed the brownies with an amused grin._

_ "I don't believe they were meant to be mixed in that fashion." Giles sucked red wine off his fingers._

_ "We'll see." Vance bravely took a bite and then made a face. "Mm. Yum."_

_ "You're a terrible actress." Giles laughed and took the plate from her._

_ "It's an acquired taste." She admitted, and licked her own chocolate coated thumbs. Giles stared myopically as her tongue darted and swirled, innocently erotic. "What?" Vance asked, oblivious of her motions._

_ "You- you missed some, On your cheek." Giles covered, and reached out to brush her chin with his thumb, then trailed it across her lips. He jumped when her tongue tip brushed the sensitive ball of his thumb. "There. I got it." He said hoarsely._

_ "You've dripped wine down your chin." Vance leaned forward and let her own thumb reach for the faint red trickle. This time, Giles caught her hand and held it there._

_ "Such soft hands." He smiled._

_ "Such a strong face." She returned the compliment. _

_ Giles leaned forward and she mimicked him, coming slowly together. _

_ The kiss lasted for a few moments, innocently exploring, becoming less innocent. Giles scooted forward first, and Vance found herself starting to recline. _

_ "I'm so glad you came over." Giles breathed between kisses, hands firmly tangled in her hair now._

_ "Me, too." Vance laughed against his cheek. "And I- I like this place far more than a hotel." She panted as he stole a mouthful of air in another passionate kiss._

_ "You'll always stay here?"_

_ Always stay here... Vance saw a sudden flash of rosy future, and went limp. Her wrist hit the edge of the coffee table with a thump and a pile of books skidded to the floor. "Let me get those." She struggled up._

_ Giles rose to assist her. "I meant when you come to work, or- or a visit." Giles said hesitantly. He realized that could have been misinterpreted._

_ "I would love to always stay here." Vance smiled, shaking her head. "We weren't going to talk so much. And here I am, starting conversations about all sorts of things." She laughed, silvery sound now slightly nervy._

_ "I love to talk to you- oh dash it!" Their hands had collided and knocked over the just restacked books again. "Although it has a disastrous effect on my coordination. When I'm around you I can't see straight."_

_ "Neither can I." Vance confessed. _

_ "It's because you keep looking over the tops of your glasses at me." Giles' voice went raspy. "You must know what that does to me."_

_ "Why, what does it do?" Vance murmured. Their heads were now brushing as they knelt on the floor, hands resting on a lopsided tower of books._

_ "Very good things." Giles breathed, and gave into the sirenous call of her eyes, pushing his mouth to hers in a sudden fury._

_ She squeaked as she lost her balance, but didn't break the kiss, one hand grasping the back of his neck as they fell back._

_ "Those books haven't a hope in hell." Giles groaned, pushing them roughly aside as they collapsed for the third time. "I'm sorry, I seem to have gotten destructive."_

_ "Oh, Tiger." Vance giggled, and his own soft, deep chuckle joined her. "Here, lets get off this floor." He stood and helped her sit back up, then stand. Neither of them sat back on the couch._

_ "Are you getting tired?" He asked with one final burst of gentlemanly manners before his lust could sweep it away._

_ "No. You have rejuvenating properties." Vance wrapped her arms around his neck and they resumed their embrace, more insistently. "Everything about you, Giles, makes me- makes me wake up." She thought of Joey's words. "I've been asleep for a long time, and along comes Prince Charming. Not that I'm a beauty, but-"_

_ "Oh no, you're wrong, Luv. You're the beauty, but I'm not the prince. If anything I'm the old sorcerer."_

_ "I love that about you. I love the magic you do, and the family you have. I love the strange and wonderful aspects of your life as much as I love the normal day to day things. Thank you for sharing both with me." She breathed out her impassioned monologue before her natural reticence could reassert itself._

She loves the strangeness of the magic and the creatures. She loves the normal things, the making dinner and looking after the children. She's beautiful and brilliant and everything I could ever want. I'm not stupid enough to miss this, am I? _"You love both?"_

_ "Yes." She smiled._

_ "And the family?"_

_ "Yes." More firmly, smile serious._

_ "Anything else?" He asked cautiously._

_ Vance regarded him with somber gray eyes. "Yes."_

_ Giles' heart did some strange arrhythmic dance before he could speak. "I've fallen in love with you." He said with an effort. It was as risky as anything he ever did or said. And he hadn't thought it in so long, said it in so, so long. If she didn't feel the same..._

_ "Thank God." Vance hugged him exuberantly, eyes closed in a thankful prayer that this whole thing wasn't backfiring. That for the first time in over fifteen years someone had worked his way into her heart and she wanted him there. That it was going to be mutual. It was going to be okay. "I've fallen in love with you, too." She breathed in his ear, feeling his arms tighten convulsively and she returned the embrace just as tightly._

_ Giles laughed, letting out weeks of pent up nerves. "Truly?"_

_ "Truly."_

_ "That's wonderful." He let go of her enough to angle his head for a kiss, before wrapping her up in his arms again, relief flooding him. "Wonderful."_

_ "Isn't it?" She sighed, molding more firmly into him, feeling his broad, muscular chest, his warmth, solid and comforting, big, but not overwhelming. Perfection._

_ He lost himself in the feel of her, warm and silken, sweetly scented in his arms, head on his chest. The way a woman should fit against him. Perfection. "I do love you." He hazarded, relaxing more and more as he felt her snuggle into him._

_ "And I do love you." She whispered, half afraid to say it so clearly._

_ "I don't know- I don't know exactly what to do about it though." Giles confessed, head resting atop hers._

_ Vance licked her lips, not in seduction, but to wet them because they'd dried out suddenly. All of her moisture seemed to be redirected south. "You could show me."_

_ "Could I?" His voice seemed to echo, lightheadedness suddenly swarming him._

_ "We could. Both of us." Vance's finger dug into his back and she realized she had a slight tremor in them._

_ Giles felt the little tremble in her touch. "We shouldn't stay in this room. We seem to be putting the books at risk. All I need is to spill wine on the last surviving copy of the original Watcher's Council Rules of Order." _

_ "That would be a shame." Vance let him take her hands, walking backwards from the room. _

_ "We need someplace far less breakable."_

_ "Well, the guest room doesn't seem to have too many artifacts in it." She played along._

_ "Yes, good point." He smiled, a smidgen of boyish playfulness emerging under the anxiousness in his eyes, "Although, you haven't seen the other upstairs rooms. Perhaps you'd like to compare before making a choice?"_

_ "You're the host."_

_ "You're the guest." Giles paused at the top of the steps. "I want you to be happy here. Comfortable."_

_ "At home?" Vance hit the heart of the matter with her usual succinctness. _

_ "Precisely." He adored that directness. _

_ The first door in the upstairs hall was open and revealed what Giles referred to as "the library annex", shelves upon shelves and glass cases filled with books, scrolls and rarities. "Definitely unsuitable." Vance's stomach clenched in pleasurable apprehension. The next room was hers. "Suitable."_

_ "And you're comfortable there." Giles encouraged. _What the hell are we doing? This should be a scene of grand passion and I'm asking about comfortableness and suitability. Am I so ancient?

_ "You're so sweet to look after me. No one- well, I always look after myself." Vance grinned, a touch of sadness marring the warmth in her eyes. _

Ahh. That's why I'm doing it this way, all softly, For that soft tone, and that soft touch._ "It's a pleasure." He opened the last door at the end of the hall, revealing a plainly furnished master bedroom, bed rumpled, closet door ajar revealing a somewhat disorderly row of clothes. "Then, there's this one."_

_ Vance looked around the room. Bigger bed. Dimly lit. A subtle masculine scent of Giles' soap and shaving cream. "This is a lovely room."_

_ "Sparse I'm afraid. Buffy and Dawn attempted to give it the- er -woman's touch but I'd already had enough of that back when we first rented. I didn't let them in here."_

_ "Well-" Vance ran her hand along the doorway, " do you mind _me_ touching?"_

_ "Absolutely not." Giles caught her hand. "Feel free."_

_ For a second, neither moved, locked in the doorway. "Say it again?" Vance asked finally._

_ "Feel free?"_

_ "No. The part that's the hardest to say." She took her glasses off and tucked them into her robe pocket, pupils dilating, charcoal pools in silver agate rims. _

_ No man could resist those eyes. Certainly not this man. "I have fallen in love with you. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He teased gently._

_ "Yes." Vance launched into his arms. "I fell in love with you the moment I saw you pick up William the day he was born."_

_ "You did?" Giles sounded flattered beyond belief. "All that time?"_

_ "I refused to admit it to myself, but yes."_

_ "You're not the only one who denied it to themselves. But now that I said it- hm. I feel quite brave and I rather like saying it." He set a hand on each of her hips, and gave her a squeeze. She laughed and took a quick step back into the room._

_ "No one could ever doubt you're brave." Vance allowed herself to be lifted in his arms, just so her toes skimmed the floor and spun her once. "You've gotten quite playful as well."_

_ "Playful isn't the word." Giles growled softly, kissing her neck._

_ Vance gasped, head tilting back, and closing her eyes. "If I wake up and this turns out to be a dream, you're going to get a severely passionate phone call in the morning. Or a really cranky one."_

_ "When you wake up, you're going to be right next to me, no phone call required." Giles boldly murmured, lips working down from her neck to her cleavage. When he felt her sharp intake of air, raising her breasts to pillow his jaw, he moaned, but decided maybe he should've been a bit less high-pressure. "Even if you just sleep beside me, I'd like that."_

_ "Are you tired, Luv?" Vance slowly undid the sash on her robe, hands still having a telltale tremor._

_ "Not terribly." Giles' eyes followed her slender fingers, and then the gape of the robe as it parted. His mouth dried out as he saw the soft feminine curve between her legs outlined by damp silk._

_ "Good. Then I'll sleep beside you- after." Vance followed his hands, now undoing his own dressing gown, lips parting with another little pant of anticipation as she saw the hard rise in the front of his trousers._

_ "Ah. After." _

_ Like magnets, spurred on by what they saw and wanted to see, they clung together, kissing more insistently, hungrily working their way towards the bed until the back of Giles' knees his the mattress and he sat with a thump, Vance falling on top of him with a hiss of passion. "It's been a very long time since I found someone I - I wanted to do this with." Vance breathed._

_ "I know, Darling. Me, too. In which case, I apologize if I'm rusty."_

_ "You? You radiate virility. Me, on the other hand-"_

_ "Radiate pure sultriness. You've nothing to worry about."_

_ "Neither do you."_

_ "Right then." Giles nodded firmly, reached across the bed, and turned off the small reading lamp. The room was plunged into darkness and instincts of two superb, experienced lovers took over. _

_ "Giles." A breathy moan and a rustle of fabric._

_ A low chuckle and a sudden cloth rip. "Bloody hell. Thought I'd finally mastered the gentle touch."_

_ "Don't be too gentle, Sweetie. I wasn't always the button-down doctor you love."_

_ "I adore the lack of buttons right now." Giles kissed a feathery trail between her breasts, soft and generous without being large, hen circled them, finally finding nipples. _

_ Vance's back arched and her fingers dug into Giles' now bare back. _

_ They both froze. _

What was that? Oh God, lots of them. _Cords of raised flesh and fine lines, a few deep sunken spots about the size of a finger tip. Vance's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she moved her hands back up to his shoulders. Wounds. Scars. Not from surgery or accidents. From battles and fights, and some- neat and deliberately parallel- made on purpose. Underneath that kind family man and the powerful head of a conglomerate of secret operatives was a warrior, a hero. And he was in love with her. Her heart ached for all the pain she couldn't ever take away."Do they hurt?" She whispered._

_ "No." Giles replied stiffly. "No. It was a long time ago."_

_ "They didn't heal very well." She murmured, hands gently beginning to stroke his back. He moved under hands and they both relaxed again._

_ "I didn't get them treated by a doctor. Xander treated them, actually. He did the best he could."_

_ "Surely Willow could have-"_

_ "She was in the hospital. Buffy was missing. I wouldn't let anyone else touch me. If it bothers you, I can put another shirt on."_

_ "Nothing about you could bother me. Here." Vance massaged the warm, muscular back. "There now, how does that feel?"_

_ "You do have healing hands, Doctor." Giles grinned. _

_ "Yours aren't so bad, Watcher." She teased as his hands trailed down her torso, ending at her waist band. _

_ "May I?"_

_ "If I may?" _

_ "Please do." _

_ Again, neither moved for a second, until passionate kissing resumed and stoked up their confidence. _

_ Let's see if I remember my way around this particular piece of anatomy, Vance found herself thinking, just before Giles moaned responsively. _I guess I didn't forget too much. _She smiled and lightly stroked._

Dear Lord. Dear Lord,_ that's _been missed. And so has this... _Giles found a soft patch of curls that covered an even softer set of dewey lips. "You're _so_ soft, Darling. Did you know that? Like baby skin."_

_ "You're so hard, Lover, did you know_ that_? Absolute steel. Oh, God. Oh, God, do that. Do more of _that_."_

_ "Can I do something else instead?" Giles asked wolfishly. _

_ "Only if I can return the favor. Whatever it is."_

_ "You most definitely can do anything you like to me. Anything at all." Giles sighed and reclined more fully on top of his lover, then moved slowly down._

_ "You're enjoying this." Vance giggled. _

_ "I'm with the woman I love, what's not to enjoy?" He raised himself above her and stared into her eyes. "Am I doing too much at once? I don't want to push. If this should be slower and someplace romantic, we can always wait."_

_ "Darling- I think we've waited long enough, don't you?" Vance met his eyes, melting him in their depths._

_ "I only want to make you happy, and dammit, I've waited a bloody long time for some happiness for myself, too."_

_ "I'll promise not to hurt you, if you promise not to hurt me."_

_ "Nothing will ever hurt you if I can help it." Giles swore._

_ "Then let's make each other happy."_

_ "I'll let you in on a secret, Luv- with you, I'm actually aiming for ecstatic."_

_ Vance put her head back on the pillow. An honorable man, a man of his word, she thought, a smile drenching her lips as other parts of her became equally drenched. "Oh, Darling. Ecstasy is a given."_


	15. Chapter 15

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's, particularly DLillith21 who wanted to see Spike and Joey's first meeting._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, RKM, Sarcastic Bunny, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XV

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXIX- XXX of Starting Over)

**Relationships**

_ After Vance's first visit as "pediatrician", she and Giles fell into a routine. Every month they met, if not more often, due to business taking Giles to London. If Vance flew out, she spent a long weekend, if Giles went to England, he spent a week. No one in their little family said anything about the noticeable arrangement and increasingly obvious closeness the couple shared. Not to their faces, anyway._

* * *

><p><em> "Alright Brooke, whaddya got for me?" Dawn called for her status report.<em>

_ "Dinner and a show at Covent Garden." Joey flipped his grilled cheese with one hand, cradling the phone with the other._

_ "Help me out with that." Dawn didn't know quite how to rate that particular date on her homemade dating scale._

_ "That'd be a ten, Luv." Joey sat down to his hastily prepared supper and leaned his head back on the sofa, which was covered by his needing to be put away stack of laundry. "Swank."_

_ "Okay, that's two tens in a row, 'cause when she was here, he took her to the city overnight and they stayed at the Four Seasons, a suite."_

_ "How'd you know that? Those two don't talk about the details."_

_ " No kidding. Willow hacked his credit card."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Well he wouldn't tell us! We just looked at the list of charges, that's all."_

_ "Lord, remind me to stay on your good side."_

_ "I thought I reminded you plenty." Dawn giggled. "Every time we talk is kinda a dead give away that you shouldn't piss me off, right?"_

_ "You've got a point." Joey smiled. She was teasing. Partially. Over the last few months they'd gotten to be friends. Real friends. They didn't call just to talk about the relationship they were trying to help nudge along or talk "shop". Sometimes they just talked about- well, nothing really. And they could talk about it for hours._

_ Dawn laughed with him. She wasn't trying to sound like a shrew, and she liked when she heard him chuckling, so she knew he got it. Plus, he had a really sexy laugh, deep and ripple-y. Dawn pushed her mega-crush away from the surface for a moment. "She'll be over here after New Year's, I think."_

_ "I'm surprised she's not coming for Christmas." Joey shook his head. _

_ "She said she lost the straw draw at the hospital."_

_ "She did, but I told her I'd take it. Noble thing, isn't she?"_

_ "Yeah. She's awesome. Ooh! So, I guess I need to get moving then, and get her present now since I have to ship it. I was thinking I'd get her a photo album and fill it with pictures of the babies, and the family, and then start working in some couple shots. Do you have photos of the two of you?"_

_ "Uh, someplace. Yeah, I got a couple."_

_ "Does she have some?"_

_ "I reckon."_

_ "Well, I want to put them in the album, too, even if she already has some. I want it to be her family, and you're a big part of that."_

_ "You're a sweetheart, you know that? I'll find mine and scan them in. You can print them off as photos on glossy paper, right?"_

_"__I __think __so.__" __Dawn __twirled __her __hair __absently ,__smiling __as __she __pictured __putting __together __a __family __album __for __Vance, __who _so _should __officially __be __in __the __family, __because __she __totally __fit __there, __like __a __missing __piece __of __a __puzzle.__ "__Does __she __have __anyone __else?__"_

_ "No. Not anymore. Her mum died four years ago, I guess it must be. I never met her, but she mentioned taking off the anniversary once, to go to the grave with fresh flowers."_

_ "Poor Vance. And poor Giles. He didn't have any family left. Of course- then we swarmed him." They both laughed to lighten the mood._

_ "Lucky man, I say."_

_ "You're just flattering me so I get you something extra special for Christmas." Dawn teased._

_ Joey__'__s __heart __skipped __a __beat. _She's givin' me a gift? Oh, man, this is better than I thought. Now I don't feel so stupid for fallin' in love with that silver bracelet in the window at Hancock's the last time I went home to visit the folks. Unless a bracelet is too much, too soon? _"__You __don__'__t __need __to __get __me __anything, __Dawn.__"_

_ "Duh, but I want to." She rolled her eyes. "But not until you hold up your end of the bargain and send those pictures, Buddy. I'm going to try to make one big care package, if I can get everyone organized."_

_ "Y'know, jus' from what I know about your people, I wouldn't have thought you'd be the lead organizer. No offense."_

_ "Oh, I'm not normally. But everyone else is either in parenting mode, or in Giles' case, head over heels in love. I'm just helping out with stuff." Dawn shrugged, speaking modestly._

_ "You do a damn fine job, sounds like."_

_ "Mmm, keep talking, I might throw in some homemade cookies in that Christmas package."_

_ "And she bakes! Oooh, be still my heart." Joey sighed dramatically. _

_"__You __might __not __want __to __jinx __yourself __like __that. __I__'__ve __never _actually _poisoned __anyone __with __my __cooking, __but...__"_

_ You're all talk, Summers. I bet you're a regular little Nigella."_

_ "Who?"_

_ "Never mind. Some cooking program goddess, if you listen to my mum."_

_ "So, you'll go home to Manchester for the holidays?" Dawn changed the subject slightly._

_ "Just overnight. If Vance takes Christmas, I'll take Boxing Day. That means we both get off an extra day after New Year's. The hospital doesn't have much in the way of funds, so they try to make up for it with time in terms of compensation."_

_ "Cool. Then she can stay an extra day here when she comes in January!" Dawn sounded genuinely excited._

_ "I know she will. That's where all her vacation time goes these days."_

_ Dawn nibbled her lip for a moment, working up her courage and trying to find a nice, non-pushy, sorta hint-y way to ask what she wanted to ask. "What about your extra time off? Do- do you have any?"_

_ "Oh, loads. I only took off a week and a day the entire time I worked here. A week to go to Devon and mess about with all the Watcher- Coven people, and that day I first met your dad. Never even had to take a day for hangover after a Man U. loss or when my team won our division. Vee always covers my shifts, and I cover hers. We save a lot of time up that way."_

_ "What are you going to do with all that time?"_

_ "Oh, I dunno." Joey wasn't sure if this was going where he thought it was, or if she was just making conversation. He couldn't tell what she was after half the time, and he bloody loved it. He'd thought he would hate it, thought Dawn'd take his head off when he was on the wrong track, but she never did. She snorted, called him a name, and he could always hear the laugh just under the surface, practically could hear her eyes rolling and feel her lips pursing. "I guess I could do a bit of travel. Or I could just spend some time in my old stomping grounds. My family is always after me to stop in for more than just a weekend."_

_ "Family is good. A-and travel is good." Dawn nudged._

_ "You know, I'd really like to meet you in person someday," Joey caved with a smiling sigh. "You have off between terms, Luv. You could always come here and I could show you Manchester. Know you've been to London and Devon, but you haven't been anywhere else, have you?"_

_ "Not Manchester, although I passed through a ton of places. But just passing through, no sight seeing. Have you been to the US?"_

_"__No.__" __Joey __admitted, __smile __bursting __out __at __full __wattage. __She _had _been __going __this __way, __good, __they__'__d __played __it __perfectly __together, __no __one __pushed, __everything __nice __an__' __easy...__ "__Yeah, __sometime __I__'__ll __have t__o __come __out __with __Vance. __Meet __you __lot.__"_

_ "Why don't you come this time?" Dawn sounded eager and she didn't care. "It'll be so much fun! Plus, I could finally see what you look like!"_

_ "Oi! I've sent you some snaps, you know what I look like."_

_ "Yeah, but I'd like to see what you look like when you aren't standing in a crowd of mud-covered rugby players or covered in red and white face paint wearing a giant white and red wig."_

_ "That was the world cup, Luv. Gotta show your colors."_

_ "Oh, geez, I know. When England went all the way, it was the only time I've ever seen Spike and Giles watch football and cheer or boo at the same time. They usually root for opposite teams out of habit. But when England's in the finals..."_

_ "Dreamin' of a Red an' White Christmas, that's us." Joey laughed._

_ "Okay, back to Christmas. Photos needed. Then I can see you without face paint or mud, and then- then I can see you in person after Christmas?"_

_ "Shouldn't you ask your family first? I should ask Vee if she minds if I tag along."_

_ "I'll ask, but as for you asking Vance, you know you don't need to. She keeps telling me that she asked you to fly over and be the 'attending physician'."_

_ "I know. An' I would- except if I did, she'd have to miss a month with Giles and no one wants that. Hey, he's my boss in a way now, plus, he's Vance's bloke. I guess I need to get him somethin'."_

_ "That'd be so nice, but you don't have to if you don't want to. He's so hard to shop for unless you know him or you hold him at vampire-point and force a list out of him. That's what we did this year." Dawn laughed._

_ "And what about you? You hard to shop for, Luv?"_

_ Dawn's heart did a little dance. "Nope. As long as you put thought into stuff, I like it. My family spoils me to death, because I was the baby for so long, plus, almost dying a lot, and them wanting me to have some perks for the risks, I guess." Dawn laughed over the seriousness. "This is the babies' first Christmas though, so we're going mega crazy over them. They're happy and healthy and all of us have someone now, so I have all the presents I need."_

_ Joey decided to ignore the "all of us have someone now" comment since he wasn't sure if she considered herself in that statement or not. "Those are all very intangible things, Sweetheart. You got anything in mind that a bloke could put a bow on?"_

_ "Surprise me." Dawn said with a mischievous hint in her tone._

_ "Surprise you? Whyn't you just ask me to gift wrap Wembly? It'd be easier."_

_ "That's a stadium, isn't it? And what are you saying? I'm hard to shop for? I just told you I'm not!"_

_ "No, but nothing surprises you."_

_ Dawn paused. A lot of stuff surprised her. Just from this one guy. How nothing seemed to phase him. He just heard whatever he heard, and worked with it. He said he wasn't brave, but he didn't act scared. He said he was just your average football fever bachelor, nothing special, no cares, free and easy, but here he was volunteering to cover Vance's shift at Christmas so she could spend time with people she loved. He called, he wrote, he - he cared. In a world where a lot of guys played fast and loose, this surprised her in a majorly good way._

_ "I wouldn't say that. You surprise me all the time." Dawn finally said softly._

_ "Me?" Joey sounded puzzled. "In a good way, yeah?"_

_ "In a very good way."_

_ "Oh, you're talking silly, Luv. I'm just ordinary an' you know it."_

_ "Ordinary people who step up and face the extraordinary always impress me, Joey."_

_ It __was __Joey__'__s __turn __to __pause. __How __about __that? __Seems __this __admiration __isn__'__t __all __one __sided, __and __that__'__s __the __way __it __has __to __be __to __make __anything __happen. _An' I want somethin' to happen with this one. Don't know if that's a one-sided thing, but we'll find out soon enough. _"__Ta__' __,__Beautiful. __I__'__ll __find __you __somethin__' __that __I __think __you__'__d __like.__"_

_ "If you come for a visit- I'd like that." She let her walls down more._

_ "In that case- you'd better go talk to that madhouse set you live with an' email me back."_

_ "I will. You start clearing your schedule and talk to Vance."_

_ "Will do. Sweet dreams, Dawn."_

_ "Back at ya. Well- when it's time for you to sleep, that is."_

_ Joey laughed. "I love that about you. Sleep tight, Beautiful."_

_ "Good night." She murmured, and listened to the soft click on the end of the line. _

_"Spiiiiiike! I need to talk to you! Oh, and practice looking really, really evil."_

_ Spike poked his head around the door. "You remember my hearin' is about a hundred times better than yours, right? Don't yell. Why am I lookin' more evil than my normal badass self?"_

_ "I think Joey's ready for the acid test. Or in our case, the fang test."_

_ Spike slid into a game face snarl that Dawn had never seen. Cold, and vicious and absolutely ravenous. "Goody." Spike winked one burning yellow eye. _

_ "You're gonna make him faint like that!" Dawn stood up from her bed and approached him. "What's up with this?" She gingerly touched his ridges._

_ "Claimed. Slayer strength inside. If I wanna pull this out, I can. Demon's well trained but he still likes to show off. Is it too much?"_

_ Dawn considered. "Nope." She smirked. "If he can't handle you, who he knows is one of the good guys, he's not gonna handle the baddies, and if he's not braving it out for me- well- I guess I don't need him." She hated that thought. "Do your worst."_

_ "With pleasure. My brotherly duty." Spike snarled again._

_ "I will never understand how Buffy can find that attractive." Dawn mumbled._

_ "Find what attractive?" Buffy poked her head in as well. "We're going to be late- oooh. Someone pulled out the big guns." Buffy went instantly to Spike's arms._

_ "That's right, Kitten. All the big bad for you."_

_ "No, no, no! Not in here, take it to your room. Or outside, but not in here! You're late, you don't have time for stuff." Dawn waved the couple out before they could begin to embrace._

_ Buffy pouted. "It's still Spike. Of course I think he's sexy like this. C'mon, Honey." She flounced and tugged Spike away._

_ "Sorry! I didn't mean to sound rude." Dawn called after them. "Have a safe patrol. Don't get hurt." She shut her door. "Or arrested for public nudity." She muttered under her breath._

_ "Heard that!" Spike called._

_ Dawn sighed and lay back on her bed, no longer voicing her thoughts out loud. She couldn't blame them really. It must be nice to be so completely in love, and so into each other even after a couple years of marriage and a baby. To find your husband so hot, no matter what he looked like, handsome or grotesque. _

Because they're just perfect together. Something inside fits... _Dawn __felt __a __sharp __twist __in __her __stomach, __mind __focusing __on __a __certain __British __voice, __calling __her __beautiful, __wishing __her __sweet __dreams._ I wonder if I'll ever have someone I love like that- who loves me back in the same way? Well, I won't know unless I try..._Dawn __pulled __open __her __laptop __and __pulled __up __a __search __engine. _What to get a rabid football fan, doctor, who I have a huge crush on who I think likes me, too, who even if he doesn't, I really want to be friends with and who my family needs- for Christmas? Oh God. That's too long of a search term, anyway, besides making no sense. _With __a __sigh, __she __shut __her __laptop __and __closed __her __eyes. __She __decided __to __grill __Vance __and __not __stress. __After __all- __he __was __just __a __friend. __For __now..._

* * *

><p><em> "Vee?"<em>

_ "Joseph?"_

_ "Lord, my full name? What's wrong?" Joey slid into their shared office and out of his mac, shaking rain from his hair._

_"__Mrs. __Bevins__'__s __episiotomy __is __infected __because __the __nitwit __tried __to __put __her __piercing __back __in __before __it __healed_ and _it__'__s __raining _and _I __have __no __idea __what __to __get __Giles __for __Christmas.__" __Vance __rattled __off.__She __typed __furiously __and __hit __send-__then__blushed.__ "__And __all __he __wants __is __completely __unmentionable __and __unwrappable.__"_

_ "Please don't lets go lingerie shopping again." Joey groaned._

_ "That was your idea and you didn't actually set foot in the place, Brooke."_

_ "Bloody hell, it's Brooke now?"_

_ Vee sighed and slid off her glasses. "It's our first Christmas together, and we're apart. All he wants is me, and I took the straw again."_

_"__You __should __let __me __take __it, __Luv, __no __matter. __My __mum __won__'__t __mind.__" __Joey __lied __easily. __His __mum __would __skin __him __if __she __found __out __he _volunteered _to __work __Christmas._

_ "Your mother would stuff you and serve you beside the turkey, Joey."_

_ "Nah." Joey grinned, relieved to be back to Joey again._

_ "I hope he doesn't think I'm toying with him." Vance twisted a strand of curling brown hair around her finger._

_ "If he has a brain in his head, which he does, he'll never even dream it."_

_ Vance smiled briefly, then looked at her new screen saver. She and Giles were sitting in his living room, eating something apparently, because they both looked like they had chipmunk cheeks. It wasn't romantic or showing her handsome lover off to the best advantage- but it was the real them, the real family air she craved, and so silly it always made her smile. "What should I get him, Joey?"_

_ "Well-" Joey worded this cautiously. "How about an IOU for a long weekend with just you, after New Year's?"_

_ "I'm flying out to see the little ones, and I-"_

_ "And I can come too. I'll be the doc,an' you be the girlfriend. How's that?"_

_ "I still want to see all of them, but- but that'd be lovely. Oh, thank you, you brilliant boy." Vance stood up and hugged him suddenly. " I'll print up some little certificate on the computer. Oh, Joey darling, will you help with that?"_

_ "Of course. Don't want another incident like last Guy Fawkes when you made 400 labor and delivery health and safety reports with the pretty boarder of fireworks."_

_ "You swore not to mention that." Vance glared. Then laughed. "I'm getting better at technology, of course. But I do want it to look ever so special for him." She sighed, aware she sounded like a swooning young girl._

_ "We'll make it gorgeous." Joey patted her back, happy to see her happy, fully happy, light shining in her usually opaque gray irises. _

_ "Thanks. Well, I better go attend to Mrs. Bevins." Vance rolled her eyes. "Help me after work, if we both get off near the actual end of shift?"_

_ "Promise." Joey paused and then coughed for her attention right before she dashed from the office, arms full of charts and heels clicking in a businesslike way. "Vance?"_

_ "Hmm?" She poked her head around the stack she carried._

_ "You serious about this bloke?"_

_ Vance paused. "I- I suppose I am."_

_ Joey paused again, then nodded. "I'm glad to hear that. Do you- have you ever told him about-"_

_ "No." Vance's voice sliced through the air and cut his words dead. Joey's eyes looked surprised and mildly indignant at the ice in her tone and she softened. "No. I have not." Her friend said nothing, simply stared in knowing silence. "I will though. Someday." She cleared her throat and clutched her papers more tightly._

_ "Do it soon, Vee."_

_ Vance paused, eyes drifting far away, filling with pain. "Someday. When- when it doesn't hurt quite so much." She whispered and swept from the cluttered room._

_ Joey stared after her. "It'll keep hurtin' 'til you bury it, Luv." He sighed to himself and privately vowed not to carry anything so painful for so long if he could avoid it. And he figured there wasn't anything half so painful as losing the chance you wished you'd taken. Glancing at his watch he made a snap decision and pulled his cell phone from his trouser pocket._

_ "Good morning, Hancock's." A cheerful voice answered._

_ "Mornin'. Listen, I was passin' the shop a few weeks ago- there was a silver bracelet there in the window. Dangling bits on it?"_

_ "Yes, Sir, our line of charm bracelets?"_

_ "Yeah, that'd be it. I guess. Erm. Listen, do you have any left?"_

_ "Yes, Sir, we have several in stock."_

_ "Do you ship?"_

_ "Anywhere in the E.U. , Sir."_

_ "I only want it sent to my flat in London, so that's alright. Wrap one up an' send it to -"_

_ "Sir, are you aware the charms are extra?"_

_ "Why are the bloody charms extra, it's a charm bracelet, init?"_

_ "The charms are an additional 15 pounds each, Sir."_

_ "Bloody robber barons." Joey muttered. "What charms do you have, then?"_

_ "We have over fifty different charms in stock to choose from and we have another hundred or so you can order from our catalog. Perhaps if you'd like to come in to the store-"_

_ "I'm sorry, I can't. I need to get it an' get it shipped to the states in time to arrive on Christmas day." He raked his short hair into a riot of tufted curls. "D'you have a book charm?"_

_ "Yes. We have an open and a closed one."_

_ "Gimme the open one. No, both. An'- an' a baby boy and baby girl?"_

_ "We have a blue infant footprint and one in pink."_

_ "Throw those on. For her niece an' nephew, see, 'cause they're important to her, an' kind of how we met."_

_ "How sweet, Sir. We can put on an American flag if you'd like, since she resides in the states."_

_ "Do me one of those, an' a Union Jack, an'- an'a football. So's she'll always think of me when she wears it." Joey found his accent thickening the more he talked to someone from his hometown, and felt himself relaxing. He was half tempted to ask them to put on a Man. U charm if they had it, and maybe a pint mug. He restrained himself with an effort. "That's quite a bit on there. Is it full?"_

_ "Not yet, Sir. Eight charms is the standard number of catches. You can leave two empty so she can choose some to add. Lots of women like that."_

_ "But this is for me to show her I know her. Surprise her. That I pay attention. That I-" Joey shook his head. He was rapidly tuning into a gossipy granny. "Never mind. D'you have a sun?"_

_ "A sun?"_

_ "As in the shiny thing in the sky." He clarified. _

_ "Ah, yes, we have a sunshine."_

_ "One of those, for Dawn." He grinned foolishly to himself. "An'- an' a heart. A little silver heart."_

_ "The most popular item, Sir. Excellent choices."_

_ "Think she'll like it?"_

_ "Hell, yes, I would." The voice had suddenly became completely unprofessional and Joey chuckled. The first time he'd ever bought a woman jewelry that wasn't his mother or Vance, and he'd felt rather nervous about the obvious implications._

_ "Good. Parcel it up an' I'll give you the address an' a card number."_

* * *

><p><em> "Willow, is there some kind of anti-aging spell you can teach me?" Dawn asked the next evening as they sat at the table.<em>

_ "Honey, you're so young! Is someone making you feel like you need to look different?" Willow dropped her fork and took Dawn's hand._

_ "Because if they are, I'll smack their eyes in properly, so they can see better." Spike threatened around a mouthful of mashed potatoes._

_ "This obsession with youth is getting out of hand. Look at Vance, who's over thirty, but genuinely attractive. Yes, now, there's a truly beautiful woman and I happen to know she doesn't use an extraneous amount of make up or cosmetic solutions to achieve it." Giles said hotly._

_ "Pay up, Xander." Buffy stuck out her hand and Xander slid a five into it._

_ "Now what?" Giles looked between them._

_ "Five bucks said you couldn't go ten minutes without mentioning her name."_

_ "You were so close." Xander grinned. "But it's money well spent. She's a very good role model. Stepmommy dearest, right guys?" Laughter ran around the room while Giles became very interested in his meatloaf and Dawn rolled her eyes. _

_ "I'm not talking about anti-aging me, I'm talking about anti-aging some cookies. I'm sending a Christmas package to our British buddies and I don't want the cookies I make to get stale."_

_"__Ohh,_that _kind __of __anti-aging.__" __Willow __nodded __exuberantly __in __understanding.__ "__No __problem, __Dawnie.__"_

_ "You're baking for this boy?" Spike cast a knowing look at Dawn, who found herself coloring brightly._

_ "And Vance! I'm making things for both of them! Oh- which reminds me, I'll send the package, but that means all of you have to have your stuff to me on Sunday night 'cause I'll got to the campus post office first thing Monday morning."_

_ The table broke out into a flurry of conversation, which Giles seemed strangely quiet in the midst of._

_ "What's wrong, Dad- Man?" Buffy leaned over and whispered. _

_ "Nothing. At all." He said hastily, not looking at her fully._

_ "It so is. And you can't do that to me anymore. I know you like a person- person, Giles, no more just this watcher-slayer, stuff. Don't you want to get Vance something?"_

_ "I want to get her everything, Buffy." He replied, sipping his water slowly. "But-" He shrugged. "I don't want to appear forceful in my attentions." His smile reemerged, blindingly happy and relaxed. "After all, it's going so marvelously." _

_ "Seriously? I mean, are you serious? Is this serious marvelousness?" Buffy gave up and figured he'd know what she meant._

_ He did. "I'm very serious about Vance. The question is, can Vance love me when she finds out about the not so savory side of my past? Obviously she doesn't mind the danger- although she's not in the thick of it so she could easily change her mind if she- if she ever spent an extended period of time here. But the things I willingly did..."_

_ "She'll love you no matter what. Besides-" Buffy winked at him, "Good girls usually have a thing for bad boys."_

_ "Ain't that the truth." Xander mumbled as he overheard, and Spike kicked him under the table. "Dude! Did you seriously just kick me in the shins? Are you three years old?"_

_ "Don't disrespect my wife's opinions. 'Specially not on something she clearly knows so much about." He leaned over and rested his cheek to Buffy's. "Know all about the big bads an' the bad boys, don't you Kitten?"_

_ "Dear Lord, is nothing private in this house?" Giles rose in agitation._

_ "Nope. Not a thing." Dawn sighed. "Oh- and Buffy- what's that mean about me? I'm not exactly good- or bad. What's supposed to work for me?"_

_ "You're like me, Niblet." Spike answered quickly, as Buffy just looked uncertain. "Bit of a devil inside but thoroughly pure of heart. You want someone good- wholly good- but who's not afraid to be a hardcore hellcat if necessary."_

_ "I'm a hardcore hellcat?" Buffy looked disbelieving. Inside her head, through their bond, Spike silently warned, 'Don't make me show 'em the bite marks, Luv.' and Buffy blushed._

_ "Oh man. They're sex broadcasting again." Xander sighed and stood up as well. "Giles, Vance will love you no matter what you tell her, no matter what you did that was not so good and pure. That's just how love works." He cast a deep, lingering glance over Willow, who blushed and cleared her throat._

_ "Yeah. I mean- all of us have spots in our past we wish we didn't. Vance is smart. A-and that bad boy thing? Totally a turn on." She fled to the kitchen after a glance and her rugged looking spouse._

_ Spike looked at Xander in disbelief. "I don't see it in you, mate."_

_ "I'm a man of many mysteries." Xander said grandiosely- right before he stood up and revealed he had one of Tanya's pink flowered burp cloths tucked into his pants and a daffodil patterned pacifier clipped to his shirt. _

_ "Real mysterious." Spike goaded._

_ "Spike?" Dawn looked at him hard._

_ "Bit?" Spike looked over at her in surprise._

_ "I wouldn't get high and mighty about that. You left your duster on top of my book bag again- you have teething rings and a bottle in the same pocket as your flask and wad of baby wipes in with your crossbow."_

_ "William likes to snuggle up in my coat, it's warm!" Spike defended himself. Xander pointed at him and laughed. Insults, all good natured, began to fly. _

_ Giles sat back and considered the scene. If Vance loved all this madness, with a vampire, a witch, a slayer, a demon hunter, and two watchers-slash-everything else necessaries- well, he supposed she might not reject him for his Ripper days. And he'd have to tell her sooner rather than later, because he was falling more deeply in love with her all the time._

* * *

><p>"Essie?" Sul's voice was drowsy.<p>

"What is it, Buddy?" Essie put down the novel she was reading to him.

"Is Dad coming in soon?"

"As soon as he finishes giving Lizzie her bottle."

" 'Kay." Sul blinked dreamily up her.

"Do you want me to keep reading?" She smiled and bit down a laugh. He looked just like a small, innocent version of Jim when his hair was back to its normal coloring.

"Uh-huh." Sul snuggled into his stepmother's side. " 'Til Dad gets here."

"You don't mind that I read to you sometimes? Without him?" Essie paused before opening the book again. Sul looked up at her, eyes suddenly livened, losing their sleepiness.

"No." He said hesitantly.

"Sulster?"

"Okay- a little. But I'm not jealous! I'm not jealous of Lizzie. I promise!" He sat up, speaking rapidly.

"Shh, shh, of course not. You love her. You wanted her before your Dad and I even started talking about having a little sister for you." Essie soothed. "If you don't want me to read to you- I mean without your Dad, I don't mind." Which was only half true. The first night she'd been the only one to tuck Sul in was about a couple months after Lizzie was born. Essie remembered just being beyond tired, and Jim taking over baby duty. He would never neglect Sul, he just wasn't ready to read to him yet.

Sul'd come in to the living room, book in hand, looked at Essie sprawled listlessly on the couch, heard his father singing to Lizzie upstairs and walked to her. "I guess you have to read both chapters." He said simply.

And Essie felt like someone had just recharged her batteries, heck, like someone'd just hooked her up to a turbine. Sul wanted her to read to him. Jim' sacred bedtime ritual, which she'd gratefully shared, was now about to be just hers and her little boy's for one special time. She'd read four chapters and never even known Jim had listened into the last chapter from the doorway, smiling so hard his face was about to crack.

Once turned into occasionally, on nights like tonight. Jim always came in to say goodnight, sometimes he just didn't read anymore. But he was always there.

Essie sat up higher on the bed, Sul going with her. "I know he wants to read to you and tuck you in. I'll take Lizzie Lizard and send him in."

"No. Stay." Sul tugged her wrist. "It's okay. Dad'll be here when he's done."

Essie paused. "It's good to have the two of you. You're so different, but- we wouldn't trade it for the world, having an almost grown up guy like you and a little drool machine like Lizzie."

Sul grinned. "I like having you and Dad, too. Although he does way better accents."

"Yeah, I know. I sound stupid when I do voices."

Sul appeared torn between politeness and honesty. "A little bit?" He said hesitantly.

Essie laughed. "Oh, Baby Boy," she sighed, "there's shifting around when there's a baby."

"That's okay. I like having a bigger family. Sometimes I just miss having both of you all to myself."

Essie swallowed. "You miss- having me- all to yourself?"

"Duh. You're my mo- my Essie." Sul tripped over the word "mom" as he found himself doing more and more.

"And you're my son. And Lizzie's my daughter- and you know what? I see no reason why we can't have bedtime stories in there with her."

"Lizzie likes Winnie the Pooh and Big Bird." Sul rolled his eyes. "I'm into Harry Potter and comic books."

"Well, your dad likes Star Trek and the Bears and I like ice skating and Billy Joel. We're a family. We'll suck it up and do what we're supposed to- be together."

"But- it's nine o'clock. Bed time."

"We'd better start earlier tomorrow night then. C'mon slow poke." Essie hopped off the bed and tugged his hand.

"Jim. We're invading the nursery. New family policy."

"Shhh! She's nodding off." Jim opened the door with one foot, little sandy haired bundle in his arms, wrapped in a pink sleeper with green frogs printed on it.

"Then story time will have to be quiet." Essie traded the book for the baby in one smooth motion, pecking his cheek.

Jim raised one eyebrow quizzically. "New policy, hm?"

"We missed you. And Lizard." Sul plopped down on the nursery rug in front of the rocker.

"I'm outvoted, Pipsqueak." Jim kissed Lizzie's drowsy head and helped Essie into the rocker. "Good thing I don't mind." He sat on the rug as well. "I say we do three chapters." He switched eyes sideways slightly, taking in Sul's reclining, maturing form. "After all- we've got three readers in the family, don't we?"

Sul looked at his father with a quick jerk of his head. "But- I like being read to."

"Okay, just a thought, Sul." Jim said quickly.

"It was a nice thought." Essie defended supportively, without sounding like she was critiquing Sul. In her arms, Lizzie stirred and shot out a chubby little fist in a sleepy stretch.

"Yeah... it is." Sul reached over and detached his book from Jim' hand. "Okay. I go first. And tomorrow- we read in my room."

"That sounds fair." Jim relinquished the book to his son.

"Good family policy- oh, and sometimes we should play the guitar. You know. Lullabies?"

"Lizzie has the best big brother in this whole universe." Essie grinned.

* * *

><p>Several weeks later...<p>

_"__So __Dawn __wants __you __to __do __the __scarily __possessive __big __brother __thing __and __pull __out __the __fangs __and __scare __the __crap __out __of __Dr. __Brooke?__" __Buffy __pushed __a __stake __into __a __vampire __as __Spike __neatly __flipped __another._

_"__Scare __the __crap __out __of __Joey. _Joey, _what __kind __of __a __name __is _Joey_, __sounds __like __a __soddin__' __infant __kangaroo.__"_

_"__You __are _not _jealous,__William __Summers. __I __mean-__William __Summers, __Sr. __Geez, __that__'__s __gonna __be __weird __when __he __starts __getting __mail.__" __Buffy __put __her __hands __on __her __hips._

_ "No, no, of course not." Spike cast a quick glance skyward. The sun was tingeing the sky light lavender instead of the dark of night. "Happy for her. If he's as good as Vance seems to think he is. An' Bit's no slouch. Good judge of character. She knew I was the right stuff before you lot did." Spike wrapped one arm around his wife, snuggling her up protectively in the early January chill._

_"__Technically, __you __weren__'__t__ '__the __right __stuff__' __then,__so__-__that __makes __her __judgement __calls __totally _not _good.__Oh __great. __I__'__m __starting __to __get __sister __anxiety, __now.__" __Buffy __rubbed __her __tummy. _

_ "Oi! I was good. Always been good... to Bit." Spike murmured._

_ "Yeah. You have." Buffy cocked her head, looking up at him. "Always will be. Doesn't mean - maybe- just y'know, with a tiny little slim possibility- that someone else can't be good to her." Buffy ran her hand protectively over the heart that didn't beat, but loved so ferociously. "And you're so good to all of us. William and me."_

_ " 'Course. You're my family. An' only another day 'til I meet the wanker who-"_

_ "Who helped Dawn and Willow deliver your son?" Buffy cut him off sharply, but playfully. _

_ "Oh. Yeah. Forgot that bit for a mo'." Spike looked suddenly abashed._

_ "He's got good taste in jewelry if Dawn's bracelet is anything to go by. And he looks out for Vance. He studies hard and apparently has a real fast hand with an epidural. All of the good."_

_ "Like it better if he had a fast hand with a stake or a crossbow..."_

_ "Give him time." Buffy unlocked the front door to their house. "William's with Xander. Place to ourselves." She turned and slipped her hands down the sleeves of his jacket with strong possessive fingers. "Got some time for your favorite Slayer? Ha- you know, now that's a real worry, since there aren't just one or two of us anymore."_

_ "Out of all the dozens, Luv, you're still m' favorite, an' let's not forget- the one,the only, the very near immortal original. And-" He flung her suddenly up across his chest, one arm sliding under her legs, "I've always got time for you." _

_ "Mmmm, make it quick though. Our unorthodox babysitting arrangement ends when the day begins."_

_ "It's barely light, Sweetlet." Spike swung her through their doorway and onto their bed. "Got a few hours."_

_ "That's quick for us." She giggled, wriggling out of her coat._

_ "Couple hours is quick, she says. God I love you, woman."_

* * *

><p>"Couple hours with Max, his wife, and Ellie and she's wired." Essie passed Lizzie from her car seat into Jim' hands. "Next time they come here."<p>

"Sulster. Sullivan." Jimmy shook Sul's shoulder and tried to rouse him. "Here, take Lizardkins back, I'm gonna get him. Two hours with that circus knocks him out, and wires her up. Oh, well, at least with the next one, we're bound to get two of the same."

"Next one?" Essie giggled. "Stop, not in front of the kids."

"Well-" Jim grunted slightly, shifting Sul into his arms as he groaned in his sleep, "this one's out and Liz doesn't understand yet, so..."

"Tell you what, Ab-alicious, you get her to go to sleep before_ I _crash, and we'll _play_." Essie licked her lips seductively.

Jim quickened his pace. "Daddy's pullin' out the big guns." He winked. "For both of my girls."

Essie took Lizzie to her room and dressed her for bed while Jim took care of the Sul. "Daddy better have some trick up his sleeve, 'cause those are real big wide awake eyes."She cooed to the baby.

In a few moments Jim came back in, acoustic guitar in hand, and a soft, mellow expression on his face. "For both my girls." He gave Essie a long look, and Lizzie a quick nuzzle, his nose to her tiny button one.

"Lullabies work on me? Jim, I thought you wanted me to stay awake." Essie teased.

"This one might very well put her to sleep, and make you- perky." Jim smirked in a very Spike like fashion and slid the strap over his shoulder. He stroked out a soft sequence of single notes and Essie practically melted.

"Billy Joel's _Lullaby_?" She whispered. Jim just winked at her.

_"Good night my angel, time to close your eyes_

_And save these questions for another day_

_I think I know what you've been asking me _

_I think you know what I've been trying to say_

_I promised I would never leave you_

_And you should always know_

_Where ever you may go_

_No matter where you are_

_I never will be far away"_

Essie watched Lizzie's eyes droop and her breathing even out as Jim' voice, soft and husky, worked his two fold spell. When the song was done, she slipped Lizzie soundlessly into her crib and they left the room, hand in hand.

"Wow." Essie leaned on him.

"He's one of your favorites. Figured it might work." Jim smiled at her.

"You played Billy Joel the night you proposed." She reminded him.

"Yep."

"Jim- how do you still do that?"

"Do what, Honey?"

"Make me fall in love with you more and more?"

"What'd the man say, Ess? Save the questions for another day?"

"He also told me to close my eyes, you don't want me to do that, do you?" Essie challenged as they entered their own room.

"Point taken. I think-" Jim put the guitar on the small love seat in the corner, then sat on the bed, pulling Essie with him, her knees straddling his lap as he looked lovingly up at her, "as we're studying the wisdom of Mr. Joel, the song also says that I will never leave you- which is true." Jim stared into her eyes.

"I know." She breathed, starting to lean down to him.

"So you've got to love me more and more all the time, and I have to love you more and more. Otherwise forever'd be I could never be bored with you, Ess."

"We're more in more in love because we have to build up to a forever's worth?"

"If you didn't love me anymore than you did after three years, wouldn't thirty years seem sort of lack luster?"

"Smarty."

"Blame Billy."

Essie tipped him back onto the bed, now lightly straddling his muscular torso. "I think I just can't help it."

"Mmm, I think-" Jim slid his hands up her shirt, cupping her soft, sensitive breasts, careful not to squeeze too hard, "that it doesn't matter, as long as it's true."

"It's very true. I love you more and more all the time, Jim." She sat up suddenly and gave him a saucy pout. "You okay with that?"

"Oh, so very okay..." Jim grinned back up at her, and fell just a little deeper.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Do __I __look __okay? __Should __I __go __to __the __airport __with __Giles? __No, __no, __I __should __stay __here. __I __want __Spike __to __check __him __out __first __in __person.__ '__Cause __if __he __can__'__t __get __past __Spike, __I __don__'__t __want __him. __Not __that __I __want __him, __want __him. __Oh __my __God-__"_

_"__Oh __my __God __is __right, __you __sound __like __Buffster.__" __Xander __put __a __calming __hand __on __each __shoulder. __"__Dawnie -__Giles __isn__'__t __leaving __for __an __hour, __then __Joey __and __Vance __have __to __clear __security.__You __have __time __to __go __wig __and __primp __before __they __get __here. __We _all _want __to __meet __him-__although __he __didn__'__t __send __me __an __oh __so __stylish __bracelet...__"_

_ "Yes it was a lovely and thoughtful gift he sent. What'd you give young Brooke again?" Giles entered the Rosenburg-Harris kitchen, chewing on his glasses stem, amusement in his voice, trying to pretend that he himself wasn't ready to giggle and prattle giddily at the thought of four glorious days with Vance on light duty._

_ "A journal. A nice one! I choked, okay?" Dawn said defensively, flinging out her hand and smacking Willow as she whisked a bowlful of scrambled eggs. Willow yelped and splattered yellow foam all over herself and Dawn's shoulder and face. "Wills! I'm so sorry." Dawn gasped._

_ "It's okay, Tanya spits up on me more than this." Willow laughed it off. _

_ "Erggh! I have eggy goop in my hair! I have it on my hair and my new red sweater that Buffy gave me that cost waaay too much money and is dry clean only. Oh God, I wore it for him, because- you know- red. Manchester- red's his favorite color and-" Dawn stopped speaking abruptly and gave the occupants of the room a look of intense disappointment. "I do sound like Buffy. Not a good sign. I am going to go shower. Giles- tell Joey I'll see him when he gets here. And uh- don't get so caught up in talking with the Brits that you drive on the wrong side of the road." Dawn marched from the room, holding her head to one side._

_ "Do you want me to drop him off at your place, or will you meet up with us at my place?" Giles called after her retreating figure._

_ "Our house." Dawn replied airily and started running, muttering "ew, ew, ew, ew" as she trotted away._

_ Spike was opening the laundry room door when Dawn hurtled into him, red sweater peeling off and still saying "ew" every other second in a disgusted tone as egg dripped down her face. "Bit, what's the- oh, bloody hell, bloody hell, Niblet put on something, you-you can't walk about like that, there's rules about- about exposed pieces of- of girly parts hanging out!"_

_ "Joey's coming and I wore this sweater specially for him." She grumbled rolling her eyes. "Oh, and grow up. The dorms are like giant nudist camps with microwavable popcorn, beerpong, and text books. And you- and Buffy? Every time the phone rings during your patrol I have two thoughts- one, are they okay?, two- did they finally have sex so obviously in public that someone had to report it?"_

_ "Well- that's -" Spike turned his back resolutely and stared at the ceiling for good measure. The rest of Dawn's clothes hurled past him into the washer. "Now what?"_

_ "Joey will be here soon and-"_

_ "And you're undressin' now? Can't we have supper first? I thought I was goin' to do my fear of hell an' big brother vamp routine? An' I'm very liberated an' all, but shouldn't you two catch a show or a even a bloody hamburger before hittin' the sack?" If he had time to listen to himself, he'd be aware of his absolute idiotic rambling and know Dawn was the least likely to jump into bed with a boy, but the clothing removal had rattled him severely._

_ "Shut up, Spike, I got eggs thrown on me- my fault, don't ask- I need a shower and I need to let my hair dry, redo my make up, and find another outfit that says 'I like you, and I want to know you better, and welcome to the madhouse'." Dawn scurried past in her bra and underwear, heading to the bathroom._

_ "Ah. Ah, right." Spike carefully kept turning to avoid the sight of her. "Uh, yes. Oh, Dawn?"_

_ "What?" Dawn popped her head through the door, one side of her face plastered with hair and yellow washed out looking stuff beginning to dry._

_ "You seem awfully keen on him lately." _

_ Dawn paused a moment, mind casting back to Christmas Eve, when her gift package arrived. She called him, squealing when she opened it, exclaiming at each charm. She guessed all of them right away, she recalled, rattling off," A blue footprint for William, pink for Tanya, the books for her Watcher duties- and 'cause she helped him study, the flags for him and her, the sun for her name, and then the heart- she fumbled. It comes standard, right? And Joey's laughing response, quiet, maybe a little nervy, but overall charming. "No, Luv. It was awful popular, yeah, but- got it for you. Thought you'd like it. Surprise you, you said. You surprised?" She was. She was more than that- she was happy._

_ "Niblet? Niblet?" Spike snapped his fingers._

_ "Huh?" Dawn blinked, and then winced as the stuff on her face dried and clung to her eyelid._

_ "You seem awfully keen on him lately." Spike repeated._

_ "Oh. I guess- I am."_

_ "You want me to go easy on him?" Spike asked with a small, fraternal smile._

_ Dawn gaped at him. "Hell no! Go full 'bat-shaggin'' crazy', to use one of your stupid phrases. I really like him. Which means-" She shrugged with a slightly insecure smile that Spike hadn't seen since she was fifteen, "that I've kinda got my guard down sometimes."_

_ "You? Never, Bit, never." He smiled encouragingly. "But I get you. Don't worry. Spike'll sort him."_

_ "No holds barred- well- no biting- but other than that..." Her smile changed to conspiratorial._

_ "Got it." Spike slipped into the more grotesque vampire visage and smiled broadly- which in this case looked absolutely predatory. "Go scrub up. I'll take care of the good doctor."_

* * *

><p><em> "There's my darling doctor with my heart medication." Giles swooped Vance off her feet and spun, hungrily kissing her, both of them pushing their glasses up as one, laughing like teenagers- and acting like them, Joey thought as he watched Giles run his hands lingeringly along Vance's rear. <em>

_ "Hm. Nice to see you." Joey, looking slightly green, shook Giles' hand as soon as he came up for air._

_ "And you. Thank you for cufflinks by the way." Giles had been surprised to see that he and Dawn had both received small velvet boxes from Joey in the Christmas care package that he and Vance had sent._

_ "No trouble, guv." Joey shouldered his bag and looked with approval as Giles tooK Vance's. "Thanks for that book. The um- the um Translation of the Great Demonic Index- thing."_

_ "Translation Index of the Seven Hundred Most Used Demonic Phrases. Dawn recommended it, if I'm truthful."_

_ Joey's greenish hue lessened slightly at the mention of Dawn's name. He took notes in her journal whenever he found time to study."Oh. I love it, really- jus' havin' a bloody awful time readin' most of it."_

_ "I know, believe me. Especially pronunciations from the double and treble tongued demons- or the non-tongued demons." Giles lead them to the car, arm looped around Vance's waist body throbbing already, since it'd been so long since he touched her, inhaled her, felt her hair on his cheek. Speaking of cheeks- "Rough flight? You look a bit green."_

_ "Oh, no, that was the lunch on the plane, mate. I think the plastic spoon was more edible than the plasticine chicken they served."_

_ "Not to worry. Big family dinner tonight. All of us have- surprisingly- become very good cooks. Willow is an exceptional baker as well."_

_ "Right." Joey peered around as they reached the car and got in. As a city boy who'd spent his only extended periods away from home on board a ship or in the desert, he was amazed at the wide open areas and the ridges of pines that zoomed past the car. "See how this place got its name. Shame there's all that black magic runnin' through." He dropped his voice regretfully._

_ "Yes, well, we're just the fountainhead unfortunately. All the evil trickles down."_

_ "So in the three years you've been here- is the locus line gettin' less evil?"_

_ "No." Giles looked grim for a minute and Joey kicked himself for bringing up business of the non-pediatric sort. "No, the source will take a long time to 'cleanse' as it were. But we've greatly reduced the number of deaths, attacks, and unexplained disasters. We stop it here, and it doesn't flow into the other metropolises. I hear the four cities running on our line are beginning to show improvement as well. A-and as the Slayers that were empowered reach sixteen, we'll be contacting them and begin their training. Soon we'll have hundreds of Slayers, for all the big cities and the Hellmouths, and the magical hot spots." Giles cast an eye to the rearview mirror, sizing up Joey. "We'll certainly need more permanent staff in the next few years, that's for certain. Medics certainly will be on the list of those we'll consider adding to a team- provided they help with other areas like research or patrol."_

_ "Like Dawn an' yourself. You don't jus' watch, you go out, get your hands in it." Joey's mind fixed on Dawn's face in his mind's eye. Any minute he'd meet her. Would she be the handshake sort? Hugging sort? Would he even get near enough for either without getting bitten or slain by her family members. He'd been doing a lot of reading about vampires lately, and in spite of Vance's constant praises of Spike as a loving and devoted father and husband, all the vampires he'd heard of were violent killers. If Dawn loved him, he'd give him a chance. But if he loved Dawn- well, couldn't be all bad, could he?_

_ "Yes, Dawn and myself certainly do have our work cut out around here." Giles wasn't aware of Joey's mental departure. "But my family has generously arranged to take my shifts at patrolling for a few days, so I can take full advantage of my- erm- gift certificate." Giles loved his homemade gift voucher for a fairly undisturbed weekend with Vance. And he felt fairly confident that Joey wouldn't worry too much over how he and Vance were occupied, not once Dawn got hold of him. Poor lad. Talk about baptism by fire... Still, that meant the champagne and strawberries were going to remain private treats for him and his ladylove._

_ Vance looked at both of the men in her life, as she considered them. Both appeared to be trailing off into exclusive worlds, dreamily silent. "Joey, where are you staying?"_

_ "Uh? Oh, Dawn's - The Summers' that is."_

_ Giles resurfaced. "Right. We'll drop you off there to get your luggage sorted out. Then we'll all meet up. I'm not sure where yet, but all the houses are within walking distance. Less, actually. Spike and Buffy live next door to Xander and Willow. There's talk of them building a covered passageway between the back porches, so Spike can walk- well, so we all can walk- back and forth more easily."_

_ "That's such a lovely idea. Such a close knit family." Vance murmured happily._

_ "You have to be close when you've nothing else." Giles replied unsmilingly. Then he caught sight of his beloved's face and reached out to take her hand. "It's wonderful to have more than that these days."_

_ Joey smiled and tried not to stare. He returned to happy thoughts of finally meeting the girl who was rapidly becoming his best mate if nothing else, and feeling content that Giles really did seem to be the genuine article, treating Vance like a lady and a lover at the same time. He wondered if he'd ever be able to pull that off. Or if he'd ever be able to think of Dawn, with her "in your face" attitude, as a demure lady. _

_ "Here we are. I'll just open the boot and we'll go in. I'm sure Dawn is anxious to see her pen-friend."_

_ "Lookin' forward to meetin' her in person. All of you, I mean." Joey covered, and hopped from the car, palms suddenly going sweaty. He smoothed his unruly short curls down and wondered for the twelfth time if a sweater and jeans was suitable attire for meeting some of the most powerful people in the world. Vance was wearing that, but they already loved her. After all, who wouldn't love Vee?_

* * *

><p><em> "The car's pulling up! Where's Spike? Spike!" Buffy called through the house, William cradled to her hip.<em>

_ "Never mind Clorox, where's Dawnie?" Xander patted himself down to make sure he had no pacifiers or baby toys hanging off him and put a sleeping Tanya down in the living room playpen she and William shared._

_ "She can't still be fussing over her hair. She didn't take this long to get ready for her own graduation. I think." Buffy frowned. "Spike?" She caught a vibe from him, angry, feral, hunting. "Spike?" Her tone became puzzled._

_ "Never mind, this is it, folks, the ambassadors from the good ol' U of K are here." Xander flung open the door. _

_ "Vance!" Willow rushed to the woman she really was beginning to wish was her own mother. Vance was smart and loved research and old books and medical advances- and she still managed to love her and realize people were people, not just DNA carriers, something she now doubted her biological parents realized._

_ "Oh, Willow, dear, so good to see you!" Vance embraced her with equal fervor, then Buffy, mindful of the pale boy on her hip who smiled soundlessly and stared back at her with his mother's eyes. " Buffy, William, oh look at my big boy!"_

_ "I'm Xander. I don't usually do the man-hug. Might by the time you leave, but not on the first date." Xander introduced himself to Joey with a handshake. _

_ "Fine by me." Joey instantly relaxed and managed not to stare, even though he'd seldom seen a person in an eye patch before. "Joseph Brooke. Joey."_

_ "Nice to meet you 'll stop cooing over each other in a minute and notice you." With a jerk of his head towards the hugging, squealing tangle on the front porch, he led Joey past the gaggle of women and into the Summers' house. "Dawn's just preening, she'll be right down. And Spike's someplace. He can't do the whole 'out of doors' thing at this sunny hour, so..." Xander shrugged and led him farther inside. "Dawnster! Spike! Company!"_

_ Joey__'__s __eyes __took __in __the __place. __It __could __be __anybody__'__s __house, __kids__' __toys __on __the __floor, __family __pictures __everywhere, __keys __and __purses __tossed __on __top __of __a __hallway __shelf __along __with- __holy __water, __two __stakes, __a __crossbow, __and s__omething __he __didn__'__t __recognize. __Okay, __so _not _just __anybody__'__s __house. __But __it __didn__'__t __matter,__ '__cause __any __minute __that __girl __with __the __sexy __smile __and __the __hair __he __dreamed __about __tangling __his __fingers __in __was __gonna __come __down __the __stairs __an__'__...__He __sighed __inside, __heart __swelling._

* * *

><p><em> Spike waited, waited, waited until the boy was close enough to the door. And he heard his heart ticking away, smelled the pheromones on him. Thinkin' about his sweet, virginal Dawn- well- okay, Bit was sweet in a stubborn as hell way, and virginal- well she was a virgin, didn't mean she was all innocent. More reason for this boy to keep it in his trousers, no rushin' his girl into acting on impulses she was new to feeling.<em>

_ Spike snarled and vamped as fully as possible, calling all the slayer strength he shared, all the brotherly love he possessed to the front and channeled it into protecting his girl, and by extension his family._

_ The unearthly bellowing roar came out of nowhere, just like the monster that tackled him. Joey felt the ground rush from under his feet and then sting back at him as he was dragged down, through a door, down one small flight of stairs, then crashed to a small landing, and down another flight. Upstairs he heard screams and shouts._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn heard the shouts from the second floor. Showtime. "Hi guys!" She said brightly, trotting down the steps.<em>

_ "Not a good time. Spike just lost his mind." Xander prepared to break down the basement door. _

_ "Xan, stop, I'll do it." Buffy rushed forward, preparing to kick, all the while screaming for Spike through their claim. Dawn's hands caught her ankle and knocked her a little off balance. _

_ "This is only a test." Dawn smiled. "No one touch the door."_

_ "Giles, I told him Spike was kind and a family man and this- this-"Vance sputtered angrily. "This won't do." She gestured vehemently to the door._

_ "I'd no idea, Luv. I certainly expected Spike to try to be a bit intimidating but-"_

_ "But he's going all undead Godfather on the guy." Xander supplied._

_ "Think of it as every single stupid bitchy test I could put a guy through to see if he's good enough for me wrapped into one, and think about whether Joey'd rather have that, or Spike's little brotherly interrogation." _

_ There was a beat, and then the entire Pine Ridge clan nodded and exchanged knowing looks and backed away. Vance looked shocked. Giles put a soothing arm around her. "He won't get hurt, Darling, I promise. And trust me-" Giles exchanged a smirk with Dawn, who waited with crossed arms and an intense gaze, "this is kinder by far."_

* * *

><p><em> Joey <em>_finally __got __his __breath __back. __This __bloke __would __be __a __hell __of __a __rugby __tackle. __Another __growl __split __the __air __and __instinct __took __over._Get free, you're in a scrum gone wrong, use your elbows, get him down, use your elbows, Brooke.

_ Spike was glad he didn't scream. That seemed a point in his favor. Of course, if he had any brains at all, he'd have figured out who his assailant was._

_ This had to be Spike. So that roar could come out of a vampire- impressive. And bloody scary. Joey thrust back and used a couple moves from basic training and a whole lot of rugby brute force to at least get turned to face Spike, though he wasn't free. And he almost immediately wished he hadn't. If the contents of his airplane meal hadn't been so rubbery he was sure they'd have just done an involuntary exit. _

_ Still got it, Spike inwardly preened when he watched the face before him pale and the eyes widen, mouth slacken. But, wait, that was not good. Dawn needed someone who wasn't going to chicken out in front of a vampire. He was tempted to revert to human features for a moment, give the boy a breather, but realized Dawn would absolutely dust him if she ever found out he did that. "Hullo, Doctor."_

_ How the hell can something that evil and grotesque have fathered the little bouncing baby upstairs? No, no, look behind the mask, remember, Vance says demons aren't all bad. "Hi. Nice way to greet your guests." Joey managed to choke out, with Spike shoving him hard into the white painted wall of the basement._

_ "Ooh, boy's got a set of stones does he?" Spike liked that, but also didn't, in his curiously conflicted way. _

_ "Enough to look after your son, mate, if that's what you're worryin' about." Oh bloody convincing, his voice was wavering like a flame in hurricane. _

_ Spike's brow ridge lifted slightly. "Oh, doctor thinks he knows me." He laughed coldly. _

_ Joey tried to keep his breathing regular, if shallow. "Know you like Manchester."_

_ "Yeah, tells me you've got eyes." Spike gestured to the red and white banner that dominated "his side" of the training room, along with posters of The Clash, The Ramones, and The Sex Pistols. "I s'pose you'll also be tellin' me I like good music next."_

_"__No, __never __call __that __crap __good __music.__" __Joey __wheezed. __He __immediately __made __a __mental __note __to __himself __as __the __hardwood __floor __rushed __up __to __meet __his __back __and __Spike __pinned __him __with __a __fangy __snarl. _Things to remember Brooke- Always check that the safety is on. Always check the Autoclave is off. And it's real big mistake to piss off a vampire who already seems to hate your guts.

_ "Big mouth you're wearin'. Matches the rest of you I s'pose." Spike looked him over. Dawn, all fine boned and long limbed was fancyin' this broad shouldered, big boned boyish boy? Although it was a handsome face. And intelligent. Just- pleasant. Like he'd try to smile in a minute, in spite of the razor sharp teeth comin' at him. "Anything else you want to say?" _

_ Joey __forced __the __panic __out __of __him._This is Dawn's brother. This is someone who helped bring Vance and Giles together. Someone I should try to like, even if he's barkin' mad. So- talk to him like you would any other bloke. _"__Yeah. I __hear __you __hate __Tottenham.__"_

_ Spike relaxed his grip and looked at him curiously. "Yeah..." He said slowly. "You?"_

_ "Tossers." Joey shrugged._

_ "Giles loves 'em." Spike sat up._

_ "I know. Told him I didn't root for them. I'm a Man U. man."_

_ "Really?" Spike knew as much from Dawn._

_ "Yeah, only I'm not jumpin' on the bandwagon like the rest of the bloody world. I'm a real fan, I was raised in Manchester. That's my team by birthright." Joey said passionately._

_ "I agree. An' I've been a fan since 1901, so I figure even though I was born in London, over a century makes me a true fan."_

_ "Bloody hell, that's devotion." Joey's eyes were opened. Here was a worthy man, in spite of his circumstances. "Never wavered? Not even in the slump of 1930?"_

_ "I'm a devoted sort." Spike said drily. "But you know your history." His features relaxed and melted into the handsome face that Joey saw constantly on snapshots sent by Dawn or shown off by Vance. "I admit, I traveled the world a lot since my turnin', so it wasn't always easy to keep up, but they've always been my team. An' since the blessed invention of the premium ESPN channels and BBC America..." Spike stretched luxuriously. "I'm bloody well back where I should be."_

_ "Amen to that." Joey raised his hand from habit- then lowered it. "Sorry. Thought I- well, usually have a pint in that hand when I'm talkin' footie." He laughed sheepishly._

_ "Understandable. Oh, and we've got some good stuff. Proper beer, not this rabbit piss American stuff." Spike clapped him on the bag and rose. "Good to have you with us, Mate. We'll have that pint- but- not now. Bite Size wants to meet you."_

_ "Oh, the baby?"_

_ "No. Dawn." Spike's face transformed again. "Let me explain somethin' to you before I treat you as the gracious host I am. I love my girls. All I had in the world for a very hard few years. Dawn is something very special."_

_ "I agree." Joey said firmly._

_ "That's good. And let me tell you about vampires. We can smell everything. Hear everything. Sense everything. Your body broadcasts every dirty thought you have about my little sis."_

_ "I don't have dirty thoughts about Dawn." Joey said angrily, his own eyes suddenly snapping with fire, even if they didn't change color. He might sometimes think about her in a sexual way, fantasies crept in, even if you tried to warn 'em off. But he refused to think of it as dirty. His Dawn- ha, he just realized he's begun to think of her like that- would never take dirt from anyone, and he'd never want her to. "Dawn is incredible and she's my friend. She's not- not someone I'd think about in a disrespectful way." Joey's voice was threatening._

_ Spike smiled. "Good. Just what I need to hear. Oh, but should she try it on- givin' you the signals..." He trailed off suggestively. "I hope you won't disappoint her."_

_"__No __disrespect, __I __realize __you __love __her, __but __I __hope __you __don__'__t __think __I__'__m __gonna __fake __likin__' __her__ '__cause __it __makes _you _happy. __If __I__'__m __lucky __enough __that __Dawn __ever __sees __me __as __anything __besides __a __good __pal, __I__'__ll __be __more __than __happy __to __return __the __favor. __On __my __terms. __On __her __terms.__"_

_ Spike chuckled deeply. "Oh, man. You're sayin' all the right things."_

_ "Funny. I didn't know there was a list."_

_ "God, it's brilliant. I might not hate you." Spike's smile was genuine. "That's a big compliment, mate."_

_ "Bloody lovely."_

_ "One more thing-" Spike absently stroked his jaw, letting one finger accidentally on purpose hit his fangs, crimson dot swelling to the surface of a punctured fingertip. "Oh, that's just so easy to do. Forget how easy they cut sometimes." Spike lapped the blood quickly away and fixed Joey with a gimlet eyed stare. "You ever hurt my girl, heart, mind, or body- I'll drain you dry, cut you into little bitty pieces and use you to fertilize the lawn."_

_ "Wow. Evil meets suburbia." Joey laughed out of sudden sheer nerves._

_ Spike chuckled back, "Yeah-" his voice roughened. "I meant it though."_

_ Joey nodded, his own face becoming hard. "Tell you what, Spike. You give me a chance an' I'll show you I try my bloody best to make everyone happy. Dawn included. And if she ever lets me in..."_

_ Spike swatted his stupid poetic, lovelorn soul down, and it swatted him back. "Oh, I think that's highly likely." He said softly, face shifting once again._

_ "Then if I get let in, and I'm a damn fool an' I ruin it, or ever hurt her- you can beat me to a bloody pulp. Sound good?"_

_ "I think we could work with that." Spike paused, sizing the boy up, and then spoke in a tone of kind informativeness. "Just so you get it, I'm just the one tellin' you what I'll do- but the rest won't be too lovin' either if you hurt Dawn in any way." Spike gestured up the stairs. Joey shakily stepped in front of him, but kept turning back warily for the first few steps._

_ "Figured as much. But you can have first go at me if I screw up, how's that?"_

_ "Dead thoughtful of you, mate." Spike patted his shoulder as he came up behind him._

* * *

><p><em> Buffy flung open the door just as Joey reached for the knob. "Oh my God. Spike! You are the worst host in the world, I-I- I don't even know what to do to you. I should make you watch Martha Stewart marathons on the home decorating channel. I should- I should make you read the entire anger management section at the library! Joey- I am so, so, so sorry, I swear, he's not like that." Buffy shooed them out of the stairwell.<em>

_ "I am. When I've got a good reason." Spike drawled. _

_ "Apologize." Buffy demanded, hands on hips._

_ "I'm sorry." It was Dawn who spoke, appearing behind her sister._

_ Joey suddenly felt like all the mental terror and physical bruising he'd just received were well worth it. She was even more beautiful in person. And she was smiling at him. Just him._

_ "Dawnster, why should you apologize? You asking Spike to check out a- a guest- before meeting him is one thing, but-" Xander got cut off._

_ "I told him to go hardcore crazy ass vampire brother." Dawn interjected smoothly._

_ "He passed the acid test- the Spike test anyway, with flyin' colors, Bit." Spike gave his wife his best big pleading eyed stare. "Don't be mad, Luv, was just helpin' out Niblet..." He cozied up to her, and Buffy pouted at him, but her anger was dissolving. _

_ "I'm sorry. Test?" Joey latched onto the one pivotal word._

_ "Yeah. A test. I don't like to-" Dawn trailed off, suddenly realizing her entire family was standing there, watching them._

_ Willow saved the day. "Hey! Vance, come see Tanya. She's in the living room right, Xan? Uh- Dawnie, why don't you go show Joey where he can put his luggage."_

_ There was a chorus of very fake sounding agreement and then scattering, leaving Dawn to show Joey up the stairs. "Test?" Joey repeated._

_ "I don't like to get close to guys unless they can handle the crap I come with. Spike's the biggest piece of crap I can show- no wait that came out really, really badly. Spike's scary and he loves me enough to act insane. Scary, insane stuff is what I come with. So - yeah, I asked him to 'test' you."_

_ "But I already knew about this crazy world of yours." Joey protested._

_ "Sometimes it's different when it's in your face." Dawn said softly, with a shrug. She felt very dejected. Her brilliant idea didn't seem too brilliant just then. "So, I thought that was a good way to see if you could handle it. Plus, I'm sure he worked in some threats about how I'm his little sister and he'll kill you if you toy with my affections stuff. It was really a two for one kind of deal." She laughed nervously. "Uhh. So, not feeling like I'm very smart right now." She pushed open the guest room door and looked at him hesitantly. "You mad at me?" She hadn't realized he'd be sooooo gorgeous in person. Her heart and brain held a split second screaming match for control, and neither really won. Dawn just stood there, in his doorway._

_ "Yeah, I'm a bit brassed off." Joey had to admit. But he was smiling at her._

_ Dawn tilted her head and asked in a slightly hopeful voice, a voice with some youthful innocence Joey never got to hear, "But you're still happy to see me?"_

_ "Bloody hell, yes!" Joey dropped his luggage and threw open his arms in exasperation. "As if one demented vampiric brother is enough to make me regret comin' to see you, Beautiful."_

_ Dawn beamed. She stuck out her hand. "Nice to finally meet you." She giggled._

_ Joey rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand in both of his. "Mutual."_

* * *

><p><em> "Where's the mutual admiration society today, Buffster?" Xander asked Buffy as they finished dividing up the miscellaneous baby junk that always made its way through both their houses. <em>

_ "Which one, the senior or junior set?" _

_ "Both, either."_

_ "Dawn took Joey on patrol routes that she want him to get familiar with. And I think- if Spike's really disgusting habit of smelling things he shouldn't- is right, Giles and Vance are probably still in bed."_

_ "Hey, he's been in a drought. Time to enjoy the rain while the rainin' is good." Xander passed a handful of mangled teething rings back to his best friend. _

_ "Willow would kick your ass if she heard you talk about them like that. Like an agricultural metaphor."_

_ "Not so much. Since her surgery's done and everything is finally healed, we're enjoying our own "harvest"."_

_ "Xander! Do not tell me things like that while I'm folding cute little onesies."_

_"__How __do __you __think __we __got __to __the __cute __little __baby __clothes __stage?__" __He __elbowed __her.__ "__Oh, __and _please _don__'__t __make __me __point __out __your __total __lack __of __right __to __talk __about __sex __grossness. __Spike __and __you-__ergh, __I__'__m __glad __you __have __young __people __stamina.__"_

_ "Oh, right, 'cause we're so much younger than you." She laughed, and then the laughter died. _

_ "Not yet." Xander whispered, and took Tanya's hair clips from her hands. "Soon, though."_

_"__Xan...__I __don__'__t- __we __were __all __the __same a__ge. __I __just __couldn__'__t-__" __Buffy__'__s __eyes __suddenly __welled __up.__ "__I __just __couldn__'__t __risk __one __of __us __dying __alone __again. __I __can__'__t- __I __can__'__t __be __where __he __isn__'__t.__" __Two __tears __overflowed, __and __she __found _herself _overflowing, __off __her __chair __and __into __his __arms.__ "__I __wish __it __could __work __for __all __of __us, __and __I __wish __that __we __could __always-__"_

_ "Shhh. Shh, Buffy, honey." Xander swallowed hard. "Who's complaining? Do you think Willow and I begrudge you two the chance to leave this mortal coil as a twosome, instead of sitting down here waiting to catch up to the loves of our lives? Don't you think we get that better than you know?"_

_ "I know maybe it seemed selfish to want immortality and I- I don't. I just want him." She mumbled into his shoulder._

_ "I know, Buff. And believe it or not- I don't think I want what you have." Xander sighed heavily, and cupped her chin, brining their sad smiles face to face. "I don't think I could stand to watch my friends go first, or my- my little girl." His voice caught. "Only you brave types can handle that."_

_ "But I'm not that brave. I didn't think I'd have William." She whispered._

_ "But you do, and he's gonna have kids, too, God help us if they take after you- and they'll need someone to watch their backs. Slayers don't rest. Champions don't rest." He gave her a gentle, almost pitying smile._

_ " Hey, takes one to know one." Buffy squeezed his bicep. "But you're right. No rest. Not if we fall in love with someone who makes it worth a couple more centuries of fighting anyway. Not that you and Wills- I mean the love amount- I mean the worthiness-" Buffy gulped down a half-sob, half-laugh. "Do you think in another century I'll be able to sound like a grown-up?"_

_ "Buff- we've got kids and we're married. No matter how we sound, we're grown ups now. In another century- you'll just be oooold." His grin turned teasing._

_ "Shut up!" Buffy pushed his arm._

_ "Nope. Gotta rib you, Buffy, while I'm still here."_

_ Buffy blinked again." Stupid tears. You know- in- in ten years, you're gonna have a bald spot. O-or wrinkles."_

_ "And you'll still think I'm totally hot, in a pirate-y way."_

_ "You're so deluded."_

_ "I know. You like your guys pale and below room temperature."_

_ Buffy stood up. "It's weird, knowing you have no time to waste, and not because you're going anywhere- but because- they are."_

_ "Yeah." Xander laughed, also rising. "But there's no rush. Just- don't waste it."_

_ "What about Giles and Vance?"_

_ "Okay, well those two, they need to be rushed. I mean we're going up against British book guy and the prim and proper doctor. Plus- they aren't gettin' younger- or standing still, like some of us." He elbowed her._

_ "Right. Tactics time. I'll get William down for his nap and meet you in the basement in a little bit? Kick your ass while we're plotting a big romance?"_

_ "Right." Xander took her hand quickly and squeezed once. "I'll hurry." He said significantly._

_ "Thanks." Buffy whispered, and raced upstairs- straight into Spike's arms._

_ "Oh. Hi."_

_ "Felt you. From up here. Not that that's such a distance, bfmmmf!"Spike's explanation got cut off with her ferocious kiss. "Well, like feelin' you like that a lot better."_

_ "Where's the baby?"_

_ "Driftin' off in his crib after a snack. Puked all over another of my shirts, by the way. D'you think the solid food is too much too soon?"_

_ "Not when you're the one getting your nipples tortured." Buffy crossed her arms over her chest with a shiver. "I know they say a year or even eighteen months for full maternal immunities and brain development goodies to be passed on through breast feeding, but that boy's got some teeth!"_

_ "Prefer the fangs on these, don't you, Kitten?" Spike traced a breast tenderly. _

_ "Spike, stop."_

_ He held her gaze. "No. I hear you. Feel you. All this anxiety, sudden fear like it's slippin' away."_

_ "Not you. You're not the one who'll leave me." Buffy locked her fingers with his._

_ "Sweetheart- they'll never leave you."_

_ "Oh, and I don't get to point out that your heart's doing that scary twisty nervous thing whenever Dawn's out of your sight?"_

_ "Different." Spike snorted, looking away._

_ "Baby, we have time, they don't. Let's not rush it, but let's not waste it." Buffy turned his head back to hers. Spike regarded her calmly, small twitch in his sensually curved mouth._

_ "What do you have in mind?"_

_ "We're going to go put our baby boy down for a little nap- and maybe watch him sleep for a few minutes before we go make asinine plots on how to push Giles and Vance along. Like that'll ever happen. Like Dawn and Joey don't already have that sewn up."_

_ "You just said asinine."_

_"_That's _what __you __choose __to __pick __up __on? __What __about __the __sweet __baby __boy __stuff? __Or __the __love __life __stuff?__" __Buffy __pushed __his __shoulders __with __an __indignant __pout._

_ "Just love to see you smile- or pout. Though I was goin' for a smile." He took her arm and led her into the nursery. William was sitting up, starting to pull himself to his feet on the bars of his crib._

_ "That's not normal." Buffy sighed._

_ "Normal for a son of ours." Spike plucked him up, and plopped him back down. "Now stay, little man." He smiled down for a minute, and Buffy saw the smile tighten painfully. "You know, Pet, we'll see more than most parents ever do, if we keep out of fires, and decapitatin' injuries. See him grow up. Go to school. Start his own family. Get married an' see his kids, his grandkids... great grandkids... their children, too. A gift, init?" He asked hoarsely._

_ Buffy rested her head on his back, arms around his waist. "Yeah. It's a gift, Sweetie. But he- is he gonna be happy knowing we're staying the same, and he's growing and changing? That he's leaving us- not that we're leaving him? It's all mixed up, it's all wrong, Baby, and it's all- right, 'cause it's gonna be such a good life, I'll make it a good life for him, I promise..." Buffy started snuffing again._

_"__Shhhh, __shh, __Sweetlet, __of __course. __And __he__'__s __not __gonna __mind. __I __promise __he__'__s __not __gonna __mind, __because __he__'__s __ours. __He__'__ll __know __what __we __do-__what __we __did-__is__ '__cause __of __love. __Gonna __make __him __proud __of __us, __Luv.__" __Spike __leaned __over __the __crib __and __ran __a __finger __across __his __velvety __cheek.__ "__I _will _be __the __man __you __both __deserve.__"_

_ "Already are." Buffy kissed his shoulder and reached for the radio, putting on music to help William sleep._

_ "Oh no. Not this, Pet." Spike rolled his eyes. _

_ "Shush, it's soft and he's fighting sleep." Buffy leaned on the crib rail. "Sleep, baby boy..."_

"Good night my angel time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

And you should always know

Where ever you may go

No matter where you are

I never will be far away"

_"__That__'__s __right ,__little __one. __We __will __never __leave __you.__" __Spike __murmured, __also __leaning __on __the __rails._

_ Buffy's head jerked up. "Oh God."_

_ "What?"_

_ "If something got us both- both of us would go at once, no options, no single survivors." She swallowed._

_ "Luv, we knew that. We still wanted it, didn't we? Still wanted him? Besides, findin' the nasty that can take out both of us at once? Never gonna happen. Even if it did, can you imagine a better set of folks to look after him?" Spike said carelessly, not thinking about that, building layers and layers of brick around that thought to keep it from leaking into his mind and scaring him more shitless than he already was by the vampiric nature of things._

_ "I know. It's scarier when the thing you wanted so bad- looks up at you with you your own eyes, and his daddy's cheekbones." Buffy smiled shakily._

"Good night my angel, now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep

Inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me"

_Buffy __watched __them __both. __The __father __and __the __son.__Yes, __William __would __always __be __a __part __of __them, __and __always __have __a __place __in __their __hearts-__whoever __went __first. __Spike__'__s __ancient __heart, __truly __ancient, __that __loved __relentlessly __and __constantly - __even __if __you __tried __to __beat __it __out __of __him, __torture __it __from __him, __deny __it __until y__ou __made __yourself __believe __it- __he __kept __loving __what __he __loved. __How __could __she __ever __worry __that __their __son __wouldn__'__t __have __what __he __needed, __with __someone __like __that __in __his __corner?__ "__Ancient __heart. __That __means __you.__" __She __took __his __hand._

_ Spike cast a quick, twisted smirk at his partner in this life, in the next one. "Ancient heart yourself, Luv. By the time we're through."_

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child will cry and if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabies go on and on

They never die, that's how you and I will be"

_William __finally __closed __his __eyes __and __his __always __slow __breathing __became __even __slower __as __he __slept.__ "__Not __such __a __bad __song.__" __Spike __murmured._

_ "No. A good song." Buffy agreed, straightening up, piling her hair in a loose bun, slowly turning from the crib. "I like the last line the best." She hummed softly. "Someday we'll all be gone..."_

_ "Pet, that's a bit dark. Speakin' as a vamp, I should know."_

_ "No. No, not for us." Her eyes lightened slightly, tone turned a shade more eager. "Don't you get it? Someday we'll all be gone- from here. So that means-"_

_ "Someday we'll all be together someplace else?"_

_ "And never die- that's how you and I will be."_

_ "You, and I, and everyone we love." _

_ Buffy slid her arm through his and they began walking in step, heading down the stairs. "We're a family right? That means all of us stay together- wherever we go."_

_ "Oh hell. Eternity with One Eye an' Rupert."_

_ "Shut up. You know you love 'em."_

_ "Love is such a strong word..." He sighed._

_ "One that needs to be said a little more often around here. Vance, Giles- they're in the totally meant to be together forever category, but boy are they dragging things out. Planning-slash-training session in the basement."_

_ "On how to get 'em to speed things along?"_

_ "Yep."_

_ "Best bring Dawn and the boy in on it." Spike grimaced. "They've been hatching- well, the three of us have been hatching schemes, but he's- he's her liaison to the transatlantic side of big fuddy duddy love fest."_

_ Buffy nodded and they took a few steps in silence. "What's the best gift you could ever give Dawn?" Buffy looked at him as they walked._

_ "Hm? Oh, I dunno. The car was pretty nice."_

_ "Spiiike." She groaned._

_ "My undyin'- literally- love an' affection?"_

_ "Gettin' warmer, Baby."_

_ "Oh fine, fine, fine. Dammit. Love that's good an' proper gonna last with the long haul bloke she's been lookin' for so she can have what we have." He rolled his eyes and huffed air towards the ceiling._

_ "That was very on the nose. Impressive."_

_"__I__can__read__your__thoughts,__Luv.__" __He__laughed_.

_"__She __doesn__'__t __have __to __rush. __But __she __doesn__'__t __have __to __waste __time, __either. __And __you __know __she__'__ll __always __be __a __part __of __us.__"_

_ "Oh, God... he's a nice enough boy, I s'pose. On two days' observation, that is."_

_ "I'm not saying he's 'the one', just- it would be okay if he was. Right?"_

_ "Oh, Luv... bugger..." Spike hedged, leaning against the basement door._

_ "Hey, Xander called. Training slash plotting thing?" Dawn trotted in, Joey behind her. _

_ "All over that. Got a friend of a friend who might be able to get 'em into a Who concert that's playin' next month." Joey offered eagerly._

_ "And you could use some training." Dawn told him._

_ "Is that a jab, Pipsqueak?"_

_ "What'd you call me?"_

_ "Beautiful Pipsqueak?"_

_ "That's better. Come on. I'll let you start with me- I'm easy. I mean- compared to- uh- any body else." Dawn blushed, stammered, and smiled all at once. Buffy and Spike exchanged a knowing look. _

_ "Right. I mean,it'll be a challenge, you're harder than me, obviously- oh. Sod." Joey looked as uncomfortable yet happy as Dawn did. They shared a goofy, uncertain smile._

_ "Come on." Dawn tugged his wrist once and they headed downstairs._

_ "She's very happy. An' a bit girly." Spike grimaced. "Not used to that."_

_ "That's normal. We wanted her to have that- as close as we could get." Buffy gave him a pointed look._

_"__Bloody __hell. __Alright, __alright. __Room __inside __this__ '__ancient __heart__' __for __one __more- _if _he __earns __it.__" __Spike __huffed._

_ Buffy smiled contentedly, hiding the recent pain under her eyes. "As long as we all stay together."_


	16. Chapter 16

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's, particularly DLillith, who wanted some details of Dawn and Joey's first meeting. _

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, alexiarrose, Sarcastic Bunny, Buffymuse93, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. _

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XVI

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of Starting Over)

_"__So __you __do __this __every __night?__" __Joey __asked __as __Dawn __led __him __out __of __the __house._

_ "No. We've got a schedule divided up between patrol, research-slash-magical work stuff, and babysitting." She explained. It was the second to last night before Joey and Vance would return to England. Joey had taken his first "assignment" very seriously, spent tons of time with the babies, taking notes, conferring with Vance when she wasn't locked away in Giles'- or as Dawn was now beginning to think of it, "The Love Shack", and studying and training. And family stuff. He was great. He was greater than she'd thought he would be- and that was the problem. He was so great, so willing to pitch in, and they were so busy, that when they were alone, they weren't doing things that were exactly- clear. Friendly? Very. Romantic? Barely._

_ "Not to be sexist, but can I ask- do the blokes do more patrol than the girls?"_

_ "They did, but only because Buffy and Willow were pregnant at the same time and then new mommies at the same time. Now that the babies are older. it's pretty even." Dawn shrugged and paused on the sidewalk. "Xander and Buffy are with us tonight."_

_ "Is there going to be much action, d'you reckon?"_

_ "Why? Scared?" She raised one smooth brow._

_ "Well I'd be brain damaged if I wasn't! I'm about to go patrol the night for supernatural beasties armed with a pointy piece of wood, a crossbow- weaponry not popularly used since the Crusades, mind you, and a pocketful of magic talismans an' holy relics."_

_ "Just make sure you use holy relics on vamps, talismans on demons." Dawn reminded him with a perfectly even voice. Scared- yeah, that was okay. As long as he didn't chicken out or run away. Okay, maybe even if he backed out, 'cause they could come up against something mega scary. Or maybe she just liked him so much she'd let him have second chances._

_ Joey watched her face go from composed to thoughtful. "So this is perfectly normal for you, you're never frightened, yeah?"_

_ Dawn laughed with a completely unladylike snort and then coughed. "Are you nuts? I'm scared all the time! Only- only you have to fight them or you die, so..." She shrugged._

_ "So you've got great motivation." He nodded._

_ "That and- and these things have killed too many people I love, too many good people, young people, girls like me. They've killed Buffy- three times, or two, 'cause I don't know whether to count the last time or-_

_ "Could- could you repeat that?" Joey gaped at her, and then as he heard the front door slam, he gaped at the blonde, petite, apparently reincarnate-able Buffy._

_ "Long story. Willow's a pretty top notch witch, and Xander's good with CPR, let's start with that." Dawn tossed her hair._

_ "Be right there!" Buffy called and waved her car keys at them. "I left my earmuffs in the Jeep!" And she disappeared around the side of the house to head to the carport._

_ "She looks very well for a dead girl walking. She looks younger than me." Joey mused as he shook his head in disbelief._

_ "She might be, actually. At least in appearance, but that's the whole 'claimed by a vampire, near immortal' deal she got when she and Spike decided to get married and 'mated'." Dawn knew she was throwing a lot at him at once, and she was waiting for the chink to show in his armor._

_ No chinks appeared. Joey shook his head and let out a low whistle. "Tell me more someday, Beautiful?"_

_ "Okay." Dawn smiled quietly. "But you get it, right? These things scare you, but you can't let them make you fall apart, because you'll get eaten. Like, literally- eaten." Dawn winced._

_ Joey winced in return. "Can think of a lot nicer ways to go, I admit."_

_ "Totally. And I want to be a lot older when it happens." She laughed ruefully. "It makes you angry, you know? When you realize that you've lost twice as many people as you still live with, like you see all the holes in people's lives because of these evil things- and you get mad. You get determined. I know I'm nothing special now, and I'm skinny and I have an epic lack of upper body strength, but I have to help fight. I _want_ to help fight. I don't want one more person to leave before their time. No more holes in anyone's life." She sighed and looked up at the frosty January sky. "Sorry. I rambled."_

_ "No." Joey reached for her hand, for the first time, just to hold it, not to show her something, or lead her someplace. "You give one hell of a pep talk, Summers." He whispered. _

_ "Not scared anymore?" Dawn blushed when she let her fingers slip into his and felt her chest heave like a nervous girl at her first dance._

_ "I am." He confessed. "But I'm bloody well motivated to stay alive. An' keep everyone else in the same condition." He gave her a significant look and let his hand grip hers just a little more tightly._

_ Dawn relaxed and felt a tide of gooey emotions threaten her. Which was a good way to get distracted and hurt. She removed her hand reluctantly. "Thanks. I- um. Me, too." Joey looked at her quizzically. "Motivated. About- everything."_

_ "Well, good." He didn't understand the hand removal. He'd thought things were going that way. And even if it was patrol, the moon was up and the air was frosty, making their breath create clouds around them, and the black-blue of night made Dawn's skin look pale, made her hair look dark and carry a shine... She was beautiful. ~His Beautiful. She might be named for the morning sun, but God, she looked good in the dark. Ethereal. It was so easy to believe she was, knowing what she'd once been, what kind of life she now led. "Did I do something wrong, Beaut- Dawn?" He dropped the pet name._

_ "No! Really, seriously no!" She fixed him with those wide eyes and he felt himself slipping right into them. "Just- I didn't want to get distracted. You either. Because if you do- you can be dinner." She added in a whisper, "And I really don't want you to go anywhere..."_

_ "That's do-able." Joey said easily, and fell into step beside her as Buffy and Xander emerged from their respective yards and joined them._

* * *

><p><em>"You know why she paired us up this way?" Xander asked Joey as they brought up the rear.<em>

_ "Not entirely, mate, but no matter." Joey watched the sisters prowling ahead, two slim figures hissing and arguing away, heads together for a few seconds at a time before snapping apart to check their surroundings. "Prob'ly so I can get trained by one of the 'ordinary blokes'. Ha, as if..." Joey looked at the man beside him as they walked. Xander was in his early twenties, might be his own age, might be even younger, he'd never gotten all the facts and figures. "You must be one hell of a demon hunter, no magical super powers, an' the rest of it, an' still able to do the job." Joey said honestly, with no trace of pity, only admiration._

_ Xander felt himself flush with pride but he tried to sound careless and tough, the way he imagined a crack demon fighter would sound- but it fell apart halfway through."Well... it's taken awhile to get to the point where - I don't scream like a girl too much." He chuckled._

_ Joey laughed heartily and then shushed himself with a frantic look around. "Gotta work on the sneakin' about part. But screams or no, you'd have to be the real deal- to still be able to fight the good fight, even after." He gestured to the black patch on his new friend's eye. _

_ "You don't stare at the lack of eye too much. Thanks. It takes awhile to get used to, I know, but you don't gawk." Xander smiled crookedly._

_ "I try not to. 'Sides, saw my share of wounded. Not pretty. But you don't talk down to soldiers. They know the risks."_

_ Xander's heart gave a happy little thump. "Soldiers?" _Me? Me? He thinks I'm like a soldier? Man, wait 'til I tell Willow._ "You've uh- been in the military?" Xander tried to control his enthusiasm and sound nonchalant._

_ "Oh, yeah, did my service as a medic an' then university for the degree. Saw enough of people tryin' to kill each other off, wanted to get some life into the place, so I signed up to get the G and O put after my name."_

_ "Admirable. So... you're what? Army? Special ops?" Xander could feel his old fixation on the military awakening and he was eating this up._

_ "RAF- ground staff and then medic, no fancy pilotin' about, no jet fightin'. Don't look so awed- _you're_ the one out facin' the evil incarnate."_

_ Xander snapped himself out of his Full Metal Jacket fantasy and back to his much more creepy and slimy reality. "Yeah, well... My demon hunting expertise aside, that's not the reason Buffy told us to stick together." Xander jerked his head to the spatting sisters. "She didn't want to leave you two together in case either of you got distracted from patrol."_

_ "You are so not asking me questions like that!" Dawn's shrill hiss broke the air and Buffy stuck her tongue out at her sister and blew a loud raspberry. _

_ "Buffy doesn't consider _that_ a bit distractin'?" Joey gestured._

_ "Nahhh. That's the elevator music in our life, pal." Xander laughed. "Besides, she isn't able to get distracted like we are, Buffy's got slayer senses that go haywire tingly when there's a nasty around."_

_ "Dawn, get down!" Buffy suddenly shouted and shoved her sister away._

_ "Oh, God. Like that?" Joey's mouth went dry._

_ "Yep. Just like that." Xander said grimly, and started to move forward._

_ "We have company in town! You couldn't give us a week off?" Buffy shouted at a large vampire as it came vaulting through the bushes on the river path._

_ "Slayer!" It howled in response, and made a running charge at Buffy._

_ "How come it's never 'Demon Hunter!'?" Xander demanded, moving in. "I put in my hours, you know." Between Buffy and himself, they managed to get the vampire backed towards the inky water with it's half frozen sheet of ice._

_ "You're not the one who mutes our evil!" The vampire snarled, still trading blows with the Slayer._

_ "He's one sixth of the volume control, Smiley." Buffy quipped, and lunged once Xander was clear. _

_ Joey watched the tiny little woman create a shower of bone and dust where a monster had once stood, and then glide through the air and skid to a halt in the solid muddy bank of the river. "Bloody hell." He gasped._

_ "Sure you want to do this for a part-time job? You could probably work retail instead..." Dawn teased, coming up beside the gaping man._

_ "I don't like wearin' a name tag." He replied unthinkingly, eyes riveted to the pile of vampire remains. "All this time I thought 'dusting' was just your lots way to sound tough. Like when the mob movie thugs say 'ice him'?"_

_ "Nope, we're strangely literal about vamps." Buffy let Xander pull her to her feet and she brushed her hands off. "I hate winter." She shivered. "At least in California when the night lasted so long, it was relatively warm."_

_ "You still bundled up like an Eskimo." Dawn teased._

_ "I did not." Buffy retorted._

_ "Xan- didn't she?"_

_ "Sorry, Buffy, gotta go with Dawnie there." Xander laughed. _

_ "Well- here it's needed." Buffy snuggled deeper into her fleece lined suede jacket. "It's going to be a long night..."_

_ Joey shivered slightly as well and started walking along with his patrolling tour guides. "Where to next?" He asked._

_ "The edge of town, according to the incident tracking Giles, Willow and I've been doing." Dawn groaned. "The vamps figure we stick near the center of town, with the parks and the graveyards, so they occasionally try their luck by moving as far away as possible."_

_ "Why not just leave town?" Joey asked, hoping he didn't sound stupid._

_ "Because of all the suped up evil goodness courtesy of the locus point." Xander explained._

_ "And because people around here get good at noticing something's not right, but kind of ignoring what they can't explain since they see it so much. Vamps and demons like places like that. Places where they have an edge, or places like the big cities where everything's so crazy no one knows or cares about mysterious deaths and disappearances." Buffy added._

_ "You have your work cut out for you." Joey nodded in understanding._

_ "Glad to have some new blood on the team." Xander smiled in welcom._

_ "Ta', mate." Joey shoved his hands deeper in his pockets and tried to get the spotlight off himself. "Vance an' I are glad to help however we can."_

* * *

><p><em> "You know what they think we're doing, don't you?" Vance reclined her head on Giles' chest as they sprawled out on his brown leather sofa.<em>

_ "Well, they weren't wrong, until the last half hour or so." He grinned down on her wolfishly._

_ "It isn't my fault you're such a wild man." She teased, casting her eyes back and up to meet his._

_ "It most assuredly is. _You're_ the only one making me wild." He nipped her collarbone affectionately._

_ "I feel quite accomplished. Making the grim and grave Mr. Giles go mad with passion. The most powerful man in the world, lusting after the dowdy doctor." She laughed as she reached back and fondled his freshly washed hair, catching water droplets on her skillful fingertips._

_ "Silly. You're lightheaded from hours of nothing but lovemaking." Giles shifted and sat her up, smiling down at her indulgently. "I'll go make you a snack."_

_ "No, I'm not lightheaded, stay." She caught his wrist._

_ "You are, you're hallucinating, for thinking you aren't gorgeous, and for thinking I'm- what you said." Giles stumbled and blushed over her compliment._

_ "No, you're the one who's delusional, Darling, imagining that_ I_ made you wild. A man with an earring-" she lightly stroked the side of his face, "and this tattoo... Dawn told me you were a 'badass', but-"_

_ "I-simply had a brief rebellious period." He said uncomfortably. He watched the slender fingers he was coming to find so seductive trace over his bared forearm and winced inside. Brief rebellious phases didn't usually include inducing demonic possession that led to the deaths of all your closest friends, and the possession of the woman you loved..._

_ "Darling, what exactly is this?" Vance peered at the tattoo in earnest for the first time._

_ "Hrm. Mark of Eyghon." He muttered. "Tea?" He sat her back up with sudden urgency._

_ "It's understated- but captivating." Vance studied it with her bright, alive eyes, not letting herself be distracted. "Like you." She smiled up at him before returning her gaze to his arm. "Is it a magical symbol, Luv?" She traced it slowly with her fingertip._

_ "In a way." Giles hedged, watching her studying him. There was such warmth and humor inside her, shining in those eyes, audible in her tone. But she kept so much of herself private, somewhat reserved. The way she was with him, she knew she wasn't like with anyone else, not even Joey. It was special to be loved by her, and to find someone who he could say he unreservedly loved as well- it just hadn't happened. Ever. _

_ Vance was surprised when his larger hand caught her own, lifting it away from the mark on his skin. "You are so very perfect for me." He murmured. _

_ Her expression was startled, then caught off guard while still looking pleased. "Thank you." She said genuinely. "What brought that up?"_

_ "I was just appreciating it afresh." Giles explained his abrupt comment._

_ "I have to agree that you were just what I've been looking for." Vance laughed, then clarified hastily, "Not that I was looking!"_

_ "No, I quite understand that." Giles scooted close beside her. "I wasn't looking, either, in spite of Dawn's nagging-" they both laughed, "but you were simply there. There when we needed help. You saved us. It's nice to have someone else do that on occasion." He sighed contentedly, both in thankfulness at meeting this wonderful woman and relief that they had left his tattoo alone for the moment._

_ Vance protested. "I did very little, hardly 'saving', Dear."_

_ "You gave us confidence, you calmed us. You were simply- there when it most mattered." Giles insisted._

_ Vance was quiet for a moment, just looking at him, this wonderful man who seemed to just fit in her heart, fill in the empty spaces she didn't even know she had. She hadn't talked much, not to anyone, in the last fifteen years. Oh, slowly she'd begun to open up in the last few, once Joey had come skidding into her life and her office in a mixture of RAF slang, cleats, shorts, and stale coffee kept in duffle bags, and a colorful blend of boyish charm, kindness, and verbal abuse on anyone who insulted his precious Man U. Now she talked to Giles, so much, about anything, everything. Sometimes it scared her. Most of the time it scared her, honestly, that he'd be gone one morning, and her heart would feel hollow again. Worse, this time she'd know it was full of holes, no more resolute ignorance. _

_ But for now- since she'd met him- she was happy. Properly happy and -and it didn't hurt. She spoke softly, solemnly, a smile quivering on her lips."Giles- I may have given you a few little assistances. But _you're_ the one who saved_ me_."_

_ Giles looked as if he'd just been given keys to every supercar he'd ever secretly lusted after and a million pounds as well. His seamed face beamed. "Did I?" He asked incredulously, happily._

_ "Oh, I know it's terribly old fashioned, the woman being saved by the man, and I should be ashamed of my anti-feministic sentiment. But, no. I stand firm. You saved me." She insisted with a happy blush._

_ "Thank you." Giles swallowed. "You've no idea how- how much that -" He shook his head and kissed her, then buried his face in her hair, rather overwhelmed at the thoughts striking him. That he had finally saved the damsel in distress. That perhaps he was the strong one, the warrior, not simply the watcher of the battle. Not simply a failure. "It is so rare that I save anyone." He laughed weakly, in a voice that held no humor in spite of the laughter._

_ Vance's laugh rang out in disbelief as she pushed herself form his arms enough to gaze at his face. "You save the entire world, Giles, Darling!"_

_ "Ah yes. The world." He shook his head dolefully. "Amazing how one person can be the whole world to you." Vance's face began to drop, but he didn't see it, looking inside himself instead. Seeing faces. Jenny's. Joyce's. Buffy's. Tara's. Kendra's. Jenny's and Buffy's on an endless wave in front of his eyes. "And when you lose them-" Jenny's body in his bed. Buffy's body crumpled at the foot of Glory's tower, blood streaming from her temple, "and when you lose them," he repeated softly, "you feel as though you've never saved anything at all." _

_ Vance's own eyes had clouded over. Echoes of hospital corridors and a bloodstained gurney shoved to the side, rumpled gray and navy uniform that she wouldn't let go of...bloody water and a needle in her arm... "Yes. You're so very right." She whispered to herself more than him._

_ Silence dragged on, and they held each other tightly, his arms around her waist, her head on his chest. Eventually the striking of the grandfather clock jarred Vance back to alertness. Her eyes fixed on the strong arms around her, landing on the tattoo once again. She cleared her throat. "So, tell me about this mark of something?" She squeezed her palm around his arm._

_ Giles didn't appear to be with her, his eyes were still very far away. "Some other time, Precious One?" He laid his cheek to her forehead._

_ "Of course. I understand." She whispered, hearing the drifting in his tone so clearly._

_ "Do you?" He murmured into her soft hair._

_ Vance's bittersweet smile answered him in a way words never could. "Oh yes. More than you know." She reassured, and leaned more deeply into him, hugging the world away._

* * *

><p><em> "Odd way to spend my last afternoon in the good ol' US of A." Joey was sitting on the Oriental carpet in Giles' living room, Spike and Dawn were lounging beside him, Spike with a pint of- ergh- blood- in his hand. Across from him, Vance, his own very reserved Dr. P. Vance, was sitting on Giles' lap in a leather armchair, his hands draped across her waist as if he owned her, body and soul- which he did, Joey realized with a furtive smile. Behind him, Xander and Willow were in the same position on one side of the couch, while Buffy sat on the other, holding both squirming babies. <em>

_ "Why? What's so- ooof, William! hold still for Mama- odd about it?" Buffy disengaged her son's small but super strong fingers from her hair, and he immediately snuggled into Tanya instead._

_ "Just never figured we'd be-"_

_ "Why the bloody hell did you do that, you overpaid ponce!" Spike screamed suddenly, pointing at the small television in the corner of the room. _

_ "Red card, ref!" Giles egged on the official strolling across the football pitch. "Send him off!" Giles and Vance cheered when one of the Manchester United players was removed from the field._

_ "Sorry, Joey, what were you saying?" Buffy tried to recapture the conversation, with a little kick at her husband's back for interrupting it in the first place, but found herself no longer with a conversation partner._

_ "Vee, you bloody little traitor! Cheerin' on my heartbreak?" Joey sounded mortally offended, hand clasped to his chest._

_ "I'm sorry, Darling, but three against one isn't fair odds." Vance kissed Giles' ear with a smirk._

_ "Joey?" Willow asked hesitantly, joining her voice to Buffy's._

_ "But, Vee, think of the-"_

_ "Brooke!" Xander shouted in his best pretend military voice, and watched Joey turn slowly. _

_ "Sorry, mate. Not without the accent." Joey smiled._

_ "I can't do British accents. Giles and Spike banned us from doing that."_

_ "Bloody right." Giles muttered. _

_ "Commercial! I'm getting the cookie dough!" Dawn sprang up. Spike automatically reached up and put his hand on her lower back to steady her until she could climb over his legs and the myriad of baby gear beside them. Joey found himself so lost in his sudden envy of the easy way he could touch her without over thinking things, that he had tuned out Buffy for the third time._

_ "Joey probably thought we'd all be wearing cowboy hats and eating steaks every night." Dawn teased from the kitchen, and Joey came back to the present conversation._

_ "No, I just never imagined I'd be watching a Man U. match with actual proper beer, and someone who actually knows what they're talkin' about. Thought the Yanks didn't much care for 'soccer'." _

_ "You'll notice the 'Yanks' don't." Willow gestured to the three adults on the couch._

_ "What about me?" Dawn protested._

_ "You were raised with good influences." Spike chuckled._

_ "From me, he means." Giles corrected._

_ "The point is, it's bloody marvelous to fly across the soddin' Atlantic Ocean, an' still feel like I'm home." Joey raised his beer. "I know what you meant, Vee. I get it now."_

_ Dawn popped her head through the doorway and beamed at him, a smile that transmitted right around the room, until Joey saw even Spike's usually smug or taciturn face lighten slightly. "You were right, Vance. He's not a bad sort." Spike muttered moodily into his mug of blood. Dawn bounced over to her brother-in-law and put a circle of raw dough in his mouth as soon as he swallowed. _

_ "Hey! How come I don't get any?" Xander demanded. _

_ "You could. If you were a _fan_. This is for the people who use energy cheering on a team." She teased, and offered the bowl to Joey._

_ Xander huffed and hung his head for a moment. "Forgive me, Will." He stood up and proclaimed in a voice of resignation, "I am going to denounce my lifelong unmanly un-interestedness in sports- and start caring about why men chase a little round ball from one end of a big ass lawn to the other- for the sake of cookie dough."_

_ Willow laughed and then pouted and huddled closer to Buffy on the couch. "Fine. See if you get any cuddles. You know I don't like jocks." She teased._

_ "Well, I say it's about bloody time you finally woke up to the joys of-" Spike's voice died off abruptly as Xander walked past him and sat on the floor beside Vance and Giles. "Hey!"_

_ "You didn't seriously think I'd ever root for a team you liked, did you Captain Clorox?" Xander reclined his head on the arm of the chair. "Dawn- make with the cookie dough-age. I'm a bona fide fan. Go- team I don't know the name of- wearing the blue uniforms! Chase the little ball and earn millions of dollars- I mean, pounds!" He cheered lamely._

_ "Oh dear Lord." Giles sighed. _

_ "Your new team is the 'Spurs." Vance leaned down and patted his head affectionately._

_ "Are they playing now?"_

_ "No!" Giles glared at him over the rims of his glasses. "Have you been paying no attention whatsoever?"_

_ "He was. To his hot mama." Buffy called across the room, ruffling Willow's hair. "More than I can say for _some_ husbands..." She added pointedly, kicking Spike again._

_ "Is my Pet feeling neglected?" Spike's bright blue eyes zeroed in on Buffy, and his voice dropped into the "oozing lust" range. Buffy giggled. "Don't mind ignorin' the telly when there's somethin' so much better to watch." He curled his tongue behind his teeth in a feral smile and slid up onto the couch. "Mind the little one for a minute, Niblet." He purred, and Buffy giggled again, but didn't let go of the children, or even move._

_ Joey leaned back against the couch in astonishment. These people were amazing. Insane, but amazing. They were so comfortable with one another, and they slipped him into the mix like he'd never been out of it. Even Vee, draped over Giles, looked like she'd lived here, with them, all her life. _

_ Dawn put the bowl of cookie dough in Joey's lap and then leaned over to him. "Sorry. Sex fiends. It's included in the immortal stamina. Or -something." She whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder._

_ "No worries." He whispered back with a broad smile. Dawn returned it, and didn't move her head. "Not a bad way to spend the my last afternoon in the States." He muttered softly, and Dawn snuggled in deeper._

* * *

><p><em> "So, what d'you think? Of this place." Dawn asked Joey as she caught up to him on the way to the kitchen. He held a stack of typed notes on the babies that Vance had conferred and signed off on. <em>

_ "Nice. Lovely scenery. Quiet town. 'Cept for the nightmare creatures."_

_ "Glad you think so, but I meant the US." Dawn rolled her eyes._

_ "Oh. Nice enough." He said noncommittally. "Didn't see much of it."_

_ Dawn felt her breath catch and she asked in a much higher voice than she would have liked. "Do you like it enough to come back?"_

_ "I'd like to trade off with Vance." Joey answered immediately. Then frowned. "Only that'd mean the lovebirds wouldn't see each other as much, and as little as they see each other now..." He shrugged._

_ "Good point, Dawn agreed. "They need a push, and time together is the best thing we can offer."_

_ Joey nodded, plopped his file folders down on the kitchen counter, one labeled Summers, one labeled Rosenberg-Harris. "It'll be fine though, won't it?" He shot out a crooked, boyish grin. "No worries about when I get over here. We're already ahead."_

_ Dawn tried to decipher his words through a haze of blinding cuteness that had attacked her senses. Oooh, that smile... "Ahead? We- we are?" She asked with a hint of temerity._

_ Joey looked at her full on , smile vanishing. "I know not to question it, and arse about when the best girl in the world keeps callin' me, an' talkin' to me. And hasn't gotten bored with me yet." He looked down at the counter suddenly The house, devoid of people, suddenly seemed too quiet, and his hopes were too high. " Course, could seem that way, but you only just met me."_

_ Dawn blurted in her eagerness to reassure her new friend, her new best friend, and something more. "You don't bore me! I don't think you ever would. Will. I mean- you just-" she collected herself with a deep breath and tried a different approach. "Even if you haven't led some amazingly crazy life, like ours- it's still pretty interesting and- and that's not why I like you." _Oh. God. I just totally said I liked him, and I didn't even finish explaining, and I am so effing bad at this. No. no, be brave, be brave, be brave. You will not waste your time being scared and stupid because he makes your knees turn to pudding._ "I just... I just like you." She concluded in a rush. But a brave rush, she consoled herself._

_ "Me?" Joey clarified, both eyebrows cocked and raised._

_ "Yes. _You_." Dawn declared firmly._

_ Joey's smile returned, more gorgeous than ever. "Well, imagine that." He said in a soft amused voice, satisfaction and awe in every syllable._

_ Dawn smiled in return. _Wow. He must like me, too. I mean obviously he likes me, all that 'best girl in the world' stuff._ She suppressed a giggle with an effort and tried to look mature, as befits a woman embarking on a serious relationship. Maybe. She fought the giggles off again. "So. I- uh- you have an early flight." She said, twisting her hand in her hair. "A-and you need sleep. And I promised I'd catalog Willow's potion ingredients while she patrols. So- we should-" _We should say goodnight. We should go before my stupid Buffy genetics smack me in the face and turn me into a giggling lunatic , before I do something stupid like-

_ "Want any help?" Joey offered easily, unaware of the interior monologue Dawn was having._

_ The giggling idiot inside vanished. Watcher (or Watcher- To-Be) duties were serious and this came under that heading- at least to her. "Do you know progspron root from bilberry frond?" _

_ "No, but I learned over 500 different common medical formularies." He said easily, and walked past her, to the closet, and retrieved his coat. "You're a good teacher, Beautiful. I'll learn this stuff, too."_

_ Dawn smiled, but then forced her tone to harden. "Well, you'd better pay attention. You mix stuff up and you could blow the roof off."_

_ "Oh, no soddin' pressure there." He laughed sarcastically, giving her a mocking stare._

_ Dawn loved that. The little challenges, without making it into some huge deal or competition. Unlike certain other currently happy, formerly miserable ill-fated lover people she knew. Her eyes lost the stoney edge and shone instead. "Could you teach me, too?"_

_ "Say what?" Joey froze._

_ "Medical stuff. You could teach me."_

_ "Medical stuff? But, Dawn, you've got all this-" He gestured vaguely around the house, trying to describe it in a single gesture. All the magic, the potions, the weapons, the supernatural..._

_ "Yeah, yeah, yeah. but it'd be nice to know what to do if someone _normal_ ever needed _normal_ help."_

_ Joey shook his head. Gotta love that keenness to learn stuff, to conquer the world and all its corners. "Sure. I'll send you my old pharmacology text book for starters."_

_ "Okay. I'll find you one of the basic herbology guides. If we have duplicates. If not, I can ask Giles if the Alliance would pay for it as part of training you."_

_ "Hey, now. I wasn't gonna go quite that far." Joey held up a restraining hand._

_ Dawn tugged on her own coat and tossed her hair with a playfully contemptuous snort. "Wimp."_

_ "Oh yeah? We'll just wait until you get to the anesthetic preparation section. Then we'll see who the wimp is. _Girly_."_

_ "You're going down, Brooke."_

_ "Try it, Summers." Joey grinned._

_ "I can organize and catalogue all night, and still have the energy to babysit the wonder tots." She flippantly replied._

_ "I can do a triple shift an' still make it to league finals." Joey snapped back._

_ Dawn's smile escaped it's confines. "This is going to be fun."_

_ "Lookin' forward to it." He agreed, and followed her off to their night's work._

* * *

><p><em> "Mornin'." Joey bumped into Dawn as he emerged from his guest room, stubbly and with curly tousled brown hair even more curly and tousle-y than usual.<em>

_ Dawn, already up for awhile nodded and yawned a greeting. "Cereal?"_

_ "Sounds lovely." He agreed, and followed her down the hall, past her room. "Now that I'm leavin', can I tell you somethin'?"_

_ "What?" Dawn asked, pausing by her doorway._

_ "The punk crap you keep blarin' every mornin' an' some nights? I'm still not likin' it. Could you give it up, Beautiful?"_

_ Dawn bit her lip and opened her door, hiding a smile. "You think that's why I did it?"_

_ "Either that, or it's some kind of tradition I never heard of to give your guests a wake up call that sounds like people being bludgeoned with guitars."_

_ "Noooo." Dawn walked into her room, motioning him to join her. Once inside she reached over to her stereo, looked at the clock and the pale daylight just starting to make its way around the windows, and hit the power button. The Ramones died in the midst of their cheerful wailing._

_ "What-"_

_ "Listen." Dawn blushed._

_ Joey paused. "Are we listenin' for Tanya an' little Will?" The two little ones had been in Vance and Giles' care for part of the night, and Dawn's (and his by association) for the rest._

_ "No. Big Will." Dawn held up her hand. "Let me see- patrol ended probably an hour ago? Maybe less..."_

_ Joey cocked his head, and then felt his cheeks flame when he heard a low growl and an echoing moan, followed by soft pleading pants of "God, Spike, God, Spike, God, yes! Spike!"_

_ Dawn flipped the radio back on and cranked it even higher. "They try so hard to keep it down. We don't tease them." She said it as an order. "Well- not very much."_

_ "I wouldn't dare." Joey knew Spike could rip him to bits, and Buffy could probably do it even faster and more gracefully- but he'd still be just as dead. His cheeks still felt hot- as did other areas. Not that he was voyeuristic mind you, he just couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever be lucky enough to make someone he loved, really, properly loved, lose control like that, and would he ever get the same thing back? "They love each other in some way that I don't get." Joey muttered. "A good way, Beautiful, stop your glarin'. But most couples aren't goin' at it like mad after a hard night of fightin', not to mention they've been together for ages."_

_ "They spent a lot of time screwing up and trying to kill each other." Dawn said bitterly. "Plus- Spike did something to my sister and made her terminally horny."_

_ Joey swallowed and they left the room as he nodded. "They don't seem to mind."_

_ "Nope. And thank God they have each other, because they're like rabid sex bunnies, they can't end training or patrolling without going crazy together. I mean they have before- but by the end of the day- it's like living in an R-rated movie, with people making out in the hallways every time you turn around..." Dawn blushed and really, really wished her brain had gotten up as well as her body. _I'm having a talk about my siblings' sex lives with the only guy I've ever, ever, ever even thought about more than kissing. I'm going to die now...

_ "So- you'll be glad to get back to the dorms after winter holidays end?" Joey filled in the gap._

_ "Yes. And no. I love being here for the little guys. We never thought- well we all kind of thought- that we were it. Xander and Willow had lost their lovers, Buffy and Spike couldn't have kids, I didn't think anyone else in the world would ever understand my life so I didn't bother getting my hopes up, and Giles- well- he's hardcore. Vance is special."_

_ "She is. She's 'hardcore' in her own way. I'm glad the two of them have each other. It's gonna be hard to watch 'em say goodbye."_

_ Dawn looked at him and wondered if he was thinking what she was. That Giles and Vance weren't the only ones who might have a rough time leaving each other today._

* * *

><p><em> "Come back soon." Willow hugged both visitors goodbye.<em>

_ "Nice to meet you. Seriously, it helps balance the jerk factor when you're around." Xander shook Joey's hand firmly._

_ "Oh, I can hardly bear to leave these little angels." Vance fussed over the babies. _

_ "Hardly angelic, a mini wicca an' part vamp." Spike corralled his son who was attempting to pull himself to a standing position using Vance's hair for leverage. "He's got a thing for hair, sorry, Luv."_

_ "I wonder where in the world he got ~that from." Buffy tossed her long blonde locks in Spike's direction and he practically drooled._

_ "We- we do need to go. Sadly." Giles looked at his watched with a mournful sigh._

_ "No worries, back soon enough." Joey shook Spike's hand and lightly kissed Buffy's cheek. Then came to Dawn. "I'll get that book in the post." He nodded, extending his hand, wishing they'd made time for a more private goodbye._

_ "Oh, Dawn. Vance had a last minute observation, could you grab your pen and journal and take it down?" Giles snapped his fingers in sudden remembrance. _

_ "I'll forget it if I don't get to put it on paper." Vance chimed in._

_ "But you need to boogie." Xander tapped his bare wrist as if there was an invisible watch on it. "Time and airplane wait for no man who's not obnoxiously rich or famous."_

_ "I'll come with you. We'll talk in the car." Dawn decided and ran into the house. Joey, Vance, and Giles made final goodbyes and settled into the car._

_ As soon as Dawn was scooting into the backseat, the Jag zoomed off, leaving several figures crowded on the Summers' front porch._

_ "Joey could have written the observation." Willow pointed out._

_ "There's no observation, Honey." Xander kissed her forehead. "You're so cute when you're naive."_

_ "Hey!" Willow frowned._

_ "Wait- there's not- wait, what?" Buffy looked puzzled._

_ "Naive, huh? On you it still looks damn silly." Spike teased and got elbowed hard. He explained. "The smitten pairs want to say their private goodbyes. Although if that Brooke bloke 'goodbyes' Dawn like Giles said a fond farewell to Vance, he'll be arriving home in little pieces." He concluded, muttered darkly._

_ "Dawnie won't let him do anything she doesn't want. And I don't think he would." Willow soothed. "Did you ever see him look at her when she isn't watching?"_

_ "Kind of like the way Xan looks at you." Buffy grinned. Willow blushed and Xander cleared his throat._

_ "Well- been a long night. We've all patrolled, gotten a half-assed hour to sleep before sayin' goodbye. Time for bed." Spike said briskly. With hurried nods, everyone agreed and parted, heading back to bed._

_ Buffy found herself scooped off of her feet as soon as she'd put William in his playpen. "Hey!"_

_ "I said time for bed. Not for sleep." He smirked, and led her off._

* * *

><p><em> "We've got to get off to customs." Vance whispered, wrapping her arms lovingly, longingly around Giles. <em>

_ "Don't look so sad. I'll be there in three weeks, Dearest." He murmured in her ear._

_ "Call me tonight?"_

_ "Every night." he promised. He cupped her face in his hands and hesitated. "I'm not good with public displays of affection."_

_ "I know."_

_ "But I don't really give a damn today." He grunted and plowed her- albeit gently- against the glass windows of the departure lounge, kissing her like he might never get the opportunity to do it again._

_ Dawn and Joey pointedly gave them some privacy. "That's progress." Dawn's eyebrows crinkled in amusement and a little bit of shock._

_ "That's about to get them to a hotel room." Joey grinned. "That Who concert oughta send them right past the point of no return."_

_ Dawn risked a quick glance behind her. Her father figure and his girlfriend- whoa, wiggy concept- were embracing, whispering earnestly, lips brushing, nose to nose, eye to eye. "Oh. I think they're there. They just need to admit it." _Admit he can't live without her near him every day- and then what? One of them has to move. It'd better be her. But then, poor Joey. But he has family. There are way too many buts. Speaking of which, I never thought guys had cute asses, but this one... glutes, baby. Rugby done that body good...

_ Joey grinned at her, watching Dawn get a dreamy little smile on her lips. Ooh, those damnable lips, forget about the eyes being the windows to the soul, she put all her emotions into her mouth, her voice, a swish of her hair to emphasize- everything. Everything about her was meant to be watched, and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Now if his hands could just get into the action. Speaking of which... "I hate to do this, but I s'pose we better pry them apart."_

_ "Ohh." Dawn gave him a pleading, woeful stare. "Do we have to?"_

_ He was properly in it. He couldn't say no to her. "I guess we could spare another moment for the sake of lingering goodbyes." _

_ "Yeah. Um. Hey, thank you for coming. You come see us anytime, okay?" Dawn tried to sound friendly and sweet, without being all grabby girl._

_ "You, too. Thanks. Yeah, thanks, Dawn, it was lovely." He held out his arms as she was hesitantly stepping forward. Just a hug, he calmed his baser instincts. A hug is a good place to start, right?_

_ Dawn laughed gently and hugged him, patting his back, heart dancing. Hugs had never meant so much before, it seemed to her. "It was lovely. I'm really, really glad I got to meet you in person." _

_ "Oh, it's more than mutual, Beautiful." Joey released her partially, with a grin and a sigh._

_ Dawn laughed again, at his comically lovesick tone that she was sure was an exaggeration. Until she felt her own breath catch when she looked up at him, standing so close. Man, he was nice and tall and broad shouldered- solid. Warm. Warm in a different way, not comforting and sturdy like Giles, not loving and playful like Xander, not protective and brotherly like Spike. This was new, whatever it was, and she wanted more. _

_ "Really are beautiful." Joey tentatively reached for her hair, like he so often thought of doing. His fingers finally breached the brunette curtain, and it was all he could do not to lose control. It was silk, gloss and gossamer. _

_ "I-" Dawn's tongue flattened stubbornly and refused to unstick. She wanted to give him a compliment, too, tell him that his smile made her totally rethink guy faces, or his hair was just so damn cute. Or thank him for calling her beautiful, or deny it, say that she wasn't beautiful, she was skinny and lanky with clown lips that were too wide for her pointy little face, and brown hair that was just hanging there. But her stupid mouth wouldn't move to say _anything.

_ Joey's eyes held hope for a moment, and then it slowly faded. She didn't say anything and she looked like a deer in the headlights. She was a few years younger than him, still in university for God's sake. Was she thinking he was pushing her along too fast? Maybe he was. He knew she felt the same- or at least something along the lines of the same. She told him she liked him. She told him so many things, in the little gestures and infrequent touches. He refused to believe he had gone in the wrong direction, although maybe he'd gone a bit too quickly for her tastes. His smile turned from soft to apologetic and he let his hands fall free, letting go of her._

_O_n no. Not like that. If you can't talk the talk- walk the walk._ Dawn grabbed his forearms and squeezed tight, a tiny, frantic shake of her head entreating him not to move._

_ "Dawn? Look, Luv, I can't help thinkin' you're beautiful, you are, an' I've got eyes. If I put a foot wrong, let me-" _

_ She didn't let him do anything. She took a deep breath and arched up on the balls of her feet and brought her head tentatively to his- and to the side. Kissing his cheek as she exhaled shakily._

Joseph Brooke, don't you effin' move. Hold still an' enjoy this moment. Oh screw it- don't you waste this shot. Just don't push... _Joey brought his own lips to her soft, cool cheek and let them linger, inhaling the scent of her, letting his hand come back to her hair, and the other on her slim waist, kneading once, gently._

_ Dawn moved her head when he moved his- and they locked eyes- right before they locked lips. _

Oh, man. That's a kiss. A real kiss. Oh my God, I got it, I get it._ Dawn opened her mouth and closed her eyes. That's _why Jenna and Clair and Buffy and Willow let a guy in, let them get close. Well- at least physically. There's heat, and scent and taste that doesn't have any definition except- Him.

_ "W-wow." Dawn's lips felt tingly when she finally dropped back to earth._

_ "Bloody hell." Joey licked his lips once. _

_ "Yuh-huh." Dawn nodded, and then a little giggle escaped her. Joey nodded and chuckled with her, a much deeper, fuller sound that made her insides bubble._

_ "Gonna miss you, Beautiful." Joey touched her slightly puffed lips with his own once more._

_ "I'm going to miss you, too." She hugged him hard, and just let herself stay there until a teary eyed Vance and a slightly gruff Giles appeared beside them, and the couples had to separate._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn and Giles rode home in silence. Vance and Joey did not. Joey kept one arm around his friend's shoulders, whispering encouragements in her ear, and finally getting a chance to see the gray eyes clear and the smile return. Then he got the grilling of his life, and for once, he didn't mind answering questions.<em>

* * *

><p><em> "Can we go to your place?" Dawn finally broke the silence in the car to ask one burning question.<em>

_ "Of course." Giles replied smoothly, not even blinking._

_ "Can I take a shower?"_

_ "Why? Oh, never mind, yes." Giles gave up wondering._

_ "Spike's nose." Dawn answered what he didn't ask. _

_ Giles got an absolutely terrified look on his face. "Was I that distracted? I thought you were just farther down the lounge! Did you two-"_

_ "We kissed!" Dawn smacked his elbow fiercely. "Only kissed. Man, just because you and Vance are going to be the winner of the Mattress Marathon doesn't mean we -"_

_ "I withdraw the comment if you will please never talk about that - thing you just said- again." Giles blushed hotly. He supposed he and Vance had been rather indiscreet this time, spending far more time alone than ever before, and she didn't even make a pretense of keeping her things in the guest room this time._

_ "Sorry. I'm just-" Dawn gave him a wobbly grin, "not sure what happened, exactly?"_

_ "Sometimes you just need a moment to yourself to think things out." Giles murmured soothingly. He knew he surely did._

_ "Yeah." Dawn read between the lines. "You can drop me off at Claire's. She's home for another week."_

_ "No. I think we can have time to ourselves- together. Don't you?" He cocked his head at her. With a relieved sigh, she sank back into the Jag's supple seats and nodded._

* * *

><p><em> An hour passed. Dawn sat in the living room, showered and redressed in one of the outfits that she had stashed in his basement, a remote in her hand but unused. On the other end of the sofa, Giles sat beside her, a worn volume of Sherlock Holmes in his hand, unopened.<em>

_ Dawn's voice shattered the silence, hesitant but loud in the stillness. "So you're getting your turn." She smiled over the cushion between them._

_ Giles smiled in return. "So it would appear." He cleared his throat. "And if I recall a conversation we had shortly after Willow and Xander's ceremony, you are now free to take yours."_

_ Dawn licked her lips. she still tasted him. Still smelled him. But she didn't want Spike to pick up on it- not too much. Not too soon. But even if he did- she knew it wouldn't matter. They would always love one another, all of them. It was kind of a necessity at this point. "You know what? I think I will." Her smile resurfaced, full blast. "Wow. We're both starting to date at the same time."_

_ Giles winced slightly as a sudden thought assailed him. "I don't have to paint my nails with you, do I?"_

_ She laughed and rolled her eyes. "No, that's Spike's job. _Your_ job is to help me learn more English stuff and tell me when my natural direct charm is turning into bitchdom."_

_ He nodded, forcing down the smirk that came at hearing her self-critique. "Hrmm. I will. In the meantime- I believe I've watched your sister and Willow do this enough to know the protocol." With a soft grunt of tired muscles, Giles heaved himself off the couch and into the kitchen._

_ "Giles? Where are you going? What are you doing?" _

_ "Patience! You need more of that. Long distance relationships are hard." He called sternly._

_ Dawn huddled her knees to her chest and hugged them. "I'm getting that. I- I feel stupid, but I already miss him. I kinda even missed him before he left."_

_ "Well, if that's stupidity, then it's beautifully sweet stupidity and I have it as well." He returned to the living room with a pint of ice cream in one hand and two spoons clasped in the other. "Alright." He said as if he beginning a lecture. "I believe we each take one spoon- " Dawn choked down a guffaw and obediently took one from his outstretched hand. "And then while we stuff ourselves, we take turns bragging about how wonderful our - our girlfriend and boyfriend are." He offered a half smile._

_ Dawn flipped herself around on the couch to scoot close to him as he sat, putting the ice cream between them. "Wow. You. With a girlfriend! Go Giles!"_

_ "You, with a young man." He countered, and dug his spoon in._

_ Dawn blushed and took a bite. "Well, it isn't like- it isn't like you and Vance." _

_ Giles gave her an astute, knowing look, just a hint of mirth under it. He raised his spoon to hers. "Not yet. But here's to trying." _

_ Dawn assumed a suitably solemn expression. "To trying." They clinked spoons and then ate. "MM- my turn- here's to England." She swallowed and retrieved another chocolate scoopful. "They make good men. And women."_

_ "To England. Dammit, I got a chip stuck in my filling. Wait, no there it is." Giles ran his tongue across a back molar._

_ Dawn bounced impatiently. "C'mon. Your turn. Make a toast, I'm hungry." She hovered her utensil above the cardboard container._

_ Giles considered a moment and then smiled broadly. "To frequent flyer miles. May we have reasons to use them."_

_ A whirlwind of thoughts assailed Dawn. Both of them. Flying back and forth. To be with the one, or if not "the one", with someone so special, so worth having in their lives. "To frequent flyer miles." She nodded._


	17. Chapter 17

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's. **Warning: ****Giles/Vance ****smut ****at ****the ****end. ****If ****you ****don****'****t ****like ****to ****think ****of ****those ****two ****in ****that ****way, ****skim.**_

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, alexiarrose, Sarcastic Bunny, Buffymuse93, Sweet T-3, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them. The Bay City Rollers' "I Only Wanna Be With You" is used in this chapter._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XVII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII)

_"__You __know __you __could __come __with __me. __You__'__re __a __near __idol __at __the __school.__" __Giles __placed __book __after __book __in __Dawn__'__s __arms __as __they __stood __in __his __dining __room._

_ "You mean I'm the Watcher's Pet and most likely to get beaten up." Dawn joked, blushing. "Rupert Giles' surrogate daughter and youngest Watcher ever, teamed up with the original Sunnydale saviors and-and just how many of these books are you going to give me? Not magically strong!"_

_ "Just one more, Dearheart." Giles placed a tenth book in her arms- only to quickly grab half of them back as she gave a frantic clutch at the toppling pile. "Perhaps that was overambitious."_

_ "You expect me to get through these in a week? I have four classes! And I'm supposed to read all these- oh man, straight demonology guides again? With you gone? Who am I going to bug when I need help?" She demanded._

_ "You can call me, I won't be in meetings all the time. And if you were at the Academy, you would have tutors to-"_

_ "Don't even start that song, Mister. Spike and Buffy wouldn't let me go, and now I don't want to, I want to see the kids grow up! Oh, God. I sound really old." Dawn juggled the books and finally put them down on the table with a thud. "I'll leave them here. I'll just come and pick up a couple at a time when I get the mail."_

_ "Just try to get through them. And if you can't get hold of me, get hold of Wesley."_

_ "Buffy hates Wesley."_

_ "Buffy doesn't even know the man Wesley's become. He's very busy, but he'll take your calls, as a favor to me." Giles picked up his suitcase and keys with a roll of his eyes. "Call me first though, will you? He may be a lot better, but as far as I'm concerned, he's still a bit of a prat."_

_ Dawn giggled, and looked over the titles, picking two of the more interesting looking ones. "I'll email you. So I don't interrupt the sweet, sweet lovin' that you-"_

_ "Dawn Summers." Giles warned and she ceased speaking with a stifled laugh. "Speaking of sweet love, any parcels for your young man before I pack the car?"_

_ "No." Dawn chewed her lip. "It_ is_ Valentine's Day this week. I don't- know what to do about that. What are you doing for Vance?"_

_ Giles straightened his glasses with an uncomfortable twitch. "We've got tickets to see The Who this week, thanks to Joey. But I'm- I'm actually going to be in Devon on the 14th. She won't mind. I hope."_

_ "She won't mind. But you need to buy her flowers. You _will_ buy her flowers won't you?" _

_ "I'm not an idiot, Dawn, and I already procured the number of a florist. But you? And Joey?"_

_ "I'll send him an e-card." Dawn shrugged._

_ "Oh, how very romantic." Giles mumbled sarcastically as he jerked his head for Dawn to get the door. She did, locking it after them with her key._

_ "I just said I didn't know what to do about it! Some help would be nice."_

_ "You could ask Spike and Buffy, surely?"_

_ "Mr. and Mrs. Cupid? No, I don't think so. I'm just in charge of taking the babies for the evening so the married guys can get their freak on."_

_ "Really, Dawn, you shouldn't-"_

_ "Joke about that? So not joking. Very serious. Serious enough to say I'm spending the night here." Dawn grinned._

_ In spite of himself, Giles grinned back. "I'll give Joey your love."_

_ "No! Geez, no!" Dawn leaned on the car door as Giles got inside. "Give him my really like, but no love. I'm not there yet. Not like you and Vance."_

_ "We're hardly-" Giles swallowed his own false denial. "Good Lord. I suppose we are."_

_ "Look who finally woke up." Dawn kissed his cheek. "Hug her for all of us. Extra for me, since she did the whole introducing me to the first guy I've ever really liked."_

_ "I believe I helped." Giles looked over the edges of his glasses at her._

_ "You get hugged all the time." She teased._

_ "I know. Funny how you get used to it." He reached out and took her hand. "Be good. Keep them in line until I get back." He put the car in reverse and backed out of the drive, leaving Dawn on the pavement, calling after him,_

_ "Keep them in line? I don't do miracles, Buddy! I'm not a superhero!"_

* * *

><p><em> "What in God's name do you get a superhero for Valentine's Day?" Joey asked Vance as they exited the hospital.<em>

_ "Giles? I thought perhaps a nice bottle of-"_

_ "Not yours, mine." Joey hissed goodnaturedly._

_ "Well- what stage are we at?"_

_ "The very bloody far apart and missin' her madly stage." Joey grimaced._

_ "That's universal here." Vance said in her precise manner._

_ "Not so very. You'll see your bloke in a day or so, at least by the concert if he can't get away from bein' Mr. High an' Mighty Watcher before then. Oh, bloody hell, even if I buy her somethin' now- it'll never make it to her in time." Joey frantically rumpled his already rumpled hair. "Why don't I ever soddin' think of these things?"_

_ "Don't worry, Dear, you can tell her about the consultant strike and all the extra hours, can't you?"_

_ "Oh, I've been tellin' her. Email her every day." Joey smiled bashfully._

_ "No phone calls?"_

_ "Some. Don't wanna be pushy. Whenever I get the urge to sound pushy, I think of Spike. An' if that doesn't work, I think of Spike and Dawn together." He shivered._

_ "Who're you more afraid of?" Vance kidded, taking his elbow as they headed to the closest tube station._

_ "Believe it or not- Dawn." Joey confessed with a blush._

_ "Spike's the vampire."_

_ "But Dawn's the one who'd kick me to the curb. Spike'd just drain me. Plus- he seems like a nice sort of guy. Once you pass the interrogation... But Dawn... Oh, she's a right little wasp when she's brassed off." Joey's face softened into a small half grin. "Oh, God, Vee... isn't she somethin'?"_

_ Vance caught Joey's arm hard right before he walked off the edge of the street into the stairwell of a basement flat. "Yes, yes, Dear. She's lovely. And she doesn't seem at all waspish around you. More like the flower than the bee."_

_ "You think?"_

_ "I think. You've earned a soft spot in her heart. She'll be pleased with whatever you get her, or do for her. She quite likes you, Joseph Brooke."_

_ "Good thing." Joey paused where he and Vance usually parted ways. "Since I quite like her."_

* * *

><p><em> "Okay, he knows I like him. He knew that before. We don't talk about the kiss, but we know it happened, and we like what happened. Right? He would tell me if he didn't, because he's really honest. To the point of stupid honest. Which is so totally hot." Dawn poured out her worries to Jenna on the phone, both girls walking on their respective college campuses, two states apart, but still good friends.<em>

_ "So we're looking for a gift that says I really like you a lot in a long distance relationship that I wish was closer way, with a side of I'm not sure what's going on?"_

_ "Yes! Because he's- really great." Dawn's voice lost it's usual matter of fact, funny edge and got mellower and softer. "I don't want to pressure, but I want to know where he wants it to be. 'Cause I'm okay either way, friend with some potential for more someday, or boyfriend right now. I think. Yeah. I'm okay either way, with a leaning towards wanting it to get more serious." She explained to her best friend._

_ "Wow." Jenna sighed wistfully._

_ "Wow? Wow what?"_

_ "He's something." Jenna said simply._

_ "Oh, how do you know? Not that I'm arguing, he's totally cool." Dawn covered all the bases quickly._

_ "Dawn, I've known you since you were a junior in high school and now you're a sophomore in college. That's four years, Sweetie. You never, ever, in all those four years, the most date heavy years of a girl's life- went on a date. Never talked about a guy like this. Never. Not at a sleepover, or a dance, not even about guys in drama club that you kissed or any of the guys who took you to the movies as a friend. And now you're throwing around words like boyfriend and more serious."_

_ Dawn chewed her lip for a moment. She'd long ago lost the insecure shell she wore, but this was new to her. And scary. Nerve wracking if she let it be. "Uh- are you saying I'm rushing?"_

_ "Hell no! I'm saying he must be pretty special." Jenna twisted her finger into her her hair, curling it thoughtfully. "You're braver, more confident, more okay with yourself and your life than any other girl I ever met. I don't know why, but I know Claire and I were always jealous- in a nice way, not a mean girls way."_

_ "Oh, gosh, Jenna, I never meant to-"_

_ "It's fine, it's a good thing." Jenna shushed her. "Look, you're all that good stuff. You'll find a way to ask him. Ask him what you want to ask him, talk to him like you want to talk to him. No one ever made you change before. And no guy ever will."_

_ "That's true." Dawn mused, slightly shy smile turning into a feline grin of confidence. "And that's why he likes me. That's why_ I_ like me. I'll do it my way, and keep it pretty simple. If he likes me the way I think he does- he'll love it, 'cause I'm the one thinking of it." _

_ Dawn and her friend talked for a few more minutes and then Dawn hung up and pulled out her laptop at the campus cafeteria. She had a sudden idea that made her smile to herself. Valentine's was always a spectator sport for her and this year it wouldn't exactly be the Hallmark advertisement picture of perfection but, -she typed with a spreading smile on her face- she was starting to like this holiday._

* * *

><p><em> "Do you like that, Pet?" Spike caught Buffy's face in his hands as she moved on top of him, moaning and bucking.<em>

_ "Love it, love you."_

_ Spike ginned up at her. "Good." He let one hand trail down to where their bodies met and teased her nub. "Two more days and we can do this half the night."_

_ "That's all I want for Valentine's Day. Six uninterrupted hours to do everything you want to do. With chocolate." She winked at him._

_ "Chocolate? Before, durin', or after the six hours?" Spike licked his incisors._

_ "I don't know." Buffy blushed slightly. "We- our honeymoon had some chocolatey goodness. But then- you know- with Dawn here, and patrolling, and then William."_

_ "I know, Luv. Less chocolate, more vanilla. Doesn't mean I love it any less. I just wanted to be with you, Buffy. Never really cared how, as long as I got you." Spike pushed her hip back slightly and slid a finger in beside his shaft, his forefinger touching her clenched upper wall as his thumb teased her nubbin, making her eyes widen and she gasped. "Too much?" He asked softly._

_ "No. Not really." She shifted, feeling a new fullness, a little uncomfortable, but not much, rapidly turning into burning pleasure._

_ "Good. Good. See, Luv, I was selfish before. Didn't care if you got the best, as long as_ I_ got the best- you." He worked his finger against her more insistently. _

_ "You cared. You always cared."_

_ "I tried. Tried to show you right at the end. Bloody surprised you didn't let me save you, let me push you away, so you could go have your normal life."_

_ Buffy bent down to him, body arching forward in a pre-orgasmic ripple. "That was noble. And brave. And caring. And I would never have had a 'normal life' without you. Don't ever try to be so noble again, okay?" She whispered, lips to his. _

_ "I won't. Much." His free hand worked against her lower back, keeping her on his rutting cock and pushing finger. "But I'm workin' hard to be damn unselfish from now on."_

_ Buffy's shuddering, milking spasm made her collapse on him. "I see that." She laughed breathlessly on his chest._

_ "How'm I doin'?"_

_ "Very, very unselfishly. But, Baby, you were always unselfish- when it came to Dawn and me. The rest of the world... not so much." She pushed herself up slightly, looking into his eyes. "Doesn't matter. You're making up for it now."_

_ "I love you, Buffy, you never gave up on me. Well- not when it mattered."_

_ "We do that, Baby. We don't give up on each other. Even when everyone did, you didn't."_

_ "Yeah, well I'm stubborn like that." Spike smiled up at her and rolled slowly to the side, keeping them joined. "Besides- bein' unselfish with you is a damn good treat for me. Hmm. That might not be too unselfish then."_

_ "Don't go heavy philosophical boy on me. It's very, very unselfish and I love it." Buffy kissed him. "So. Tell me about our six hours off."_

_ "First you're gonna open your prezzies. Chocolates and strawberries. And then I'm going to eat them." He smirked._

_ "_You're_ going to eat them? How is that fair? Where's the unselfish?" Buffy pouted at him._

_ "Because first off- I'll share. And secondly-" Spike rolled again, pinning her under him, voice low and smoky in her ear, "you didn't hear _how_ I'm eating them."_

_ "I have the basics of eating down, Sweetie."_

_ "Do you, now?" Spike tongue flicked her earlobe. "Let me show you something." He reached over to the nightstand and rummaged for a minute. He rose slowly up from her, withdrawing, making her whimper. _

_ "What are you-"_

_ "Do you trust me, Luv?"_

_ "Forever and ever." She replied._

_ "Enough to do what I ask?"_

_ She swallowed down the joke she wanted to make, feeling the fluttering of heat and a little apprehension in her stomach. "Of course I do."_

_ "Close your eyes." Spike rasped._

_ "Okay." She obeyed, breathing quickening, but mind sending out messages of love and trust and very strong waves of wanting him, loving him, knowing it was going to be good._

_ "Open those pretty lips." Spike watched her mouth open. "Not those lips, Pet."_

_ "Oh." Buffy let her hand slide slowly down to her nether lips and gently spread them._

_ "And just relax. Valentine's practice." Spike's cool hands brushed her thighs and then her overheated center, and she felt something small and cool and hard pushed inside her, making her gasp. "Are you okay? I can stop, you know that. It's just a peppermint, Kitten, an' I'm gonna lick it right out of your pretty little puss." He spoke rapidly, soothingly. For all their wild experiences, and all the naughty little things they knew existed, all the little nasties he'd hinted when they were together the first time- they spent a lot of time making love in the most traditional sense. And it was the best thing either of them had ever experienced. Ever. No qualifiers. _

_ "It's fine. Just chilly. Which is weird, because you're not exactly hot, but- but ohhh God. Ohhh, God, Spike. Spike William Summers..." She moaned and pushed his head down hard forcing his tongue inside instead of letting it tentatively lap the edges like he had been._

_ "That's it, let Spike have you. You're so sweet, Precious, so delicious. Best taste in the world is you. But Slayer soaked strawberries- now that's something no one in the world will ever taste, but me. An' you, if you want a bite."_

_ "Oh, I want a bite." Buffy gasped, feeling his tongue return and neatly flip the peppermint out of her, into his mouth. "And you want to give me one." _

_ Spike looked up when he felt her shift, her hands seizing his hair firmly, tilting his face to hers. Green eyes burning into blue, then amber. "Oh, Pet. Always."_

* * *

><p><em> "Do we want to take the first shift like always? Or should we be brave and do the midnight to six?" Xander asked Willow, snuggling in beside her.<em>

_ "Well, either shift only has partial patrolling. Most of the ickies don't come out until after eight, closer to ten. And most go back to hiding by four, so..." She shrugged and pulled her pink fuzzy night gown over her more firmly. _

_ "I turned the heat up." Xander rubbed her back._

_ "So the best husband ever." Willow sighed softly, rolling to face him, still keeping herself well bundled against the February chill._

_ "Luckiest husband." He leaned forward and kissed her rosebud mouth. "I'll flip Spike for the shift. And we have reservations for tomorrow and the 15th. Whoever doesn't use them on the big V-Day can still use them the next night."_

_ "I don't think Buffy and Spike are concerned about eating out." Willow's cheeks suddenly flamed. She had a vague idea that "eating out" was actually high on their list of romantic night priorities. "Not at restaurants anyway." Willow mumbled._

_ "You naughty minded woman." Xander teased. "Gotta say- not a bad idea..."_

_ "Stop!" She slapped his shoulder._

_ "No. We haven't done that in - we haven't done that since Tanya, Babe. It's a year next month. Wow. Our little girl is going to be a year old." It frightened him, and made him sparkle inside. He was a dad, and a husband. And apparently, a good one on both counts._

_ "We should think about a party. Ooh! I know we should get one of those cakes shaped like-" _

_ "Wills." Xander pressed a finger to her lips. "You just went avoidance gal on me. What's the what?"_

_ "Scar tissues's gone. Everything's healed. Nothing hurts." She whispered after a moment._

_ "Good." Xander caressed her strawberries and cream cheeks with calloused fingertips. "I wasn't trying to push, Baby. I didn't think it hurt anymore. You said it's better?"_

_ "Better. But-well- it's not the same, okay?"_

_ "It's better."_

_ "Yeah, no pain, but-"_

_ "No, Wills." Xander looked at her unblinkingly. "It's better. Don't you ever think you're not pretty to me. You gave birth to our little wonder kid in the next room. You're pretty damn awesome." He kissed her nose lightly. "So let me do what makes you feel good- Mrs. Awesome Pants."_

_ Willow laughed and shifted. "I should be in something more sexy, huh?"_

_ "No. Pink nightgowns? Oweee, hot mama." Xander playfully grabbed a handful of her bottom and winked._

_ "You're such a nerd."_

_ "Takes one to know one."_

_ They scuffled for a minute, until nightgowns and sweatpants and teeshirts were thrown off, scattering on the floor. The only thing they wore were the simple gold wedding bands and Xander's ever present protection necklace, tear drop charm resting on the cleft of his now very impressive pectorals. "Now see-" Xander knelt over her, hands sweeping over her torso, back to it's pre-birth shape and size although having added softness, some slight, almost invisible lines in the skin. He cupped her breasts, fuller and heavier, her waist, still slim, and her hips, a shade broader, but all of her more gorgeous, more womanly than ever to him. "Now see, that's a hot body. That's a sexy, womanly body, with the extra curves, Will, it's nothing if not better than ever. And if that was in any way, shape, or form something stupid I should not have said- will you give me a ten minute head start to go hide?"_

_ Willow glared up at him for a minute before smiling reassuringly. "It was nice. I mean, no one loves curves more than me, Tara-" The words died like someone zipped her lips sealed, and she looked up fearfully at her husband. They never compared. Ever. Never, ever, and never, ever in bed, especially. "Baby? Baby, please- I'm sorry."_

_ Xander's chest heaved once, sharply. "It's okay." He swallowed. "I know I'm not her-"_

_ "I love you. I love you in ways I could never love her, Xan." Willow sat up and desperately seized his hands. "And I'm the one with the stupid mouth. I never meant to say it. Or- or think it. 'Cause I'm not saying that I love you less. You have- ridges, not curves, and -and they're damn sexy!" She rambled frantically._

_ "Shh." Xander stroked her hair softly. "It's okay." He looked at her with a suddenly painful smile. "Tara was beautiful, Will. And- yeah, nice curves."_

_ Willow laughed once, a choked sound, and touched his face gently, noticing a springing tear glittering on the surface of his iris. "You can say it."_

_ "I don't need to. I know it." He whispered, instinctively glad he and his best friend turned lover, turned wife, turned almost everything you could ever ask for, understood each other so well._

_ "Then _I'll_ say it. Anya was beautiful, too."_

_ "Yes. Yes, she was. And so are you, Willow." He leaned himself down, hands taking her upper arms, looking at her intently. "There's no other girl in this world for me."_

_ "And there's no other one, man or woman, for me, either." Willow let her hands rest on his hips. _

_ "That's good. So let me enjoy myself." He kissed her hard, and then moved across her neck and down her torso, making a weaving line of insistent kisses._

_ "I wish I could look perfect for you, Baby. You deserve that." Willow whispered as she felt his hands starting to move into her intimate areas._

_ "So do you. But do you notice anything missing?" He joked and lightly tapped his empty socket._

_ "You got that from being a hero, saving lives. You're not any less handsome- just less eyebally-y. And that's not just massive teenage crush talking, Buster." She smiled a crooked half smile. " Not the same. I was never that gorgeous to start with. "_

_ "Yes, you were." He said firmly, cocking his head. "What's more- you know that. Why are you starting to be all junior high self-doubt girl again?"_

_ She sighed. "When I look in the mirror- I see changes. Ages. Wears and tears. I don't know if I like them."_

_ Xander surveyed her critically. "Nope. Perfectly beautiful. Nothing but perfection." He nodded firmly._

_ Willow laughed incredulously at him. "How can you say that?"_

_ "Well, I could say because it's true, but you would argue with me." He pinched her rear. "So how about this? One eye- filters out all the ugly. Only leaves the beauty behind." He kissed her lips softly, staring hard at her with that one remaining orb. "God, Wills. All I see is you."_

_ "Xander." She kissed him back, and for the rest of the hour, they didn't see anything but the beautiful parts of being together._

* * *

><p><em> "Our first Valentine's Day together. And we're not together. As if there was a together to have. Oh bloody hell, I sound like her now." Joey woke up in the early afternoon of February 14th and knew it was mid morning in New York- and Dawn would be in her creative writing class. Or was it Theater? she took a lot of theater, she was a good little actress according to Giles. Either way, she was working on her "normal life" at the moment. The Watcher was going to be a writer- at least her degree would be in English Language Studies. Her "day job" she called it laughingly. The point being, he couldn't call her now. He'd find a way to grab a couple minutes today and tell her- what exactly?<em>

_ Joey opened his email with a grunt and a stretch. Swing shift killed him, and he hated his new rotation. He hated the consultant strike and he hated having to order Dawn something online, have it shipped to her house and praying to God that she got the mail first and didn't hate it. More importantly, he hated wondering if it got there on time and if he was going to seem like a great sodding jerk if it hadn't- or that he'd seem like a completely stupid prat if it had and she didn't like it. "Oh, Lord. Why'd you give me the hots for a girl across the ocean? An' such an- interestin' one at that? Right." Joey sighed heavily. " 'Cause I might've asked you, too." _

_ Joey scrolled idly through a few emails, team schedule reminders, his dad forwarding everything from off colour golf jokes to Margaret Thatcher's favorite pudding recipes, and his mum bugging him to come home for the weekend. "Oh, Mum... not with the guilt. 'Your sister in New Zealand phones more than you', it's gettin' old..." And last in his in-box- "You've been sent an e-card from Dawn S."_

_ Joey clicked on it eagerly, excited to view this first ever Valentine's Day card from Dawn- and a giant dancing purple cartoon heart, exploding out Heart and Soul greeted him. He laughed so hard he fell off of his swivelingchair and popped back up in time to see her message scrolling on the screen as the music fell silent. _

Happy Valentine's Day! I miss you lots. Here's a choose your own adventure Valentine's Day story.

Once upon a time there was a girl who worried her nosy big sister to death because she thought the girl'd never, ever date anyone. The girl had a reeeeeally long list of requirements. He had to put up with crazy stuff. And magic stuff. And he could be scared, as long as he didn't run when his friends needed him. He had to be able to get past her insane family, and he had to make her laugh. Make her think. Make her smile. Listen to her and talk to her like she was a real person, her own person. He couldn't piss her off too much. He also had to listen to good music. But nine out of ten isn't bad.

If you want to be called boyfriend- email me "Option A".

If you want to just take our time, no rush, no pressure- email me "Option B."

This isn't a loaded question, I swear on my charm bracelet.

Dawn

_ Joey couldn't type fast enough, hitting typing "Option A" with nervous fingers and shaking from laughing so hard as the card began to replay its antics. "What a girl..."_

_ Across the ocean, in the middle of a really boring power point- Dawn stopped typing one of her short pieces for class (under the guise of taking notes) on her laptop as her email icon flashed. Common sense dictated she not open an email that was emotionally important to her in the middle of class. Common sense lost. _

_ Dawn let out a deep happy sigh. Option A was written in all capitals in the subject line and a half dozen times in the body of the email. Like a shot, Dawn hit reply, and copied and pasted the only response she'd bothered to write up before hand. _

_ Across the ocean, just getting out of a hasty shower because the tap was running cold- Joey heard his computer make a familiar electronic ding. Skidding on the hard wood floors in his wet feet, wrapped only in a towel, he snagged the rolling desk chair and crashed into it. _

You've chosen Option A. Congrats, you now have the title of boyfriend, which entitles you to heartfelt loyalty (extra, even more than the friend package), tons of hugs and kisses, and knowing that I'm thinking of you even more than I did before.

Even though we're far apart- we're together in my heart.

_ Joey grinned and beamed ear to ear. Valentine's Day was a glorious day, a day for lovers, for girlfriends and boyfriends, no this whole _season,_ should be for lovers and boyfriends and girlfriends. _Bloody hell- I've got a girlfriend. Haven't had that since- well, since university. Been worth the wait.

* * *

><p><em> "Dawnie? There's a package waiting for you on the table." Buffy greeted her sister with a big heart shaped lollipop and a hug. "Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks so much for taking the baby tonight." Buffy was in a black velvet dress and was fastening one earring as she spoke. "Babies, I mean. We're both really grateful, and I know you can handle it, and you can call us for anything, any time, okay? And you really don't have to go to Giles' tonight. It's not like we're going to be going crazy in here." Buffy babbles and ended as she blushed, knowing that wasn't true, but hating to think she was driving her sister away.<em>

_ Dawn caught Spike's frantic throat slitting gesture from the stairwell, half hidden from sight. Apparently, staying home wasn't the best plan, according to him. "Uh- I know. But privacy is golden, and Giles' left me a small forest's worth of books to read." Dawn looked at the package on the table, and then picked it up. "Speaking of privacy- I want to open this outside."_

_ "Bit! Wait, where's that from, who's it from?" Spike trotted down the stairs double quick, and looked over the box with her. "Smells okay. And it did get in the house. The wards would have prevented anything too harmful from getting in, I guess."_

_ "They let you in." Dawn joked and hugged him. "It's probably from Joey- but there isn't a UK post mark. I'm going to go open it on the porch, anyway." Dawn tugged the box from her brother's grasp and headed outside. "You can stand right there and get ready to save me if I shriek, okay?"_

_ "Don't joke." Spike swatted her rear lightly and nudged her out the door. _

_ After grappling with the packaging for a moment, Dawn, opened the box. She didn't shriek, she squealed, and danced back inside._

_ "What is it?" Buffy asked curiously, and Spike looked on with a knowing smile. Only one thing made Dawn light up like this- in a way he'd only recently begun to see. _

_ "It _is_ from Joey! Look!" Dawn shook out a black teeshirt and held it to her chest. _

"_This Is What Amazing Looks Like." Dawn read the logo, with its arrow pointing at the neck, leading to her face. "isn't that so cute? And he thinks I'm amazing."_

_ "Well at least he's not stupid, this bloke." Spike muttered, trying to scowl and failing._

_ "This is a totally cool Valentine's Day gift. It's just so- me." She hugged the shirt, hugged her siblings, and trotted off with a bounce in her step and a swing in her hips._

_ Spike watched her go, moving behind Buffy, arms crossing at her waist. "Looks like the good doctor would a-wooing go."_

_ "Poor guy. Dawn's not gonna 'woo' easy."_

_ "True. She takes after you." Spike nipped her ear- and then kissed her claim lightly. "But we worked out okay in the end, yeah, Luv? Together an' all?"_

_ Buffy rolled her velvet clad rear against his groin. "I'd say we worked out better than just okay, we worked out great. Very, very, very together." She winked and arched into him again, smiling. "And we're just getting started."_

_ "That's right. All eternity together. An' that's barely long enough." He winked back._

* * *

><p><em> "I'm sorry we didn't have more time together this trip, my Darling!" Giles screamed over the roar of twenty thousand people packed into the main lobby of the Royal Albert, all trying to leave after the concert, the air thick with leftover smoke- of various kinds, and stale ale fumes.<em>

_ "It's fine, Luv! One night is better than none! Should we try to fight our way through to one of the bars inside?"_

_ "No, I want to get to a place where I can actually talk to you without risking a throat rupture!" Giles tightened his grip on her hand, fighting the crush. "Did you have a nice time?"_

_ "Of course!" Vance shouted back, digging her fingers into the sleeve of his leather jacket, casting a proud glance at him. Who'd have thought, so many years later, that she would be back at another concert, dressed in her boots and mini skirt, her hair flying free and her glasses shoved in her old denim handbag- on the arm of someone so amazingly like her. Perfect for her. _

_ "I must thank Joey before I leave! I haven't been to a concert in London in at least twenty years. Not one that didn't require a tuxedo and a stuffy attitude." No one could call him stuffy now, in his leather jacket and jeans, silver hoop in his ear, his black The Tommy shirt untucked and covering the bulges in his jeans- chained wallet, glasses in their case- and a burgeoning hardness that he hadn't meant to have. But dammit, all the other couples were groping and necking in between numbers, couples about their age as well, it felt absolutely right. Vance didn't make it easy to resist. She was wearing a short little skirt, slit up the thigh- so very nearly to his recently discovered paradise and- bloody hell. Walking became increasingly difficult when he thought about it._

_ "I could give Joey a ring to see if he could meet us- oh mind your head, Luv. Oh, no, never mind, I won't call him, he took another shift. One of the new interns wanted to take his girlfriend someplace special tonight since he couldn't do it last night, so Joey stepped up."_

_ "Very chivalrous." Giles finally succeeded in shoving them outside into the brisk night air, scramble of voices now merging with the rush of horns and traffic._

_ "The poor lamb. I think he wanted to be with Dawn yesterday."_

_ "I wanted to be with you. You weren't put out, were you Darling? The flowers were- erm- sufficient?"_

_ "If by sufficient you mean stunning, yes." She watched in amusement as her sweetheart, so scholarly in dress and manners, suddenly stepped out in the road and whistled, shouting "Oi!" and masterfully got them a cab immediately. _

_ "After you, Luv." His voice was back to that smooth silk of precision and courtliness. _

_ "Thank you." She grinned and slid in, purposefully using her thigh slit to its best advantage, making it gape, showing a stocking top. And back came the tiger, Giles pouncing in beside her and grabbing her in a kiss._

_ "Good concert?" The cabbie asked dryly._

_ "Mm." Giles nodded, mouth full._

_ "Not to interrupt your snog, folks, but where do you want dropping off?"_

_ "Let's get closer to my flat." Vance breathed. "There's a nice pub in the area, that one we went to on your second visit?"_

_ "No, I've got one in mind." Giles stopped kissing her neck long enough to join the conversation. "Calvin Lane, please."_

_ "Right then."_

_ Vance stiffened in her seat. "Calvin Lane? Why Calvin Lane?"_

_ "Because they have a pub that Robson mentioned. It hasn't changed in thirty years- no loud thumping bass, or big screen televisions. Still have darts and pool tables and not dance floors covered in foam and fog machines." Vance nodded, sensuous lips thinned slightly. "Isn't that around where you used to live? Do you know the one I mean?"_

_ "I know the one you mean." Vance nodded._

_ "Would you rather go someplace else, Darling? I thought you'd like it, but-"_

_ "Oh, no. I do like the idea! I like the place. In fact I - I used to go there all the time." Vance gave him a half smile. "It's nothing special, you understand. The name sounds very grand but the Crown and Court was meant to be a joke. It's- it's far from regal, or courtly." She tittered, normal silvery laugh sounding faintly uncertain._

_ Giles was too lost in his good vibes, his carefree youthful feelings, to notice. "It sounds like our kind of place- at least on nights like tonight." He grinned. "Robson also mentioned the juke box is in working order and stocked up with Bay City Rollers." _

_ "Lovely." Vance rested her head on his arm and spent the rest of the ride in snuggling silence, mind humming with thoughts. _So Robson told him, did he? Took it on himself to do very thorough research before they'd ask for help, of course. Visiting her old addresses, old haunts...old friends? The Crown and Court might'nt have changed in the last thirty years, but the people had. She doubted if anyone would even remember her. No one expected people to remain the same, even if old acquaintances had been dug up- obviously Mr. Robson hadn't worried about her youth.

_ But what else had he decided to find out about her? _Oh dear, and what had he shared with Giles? Only what was pertinent to helping buffy and being trustworthy? Or everything? What if Giles knew everything about her and he'd just been silently watching her every move, knowing her past and- that was silly. Giles was the only man she'd come to feel close to, besides Joey, in fifteen years or more. He wouldn't be so cruel. Unless he thought he was being kind, by not dredging up old pains, mentioning old events.

_ "Would you like to run home instead, Luv?" Giles murmured in her ear, stroking her hair tenderly. "I've been doing all the talking, and I haven't just worked double shifts."_

_ "No, you've only been in meetings up and down the country since you arrived, and heaven only knows how many crises you've handled or prevented." Vance was loathe to break up their infrequent nights together, especially not such a purely wonderful, fun time, loud music, swigs from his flask, sharing a cigarette, making out in their first balcony seats, readying themselves for a moment of sweet release later. No sense in rushing it. And the Crown and Court had always been a good- if not even remotely responsible- part of her life. "I'm not in the least sleepy." She leaned up to him, letting her lips caress his earlobe. "I feel quite energetic." She squeezed his upper thigh. He kissed her heartily, and she let go of her paranoia. _

_ "Then we'll dance until you can't dance anymore. Not the standing up sort anyway." He chuckled hedonistically, then sighed happily as the cabbie pulled to the curb. "What a lovely night." He held the door for Vance, paid and tipped handsomely in his generous mood, and followed his ladylove into the pub._

_ Vance looked cautiously around when they entered. No one even gave her a second glance. "Darling, what else did Mr. Robson tell you about this place? When did he mention it?"_

_ Giles led her through the crowded bar and found a table near the juke box. "Oh, last week sometime. I told him I was seeing The Who and I wanted a pub that wouldn't spoil the night afterwards by shoving me back into the twenty first pubs I like are a bit out of the way." _ At least the ones I'd frequent now. I'd never take her to my old stomping grounds. She'd never look at me the same again. I can't even imagine the young set of hell raisers I'd run into now.

_ "Oh. Did you tell him- that is- does anyone know about us?"_

_ Giles coughed uncomfortably. "Nothing more than that you're part of our team and a valued colleague. I didn't want to- disclose anything more, even though you're in my thoughts all the time and sometimes I just want to shout it out, what I've got, this lovely girl that's mine." He kissed her wrist and continued his explanation. "I've been a very private person for a very long time, Vance." He took her hand across the table. "I was fired from the Watchers Council, years ago now, before it was the Alliance, before I ever ran it. Do you know why?" His eyes were suddenly flints of hazel steel. Vance shook her head. "For loving Buffy. As a father and daughter. She had no father in her life, none to speak of. He hasn't contacted her once in the last five years. Not even after her mother passed. Anyway- it was forbidden for a Watcher to form an emotion bond with their slayer. And now I actively encourage it. It changed my world for the better." His face broke into a smile that vanished just as quickly. "Nonetheless- I still don't feel terribly comfortable telling my other co-workers about my private life."_

_ "I understand. I haven't told anyone besides Joey about you. Relationships are- wonderful, but only when they last." She gave him a pained smile._

_ Giles' hand gripped hers harder. "I never want you to think that I'll be cutting it short. I fully intend to tell my colleagues more and more about you, over time. A long time, Vance. A very long time?" He gave her a hopeful look, head half bowed, eyes looking up at her from under a mussed cloud of pepper brown-gray hair._

_ She nodded and pulled him to his feet, intending to get their evening back on its feet. "A very long time sounds lovely. And so does whisky for you and a G&T for me."_

_ Giles laughed and bumped along beside her, looking up at the slate menu above the counter. "Do they have any of those terribly bad for you -oh, sorry, mate." Giles bumped into a man a bit younger than himself, knocking him into his very platinum blonde, very fake eyelashed companion._

_ "No worries." The man nodded to Giles, and to Vance- and froze. "God bless us, it's Vix!"_

_ "It can't be, Al, oh God help us it _is_ Vix!" The blonde pushed her escort aside and hugged Vance to her own overflowing bosom. "I haven't seen you in ages, Luv!"_

_ Giles looked at his lover being squashed by strangers and tugged her back. "I'm sorry, you've made a mistake, this isn't-"_

_ "Neil!" The man named Al bellowed towards the room behind the bar. "Look who's back in the old neighborhood!"_

_ "Now, listen-" Giles tried again._

_ "Giles, dear-" Vance shook her head._

_ A burly man carrying a fistful of darts came from the back room. "This had better be bloody good Al, I had ten quid riding on that last shot."_

_ "Look, it's Vee!"_

_ "Vee?" Giles stopped trying to talk over the men. Vee _was_ Vance's nickname. Joey called her that almost constantly. _

_ "Roy! Steph! Vixen's popped in!" _

_ Beside him, Giles saw Vance blanche and twitch as she looked at the small knot of people beginning to crowd round them. "Vixen?" He asked, eyebrows rising._

_ "Hullo, Al. Angie. Neil, keeping fit, I see. Stephanie, Roy, still together, so glad." Vance greeted her old friends with smiles and handshakes, hugs to the women. With leaden body language she turned to Giles, who still looked fairly stunned. "This is Giles. Giles, these are some old friends of mine."_

_ "Good to meet you, Sir!" The man called Roy seized his hand and pumped it heartily. "Your fellow, Vix?"_

_ "Yes. My fellow." She smiled slightly, turning her gaze between her old friends and Giles. _At least until one of you says something horrible. Which knowing you lot will be in three, two -

_ "Well, good on you! Tamed the little tease, did you?" Neil winked. "After anything in trousers for the dance floor, but nothing more. Lived up to her name, eh, lads?" He nodded to Roy and Al._

_ "Neil, you never had a chance in hell." Vance spat out a laugh, partially out of anger, and partially out of old memories that made her grin inside. Laughter joined hers, but Giles remained silent._

_ "Now don't paint the rose redder than it was." Stephanie chimed in, laughingly, hand on Giles' arm in a gesture of reassurance, which unbeknownst to her was extremely unappreciated. "She wasn't that bad. Not like some, Angela Harker." She pointed to the platinum blonde who shrilled with giggles. Giles and Vance winced._

_ "Nah, not Vee. Serious like, went off to be a doctor, wasn't it?" Neil rubbed her back with one beefy hand. _

_ "Serious about the men, too, Neil, not just the studies. Said you got 'em on the floor to see what they were like, an' you weren't stoppin' til you found the one an' only." Al interjected, looking at the dark haired beauty. _

_ "And here's the lucky man! C'mon you two, buy you a drink." Roy pulled Giles and Vance along to the bar._

_ "It was lovely to see you, but we really-" Vance began, but Giles was already telling Roy their order._

_ Vance tried to make conversation, but twenty years is a long time to hold a friendship in one's heart if no one tends to it. After a few pleasantries, inquiring after health, jobs, and relationships (Yes, I am a doctor. No, I never married. Be quiet Angie, or I'll break your fire engine red spikes in the door the way I did back then- you remember why...) and the groups split up. Roy and Stephanie left, they'd been there for awhile. Neil went back to his game of feathers, Angie and Al lingered, so Vance resolutely pulled Giles away._

_ "Oh my dear Lord, I am so sorry, I never imagined we'd run into anyone I knew, not after twenty years of absence. They stayed in the neighborhood, I didn't." Vance flushed as she explained._

_ "Don't apologize for your old friends. For heaven's sake, Vance, I have Spike to contend with."_

_ "Oh, I'm not apologizing for them. Well- Angie was never my favorite, but Al's a dear old thing. No, I meant sorry for interrupting our night. And- they did rather- blurt out some things I wished they hadn't."_

_ "I imagine." He said drily. "Vixen?"_

_ "Oh, alright." She explained. "I'm not a party girl, as you well know."_

_ "I'm not so sure just now." He smiled grimly. "But go on." Not that he'd mind if she had been. He hadn't been a monk, very much the opposite. The past was the past, and love was love. It could stand up to anything- at least in his opinion. Although when he told her about his Ripper days, he'd see if she felt the same._

_ "I was tired of staying at home, cramming for A- levels. I wanted a bit of fun, a bit of excitement, and I loved the music of the clubs and the bands..." She got a wistful note in her voice. "So- I came here a few nights every week, dressed like a tart probably, but when you're seventeen, what do you know? And I came every week for several years, you know how you do with your local. You're friends with all the regulars, know everything about everyone."_

_ "That sounds harmless, Luv. But it hardly explains the name."_

_ "I never had a particular boyfriend. I came to party with the girls and dance with boys. I danced with pretty much everything trousers." Some of her old sauciness crept into her smile. "But I stayed well away from anything_ out_ of them. Mostly."_

_ Giles felt his heart speed up and blood start zipping down lower. _What a thoroughly delectable grin..._ "I see. Not much off the dance floor?"_

_ "I wanted to find the right one before doing anything more physical. At least one that I figured wasn't a bad risk. And you know how it is. Most young men in pubs are looking for a shag or they're bar flies, or maybe just your average louts. So they called me a tease, and I ate it up." She tossed her hair and fixed him with charcoal eyes. "I liked the attention back then. Harmless attention. Got the reputation for dancing- and not terribly clean dancing- with anyone and everyone, so yes, I earned my terrible nickname."_

_ "You seem to have, yes." Giles returned her gaze unblinking. _

_ Vance's chest deflated with a rush of guilt and she shook her head. "I know it was stupid. I know it was risky. I was young and foolish and any one of those blokes could have turned what I thought of as fun into a messy fight to get me on my back in the alley." Her voice and eyes dropped. "When I- when I left the neighborhood for university and practicum, it all changed. Too much studying." _ Not to mention finding the one. The one I should've walked in here with, the one I should still be with, the one I should be celebrating a twentieth anniversary with and watching our own children grow up.

_ "Darling, it sounds like you were quite the seductive woman. Not something to be worried about." Giles squeezed her hand._

_ "Not the reputation that befits a woman you associate with." She whispered quickly. "A temptress? A 'vixen'. And of course there wasn't just the dancing, it was more. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll- minus the most of the sex and not too much on the drugs." She laughed bitterly. "Wild youth hidden under a lab coat and glasses."_

_ "Firstly-" Giles stood and pulled her firmly to her feet, "that was many years ago, and you can seduce me, be my temptress, be my vixen, any day and every day. I love you, and you don't have to hide that from me. Remember- I'm your wild man? Your quote unquote 'badass'." Giles said in a tone of concrete severity, gazing into her eyes with a hazel smolder. "You're not the only one with some shadows in the past."_

_ "Giles, darling, it isn't what your colleagues would respect, not that you need their blessing, or that there's blessing to get , but-"_

_ "And secondly." Giles put a finger to her lips. "My wild youth makes your wild youth look like winter at a nun's boarding school. And thirdly- you know what your glasses do to me. Hide whatever you want under them, just keep those beautiful eyes shining at me over the frames." He winked. "As for the lab coat... I suddenly have a whole new concept of lingerie..."_

_ "You are a sweet man." Vance whispered, relief and disbelief washing over her._

_ "And you owe me a dance. Let's show this room the Vixen's still here." He pulled a coin from his back pocket and shoved it into the juke box. "Robson doesn't disappoint. Bay City Rollers on every column." He sighed, and selected a song._

_ "You're incredible." Vance laughed as he pulled her to a dimly lit corner._

_ "So are you. I know you're always impressed with me because I'm something important to the mystical world- but I'm just a man. With his own problems and his own bad choices. I don't think I could love you less- no matter what you told me."_

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so.

I only know I never wanna let you go

'cos you started something, can't you see.

Ever since we met you've had a hold on me.

I happens to be true, I only want to be with you.

_ "D'you hear that, Darling? I only want to be with you." Giles stoked her hair and moved with her, dark corner seeming suddenly darker than ever, more private, two people locked in a slow, rhythmic dance that was a few paces behind the beat of the cheerful music._

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do.

I wanna spend each moment of the day with you.

Look what has happened with just one kiss.

I never knew that I could be in love like this.

It's crazy but it's true, I only want to be with you.

_ "It's just been awhile since I felt unconditional love like that. It's hard when you're not accepting yourself." Vance smiled up at him softly._

_ "I do know what you mean. Exactly." He winced, recalling a slew of events he couldn't forgive himself for. "There's more to our stories, isn't there, Luv?"_

_ Vance swallowed. "Yes. Lots. But I didn't think I would ever have reason to talk about it to anyone. Let alone you. Someone I'm in love with."_

You stopped and smiled at me,

asked me if I'd care to dance.

I fell into your open arms,

I didn't stand a chance.

_ Giles put his head to hers. "You know how I feel. You- you made me fall in love with you- you little Vixen." He winked, but then turned more serious. "You can tell me anything."_

Now, listen, honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere.

As long as we're together, honey, I don't care

'cos you started something, can't you see.

Ever since we met you've had a hold on me.

No matter what you do, I only want to be with you.

_ "That's how I feel. You can tell me anything. Everything. But there's no rush, Luv. It hurts to let someone in, I do know that. Take it one pain at a time. I just want to be with you. I can't think of anything that would make me love you less." _

You stopped and smiled at me,

asked me if I'd care to dance.

I feel into your open arms,

I didn't stand a chance.

_ "You can't know that. You don't know- what I've done." He murmured hoarsely. _

_ "No. And I can't unless you tell me." She locked those silver gray depths on him so intensely that they shone in the darkness. "I was scared to tell you anything, but I did. I not only feel better inside-" She swirled her leg around his calf and slid her hands down his back possessively, "I feel better outside. Vixen is the more confident, more feminine side of myself. And don't you think I'd like to share that with you?"_

_ Giles caught his breath as it escaped in an erotically charged gasp. "God, I hope so."_

Now, listen, honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere.

As long as we're together, honey, I don't care

'cos you started something, can't you see.

Ever since we met you've had a hold on me.

_ "So let me in. I won't run. And I already quite like the hints of this 'badass' side, as you call it."_

_ "Well, there's only one way to be sure, I suppose." Giles smirked and felt some of the old Ripper daring and devil-may-care attitude spring up. His inner voice reminded him that Ripper might've been sexy, but he was a stupid thug. Lost in curves and legs and music- he ignored that little voice._

No matter what you do, I only want to be with you.

No matter, no matter what you do, I only want to be with you.

* * *

><p><em> Outside the Crown and Court in a matter of seconds after the song ended, Giles hailed another cab, and much like the first time, got into the back of it, still lip locked with his lover. "The Four Horsemen." Giles told the driver.<em>

_ "Isn't that a pub? And not anywhere near here, mate, that's out university way."_

_ "Yes it is, on both counts." Giles answered shortly, too absorbed in soft, hungry kisses on his stubbled jaw to pay attention._

_ "By the time you get there, it'll be after last call." The cabbie warned, pulling back onto the street._

_ "Sod that." Giles waved him on. "The Four Horsemen never sleeps."_

_ The cab drove through the night, and Giles felt the prickles of old magic, black magic, playing with his skin. Vance felt his tenseness and whispered in his ear._

_ "Your old pub, Giles?"_

_ "One of them. The worst in fact. Not one I'd ever take you to, and one I'll never take you to again." He said grimly. "I don't even want to take you there now." And yet he was. Because she had to see him as dark as he'd ever been, the worst he'd been. He couldn't hide it from her forever, and the longer he stayed on that pedestal, the harder it would be when he crashed from it._

_ "So why are you?" She asked, unable to imagine what kind of place would be so bad. She could never picture Giles as anything criminal, anything dark. Dangerous, yes, violent, reckless, wild, yes. Bad- no, not looking at the man she knew._

_ "Because you need to see what I was like. Then we can move on to - whatever's next." He cleared his throat with a hesitant twitch. "If there is a next after this." He muttered under his breath. _

_ The Four Horsemen was down a dark, dank looking alley. "I'm not gettin' my cab in there. No room to reverse, for one. Not a bloody fool, for another. You sure this is the place you want, mate?"_

_ "This is the place." Giles said in a clipped voice, because "want" didn't even enter into it. "Here." He handed him several banknotes. "Drive round the block a few times. We won't be more than ten minutes I should hope."_

_ "Yeah, alright." The driver took the money and zipped off as soon as his passengers had exited._

_ "Darling, really! You of all people should know better than to-" Vance began to exclaim about the folly of paying the cabbie in advance._

_ "If he doesn't come back in ten minutes, the money comes back to me." Giles cut her off._

_ "What?" Vance blinked._

_ "That's part of the dark side, Luv. Only I didn't used to enchant money to return if an agreement wasn't kept, I paid for whatever I wanted and had the money back in my hand five minutes after payment. Every time. For everything. Drinks, tickets, smokes, clothes- bigger things than that, too." He swallowed the damp, black air. "Still want to go ahead?"_

_ "You had power. You used it. I had powers, too." She licked her lips hypnotically. _

_ "Still have power." Giles followed the curve of her lips as her tongue traced them._

_ "You abused it. I abused mine. We're even, let's go." She clung to his arm as they traversed the unlit pavement._

_ "Mine was far more 'abusive', Darling."_

_ "You had far more power. Of course you abused it more." She said simply._

_ "Oh, I do so love a precise woman." Giles said with utter sincerity, placing a hand to his chest. _

_ "Dearest, one quick thing." Vance looked at the cracked sign that hung on the alley wall, showing four truly hideous figures on four different colored horses. "Is this a- a reference to the Four Horsemen of the-"_

_ "Apocalypse? Oh yes. Completely and utterly pretentious." Giles pushed open the door. "As if they'd ever come here. They'd go to someplace far nicer."_

_ "What?" Vance squawked in shock and found herself inside a crimson and midnight black room where strange lights and smoking urns cast shadows everywhere. "Well- it's not exactly- pleasant, but it's hardly-" Vance groped for a word as she looked around the bar, full of hunched figures and not entirely human looking ones at that. she was spared completing her sentence because a man bustled up to them in the dark entrance way and cut her off._

_ "I'm sorry my friends, The Four Horsemen is a private-Sweet bloody Christ! Ripper?"_

_ "Ripper?" Vance looked at her lover._

_ "Ethan? Why aren't you in prison?" Giles shoved Vance behind him and turned to face a long, lanky man with a heavily seamed face and a malicious smirk._

_ "The army boys got tired of getting hexed and I got tired of holding myself in check. Plus, the last owner got eaten during a possession, so I applied for the job." Ethan tilted his head around Giles' broad chest. "And who's your pretty little friend?"_

_ "No one you need to meet. I had no idea you were running this place. We're going." Giles grabbed Vance's wrist in a death grip._

_ "Why? Don't want her to stay and play? We don't allow possessions and summonings here anymore, Ripper. Too messy. Plus- one chant to Eyghon and I'd be dead, and you'd be next. Do stay. I promise not to turn you into a demon again." He crooked a finger at his old friend and enemy. _

_ "Yes, well, I can't promise not to kill you for the last time you did, so we'll just leave." Giles glared stonily._

_ "It can't be because you don't want the dark and lovely one to know you've been a bad boy, Ripper. You'd never bring her here if you wanted to keep her innocent to your past activities. Speaking of innocent- how's that lovely little Slayer of yours? And the redhead? I do so love redheads and she smelled powerful to me...good enough to eat. Did you taste her? Either of them? Or both?"_

_ Vance yelped as Giles became a sudden blur in front of her and the man called Ethan became a heap on the floor, mouth, nose, and eye bleeding from three rapid fire, furious punches. And he wasn't done. "Giles! Giles, what are you-"_

_ Giles had him by the throat and lifted him halfway off the floor, ignoring Vance in a haze of old rage. "You were smart to stay away for the last five years. Make it another fifty, and I won't kill you. Ever come at them, my family, again- any of one them, even a hint, a threat, a sniff in our direction- and I rescind my offer." Giles stood and faced down a trio of thugs that were obviously the bouncers. _

_ "Oh, don't even think of it." He scoffed. "Ripper's not just a name- it's a religious conviction." He smiled a feral grin as Ethan weakly spat blood. "Tell them, Ethan."_

_ "Let them go, and keep them gone. You're barred, Ripper." Ethan sat up, wiping the split skin under his eye._

_ "No great loss." Giles snorted. "I mean it, Ethan." He herded Vance to the door and fired a warning shot over his shoulder._

_ Ethan laughed and had to have the last word. Gloating was after all, the best part. "You always 'mean' it, Rupert. And you're not the type to kill- well, not on purpose anyway. Of course, all your old friends might not be so generous in their opinions."_

_ "You obviously don't know this man." A soft, low voice hit the air between the two men. Both turned slightly, seeing Vance, still clinging to Giles' hand start stepping forward. _

_ "Oh, she has a tongue, does she? Well, I'm sure you've found that out, Ripper." _

_ Vance's desperate grip was the only thing that prevented Giles from lunging forward again. "Yes, I'm sure he has found out- and I'm sure he'll find out again once we get home." Vance countered with cool amusement, walking slowly forward, using her vixen's walk, every step a deliberate plea for attention. "You knew him in the past I take it? You don't know him now. He has something to kill for. Don't press him. It's always the quiet ones who -" Vance was suddenly kneeling over the half prone form, "snap." With a quick sideways motion with both of her hands, Ethan's wrist separated from its socket with an unpleasant click of bone and a screech from him. "Understood?"_

_ "Yes!" Ethan squeaked in pain and shock. Vance reversed the motion and pushed the wrist back to the hand. "What'd you-"_

_ "Dislocations- that's first year stuff. Breaking bones is harder- but I still can do it." Vance was shaking as she moved back to Giles' protective arms._

_ "We'll go. I'd say goodnight, but- piss off and die sounds so much better." Giles tugged Vance from the bar and back into the alley._

_ Once outside, Vance sagged against her companion, utterly mortified."Oh my God, what'd I do, what'd I do, what'd I do?" Vance gasped in horror, looking at her hands. "Giles, I deliberately hurt that man and-" _

_ Giles grabbed her head and kissed her enthusiastically. "That man kidnapped Buffy, mutilated her, set a demon on her, and- and on others. He turned the entire town where we lived into a playground for demons to take over the bodies of innocent children for a terrifying night- and almost got Buffy killed again. Yes, by Spike no less, so imagine the guilt he feels. He turned me into a demon, and told Buffy that the demon-which was actually me- had eaten me, and she stabbed me in the chest. On three occasions he's had members of my family about to be killed or about to kill one another! That's just the short list."_

_ Vance paused and stared. "Maybe I should've broken the wrist." She finally panted out. Giles laughed in the same breathless tone and nodded. _

_ "Let's get home." He urged._

* * *

><p><em> The cab driver had abandoned them, but they found another up a few blocks. Vance, for some strange reason, didn't feel uncomfortable walking in the dangerous London streets at three in the morning. Nonetheless, she was glad to get into the heated cab, and even gladder to get into her snug, safe flat. "Tea? Or toddies?"<em>

_ "Toddies, please. And some antiseptic." He held up his knuckles, cracks in the skin over the bone, bleeding slowly. " I'm getting old. I haven't fought with my fists in a while." _

_ "In the bathroom." Vance nodded down the hall. She made the toddies and took them down the hall after him, catching him in the bathroom, bandaging his hand. "Come to bed?" She asked._

_ "I'm sure you have things you need to know." Giles didn't meet her eyes, but took the mug._

_ "I do. Many. But I can ask them anywhere." She stroked his arm. "I told you. I want to be with you. I don't care what you've done. And I must say, if what you did was directed at that Ethan person, I find it highly justifiable." _

_ He inclined his head and sipped, letting the scalding tea and burning whiskey and lemon soothe his chilled body. "Only some of it was at him. The rest was pure stupidity."_

_ "I'm listening." Vance walked slowly ahead of him towards the bedroom, only the faintest hints of nervousness remaining. Giles had slept in her bed several times now, he had a side, he kept his watch beside the lamp, a string of foil wrapped packets discreetly in a drawer along with his wallet and glasses. He was part of her life, her home- and now she felt like she was more fully a part of them as a couple. He knew about her wild side, though it was tame in comparison. Almost nothing left between them- she hoped._

_ Giles followed her, watching the slender legs rolling and the skirt riding up and sliding down. He took several draughts of tea before he could compose himself to think about Ethan's words._

_ "Let's start with this." Giles had already taken off his jacket, and now he extended his bare arm, rolling the short sleeve up just a hint. "The tattoo, is the mark of a demon called Eyghon."_

_ "Demon?" Vance looked at him quizzically. "But why-"_

_ "You have to wear his mark. Or he won't take you." Giles said softly, gravely._

_ "Take you?" Vance repeated slowly. "Possess you? He said possessions." She recalled Ethan's words with mounting horror._

_ "Willingly possessed. For pleasure. For a rush. Eyghon puts you into a trance of pure pleasure- but there's always a price. One person has to play 'host' for the others to enjoy. And sometimes he doesn't want to leave."_

_ "So you took turns 'hosting' so the others could get a rush?" Vance sat on the bed and stared at him, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. "But- but he leaves? He's not one of the bad demons?"_

_ "Oh no. He is. He loves the pleasures of the flesh- human flesh. Actually pleasure and pain. Everything seems more real to Eyghon when corporeal instead of spirit form. He played nicely for a long time, until he refused to leave. He killed one of our circle. And after that, years after that, he was summoned by someone again- and he'd figured out a trick of inhabiting the body for days, until it couldn't hold it any longer."_

_ "Then did he leave the body? Or did the body give up?" Vance asked with her usual perception._

_ "He could reanimate the corpse, but he had to keep finding members of the circle, who wore the mark. He could only enter one with the mark. It was down to Ethan and I. Ethan kidnapped Buffy, and put the mark on her." Giles shuddered. "That's all he did- but only because he had no time to do more."_

_ "I heard what he said." Vance's lips curled in a sinister smile. "Buffy would have mangled him properly."_

_ "She would have- eventually. It's the eventually part that makes me hate myself, Vance. Knowing that what I did in the past still gets people hurt. And like the idiot I am, I take you there."_

_ "You had to. You said I had to see the worst._ Is_ that the worst?"_

_ "I stole. I caroused. I practiced the black arts. I never hurt anyone through my spells- but actions always have a consequence. I allowed Eyghon out, he followed all of my closest friends from my Ripper days and slaughtered them. The only one left is Ethan. And sad to say, he's the worst and most evil of all of them. I let that happen." He was sitting on the edge of the bed now, consciously keeping his distance. "Do you see what I am, Vance? I'm not the great protector. I'm a reckless fool who let the women he loved be attacked and inhabited by a merciless demon."_

_ Vance paused for a minute taking all of that in. She felt sick, sick at what he'd done and sick and what Ethan had done. She also felt anger, at hearing her beloved speak of himself like that. "Tell me why. Why would you get involved in all of this." She commanded softly._

_ "Because I was told at an extremely young age that I was destined to be a great white knight, saving the world and serving the good. Told for all your life, made ready for all your life- to find out that you might be put in charge of a young woman- to train her like you've been trained, to tell her she's the true great white knight, the great savior of the world- and know the entire time that you'll watch her die before twenty five. And if you ever get attached to her- you'll probably die too. So many Watchers died, always the ones who 'bonded' with their slayers, that fought beside them, that didn't let them fight alone, as we're supposed to do."_

_ "Supposed to do. You're not supposed to fight with them? I knew about the bonding, but-"_

_ "No, we were supposed to remain detached. Observant. Watchful. Hence the name. Not the 'Fighters' or the 'Helpers' or even, God help me, as Xander dubbed us, the 'Slayerettes'. No, we were to watch, be 'Watchers' only. We were even trained on how to stay as cold and unemotional as possible."_

_ "That does explain why they based the lot of you in England." Vance teased, and earned a small smile._

_ "From the time I was sixteen they started grooming you on how to cut off your emotions. All of them, even love. No, especially love, though they'd never say that. But you'd have to feel almost nothing, wouldn't you? To meet a beautiful, young, vibrant girl, only just out of childhood it seemed, and watch her fight and struggle alone until she died a horrible, premature death?" Giles drained his mug. "For awhile I forgot who the real demons were." _

_ "It sounds as if you had good reason to be confused." Vance frowned angrily. She loved Buffy already, after only a few meetings, had begun to love her only after a few days of watching her as new mother, seeing her as a young wife, a much loved and needed part of so many people's lives. "I couldn't do your job."_

_ "I didn't want to. I went and rebelled as much as I could. Found a demon known for extreme heightened sensations. Figured I might as well enjoy the life and the feelings before they were forced aside."_

_ "But you came back."_

_ "Yes. After Eyghon killed one of us. After I realized that if someone doesn't watch, doesn't learn about the threats, no one would be prepared. And the girls, these Slayers- they'd die even younger, more horribly, without us. I took the lesser of two evils." Giles stared into his empty mug for a long moment, before looking up with a snarky smile. "Never did play by the rules. I loved her within a year, and I fought beside her within a week. She still died. But she doesn't play by the rules either. We're still together, no matter what we had to do to -" Giles trailed off. "I can trust you, Luv. I can tell you something I never told anyone else." He met her eyes and asked, "Can't I?"_

_ "You can. I've heard all of this, and I haven't stopped loving you- even though it's hard to accept, and plenty worrying. But I understand. I'll always try to understand."_

_ "I killed a man. A defenseless man. Human. His name was Ben. His body was the host for a god from a hell dimension. The creature- Glory- had taken Dawn, needed her to sacrifice, open the doorway to her world. Ben promised to leave and never come back. Buffy let him go. I- I did not. I should have shown mercy. He swore never to come back, but Glory would never make such a claim. He was as much an innocent as Dawn was, held hostage by a circumstance of birth- or creation if you prefer."_

_ Vance shook her head. "But he would have hurt them again. Could have. Possibly." Vance rose and stood before her swain, tipping his chin up to face her. "I can't say if it was right or wrong, Luv. But if someone might have hurt those I considered my children-" Vance swallowed a sudden painful lump in her throat, "I can tell you I would have done the same."_

_ "She died that night. Anyway."_

_ "Dawn?"_

_ "Buffy. Willow brought her back- ripped her from Heaven. I didn't know, she didn't know... she thought since Glory was a hell goddess and Buffy jumped in Dawn's place, that she'd lost her spirit in Glory's world. She thought it was a rescue." Giles ruffled his hair in both hands, tiredness suddenly making him look his age and more. "That began her- Willow's- path of self-destruction. Oh Lord. There was such a mess. And I left them. Twice- when she died- and then she came back. Bloody, stupid, great fool!" He viciously snarled and tore at his hair._

_ "Darling." Vance put her hands on his shoulders._

_ He looked up at her with a strained face and filled eyes. "Don't you see? The ones I love- they end up in pain. The ones I'm close to- they die. Or pieces of themselves die, get broken." He shook his head in a lost, sightless way. "How can you love a man like me? Not even worrying about my ancient crimes and reckless youth- more recently. How can you think of me as this family man, this protector- when I've lost so many, allowed them to hurt so much?"_

_ Vance slid to her knees and looked up at him, elbows resting on his upper legs. "Did you ever once, even for a moment- stop loving them? Stop worrying?"_

_ "No." One word, rasped out._

_ "That's why." She nudged herself up and kissed his lips gently. "You had powers, gifts, a destiny that would cripple most people. Your 'ancient crimes and reckless youth' as you call it? I'm not excusing it, not condoning it- but I'm accepting it. And as for the recent past- of course I can love a man like you." Her smile was trembling but she pressed on. "Because you're you. I don't even have to have a reason anymore, my love. I'm simply in love with you. All of you, who you are and who you were- they make you mine."_

_ "I am yours. I _am_ yours." He whispered hoarsely, desperately, pulling her to his chest and onto the bed._

* * *

><p><em> It wasn't as he'd imagined the night would end, this tangle of desperate, passionate lovemaking with constant reassurances that they really did, in fact love one another. More talkative than he'd ever been, than she'd ever been. Sweet and rife with angst and hope all at once. He wondered if this was what Buffy felt when she'd fallen for Spike- if this desperation and forgiveness and pure unadulterated feeling of want and need was what she termed so simply as "the big love". God, it was powerful, made you stupid, made you forget, and you were glad for it.<em>

_ "My Sweet." He gasped out one more endearment and landed on his side, breathing erratic, but in time with hers._

_ "Wonderful." She nodded. "Not at all- how I pictured our bedroom scene tonight."_

_ "Uncanny. I had the same thought myself. Not that I'm complaining in the least."_

_ "Far from it. But with the concert and the-" Vance rolled onto his chest, "more adolescent behavior in the balcony and the cab..."_

_ "Exactly. Wild, untamed, unbridled lustfulness." He smiled tiredly and stroked the smooth curve of her spine._

_ "Vixen and Ripper. Why Ripper?" She propped her chin on his shoulder and found his eyes._

_ "Two theories, three if you count personal preference. I hated my Christian name, I got into the habit of becoming _outspoken_ about it. Which led to numerous fights."_

_ "I can just imagine." Vance giggled. _

_ "Hush- Philomena." He tweaked her rump. "I do vaguely remember someone yelling 'Rip him up' during a brawl. "And I said I would do just that. Also might be because I was good at concealing switchblades."_

_ "Aren't you a naughty boy. I find that very attractive now that I think of it." She purred. _

_ "That's the other reason. So many women seem to have shared that opinion. Oh, I was a shameless cad with the ladies. That's past. Well and truly past, Vance, I do swear-"_

_ "Giles. I know. I can tell. Finish explaining."_

_ "I was rather impatient. I tended to- tear fabric." He blushed and became very interested in the ceiling. "Not on purpose. Usually."_

_ "Then you_ are_ still that man. Do you recall a certain pair of red silk pajamas, missing a number of buttons?" She referred to the pajamas she'd worn on their first encounter that had a few buttons lost, from Giles overzealous grip._

_ "I asked you to let me sew them up!" Giles cried with a laugh._

_ "But I'd rather have the memento." She teased and sat up._

_ "Ohh, this is a nice view." Giles crossed his arms behind his head and looked up at the woman slowly moving to straddle him._

_ "Ah, yes, looking but no touching." She tapped his nose and sat up before he could move his mouth to her cleavage._

_ "You _are_ a vixen." He growled, sitting halfway up, taking her arms._

_ "Well, you can't rip anything of mine- since I'm not wearing anything. Are you still 'Ripper'?" _

_ "Let's find out." He chuckled darkly._

* * *

><p><em> "I hope you know that I don't come visit you just to make mad passionate love to you." Giles said the next morning- mid-morning, to be precise. <em>

_ Vance stepped into the shower after him, trying not to stare at his back for more than a few seconds. "I do know." She slid behind him, arms around his waist, lips gently kissing her way across the multitude of gouges and scars on his skin._

_ "You don't have to do that." Giles turned to face her._

_ "I happen to want to." She pouted up at him."It's part of being unconditionally in love."_

_ "You don't know every condition yet." Giles said gently._

_ "And neither do you." Vance caressed his cheek._

_ Giles looked into her eyes, always changing shades of gray. "How many more pieces of the puzzle are left, Darling?"_

_ Vance felt a stab of pain in her heart and tried to force out the final secret she was carrying. But it refused to come. Not just yet. "Just one or two. You?"_

_ Giles saw another pair of eyes suddenly- black and glassy, dead and staring unseeing into his, not gray and glossy with steam, waiting for him to speak. "Just one or two."_

_ "Another time?" She hugged herself to his chest._

_ "Yes, another time. The very next time. I promise, Lover. I don't wish to hide anything from you, but it's just -"_

_ "It's a lot of pain. I know that." She whispered. "I don't want to hide anything either. We just need to take one piece at a time. Last night was enough for a few weeks." She laughed slightly._

_ "You were so worried about your past? And it was so innocent compared to mine." Giles stroked her wet hair._

_ "I didn't know that. I just know I'm in love with a wonderful man. I know I often think I don't deserve to be this happy, that I don't deserve you."_

_ "You're so brilliant- and you're rather foolish." He nuzzled his forehead to hers. "I don't deserve _you_. Which makes us simply perfect together. Each thinking we've gotten the better end of the bargain."_

_ "I like the sound of that. Simply perfect together." She sighed._

_ "Agreed." He kissed the top of her head and smilingly they began their day._

* * *

><p><em> "I'll wait until you leave for work." Giles put his suitcase by the door.<em>

_ "Just need to find my thermos!" Vance banged about in the kitchen. "Cold day, late night. I can't bear canteen coffee today."_

_ Giles laughed and looked at his watch. Drat, he was rather late. "Where's my cell phone? i'll call Robson, tell him I'm catching the 2:00 train, not the 1:30." He patted down his pockets and finally found it on the coffee table._

_ "On the coffee table, Luv. Here, I made you some tea." Vance called and bustled out, cup outstretched. "Oh, good you found it. Let me get me coat and we'll go." She kissed him warmly in passing. _

_ Giles watched her move past him, an unfamiliar feeling swarming through him. He had a family. He had a wonderful family and he was grateful for each member. But it wasn't complete. It hadn't felt complete until her. Until sometime in between the shower and her making him tea. Simple things, but things that said "That's love. That's home. Not the place, the people." It was always the little things that tipped the scales._

_ He drained his tea and dialed Robson, so often called that he had a one touch pre-programed function for him._

_ "Hello, Rupert." Robson's voice answered almost immediately._

_ "Robson. I'm awfully sorry to put out your driver, but tell him I'm coming on the 2:00 train, not the 1:30."_

_ "That's not too bad. Is everything alright?" _

_ Giles slid into his coat, watching Vance return, buttoning her own._

_ "Everything's prefect, actually. Just a slight delay." Vance smiled and winked, grabbing her thermos and keys._

_ "Well, that's good. Did you have a nice time at the concert? And that pub I told you about?"_

_ "Vance and I had a very interesting night." Giles said, words flowing completely naturally- until he saw Vance's surprised look._

_ "Vance? The doctor?"_

_ "Yes, her."_

_ "You took her out? To that concert? And the pub- oh you can't be. Are you seeing her socially?" Robson asked in disbelief. He'd thought Giles would be married to his career and have no time for a mistress of the human variety._

_ "I'm seeing her exclusively." Giles corrected._

_ Utterly surprised and lost for words, Robson blurted the first thing he thought of. "You are? Since when? Why?"_

_ Screw reserve. To hell with the excuses that had kept him in his box for so many years, had made him so desperate to run from himself, so unable to feel. He spoke honestly. "I am. For several months now. Because I'm in love with her." Giles answered, watching Vance's startled look change into a soft glow of pleasure. "Very much in love, indeed."_


	18. Chapter 18

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's. _

_Author's note- Absolutely explanation and tearful centric. Vance and Giles reveal their final secrets. Skim if you don't want to read a lot of emotional pain._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, alexiarrose, Sarcastic Bunny, Buffymuse93, Sweet T-3, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XVIII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of _Starting Over_)

**Missing Pieces**

_ "Chaotic, crelinial, devilian-" Joey chanted into the phone, eyes shut._

_ "Stop. Start over." Dawn said calmly._

_ "What? Why? What did I miss?" Joey's eyes flew open and he immediately looked down at his scribbled notes scattered over three huge, imposing volumes. _

_ "Cryo, crypto, and deluvian." Dawn shifted her phone to the other ear and resumed painting her nails. "You always skip cryo and crypto. You usually remember deluvian." _

_ "There shouldn't be so many species of demon. Alright. Chaotic, crelinial, cryo, crypto-"_

_ "Nuh-uh. Start over. At the beginning. With A."_

_ "Bloody hell, Luv, I was fine until-"_

_ "If you stop arguing, I'm going to throw in extra kisses." Dawn bribed._

_ Joey paused. "You know, not that I don't believe you, Beautiful, but this not seein' each other in in three months has racked your tab up into the triple digits."_

_ "You could come over here and stay with us again... my room's just down the hall." She dropped her voice and tried not to drop the phone as well. _Wow. Was that a sexy voice? Oh, did that sound like- come to my room for- sex?_ Damn. "I mean, it'd be convenient, for kisses."_

_ Joey's imagination made a sudden leap to her bedroom- to her bed- and backed off just as fast. You don't rush that kind of girl. Unless you like being maimed. "I can't this month. Next month I think I can swing it. An' yeah, I know. Just kisses. I'm not oversteppin' my boyfriendly rights."_

_ Dawn swallowed softly. They'd never even had a date yet. But she felt so close to him, closer to him than any other guy outside her family, closer to him than guys she'd seen every day for two years straight in high school, even though she'd only met him in person once. But their conversations, their letters- they seemed to go beyond just seeing a person face to face, more like mind to mind. And faces can change- she thought of Xander's missing eye- but the mind underneath is what matters. "You wouldn't overstep your rights." She murmured. "Just- um- the physical ones are kind of-" She paused. She thought Joey assumed she'd been active before meeting him, it went with the attitude she gave off, that very confident, very aware attitude. She didn't want to disillusion him just yet. Besides, she was so way, way, _way_ far away from the point where she wanted to get physical with him. Well- 'want' and 'would allow' were two different things. She _would_ have to pick someone so ruggedly good looking and so far away..._

_ Joey picked up on the hesitancy. In truth, he was a little hesitant himself. Girl probably had extremely high expectations of what a bloke ought to be able to do in bed, livin' with the sex gods down the hall from her. Not that his few previous lovers had ever complained. If you can run for a few hours straight, take all kinds of blows and get back up, and then go for a couple days without more than an hour of sleep- you've got stamina to please. Rugby and workin' at an understaffed hospital- who'd have thought that was the recipe for sexual success? _

_ "I'm not in a rush. You tell me what's good, when it's good." He smiled absently, wondering if they'd ever get to the places he sometimes got to in his fantasies._

_ "Kissing would be very, very good- but you do have to earn it, Mister." Dawn giggled. "Start over."_

_ "Alright, but once more an' I gotta run. I've got work and then a bunch of us from the hospital are takin' Vee out for her birthday."_

_ "Oh. Okay." Dawn nodded. She let Joey get through the list, praised him, and hung up with their usual exchange. "Talk to you tomorrow?"_

_ "Bank on it, Beautiful. Unless-" Fill in the bleedin' blank- striking staffers, double shifts, mad vampire attacks, evil fiends roaming the New York suburbs..._

_ "I know. Miss you."_

_ "Miss you just as much."_

* * *

><p><em> Giles thought there must be an attack or a crisis about to implode when Dawn came racing in through his front door, talking a mile a minute.<em>

_ "Did you know? Did you know, I didn't know, but if you didn't know I'm telling you now so you don't screw this up and she's coming this weekend so you only have two days to shop and you seriously suck at shopping, I mean, if Buffy and I didn't help you with your wardrobe- yikes!"_

_ Giles blinked at her over the rim of his coffee cup before slowly setting it down. "Is there any point at all in asking you to sum that up in ten words or less, much more slowly?"_

_ "Vance's birthday!" Dawn plopped into a chair across from him, fairly vibrating with energy. _

_ "Well, that was more concise, hardly slower, but-"_

_ "Did you know?" She cut him off._

_ "No." He shook his head. "I didn't think to ask. And I already have plans with her this weekend." _Painful plans. Private plans. Telling her the final secret, about Jenny. Telling her not to take the risk and get any closer, even if I feel like pieces of me slowly tear off when she gets back on that plane each time.

_ "Is this her 40th?" Dawn asked as she watched his stoically calm face._

_ "Uh- possibly?"_

_ "Oh my god. You so need my help." _

_ "Yes. I do. You can go run this list over to Willow and see if she wants anything more tacked on before I head to the magic store. Oh, and you can take William's car seat out of my car and put it back in the Jeep."_

_ "But the-"_

_ "I'll handle it, Dearheart." Giles said patiently. "I know exactly what I'm going to do this weekend."_

_ "Okay." Dawn paused, taking the list from him and reaching for the Jag's keys which were on the table beside his laptop. "Uh- everything's okay with you two? Right? I mean, she saw the Ripper part of your life, and it didn't bother her. And it doesn't bother us." Dawn knew about the Valentine's Day trip, more than the others did, anyway._

_ "I'm not concerned with that part of my life at this point, no. And yes, she was accepting. Very accepting."_

_ Dawn looked at him. "Are you pushing her away?" She asked softly._

_ "No." Giles replied in an equally soft voice. There's a difference between pushing away and not letting her come any closer..._

_ "Good. Because I'd have to kick your ass."_

_ "Dawn!"_

_ "Get her something nice. Really, really nice, Giles. You never bought her a birthday gift before, and this is a chance to show off your skills as the sensitive boyfriend." Dawn pecked his cheek, and then brushed her lips with the back of her hand. "And shave. It's past noon, you bum."_

_ "Leave, before I smack yours." Giles lifted up his newspaper warningly. Dawn skittered away with a giggle._

_ After she left, Giles closed his books and shut off his computer. He dragged slowly upstairs. Dawn might think he was lazing about, but the truth was, he hadn't even gone to bed yet, staying up after his patrol. Vance was coming in two days, and while he was more in love with her than he'd ever been with anyone in his life- he didn't want her to get hurt. He'd thought he could let her in, let her properly in. He'd even considered a proposal. Asking her to relocate. Asking her to wear his ring as a token if nothing more. _

_ And then he'd patrolled last night, and ended at sunrise, a glorious April morning dawning- and he'd found that his patrol had brought him to the park. The memorial garden, to be exact. _

_ In the birth of a new day, in the waking of spring and life and a new season- rosebushes were budding, flowers were blooming, hedges had new stalks, and the trees that had been saplings almost four years ago were finally starting to look a bit like trees instead of twigs. New life everywhere in the garden._

_ New life everywhere- over the phantom graves of youthful dead. Jenny's red rosebush mocked him, the color of blood in the glow of pale yellow sunlight. More than anything else in the world- he didn't want one more woman's memory represented in that beautiful circle. _

_ Giles lay down wearily on his bed. A bed he'd almost foolishly started to think of as "their" bed. When he closed his eyes he saw beautiful gray eyes, sparkling like dewey heather when she was happy, dark charcoal when she was aroused, cool slate when she was serious. "All that's best of dark and bright, meets in her aspect, and her eyes." He laughed weakly. A foolish old man, quoting poetry in his empty bed, like a love struck teenager. A wiser man wouldn't lust over just a mere gaze from his lover. Nonetheless, he did. Those ever changing eyes, so quietly accepting of everything, never turning hard in hatred, even though they might squint in confusion, or stare in awe. Constantly changing, but always the same._

_ Giles knew exactly what he'd get her. He knew it wasn't a wise present, so easily misinterpreted. He didn't care. "All that's best of dark and bright, meets in her aspect, and her eyes." He repeated drowsily, drifting into slumber. Maybe it wasn't that he didn't care. Maybe he simply cared a bit too much._

* * *

><p><em> "Too much champagne." Vance slurred slightly, propped on Joey's shoulder as he let her into her flat.<em>

_ "No bloody kidding." He remarked drily._

_ "You don't have to stay." She straightened up, staggered once before she leaned on the wall, face flushed from alcohol and laughter. Joey had never seen her look this way, so happy, not even a hint of the refined doctor he saw at work. "But you can. It's late."_

_ "Take you up on it." Joey shucked off his trainers and unceremoniously removed his khakis, revealing baggy black boxers. "Aspirin, Vee?"_

_ "Vix." She corrected with a giggle, walking to the bathroom cabinet._

_ "You seriously were called Vixen? That's like finding out nuns are wearing bikinis under their frocks." Joey stretched out on the couch with a groan._

_ "I wasn't a quite a nun." She returned with a bottle of pills and glass of water._

_ "And he wasn't quite a saint. Seems like you two were made for each other." He took the bottle, took two painkillers and drained the glass. "Ta', Luv."_

_ "Not made for each other. Maybe- _meant_ for each other." She considered the empty glass, staring into it as if she could see clear through the world, just looking down. _

_ "No, Vee- not the melancholy drunk stage. You're not properly drunk and I love to see you so happy. So leave off." He urged._

_ "I'm telling him the whole story this weekend." Vance remained focused on the glass in her hands._

_ Joey sat back up, gently taking the glass from her fingers. "That's good. He's a good man, and he'll respect your losses. He doesn't seem the selfish type."_

_ "He's not! He's thoroughly unselfish, look at his life! Look at his job! His calling." Vance was instantly impassioned. _

_ "So it'll be alright."_

_ Vance rubbed at her side suddenly. "I should have been more careful. Still too much the Vixen back then." She whispered painfully._

_ "Shh, shh." Joey pulled her to his side, knowing that gesture he'd only seen once before, and it had meant tears. "You didn't know, and he won't blame you. Not his place to blame."_

_ "No. It's mine. And I still do." Vance whispered, and as predicted, tears breached the corners of her eyes._

_ "You know, I'm riskin' gettin' my head bashed in, but I'm gonna ask. Bein' Dawn's boyfriend y'know, gotta step up, no room for the cowardy custards." Joey tilted her drooping head up. "Would Tom want you to blame yourself?" He asked gravely._

_ There was a dangerous silence. Gray eyes turned to steel flints- and then melted back into silvery pools with unshed tears. "I doubt it." She whispered. "But we can't ask him, can we?" _

_ "Knew it was a risk." Joey mumbled as Vance's silent sobs suddenly unleashed. He held her tight to his side and said nothing until she was cried out. "Better?" He asked when she was done._

_ "Yes, thank you." The calm voice of Dr. Vance was back, replacing the giggling voice of "Vixen" or the friendly, joking about voice of his Vee. Joey knew how to fix that._

_ "I'm gonna think my skills as a best mate are awful, you know. I throw you a bit of a booze up for your big day and what do I get? Sobbed on. Miseryguts. You, ruinin' my hard work." He teased gently._

_ "Sorry to get maudlin." She sniffed and half-smiled._

_ "No, Luv, I know you got every right in the world. But after my party? Well- there goes my reputation."_

_ "No. you've made your reputation." She ruffled his hair and forced herself up, swiveled and sat on the edge of her coffee table, facing the scruffy looking young man on the couch. "The man who throws the best parties- and still takes the time to be the best friend." She smiled at him. _

_ "Cheers, Vee." Joey blushed and grinned._

_ "Cheers, mate." She grinned in return._

* * *

><p><em> "For two people wildly in love, they didn't seem too cheery." Buffy remarked worriedly to Spike as they patrolled.<em>

_ "Gettin' a weird vibe from both of them. Like they want to be alone but don't."_

_ "Could we please not talk about Giles' sex life?" Willow rubbed her stomach with a frown. "I'm all for it, and I admit, he was one hot librarian, but- but now he's like my dad. And my tummy goes all ooky when I think about it."_

_ "Shudder to think what your stomach does near us then." Spike winked and dropped a friendly arm around the redhead's shoulders._

_ "Spike!" Buffy groaned._

_ " Ewww, vampire germs." Willow teased and pushed his arm away. _

_ "Can we stop freaking out the insanely powerful wicca and get back to what I said?" Buffy demanded, yanking Spike to her side with a playful pull on his duster._

_ "I get you, Luv, but I can't read him anymore than you. They seem tense. But he's been happier than I've seen him." Spike shrugged._

_ "He can't break up with her! They're in love." Willow pouted. "Besides- I really, really want Tanya to have a grandmother, and our parents are very, very not qualified for that job."_

_ "I know. Me, too. For William, I mean." Buffy blinked suddenly when she thought of her mother, and how amazed she'd be to meet her grandson, already walking and running and climbing, and lifting small objects - like Tanya, unfortunately- when he wasn't even a year and a half. "I mean, my biological dad is around somewhere. But when he doesn't call or try to find you after the town you live in is destroyed in a Book of Revelations type event, you get skeptical about his parenting abilities."_

_ "Bastard." Spike muttered through gritted teeth._

_ "It's okay. Well, it's wrong, but it's okay. Giles has done more in the dad department for all of us than our own parents have ever done." Buffy shrugged. "And Vance would make a kick butt maternal type of person. But she's like- way young for me to think of as looking like a grandma."_

_ "Giles doesn't look like a grandfather. Okay- he does, but a sexy one." Willow defended. _

_ "What happened to the ooky stomach feeling?" Buffy demanded._

_ "As long as I don't think about what they _do_ when they're alone, I have no problem giving a compliment." Willow said primly. Right before she and Buffy burst into a fit of girlish giggles and Spike stalked off with a sigh to have his cigarette._

* * *

><p><em> "So. Alone at last." Giles placed a glass of red wine before his beloved. "I'm sorry if Dawn's birthday dinner- um- got a bit out of hand."<em>

_ "Not at all, I loved it! You know that, I love all the chaos that is your family. And I'm definitely going to have to do some tests on William and Tanya. It's normal for a baby to be able to say 'no' at at Tanya's age. But saying 'put me down' is - exceptional." Vance shook her head in admiration._

_ "Well, her pronunciation isn't very good." Giles refilled his own glass. "And William can't hold her properly, but I suppose he doesn't understand that at this age."_

_ "You have a very unusual, wonderful pair of grandchildren." Vance tapped his knee firmly. "But they're still babies. Don't be critical."_

_ "Yes, Doctor." He gave her a slight smile, and then it disappeared. He cleared his throat. "I have your gift, by the way. I didn't want to give it to you in front of all the others." _

_ "Oh, should I be searching for this 'gift' in the bedroom?" She arched one smooth brow._

_ "It's not _that_ kind of a gift. Although-" A slow smile seeped across his face, "although I do have that kind of present as well. And since we're alone, you may have it anywhere, not restricted to the bedroom." He hoisted her around the waist, one hand cupping the back of her thighs and settled her across his lap, contentedly cuddling and kissing for a few moments._

_ Vance pulled back a moment to remove his glasses and then her own, smiling down at him. "It's good to see you." She whispered, fluffing his hair through her slender fingers. "I miss doing this. Seeing you for just a night or two every month or less." She sucked in a deep breath. "Not to be selfish. Just I simply- I've always wanted to-"_

_ "I know." Giles thought he knew, and he had to stem the flow of words. She was about to say what he'd love to hear. That she wanted more. More of him, more of his time, and she wanted to be closer, see him more often. And that couldn't be done with an ocean between them. But without the ocean between them- the risks went up for her. "Darling, listen to me, before you say anything else." He clasped both her hands tightly in his own. "I need you to understand something, before you ever think of- of things you want that I can't give you." _

_ "Then you'll have to listen to me as well." She freed one hand and cupped his cheek. "That last piece of the puzzle?"_

_ "One more pain, my love. And then I've got a thousand more little secrets I'm sure you'll find out about if you'd like to know them- but they don't weigh on me like being Ripper did. Like she does."_

_ Vance stiffened slightly. Of course. What else would make such a wonderful man stay so distant for so long? A lost lover. _

_ "I'm sorry, that wasn't how I wanted to start off. I don't know how to start off, I've never imagined that I would- one have to-" Giles shook his head. This was not going very well._

_ "Shh, Luv." She soothed, eyes comforting him. "Don't you think I know? Why do you think we fit?"_

_ "Because there is a God?" He murmured wryly._

_ She grinned that refined, amused little smirk."True. But more so because you and I have the same type of pain. For your 'she', I had a 'he'. Once. A very long time ago." Her lips curled into a wistful smile and then it died as she looked at him again. "Tell me about her. Tell me all about her."_

_ He was so grateful he could've cried, he could've laughed. He did neither, making a wheezing sound as he began. "Her name was Jenny." He touched her lips with a tentative, but affectionate finger. "And she was the second most beautiful woman I have ever met."_

* * *

><p><em> "Hello, Beautiful." Joey smiled tiredly into his pillow.<em>

_ "Joey? Joey it's like, three in the morning there." Dawn exclaimed, checking her laptop clock and closing the research paper she was typing._

_ "Stubborn stalled labor and a uterine hemorrhage . Thought I'd call for a quick minute- before I pass out." He groaned. _

_ "Oh- that's so sweet. And gross. The hemorrhage bit. Not the calling me part."_

_ He laughed- although it sounded more like a syncopated gasp because he didn't have the energy to make more noise. "That's how the babies get born, Luv."_

_ "True." She smiled. "And I'm pretty used to blood and gore by now. It must be nice." She smiled dreamily. "To watch life happening- with blood and ick- instead of death happening with blood and more ick."_

_ "That's why I got my degree." He stretched again, and blinked, trying to stay awake a little longer. It didn't work well. "Oh, Angel Face... I'm fallin' asleep. I don't mean to."_

_ Dawn flushed and her stomach went warm and tingly. Angel Face. The face of an angel. Wow. "Oh, it's okay. Did you just want a status report?"_

_ "Please. Is she weepy?"_

_ "No. Should she be? Oh no! Joey, you would have told me if-"_

_ "She loves him more than anyone. Think that's why she cries. Guilt. Lettin' him go. Really go, finally."_

_ "Wait. What? Who?" Dawn demanded. "Who is she letting go?"_

_ "Not Giles. Someone else she loved."_

* * *

><p><em> "-and she was stubborn, and she listened to the strangest blend of music- cello and violin and- rap. She was brilliant at computers- liked to taunt me with the damn things. As well as calling me Rupert." Giles had rested his head on the back of the couch, and he looked up at the ceiling as he talked, Vance still warm on his lap, her hand still absently stroking the hair at his temple. "God, I hated that."<em>

_ "No. You loved that. Loved her."_

_ "I did. Yes." His eyes fixed on her face. "Thank you for listening to me prattle on. That- that was what Jenny was like." He cocked his head. "And yours?"_

_ "Tom." Vance smiled around the word, as if it was some treat to say, something she hadn't said in a very long time. "Tom. Never Thomas, and never Tommy. Just Tom." _

_ "I like him already." Giles said, fingers reaching up to tangle in her hair. _

_ "You two would've been great friends, I'm sure. Except he was a big Chelsea supporter." She winked. "He was smart, but he left university without his degree. Wanted to join the force- police force." She stumbled over the words and looked at her fingers for a minute. "He was a good man. He was the b-baby of his family, big family." She blinked suddenly. "He had a motorbike that I think he might've loved as much as me, and a bluepoint collie mix named Peter for-"_

_ "For Blue Peter." Giles laughed and nodded, picturing this man in his head as clearly as if he'd met him face to face. _

_ "He was impulsive. He did things quickly, and he didn't always think. Got into all sorts of jams, but never in trouble." Her eyes overflowed suddenly. "He never was in any trouble- until he met me."_

_ "Oh. Oh, Luv." Giles was unprepared for the sudden torrent of tears that assaulted him, the curling ball she went into on his lap, sobbing. _

_ "My fault." She gasped between sobs, rubbing her side in a rhythmic circle._

_ "Here now, he wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Giles lifted her up by the shoulders and pulled her hair back from her face._

_ "You don't know that."_

_ "Yes, I do." He said firmly. "Because Jenny wouldn't want me to blame myself either."_

_ "Well? Do you?" Vance demanded in an acidic tone that surprised both of them. But when in pain..._

_ "Of course I do. But I did have something to do with her- with her death. So I do take the fault, the blame." He murmured. "But I know what she would've wanted. Knowing you, knowing how much love you command, without even trying, I would imagine Tom wants the same thing."_

_ There was an understanding silence for a moment while she calmed down. Like the gentleman he was, Giles assumed the painful burden of going first._

_ "It was the year I was appointed Watcher to Buffy. So- my goodness. Ten years ago now, give or take." He hadn't realized it was so long. It still felt so fresh, that sarcastic smile, that throaty voice. "She worked at the school, and at first, all of us ignored her as anything more than another faculty member to hide things from. Here it turned out she was from a line of powerful Romanian gypsy healers and magicians. She kept all her texts and spells on discs and databases- was always after me to move into the modern day, put away my scrolls and ancient volumes."_

_ "A workplace romance. How very- similar." Vance looked suddenly uncomfortable._

_ "Oh, no. Nothing like this." Giles said firmly. "You and I trust one another. You've earned that. Jenny and I, we made too many mistakes."_

_ "We all make mistakes, Luv." Vance shook her head._

_ "I very much doubt that everyone gets their girlfriend knocked unconscious during a battle with a reanimated corpse, drawn to them by an ancient demonic symbol tattooed on their skin, and then whilst unconscious, manages to get them inhabited by a demonic entity foolishly summoned over twenty years ago in a moment of sheer, blind stupidity!" Giles slammed his fist into the arm of the couch._

_ "Darling, easy, easy." Vance scooted off his lap in time for him to put his own head in it, bowed into his hands in a moment of long passed anger and regret. "You could never have anticipated-"_

_ "But it's my job to anticipate! I was a Watcher, a very well-read one. Why do you imagine they ever let me be assigned to the Slayer after my reckless youth? Because I had something to watch out for, I was the best read one, the fastest study. That's why they assigned me to her. And the first thing I failed to consider got Jenny possessed. The second thing I failed to research got her killed."_

_ Killed. Not just dead. There was a difference, and well she knew it. "The demon left her alive then?"_

_ "Yes. Injured, weakened- completely and utterly sick at the sight of me- but alive."_

_ "Oh, my love, that must have been so difficult for you." She stroked his hair._

_ "Indeed it was. And just as she forgave me for my sins- I found out she'd been sent to Sunnydale on a little sabotage mission of her own." He sighed and sat back up with a long suffering look. "Do you know what saved her from Eyghon? Buffy's first boyfriend of note, Angel. Angel was a souled vampire, but unlike Spike, he didn't choose to love her, and fight for a soul to atone for his crimes. Angel received his soul as a curse from a bunch of very powerful Romanian gypsies..." He looked at her significantly._

_ "Oh. Jenny's family?" Vance's eyes widened. This was very complex, and she was starting to feel a little lost. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but she knew how painful it must be too discuss. She could find out things later, from him, or maybe from someone else. Whatever the case, she wouldn't press too much, and knew he'd show her the same thoughtfulness when her turn came._

_ "Precisely, her family. Angel's soul could be removed by one true moment of happiness. Jenny was there to keep him unhappy, ruin his relationship with Buffy- all of which she never told us. Perhaps, if she had- we could have warned them before..." He closed his eyes regretfully._

_ "If that happened, which I gather it did, the vampire part of Angel would take over? Be just like any other vampire?"_

_ "No, if that occurred, the horrific master vampire, Angelus, would regain control and start a wave of brutality and murder unlike anything you can imagine. Because he liked to kill for the 'art of killing'. He liked to play with his food. Make it hurt more, you see." Giles was speaking slowly, reliving a very bad night like rewinding a tape that only he could see._

_ "I found out what she'd been keeping from me. She'd forgiven me, but I wasn't ready. Not without some effort. It wasn't just me, you see- it had endangered Buffy, and that I couldn't tolerate. So she began to try to win me back, gain my forgiveness. Something I should have given freely, when I look back, when I realize what sort of difficult position she was ins."_

_ "Giles-" Vance attempted to stave off the darkness he was heading into. He acted as if he didn't hear._

_ "She began trying to translate the original curse that had ensouled him, bring Angel back to us. We reconciled. In fact- things were better than ever. She knew my secret, I knew hers." He looked up at Vance for a moment. "Keeping secrets only leads to trouble, Darling. There are so many things I'd rather you never heard, but I know I have to tell you."_

_ "It's better this way." Vance whispered. "It hurts to carry it inside, and just as much to tell. Yet, once you do- you don't have to do it again."_

_ "Well said. Thank you." He gripped her hand. "My strength."_

_ "Mine." She rejoined, flushing, because she knew she was no one's strength, at least, she never had been before. "You're almost done, aren't you, Luv?"_

_ "The hardest part is all that's left." He whispered in a strained voice. _

_ "Angelus found her?" Vance hazarded._

_ "He did. I should have been there. He told me later, much later, when he was- Angel again- where it was. How it happened. She stayed late at work. My school. Our school. I could've stayed with her." Giles blinked. "But I left. He came, caught her. Broke her neck and- and- carried her to my flat. Broke in, because as Angel, he'd been invited. He made the room so beautiful. Red roses on every stair. A love note for me to find. Beautiful music playing and champagne poured." His eyes overflowed, and he looked up to see Vance's had overflowed as well. "He left her in my bed, laying in just enough shadow so that I couldn't see at first- that her eyes-" He started having trouble getting the words out of around the massive swell of tears in his throat. "That she wasn't looking at me. That her eyes were just left open so it would look like she was waiting for me."_

_ Vance couldn't think of a response, just gaped in horror, stomach twisting and her birthday dinner threatening to dislodge. Finally, she stumbled out a tearful commiseration, hands clasped over her trembling mouth. "Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Beloved, so sorry for your pain and your loss."_

_ "I didn't protect her. Let her get hurt, then let her die. I just- failed, Vance. Didn't save her. Saved the world and never managed to save my Jenny. What the hell am I good for when I couldn't prevent one small death?" Giles inquired desperately, fists clenched in agony._

_ She spoke slowly, each word weighted with a shared ache, a similar desperation. "You are good for many things. You are good for me." Vance told him with utmost sincerity, peering deep into such grieving eyes._

_ Giles wrapped her up in his arms and buried his jaw on her shoulder, feeling her own tears dampening his ear as her silent sadness mingled with his. "Is this that true love then?" He whispered. "When they weep with you?"_

_ "Yes. This is that true love."_

* * *

><p><em> After several long minutes of silent mourning, each minute feeling more bleak than the last, it seemed like the grief was too much to bear, the sadness in the room too thick. It was quilting them both, choking them until they couldn't stand to be there another second. <em>

_ Giles suddenly grunted and lifted himself off the couch, Vance still cradled in his arms. He kissed her passionately and bruisingly, feeling her hands come up and claw his neck in equal urgency. _Maybe this is what Xander and Willow felt. What Spike and Buffy felt at first. This need to find comfort. Overwhelming, and frantic, while right and wrong and sense of seemliness were blotted out.

_ "Alright?" He asked, completely gruff, no sweet words, no fine phrases._

_ She didn't have any either, just one breathless word. "Yes."_

_ Giles loosened his grip under her legs and Vance dropped to her knees on the mattress, shirt pulled off over her head as soon as her fingers were free of his body, her casual wrap around skirt a wisp and a flash from hips to floor._

_ He roughly shoved his own clothes off and landed on top of her with a devouring kiss, hands tangling in her hair, then between her thighs. A few less than artful manipulations and he felt one leg kicked up over his back and her hand was gripping him, tugging him to her hot center. _

_ For the first time ever, he didn't say a single word during making love. It wasn't a romantic or even a pleasurable exercise. It was pounding into her, joining with her, to make the pain ease for a few minutes. Distract him from his memories. Stare into those stormy eyes, as changeable as the thunder clouds, dark and light by turns._

_ For the first time ever, she didn't speak or care if her partner spoke. She had reduced the act to mere physicality, an effort to relieve pain and stave off memories for a few more minutes. Once they were out, they were out. You didn't have to bear the burden in silence any longer, but you had to live with sharing something private. She looked up at him, seeing his jaw clenched, eyes closed. Bravery, emotional and physical. She was more in love with him than ever._

_ In a few moments, it was over, not the longest or shortest, not the best or the worst. He rolled off with a strained groan, only dimply aware that he'd been reckless and roughshod. No protection. No awareness of her beyond her eyes and climax rising and fading. What's more- she seemed to know and understand the act, that it hadn't been out of selfishness or lack of love- it had simply been survival, frantic comforting, first aid to a freshly bleeding heart that had just lost its protective covering. _

_ "I love you." He looked over at her, limp against the wrinkled sheets._

_ "I know." She took his hand. "I love you as well."_

_ "Here." He pillowed her into his arms, spooning behind her. "Rest for a bit?"_

_ It was so tempting to agree. But, she had her end of the bargain to hold up. "I owe you an explanation. You told me about Jenny."_

_ "You can tell me about Tom after you rest. Or now. I just thought you might need a little respite between tellings." He smoothed the skin of her back._

_ "When I wake up?" She finally asked._

_ "The moment you're ready. And I'm sure I don't need to tell you that all the sympathy you've shown me, I shall endeavor to return."_

_ "I didn't doubt it for a second." She smiled up at him, and the nestled into his warmth. Emotional exhaustion overtook them both, and they slept._

* * *

><p><em> Vance woke up slowly, shuddering awake in confusion. <em>

_ "I'm here." Giles' hand rested on her shoulder comfortingly. "You were shaking. Are you cold?"_

_ "No. Just- shivery." Vance turned to him with sudden ferocity, mute appeal in her eyes and sounding fairly agonized. "Darling- I sound like Buffy and Willow!"_

_ Giles burst out laughing and hugged her to him, head atop hers. "No, no. I swear you don't. And you won't. I've lived with them for this long and I haven't caught it."_

_ Vance snuggled into his arms, looking up at him. "I'm so pleased to see you laugh." She murmured, fingers hesitantly tracing his lips as they curved in amusement._

_ The smile shrank, but remained, voice turning grave. "Look what I have to smile at." He teased his own finger along the swell of her cheekbone. "Odd as it seems- I do feel better now." His eyes locked onto hers, explaining. "I loved Jenny very much. For a long time, I could only mourn for her in fragments, always too busy with the next crisis, trying to prevent someone else's death. The police thought I had-" His lips thinned and Vance's face turned cold, furious. "Well, they had reason, I suppose."_

_ "Ignorance counts as a reason?" She snapped._

_ "See? If I hadn't shared with you, I wouldn't get to see this side of you. Incensed on my behalf, even so many years later." His smile flickered back to life and she blushed. "My dear sweet defensive- pit bull."_

_ "What?" Vance slapped his muscular bicep with more force than she meant to, making a stinging thwack against his skin, making him jump and laugh, and her gasp. "I refuse to be pit bull. A terrier, perhaps. Even an Alsatian. But _not_ a pit bull." She leaned forward and kissed his skin apologetically. He cupped her face and returned it to looking up at his own._

_ "You're sweet and impassioned on my behalf. That's precious to me. It's part of where I was leading. This fragmented mourning has been so difficult, and another thing that made it hard was that everyone I explained it to was also grieving for her, or had parts of the story but not all. And I couldn't tell them, tell anyone how badly I felt. It's hard being the adult with so many children, none of them yours. Well- they weren't so much mine at the time as they are now."_

_ Vance's face spasmed suddenly and she nodded. "It must be. You're so strong, Giles."_

_ "Tonight I didn't have to be." He bent his head the small distance between them and kissed her soundly. "Badly as it hurts, it's nice to just share the grief and let it- let it go." He felt his chest loosen, a knot he hadn't actually known was still in him, buried so deep under years of silence. "I know she'd be glad that I've finally found the love of my life. You." And the knot unraveled completely, not just loosened, but vanished. _

_ "The love of your life? _One_ of the loves, surely." She didn't want to take that title completely. She hadn't known about Jenny before, and now that she did, she felt proud to be trusted with his confidences, to share his memories and his troubles. But she knew what it was like to have two people you love with every inch of your heart, although at different times. Surely she couldn't be so greedy as to take that title alone._

_ Giles disagreed. "No, Dear. The _one_. Jenny is what I have always regarded as the love of my life, simply because she was the only one before you. Now that I can compare- not that I love her any less, not that I compare the two of you- but the mere intensity- you, Vance, are the love of my life."_

_ She kissed him with all the fervor she could muster, but something held back. "Would you be mad at me, Darling," she asked when they parted, "if I said it wasn't quite the same for you?"_

_ "Not at all. I'm willing to share my title." He smiled tenderly._

_ "Oh, you're the love of my life, " She quickly confirmed, and a little voice inside her said that someday, years from now, he would be the sole owner of said title, "just not the only one."_

_ "The only one now?"_

_ "Yes, of course. But Tom..."_

_ "Here." He bundled her up closer. "Tell me about him. Tell me the good parts. Tell me the bad parts. Just let it out, Darling, and I promise, then it feels better."_

_ "Joey keeps telling me that, keeps telling me to tell you, that I'll feel better, but I don't see how, when it aches so badly to even think of." Her voice quivered._

_ "I agree, and I know. Yet, somehow, as impossible as it seems, it's true." He took a deep breath. "I don't even think I've been able to take a deep breath like that in the last ten years- well, eight, since her- death." He stumbled over the indelicacy of the hard word. "But some little ball of hurt was right there, and it's dissipated." He held her palm to his heart, and placed his own over hers, also enjoying the ample swell of her soft breast. "What hurts your heart, My Love?"_

_ She trusted him, so very much. Those eyes, that warm hand, his warm body and completely compassionate face. The dam of silence broke._

_ "We met at a pub near the university, both of us were in different programs of study, so it was fate, because even though we were at the same institution, we'd never, ever have had a class together." Her eyes glowed, mind's eye seeing him for the first time, lanky youth in jeans and a battered peacoat, motorbike helmet on his knee as he finished a pint- and their eyes met for the first time. _

_ "He was- like sunshine. Blonde and had his hair long when I met him- he cut it when he left school, made him look more professional, he said. Bright, bright blue eyes and a devilish smile. Always like the bad boy who'd been caught with his hand in the jam. But he was good. So good. Always in some stupid prank or scheme with his mates or his brothers, but never in trouble." Her voice rasped over the last word. "Then he met me."_

_ "Now stop that. I know you. And even at your wildest, you weren't so very wild." Giles admonished gently. "Whatever happened, I know-"_

_ "No! You don't." She pushed back slightly, anger on her fine features. "Everything was going so well, Giles. His folks weren't thrilled that he left the university, but they admired that he wanted to serve in the police force, that he was taking night courses for it, while working private security. Well-paying, at one of the big insurance firms in the metro area." Her eyes lost their anger and drifted back again, soft and faraway._

_ "We had a flat. One bedroom with hideous yellow curtains his mum gave us and we didn't want to take down for her sake. He had all his uniforms hung up in the wardrobe, right next to my lab coats and scrubs. I was still in school at first, you see." Giles nodded, but she kept talking, unaware. "Peter slept on the foot at his side of the bed. And every night we ate take away or a fry up, because we didn't have a lot in the way of cookery equipment, or skills." She laughed. "But when you're twenty two and in love, it hardly matters, does it?" It was a rhetorical question, slightly bitter._

_ "He popped the question at the pub we met in." Vance's smile twitched with the tears underneath. "He even missed a Chelsea match to do it." They shared a quiet chuckle._

_ "That _is_ true love." Giles rubbed her back encouragingly._

_ "And it was. True, simple, uncomplicated young love. The world was beautiful and perfect, and we had all the time in it. We would save up for a little house near my mother, since my dad had passed and she was alone, and he'd join the local branch, I'd open my own offices... that was the plan. Until my internship was picked up at the hospital."_

_ "The one you still work at?" Giles asked. She nodded._

_ "I left everything else of his- but not that." She continued, drifting away, but this time, it wasn't pleasant memories before her eyes. "It was a bad area, even then. I was never more shocked in my life to find that I liked it, the making do with less, the real challenges, having real people who need you. When my obligatory practicum was done, I applied for a residential internship and was accepted within the day! Unheard of. It paid half what other hospitals could afford, and Tom didn't even make a peep. He wanted me to live my dream, he said. 'Go be Saint Vance' he used to tell me before I left for work."_

_ She paused and swallowed. "Then one day- he very calmly brought in seven new uniforms and returned his seven old ones and said he'd signed on for hospital security. That he didn't want me to be walking to the station alone to get home, not in that area. That he didn't like me working there at all for the safety factors, but he knew it was the right place for me in other respects. Up and quit his nice, comfy job, even rearranged his night courses- and made a deal with the head of security that he worked my schedule. If I stayed late- he stayed late, kipped on the sofa in the staff lounge or a spare bed in Casualty." She shook her head with a half laugh._

_ "That's devotion. That's true love." Giles praised. _

_ "I know. Everyone said I was the luckiest girl in the world, and I agreed with them. Not that he was a saint, or perfect. But he was a good man." She looked up at Giles, seeing him for the first time in several minutes. "You have that in common."_

_ "I am honored you think so." He assured her quietly._

_ "So things were going well. We'd been together five years total, and we'd finally set a date for the wedding. He was two classes away from finishing his police force training, and I was under consideration for a resident position. That night, I took my break before starting my next round- and I went to the canteen to get some coffee. Usually I went to see Tom first, but I'd been feeling extra tired all that last week, and my lower back- I remember thinking I just needed a quick cup and a few aspirin and I'd go take my break with him, maybe we'd walk up and get some real food from the Pakistani restaurant in the next street."_

_ Giles clutched her closer, hearing the impending panic in her voice, watching those expressive gray eyes he adored start blinking hard, start moving rapidly, as if she were reliving it, looking for something, seeing something horrible._

_ "I heard the lockdown code over the speaker system. Then they were paging me to the front entrance, not any department, to the front entrance and then I was running- and the call switched to Casualty. And I knew-" She started to cry. "I knew in my stomach it was him because he'd be waiting by the front for me... and then I- I didn't even get there in time."_

_ She wiped at her eyes and her head curled firmly into Giles' shoulder. For a long time she didn't speak, and when she did- it wasn't her voice. It was a hollow mockery of her dulcet tones, matter of fact and empty. "Three boys came in, they were high on something, and they wanted to get into the drug supply area. Tom threw them out. One of them came back in a few minutes, and Tom was throwing him out again. The boy had a gun, and he shot Tom in the chest at close range. Heart and lung. Tom didn't make it from the front doors to Casualty. I didn't make it in time. He'd gone by the time I reached him."_

_ "Oh, Luv." Giles voice conveyed a horrified sorrow, jaw almost immobilized in an effort not to weep when she wasn't. "Oh, my Darling, I'm-"_

_ "I wouldn't let go of him. I was on the gurney, on top of him, begging him to come back, to stay with me. I tried to do a chest compression, even though they were pulling me off of him- and my hand- went straight in. There was-a hole. Blood everywhere. And he didn't even move. So I knew. That he wasn't going to wake up."_

_ The hardened voice crumbled into another fit of weeping, this time with two participants, one curling tighter into a ball of grief, and one rocking, back and forth, back and forth, whispering an endless ostinato of "I'm sorry, Precious. I'm sorry, Darling."_

_ "He took that job because of _me_. Me! He was waiting by the front for _me_! And I was a doctor! He was engaged to a doctor, working in a hospital! And he couldn't be saved? They couldn't even keep him alive until I could tell him one more time that I loved him, that I needed him to stay with me?" _

_ "Sometimes these things-"_

_ "_are_ your fault! No matter how they tell you not to blame yourself, you know in your heart you're to blame! There was no other earthly reason Tom would have ever taken that job if not for me. I got my boy killed." Angry tears mixed with the bereaved ones._

_ "A junkie got your boy killed." Giles whispered firmly. "You got him the _job._ Nothing more."_

_ She paused, taking a painful mouthful of air. "I got him the job. The job got him killed." _

_ "And what would you have said if he'd been a policeman and the victim of a shooting? That it was his fault? He wanted that job, and if the job got him killed..."_

_ "Stop it." She hissed._

_ "No." He argued._

_ "You blamed yourself for Jenny's death, and I let you blame, let you say what you felt, Giles."_

_ "That was the truth!"_

_ "And so is this!"_

_ "But in my case-"_

_ "In your case, your Jenny chose to work late on a problem and she was caught by the vampire. It sounds like he was after those closest to you or- or to Buffy. He was a mad, demonic beast, and you were fighting him. You were doing your best, you couldn't be everywhere at once!"_

_ "And nor could you! You were doing your job, both of you. Sometimes these things just happen. It's such an inadequate phrase, but there it is."_

_ Her eyes were hard, but not angry anymore when she confronted him. "Will part of you always blame yourself for her death?"_

_ "Yes." He whispered after a moment's struggle._

_ "As will I. Do you understand?"_

_ "I do. I do, and I'm sorry I tried to- to say something about it. I should know myself, that one can feel at fault, even if one was in no way _responsible._"_

_ She nodded firmly. "That's it exactly." She sounded relieved that he understood._

_ Another moment of quiet crept it, Giles absently rubbing her neck and shoulders. "Do you want to stop there?" He asked gently._

_ "No. That's not the whole story." She let out a shuddering breath. "The next few days were a blur, there were police, and his family coming in- all four brothers, both parents, a slew of aunties, uncles, and cousins- and me and my mum. I couldn't stop crying and I'd thrown quite an impressive fit when they tried to move me from the body, and an even more impressive one when they wouldn't let me have his uniform, but they needed to photograph it or something."_

_ "Poor lamb." He sympathized. "I don't blame you. Such a tragedy and all the others trampling it when you just want to be left alone."_

_ "I just wanted to sleep and I couldn't. They gave me sedatives, but not too many because-" She met his understanding eyes. "Well, you know."_

_ "I do." He agreed._

_ "But I'm a doctor. Prescription pad at the ready, and no one thought to take that from me. Although, I wasn't going to kill myself, not after the first few days. I needed to wait, make sure they gave that boy, the man who shot my Tom, life in prison. Though frankly I would have been in favor of death immediately instead. I imagine you know that feeling as well?"_

_ "Enough to take on Angelus single handedly and nearly die doing so, yes, I know that bloody awful feeling." He unwittingly let out a harsh bark of laughter._

_ "Then you know I wanted to stay alive long enough to see the bastard punished. I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I just wanted to sleep after the funeral. It was so hard staying in the apartment, and Peter of course didn't understand what happened, just knew Tom wasn't there. It took so long for them to even release the body from the police morgue, then the coroner... all of his family was there. Talk about not being responsible but feeling the fault! They knew we were having such a long engagement because we'd both taken lower paying jobs- which they felt was my idea, and they were right, on my part. Plus, Tom did only ever think of working at that hospital because I worked there- it was horribly strained. Not only had I postponed the wedding and delayed his career- in their eyes, I'd gotten him killed."_

_ "I'm surprised you survived that. At least I had people fighting for me."_

_ "Oh, they were kind, sympathetic, said all the right things. It wasn't until a little time had passed and they could see life without Tom that they started looking for reasons. They did try. Especially his brothers. Invited me round every holiday and odd weekends. His mother and father used to always send me Christmas cards, until they moved to a little retirement village a few years ago." She heaved a deep sigh and asked "Darling, have you ever heard of Thalidomide?"_

_ "Yes, actually. A sedative?"_

_ "Withdrawn in the sixties for causing birth defects and miscarriages. In the late eighties, early nineties, they started creating an experimental drug based on teratogens first used in Thalidomide. It was supposed to be the closest thing to real natural sleep, no side effects the next day, no grogginess, no overly realistic dreams, or headaches. But it was still in the developmental phase. You weren't allowed to take it if you were pregnant, and you couldn't get access to it if you were a civilian, if you were a regular doctor, you couldn't get access to it- but if you worked in a hospital..."_

_ Giles felt her arm move away from his, and her hand went to the side of her lower abdomen again. This time, his hand joined hers, and he felt what he couldn't see, small cord of flesh under the skin, no scar visible without close examination. "Oh no. You weren't...?" That would be unbearable. To compound such a loss. Surely God wouldn't take away both precious things at once? Yet, how often had he witnessed multiple losses himself?_

_ She nodded convulsively. "I didn't know. I didn't think, or keep track just then. One day flooded into the next, and I wanted to sleep and forget that he wouldn't be there when I woke up. I sent for the drug, liquid concentrate form, injected it the night after the funeral. And it worked. For the first time in two weeks I didn't relive that night in my dreams. So I took it every night that week, injected it myself, and if anyone at work noticed the bruises- they didn't do anything but offer me tea and to go home."_

_ "You went to work after what had happened? So soon?" Giles blurted in shock._

_ "If I didn't go to work I sat at home and stared at all the places Tom wasn't and wouldn't ever be again." She met his eyes sorrowfully._

_ "I understand. You've got to do it. Keep the pain at bay. Throw yourself into something." He understood perfectly._

_ "A week later I woke up in a puddle of blood. I thought I'd started my period until I saw how much there was." She winced. "I went to work, wondering if I was overreacting, and figuring if I wasn't, my friends would look after me. I passed out almost as soon as I got there. Blood loss and back pain."_

_ "How far along?" Giles murmured gently._

_ "Between a month and two, they didn't know for sure." Vance gave him a sad, exhausted smile. "It was worse, Luv. The bleeding slowed, but never stopped, not after a month. And since it was an experimental drug, no one knew what to do. So they did a new form of exploratory- internal not external incisions, laser based." Giles' eyebrows had reached his hairline and she clarified, "No, not at my little slum of a hospital, at a specialized clinic in Westminster. They found ovarian and uterine lesions. They removed all they could, but there's not- not much left inside there."_

_ He stared for a few moments at her, awe growing. _And she calls me brave. But to lose so much at once, and go back to the scene each day? To deliver a child every night, knowing you lost your own?_ "Darling- how do you still do your job? Everyday, in that place? With- what you do?"_

_ She regarded him with a melancholy smile. "Why do you keep fighting vampires?"_

_ "They're evil. Someone has to."_

_ "And children are beautiful, doubly precious when you can't have your own. Someone has to make sure they arrive safely. To balance all the ones that don't."_

_ "But that hospital- surely you could find another one, or a private practice, you've got an amazing success rate, and you-"_

_ "-try very bloody hard, hospital was all I had left that stayed the same. The apartment was like a living memory, so I left it as soon as I was well enough to arrange a move. Peter pined for Tom to the point where he was like a walking skeleton. His brother took him when nothing else would do. His family and I stopped interacting much, and all of our friends, other couples from the pub, from his night courses- they didn't know what to do, what I could handle, so they stopped inviting me round. The hospital, the work- stayed the same. Most of the staff that were there fifteen-almost sixteen - years ago have changed over now, to those better practices and those better hospitals. But the people who're still there treat me well and let me rush off to do my private cases- like yours."_

_ "I didn't even know... and you helped us with the thing that must be so painful to you."_

_ She shook her head. "You_ don't_ see. My inability to have back the people I love, the baby that would have been Tom's and mine- that hurts. But when you're focused on life and a family, even a family made of impossibilities like Spike's and Buffy's, and the werewolf family and the demons I've helped- that's what makes this world still livable. Because I wanted them back. Tom and the baby. If I couldn't have that, I wanted to help others have something like I'd lost."_

_ "I see." Giles looked down. "You still want them back?"_

_ She slowly shook her head. "I'd give anything for it never to have happened. It did though, and I'll never change it. But, Luv- I have a man in my life now. And if you don't think it's presumptuous- a new family." Her eyes flickered away._

_ His laugh burbled out wobbly, and relieved. "Thank God. Thank God." He pulled her under him, not in a sensual way, in an exuberant way. "_Please_ consider them your family. We've all considered you that for longer than I'd care to admit."_

_ Vance reached up and placed a hand on either cheek. "We're very foolish people, you know that, don't you?"_

_ "Well, I know I am. But you?"_

_ "Thinking maybe we couldn't tell each other things."_

_ "You can always tell me anything." He kissed her smoothly, half smile on his face. "You can tell me anything and everything."_

_ "Mmm, good to know. Tomorrow?" Vance yawned slightly._

_ "Whenever you'd like." He shifted off of her, and curled behind her again._

* * *

><p><strong>Questions<strong>

_ "Do you think they're okay?" Willow asked Xander as she crawled into bed beside him as the day began to break._

_ "I think if they're not, I'm gonna kick some Watcher ass." Xander grimaced._

_ "Ooh. Manly man."_

_ "I thought that didn't turn you on?" Xander gave her a quizzical look._

_ "Well- I can appreciate new things, right?" Willow winked._

_ "Let's find out."_

* * *

><p><em> "Did you see that? Or am I doing that lack of sleep thing?" Buffy stood on their front porch as the day was beginning, key in the lock.<em>

_ "I did, but I'd like to discuss it in a less flammable environment, Pet." Spike chivvied her along._

_ "You've got the vamp vision- was he alone?"_

_ "Yep." Spike's dark brows drew together and he sucked in his cheeks speculatively. "Why in the world would he creep out at first light?"_

_ "Well- he could want to watch the sun come up. Sunrises are so romantic and -" Buffy stopped speaking abruptly as Spike's head fell sharply. "And and way, waaaay overrated. Full moons and sunsets, now- that's what I'm talking about." She laced her arm through his._

_ "I'll walk in the sun with you one day, Luv. Even if it's just for a minute." He promised._

_ "That's sweet, Honey- but you forget- I feel your pain. Literally. I like my Spike original recipe, not extra crispy." She pouted up at him, lips framing for a kiss._

_ "Mm, my sweet little kitten." He sank his mouth onto hers greedily- only to find it pulled back in the next second._

_ "So why would he be going alone? To see a romantic sunrise? That's the real problem." Buffy proclaimed. "I'm going to go ask Dawnie if she knew about any plans."_

_ Spike watched his wife march determinedly up the stairs. "If he doesn't bloody well propose to that bird so we can all stop watchin' and worryin' about them- I'm gonna bite him." He muttered threateningly._

_ "I heard that!" Buffy shouted._

* * *

><p><em> Giles shut the front door softly and silently walked to the kitchen and began making early morning tea. Hopefully she hadn't heard him, just slept peacefully on. She needed her rest after that emotional whirlwind they'd rode half the night. It wasn't her fault that a brilliant idea had occurred to him as he watched her sleep, as he thought about her words right before they'd drifted off.<em>

_ "Hello, Lover." Vance appeared behind him, wrapped in his bathrobe, black silk gaping at the apex of her thighs and the space between her throat and cleavage._

_ "Did I wake you?" He asked apologetically, coming to her with a cup outstretched._

_ "No, the bed just felt cold without you." She grinned. "I got your note. What kind of errand could you possibly run at - good heavens, is it only half five?"_

_ "It's an important errand, and a meaningful one. For our morning together. But you go back to bed." He urged. "You're all in."_

_ "If you're up, I'm up. I'm not wasting a minute of my weekend with you." She preened as he left a trail of little kisses up her throat and snatched one from her lips before patting her rump._

_ "Suit yourself. You get ready and I'll make some toast for the tea." He gave her a nudge up the stairs._

_ "Ready? Ready as in what?"_

_ "As in going out. And wear trainers. It's damp in the grass at this hour."_

_ "Grass?" Vance looked at him worriedly. "We're not going hiking are we?"_

_ "No. I may be a 'bold adventurer' but I have two things I hope never to try- hiking- painfully extended walking without a purpose, honestly- and bungee jumping." Vance laughed and scurried up the stairs._

_ Giles watched her go and downed her tea and his own in two strong swallows. This idea was either deeply meaningful and symbolic- or very insensitive and potentially would cause sobbing fits. He did so hate ambiguity..._

* * *

><p><em> Her reaction to the garden itself was not in the least ambiguous. "This is stunning!" Vance cried, leaving his side to walk the circle of blooming plants as the sun climbed higher into the sky.<em>

_ "Yes. It is." Giles looked at the memorial garden they'd made, and this time the beauty of it wasn't mocking him. It wasn't a slap at the dead, each beautiful life represented. It was reassuring him. Life will continue. He brushed the red rosebush with a smile. "Would you like a red rose?" He asked Vance._

_ "Oh, no, leave them on. I don't want to spoil the picture. It's lovely." She walked between the rose of sharon bushes and paused, looking at him. "What is this place? It isn't just a pretty spot in the park, is it?"_

_ "No, Luv." He swallowed. "This is the Sunnydale Memorial Garden. This is Jenny's." He gestured to the crimson blossoms. "This is Joyce- Buffy and Dawn's mother's." He turned to another plant, and another. "Slayers. Watchers. Lovers. Willow's Tara. Xander's Anya. My Jenny." He swallowed. "Since you're in the family- I thought perhaps- well- that is, I- hrm." He coughed. "I went to the nursery this morning. A silver beech for Tom. A white rose for the little one. I mean, obviously it was a thought, a gesture, not intended to-"_

_ Her passionate, tear stained kiss silenced him, knocked him back, onto the bench they'd put there last year. "Yes, please." She said finally._

_ "They're in the car boot. I'll get them. I thought we could put them alongside Jenny's? Or is that bad in some way?"_

_ "It's lovely. In every way." She grabbed his hand to stop him leaving the bench. "For all the loves we lost, but never leave behind." She smiled up at him._

_ "Not left behind. But finally moved on from?" He inquired hesitantly, soberly._

_ A long moment passed between his words and her response. "If I let him go, it doesn't mean I love him any less."_

_ "I know. And it doesn't mean that you love me more than him. I'm simply here now, and he isn't."_

_ "I'm not letting him go. But I will set him free." She smiled wistfully, looking around the garden. "Time to start being a part of a new family. I can do that, and still love the old one."_

_ "Of course you can." He stroked his thumb along her lower lip._ Now comes the hard part..._ "I love you, Vance. And I was very serious about asking you to be part of our family. My family."_

_ "Oh Giles..." Her eyes widened, surprise and happiness and some trepidation rushing across them all at once._

_ "But I can't ask you to marry me." He set his jaw._

_ "No. No, of course." She blushed in embarrassment, taken aback and confused. "I understand, it's-"_

_ Giles spoke over her."I _want_ to ask you. You're the only woman in my life I've ever seriously considered asking. Seriously considered, as in practiced in front of the mirror." He found himself blushing as well. _

_ "Then I'm afraid I'm less than understanding. I'm rather confused in fact."_

_ "It's my line of work. It's too dangerous. I don't want you to have to worry if you'll end up like your young Tom and my Jenny, dying just because you wanted to work close to me."_

_ "Isn't that my decision? Like Tom's and Jenny's?" She countered._

_ "Yes. No!" He shook his head vehemently. "I can't let you end up like that. Even if I'm selfish enough to want you so badly- I can't ask you to leave your work and your home and your country! No one ever deserves anything so horrible as what happened to our lovers, but you, more than anyone else- I don't want you to end up like-"_

_ It was Vance's turn to cut him off, laying a soft fingertip to his open mouth. "Now listen. I don't want to be one more grief for you to bear. But I _do_ want to end up like my Tom- loved until the last second, and loved even after."_

_ His shoulders sagged and his jaw dropped into her palm. " I've so many burdens to share. It isn't fair to ask you."_

_ "You haven't got a burden, you have a family!" She cried. "And it's all I ever wanted. Please don't be selfless." She took his shoulders, craning his head to get lower than his, find his eyes. "Be Ripper, be selfish, but let me be selfish too. I want what I want."_

_ "I want_ you_." He sat up straighter._

_ "_I_ want _you_". She said pointedly, just a step away from adding _isn't that obvious, you bloody, noble, selfless man!_ Fortunately, she didn't need to drive the point home. It had been home for quite some time, just denied._

_ "Then, will you have me?" _Dammit. I had a much better speech than that...but it doesn't matter, as long as the answer's the same.

_ "Of course I will." _

_ "You will? Will you? You will?" Giles seized her and they rose from the bench as one, kissing her between incredulous, enthusiastic cries. _

_ "Yes, yes, yes, that's what 'I will' means, Darling." She laughed and hugged him hard, her delicate feet swinging free as he swooped her up higher, lifting her straight up to peer into her face, backlit by the morning sun._

_ "I was just checking. Oh, good Lord. I'm getting married. We're getting married! I never thought that I'd- ooh, wait. Wait right there. Don't move." Giles put her down and backed away, as if afraid to take his eyes off her._

_ "Giles? Where're you going?"_

_ "To the car. Now- just- don't move. Please." _

_ Vance watched him turn and trot down to the small clearing in the pines, rushing to the Jag- and not to the boot, to the front seat, leaning over the passenger's side and digging in the dash. "What are you doing?" She called._

_ "I hope this won't offend you, but it's so perfect. I bought it for your birthday." Giles came away from the car and walked briskly towards her._

_ "Why should I be offended by a perfect gift?" She asked with a bewildered laugh._

_ "Because-" Giles held out a red velvet ring box. "Because I thought you might accept it as an engagement ring as well?"_

_ She smirked playfully at him. "I suppose I'll take a look." She lightly batted the hand the held the box out to her. "Do you honestly suppose I'd care?"_

_ "I hope you'll care enough to like it." He flipped the hinged lid open. _

_ A stunning triad of opals on a slender white gold band greeted her, catching the sunlight, gray turning to bright blue with flecks of gold and silver. "Opals, for your beautiful, perfect eyes. Because of everything I can see in them." _

_ "Oh, it's- it's wonderful." She swayed it into the light, watching the colors change._

_ "Happy will you marry me day?" Giles spliced happy birthday and a proposal together with a charmingly boyish grin._

_ "Absolutely, thank you." She slipped the ring onto her finger._

* * *

><p><em> "Are you bloody abso-fuckin'-lutely serious?" Joey screamed excitedly and jumped onto his bed wild eyed and beaming, using an expression and tone his neighbors had come to associate with unexpected turn overs and last second goals during football matches.<em>

_ "I am I am I am!" Dawn screeched out as she bounced under the shade of the tree in the Summers' lawn. "I'd give you to Vance to confirm it, but the lovebirds can't get out of the Buffy-Spike-Willow-Xander-Tanya-William hugging dog pile."_

_ "Then just tell me the short version!" He demanded._

_ "I just wanted to let you know, I know it's the middle of the night there. _Again._ Sorry." _

_ "Listen, Baby, you can call me day or night, anytime at all." _

_ His words made her feel a sudden rush of heat to her cheeks- and surprisingly to her, slightly lower down. "Urm." she coughed suddenly. "Okay, well, it was at sunrise in the memorial garden. Do you remember that place? I took you there on patrol."_

_ "I remember. It probably looks a bit different during daylight and in the spring instead of the middle of the night in January, but-" He laughed._

_ "It's gorgeous! And he made this big deal about telling her she's part of our family. That's all I really got, except that it was sort of spur of the moment, and the ring is opal, for her eyes. Oh, and it was her birthday gift, but it's both now. Gift and engagement ring."_

_ "Well, those two excel at the minimum details. I'll work on Vee, you work on Giles. We'll worm more out of them eventually."_

_ "Yeah. The main thing is we make sure they have a_ huge_ wedding."_

_ "What?" Joey flopped onto his bed, victory dance completed. "Those two? I'm thinking registry office."_

_ "I know. We so can't let that happen. Spike and Buffy got married in Vegas, Willow and Xander got married in front of a judge and they were so freaked out about marrying each other at all that we had to word the vows like contract agreements. Now, Giles and Vance have been waiting the longest, and deserve it the most. Plus- he's got some money saved and he's like the mega head of the biggest world saving organization. He totally has this coming."_

_ Joey laughed helplessly. "Shouldn't we ask them?"_

_ "Oh, I'll ask." Dawn waved it off. "I won't do anything they don't like- but stuff they don't think they want? I'm about to go into the convincing business. I need help, you know. Spike is usually my go to guy for all plotting, but he has so little patience with formal planning that it's pathetic. It's all you and me- well- until we get to the scheming, subterfuge, and heavy lifting, then he's back in."_

_ "Not that I'm not flattered past tellin', Beautiful, but won't your sister and Willow want to help with all that sort of thing?"_

_ "True." Dawn bit her lip. "I guess- I guess I figured we'd finish plotting this out together."_

_ "I'm always happy to be your partner in crime, Dawn. But unless you want a rugby themed ceremony..." He trailed off._

_ "Uh- I was thinking gardenias and opal accents and gray tuxes for the guys."_

_ "When did they announce this?"_

_ "About half an hour ago."_

_ "You've planned that much already?" He asked in disbelief and amazement._

_ "Oh, honey, I've got the menu rolling in my head and I'm wondering what kind of wedding gown to go with."_

_ Joey frowned slightly. "At the risk of havin' my boyfriend status tossed out the window- back off a little, Angel Face. Let them make the choices- you an' I can help it go smooth."_

_ "I'm being a control freak?"_

_ "Some. An' I wouldn't risk the wrath of the mighty Dawn Summers except Vance is my best mate, and she's not big on the wildness. Nor is your dad, from what I see."_

_ "Tastefully beautiful and refined. I can do that. I think. Oooh. That's really not me." Dawn bit her lip for the second time in as many minutes._

_ "Of course it is. You're very beautiful and you've got good taste. At least in men." He smirked._

_ "You realize you're obligated to be my date for the wedding?"_

_ "Obviously. Oh, an' I'll be over next month for sure now. I've got to do my threatening friend of the bride speech to Giles."_

_ "No offense, Joey, but even though Giles is pushing fifty from the other side, he could pulp you like a Juice Master without taking off his tie."_

_ "I'm not offended, Luv, but let me tell you, that even though I'm half his age and wet behind the ears in terms of all this fighting and magical mumbo jumbo- all you'll find _is_ his tie, if he hurts my Vee." His voice had sunk to a dark, gritty tone Dawn had never heard before. _

_ Her knees gave out and she sat heavily on the grass under the tree, the heat she'd felt previously coming back in a blast. _Damn, Baby, Mr. Broad in the Shoulders with the Boyish Charm has a little dark heroic side. Yummy._ "That's acceptable. Boyfriend status firmly in place." _Very firmly_ in place._

_ "You better get back in there. Tell her to call me when she can. No, tell her to call me right bloody quick! And give her my love." _

_ "I will. Talk to you tomorrow?"_

_ "Bank on it, Beautiful. Unless-"_

_ "I know. Miss you."_

_ "Miss you just as much."_

* * *

><p><em> "I'm going to miss him so very much." Vance slid into bed beside her future husband, hanging up the phone and placing it on the bedside table.<em>

_ "Oh. We never discussed-"_

_ "It goes without saying, but I'll say it. This is our family. We stay near them. I seriously doubt they could cope without you for one thing." She grinned. Then letting out a breathy sigh, she added, "If I could just get Joey over here, as well, life would be even more perfect." _

_ "Give him time. He's caught Dawn's eye. No one ever has before, and I sincerely doubt she'll let him go easily. You never know where two people will end up." He moved close to her, and flicked off the light. In a few minutes there was a feminine giggle and a masculine grunt. "Ooh, I quite like where we've ended up just _now_."_

_ "We've never made love as an engaged couple." Vance rolled underneath him, bringing him closer._

_ "Is the ring really alright, Precious? You don't want a diamond?"_

_ "I had a diamond. I prefer this, so that there's no duplicates. You're both good men, but I belong to you now. Tom belongs in my heart, but he won't own it anymore."_

_ "I never meant to take anything away from him, Darling."_

_ "You didn't, just eased his burden. Fifteen years and then some is a lot to expect of one man's memory. He'll be at peace now, knowing someone loves me so well."_

_ "I'll do him proud." Giles kissed her collarbone. "Because no one will ever be loved more. I swear it." _

_ In a few minutes, the kissing and caressing had crescendoed. Giles reached to his bedside drawer, to his little stock of foil packets, and felt her hand on his wrist. "You needn't." She murmured between kisses._

_ "No?" His voice was tinged with sadness, realizing why, realizing all she'd lost, even inside herself._

_ "I'm sorry. I should've made that clear. The surgery I had- it's almost impossible. Considering my age, well the risk is in fractions of percents..." Silver eyes glinted in the moonlight. "Does that change things?"_

_ "I have five children and two grandchildren, none of whom are mine biologically. I couldn't love them more if I'd fathered each of them. Well- don't tell Spike that part, I don't usually include him in the count, he's more my- equal. In a completely inferior way, of course." They laughed quietly for a moment, Vance making protests on Spike's behalf and Giles making a disparaging remark for each one, and then Giles continued. "If you're satisfied, Luv, I've got all the family I could ever want. Now that you're in it, that is."_

_ "Joey is like my son, even though he's just slightly too old to be mine. If I include him, then yes. I have all the family I could ever want to love."_

_ "If he's like your son, then I consider him mine as well. Both of you will be part of this madcap bunch."_

_ "Lovely. But I'm not quite satisfied yet." She arched one brow, arching her hips as well._

_ "Ah. I've got a job to do." He grabbed her by the waist, dipping his head to tease the skin on her throat. "I'll do it better than ever. Now that I can feel you. Against me." He slid his tip against her folds, almost ashamed and yet oddly pleased, that she was the only woman he'd ever been intimate with without something between them. But if there was no risk, and there was no change of pregnancy, and she was to be his wife..._

_ "You already did." Vance reminded him. "Last night?" _

_ "I'm sad to say I couldn't... I couldn't appreciate it properly."_

_ "I know. It wasn't so much lovemaking as it was just joining to get the pressure out of our minds and someplace more pleasurable."_

_ "I fully intend to rectify my earlier transgression. I'm going to enjoy this like it was the first time. Fully. Lovingly. Possibly until morning."_

_ "I do love the way you think."_

* * *

><p><em>Two days later...<em>

_ "What do you think about what Giles told us?" Buffy sat up beside Spike, propped listlessly on the couch, watching William play with his building blocks in the center of the floor._

_ "That the doctor lady has grit. More than you'd think under that pretty, toffee- nosed exterior."_

_ "True. But- about her baby?"_

_ "Tragic." Spike's eyes locked onto William. "Hey, Daddy's boy. Say Daddy. Say Mummy."_

_ "Mmmm- mmm." William smiled and looked at Buffy._

_ "Do you remember how bad it hurt? When we thought we were always going to be a duo instead of a trio?"_

_ "I remember." Spike did, very well. Crying with his wife, feeling the pain of knowing you had more love to give, wondering if you'd ever be a good parent anyway, and hating the fact that you'd never even get to try. He reached for Buffy's hand. "All we can do is ask 'em."_

_ "Ask them? Wh-what do you mean?" Buffy started guiltily._

_ "Oh c'mon, Pet, I can read you like a book. Better." He smirked sneakily. "You can't taste an' smell books like I can get involved in you." He leaned over to her and pulled her astride his lap, hands rubbing in sensuous swirls across her lower back._

_ "Stop, the baby..." Buffy giggled, casting a significant look at William._

_ "William- look this way, mate." Spike called._

_ "Spike!"_

_ "Hush, woman. I'm helpin' the boy learn things. See this?" Spike turned Buffy's face from his to their son. "This is the woman I love. This is my wife, your mum. When you love someone, you squeeze 'em tight." Spike hugged her and made her squeal. "You love a person no matter what they look like, or how old they are, or what they've done, an' you never give up on 'em. Clear?"_

_ William stared with his wide green eyes, and made a little spit bubble as he cooed silently._

_ "He gets it." Spike said confidently._

_ "Oh, c' mon, how can you tell?"_

_ "I know." Spike said firmly. "He gets it. Now, call Rupes. Tell 'em we've got one magic baby maker, no waiting."_

_ "You would do that for them?" Buffy's eyes welled instantly._

_ "Maybe not. But I'd do it for you." Spike shrugged, trying to look blasé ._

_ "Aww. You can't fool me." Buffy squealed and kissed her husband hard and fast. "You're the best! Your daddy is the_ best_." She turned to William who smiled broadly and chewed on one chubby fist. "You're right, he does get it." She grinned. "I'll go call." She bounced up and off of him, finding her cell phone._

_ Spike watched her go, picking up his son as she left the room. "Second time this week Gramps has gotten me done out of a good snog with your mummy." He cast a baleful glare up the street. "About time he had a woman of his own. On_ this_ soddin' continent."_

_ "I can't tell him on the phone." Buffy came back down the stairs, phone in hand and a windbreaker on. "I'm going to pop in. Do you want to come?"_

_ "I'll stay with the boy." Spike ruffled his hair. "Come home soon, Luv."_

_ "Will do."_

* * *

><p><em> Giles opened the door to Buffy, on his phone, speaking angrily in either Mandarin or Cantonese, or maybe Japanese, Buffy sucked at languages. He motioned her inside and Buffy watched him race back to his dining room table, picking up a Cantonese to English dictionary. "Where is it, where is it...ah." Giles said something with an emphatic tone. Then yelped. "Oh no. No, I'm sorry, not your husband... umm. Ah, here it is- hybrid." More broken Cantonese.<em>

_ Buffy suppressed laughter as her father figure spent ten minutes creating a botched explanation, finally hanging up the phone with a shudder. "Trouble?" She asked, crossing her arms._

_ "I very nearly told Ms. Shen that her Kam- fei demon was her husband, instead of a hybrid. Fortunately she's unmarried and didn't take offense. Much. What brings you here?"_

_ "The stuff you told us last night on patrol. About Vance."_

_ Giles drew himself up warningly. "Yes?"_

_ "Whoa, Watcher-Mine! Easy with the defensiveness."_

_ "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit on edge. We agreed to fill in our respective family members on anything serious we thought they should know. That being said, Tom and their unborn child's loss are deeply painful to Vance, even as she works to move forward. You mustn't push. Wait for her to share more."_

_ "No! No, I am non-pushy girl, honest." Buffy shook her head frantically. "We- me and Spike, um, we know what that's like. A-and you probably more. 'Cause you and Vance are older- well, not older than Spike, but older in a way because of the maturity thing, because he's still like thirty in brain years, but anyway, you two are so wonderful with kids and so smart and loving and you have skills and- and you're both normal. In a good way!" Buffy rambled. "Ordinary. NO! I mean- special but just human."_

_ Giles smacked a palm to Buffy's forehead the instant she ceased babbling. "You don't feel warm. Did you bump your head? Ingest herbs? Eat Spike's cooking?"_

_ "What are you talking about?"_

_ "No, what are _you_ talking about? I've gotten nothing out of that torrent of words besides the fact that Vance and I are apparently old, mature, wonderful, ordinary people. Oh, and Spike is 'thirty in brain years'. _That's_ going on the fridge."_

_ "Gi-iles!" Buffy's segmented whine pierced his cocky grin. "You and Vance. Don't you- maybe want a little bitty Vance or Giles?"_

_ Giles reached out and lightly caressed her cheek, surprised and moved. "I'd much rather have a petite Buffy." _

_ "But- Vance... doesn't she want a baby? She's not that old."_

_ "No, she's not, but she wants to love my 'children' like her own. Plus Joseph. And the grandchildren! I don't know if I want a baby younger than my grandchildren. It might be odd, to say the least."_

_ "I'm sorry- you're family consists of a Slayer, a Watcher Jr., a vampire, a witch, and a demon fighter with one eye, a super strong baby boy and a baby girl who's already using complete sentences and makes phones ring by thinking hard. You don't get to worry about 'odd'." She glared._

_ "You should save that talisman for you, Buffy. Vance and I could adopt. We could choose a surrogate. We could attempt magical reconstructive surgery, although that's not wise. Actually- not to brag, and nor would I ever condone it- but if I ever wanted to abuse my powers as the former head Watchers did, I could _buy_ a child."_

_ "What are you saying? You're not even going to ask her if she wants to?"_

_ "I will ask. And I'll get back to you."_

_ "Okay. Yeah. The offer stands. Spike agreed."_

_ Giles sat on the arm of the couch and looked at her eye to eye. "That was kind of him. Especially since he has no other options, and we do."_

_ "He's not the same Spike we first met, that's for sure." She grinned crookedly. "Love really does make miracles."_

_ "Yes. I see that." For the first time in a very long time, he was seeing it himself, first hand._

* * *

><p><em> "You're asking if I want to use the miracle talisman?" Vance shoved a load of laundry into the machine as she cradled the phone on her shoulder.<em>

_ "Yes." Giles held his breath._

_ "Are you holding your breath?"_

_ "Of course not!"_

_ "Giles." She warned._

_ "Oh, very well. I was, but only because I was- eager -to hear your answer." He smarmed._

_ "Dear Lord." She tittered, silvery laugh bringing an instant smile to his lips. "What do you want, Darling?"_

_ "To make you happy."_

_ "You've already succeeded. What do you_ want_?"_

_ Giles paused and considered, trying to listen to his inner man, and find something he truly wanted. "Honestly? I can't find anything I want more than to love you and say, for the first and only time in my life, 'May I introduce my lovely wife?'."_

_ "Oh, Giles, you're so easy to please..."_

_ "I want to please you. I want to give you everything you want. If you'd like a child, I would be honored to raise one with you. I don't think we need divine intervention, however."_

_ Vance's smile was audible through the phone. "I think there are two very lovely children in need of some additional raising, right down the street from your home."_

_ "_Our_ home." He corrected._

_ "Yes, before too long, _our home. _They need all the help they can get, such special children, parents with such dangerous jobs. Do you think- do you think instead of patrolling- they'd let me be the official babysitter? When I'm not helping with medical things?"_

_ "It would be a godsend. We're all stretched a bit thin." Giles breathed a sigh of relief. "But- I don't want to deprive you, Lover. You've lost so much that I can't give back." He was being unselfish, and genuinely did want to give his Vance the world and all it held. He just couldn't really contemplate fatherhood to an infant- he felt as though he was finally managing to grasp fatherhood to young adults and didn't want to start all over. Being a grandfather was immensely easier. One felt responsible- but with less worry- after all, you weren't the only one responsible for the child._

_ "Sweetheart, I think I'll be quite content with all your 'adopted' offspring and the two little ones. Don't worry about what you can't give back." She smiled as she left the laundry room and crashed onto her sofa, eyes straying to the photo album Dawn had made her for Christmas as it sat open on her coffee table. The pages were parted at a group shot, done by an automatic timer on the camera. All of them were around the Rosenberg-Harris living room, faces frozen in pinched smiles as they waited for the timer to beep and the camera to flash. _

_ "I know it's pointless to worry about things I can't get back for you, Luv, but I do." Giles sighed._

_ Vance's eyes traveled from her beringed hand to the photo album and back. "Focus on all you have given me, Darling. I have more than enough to be grateful for."_

* * *

><p>Author's note: Dear readers- please hang in there through this second to last chapter of GilesVance-centric story. The next chapter will contain the stag night and the wedding ceremony we've all been waiting for. I know this is supposed to be a Spuffy fic- but Giles has earned himself some happiness and I'm going to see that he gets it!


	19. Chapter 19

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_This chapter is for those wanted to see a little more of Vance and Giles' story, and Dawn and Joey's. _

_Author's note- Moving forward- slowly- lots of little realizations, nothing major. but everyday life is made up of the little moments._

_Dedicated to Hannah the Bloody, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, alexiarrose, Sarcastic Bunny, Buffymuse93, Sweet T-3, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XIX

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of _Starting Over_)

_"__Are __you __actually __gonna __read __the __Elegant __Bride__'__s __Magazine __or __just __curl __the __pages?__" __Joey __leaned __across __the __cramped __seats __of __the __plane __and __hissed __at __Vance._

_ "Hm? Oh." Vance guiltily dropped the magazine. "I don't know why I bought that silly thing anyway. It's not as if we're young and impetuous, throwing money around on white doves and dresses with trains a mile long." She crossed her shapely legs and sighed._

_ "No, you're mature, an' you've waited a bloody long time for this. Go for the birds an' the big dress. Go for engraved napkins and ice sculptures. You two earned this the hard way." Joey retrieved the magazine from the floor. "Besides, the way Dawn tells it, you've got three 'daughters' who are foamin' at the mouth to have a big, beautiful ceremony, the first in their family."_

_ "Dirty pull. Using 'daughters' and 'family' in the same sentence." Vance grumbled good naturedly. She flipped through the pages and sighed a second time. "Almost all of these pictures are in daylight. It makes it hard for me to get a good mental image. We'll have to do it at night."_

_ "Not really, Spike could just keep to the shadows until he's inside." Joey wanted her to have the day of her dreams, sunlight or moonlight._

_ "I know, but an evening wedding- a candlelit chapel... it'd be so pretty." She gave him a girlish smile, as if unable to help herself._

_ "That's right, Luv, you enjoy it. I'm gonna get a bit of shut eye before we land. Because once we do, it's going to be hectic..."_

* * *

><p><em> "This is the list so far." Willow sat cross legged on the floor in her living room while Buffy and Dawn sprawled over the arm of the couch and the back of an armchair, respectively, clip boards in hand. "I have a list of scenic churches and reception halls, I have three bakers lined up for tastings, I have four florists who're in the area that they can stop at, and I have three formalwear stores. What am I missing?"<em>

_ "Music." Dawn said quickly._

_ "Caterers." Buffy added._

_ "Your mind?" Xander cried from the basement stairs, coming up, sweating slightly from training. "Will, guys- you can't hogtie them and drag them to all these places! It's Vance and Giles. G-Man and the good doctor! They don't need to be given a list of things to do."_

_ His three companions speared him with their looks. "Xander..." Buffy said warningly._

_ "You forgot jewelers." Xander quailed and caved under her heated gaze. "Good luck!"_

_ "She _is_ only here for a long weekend." Willow conceded nervously chewing on her pen cap. "They haven't even set a date. We can just give them the list and say we want to go with them when they go to check out these places." She suggested._

_ "But I want to shop now." Buffy pouted._

_ "Whine much?" Dawn tossed a throw pillow at her sister. "Some of us are going to be very preoccupied without shopping." She folded her arms._

_ "Ooooh, Dawnie and Joey sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g." Willow and Buffy giggled and chanted._

_ "Do you realize how bad it is, when _I'm_ the mature one?" Dawn huffed, and blushed, getting up. "I'll leave you two to start a nice game of hopscotch or jumprope. I'm going to go see if I can help Dad-man before he spontaneously combusts."_

* * *

><p><em> "God-bloody-dammit!" Giles cursed heartily as Dawn entered the house. Not at her- at the pile of odds and ends he was carrying from the second floor to the first floor. He lost his grip on one item and the rest started tumbling.<em>

_ "Hi, to you too." Dawn grinned and hurried over to help him._

_ "Oh, Dearheart, I'm sorry, I just- dammit!" Giles skidded on a children's book and nearly sailed the rest of the way down the staircase sans steps._

_ "Cleaning. I got it."_

_ "How in heaven's name did I accumulate so much in four years? I started with a duffle bag or two- and now look." The graying man, dressed in jeans and navy polo shirt dumped his armfuls on the couch, along with the items that Dawn had scraped up. _

_ "Well, to be fair, I don't think any of these are yours." Dawn started hurriedly piling things into groups to give back to the rightful owners. _

_ "No, I realize that. But still- Vance's belongings will have to fit in here- oh, and this habit we all have of walking into each other's houses with barely a knock-"_

_ "You get why Spike used to seem so edgy. But privacy is so overrated. Just keep to this simple rule- don't do it in a room without a lock on the door."_

_ "Yes, thank you, I had figured out that much. I just hope she doesn't mind the lack of privacy. And I hope all of _you_ don't mind that there'll be more of it." Giles worriedly ran a hand through his hair. _

_ "Don't worry, you'll find a balance, everyone else did." Dawn reassured. "Not to discount your studliness or anything, but I'm pretty sure Vance likes the part of your life that includes all the wackos rushing around and depending on you, bugging you- y'know, your family?"_

_ "Yes, I know. In fact, I'm fairly certain it was what made her look twice." Giles sighed contentedly- then returned to frenziedly darting up the stairs. "There's three more piles! And we really _must_ find another place to keep the scrolls now that William can pull himself up onto things."_

_ Dawn laughed quietly. "You can put stuff in the guest room now."_

_ "I have company coming over and -oh. I suppose I can." He looked pleased as he trotted back down the stairs. "I really can. I always kept it neat for her- in case." In case it had all gone south, and they went back to being friends, or even casual lovers, sometimes sharing, sometimes not._

_ "Yeah, but now she's your _fiancée._ The future matriarch of the crazy clan. We get the guest bedroom back, and you have to share." Dawn beamed as she sorted._

_ "Strangely, I don't seem to mind." He chuckled and a wolfish grin crossed his face._

_ "No. I thought you didn't. Speaking of other things I hope you don't mind- can I come to the airport with you?"_

_ "Of course. Although- you two will have to behave in the car."_

_ "Giles, I'm not a kid- hell, I'm not even a teenager- anymore. I promise not to start pushing and shoving in the backseat."_

_ "I'm more concerned with you two attempting _other_ things in the backseat."_

_ Dawn blushed and resisted the urge to throw something at him. "I'm not doing anything more than kissing him!" _

_ Giles looked at her flushed, slightly angry face and immediately felt like a heel. "I'm sorry, Dearest. I know you two are in a different place than I am, than the rest of us are. I'm relieved, actually. Take your time. This is actually only the second face to face meeting."_

_ "Yeah. And that's _all_ that's meeting." Dawn said firmly._

* * *

><p><em> "Hang in there, Vee. 'Journeys end in lovers meetings' and all that." Joey herded Vance along in front of him, the woman slightly out of breath because she was carrying twice the amount of luggage as usual (not even counting what he was carrying <em>for_ her)- starting to bring some things to keep in her future home._

_ "Don't quote Shakespeare, Brooke, I'm about to require oxygen. For such a small airport, it seems so very - oh, there they are!" Vance spotted Giles and Dawn waiting in the public lounge area and found a burst of energy, watching her lover start jogging towards her, smiling from ear to ear._

_ Giles swooped his future wife up in his arms the second she dropped her baggage. "Oh, Darling! So glad to see you."_

_ "So good to be home!" Vance said, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders, and realized it was the truth. _This is home. This is where the loneliness can't reach me anymore.

_ Joey stopped and stared, a pang in his heart. His Vee would stop coming home- that was, home with him, in a few months, maybe a year at most. "Ah, well. About time." He murmured, a sliver of a smile on his lips._

_ "Hey." Dawn stepped in front of him, a soft smile on her face. "Your loss is so totally my gain. But I'll try to make it up to you." She watched his head turn from Vance to her, and the grin changed, the smile no longer faraway, but very much in the here and now. Boyish, almost roguish expression, eyes sparkling at her._

_ "There's the most beautiful girl in the world." Joey set his own bags down, and reached out his arms to her. "How've you been keepin', Sweetheart?" _

_ "Better now that you're around." She laughed up into the beaming face, and moved closer. Her stomach released a whole swarm of butterflies. Their last kiss- which was their first kiss- started completely accidentally, and had kind of taken over and ran itself. Actually doing it on purpose made her feel half giddy._

_ Except that it was him- her Joey. Time slowed down just a fraction below normal speed, so she could really see him, feel the wave of happiness washing over her as his hands came up to lightly caress the side of her face. _Oh yeah. It's him. The guy I talk to everyday, or at least email everyday. The guy I've been missing so much._ The butterflies were replaced by that still unfamiliar wave of heat that didn't stay in her stomach, but went from throat to thighs. "Missed you." She spoke softly, lips an inch apart from his._

_ "Missed you just as much." He closed the gap. _Bloody hell, why does she have that effect at on me? Like the whole rest of the world drops away because I'm lucky enough to be kissing this little slip of a woman? No other one's ever done this to me...and here I am wasting the moment by thinking about it._ With a grunt, his arms went tight around her middle back, then her waist, then split the difference, one up against her tight blue shirt, so thin and snug he could feel the clasp of her bra, the other hand down, at her waist, fingers just brushing the swell of her tight little bum. _Yeah, just hold her like this. Best thing I've ever held, and she can't wriggle out of this one. Just gonna kiss her until one of _us_ needs oxygen.

_ Dawn felt her eyes glaze over, even inside closed lids. Holy cow. This wasn't kissing, this was making out. In public. Standing up. Being held to this hunk of rugged good lookingness and kissed like there was no tomorrow. His hands were so much bigger than hers, Dawn mused as they gripped her harder. A_ll of him is so much bigger than me. I'm a tiny little toothpick compared to this guy._ She squirmed, lifting herself onto her tiptoes to give back some of what she was getting. _At least he's tall, like me- so I'm not the short one as well as the skinny one. Oh my God, feel that chest- it's literally two of me..._ Dawn's hands traveled down and rested on his waist as the kiss seemed to be drawing to a close. She swiveled forward, and they both let out a little noise of surprise. _Oh. . Is that- is he-hard?_ She pressed forward a little more and he stepped back. _It must have been._ Dawn felt herself go completely weak kneed. _When I said all of him was big- I was right.

The first and only time in my life I get a stiffy from a kiss- and it's in public. With the most lethally protected girl in the world. In front of my sort of boss- her dad, and Vance, my partner and mentor. Can I just die now?_ Joey pulled back and deliberately tried to look serious and calm, and not too guilty. He looked over Dawn's shoulder- and to his relief found that Vance and Giles hadn't noticed- being too busy themselves. _

_ "You - uh- you okay?" Dawn sounded breathless and nervous, wondering if somehow she'd done something wrong, something above the norm to trigger that reaction, and also wondering about how long a wait is too long of a wait- to make this more physical with a guy that you really want, and who obviously wants you._

_ "I'm fine. Um. Missed you a lot. Not- like that. Oh, sod it." Joey laughed uncomfortably. "Can I just apologize or would you like me to get back on the plane?" His face tensed._

_ "Hey! Hey, don't do that. That thing where you look unhappy." Dawn's reply was instinctive, and honest, just like he'd been. She loved that. That he hadn't tried to push it, or tried to deny it. "You get the best boyfriend in the world prize." She lightly pecked his lips, and then began picking up his luggage, not looking anywhere but at his face. _

_ "I do, huh?" Joey joined her in collecting his belongings. "Mind helpin' me out an' explaining why?"_

_ "Well- you kiss like a god." She began, grinning at him. "And you flew across an ocean to hang out with me."_

_ "This is true- although as for the kissing- it's only like that when the other half of the act is so stunning at it." He shouldered his bags and looked at Vee again. Still whispering and snogging with Giles. Dawn rolled her eyes and motioned him to follow her, heading towards the exit. _

_ "Thank you very much." Dawn made a fake curtsey. "Okay-back to you. You obviously really like -being close to me." She stumbled slightly as she tried to put it politely but not sound explicit. "But you didn't push it. And you don't- you don't pretend stuff isn't happening when it is."_

_ "Ah, well, that's back to you again, Angel Face." Joey fell into step beside her. "If I tried to 'pretend', as you put it, you'd never stand for it."_

_ "But you wouldn't do it anyway, right?" She asked hopefully._

_ He considered, wanting to really answer truthfully, 'cause she looked so sweetly up at him. Made him want to be the biggest, best bloke in the world, the big hero, the man of her dreams. "Nah. Not too damn smooth. More of your thick skulled, 'too many blows to the head' type."_

_ "Sorry- no. Pretty damn smart- and honest. Which is- really, really_ hot._" Dawn found the words flying out of her before she could control them. _

_ "Think so?" He gave her a charming, crooked smile._

_ "Yeah." Dawn blushed, and led the way through the parking lot, looking for the Jag._

_ "That doesn't usually happen. What happened." He pointedly looked anywhere but at her._

_ "No harm, no foul." Dawn pointedly did the same. "It's biological, right?"_

_ "No. That one was more emotional. And a surprise. And again- sorry."_

_ "Emotional. For me? As in me, my soul and mind, not my hot body?" Dawn joked, but there was seriousness underneath._

_ "Well, no lie, the body helped. I was jus' so happy to see my girl, feel you so close, an' kissin' me back."_

_ "I'm your girl?" She loved that term._

_ "Abso-bloody-lutely."_

_ "You know I'd kill you if there were more than one 'your girl', right?" Dawn felt compelled to add._

_ "Only need one. Only want one. An' I'd be pretty broken up if there was more than one 'your guy'. There isn't, is there?" He asked with a sudden flash of worry._

_ "No! There's barely even you- I mean-" Dawn sighed, "I don't let people in easily. It's too dangerous, it's too weird, it's too crazy. But you- you got in, Buster. You're my guy." She admitted to him, as much as to herself. _

_ "You can trust me, Dawn. Not gonna go shopping for other options when there's the best girl in the world giving me a chance. Thought I told you that." He reminded her._

_ "You did." Dawn had found the Jag and put the luggage down beside it, and then leaned on the car in the warm May sunshine. "I just like to hear it again."_

_ "Mm, well then." Joey put down his bags and grabbed her elbow, tugging her slowly, insistently to his side. "I'm crazy about just one girl. An' she's got one hell of a tab. You owe me some kisses, Beautiful."_

_ "I think I can work off my debt." Dawn giggled and wrapped her arms longingly around his neck. This time when they kissed, he didn't have a physical reaction- but she did. _Ohh. _That's_ what happens. A guy _can_ do that to you. Hm. I need to stop calling Buffy such a nympho.

_ "Can I take my girl out this weekend? Can they spare you for a trip to dinner an' the cinema?"_

_ "Sure." Dawn beamed up at him, moving her body slowly away, so she didn't get too paw-y. "I'd love that."_

* * *

><p><em> "Ooh, I do love that one." Vance looked at a bridal magazine with Buffy and Willow. "Do you think floor length is too youthful for a bride my age?"<em>

_ "No!" Buffy and Willow's vigorous denial made Vance blush and grin._

_ "Totally not." Buffy shook her head._

_ "Go all out." Willow begged. "Our weddings were- well- beautiful. But not exactly banner events."_

_ "Secrecy was an issue at ours." Buffy explained. "With the lack of a living groom and all."_

_ "And we weren't acting like it was a wedding as much as a- a formal ceremony of - being together." Willow looked uncomfortable for a minute. "Xander- there was someone before me...another wedding."_

_ "I understand, Dear." Vance patted her arm. "Tom and I-" Vance swallowed suddenly, "pardon me. Tom and I had a wedding planned- roughed out, just ideas, really. But this wedding will be completely different. I have- you girls to help me." Vance swallowed again, looking at two of the most lovely girls she'd ever seen, two of the kindest, most loving people who were about to be her family. She hoped they felt that way, that even though she wouldn't be overly demonstrative, or make some formalized announcement, even though she was barely old enough to have been their biological mother- that she did love them as fiercely as if they were hers. Because they were _his.

_ "We're like your step-daughters, right, Vance?" Willow asked timidly._

_ "Oh, yes. Yes indeed, I had hoped you would consider it that way. I know your own mothers were wonderful."_

_ "Yeah." Buffy sighed longingly._

_ "Not lately." Willow muttered._

_ "But I would be very honored if you'd allow me to think of you as- as mine by marriage at least."_

_ Buffy and Willow smiled. "I'm pretty sure all of us are over the 'not biologically' related crap by now. Giles' is Dad-man, so you can totally be step-mom." Buffy nodded. "But- we're still gonna call you Vance."_

_ "Anything's better than Stepmother." Vance's eyes sparkled mischievously. "They always turn out to be the wicked ones in the fairytales."_

_ "Yeah, but the vampires and wolves and witches always turn out evil too!" Willow protested hotly. "There are exceptions to every rule. In my opinion, 'Vance' is just way cooler."_

_ The three exchanged a smile. The bride-to-be sighed contentedly and looked at another magazine Buffy was shoving forward. "Do you think those flowers are tasteful? The bright pink seems a bit much." Vance considered aloud._

_ "Hmm. What about a lighter shade?" Buffy suggested._

_ "What about darker? How about red roses?"_

_ "No." Vance said quickly, thinking of red roses blooming beside a silver birch and white rose bush. Three loves lost but not forgotten. "Not red."_

* * *

><p><em>"D'you want the red one or the blue one?" Joey pointed to two stuffed dogs inside the skill crane. "Oh, blast it. That was a pound coin." Joey found the larger coin was jammed in the arcade game's slot. "Got all my US change jumbled about with my real money."<em>

_ "Hey!" Dawn shifted her ice cream cone, purse, and shopping bag to one hand so she could slap Joey's arm with the other. "What's that supposed to mean? And I want the red one. If you can get -" Dawn watched Joey dislodge the pound and slide in a quarter, make a few maneuvers with the levers. "-it. Holy crap!" The red, floppy eared toy dog landed in the chute as Joey did some sort of double bounce with his knee cap against the machine. "How-"_

_ "I'm good at a few things. Football is one of them." Joey smiled and gave her the dog. "Here. Lemme carry the bag." He took the plastic bag full of tee shirts and other random bits and bobs bought in the mall._

_ "Thanks." Dawn handed him the bag, and managed to wriggle her arm through his at the same time. "This is nice. This is gonna sound pathetic, but this is the first time I've been -" Dawn almost said 'on a real date', but changed it at the last minute, "I've been able to just go out and have some fun with a friend in a really long time. A boyfriend. Have a night out that didn't involve the words 'training', 'patrol', or 'duties', or 'babysitting'."_

_ "You work so hard for them." Joey glanced at her from the side as they strolled._

_ "It's not for 'them'. It's for us. I do it for myself. No one else dies without me trying really hard to stop it first." Dawn said grimly._

_ Joey stopped, and as they had were linked at the elbows, Dawn stopped too. "You work so hard, Luv." Joey repeated as his fingertips reached up and touched the bright, almost sprite like face. "Look a' you." He whispered._

_ "What- what about me?" Dawn blushed and backed away hesitantly._

_ "No, no, don't do that, Beautiful." Joey stepped with her. "Look at how gorgeous an' bright, an' amazin' you are! You- you keep all this power inside such a pretty package. You've seen so much death an' bad, an' you look so-" He paused, realized he was rambling, and kept on going, just because he had to, "you look like your name. You make everything alive an' new, an' interesting. When you talk, when you smile, no matter what you're sayin' or doin' it's -alive, and intense. You're the sun, you steal the show. When I'm with you, I wonder how the hell I can ever go back and look at anything else when I know where the real action is."_

_ Dawn just blinked at him rapidly, mouth popping opening in surprise. "Wh-where'd that come from?" She gaped._

_ "This is only the second time I get to see you face to face. No one's around. I can- I dunno. Some things I can only think to tell you when I see you. 'Course-I see you a lot, even when I'm not around you. You're always in my mind." Joey coughed and then shrugged. "I ramble sometimes. C'mon, the mall's about to close. Should get home. Or we could go someplace else that's open." _

_ Dawn didn't move with him as he tugged her towards the ground floor exit, just stared after him._

_ "I'm sorry. I said too much random bloody mush, didn't I? I told you. Not smooth."_

_ "Joey." Dawn trotted the few steps to him, grabbed his hand, and walked with him. "You- you said I'm the one- who you think about, and look at... that I steal the show." Dawn lost a large chunk of her 'tough girl' facade- if it was a facade- and her voice suddenly shook. "I- I'm the center of attention sometimes- or I was. A long time ago, because I was some sacred power. Or more recently because I was the youngest one. But Buffy- Buffy's the star. She's the Slayer. THE Slayer. The original Chosen One. I'm her little sister. I'm awesome, I know that." She laughed suddenly, slightly hysterically. "But- I'm in the background. And I am finally, very, very okay with that. Because the background is what keeps us all alive, not just being powerful, but being helpful, smart, looking out for each other. But still- I'm just in the background." Her voice became completely unsteady, and she shook her head at him._

_ Joey returned the shake of her head with one of his own. "No. No. Never. Not _my_ background. Buffy's a nice girl, but as far as I'm concerned- she's just the big sister. You're the main attraction."_

_ "But Buffy, she's like-"_

_ "Not like you." Joey interrupted firmly. "I don't mean to be pushy, but you know how you said you like me honest, Beautiful?" Dawn nodded. "Some men say they like brunettes, or long legs, or big blue eyes and wide smiles."_

_ "Oh. That's more me, yeah." Dawn understood better then, a physical type. He had a preference._

_ "Yeah, that was who I was describin', but not where I was headin'. I could say all those things about you, say I loved your looks, an' God knows I do, but that's not all. Some blokes say they like this or that- I just prefer _you_. I can't imagine- ever preferrin' anything else."_

_ Dawn kissed the head bent so earnestly to hers, and smiled broadly, eyes soft and luminous. "What's that mean? That sounds- big?"_

_ "It means I just want you. I don't want anyone else. An' you're a lot younger than me, by five years I think, so that prob'ly sounds very long term and damn scary."_

_ "Joey- I know scary." Dawn gazed into his dark eyes, hand lightly teasing the sandy brown curls on the nape of his neck. "That was_ not_ it. I am younger, and I will always probably be a couple years behind where you want to be."_

_ "I'm in no rush. I jus' - thought I should tell you. I didn't mean to scare you." _

_ "It's not scary. It's-" Dawn sighed heavily, but happily, "it's like happiness. Knowing this guy you're crazy about- is crazy about you."_

_ "You're crazy about me?" Joey's boyish grin almost split his face._

_ "You know that I am."_

_ "But it's nice to hear you say it." Joey captured her mouth longingly. "Nice to_ feel_ you say it."_

_ "Come on. I'll tell you more in private." Dawn gave him a wink, and led him outside, to her car, to head home._

* * *

><p><em> "Spike and Buffy are patrolling tonight with Xander. William and Tanya will be with Willow." Dawn let them into the house and started pulling off her jacket. <em>

_ Joey stood in the doorway. "Are you sure you don't mind me bein' in the house all night without them?"_

_ Dawn's glare froze him to the marrow. "If I didn't think I could trust you, do you think I could kiss you? Do you think I couldn't break you in half if you didn't stop if I asked you to stop?"_

_ Joey moved swiftly into the house, closing the door with a slam. "Of course you can trust me! Of course I know you can look after yourself, and you can kick the ass of my entire rugby team! You're not like other girls, but you're _my_ girl. The only girl I care for, an' I don't know why- but I thought I should ask you... an' to tell you the truth, I'm a little bit scared of what your family might do to me if they thought I took advantage of an empty house."_

_ "Why don't you just come with me?" Dawn grinned and laced her arms around his neck. "I promise I'll protect you from the big bads."_

_ "Mm, my hero." Joey smiled and snatched another kiss._

_ Dawn's eyes did that luminous, softening trick that made him melt. "I don't think I've ever been anyone's hero before." _

_ "First time for everything." Joey stroked her hair. _

_ "Yeah. There is." Dawn laughed quietly. "C'mon."_

_ Joey followed her upstairs in a pleasant stupor. _Finally gettin' to be alone with my girl. Love the family, but- she's the one who gives it the kick. She's the one who keeps my heart. Good God- I'm fallin' for this one. An' I'm not gettin' back up.

_ Dawn realized as they entered her room that 'first time' could have many connotations she was not considering. She tensed, and then relaxed. She did trust him. She did trust this man. She didn't want to rush though. Not into bed, not into that particular "first time". She wanted - to be in love. Not falling in love. Not starting to love him. But really, madly, deeply, 'can't live without him, he's my hero and I'm his', _in_ love. _But sometimes, maybe this is how it all starts.

_ "Sit with me?" Dawn murmured, perching on the edge of her bed._

_ " 'Course." Joey kept the same low tone, and flicked the light on. "Mind?"_

_ "No. It's cozy. I've never been cozy with a guy. I mean- I've done stuff, but I-"_

_ "Shh. I know. This is different. 'Cause it's you an' me." Joey said simply. "That didn't make a whole bloody lot of sen-" _

_ Dawn's frantic hungry kiss silenced him. "It does. It makes a lot of sense. You're inside the circle. I can trust you. The thing is- why can you trust me?" She whispered tremulously._

_ "Because you're the main reason why I _want_ to be in the circle." Joey pulled her flush against his chest, and lost himself in the kiss, finding himself at the same time._

* * *

><p><em> "Look at the time." Joey lazed against Dawn's pillow, arm around her shoulders, as she absently traced the Manchester United logo and numbers on his shirt with her fingertip.<em>

_ "One thirty. You probably should get to your room, huh?" Dawn sat up halfway, smiling drowsily with her kiss-tender lips and slightly mussed hair._

_ "Should. Didn't we say this at midnight?"_

_ "And 11:00." Dawn giggled and kissed him again. It was her first make out session that wasn't with some guy at a college party and consisted of five minutes of kissing and accidental second base-age. _This_ was real making out, where you kissed and touched and whispered and talked...and three and half hours could fly by like five minutes. _

_ It was nice, not what she had expected, but what she always hoped for. That there would be a passionate feeling that made you want to do more, experience everything, but a nice, safe feeling of being with the "long haul guy" so you didn't feel forced to rush through things. With Joey she felt like he was with her as a person, not just as a body to play with. She loved it- and she didn't want it to end._

_ "Well, you keep rejuvenatin' me."Joey sat up and neatened up her hair with his large, but gentle hands. "Still, you must be exhausted. You don't get many nights to yourself."_

_ "No. Not at all tired." Dawn yawned, and they both laughed. "Okay, but I seriously don't want this to stop."_

_ "I don't have to leave. I can just let you get on with whatever you need to do. Didn't you say you were going to help Giles sort something?"_

_ "Yeah, so he and Vance can do some wedding and life planning stuff tomorrow." Dawn slid one leg over his waist, crossing over him to get up and get her laptop. She froze. _Oh. That was- intimate.

_ Joey lay back with a sudden grunt and chuckle, hands behind his head, naughty look in his eye. "This has got to be one of my favorite fantasies, ever. Pinch me, I'm dreamin'."_

_ Dawn pinched him, but didn't move, her hips over his, halfway on the bed, halfway off, just staring down at him. "You have fantasies? About me?" She prodded his stomach lightly- and came into contact with hard, warm muscles. Flat and firm, but not ripply. _

_ "Nothin' with the Restricted Rating!" Joey fibbed slightly. Okay, so sometimes they were a little Restricted, but definitely not vulgar. Very soft focus, blurry, dreamy, since he hadn't seen anything but her beautiful face and that was plenty for the moment. "Maybe some 18 an' Over, but- but tastefully done." He confessed._

_ Dawn flushed happily, but then stopped and frowned at him seriously. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so- um- teasing." She started to move quickly, get off of him._

_ "Hey." Joey grabbed her hand. "Dawn- you aren't a tease. You're my girlfriend. We can be close an' still take our time. We've never even had a proper date before tonight." He laughed up at her. "Don't you dare move. I like lookin' up at you."_

_ Dawn strained and reached her laptop, then plopped it down on Joey's chest, making him laugh. "In that case- I'll do my Watcher work on my brand new 'chair'." _

_ Joey unseated her with a grunt, and they sat knee to knee on the bed, laptop beside them. "How about I help you- but not as office furniture."_

_ "Perfect." Dawn kissed him slowly, happily. "What are we gonna do for our_ second_ date?"_

* * *

><p><em> "I suppose the first thing to do would be to set a date. At least figure out when would be feasible." Giles said to Vance the next morning, the last morning of her three day visit. They had been prodded and goaded and coaxed into driving to chapels and dress stores and listening to the three girls surround Vance with endless wedding chatter.<em>

_ "Yes, then I could give the girls some information. I never knew they could be so ravenous! Not about a wedding, anyway."_

_ "Mm, Darling, you know the old adage about mothers planning the daughters' weddings? It's rather reversed here."_

_ "I think it's kind of them to share you. Few women would have such a warm welcome to such a tight knit family."_

_ "How can they resist you?" Giles took her hand over the stack of books between them- and sighed contentedly. "Look at this."_

_ "Am I getting coffee on something?" Vance hurriedly pulled her cup away._

_ "It's just so lovely. Your books and papers-" Giles gestured to the file marked Summers, W.J., her copy of Demonic Impregnation, and creased copy of Bridal World, "with mine." He gestured to several stacks of papers from Robson, and a copy of the Greshalt Codex, prophecies for the post-millennium._

_ "You won't say that for long." Vance smiled lovingly, playfully. "You're going to get all rattled when my things touch yours. In a few years time, you'll be shouting down the halls, 'Get your case files away from my scrolls, get your speculums and stethoscopes away from my stakes and swords!' "_

_ Giles squeezed her hand. "Probably. I won't love you any less." His lightly seamed face clouded. "I don't know- if I'll be a good husband. Good to live with. I'm used to living on my own- in the sense of having people over constantly, depending on me, and not having a partner of my own. "_

_ "I'm not sure I'll be a good wife." Vance commiserated. "I've shut myself off from almost everyone. I've never even had a fraction of the family interactions you've had, not in years and years. But I'll love you so much. I'll try not to drive you mad. I promise not to do the little things that annoy you- crease the pages of your books, drink the rest of your tea, leave wet stockings drying over the shower rail."_

_ Giles rubbed his bare toes to hers. "You're welcome to my tea. Your stockings turn me on- as they say. And you do drive me mad. Quite, quite mad." Giles stood up slowly, leaning across the table, finding her mouth, then her neck, then- "The hell with breakfast. Let's practice one of the things I know we're good at!" With a squeal of laughter, Vance took off, and Giles chased her up the stairs to their room._

* * *

><p><em> "We never did set a timeframe." Vance lay on her back, on top of the sheets, and fanned herself. <em>

_ "No. We got rather off topic." Giles agreed, letting out a puff of air as he rolled to his side to face her, smiling at his gorgeous, pleasingly voluptuous brunette beauty. "There's plenty of things to consider I suppose. For you."_

_ "My notice." Vance's face grew sad. "I haven't told them yet. But I'd like to give two or three months if I could. I'd like to help Joey train the new replacement. They've all been- so very good to me." She gave him a suddenly watery smile. "Not close, not like your family, but kind. Caring. I can't think of the number of times they've watched me head off to the clinics with some 'strange' patient, and looked the other way. I can't number the old dears who've offered to have me round for Boxing Day or Christmas..."_

_ "Are you sure you want to move here?" Giles couldn't bear to see the sadness turn her eyes that dull shade of gray, all life gone out of them._

_ "It's time." She said simply. He kissed her damp cheek and nibbled her earlobe._

_ "I can't thank you enough for that. Now- that puts us three months away. But you'll need time to get a gown and the girls will need to get dresses, all sorts of arrangements to be made..."_

_ "That takes time. Some things are booked for months in advance. Not that I'm picky, but I would like to have the right caterer and the proper band..."_

_ "Yes, and we'd have to do it on a night that doesn't have a particularly evil significance, or I'll be worrying the whole time if I should leave to stave off an apocalypse. That is rather why I was looking at the Greshalt Codex, unfortunately."_

_ "Ever responsible."_

_ "Oh, and first weekends are out then. Alliance meetings every other month. And as we don't know the month-"_

_ "Exactly. Oh, I've got to put the flat up! And who knows how long that'll take to sell."_

_ "Furniture to move."_

_ "Yours needs to be rearranged to make room for mine."_

_ The pair continued, listing things that needed to be considered or had to happen, a mountain of minutiae dwarfing their joyous attitude of finally finding the one to help mend their hearts. _

_ "You know," Vance finally said, "I don't want to disappoint the girls. But I don't want this to become some imbroglio of caterers and florists and coordinating colors. I just want to marry you and be part of your family. Wake up beside you each day."_

_ "Thank God." Giles pressed a hand to his chest. "This was getting out of hand. Let's just pick a date. We'll pick a date and we'll work around it. We have some very powerful people at our disposal. I'm sure we'll manage to get everything we need by the date we pick." He kissed her eyelids over her opal eyes and whispered, "It will still be perfect. Because you will be the bride, and I will be the groom."_

* * *

><p><em> "You missin' the groom very badly, then?" Joey took his seat beside Vance on the plane.<em>

_ "Only a bit more than you miss the bridesmaid." She smiled in quiet amusement. "Six months, though. In six months, I won't have to leave him after a few days, not see him for a month at a time, more than a month sometimes."_

_ "It'll fly by. Six months will seem like nothin' compared to all you have to do an' get ready. Just six months." Joey grinned with an effort. "Place is gonna seem dead without you, Vee." He suddenly sounded hoarse._

_ "You'll help the new doctor get settled?" Vance took his hand. _

_ "Promise. Promise you'll visit sometimes, when he comes over with work?"_

_ "Promise." She squeezed his hand tightly, reflexively, as they began to taxi down the runway, gaining speed until they lifted off. She loosened her grip, and they both unbuckled their seat belts to face each other, as one. _As best mates. We just know..._ "I want you to do me a favor, Brooke."_

_ "Oh, hell." Joey laughed softly. His last name only, serious favors were in the offing. "Name it."_

_ "You know I don't have any parents. Or brothers. I haven't kept up with a lot of friends..."_

_ "Spit it out." Joey nudged._

_ "Would you please walk me down?" She blurted._

_ "Down where?" Joey asked._

_ "The aisle! Will you give the bride away?" Joey looked stunned, and she blushed. "Look, I know it'll look silly, you being so young, and here's me, mutton dressing as lamb in some big fancy dress and my side of the church empty and-"_

_ "Vee, belt up! I would be honored. Extremely honored to give my best mate to the best bloke for the job." Joey hugged her as she broke into a half-giddy laugh. _

_ "I'm getting married in six months. I can't believe it." _

_ "It's about time. Good things come to those who wait, yeah?" Joey had a flashback to the previous night, the lovely girl he was oddly content to wait for. _

_ "Yes, I suppose you're right. Very good things, indeed."_

* * *

><p><strong>Three months away<strong>

_"__Here. __Is __this __good?__" __Dawn __held __out __a __piece __of __paper __to __her __sister._

_ "You're inviting Angel?" Buffy gave Dawn a dubious look._

_ "Well- he kinda goes with the good guy guest list. If I take him off, I feel like I have to take Faith and Robin Wood off as well. I still can't believe those two actually got married."_

_ "I say you take 'em both off the list." Spike spoke up. "Angel'll brood, an' Wood an' I... well, we're not exactly friends."_

_ "That's why he wasn't invited to _your_ wedding, brother dearest." Dawn stuck her tongue out at him. "But this is Giles' wedding, so all the old crowd is on the list and we can add and narrow down, yadda yadda. Okay, Willow- I have Kennedy on the list. Is that okay?"_

_ "Yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is Giles' day. And Vance's, of course." Willow said hastily, eager to be unselfish and supportive. "I heard there's someone else she's with now. I don't mind. I have my family." She squeezed Xander's hand._

_ "Well, I mind. If I see her, I might punch the bitch." Xander growled._

_ "What's bitch?" Tanya asked from her spot behind the table, where she was looking happily through brightly colored picture books._

_ "A lady dog." Spike answered quickly. "William, bring Daddy your new farm puzzle. You an' Tanya can build us a nice, big red barn."_

_ "Right, Da'." William scampered off. _

_ Spike glared at Xander. "Can we please keep the bloody swearin' to a bloody minimum in front of the sprogs?" He hissed._

_ "Honey..." Buffy pointed out the hypocrisy of his comment with a single word and a significant look._

_ "Oh. Well- be careful. An' who the hell are Fred an' Wesley W.P.?"_

_ "That's Wesley and his wife! He's a reinstated Watcher and he should come." Dawn said firmly. _

_ "He's gay?"_

_ "Fred is a girl. She's so awesome." Willow beamed. "There was another guy I met there, too. Darn. I forget his name, but he's one of the original demon fighters who worked with Angel. I can email Fred and ask-"_

_ Giles, who'd been sitting at the dining room table- fork held limply in a suddenly boneless grasp, had been silent during this entire conversation. Finally he found his voice and exploded, making everyone jump. "This is completely- that is- I think it- unwise, t-to have this turn into some sort of gala event!" Giles was so flustered that he had reverted to stammering and frantic glasses polishing. "You simply cannot invite all these people! This should be a solemn, meaningful event, a-and you cannot congregate all the champions for good in one location, it's like inviting evil to attack us! O-or to attack the posts they leave unguarded! No. No. It is simply impossible. It cannot, must not be done."_

_ For a few seconds after the tirade, there was silence. "So- who do you want there?" Dawn finally asked in a tiny voice._

_ "All of you. Joey. I suppose Robson. And, yes I suppose Wesley and his wife should join us."_

_ "If you invite the head of the European branch and don't invite heads of the other branches, you're going to get everyone all jealous." Buffy explained the mechanics of socialization to Giles._

_"__Right, __and __if __you __invite __the __big __head __Watchers, __but __not __some __of __the __other __big __cheeses, __everyone__'__s __gonna __get __all__ '__nya ny__a __nya, __Giles __likes __me __better __than __you-ou__'__.__" __Xander __imitated __a __teasing __child._

_ "So we should invite the heads of covens we work with. And the Pine Ridge Coven, they're all right here anyway and they love us." Willow turned her doe eyes on Giles and watched him weaken._

_ "Oh! Oh, and Madge! And Jason and Ellie Kerr!" Dawn added. " 'Cause they're right here in the area, too! They'd be really, _really_ sad if you didn't invite them but you invited other people in town."_

_ "If you're inviting some of the core Watchers, you need to invite the core Slayers. At least the Sunny D survivors." Xander spoke up and Buffy backed him up emphatically. _

_ "You took care of all those girls, Giles, they want to see you get some happiness. C'mon, it's for one or two days, and it's not even a lot, just twenty or thirty, and there's probably some who can't come or won't be able to. At least if you invite them, they'll know you offered."_

_ "I know what you're doing. You think I don't realize how you're talking me into inviting everyone you have on the blasted list, but I do."_

_ "Is it workin'?" Spike had been silent during the proceedings, but hadn't been idle. Along with settling the two children, both of which he considered his own, he'd gotten the bottle of Scotch from the liquor cabinet. Now he asked his pointed question as he sat the unscrewed bottle and an empty glass beside the groom-to-be._

_ "Must I?" Giles sounded miserable._

_ "No. But if you want to deny a few dozen people the right to celebrate your joyous day, to welcome Vance into the family..." Buffy played her trump card, receiving a sneaky low five under the table from Dawn as she did so._

_ Giles poured, gulped, and poured again. "Fine." He gasped out. "But you'll consult Vance first."_

_ "Already did." Dawn grinned, kissed her father figure on the cheek and passed him the paper. "Cross off and add whoever you want."_

_ Giles glared up at her, then around all the members of his odd family, amusement and annoyance warring within him. "All of you are meddlesome, wonderful little- Tanya, William- cover your ears for Grandpa, will you?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Two months away<strong>

_ "Will you give me a lift to Gatwick on Thursday night?" Vance asked breathlessly, sliding into the lift beside Joey right before the doors shut._

_ "I've got a match at half five. What time's your flight?"_

_ "Quarter til ten. But, customs... I've got to be there before eight, probably."_

_ "Why d'you need a lift? An' why Gatwick?"_

_ "Freight compartments." Vance smiled tremulously. "The movers'll meet the plane. The Alliance said they'll pay. They voted on it, Giles said-" she swallowed suddenly, "that Robson introduced the motion and it was unanimously voted on. Relocation fees and all, they've covered it. They've been so kind to us. Do you realize how many people are flying in for this wedding?" Vance suddenly dabbed at her eyes._

_ "I'll miss my match." Joey decided impulsively, hugging her tight with one arm. _

_ "Oh, no, you don't-"_

_ "Yes. I do. I want to. D' you realize in two months or so, I won't have anyone to cover my shift, or to cover for? No more droppin' everything to rush over, no more gettin' sloshed after triple shifts? This is the end of an era." Joey sighed._

_ "Joey, don't..." Vance dabbed at her eyes harder._

_ "When they gave me this rotation, I couldn't wait to get out of here. Then I met this no-nonsense doctor who loved workin' in this hellhole. And at the end of my first day, she said to me-"_

_ "Buy you a pint and show you where the good chip shop is." Vance finished. "You looked lost- but you hadn't stopped smiling."_

_ "Was a few years ago now, Vee. It won't be the same without you. So let me skip a match. The second half anyway. I'll say I've got family business."_

_ "I love you, you do realize that?" Vance pulled him into a completely out of character- out of character in public anyway- embrace as the lift doors opened._

_ "Love you, too, you daft old thing." Joey muttered into her hair. _

_ "You two want the key to the linen cupboard?" One of the porters was pushing his bucket and mop into the lift as they pulled apart._

_ "Be quiet, Evans." Vance snuffled good naturedly. "I'll even miss _you_, when I go." Vance hurried away, and Joey got back on the lift. "See you after shift?"_

_ "Right-oh." Joey pushed the button for the top floor._

_ "What're you playin' at, ridin' the lifts up an down like a schoolboy?" Evans demanded, playfully shaking his gnarled fist at him. _

_ "Gotta see the Chief." Joey sighed, and took a thick, flat envelope from his lab coat pocket and tapped it against his palm, humming tunelessly._

* * *

><p><strong>One month away<strong>

_ "Will you please hum something else?" Giles begged Dawn after the fifth chorus of "My Boyfriend's Back"._

_ "Kay." Dawn cheerfully starting humming "Here Comes the Bride" instead. _

_ "I can very easily pull the cars over and make you ride with Spike and Buffy. Or in the truck with Xander."_

_ "It's not my fault I'm so happy. Besides, you need the space in the Jeep and the truck for the rest of her stuff. We're going to pick up the dresses tomorrow! I'm so freakin' happy!" Dawn exuberantly hugged Giles and bounced in the front seat of the Jag._

_ "Save it for your young man." Giles ruffled her hair once. _

_ "Oh, I am. Poor Spike. I think that's why Buffy's coming with him. She didn't want him to go all cave-vamp on me when I kiss him hello."_

_ "He didn't overreact when he spent half the night in your room last visit."_

_ "No. No, he's cool with it. I just could see him going into extreme protective mode." Dawn bit her lip. She hadn't meant to get so wrapped in a guy. So far away. Sometimes she wondered if she were turning into a bad friend. She and Willow didn't hang out as much. She couldn't remember the last time she and Spike had been out alone to do something stupid and rebellious. "Am I neglecting people?" She asked suddenly._

_ "No! Why?" Giles asked, wondering if she could read his thoughts. He couldn't recall the last time he'd spent time with Buffy, training her, one on one, or with Xander and Willow, researching alone. There was no alone anymore. Not as such._

_ "Spike and I- we're close. We still are, but there's not a lot of time when we just hang, listen to music, watch movies. I think we were off on the same night once in the last month, and William was with us. I love him. But he's not conducive to wild times or action movies."_

_ "I haven't trained one on one with Buffy in weeks. Willow and I haven't gone to Madge's on an ingredient run together in over a month. I spend so much time talking to Vance, so much time- doing everything with everyone..."_

_ "Maybe- maybe that's what it means to grow up?" Dawn asked, shivering suddenly._

_ "You mean, we grow apart? I don't want that! I already experienced it, and I hated it." Giles spat venomously, so furiously it startled them both. "I do so love all of you. I don't tell you enough."_

_ "You tell us plenty. More than enough for a British guy." She joked. "Anyway, we're not growing apart. We're growing more together. We don't do the whole 'alone time' very much right now, because we're so close. Spike stopped needing me to be his really close friend, I think." Dawn murmured slowly as realization hit her. "No one hates him anymore. Even Xander, who insults him like he's just saying his name, I've seen them together. They're friends. Spike and Buffy aren't just lovers and spouses, they actually are best friends, now too. And then there's kids, of course we're not alone very much, we have the kids to play with."_

_ "Willow's a mother. I'm about to be a husband."_

_ "I have a boyfriend. A serious one." Dawn shook her head. "How come you're the one who clicks and makes me realize we're growing up?"_

_ Giles gave her a bemused grin. "I don't know." He said thoughtfully. "Maybe we thought it would only ever be the six of us. Suddenly there were eight. Now nine." He paused. "Perhaps ten? Someday?"_

_ Dawn blushed and played with her hair in a nervous gesture she'd picked up years ago. "When Buffy and Spike fell in love, and then Xander and Willow, it was so easy to see why. They're so right together and they'd had years and years together. With you and Vance- well come on- you practically scream 'Here's the other half!'. She's perfect for you, right down to the weird badass nicknames."_

_ "Dawn!"_

_ She ignored him. "How do you know if you're in love with someone, if he's right for you, but you don't have this overwhelming amount of stuff in common, or years and years of friendship, or some big, fated love? Huh? How do I tell this stuff?"_

_ "That's an age old question which I am completely unable to answer." He sighed. "Does he make you happy?"_

_ "Totally."_

_ "Does he try to change you?"_

_ "Like he could." Dawn tossed her hair proudly._

_ "Do you try to change him?" _

_ "No! I like him how he is. Well- okay, yes I did try to make him listen to The Clash and The Ramones. Oh, and I bug him about studying magic-type stuff. So he doesn't get killed. 'Cause that'd suck." She tried to keep her tone light and not let on that the thought of anything happening to him made her stomach fall to her knees and panic rise in her veins._

_ "I'd wager that's acceptable. I know he tried to explain rugby and modern pharmacology to you. I'd say that's not so much changing him as sharing interests." His voice grew grave. "Do you trust him?"_

_ "Yes." Dawn answered unhesitatingly._

_ Giles looked at her. "You do?"_

_ "Well, yeah. Don't you?"_

_ "As a matter of fact, I do." He admitted. _

_ "So all those things add up to love?"_

_ "Oh, no. But you can't have it without , my dear, have all the prerequisites. I won't bother to ask if you find him physically attractive. The copious amount of sparkling eyes and drool-"_

_ "I do not drool!" _

_ "-tipped me off to that." Giles continued over her protests. "You're twenty one. There's no rush to be in love. Enjoy the ride. Once you're in, you very rarely get out."_

_ "That sounds cheerful." Dawn rolled her eyes. Giles rolled his in return and took the exit towards the airport._

_ "You very rarely _want_ to get out, either." _

_ Dawn touched his arm gently. "You were in love for a really long time. By yourself." Because Jenny wasn't there to return the affection._

_ "So was she." He thought about all the years they'd spent alone and shook his head. "Trust me, it's far better to be in love when you both can enjoy it. There's no rush- but don't waste your time."_

_ "But what if he-"_

_ "Dawn. The next words had better not be, 'what if he doesn't love me back', because only a fool wouldn't love you, and we both know, Joey's no fool."_

_ "He's pretty wonderful." Dawn agreed. _

_ "He thinks you are, too."_

* * *

><p><em> "So, I was thinkin'." Joey slid into Dawn's little baby blue car and looked over at her.<em>

_ "That's dangerous." Dawn quipped._

_ "Hush, girly."_

_ "Hey!"_

_ "Let me talk, would you?" He tapped her knee sharply. "After this family dinner outing, can I take you out on that second date?"_

_ "I'd love to- but- Watcher stuff. We think we've got a succubus on campus and Giles has a bajillion emails he's delegated to me so he can fly to Los Angeles and deal with a voodoo zombie uprising thing before the wedding."_

_ Joey's mouth hung open for a second before he shook his head in amazement. "Most girls just say they've made other plans or they have to wash their hair or something. Full marks for creativity."_

_ "Stop that! I'm serious, I would _love_ a second date. Not just hanging out and training and coaching each other on stuff."_

_ "Well, tell me what you'd like to do, Luv, an' I'll find a way to do it. An' I can help with things you know. Not zombies necessarily, but emails- I'm brilliant at emails." _

_ Dawn giggled. "Who says dates have to be at night? Want to go out to breakfast with me tomorrow?"_

_ "Ooh, can we go to a diner? I've always wanted to eat at an American diner. Like the fifties chrome an' neon, everything's bad for you type of place." Dawn stared at his eager outburst. "I like old movies." Joey confessed. "Old American movies. Well, I used to when I was a kid, my mum an' sis an' I would go to my gran's every Sunday afternoon and watch them on her old black an' white telly. Of course, I _thought_ it was the telly but it was really the movies half the time." He looked at her and found she was still staring at him. "And you're still givin' me that look."_

_ "I'm sorry. I love diners. Going out for ice cream cones. Not so much watching old movies, but curling up and watching movies with a big bowl of popcorn is a major treat for us. We never got to do a lot of normal. So dates- dates don't have to be something exotic to make me feel all warm and tingly."_

_ "I'll give you exotic, if you just let me." Joey promised. "I'll give you cozy an' bog standard boring as well. Breakfast tomorrow, and somethin' more flash another time. But just so you know, I think everything's pretty amazin' when you're around, Dawn Summers."_

* * *

><p><em> "We'll work at my place." Dawn and Joey followed the caravan of cars back from the restaurant where they'd had a family supper and pulled up the driveway of the Summers' house. "The Hardcore Four are out tonight, so I have baby duty and Watcher duties."<em>

_ "Well, jus' point me in the direction of what I can help with." Joey said cheerfully. _

_ Dawn and Joey went inside and pitched in helping get Tanya and William ready for bed while their parents got ready for patrol. The foursome said goodnight to their children, tucked into cribs side by side in William's room, and left for the night._

_ Dawn was locking the door after them when Spike's fist shot through and grabbed her wrist. "Niblet!" He whispered urgently._

_ "What's wrong?" Dawn followed him onto the porch. _

_ "You an' Joey okay on your own?" Spike asked softly._

_ "We're okay. I promise, he's not gonna try-"_

_ "Oh, Bit, trust me, you'd clean his clock an' I'd stand back an' offer helpful suggestions an' sharp objects." Spike chuckled darkly. "But you two?"_

_ "Us two what?" Dawn prodded, eyes narrowing slightly._

_ "You're on watch for the kiddies. If you two want to get away- God, I hate this... alone, for the night-" Spike looked as if he were sipping holy water as he spoke._

_ "Oh! Oh, God, Spike! No, no. No, no, _no_!" Dawn bit her lip. "We're watching the kids and the books, not each other. I swear. I mean- okay, kisses and curling up together, maybe..." Dawn watched Spike's whole body shrink as he let out the tension he'd been holding. "You're still my best friend, you know?" Dawn whispered, hugging him hard and suddenly. _

_ " 'Til forever, Bit." Spike stroked her hair._

_ "That was really hard for you, huh?" She giggled._

_ "Prefer to have a broken nose any day of the week." Spike let out a single guffaw. "But I know he loves you and-"_

_ "He loves me?" Dawn hissed, backing Spike into the wall. _

_ "Yeah. He does." Spike nodded, reaching for his smokes with a slightly shaking hand. _

_ "You- you can tell?"_

_ "If he doesn't, he will soon. Bet you a fiver he says it by New Year's Eve."_

_ Dawn thought about all the things Joey and she said, how she felt with him, something she'd never felt before. "No bet." She grinned, and kissed his cheek. "Oh, and Spike? I promise I'm going to wait until I'm sure. About a lot of things. And I'm totally not doing anything in _here_."_

_ "Thank bloody God." Spike murmured fervently._

_ "Spike? Are you coming with us?" Buffy shouted from the end of the sidewalk._

_ "On my way, Pet." Spike called and put his cigarette behind his ear, deciding his nerves no longer needed steadying. Demonic sleep habitations on campus were far less frightening than trying to talk to his little sis about choosing a partner and sexual experiences._

_ "Be safe! We'll look after the kids." Dawn blew a kiss at the four retreating figures and stepped back inside._

* * *

><p><em> Dawn watched Joey get down on all fours and play with the children before bed. Singing and laughing with them, tickling and blowing raspberries on the back of their necks and making them giggle and screech happily. She watched them and felt herself getting all soft and soppy. <em>

_ Joey looked up at her, watching her eyes sparkle and laugh silently. "You two go pick up a storybook, an' Uncle Joey'll read you to sleep, alright?"_

_ "Alright." William agreed, voice unmistakably British. He warmed right up to this man, hugging his leg, obviously reminded of his father and grandfather by the similarities in their voices and expressions._

_ "Nice little ones." Joey watched them toddle off, William moving with speed and steadiness of a child much older, Tanya stumbling more unsteadily behind him._

_ "Yeah... yeah, they're awesome kids." Dawn grinned. _He's so good with kids. I bet he'd be a wonderful dad. Shit. Dad. As in- me-mom, him -dad?_ Her smile was suddenly replaced with a look of near panic. _I don't think like that! I can't! I'm not ready. I don't even _want_ to be ready! I'm twenty one. Barely! I haven't even earned a degree, I can't start thinking about babies. Babies of ours. I bet they'd have brown hair. And tall- that's a given. No! Not thinking like that. I want to do a day job or two first. I might not even want kids until I'm like- thirty.

_ "What's wrong, Beautiful?" Joey got off of the floor and came to her side as she perched on the couch in the living room, surrounded by books and with her laptop open. "Bad news?"_

_ "Huh?" Dawn asked stolidly._

_ "Bad news? In the email?" Joey tapped the computer lightly._

_ "Oh. Oh, no I haven't even started yet." She shut the screen. "Do you like kids?"_

_ "Love 'em." Joey answered easily. "They're all the best stuff in the world waitin' to happen- or as my mum would remind me, all the worst stuff as well. Although I think that was a jibe at my sis an' I." He chuckled. _

_ Dawn looked at him worriedly. "Do you want kids someday?"_

_ Joey looked momentarily startled. "Yeah, someday. With the right girl. No hurry." He said firmly. _

_ "Okay- because I didn't. Not until I met those guys." Dawn nodded towards William and Tanya who were back with a book each, and Tanya seemed to be leading William through her own, made up version of the story, pointing at pictures. " So, now- yeah, I like kids, and I'd like some. _Someday_." Dawn's voice sped up and she rattled off what went through her mind._

_ "There's a ton of stuff to do first! I could get assigned to a Slayer anywhere. I mean, I won't, not until I finish college, because that was kind of the deal we made- but I could."_

_ As Dawn had been speaking, Joey felt his own face falling, confusion and concern growing._

_ "I- um- I guess that probably matters, huh? The age and the distance. Not knowing where I'm going to end up?" She looked at her lap, unable to look at him as he accepted the out she was offering him._

_ Joey's face was still concerned, but not as unhappy. He actually felt a mild relief setting in. He'd thought she was going to break it off- just as he was starting to wonder if he should invest in another piece of jewelry, good jewelry, for her. _She_ thinks _I'm_ the one who might walk away. Sod that. "No, it doesn't much matter to me. I'm happy goin' along. An' change- change happens." Joey's face became oddly strained, even as he reassured her._

_ "Then why do you look so down?" Dawn pressed._

_ Joey swallowed and sighed, eyes closing briefly. "Look, Luv- can I trust you with somethin'? A secret?" He murmured softly._

_ "Is it a harmful secret?" Dawn asked warily._

_ "I don't think so. But- I don't want to tell Vee, not until after she moves. Until the knot is firmly tied. I don't want anything to make her have one moment of doubt about movin' ahead, or leavin' me behind." Joey leaned forward and spoke urgently. "It's killin' me not to tell her. Odd as it seems, she is my best mate, better than my teammates, better'n my university friends, or RAF pals. 'Cause she's real with me, you know? We share stuff. Now we share this." He gestured to the room, as if to reference all of Pine Ridge and the dark forces beyond it. _

_ "I've known for a few weeks, an' haven't even told you. It's drivin' me mad." He reached for her hand. " 'Cause you're always up front with me, don't play games, you keep yourself true to yourself, jus' like I love." _

_ Dawn leaned forward as well, falling forward mentally and physically, washed on waves of worry and anticipation, and also that sweet little phrase, that he loved something about her. _

_ "So. Can you keep a secret for me?" He whispered solemnly._

Wow. I know his secret probably won't be like our secrets, not world changing or dangerous- but it's his secret to tell. Something private, that he wants to trust me with. It means something to him. I mean something to him. Trusting me, even more than Vance._ "You can always tell me_ anything._ You can always trust me, Joey." Dawn found her hands caressing the sides of his face, not playfully, or even romantically. Lovingly. Seriously. _I think I just grew up some more...

_ "I put in my notice at the hospital." Joey whispered. "I'm movin' back to Manchester for a bit. Wanna spend time with my parents an' my old mates." He shrugged and rubbed one cheek into her palm. "I can't stay- when she's gone. She's movin' on, an' so am I. I put in for residency 'cause of her, an' now I'm gonna apply at the hospital where my mum works. Be close to her an' m' dad." _Because I don't know where I'll end up. I have a feelin', I'll end up wherever this girl is...

_ "That's good. Staying near your family." Dawn nodded eagerly, knowing full well how family could make even the worst hell spawned town feel like the only place in the world for you, and being alone in the most gorgeous place in the world feel like purgatory. "Vance will understand."_

_ "I know. In time. Right now, she feels a little guilty about leavin' the place, leavin' me behind. Don't want her to think I can't stick it without her- even if it's true."_

_ "You'll visit." Dawn whispered. "Both ways."_

_ "I know." Joey caressed her cheek with his strong thumb. "But if it makes it harder for her to get on- well- I'll keep it to m'self a bit longer."_

_ "But it's making you look all pained. I hardly ever see you without a smile, but now..." Dawn bit her own lip and traced his thinned lips._

_ "It's worth it. 'Sides, I have you, now? Don't I?" He asked, that boyish grin sliding slowly home._

_ "Yeah. You have me." Dawn went into his arms and hugged all the worry away. "You totally have me."_

* * *

><p><em> "We have everything set, then." Vance forced herself to sound brave and cheerful as she finished her packing, only a small overnight bag with her this time. "Everything that I'm not selling with the flat and that won't fit in my cases when I fly in is here. The dress is ordered and the final fitting date is set. The girls have their outfits and the matching shoes." Vance ticked off items on her list, leaning on her suitcase.<em>

_ "The rings are here, the flowers and food have been ordered, and the music is set." Giles sighed heavily and looked around the house as he led her from the bedroom to the living room. This house. _Their_ house. _

_ "I believe everything is in readiness for the big night." He nodded firmly, a small smile on his lips. "As well as a few things for- erm- married life?" He coughed with a trace of nervousness. _Married life. Bloody hell.

_ "Oh?" Vance raised one smooth, dark brow above her glasses._

_ "Dawn has some clients lined up for you already. One of the coven's new members wants to speak with you about- rm- some conception issues. I believe her husband has some demon blood. Then one of the Watchers, Andrew and his wife Vi, she's a Slayer. They've had three- um- three losses early on in pregnancy. They don't know why, but the regular doctors can't explain it." Giles hated bringing that up, but it was her job, what she was fighting for. "Willow has some other ideas about transporting you to the severely magically injured through use of some touch and truth activated portal that she'd teach Watchers and Slayers to use. It'd send a distress signal to you, as it were, and you'd have the answering signal that would let you pass to them. She just needs to know if we approve."_

_ "I suppose airplanes wouldn't help in a crisis." Vance sighed. _

_ "If there's enough time, some chronic issue, or something with Slayers and pregnancy- Vi is only the second one to mention trouble, so we've no idea if that'll be a common problem- then yes, trains, planes, and automobiles are the way to go. If it's urgent, I'm afraid it's going to have to be something like a portal."_

_ "I don't know if I like portals." Vance bit her upper lip in that nervous gesture that undid her normally reserved lover._

_ "That's just the term. With someone of Willow's power, it's more like a bumpy car ride at high speeds, or walking through an open door- and falling down a flight of stairs."_

_ "Delightful." Vance said ruefully._

_ "One of us'll go with you. Willow at first. She's handy with first aid. Medicine was something she studied- as well as hacking. And science. She's quite a genius, really."_

_ "I know, Luv. I'll try it. And can we make some sort of surgery here? Just a small one? In case I can't help them on the scene?"_

_ "Of course, Darling. We'll find something. We'll find something perfect for you. So you'll be perfectly at home." Giles kissed her cheek._

_ "I _am_ perfectly at home." Vance smiled and returned the gesture._

_ "I just don't ever want to give you a reason to leave." Giles suddenly voiced his deep, hidden fear._

_ "This is the last time I leave." Vance stroked his lightly shadowed jaw. "I'll be back in three weeks. When I come next time, it'll be to stay." Vance reassured him._

_ "To stay. I do love that phrase."_

_ "So do I, Lover. Been a long time coming."_

* * *

><p>Author's notes- I lied. The next chapter is the wedding! This chapter was going to be the size of a novelette if I didn't tie it off. So sorry, I'm hoping by next weekend we'll be updated!<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Dedicated to Hannah LooksthatKill Sixx, Lithium Reaper, Spuffy Fan, ginar369, alexiarrose, Sarcastic Bunny, Buffymuse93, Sweet T-3, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XX

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of Starting Over)

**One week away**

_"Are you sure you can't come with me now?" Vance suddenly clutched Joey's hand with an anxious gasp._

_ "I'll be there in a few days, Vee!" Joey pried her off, then immediately hugged would be the last time he dropped Vance off at the airport- well- as a single woman. As someone coming back in a few days. No, this was for good. The next time he collected her or dropped her off, it would be as a visitor in her once home country. "Don't turn into too big of a yank, alright?"_

_ "I promise. If I had to pick a family across the pond, at least I picked a nice ex-patriate friendly crowd." She hugged him back, hard, swaying with him by the side of the car._

_ "Yeah, that you did. Now- now, you packed a proper coat, didn't you?" Joey pulled back and critically eyed her long tan trench coat, sleek and tailored- and hardly warm enough for those snowy New York winters. "Dawn told me they already frost and flurries."_

_ "Yes, but it's warmed up. This weekend should be- should be mild and sunny, clear at night." Vance's heart rate sped up. This weekend. She'd be married at the end of it. _

_ "You still need a coat."_

_ "Yes, Mum." She rolled her eyes._

_ "Stop that, or I'll volunteer to cover next weekend."_

_ "Joseph Brooke, you wouldn't dare!"_

_ "No. I wouldn't." He hugged her one more time and kissed the side of her long glossy brown hair, fluffing it up as he did so. "Giles is gonna devour you in the arrival lounge, Luv. You have that radiant thing goin' on."_

_ "You should see me in the dress." Vance remarked with a wink._

_ "I will, Vee. Now- go on. I'll be over there soon."_

_ "I'll give Dawn your love."_

_ "Now, stop tryin' to do that. I'll do it myself soon enough." He smirked._

_ "You'd better make a move soon. I keep expecting you to spontaneously combust."_

_ "Ha ha ha." He laughed drily and rolled his eyes as well. "You're the one who needs to make a move. Go, Luv, before your luggage ends up in Pine Ridge without you."_

_ They embraced once more, both of them drawing on all the "stiff upper lip" reserve they possessed not to start bawling. "I do love you, Joey." Vance finally separated them, touching his cheek._

_ "Love you, too." He looked at her fondly before holding open the glass door of the terminal for her. "It's not goodbye- it's see you Thursday." He winked. She winked back, throat too tight for words, and blew him a kiss before she collected herself and walked away. Leaving him behind._

_ Just as he was about to have a good "sensitive modern man" session of crying on the way to the pub- his phone began to buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and grinned when he saw Dawn's number. "British Bloke Fantasy Hotline, how may I make your dreams come true?" He answered saucily._

_ "You're _so_ not in need of comforting." Dawn finally managed to say once she stopped giggling._

_ "Actually- was just about to cry my way to the pub." Joey confessed in a low voice, getting back in the car. _

_ "I figured you were dropping her off about now."_

_ "Just finished."_

_ "Yeah. So I called to perk you up."_

_ "Oh, you do, Beautiful. It's just- kind of- suddenly this town seems lonely. 'Cause I'm the only one left, it feels like." _Because there were only two of us to begin with, in this crazy world- and all the rest of the people who fill up my thoughts are across the Atlantic now...

_ Dawn's voice was a comforting murmur. "Don't think of it as you being left. Think of her being the one to finally move on after being stuck in limbo for so many years."_

_ Joey smiled and nodded to himself. "I've been telling her to move on- just didn't think it'd feel so empty when she finally did."_

* * *

><p><strong>Two nights away... Say goodbye<strong>

_"Move it, out of the way, out of the way!" Xander rolled a keg from the car to the patio of Spike and Buffy's house._

_ "Is this the last one?" Spike handed the third keg to Buffy who lifted it as easily as her husband was carrying the other two._

_ "If three isn't enough, someone's gonna need a new liver in the morning." Xander wiped his forehead. "The guy at the liquor superstore thinks we're having a crowd of sixty people. I think he might have called the cops if I told him we had a crowd of six instead."_

_ "Well it takes a lot to affect me."_

_ "Yeah, vamp." Xander grimaced._

_ "No, English. Brits can put it away." Spike smiled and walked down to the basement. In honor of the upcoming Stag Night, the room had lost its training room feel and felt more like a sports bar. Dart boards, a pool table, the Karaoke machine, (Dawn had insisted, loudly) and two card tables were set up, as well as a long table filled with liquor and ice buckets. _

_ "Yeah, but there aren't_ that_ many Brits coming. I feel very left out. The only actual American invited to tonight's little get together." Xander put down the crate of bottles he was carrying. "We need another table. There's no room for food."_

_ "If you guys throw up in here- I'm gonna kill you. Giles' will be short a best man, attendants, and- and well- if he throws up I guess we'll be short a groom, so there'd be no wedding- so- no one barf, okay?" Buffy concluded plaintively._

_ "We'll be good as gold, Luv." Spike kissed her creased brow. "And no- I know what you're thinkin', I said there wouldn't be a stripper and there won't be. Once you have the real thing- you don't need cheap imitations." _

_ "I wasn't worried about you guys ordering one. I was worried about- well- I guess Robson is the only one I was worried about. I know Giles trusts him, but I don't even know his first name after all this time. I still think of him as one of the 'old Watchers', the kind I don't like."_

_ "Wesley's coming. You don't think of him like that, do you?" Spike soothed._

_ "No! Besides, he's married to that sweet scientist, Fred. Willow and her are like- blood bonded already." Buffy laughed good naturedly. "All the married guys- and Joey's so head over heels for Dawn- Spike, stop snarling- that I don't think anyone of them would want a stripper."_

_ "Oh, we do." Xander popped a beer nut in his mouth. "It's every man's fantasy."_

_ "Steady on!" Spike cried, glaring._

_ "I'm not finished, Dental Work Boy. The fantasy is the sultry removal of clothing." Xander waggled his eyebrows at Buffy. "The fantasy girl changes for every man. For me, it's gotta be a red head who has a magic wand thing going on. A little abra, a little cadabra and... is Willow at our place or with Dawn getting the cake for the bridal shower?" Xander suddenly asked hoarsely._

_ "They got back right before you." Buffy smiled and tried not to laugh._

_ " 'Scuse me." Xander hurried away without a backwards glance._

_ Buffy and Spike burst into guffaws as he hobbled quickly away, an obvious stiffness in his gait caused by a less than obvious stiffening of something else. "Somethin' tells me Dawn an' Joey are gonna have to finish getting ready for the shower an' the stag without too much help." Spike slid his arm around Buffy's waist._

_ "Why?" Buffy giggled and pushed herself away playfully._

_ "He's right, you know. It is every man's fantasy. Well- one of 'em." He licked his lips. _

_ "What? Tassels and sequins?" Buffy pouted at him._

_ "Oh no. Just you. Something skimpy. Me sittin', you standin' over me... dammit, is Dawn at Willow's still?"_

_ "Uh-huh." Buffy's voice was a narrow squeak. "William's with Vance."_

_ "How do you feel about that hot pink number?"_

_ "That's a bikini." She pointed out as he hauled her up the stairs, leading her by her wrist._

_ Spike groaned. "Oh, God, I don't suppose you'd consider a little suntan lotion action as well as the gyratin' slowly?"_

_ "That'd turn you on? Watching me put on sunscreen?"_

_ Spike froze, turned on the stairs and just stared at her, practically salivating._

_ "Stupid question." Buffy blushed and followed him up to their bedroom at double time. _

_ "Gimme a second." Buffy rummaged in her drawer._

_ "Take your time." Spike perched on the edge of the bed after locking the bedroom door, loosening his belt. _

_ Buffy could feel the happiness, the excitement emanating from him. "You're practically thrumming." She laughed, finding her hot pink swimsuit. _

_ "My incredibly gorgeous wife agreed to give me a little show. I'm gonna reach richter scale territory in a minute, Pet." Spike looked at her with lust filled eyes that scorched her. And then dropped. "Few years ago- if I ever- I could never have asked for this." He whispered. "That's what turns me on. That you love me enough to be my- partner. My wife." He smiled a William smile, pure and soft, down at his boots._

_ Buffy came over swiftly and knelt in front of him, catching his chin in her hands. "A few years ago- I wouldn't have felt beautiful enough, or trusting enough, or loved enough to do this. No matter who I was with, how he treated me. You're the only one who sees me like I am- and loves me perfectly, completely." She traced a smile on his mouth, a cockier one, to match her own slowly forming smirk. "You can't go back and change the past, just make a better future. More loving, more playful. More happy." She slowly stood, twisting once as she did, shaking her hip meaningfully in his direction. _

_ "Most happy, Luv." He leaned back and watched her disappear into the bathroom. "You want music?"_

_ "Sure, Honey. This is your fantasy." She winked at him, sticking her head around the door. "You put on whatever you want. Oh- and you might want to lose the shirt." She swung herself back through the door._

_ "I'm in heaven. Dunno how I got there, but here I am." Spike sighed, stripped out of his shirt and ran to the stereo, looking for just the right music._

* * *

><p><em> "Turn up the music! Here he is! The man of the hour. The one, the only, Ruuuuupert Giles!" Xander did the introduction of the groom-to-be on the karaoke machine's microphone.<em>

_ Wild applause broke out from the small, but vociferous gathering of men in the basement. "About bloody time!" Robson shouted._

_ "Even _I_ managed to tie the knot before you." Wesley shook his head sadly._

_ "Quiet or I'll fence you." Giles smiled evilly._

_ "You might not win this time." Wesley grinned back with cool deliberation._

_ "Oh-kay, the pissing contest is for later, boys." Xander separated the two. "We need to get this started off right. Joey, would you get the guest of honor a beer?"_

_ "On it." Joey beamed. "I'll take this round, who wants what?"_

_ "Best bitter." Giles nodded._

_ "Same." Robson echoed._

_ "Single malt." Spike helped the young man start filling glasses._

_ "I'll have that if there's an open bottle." Wesley agreed._

_ "Bud." Xander said. The room froze. "Well, gosh darn it, I didn't grow up drinking this black, bitter stuff that'll corrode your intestines on contact!"_

_ "Get the American his Bud, and be grateful he didn't ask for Bud Light." Robson teased. _

_ "Oi- my wife's an American. My son's an American citizen, though God, I hope he learns to talk properly. Watch yourself." Spike growled at the dark haired Watcher, partially to keep him in line, and partially to defend Xander in an off hand way._

_ "Gotta say- I love American women." Joey chipped in. Spike, Giles, and Xander all glared at him so hard he thought he felt his spine crack. "I'm sorry. I should've said 'woman'. As in just the one."_

_ "Well, I love them all, American, English." Giles cried magnanimously. "But only one captures the heart and leads it to the altar. To Vance."_

_ "To Vance!"_

* * *

><p><em> "Aww, 'To Vance, love Tanya'. Thank you, my darling little flower girl." Vance cuddled her new "granddaughter-to-be". <em>

_ "You're welcome, Vanss." Tanya lisped out in her toddler voice._

_ "You didn't register for anything so- we just winged it." Willow shrugged nervously._

_ "I always love surprise gifts, they're the best." Fred, Wesley's wife giggled in her sweet Texan accent. _

_ "I quite agree with you, Fred." Vance liked this woman instantly. _

_ "You don't mind that we didn't invite more people to this, right?" Buffy put another gift in front of the bride, joining a small stack. Dawn, Willow, Fred, Tanya, William and herself were the only ones there. _

_ "Oh, goodness, no! When Dawn told me about American bridal showers I was quite nervous that it'd be some huge, flowery event with dozens of strangers. We don't do that so much in England, you just give a gift at the wedding."_

_ "I feel like an intruder almost. You all should've just keep this family." Fred blushed._

_ "Wives of Watchers are totally family." Willow smiled at her science nerd buddy. "Besides, Wesley had to be here for the stag night, he's one of the only people Giles even considered inviting. And it'd be silly for you to fly in on Saturday."_

_ "This town is going to be the safest town in the world by tomorrow night." Fred laughed. "Faith's still real close to Angel, she was trying to get him to come. I'm sorry he couldn't get away. He'll send somethin' nice, I know he will."_

_ "He gives great wedding gifts." Buffy whispered, looking at her son, thinking of the necklace that had helped procure him._

_ Fred looked uncertain about that statement, but nodded. "Faith's still coming, isn't she?"_

_ "I think so." Vance looked to her surrogate daughters who'd been keeping track of the guest list. All of them nodded, although Buffy and Willow didn't look very happy. "Is Faith not a close friend?"_

_ "She tried to kill me a couple times, but we're cool now." Buffy shrugged._

_ "She'd totally have macked on Spike if she hadn't fallen for tall, dark, and demon hunter." Dawn explained her sister's current attitude towards the brunette slayer._

_ "She's just very tangled up in our lives. We all are, in each other's lives. It's kind of... soap opera-y." Willow wriggled uncomfortably. Xander only loved her now, on this earth, but he'd been with Faith once. Literally- once, as in one time._

_ "We so needed to get some new blood." Dawn hugged Vance's shoulders. "Thanks for coming into the crazy clan."_

_ "My complete pleasure." She beamed. "Now- let's open one of these pretty boxes. William- your turn to help me." William zoomed over, scattering paper and people in his wake, making all of them laugh. "You won't run up the aisle with the rings, will you, Darling?" Vance caught him in her arms before he lunged up into her lap._

_ "He's going to end up breaking so many bones- other people's, not his own." Buffy groaned, watching her super strong son._

_ "Will not. Gentle touches." William pouted at his mother and pointedly stroked Vance's arm. _

_ "Yes, that's right, gentle touches." Buffy praised. She and Spike had been working with him on controlling his strength, hard as it was for the almost two year old to understand or do. Tanya was actually the most helpful with training him not to play rough. He wouldn't hurt his little best friend for anything in the world, and Tanya was a fast learner at what to say and do when her playmate got too rambunctious._

_ "You are precious." Vance kissed his blonde hair and settled him into her lap along side the box._

_ "I know..." Fred looked at him. "Makes me think about starting our own family." _

_ "Really?" Willow squealed._

_ "Well- I'd have to talk to Wesley about it. I don't think he'd like a surprise like that. Well, actually, I think he would, we've been through so much together." Fred tittered. "Sorry- I'm just crashing all over your bridal shower, Vance."_

_ Vance smiled. "On the contrary. This is what family is like, talking about your lives, planning, laughing, cuddling people." She tickled William who giggled and squirmed on her lap. "Really, girls- and boys-" She tickled William again, "that's all the present this particular bride wanted."_

* * *

><p><em> "Want another one, mate?" Spike chalked his cue as he asked the groom.<em>

_ "Pacing myself. I'm hoping I'm still operable when I get home to Vance." He looked at the blonde vampire with a thoroughly debauched grin, already quite nicely buzzed. He took his shot and sank two in the corner pocket. _

_ "You sly devil." Spike laughed at him. _

_ "You'd know." Giles countered. _

_ Spike lined up his own shot, furtively checking over his shoulder. The other four occupants of the room were playing poker and smoking cigars. "Speakin' of things I know- you deserve this. An' I'm real pleased for you."_

_ Giles put down his cue. "Are we having a-hic- a meaningful conversation?" He looked at him warily._

_ "Bloody hell, I hope not. I just wanted you to know- I was pleased for you." Spike flubbed his shot, uncomfortably twitching under the Watcher's stare. "Well, you've had a long time of heart ache, and you held it together better than I ever did. Gotta admire that."_

_ "Well, unlike you, I had love and support." Giles leaned on the table and eyed Spike seriously. "How long were you in love with her? Really?"_

_ Spike looked away. "I don't know. Started sometime between when Willow accidentally 'betrothed' us and that next winter."_

_ "And you were in love with her all that time after." Giles suddenly smacked the back of his head._

_ "Ow! Hey!"_

_ "Pillock. You went about it the wrong way." He glared._

_ "Don't you think I know that, you bastard?" Spike growled. _

_ "Play nice or I'll stake you with your cue!" Xander called absently from behind them._

_ "Handlin' it, Lefty." Spike called back, before turning to Giles. "Of course, I did it badly, I was evil! And she was so- so damn annoying. And everything wonderful." He looked wistfully away, reaching out through his claim bond just to feel her nearby- and there she was, clear in his mind's eye, laughing, pulling William's hands out of a big piece of pink and white cake. "Don't you think I know every second of every day how lucky I am that we're here? I tried to push her away, to save her that last second in Sunnydale- and she chose me. It was sudden, and stupid, an'- an' no one's ever been luckier than I've been. Living or dead." He concluded, blinking hastily. "Sod it, Rupert, I was just tryin' to tell you I was glad you'd found what I found!"_

_ Giles sidled closer to Spike. "I know. And I was just trying to say- you and I had long, hard, lonely roads. For different reasons. But we got there in the end. Odd as it seems to me, because I was sure I'd never feel this way- but I'm glad you love Buffy, and she loves you. I-I am- slightly pleased that you're in my family." Giles polished his glasses furiously after that remark._

_ Spike stared at him, blinking. "Well- that's- that's real nice of you, mate. I don't remember my father, you know. Not much, died when I was young, and he'd been in India for awhile before that. I'm- I'm glad you're Buffy's dad. An' you're there for me, too. Sorta." He sniffed in manfully and became very interested in his chalk._

_ "Hm. No worries." Giles found his own piece of chalk fascinating._

_ "Want another?" Spike picked up his mug._

_ "God, yes." The two hurriedly parted. Giles smiled silently to himself, when no one else could see. They'd spent too long, too tightly knit, him and these people. He'd have expected something like that from Willow, Buffy, or even Xander, but Spike? Never. Must be what alcohol can do to you..._

* * *

><p><em> "We can't-possibly be out of Bud." Xander slurred morosely.<em>

_ "No, but you're looking in the closet, not the cooler." Joey laughed and led him back to the table. "You might want to slow down. I hear you and Willow had unfinished business from earlier."_

_ "She's _my_ wife! What d'you know about it?" Xander demanded fiercely._

_ "Just what you told him during poker, steady on." Wesley clumsily put the brunette down in a folding chair._

_ "D'you know she can unbutton your pants just by looking at you- if she wants to?" Xander smiled goofily up at them. _

_ "You did mention that." Wesley laughed softly, hiccuping at the end. "Oh. Don't remember eating that. I don't remember eating. Did we eat?" He called loudly._

_ "More food on the end table." Giles called, hearing Wesley's last remark. He and Robson were playing darts- rather badly- on the opposite side of the room._

_ "She can just look at you- and whoop! No more clothes. On either of you. And then a little abra- a little cadabra- she said I'm her magic wand." Xander beamed foolishly at Wesley, Joey, and now Spike was there. _

Good old Spike. Good old Giles and Spike, my very best pals. Besides Willow and Buffy. Ooh, Willow and Buffy- no, bad thought. Don't want Buffy to get in with me and Willow. Not special. Not in love._ "I love her but not like that." Xander proclaimed, looking pointedly at Spike._

_ "What, you an' Red?"_

_ "Oh, no, I love Red like- I mean Willow- like that. Not Buffy. Y'shee, Buffy is yours. An' Willow is mine. And Fred- that's a funny name- is Wesley's. Vance is Giles. Joey- Joey, is Dawnie yours?"_

_ "Damn straight." Joey said firmly. _

_ "That's nice. Isn't that nice, Spike?" _

_ "You hurt my girl an' I'll pull your lungs out through your ears." Spike warned the younger Brit moodily._

_ "I can't hurt her, I love her!" Joey frowned and pushed up close to Spike. "You hurt my girl an' I'll- wait. Sorry. You're her brother, aren't you? You wouldn't hurt her." Joey blinked and resolved to slow down his liquid intake. He put his pint off to the side and took a step out of Spike's snarling face. "Sorry."_

_ "Did you just threaten me? For Dawn?" Spike asked, glowering._

_ "Think so." Joey backed up further._

_ "Did you hear that?" Spike looked proudly at Xander, then over at Giles. "Rupert!"_

_ "What! Oh, hell, that's left a mark in the wall." Giles' dart went wide as he turned to face Spike._

_ "Brooke here just started to get tough guy on me. For Dawn."_

_ "Oh. Good." Giles smiled and nodded. _

_ "We love you, man." Xander clumsily lurched to his feet and threw his arms around the rugby player._

_ "Feelin' a bit lost now." Joey looked helplessly at Spike._

_ "Dawn needs someone who'll step up if he's gotta." Spike grinned. "Knew I liked you. Xan- let him go before you start snogging him."_

_ Xander fell back in his chair. "I only want to snog Willow. See. All of us have a snogging buddy now. Even Giles."_

_ "What?" Giles thought he was being called._

_ "You have Vance."_

_ "I know I do." Giles looked flummoxed._

_ "Oh, ignore him. Let him take a little nap and he'll make sense again."_

* * *

><p><em> "I'm up! Where's everyone?" Xander'd only been out for about twenty minutes. <em>

_ "Over here, idiot." Spike called cheerfully from the poker table. " Raise you ten."_

_ "I'm out." Giles sighed. "You could at least let the groom win."_

_ "Never." Wesley said around his cigar. "You'd become impossibly smug."_

_ "Unless you want me to have Buffy imitate your first weeks in Sunnydale with painful detail at the reception, I'd be quiet, Price."_

_ "Remember when he fainted?" Xander let out a drunken, braying laugh._

_ "Which time?" Giles pushed away from the table. "I'll go talk to this nice, intelligent man in the corner." He turned from the game and the ribbing Wesley was taking and went to sit beside Xander._

_ "I hate to admit it, but Spike's right. You guys can out drink me." Xander huffed and clutched his stomach. "I'm in dry dock until we do the required round of final shots."_

_ "I don't think we outdrank you." Giles said kindly, easing down beside him. "I think you just drank more, faster. We haven't had a celebration like this in- well, in ever. We didn't have this kind of do for you or Spike."_

_ "Not even the first time." Xander thought back to his wedding to Anya, the wedding he should have had. _But then- no Willow and him. No Tanya. No Tanya. God, please... no more hard choices...

_ "If tomorrow is too painful-" Giles murmured softly, but Xander talked over him, sleepy eye suddenly very focused._

_ "You know, I never really had much to do with my dad. Or mom." _

_ "I know."_

_ "If Buffy hadn't come to town- I don't think I'd ever have had anyone but Willow. But Joyce- after she knew what Buffy was, and until- until the end, she was like a mom to all of us."_

_ "She was a wonderful person." Giles nodded._

_ "Yeah, but, a guy needs a dad." _

_ "Don't do this, Xander. I forbid it." Giles felt his eyes prickle suddenly._

_ "I'm not gonna cry. Nobody cries, 'cause we're all big, manly men." Xander laughed hoarsely. Giles looked relieved. "I just wanted to tell you- you've been like a dad to me, and I didn't even know it at first, 'cause I'd never had it, not before you rolled into the library sophomore year of high school."_

_ "Well. I'm- I'm flattered. And you've been the best son a man could ask for. I don't know why your father - well, sometimes you've said you thought you weren't what he wanted. I'd just like to say- your biological father is an asshole."_

_ Xander blinked, and then laughed so hard he gagged and tears started to leak from his eye._

_ "Do I need to do some medic-ing?" Joey called._

_ "No!" Giles thumped him on the back. "I shouldn't have said that."_

_ "Why not? It's so true." Xander sighed out a final laugh. _

_ "I don't know what he wanted- some boy who could throw a football, perhaps? How he managed to overlook the fact that you're brave, and clever, and loyal... that you're kind and devoted to your friends and true to yourself... I'll just leave it that the man's brain is firmly lodged in his lower intestine and say no more."_

_ "Thanks, G-Man." Xander thumped his fist lightly on Giles' elbow. "I gotta thank you."_

_ "For insulting your father and praising you?"_

_ "That's just gravy. Thanks for being a single parent during the suckiest years of raising kids, late teens and early adulthood- plus managing apocalypse central and your own crap. And man- for a guy with no girlfriend until recently, you've got a lot of brats to take care of." He smiled broadly and Giles tried not to look moved at his heartfelt words. "I'm honored beyond belief you chose me to be your best man- because you- you are the best man I know."_

_ "Dammit." Giles hugged him furiously and nodded wordlessly on his shoulder for a minute. Finally, he managed to say, "You're welcome."_

_ "Anytime."_

* * *

><p><em> "Any time you're ready." Wesley challenged, staring Giles and Robson down.<em>

_ "I'm ready." Giles glared._

_ "Never been beaten." Robson bared his teeth._

_ "Why am I disqualified?" Spike whined._

_ "Because you're superhuman, now shut up." Xander nodded to Joey, who put three tallboys in front of the three men. "And on three. One, two, three-"_

_ "Get it down, you Zulu warrior, get it down, you Zulu chief..." Five of the men sang and Giles seized his glass and started draining it._

Ten minutes, and many various curse words later...

_ "I think- the bar- is closed." Giles said with a mighty belch. "Oh, that's not right..."_

_ "We haven't had the darts tournament yet." Robson, still sipping, and apparently possessed of a hollow leg, and maybe a hollow liver, reminded them complacently. _

_ "Drunken feathers leads to you lookin' like Xander, no offense, mate." Joey closed his eyes and rested his cold soda on his slightly pounding head._

_ "No offense, future brother-in-law of mine." Xander noogied him. "Or would that be step-brother? Or both? Giles?"_

_ "All of you should - should shut up." Wesley staggered up. "Or at least stop shouting."_

_ "I'm not shouting." Spike declared. "Am I? BUUUFFFFFYY! Am I shouting?" Everyone winced and held their heads._

_ "You are now!" Buffy's voice rang out from the second floor. "And if you wake up the kiddos, or Dawn, I'm gonna come down there and kick all of your non-bachelor asses."_

_ "Well, that lets us out." Robson smiled at Joey, who nodded in relief._

_ "Sorry, Luv!" Spike called more softly._

_ "She's not able to hear-" Wesley began and then stopped as Buffy's voice drifted down._

_ "It's okay, Baby. Are you guys gonna be done soon?"_

_ "Couple hours, tops." Spike replied._

_ "How'd they-"_

_ "All in the neck." Spike winked and showed a decidedly human looking bite indented in his pale skin._

_ "Oh, claims. That's fascinating. Giles, shouldn't we be recording more about them as the only such claimed pair?" Wesley looked at the guest of honor._

_ "I'm not a bloody research paper." Spike snapped._

_ "We've written down some things. Dawn and I." Giles soothed. "Things that Buffy and Spike don't mind sharing."_

_ "Are they-"_

_ "In the encrypted, online archive. Updated weekly." Robson supplied. "Take a night off, Wesley, old man, and don't pester the groom about work. This is his second to last night as a carefree, unshackled man."_

_ "Yes. Thank God." Giles got up and headed over to the downstairs powder room. "Aspirin? Any takers?"_

_ "Please." Wesley rose as well, but the others shook their heads._

_ Giles fetched the bottle and leaned next to the severely depleted makeshift bar and grabbed a bottle of water. Wesley did the same and held out his hand. "We haven't done this in- years." The stubble, rugged brunette grinned crookedly._

_ "We've never done this. I made you tea, you priss."_

_ "We've changed. You were quite the stuffed shirt, you know. When I was at the Academy we used to have an expression for the students who'd been doing poorly and then become more serious. Said they'd done an 'R.G'. _Rupert_." Wesley grinned smugly._

_ "Head boy."_

_ "Bad seed."_

_ "Pompous nancy twit."_

_ "Librarian fuddy duddy." _

_ Both of them stopped trading barbs with a sudden laugh. "Look how far we've come. We're both in jeans." Giles shook his head._

_ "More- we've both found someone." Wesley smiled a melancholy, content smile. "Hasn't been easy- but we got them."_

_ "She's a dear." Giles referred to Fred._

_ "Oh, your Vance is a stunner. A little too reserved for my tastes. I like Fred's spunk, her spirit, her- her unbeatable outlook."_

_ "Don't let the reserve fool you. She's a wildcat underneath. And those legs..."_

_ "Hm." Wesley preferred not to mention aspects of his wife's body that he was currently thinking of. "She makes you happy."_

_ "So much. So very, very much." Giles nodded, crashing back with a hedonistic smile and heavy lidded, very Ripper-esque eyes._

_ "Glad." Wesley regarded him with a scruffy smile of his own._

_ "You've changed." Giles nodded to the younger man._

_ "So've you."_

_ "For the better?"_

_ "Not to sound corny, but love makes everything better. Glad we both overcame that Watcher mentality. Watch, always watch, don't get too close."_

_ "Cheers, mate." Giles clinked his water bottle to Wesley's. "To getting off the sidelines and into the fray." _

_ "Cheers. The thick of the battle is the most painful, but sometimes it's where you find the best things in life. All the rare treasures."_

_ Giles looked at him as he sighed out that poignant phrase. "You're haven't changed as much as I thought." He taunted with a roll of his eyes. "But I'm still glad you're here. And we both made it this far."_

* * *

><p><em> "Far be it from me to get the groom in a rage an' possibly my girlfriend as well, but I've got to do my warnin' bit." Joey had been dreading this moment for weeks. He'd been preparing it for months, and then - never got too far into it, never really spelled it out. Not to his face. Not that he needed to. But he needed to. <em>Started to talk like these folks...

_ "What's that, Joey?" Giles turned his back on the current sickening contest- who could get the most olives in their mouth._

_ "My warnin' bit. As the man who's givin' Vance to you. On Saturday night- technically- wow, technically that's tomorrow night."_

_ "Warn away." Giles crossed his arms and regarded the younger man with a faintly smug smile. _

_ " Here goes-you hurt her, they'll be finding bits of you for months. I'd hate to do it, and I'm sure it'd cost me Dawn, but, well- I'm the one Vee took under her wing, an' I'm protectin' her now. One more time, before I hand her over to you."_

_ "I assure you-"_

_ "No, see, I know you love her, and she loves you, and trusts you, and you'd die before you willingly hurt her. She wouldn't have let herself fall in love if she didn't feel pretty damn safe."_

_ "She is safe. I promise you- she's safe from any harm I could inflict. From this life- well, it's a dangerous life, and I did my best to dissuade her."_

_ "Oh, that." Joey shrugged. "She's been helpin' the shadowy inhabitants of this earth for years and I never knew about it. I'm talkin' about you. You're a good man. But if anything ever happened, and I hadn't said what I gotta say- well- I couldn't deal."_

_ "I understand. I did this same thing with Spike- even though I knew there was no point in it. Yet- we do it."_

_ "I know!" Joey nodded. "Feel real responsible, you know- 'cause she picked me to 'give her away'. Makes me feel like anything that happens after this is all back on my head, 'cause I'm handin' her over. Three thousand odd miles of over." He winced._

_ "I know." Giles sighed. "I offered to move, you know that?"_

_ "I know. She shot you down before you could finish the sentence, I'm sure."_

_ "Before I could even finish the word." They laughed._

_ "That's Vee."_

_ "It is. Look, Joseph, you can trust me for two very good reasons."_

_ "Just two?" He asked skeptically. "No offense, but I thought there'd be a few more than that, mate."_

_ "They're big reasons." He gave him a wry smile. _

_ "Spill."_

_ "I love her more than my own life, so for any harm to come to her, I would have to already be dead. Which is the equivalent of your threat and therefore - your warning is doubly enforced." He grinned. _

_ "And the second reason?"_

_ "You have- or will have, in a very short time, I'm willing to bet, something as precious to me as Vance is to you." He raised an eyebrow and jerked his head to the ceiling, referring to the sleeping woman a few floors above. Joey flushed and nodded. "Consider this an exchange, Brooke. You trust me with Vance- one day I'll trust you with Dawn- if that's what you both choose." _

_ "Fair enough." Joey's usually broad grin broadened even further. _

_ "Fair enough." Giles agreed. He turned to the small group who were still engrossed in watching Spike's feat of balancing three olives on his tongue and then tossing them in the air and catching them. "Can I have your attention?"_

_ All heads turned to him. "As the guest of honor- I'd like to say a few words."_

_ "Speech! Speech!" Xander chanted and clapped his hands._

_ "I am getting married tomorrow- as it is now technically Friday morning." Raucous cheers prompted him to take a little bow- and lurch forward into Robson's arms. Robson righted him and Giles patted him on the shoulder. "Thank you."_

_ "Anytime, Rupert." They shared a brief look. They didn't talk much, those two. But they'd always been around, never lost touch, even in periods of disgrace or crisis. That look silently promised the relationship would continue._

_ "As I was saying. Tomorrow night, I tie the knot. I become a husband. This is an event I never thought to see come to pass." _

_ "Not the way you dress." Spike mocked. Xander elbowed him to silence._

_ "I'm not leaving you behind, but I'm saying goodbye in a way. This is the end of an era. A very long, complicated era."_

_ "You deserve this, G-Man!" Xander nodded._

_ "I hate to agree with Jolly Roger, but I agree." Spike joined in. _

_ "Amen."_

_ "Hear, hear."_

_ "Quite."_

_ "Yes. Well- I'd like to thank you all for coming and tell you to get the hell out, so I can go see my lovely bride to be." Giles slurred slightly. "After one more drink."_

_ One more drink." They chorused, and there was a rush to grab some sort of beverage._

_ "You have to end with a toast." Robson prodded._

_ "I just did one. All that 'end of an era' rubbish. That was it." Giles protested._

_ "It's not a toast without a drink." Wesley sided with Robson._

_ "Great, let's get the humans _more_ drunk." Spike sighed as Xander and Joey seemed to be holding each other up as they grabbed glasses._

_ "C'mon Giles- you give really great speeches. It's not an apocalypse without a Giles or Buffy speech." Xander encouraged._

_ "Do you want to curse this marriage?" Gils asked, aghast._

_ "Was just an example." Xander shrugged. "Of your speechly goodness."_

_ "You're good with words. Vee only likes blokes with big brains." Joey added encouragement._

_ "And big-"_

_ "I'll knock you through that wall!"_

_ "Oh dear Lord..." Giles took the glass Spike pressed into his hand. "Alright, alright. Erm." He cleared his throat and raised his glass high. "I'm going to borrow from the Royal Navy."_

_ "To the Royal Navy." Robson and Wesley chorused._

_ "No, no! Not the navy itself, one of their traditional sayings, why would I toast the- oh, never mind." Giles collected himself and lifted his glass again with a long suffering sigh. "To sweethearts and wives."_

_ "To sweethearts-" Joey and Robson said warmly,_

_ "-and wives." Xander, Spike, and Wesley managed to clink glasses without breaking anything. _

_ "Now drink up. And get to bed. Big day tomorrow." Giles smiled, and drained his glass._

* * *

><p><strong>One night away<strong>

_ "This is so small town America. Lovin' it." Faith and Wood stepped out of the terminal and looked at the pine covered country side. _

_ "Don't get any ideas. I told the realtor we'd sign on Tuesday." Wood shouldered his bag with a chuckle at his recently wed brunette wife._

_ "Oh, babe, I'd go crazy here. I need some action. New Orleans is my kinda town. Just here to see Giles get himself hitched and back to Sin City." _

_ "That's Vegas, Honey."_

* * *

><p><em> "Ooh, Honey, look at this? Wouldn't you love to come here in the summer?" Andrew ushered Vi, his slayer and his wife, from the train with boyish enthusiasm. <em>

_ "Connecticut's cooler." Vi smiled. "But we can come visit. You know that."_

_ "No." Andrew said bravely. "I think it's better for us to have separate lives. Well, except when it's business. Or medically related." They exchanged a somber smile. "Everyone's moving on." He looked up at the statuesque, slim redhead who was several inches taller than him. "I'm just here to wish Giles well. Then we can go home."_

* * *

><p><em> "We could've stayed home." Lisa touched her girlfriend's arm as they pulled up to the Pine Ridge Holiday Inn.<em>

_ "He's sort of our boss." Kennedy scowled, tossing her ebony locks and regarding her brown sugar sweetheart with a look of muted pain._

_ "So? You think every slayer and demon hunter is gonna drop in on this wedding?"_

_ "No. But... I should. I owe him a lot, for finding me, and helping me find you." She traced her partner's pouty lips._

_ "I would've found you anyway. C'mon, we can turn around, be back in Cleveland by midnight and still dust a few hell spawn before catching the sunrise at the Hall of Fame." Lisa wheedled. _

_ "I'm not still interested in Willow." Kennedy saw through her girlfriend's insistence. "I always knew she had a thing for him." She muttered bitterly. "Best friends, my ass."_

_ "I love your ass, Sweet Cheeks. We don't have to put in an appearance. We're guarding the only active hellmouth in the country. No one will even notice we're not there. "_

_ "Lis..." Kennedy sighed. "It'll all be over in 24 hours. Okay?"_

_ "Don't go near that redhead." Lisa snarled jealously._

_ "Don't you go near anyone but me." Kennedy replied, equally possessively._

* * *

><p><em> "Is it just me, or are there a ton of strangers in town today?" Jason Kerr asked his wife as they headed out for their standing Friday date night. The pizza place seemed full, and the parking lots in front of the local hotels were crowded. <em>

_ "I know... a lot of out of state license plates. People don't usually come to this town. They- they seem to avoid it." Ellie shrugged. She and her husband exchanged a look. There were things in this town that no one mentioned, but you "kind of sort of might have noticed- maybe", if someone forced you to think about it. But there had been a lot less of that in the last few years. "Maybe there's a convention?"_

_ "Probably."_

_ "Or- do you think all these are out of town guests coming for Dawn's dad's wedding?"_

_ "Mr. Giles' wedding is this weekend? I thought that was _next_ weekend!"_

_ "Oh, honestly Jason, don't you ever look at the calendar?"_

_ "You have a billion things all over the calendar, how can I-"_

_ "The invitation is on the fridge! It's tomorrow night at 6:00!"_

* * *

><p><em> "Tonight is just the rehearsal. I'm allowed to see you, aren't I?" Giles called anxiously from the bedroom where he was adjusting his immaculately pressed and cut gray suit, nervously fiddling with his best cufflinks.<em>

_ "You'll have to, I need zipped." Vance sashayed out of the master bathroom in a shimmering gray cocktail dress. _

_ Are you sure we can't get married in these outfits?" He purred over the vision in front of him. _

_ "Positive." She laughed and adjusted the opal choker Giles had given her as an early wedding present. She set center stone in the slender hollow where her neck met her collarbones and fixed him with a simmering smile._

_ "You look stunning."_

_ "You wait until tomorrow night. According to Buffy, my gown makes me 'so totally glasses-polishing worthy with a side of complete stammerage'." Vance turned plaintive eyes to him. "I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't understand a word."_

_ "You learn to translate her curious dialect into standard English after a year or so of almost daily contact." He kissed her forehead. "But for now- I believe she meant that you'll be the most gorgeous bride in the world."_

_ "No..." Vance blushed and picked up her coat from the edge of the bed. "I've seen Buffy and Spike's wedding disc. She was truly beautiful. And Willow and Xander- so serious- but - but almost regal. I'm just-"_

_ "More beautiful than either of them to me. All fathers believe their daughters to be beautiful, but that's through parental eyes. Lover's eyes are completely different." He took her arm as they stepped down the stairs._

* * *

><p><em> "This place looks really different at night..." Dawn took Spike's arm as they walked through the stone arches of St. Fiacre's Episcopalian Cathedral, located beyond Pine Ridge at the county line. "Very... spooky."<em>

_ "Only because it's not filled with everyone rushin' about." Spike looked around the almost vacated cathedral. "Tomorrow night... I'm just glad we get to arrive a bit before the rest of the mob."_

_ "There are people from all over the world here for them." Dawn whispered as the entered the hushed building, feeling Spike stagger away a bit as the passed a cross._

_ "I know- but as far as they're concerned- they're the only two people in the place." He nodded to the bridal couple, whispering intimately together as they walked in a few steps ahead of them._

_ "Can we please have everyone in the bridal party together at the front for a few moments of instructions before we begin?" Cried the pastor, coming out of the room behind the altar, black suited and wearing his white clerical collar._

_ "Yes, this is the bridal party." Giles smiled. "Oh- and the violinist. And the- excuse me, are you the organist or the flautist?"_

_ "Musicians set up by the organ." The pastor directed them. "Everyone else, step right up front."_

_ In a few moments the musicians had set up, the instructions had been given, and places were taken. Giles stood up front beside Reverend Neal, Xander close beside him, Spike a little further back, and Robson at the end, all of them with their eyes riveted to the stately, smiling Watcher in front. _

_ "You okay, G-Man?" Xander asked._

_ "Quiet, I'm concentrating." Giles hissed from the corner of his mouth._

_ "On what?" Spike demanded. _

_ "Not sweating through this suit, or laughing madly."_

_ "Don't lock your knees." Robson offered._

_ "Keep your lips shut." Xander advised. "And uh- um, oh, right! Think of England."_

_ "That's not for weddings, you twit!" Spike elbowed him._

_ "This is only the rehearsal, old man, no need to worry."_

_ "Shush!" Giles glared at all of them._

_ "Oh, here they come. Steady on." Spike nudged Xander's attention back to the front. _

_ Buffy entered first, wiping at her eyes and trying not to stare at Spike more than Giles. Willow entered next, beaming and clasping her hands anxiously. Last came Dawn, chosen to be the maid of honor by Vance, who felt closest to her because of her connection to Joey. Dawn was walking out ahead of schedule, following William who had the rings, and Tanya who had the flowers. "Stop running. Stop running! William!" Dawn hissed as she tried to keep up with her nephew. _

_ "Wait for me!" Tanya lisped, and William slowed as though his heels were voice controlled. Dawn was able to fall back into her more refined walk. _

_ "Alright. This is our cue."Joey straightened his tie. "Why'd we have to make this such a posh affair? Feel like I'm bein' strangled."_

_ "You little worm." Vance swatted him as he took her arm. The organ music swelled and switched to the bridal processional. "You were the one who wanted us to have such a big do!"_

_ "The wedding, yes, the rehearsal, no. I only wear my dress shoes once a year, and twice in two days is gonna blister me right up." _

_ "You can wear my heels if you like." Vance smiled up at him._

_ "Nah, I don't like that strappy look." He winked and swallowed. "You're not nervous, are you?"_

_ "Not really." She smiled up at him. "But ask me tomorrow." She sailed steadily up to Giles, serene smile in place. _

_ "Who presents this woman to be joined to this man in holy matrimony?"_

_ "I, on behalf of all those love her, present this woman." Joey passed her hand to Giles. All three of them exchanged a smile, and unwittingly turned their gaze to Dawn, who had her eyes fixed on Joey. He winked and she blushed. _

_ "Thank you, Luv." Vance kissed his cheek, and Giles grasped his hand, murmuring his own quiet thanks._

_ "No worries." Joey said hoarsely and took a seat at the front, eyes misting slightly as he looked at his beaming friend- and then at Dawn, who he found was still looking at him with a curious, sweet expression. His eyes cleared and he relaxed watching her watch him. He had a sudden realization about why letting Vance go to Giles suddenly seemed less heart twisting than usual. _I think one day I might be asking Giles to return the favor...

* * *

><p><em> " I never realized what a favor you and Willow did by having such simple ceremonies." Giles was lazily circling the dance floor at the restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was being held.<em>

_ "The big church wedding is awesome, though!" Buffy protested, head pulling off his shoulder to fix him with a pout. "I mean, I love what I had, and Willow and Xander chose what they wanted... but I think this is so beautiful. The first big wedding in our family!" She held is gaze. "I think it should've been you."_

_ Giles blinked. "Hardly. It should have been you, if any one of us deserved accolades and celebrations."_

_ Buffy didn't say anything for a moment, not what she was thinking. That he deserved it the most, because he'd had the least, in the longest time. And he'd be the first one first one to leave- and leave for good. Maybe. If things went according to nature in their unnatural plans. How much longer? Another thirty, forty, maybe fifty because of the magic he used and was exposed to? Maybe only another few months because of all the danger they faced? Who knew? She and Spike would stay still, locked at twenty something, maybe for ten years, maybe for ten centuries. The rest of the world would turn and leave them standing in place. _

_ Buffy looked over Giles' shoulder to see Spike dancing with Tanya, the little girl picked up in his arms, the two giggling at each other. William was close behind, swaying in a circle with Willow and Xander. She wouldn't trade her choices, not for anything, guaranteed normalcy or guaranteed immortality... But everything comes with a price. She'd have to watch Giles leave her behind one final time, man who'd loved her first- loved her best, before Angel, before Spike, and loved her more than her own father ever could- who'd taken the least from her, and offered her the most. "I think I'd rather watch you have the accolades and celebrations." She whispered hoarsely, a single tear overflowing with painful suddenness. _

_ "Why- Buffy, what's-"_

_ "I want to see you have all the happy moments you could ever dream of. You already watched me have so many of mine." She smiled bravely, voice barely trembling._

_ "I've watched you have many terrible ones, too."_

_ "I know that. And now-" She gestured to Dawn, lost in Joey's arms, William and Spike, Xander, Willow, and Tanya, "it's all balanced out. It's time your scales balanced a little too."_

_ "My scales were always weighted favorably- because of you. When I first met you- I never imagined I'd even be your friend. Let alone someone who's like- well, I-" He stammered for a minute and kissed her forehead._

_ "You're my dad. I love my father, at least who he was, but- you get the dad award." She stuck an imaginary prize rosette to his shirt. "Any guy can be a father- but to be a dad you have to stick around. Be in the messy stuff."_

_ "Some fine messes we've made." He grinned, heart lodged firmly in his throat. She'd been with him the longest of any of them. It was because of her the others came into his life. So many lost, so many gone, but she remained, came back from death three times, and always decided to keep him in her life as it started over, no matter what he'd done, how undeserving he might've been, even if he'd failed to save her. _

_ "We clean 'em up together." Buffy's smile widened and a tiny laugh escaped. "This is one thing that's mess-free. I just wanted to tell you. Now. Tomorrow's about you and Vance, and you deserve that. You'll be so busy, though-"_

_ "I'll always have time for you, Buffy."_

_ "I know... but maybe not as much time as this. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am. To be in your life. See something good happen to you, for you. 'Cause I love you. Y'know?" She concluded with a broken half-smile, eyes sparkling. _

_ "Yes. I know." The song ended and they broke apart, only to come instantly back for one short hug. "Thank you, dear."_

_ "Buffy? I wanted to know if- Oh, Darling, you're all tearful!" Vance sashayed over with a motherly cluck and a hand ready to reach for her cheek._

_ "Happy tears." Buffy embraced her new "step-mother" figure. "I'm very, very happy for both of you. Now- go. This is a foxtrot, and for someone with Slayer speed and skill- I can't foxtrot to save my life. If we ever meet a foxtrotting demon- I'm screwed." _

_ "But-" Vance looked between the two of them. "Oh, dear. I interrupted a moment. I'm- I'll go, I'll be-"_

_ "Vance, stop!" Buffy grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, firmly ensconcing her with Giles. "You didn't interrupt anything. You added to it." She kissed them both on the cheek, and fled- with as much of a non-fleeing vibe as she could, into Spike's waiting arms._

* * *

><p><em> Willow bumped clumsily along in Giles arms, trying to watch Tanya and dance with him at the same time. "Ready for tomorrow?"<em>

_ "Indeed."_

_ "No cold tootsies?"_

_ "Positively burning." He smiled cheekily. "And you?"_

_ "Well, once Tanya stopped making the petals explode or multiply- I got over being nervous." She laughed. "That minister is totally not going to be prepared for some things he might see tomorrow." She gave him a stern look. "You must know a hundred shamans and priestesses and monks. Couldn't you have asked someone magic-y to do the ceremony?"_

_ "What, a magical C of E minister? Heavens, no. This isn't even a proper vicar, but at least Episcopalian's close to Anglican."_

_ "Jewish. Witch. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean." Willow confessed._

_ "We wanted it traditional. We were both raised in the Anglican faith- even though we know there are a lot of holes in it, magical elements not mentioned, but- well, it is the only wedding, and we've waited for so long. The simple ceremony, the traditional vows, the organ music, the strings and flute, the traditional hymns and order of service..." He smiled. It felt like home. Comfortable. Not unusual, although they were anything but ordinary. "Simple. Traditional." He repeated fondly. _

_ "Oh yes. Mega simple. With the witch, slayer, watcher bridesmaids, and the vampire, watcher, demon hunter groomsmen, and the vampire-champion-slayer- baby ring bearer, and the mini wicca flower girl? That's _real_ traditional."_

_ "Now, don't snark. What's gotten into you?"_

_ Willow leaned her head on Giles shoulder suddenly. "I was the smart one. You used to need me to research and do spells and talk big, old, dusty books stuff to. Then you got Vance."_

_ "You're not jealous, are you? I still need you for that. I need you, just need you. Full and I- well, it was no secret we had the most in common early on."_

_ "I'm not jealous! Are you kidding? I'm finally going to have parents again! Tanya can have a grandmother- a really young one, but who cares?" She beamed, but her lower lip wobbled. _

_ "Oh, Willow." He cocked his head. "Come now, that's not like you at all." He patted her back awkwardly._

_ "Crying? That's very like me."_

_ "No. Maybe the Willow I met in that library all those years ago, but not the Willow you are now." He corrected._

_ "I grew up. You're growing up, too. Only- you were always the grown up. It's weird- that we got married before you. I used to think that you must feel so left out. And I tried to fix it, remember?"_

_ "Dear Lord, don't remind me. Madge and I are _not_ suited." He laughed._

_ "I feel happy and kinda scared all at once. We're all growing up- but we haven't added a non-biologically created 'Scooby' in a long time." _Tara. Anya. Gone. But Vance'll be okay. She has to be okay... That kind of pain is too much to bear twice. He's the grown up, but even grown ups get hurt.

_ "I know." Giles' face grew grave. "I did warn her."_

_ "She's too in love to care." Willow beamed. "And so were we. All of us- not in love!" She blushed hastily. "But- we all loved each other, cared... we got through. And if things went wrong I could go to Buffy or Xander. And then-" she smiled. "we always,_ always_ went to you. You're the go to guy! You were always there, even if you couldn't fix it, you were there, and that made it better."_

_ "That won't change." He swore._

_ "But you deserve to have something new, something without us always tagging along. I mean- for a little bit." She said with evident self-denial._

_ "We'll have that. Two weeks in an undisclosed location." He grinned. "I believe it's called a honeymoon. Then- when I get back, I'll be the 'go to guy' again."_

_ "I'm sorry. I get all emotional lately. This being a mom and a wife thing. And now- like- a daughter again. I'm all- teary."_

_ "As long as they're not sad tears."_

_ "No way! So no way." She shook her head frantically. "I just wanted to make sure- that you'd still be around."_

_ "I promise. I will always be the 'go to guy', as you call it." _

_ "Thanks... for being there. Here. Still. And thanks for bringing Vance with you."_

_ "You know she loves you like a daughter."_

_ "I know." Willow looked at her own baby girl. "That's pretty powerful stuff. You'd do anything for your daughter."_

_ Giles had a dozen flashes of Willow at her darkest, at her brightest, her most innocent and scared, most powerful and courageous. He'd always run into the fray for her, he had for all of them. They'd all changed so much. But he'd do anything for them, back then, and even more so now, as they'd all changed together, depended on each other, and only each other, for so long. He looked at her with intense eyes."Yes. You would. Believe me, I know."_

* * *

><p><em> "I know. You've come to me to say some horribly moving farewell tonight, as everyone else has, the men last night, and the women again tonight. Goodbye to an old era, ding dong, the bachelor's dead." Giles was mildly tipsy from wine with dinner and champagne for dessert. <em>

_ Dawn stared down at him with a skeptical look on her face as he lounged back at the table in the near empty room, watching Joey and Vance take one last giggling turn around the floor. Everyone else had packed up, Robson off to his hotel, the Summers and Rosenberg-Harris families off to put their over-exhausted, still hyper children in bed. _

_ "Wow. Ego much?" She ruffled his hair._

_ "Leave off! Why aren't you home?"_

_ " 'Cause Joey and I came with you and Vance in the Jag. Are you smashed?"_

_ "I meant, you could've gotten a ride with the others. And I'm pleasantly oiled, that's all." He lurched up. "Did we dance?"_

_ "At my prom. So... yeah. Three years ago." _

_ "When did we get to be so close, you and I?" Giles mused._

_ "When we both started dating, Tweedy. At the same time, I mean."_

_ "Since when am I 'tweedy'?" He demanded._

_ "Don't wig on me. Vance is totally button down, too. Right until 'Vixen' comes out. She's perfect for you. And Ripper." Dawn took his offered hand and let herself be led to the floor._

_ "She_ is_ marvelous." He smiled dreamily. _

_ "I know. Why do you think we all want you to get married, huh?" She smiled up at his lovestruck face._

_ "Your Joey is quite marvelous himself." Giles shook himself out of his reverie. Tomorrow was the big day. Oh, Lord! After midnight! _Today_ was the big day._

_ Dawn blushed a little and tried to sound carefree. "Yeah, he's pretty great."_

_ "Was I this painfully obtuse when I was falling for Vance and refused to acknowledge it?" He hissed, laughingly._

_ Dawn stuck out her tongue and then conceded, "Maybe worse. You don't like to talk about emotions. Or you didn't. Now you're a big, British Care Bear. " _

_ "I'm nothing so nauseatingly, cavity-causing-ly sweet." He glowered. "But I have been talking to all of you more." A flicker of a frown crossed his face. "You know- I don't think I realized it until after I met her, that there was something missing, something Buffy, Willow, and Xander had. I didn't think it mattered, not greatly."_

_ "Then you meet them. The one who makes you realize you had a person-shaped hole in your heart." Dawn looked over Giles' shoulder at Joey. "_That's_ when we got closer, not when we started up with the dating. When we were the only two who weren't with someone." Her eyes slowly traveled back to her dance partner. "It's scary. Thinking all this time that you don't want it, or you don't need it, that no one's supposed to get close-"_

_ "And then they do, and you realize they were supposed to be there all along."_

_ Dawn bit her lip suddenly. Usually she was okay with the fact that everything before her "fourteenth year" had been an illusion, that she was just some great energy in the cosmos wrapped in a human shell until she really became human, had nothing left in her that was magic. Then sometimes, she got a sudden pang of doubt and pain._ I don't really belong here. This hole in my heart- Joey fills it up, but- but there was never supposed to be a heart for me in the first place.

_ "Oh, Dawn..." Giles smoothed her hair, shaking his head._

_ "No, listen. If I'm not even supposed to exist, if they just dropped me on this planet seven-ish years ago- then how can he ever love me? For real? Like I'm the one who belongs with him? Because I don't even- I don't even belong here. In this _world_."_

_ Giles had a million heated responses, about how obviously she was vital to all of them, how obviously she was loved and belonged with her family, belonged with everyone around her, including Joey. How Joey already had let it fly last night, hotly, in the heat of the moment, a passionate outburst, that he loved Dawn, he'd fight those who ever hurt her. He didn't say any of that._

_ "Buffy died. Spike is dead. Willow ripped the fabric of life and death and walked the line between humanity and monstrosity, gambling with her soul in the darkness._ None_ of us should be here, Dawn. Not as we are, not in the shape we're in. Yet- we all exist. Happy. Whole. In love. It's not _wrong_ that you exist, it's a_ miracle_ that you do. Otherwise-" he turned her abruptly from his arms and steered her toward Joey, "that young man might have always been alone. You were created into a human form for a noble purpose. I was trained as a Watcher for the same reason. Who's to say the ones who dance on the edges of reality- don't have a place in it?"_

_ "That's deep." Dawn replied after an intense moment, just staring at Joey, hearing his words in her ear. Dancing on the edge of reality- but having a place in it._

_ "I'm tired. I'm either very loquacious or very quiet when I'm tired." Giles took her shoulders, pulling her head near his for one final piece of advice to his youngest one. "You can look at all the pain and worry of the past and hold it tight, suffer for years..." He met Vance's eyes as the other couple finished their dance, delighting in her opal eyes and how they shimmered at him in the low light. "Or, you can look at what might be meant for the future, turn to that dark past- and tell it goodbye." He deftly switched partners with Joey as Vance steered him closer. _

_ "Goodnight, Dawn." Giles slid his arm languidly around Vance's waist, pulling her close._

_ "Goodbye." Dawn whispered softly, and nodded to the bridal pair. _

_ "Hello, Luv." Joey grinned gently down on her, leaning against her tiredly._

_ Dawn reached up and pulled his head closer, letting their lips brush. "Hello." She smiled back._

* * *

><p><strong>Say Hello<strong>

_ "We should say goodnight, get you to bed. Uh- to sleep." Joey watched Dawn move around his room, laying out his suit with a critical eye, rehanging it, fussing in general._

_ Dawn gave him a bemused look. "I understand. There-" she stopped compulsively straightening his pleats, "no more fussing until tomorrow. I mean- later today." She plopped on the bed next to him. "I just want everything to be so perfect for them, you know? I thought there'd be more tears, more freaking, last minute doubts driven by noble intentions..." She shrugged._

_ "I think they're too sure for that jus' now." He lazed back, looking at her, his Beautiful, his sunshine spot- burn you or warm you... still couldn't live without it. "Some things in life a bloke is just sure of." He watched in awe as she laid down beside him. It wasn't sexual, it was loving, close... just to sleep near one another. Two hearts together, bodies next, maybe. But not today. Not when they had a flock of people about and had just a few hours to kip before everything else demanded their attention. Not with her killer siblings just next door, either..._

_ "You sleepin' in here?" Joey asked hoarsely._

_ "I don't have to." Dawn didn't move, she hardly wanted to breathe. Joey was reading her right, she could tell. This was romantic, not sexual. It was loving. _Because I'm falling in love with him, yes I am.

_ "I'd like it." He never thought he'd see the day when he'd long to wake up beside a girl he hadn't "been to bed with" first. But he did. 'Cause it was his girl. He loved her. One day he'd tell her, and then he'd show her. Maybe. If she felt the same way. God, what wouldn't he give for some of her painful honesty now. _But this is a pretty good indication. She at least wants to spend the night in my arms. I think. Dammit._ "I'd like it. If you-"_

_ "There are some things in life you're just sure of." Dawn whispered and caressed his face, kissing him lightly, before snuggling down in someone's arms for the first time in her life. _This guy is one of those things.

* * *

><p><em> "You're sure you're fine sleeping here? The old stock about the bride and the groom on the day?" Giles hesitated before climbing into bed beside her.<em>

_ "I think it's in the dress. I'm not in the dress just now." She wriggled closer to him. "Although- I do think I'd better save myself for the honeymoon, Darling." She sighed regretfully. "I don't want Willow to have to use magic to remove the bags from under my eyes."_

_ "You're lovely. So bloody lovely." Giles replied with half-drunken grunt, a love-struck grin on his tired face. "Look lovely with bags an' all."_

_ "You'd better sleep, Lover, you're slipping into dockland." She teased._

_ " 'M not." He frowned and then kissed her soundly. "Tonight you'll be _Mrs._ Dr. Vance." He smoothed her dark hair from her unlined brow. "Less than a day. Never have to let you go again."_

_ "You haven't got cold feet?" Vance asked, knowing smile on her face as she reached up and stroked his graying hair. _

_ Giles smirked and nudged her bare feet with his own. She yelped and he giggled, a silly, boyish giggle that set her off as well. "Bit cold. But I want you to warm me up."_

_ They tussled for a moment, laughing until they were spooned comfortably together. "No." Giles whispered with sudden seriousness. "I tried very hard to deny myself this. It seemed very unlikely at my age, that the perfect one would come along."_

_ "Perfect for each other." Vance murmured. "Not perfect. But perfect for each other." She smothered a dainty yawn and burrowed in closer. _

_ "Exactly. It didn't seem likely, yet, here you are, here we are. I'm not in the least unsure. Except unsure of how something this good could happen to someone like me."_

_ "Hush." Vance shushed him. "You're the best man in the world."_

_ "For you."_

_ "I don't need anyone else." They shared a smile._

_ "Sweet dreams." Giles kissed her neck and closed his eyes wearily._

_ "Yes. And tomorrow night, they come true." She replied, and closed her eyes as well._

* * *

><p><em>It was a frosty night in late fall, but the people inside the cathedral on the river's edge felt warm inside and out. Candles lit each stone bracket by every stained glass window, and a wrought iron candelabra was fastened to the side of each pew, a blend of classical and gothic that rendered the atmosphere completely elegant in its understated beauty. White gardenias and deep pink, almost fuchsia, roses were bundled and draped on each pew along the center aisle. An enormous spray of white flowers of all sorts dominated the front of the church.<em>

_ And in this stately setting- about fifty of the most unusual people in the world sat and tried not to look out of place. _

_ The organist wondered why there were so many women in the church. There were hardly any men. All young, fairly athletic, somewhat hardened looking women, who looked as if wearing an evening gown was something they were terribly unfamiliar with._

_ Those were the slayers._

_ The violinist wondered why there were so many women huddling together in the pews, whispering, in so many languages, conversations with cadences almost like chanting._

_ Those were the coven members, witches, magic users, offerings blessings and invoking protections on all involved in the ceremony, all in the congregation, and all the posts left unguarded._

_ The flautist wondered why the scattering of men throughout the congregation, for the most part, all looked as if they expected a fight any moment. Constantly turning their heads, checking the exits, reaching into sleeves, coats, or down around their shins as if they expected to need some kind of weapon at a second's notice. _

_ Those were the Watchers and Demon Hunters._

_ The Reverend Neal wondered why the pale blonde groomsman kept yelping whenever he got too near the frescoed walls in the vestry where the groom and attendants sat. But then he had no time to wonder anymore. The ceremony was about to begin. The chapel clock tolled six deep tones, and the prelude music used for seating the guests ended with a final rolled chord. _

_ "I'll go out, the music will begin, and you will follow." Neal nodded kindly, and shut the door behind him._

_ In a few moments, rousing Baroque music rang through the small cathedral. "Waterfall music! That's us." Xander adjusted his gray suit one final time._

_ "Handel's Water Music." Giles corrected automatically, removing his glasses and straightening his tie. "Alright. Go, Rob." _

_ "Ours not to reason why." Robson joked with a wink and slid past the other three._

_ "Is this effin' thing on right?" Spike cursed his lack of reflection and the gray suit that made him look like a corpse- in his opinion._

_ "You ask that_ now_?" Xander rolled his eyes. "Go, Graveyard Boy."_

_ Spike stalked past, shying away from the vast paintings of Christ's Stations of the Cross that adorned the walls. He gave Giles a fleeting smile and disappeared out the door._

_ "You okay?" Xander hissed, hand on the door._

_ "I, my friend, am ecstatic." Giles smiled faintly, the happiness of a lifetime concealed under a face he presented to the world on formal occasions- after all, the representatives of the world, literally from six of the seven continents, were outside in those pews. It would crack, as soon as he saw Vance. "Now. March. And for God's sake, if I do something stupid, like trip, or faint- you'll just-"_

_ "I'll scream and fall on my ass, okay? No one will even look at you, not after me."_

_ "Bless you, Son." Giles muttered fervently._

_ "What are sons for?" Xander whispered, and took his place, watching Giles soon take his short, stately walk to front and center._

* * *

><p><em> In the back of the church, the bridal attendants centered themselves before the door. "We should have had an usher." Buffy suddenly hissed. "The door? Who's going to hold it open?"<em>

_ "Simple." Willow flicked her wrist, and the heavily carved double doors majestically opened. _

_ "Simple." Tanya echoed, beamed and flicked her wrist, and the doors jerked loudly, as if they were about to come off. Willow's frantic murmur made the doors still, and the cluster of women in the back of the church boggled. _

_ "Again!" William giggled._

_ "No! Not again, not again!" Buffy put a hand to her perfectly coiffed up do, and winced. _

_ "Ladies. That's your cue." Joey whispered as the music shifted, and the softer strains of a moderate Bach prelude began. _

_ "Buffy. Thank you." Vance kissed her cheek. _

_ "Thank_ you_." Buffy whispered significantly, and turned, starting her slow, graceful walk, and trying not to look nervous. She focused her eyes on Spike's, hearing him in her mind._

_ 'You are gorgeous, Luv. All pink and pretty. And strapless. You know your bite's showin' for all the world to see?'_

_ 'I know.' Buffy rolled her head slowly side to side, smoothly, as if taking in each member of the congregation. A feline smile sprang to the surface._

_ Xander heard Spike's low, almost inaudible chuckle. "Stop it. I know what you're doing, and you'd better stop it, right now." He warned through his fixed smile. _

_ "Sure about that? What do you think about Red's dress?"_

_ Xander eyed Willow. She never did strapless. She was modest, always in layers- except in front of him. The sight of milk white shoulders and a heaving, soft bosom, flushing with nerves... and her eyes were all wide, with that doe -eyed panic that made him want to kiss her senseless and laugh with her as his best, oldest friend, all at the same time. He beamed at her, and watched her slowly ease into a smile as well, nerves fleeing. _

_ "This is the best bit." Spike whispered to Xander, who nodded. _

_ "I don't know- watching your vampire baby walk my baby girl up the aisle of a church isn't something I ever want to see again."_

_ "Never happen. Now shut up and watch them." _

_ "Angelic." Giles managed to speak around his thundering heart._

_ "That's 'cause he's Buffy's." Xander teased. _

_ "That's 'cause they're beautiful." Spike countered, and fell silent. _

_ Vance watched them from the shadow of the door, leaning on Joey's arm, and peering around Dawn. Tanya and William walked in tandem, Tanya flinging petals happily, walked unsteadily. William walked with strong sure strides, his unnatural heritage giving him unusual abilities for someone so young. _

_ "Slowly... slowly." Buffy was muttering, watching her son._

_ "Don't fall, don't fall." Willow gasped, watching Tanya's coordination fail with the effort of walking, staying near William, and throwing petals. _

_ "Easy, son." Spike mouthed._

_ "Steady, Sweetie." Xander put a hand halfway to his mouth, watching his daughter stumble_

_ William caught her chubby hand in his. "Gran'pa!" He tugged her almost off her feet and headed towards his family as the church laughed softly. Willow darted a glance at the minister and at the children and closed her eyes. The pair slowed, steadied and reached the center undisturbed. _

_ "Will?" Buffy mouthed._

_ "Me." She gasped softly, in relief._

_ "Good save, Babe," Xander hissed._

_ "Shh!" Giles warned. "Almost here."_

* * *

><p><em> Dawn squeezed Vance's hand and pecked Joey's cheek, before heading off, her tight, crimson pink dress showing off a back and neckline Joey hadn't known existed. <em>

_ "Your eyes'll fall out and roll on the carpet." Vance teased him as he stared after her._

_ "How can you joke at a time like this?" Joey chided. "You're about to be married, Vee. Serious up."_

_ "I'm very serious. Very happy. How could I not be? The two greatest men alive, in my life, are with me. I'm going to be a wife. A mother. A grandmother. I'm going to help people." She jerked her head suddenly to him, looking up, wide eyes silver with unshed tears. "I'm going to miss you like mad."_

_ "I know. Likewise." Joey leaned down and almost brushing a kiss on her cheek, hovering above it, afraid to smudge. "Think he'd mind if I kiss the bride?"_

_ "Not at all." She pulled him close for a second, and leaned their cheeks together. "Couldn't do without it."_

_ Joey pulled back and smiled. "I've been tryin' to get you to date for a bloody long time, Vee, You had to pick someone on the other side of the ocean?"_

_ "Look who's talking." She teased. "You've been waiting, he's been waiting, I've been waiting. Let's do this."_

* * *

><p><em> "This is it." Giles whispered in a tight hiss as the music changed once more and the strains of the bridal march swelled. There was a thunder of feet and shuffling as everyone stood and turned to face the center aisle, every head craning. <em>

_ And there she was. Sophisticated, elegant, smiling, shimmering. Hair pulled back in a mass of dark brown waves that were almost black in the candlelight, eyes locked on his, and mouth fixed in a peaceful smile. _

_ His shoulders relaxed under her gaze. _

_ "If I can speak for all of us- holy hot doctor, I need a nurse!" Xander gaped._

_ Buffy had been right. If Giles had been speaking, he would have stammered, if he'd had glasses, they'd have been polished to the point of cracking. The dress trailed in the back and was bunched in tiers in the front, making a modest split to her knees, giving him a glimpse of long, curvy calves ending in white satin heels, a creation of silver accents and white straps. And the rest of the dress- if a dress could be refined and erotic at once, it was. Cut and gathered to show a suitable amount of bust, tight at the waist and gliding over the hips. _Every fantasy I've ever had, in white satin. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I have to breathe- she's here.

_ The music stilled, the congregation sat,_

_ "Who presents this woman to be joined to this man in holy matrimony?"_

_ "I, on behalf of all those love her, present this woman." Joey passed her hand to Giles, more slowly than the night before, more gravely. Giles took the hand and clasped it tightly, then shook Joey's quickly. With a briefly bowed head, the younger man backed away and took his seat in the first pew._

_ Giles listened to the opening prayer with his head down and his eyes wide open. I_ don't have to close my eyes. Everything I'm thankful for is right in front of me. He looked across at the family around him, and the woman about to join it._ His gaze welded to Vance, flushing and glowing and gorgeous. For him. He twined her hands more firmly with his own. _

_ Vance sang the hymns, listened to the order of service, and stared. Almost unblinking, eyes riveted to Giles' , also unblinking. Calm and happy. Tom would be happy, too. And his Jenny. They'd been holding the hurt for so long. They'd finally said goodbye, earlier this year. And now... time to welcome something better, something that was warm, far from safe, but secure. Unbreakable. As soon as they said the vows, the world would know it._

_ The Reverend Neal thought he'd seldom seen such an awestruck assemblage, as if they were watching some celebrity ceremony or a royal wedding. In a way, he was right. Giles was no king, but he'd become a legend, a hero, a leader. Patriarch to this secret society hidden in plain sight. _

_ With a flourish, the pastor called for the rings, and William thrust the pillow at Xander, who helped pass the rings along. Dawn took Vance's bouquet, and the bridal couple faced each other. _

_ Giles was grateful they hadn't written anything original, simply opted to repeat the standard vows. He was having a hard enough time doing that. It was difficult to look at her, not burst into some hysterically happy, oddly-relieved, giddy laughter, or choke on the wad of emotion in his throat. He'd never imagined himself as the heart on his sleeve type- too easily bruised by all that saw it. But for her, and for the little group surrounding them, he let it show. Not much, just enough. _

_ That's why he's perfect for me, thought Vance, keeping her face composed though her eyes were shining more and more as tears threatened to overflow but didn't. _We both will keep our composure. But we see clearly what's underneath.

_ "Repeat after me." Neal began, and they did, a triad of soft, sure voices._

_ "To have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."_

_ "Till death do us part." Giles took the words as a blood oath._

_ "Till death do us part." Vance was equally grave. _

_ "Take the ring, and repeat after me." Neal hadn't often gotten to use these old, Anglican words, and he relished it. He'd seen many odd things in this little town, but this lovely British couple and their unusual wedding had to be one of the nicer ones. _

_ "With my body I honor you,_

_ all that I am I give to you,_

_ and all that I have I share with you,_

_ within the love of God,_

_ Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."_

_ Giles leaned forward with the ring, sliding it on gently. All that he was, she wanted, accepted. Dark pasts and cloudy futures, dangers and dullnesses. _

_ Vance put the much thicker band on his ring finger. Everything she'd kept locked up from everyone, pushing anyone away who got too close- she'd shared with him. _

_ "I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_ The congregation erupted, the organ struck up Mendelssohn, and flower petals burst over the bridal couple in a sudden spray. _

_ Xander and Willow exchanged a glance. "Not me." Willow mouthed._

_ "More! More!" William was clapping and laughing, and Tanya was clapping and looking in awe at the ceiling._

_ "Sweetie, no!" Xander hissed nervously, scooping her up. _

_ "Happy." Tanya looked at the shower of petals still floating down around the kissing newlyweds. "Happy?" She suddenly looked sad, lower lip starting to wobble and big green eyes boring into him._

_ "Oh..." Xander looked around. Everyone non-magical would probably think it was some kind of special effect arranged beforehand, not some magical feat. "Yes. Yes, Baby. Very, very happy."_

_ "Very happy." Tanya echoed and the rafters seemed to snow as the couples processed out. First the bride and groom, then the flower girl and ring bearer, herded by their parents who'd paired off according to partner, not order of placement in the bridal party. _

_ "Tanya's awesome. It's beautiful." Dawn laughed up at the ceiling, catching white and pink petals in her open hands. _

_ "It certainly is." Joey slid on the other side of her, taking the arm that Robson left free. He hadn't even glanced at the ceiling after the initial flurry of petals. He only had eyes for one woman. It seemed to be a contagious state of affairs. Giles and Vance were shaking hands and warmly smiling at all who greeted them in the receiving line at the back of the church, but they couldn't let their eyes wander for long, hazel eyes and gray always returning to one another._

* * *

><p><em> "We did it!" Vance found herself swooped up in an airborne hug, all reserve temporarily gone as they snatched a moment alone together in the cloak room of the posh banquet hall they'd hired for the night. <em>

_ "We did!" He kissed her and spun her in a swirl. "That dress- Good Lord..." His kiss hardened- along with other parts of him, and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling her warmth and the faint perfume of her shampoo. _

_ "You should see what's under it." Vance giggled. _

_ "In a very few hours, I'll be glad to." He smirked seductively. "But right now- there's a crowd of hungry, celebrating people who want to get sloshed and dance until sunrise."_

_ "Which is very inconvenient, as we told the driver we'd like to leave at 1:00." Vance sighed and smiled contentedly. "I never thought I'd have a second chance for a wedding, let alone a wedding night."_

_ "I know, Darling." Giles lost his lecherous mood for the moment and rubbed her back, still holding her close. "I'm looking forward to it. Not just this night. Forever. Till death do us part is such an- an ambiguous phrase." Giles whispered in her ear. "I plan to walk in heaven beside you, my Angel."_

_ Vance swallowed hard. Until death did they part meant they were free to take a second chance, for they'd been parted from lovers already. "Giles-"_

_ "I know. I don't think for one moment that they'd begrudge us this life, though. Or the next." He looked at her seriously. "That's what love is."_

_ "And this is that true love." She echoed words they'd spoken months ago, as they found about the hard parts of each other's pasts. _

_ "Come with me. I'm going to dance with my beautiful wife. My true love."_

* * *

><p><em>The floor emptied, and the lights dimmed. The band began to play, the vocalist began to sing and sway, and two figureheads became two real people, people in love.<em>

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we see

No I won't be afraid

No I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

_ Buffy leaned against her husband with an adoring gaze. "This song is so perfect for them. And us."_

_ "No one could be afraid with you around, Kitten." Spike purred into her neck._

_ "Giles is never afraid."_

_ "Not true. But it will be now. There's somethin' permanently comforting about having the one person you love always by your side, in your heart."_

And darling, darling stand by me

Oh, now, now, stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me

_ Vance laid her head on Giles' shoulder. "I love this song."_

_ "So appropriate." He murmured. "You will always stand by me." It wasn't a question any longer._

_ "I will." It was undeniable._

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall

And the mountain should crumble to the sea

I won't cry, I won't cry

No I won't shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

_ Buffy's eyes welled up, Xander's eye overflowed, and Giles found himself suddenly moist under his lids as well. Dawn held Joey's hand with a new sense of knowledge. For people who'd literally watched the sky tumble and dimensions rip apart, hellmouths split open and worlds begin to crack and be swallowed whole... those weren't just grandiose words. Those were realities. And what made you brave enough to continue? Adrenaline and survival instinct weren't had to have someone to fight for, not to give up for. A brother, a sister, a best friend, a child, a lover. As long as they stood by you._

_ "Baby." Buffy wrapped herself in Spike's arms._

_ "Wills." Xander nuzzled into his wife's neck._

_ "I'm not the sort to run." Joey told Dawn as he squeezed her hand in return._

_ Giles and Vance said nothing, just held on a little tighter._

And darling, darling stand by me

Oh, stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me

Oh, now, now, stand by me

Oh, stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

_ "Life has been easier with you in it." Giles murmured. "But it won't always be that way. Trouble abounds."_

_ "I know that." Vance stroked his hair, lips pressed to his ear. "Why do you think I need to be with you so much? To help you face what comes."_

_ "You are an extraordinary woman." Giles whispered as the song began to taper off._

_ "Thank you. Quite a compliment coming from you." She sighed once more, onto his gray clad chest. "I love you."_

_ "And I you. Now I'm yours. You're mine." Again, not a question. A vowed restatement._

Darling, darling stand by me

Stand by me

Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

_ "It was worth the wait." Vance whispered. _

_ "It was." He agreed._

* * *

><p><em>"Good job, Rupert." A dark haired figure smiled down on the dancing bride and groom.<em>

_ "Excuse me? Mind if I pull up a piece-a cloud?"_

_ Jenny looked up and saw a lanky blonde twenty something year old, clad in motorcycle leathers and a blue and white FAC shirt standing beside her. "Sure. Free celestial dimension._

_ "True enough. Peter! Come!" A gamboling half-grown pup sprang up beside him. "Look, boy. Look who it is." The man pointed down to the candle lit dance floor._

_ "You must be hers." Jenny smiled and reached out a hand and stroked the dog._

_ "Reckon you were his." He reached over top of the dog and stuck out his hand. "Tom."_

_ "Jenny." She shook it. "So- Vance was your-"_

_ "Girlfriend, soon to be wife. And you must have been Giles' girl."_

_ "For a little while. But it was long enough." Jenny sighed contentedly. "Have you been watching this develop?" _

_ "I always watched her. He's a good man." He paid her a compliment as well as stated his opinion._

_ "She's perfect for him."_

_ "Funny, yeah? She's perfect for who he is now, and he's perfect for what she became without me about. But perfection, that's them."_

_ "Nice to see. He's struggled for so long."_

_ "So has she. 'Bout time she let herself be happy again. All I bloody wished for." Tom shook his head with a mock scolding note in his voice. From over his shoulder a little ball of light beamed and flickered a few times. "That's right, little mate, all in due season, as ever."_

_ "You've got an angel? You hardly ever see them with us." Jenny's eyes lit up._

_ "I know, but this one visits. I'm his dad." Tom put his hand into the little ball of light and glowed for a moment. "He's just a bitty one. Looks after his mum an' visits me."_

_ "Oh." Jenny didn't express her condolences for the child that had been lost. In Heaven, there are no regrets, because you can see where everything is leading, and you know what had to happen and why. It gives one peace. "That's nice." She held out her hand and the ball flickered over her and away._

_ "Oh, he likes you." Tom grinned. "Funny I never saw you before. Watchin' over the same pair like we have been._

_ "It's a big place, plenty of spots to watch from." Jenny smiled her naturally sensuous, Mona Lisa smile. In Heaven, she wore the long flowing dress she'd worn when home with her people, the Romany. Her face was youthful, her eyes didn't flicker, they gleamed, her form frozen in its early twenties, hair to her shoulders and held back in clips. Her happiest time, before she'd met Giles, before she'd fallen in love with him, all the while keeping a secret from him. But she had none of that heartache now, only joy in watching someone she'd loved finally be happy, finally not be alone. "They look overjoyed." She said softly._

_ "Don't they though?" Tom sighed and stroked Peter's head. "Well. That's one looked 'll be alright now. Best to have someone with you."_

_ "Yes, that's the best." Jenny pushed herself up. "I'll peek in on them later. They deserve privacy tonight."_

_ "True enough." Tom stood as well. "So. Where're we goin'?"_

_ Jenny paused, taken aback. "I have about forty two generations of Calderash women up here who want to hang out."_

_ "That sounds excitin'. If you're you. I was gonna go mess out with a few of my mates and pop in to see my grand da'." Tom offered her his arm. "Fancy a drink someplace first?"_

_ "Well... there is this place I found. The waterfall tastes like whatever you crave."_

_ "Oh, I love that! The one I usually stop at has Guinness on tap."_

_ "I'm a Yuengling person myself." Jenny slipped her arm through his. _

_ "American crap."_

_ "Watch it!" Jenny glared._

_ "You're a sparky one, aren't you?" Tom laughed._

_ "Maybe."_

_ "Must be. Must be somethin' special to keep one man's heart bound up for so long."_

_ "Giles is just sweet like that. He sees things- that other people don't see." She said modestly, and rubbed the spot in her chest where her heart used to beat._

_ "I'd like to take a look myself." Tom remarked softly. _

_ Jenny smiled and blushed. "Everything happens for a reason."_

_ "People get brought together for all sorts of reasons." Tom added. "The living and the dead."_

_ "I just met you." Jenny reminded him playfully. "We're not being 'brought together'. Necessarily."_

_ "Not strictly, no. But I'd like to get to know the girl who inspired such loyalty."_

_ "Well... it'd be nice to know the man who could only be followed by someone as wonderful as Rupert."_

_ "My point exactly. Let's go get to know each other, yeah? " Tom smiled more widely. "After all, this is Heaven. The place of happy endings." _

_ Jenny considered his words. "And happy beginnings."_

_ "An' like my Vance said- it's worth the wait."_

_ "She's smart. Tell me about her?"_

_ "You'll tell me about him?" Tom offered her his elbow._

_ "Of course." Jenny took it._

_ The two radiant forms, locked in the image of their happiest moments, walked forward arm in arm, followed by a tumbling pup and a fluttering ball of glowing light._

* * *

><p><em> "Got a light?" <em>

_ Giles stepped outside for a breath of fresh air only to find Spike leaning in the shadows of the hall's terrace. "You still need your nightly fix?" Giles had no lighter, but Spike didn't seem to mind. _

_ "I don't have my cigs, anyway." Spike sighed and shrugged. "Always in my coat pocket so in this thing they're-" He was patting his pockets and he froze, hand over the breast. "I put somethin' else in for you." He carelessly pulled out a square envelope._

_ "Oh... Spike. Odd as this is- I'm touched."_

_ "Well, open it before you say that." Spike joked._

_ Giles deftly opened the flap and shook out a glossy photo. He and Vance cradling an infant William between them. A newborn William. "Well, this is lovely. The first photo of the two of us?"_

_ "Prolly. But that isn't why I'm givin' it to you. The day I took it, I told Buffy that I would give it to you two -on your weddin' day." He let the phrase hang there, the silence that followed as eloquent as any words._

_ Giles gaped and gawked for a split second before coughing. "A bit presumptuous."_

_ "I prefer 'perceptive'." Spike smiled smugly. "You owe my son a lot. Brought you two together. Just thought I'd rub it in a bit." _

_ Giles grinned and chuckled. Spike hardly had to blackmail him to make him spoil his only grandson with love and attention. And he'd already realized how amazingly intricate the web was that brought him and Vance together. "Thank you. For saving this."_

_ "Welcome." Spike exhaled a stolen breath of frosty night air. "You throw a wild party, Rupes. Good music. You had me worried with all that classical stuff at the wedding." Spike looked inside the French windows to where he could see Buffy dancing with Wesley and Fred dancing with Robson as the band blared out "Back in Black"._

_ "A wedding ceremony is serious. The reception is less so." Giles explained carelessly, tucking the photo carefully in his own breast pocket._

_ "You'd better go back in there, do your dancin' before you leave."_

_ "It's not that late."_

_ "It's midnight." Spike pointed out._

_ "Good Lord!" Giles hurried back inside. "Where's my wife?" He demanded with a loud, shouting laugh. Joey released the bride at once and seized on Dawn instead. "Can we have a slower number please?" Giles called to the band, yelling to make himself heard. _

_ The tempo changed dramatically. The morse serious couples stayed on the floor, the others, the fast dancers, left to find the bar or the desserts once more._

* * *

><p><em> "They're windin' down." Joey murmured into the shining curtain of Dawn's hair. "They'll be off soon. An' I'm off tomorrow afternoon. Today. I guess."<em>

_ Dawn held him tighter with sudden ferocity. "I know." She didn't want to think of him leaving. So she didn't, not for this one more happy moment. She thought of him here, now. Warm and solid, larger than her... making her feel safe, in a way that had nothing to do with danger and everything about being loved and held. She didn't fully understand it, but she knew what it was._

_ "This is nice." Dawn sighed into his chest._

_ "I like bein' so close to you. Miss you so much when we're apart. Never thought I'd- well, never thought I'd feel like that." Joey rested his chin on top of her head. _

_ "Like it hurts to miss someone, but you're happy all the time 'cause you know they - they're somewhere close inside, caring about you?" Dawn tried to explain, still speaking against his shoulder._

_ "More than carin' , Beautiful." Joey whispered._

_ "What are you saying?" Dawn's head jerked up._

_ They'd been dancing over by the doors leading to the terrace, and now they swayed slowly out of them, leaving the crowded room for the privacy of the stone flagged exterior. _

_ Joey whispered in her ear, arms still around her, still swaying with the music, "I'm saying that I'm in love with you, Dawn Summers."_

_ Dawn gasped inside, but no sound came from her mouth. _Never thought it would happen, that I'd get it, that I'd feel this way, have what Buffy and Willow have. I made myself wait for the right one, I made sure I was in love before I even started to think I might be. Hesitate and hesitate, worried that it all goes wrong and suddenly you're hurt all over again. Or you lose what you have with your family, how they respect you and see you as a person, not a thing, not a kid.

_ Dawn had been so careful not to let herself get involved with random guys, to keep it all light and fun. Unless it was the "long haul guy", she couldn't love and couldn't get close. Now, all the sudden, even though it had been months of slowly seeing things, she had a blinding flash. She felt like she could really say it, and mean it._

_ "I'm in love with you, too."_

_ That had been the longest second of his life, the time between his declaration and hers. He let out air he hadn't realized he'd sucked in, and shakily kissed her, slowly. Nothing too much, they were in a wedding reception after all. _

_ "Thank God." He smiled at her._

_ She shakily smiled back. So much she wanted to be sure of, wanted to be sure of as in hearing it said, not just knowing. Because if you wanted something bad enough, you might delude yourself. And she didn't want to do that._

_ "Why do you look worried, Beautiful?" Joey cupped her cheek as he saw her expression._

_ "Are you a long haul guy?" She blurted._

_ "A what?" Joey double-checked his hearing._

_ " I- I love you. But I can't. I shouldn't- if you won't be around."_

_ Joey paused. That sounded like something long term. Wasn't that supposed to make him scarper? Most blokes his age would. Especially with someone who he'd barely spent any face-to-face time with. _

So why aren't I scared? Isn't there supposed to be a little commitment fear runnin' through my brain?_ If this had happened a few years ago, if a girl he'd only seen a handful of times had asked if he was sticking around long term- he'd have run. He'd have been half a dozen male stereotypes that he now passionately disliked. Now he wanted to stay right there- where she was. _

_ Joey heard himself saying, "Listen to me, Dawn. I don't know what to say to that, exactly. Except- I'm not goin' anywhere. Don't worry. I don't know what a 'long haul guy' is in your strange little mind-", Dawn kicked at him playfully and grinned slightly, "but I won't let you down, an' I won't leave. Well- I'll get on a plane, an' this sounds so bloody prissy- but I'll get on a plane, but my heart stays with you, alright?" He finished in a rush. _My heart stays with you? It was true. It jus' sounded so... chick-flick-ish.

_ Dawn smiled at his self-deprecating grimace. "Alright. And just so you know- that's not prissy- maybe corny- but only if you don't mean it. And I know you mean it." She cleared her throat. "My- uh- my heart goes with you, too."_

_ There was another bout of kissing and caressing, gestures so much more eloquent than words sometimes._

_ Joey could feel so much of her, so much better than he had before. That tight little number, and cleavage pushed up and out, the line of her back just driving him mad. _

_ Dawn felt her thudding in time with an artery down lower. He was so with her, around her. His broad chest, his strong arms, wide hands... all of him made her feel secure, wanted, but not in a "let me take care of you way", more in an "I love you way." Heavenly._

_ Joey had to say something, had to distract himself before he propositioned her. Now might be the time, but it wasn't the place. "Hey, Beautiful?" He pulled back. "D'you think your heart would ever like to come visit mine in Manchester?"_

_ "I- wait- you moved already?" Dawn hissed, furtively looking around._

_ "After New Year. My lease is up at the end of December. I-" He cleared his throat and shrugged, "I got a place picked out. Near the hospital. Start in January."_

_ "I knew you were moving. I just didn't know when, how soon after she left." She smiled encouragingly. "You should spend some more time with your family."_

Before I move somewhere else. Maybe where you are, maybe stateside.._. "Yeah. Mum'll be thrilled to bits. Not that I'm movin' home, mind you." He clarified hastily. "So- your heart? Mine? Reconvening in Manchester? I mean, the flat I'm lookin' at, it's tiny, only one room. But I could sleep on the couch. Or we could put you up someplace, plenty of hotels in round our way." He offered. _I'm in love. I'm not an animal. Even if I'd like to bite down on that soft little- now stop that! You wouldn't want to be rushed and neither does she. When she wants to be with me, it'll be 'cause she wanted to be, not 'cause she felt like she had too, or I pushed her to it. An' when a girl like this wants to make love with you...you'll be the luckiest bloke in creation. Even luckier than you already are. If that's possible. She _loves_ me...

_ Dawn's stomach went all fluttery. Stay with him. In his apartment, flat- whatever. That's big. That's grown up. _I'm a grown up now, aren't I? We all are. No one wants to grow up, then be all alone._"Yeah. I'd love to."_

_ Joey's smile dazzled her. "Maybe when those two get back from honeymoon. An' after I'm moved in."_

_ "Perfect." Dawn grinned. "I can't wait to come visit."_

_ "Can't wait for it m'self. Gonna need all the cheerin' up I can get." He let out a lengthy sigh. "I'm gonna be so miserable without Vee around."_

_ "I know. I feel so bad for you. I'd die if Giles moved away." She huddled suddenly closer, arms going around her own waist, sick feeling inside. He had moved away. Twice . After Buffy died, and after she came back. The _second_ time around. She'd thought he'd leave again, but he hadn't. He'd stopped being a father figure and become a father. Her own father- well, he was a false memory. Giles was real. And he was staying, bringing someone wonderful to stay as well. "I can't imagine life without him around anymore." _Anymore than I could think of life without you.

_ "So you owe me one. 'Cause you took my Vance, an' I let you keep 'em both." He said cheekily._

_ " Okay, okay, I owe you one. Whaddya want?" She held up her hands in mock surrender._

_ "Tell me somethin' to make me happy again, Sweetheart." He rested his hands on either of her slender hips, looking into her eyes, as they started to sway again, able to hear the music wafting from inside._

_ Dawn shook her head. "You're something else. I love you, Joey Brooke."_

_ "You're a miracle worker." Joey chuckled and lost his pained expression. "By the way, that's mutual, Luv."_

_ "Well, duh. I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't." She poked his flat stomach and stuck out her tongue._

_ "Ow! No bruisin' the goods!" Joey laughed and backed up a bit, clutching his chest as if badly injured. "Kiss it, make it better?"_

_ Dawn happily complied, and stopped herself before she could get too lost in the action. Giles was leaving soon, and he wouldn't be home for a few weeks. She had to make sure she was able to give him a decent, not completely weak-kneed, drooly, starry-eyed goodbye. "We have to go back in. They'll be leaving soon." She reluctantly stopped kissing him, nibbling his lower lip lingeringly as they pulled apart. She'd never thought she'd crave the taste of someone, but she did now. Craved his touch, his kiss- maybe more- no, definitely more._

_ Joey nodded, slightly out of breath. He stole one more kiss. "Finish it later?"_

_ "So very yes!" She cried enthusiastically. "So... c'mon." She tugged his arm._

_ "Gotta wait a minute!" Joey resisted. "I can't go in now. I bet I look even happier than the groom, an' that just won't do."_

_ "No one could look happier than either of them." Dawn peeped in the window. Giles and Vance were dancing in the center of the dimly lit floor, surrounded by many, but looking like they were the only ones in the room. In the whole world._

* * *

><p><em> Giles spun his bride lazily around the floor once more, before the clock struck one, and choruses of well wishes rang out. Bubbles were blown and one more champagne toast was offered before they walked through a crowd of clapping, shouting, hugging people.<em>

_ With final hugs and kisses, they were safely locked in the limo, alone at last, as husband and wife._

_ "It's been a long time coming, hasn't it, my darling?" Giles kissed her newly adorned hand._

_ Vance looked at him and smiled into bright hazel eyes that shone with pure, contented joy. She repeated words she'd said quite often recently, but had never meant more. "It was worth the wait." _


	21. Chapter 21

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Author's Note: Smut. So much smut. _

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, and DLillith21 _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXI

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of _Behind the Scenes_)

_ "You're sure you'll be alright?" Spike's fingers tightened on the wheel, white knuckles turning pale blue from tension._

_ "Spike, seriously, I'll be fine." Dawn's own fingers were tightening on her purse strap. "Giles will be over there on Monday, and then I'll be with him in Devon for the rest of the week. I think I can survive three days unchaperoned. I'm twenty one, and I can do some pretty nice defensive spells, and my crossbow is pre-loaded."_

_ Spike nodded, then shook his head. "Yeah, Bit, God help the mugger or vamp that gets near you. I'm worried about what's his face."_

_ "Joey! His name is Joey, as in Joey, who everyone likes and trusts." Dawn hit the word trust with hammer blow emphasis._

_ "He loves you." Spike murmured._

_ "I know that. I love him, too." Dawn looked into her lap, envisioning herds of rampant butterflies swarming inside her. _

_ "So-" Spike cleared his throat, paused, cleared it again, and then coughed miserably. "So- the two of you- stayin' in his flat?"_

_ "He'll be on the couch." Dawn smacked his arm. _Maybe.

_ "Niblet." One word and it was lecture length. It contained traces of "don't lie to me, you can tell me anything, I'm your brother and best mate, are you sure, are you stupid, do you think _I'm_ stupid?" and a few other things as well._

_ "Damn. You're good. William won't stand a chance. You've got crazy parenting skills, Spike." Dawn rested her head wearily against the seat. _

_ "Look, I know you're a big girl. An'... Buffy or Willow prolly gave you some advice a long time ago. Right?"_

_ Dawn shook her head. "Mom did. Only- no." Her smile twisted sadly. "It was when I was eleven. I wasn't even really here at that point. But it's okay." She said hastily. "I remember the fictional conversation. Besides- college, internet, living with the three most sexually active couples in the world- I know stuff." She paled and gave him a panicked look. "Oh my God- we were talking about sex advice right? Not, like, I don't know, how to make sure you're a good house guest stuff?"_

_ Spike laughed weakly. "Sex stuff. Yeah." Dawn put her head back on the seat again with a relieved, blushing sigh. "I just thought I oughta check. In case."_

_ Dawn took his hand briefly. "Spike, if you weren't technically dead, I think you might be about to give yourself a stroke. We don't have to talk about this."_

_ Ten different emotional flares went off in Spike's mind. Since Dawn was with him- they all poured out. "See, you're my Little Bit, an' I know you're a grown girl, powerful an' adult, an' all. So I have a hard time thinkin' about you doin' things with guys, since I love you an' I wanna keep you safe. On the other hand- you're Dawn Summers. You're a tough girl, a true survivor an' no bloke stands a chance in hell, unless you want him to have that chance."_

_ "Spike- slow down." Dawn urged._

_ "No, no, this is good, Luv, gotta get it all out, been on my mind." Spike waved her to silence. "You're also my best mate, an' we've been a little preoccupied, an' I know you don't wanna tell me the juicy bits about you an' the boy, an' frankly, I haven't wanted to hear 'em. But I will always be the one you can talk to. 'Bout anything. Even the stuff that makes me break out in the collywobbles."_

_ "I meant you have to slow down because we're entering the airport ramps and it's twenty five zone." She grinned. Spike slammed on the brakes and they exchanged a look. "Thanks though. For the other stuff."_

_ "Can I do my brotherly speech, please, an' get it outta the way?" Spike looked agonized._

_ "Maybe I can save you some time. Buffy already gave me one, Xander and Willow gave me one. Does it go like this? 'Are you sure you're ready? Don't let him pressure you. Use protection. Be safe. Call us, any time of the day or night and we'll come to the rescue if you need rescuing.' Did I miss anything?" _

_ "No. That was good." Spike nodded. "Want me to do the best pal speech now?"_

_ "Claire and Jenna already did that, but it was way lame. Go for it." Dawn leaned affectionately against him._

_ "Alright. If you an' Joey wanna do things of the adult nature, make sure you do these two things. First, love each other. No, Dawn, I mean, don't make it all about the between the sheets stuff, make sure you get love and you give love. Sex-" He choked slightly, "is only worth somethin' if you're in love. It's the act of bein' in love. Your sis and I- we're experts on doin' it for almost every wrong reason you can think of, with each other or separately, so we know. Do it if you love him, if you want to. If you're not ready, but you're in love, then don't do it. 'Cause the boy loves you, truly does, can see it on him, hear it in him. He'd wait."_

_ "I know he would. I think everyone assumes we're going to spend three days shagging ourselves into a coma. I'm not even sure if we'll go past second base." Spike held himself back from wincing with a masterful effort and nodded. "That was really cool advice though. Thanks, Big Bad Brother Vamp." She winked. "Any more?"_

_ "Yeah. Don't hold back. In the uh- if you two -if-"_

_ "If Joey and I decide we're ready, don't hold back." Dawn put him out of his misery. "You mean if we feel like doing it, do it?" That didn't sound like Spike to her. Not the Spike who regarded her as something to be cherished and protected from bad impulses._

_ "Not quite. Dunno how to say it without gettin' into bad mental territory." Spike sighed and headed towards the British Airways terminal. "Sometimes people are tentative about what they do, especially if they're new together. Not tellin' you to go break limits you're first time out, but- just don't be afraid to love someone with everything you've got. It's damn scary, but it's the only thing that completes the rush."_

_ Dawn hugged him hard as the car stopped. "I love you. Thanks."_

_ "Love you, Bit. You're welcome."_

_ "You never talked down to me." Dawn pulled back and looked at him with wide, clear eyes._

_ "Never needed to." He shrugged."You're still my girl. First. Mine first. Before him. Clear?"_

_ "Crystal."_

_ "Alright. Oh- if he tries more than you want, carried away or something-" Spike's eyes hardened, "rip his face open."_

_ Dawn blinked, then laughed. "I trust him. But if -" She let it hang there._

_ "But if." Spike nodded acceptingly. _

_ "I'll save you the throat. 'Kay?" She winked._

_ "God, I love you, girl." Spike hugged her hard and fast, swallowing down anything else he wanted to say, and pushed her out of the car, into the next part of her life._

* * *

><p><em> "There's the most beautiful girl in the world!" Joey ran towards the taxi, arms open, not caring if he looked a fool, in his untied trainers and his stained scrubs.<em>

_ "Hey, Baby!" Dawn flew into his embrace with a squeal. Her fear, having come and gone in waves during the six hour flight, magically evaporated at the sight of his ecstatic welcome._

_ "I'm so, so sorry I had to send the cab!" Joey shelled out a wad of notes and grabbed her suitcases with one hand, the other hand refusing to release its hold on her waist. "Patient had an allergic reaction to Cervadil, had to do a caesarean instead because the os swelled shut. God, what a mess. But it's a healthy baby girl and the mum's on steroids for the reaction, then she'll be able to breastfeed soon."_

_ Dawn giggled helplessly, suddenly. "You could have said 'sorry, I had to deliver a baby'. Or even 'I got held up at work'."_

_ "Oh." Joey considered that, then laughed as well. "Think I burble when I'm so happy to see my girl. Besides- don't want you to think I'd fob you off with some half assed excuse."_

_ "I wouldn't think that. If I did- I wouldn't be here- kissing you." Dawn pushed herself up on her toes to kiss him briefly, not wanting to give into her urge to do a month's worth of catch up making out in the middle of the cold street. _

_ "Glad to know you know me." Joey grinned with the full force of his boyish charm. Dawn literally felt her knees liquify. Her voice came out a half octave higher when she replied,_

_ "Yep. Yep, I know you. And glad to see you."_

_ "Glad to see you, too, Beautiful. How was the flight?"_

_ "Long. Bad movie. And I totally forgot about the whole 'try not to read ancient demonology texts in front of normal people' rule, so I didn't bring any books suitable for in-flight entertainment. I got to eavesdrop on a really boring conversation about someone's greenhouse needing repair and a really juicy one about how this girl thinks her boss is leading a double life in London and New York City. That was good. It was like soaps, with no pictures."_

_ "You poor thing." Joey chuckled sympathetically. "C'mon, you must be starved. I'm gonna get cleaned up, an' then we'll go out on the town. Take you someplace posh, with dancin'."_

_ "You must love me. That's like the ultimate guy sacrifice." Dawn shouldered one bag as he took the other and they kept their hands locked together._

_ "Well- I do love you." Joey led her to the lift and they leaned together inside of it, kissing softly, getting more and more lost in each other before the doors slid open with an electronic chiming sound at the fourth floor._

_ Joey coughed in a slightly embarrassed way and held open an apartment door almost directly across from the lift. "I _did_ clean. Believe it or not. An' I did warn you. Tiny."_

_ Dawn walked in ahead of him, through the door he held for her. "Oh. No, it's... it's nice. It is!" She turned to him with an expression of determination. "It is kinda small, but there's only one person, so it's plenty big!" She turned around in the living room, which opened to a cubby of a dining room and a small square of a kitchen. Then there was an almost nonexistent hallway, about five feet of scarred wood leading to three doors._

_ "Here, let's put your things in the bedroom." Joey bumped and shuffled past her with her suitcases. Realizing that might sound presumptuous, he added, "I got it all fixed up for you." He opened one door and let her view the bed with its blue sheets and fluffy duvet, and walls covered in Manchester United memorabilia and other signs of team support. _

_ "Whoa. You weren't kidding." Dawn looked at the walls. "You _are_ crazy about your team."_

_ "Ah- wait." Joey dropped her bags on the bed and pointed quickly to the nightstand and computer desk and closet door. Photos of Dawn, and the two of them together, were proudly displayed. "See? Crazy about you, too."_

_ Dawn beamed. "I feel honored. And the place looks awesome."_

_ "Yeah well- don't look under the bed." Joey pulled her laughing from the room before she could do so. "Are you tired? You must be hungry. Let me go get scrubbed. No- you probably need to freshen up, then I'll scrub."_

_ Dawn lightly snacked his arm. "Stop treating me like a guest and treat me like your girlfriend."_

_ Joey grabbed her around the waist and brought them close together, face to face. "When I come to see you- there's a million things to look at, learn, people to talk to or look after. Your place is like the nerve center for Good Guys Inc. I guess I figure you'll get lonely for all that."_

_ "I would- but not in three days. This can be the "Us" nerve center. And really- with wedding and holiday aftermath, I could use a break from the crazy people. Did I tell you what happened on New Year's Eve?"_

_ "No, what?" Joey stole a kiss and Dawn stole one back._

_ "William knocked over the Christmas tree and Tanya caught it."_

_ "The poor baby, is she alright?"_

_ "No, _caught_ it. Like this." Dawn held her hand up, palm out, like pushing an invisible door. "Just held it in mid-air, and then Spike and Xander put it the rest of the way up. Pine needles everywhere. And William and Tanya think it's the funniest thing ever now. For him to knock something over and her to catch it like that."_

_ "Bloody hell, that's gotta be an amusin' little game to watch." Joey shook his head._

_ "Tell me about it. So far they've done it with a vase, two different family photos, and the bookshelf in Willow and Xander's living room. I'm glad I left before they tried it on the weapons. We baby proofed- but we don't have ordinary babies..."_

_ "Nothing about your world is ordinary. Well, 'cept me, I s'pose."_

_ Dawn's amused look softened into one of affection. "No. Not even you. You, Dr. Brooke," she wriggled closer and let their bodies linger chest to chest, "are _extraordinary_."_

_ Joey stopped their embrace this time, gently pushing her away. "I really am a mess, Angel Face. Do you want to use the facilities or can I go scrub off?"_

_ "I'm good. Go wash off- whatever that stuff is." Dawn looked at his scrubs which had faint splatters on them. "Do I wanna know what that is?"_

_ "Nothin' worse than what you're used to dealin' with." Joey grimaced. He never left the hospital in such a mess, but that evening he'd known he was already late and it bothered him, even if he knew Dawn wouldn't make a fuss or hold it against him. "Feel free to put on the telly, there's lots of stuff in the fridge and the cupboards. I got everything Giles said you snacked on." Joey gestured to the kitchen and the big screen television in turns. "I'll be quick as a wink an' we can decide where to go. Someplace special, I think. First time in _my_ hometown." He kissed her cheek and bustled off._

_ Dawn watched him go, mouth drying out when he pulled off his shirt as he slid into the bathroom. Just a glimpse of the back- but oh boy, what a back. Even Spike, Mr. Supernaturally Physically Perfect, didn't have a back like that. _

_ "Cold water time." Dawn muttered to herself and headed to the kitchen. She loved what she saw. On the fridge were three pictures of her, and a dozen odd photos of Joey and Vance in places she didn't recognize, with other people she didn't know. One photo was of a younger Joey in uniform standing with a girl she knew was his sister. She had the same hair and eyes. _Those must be his parents._ Dawn picked up a photo of four people, a middle-aged couple behind Joey and his sister. Mrs. Brooke was short and determined looking with Joey's curly hair. The height came from his dad, tall and broad like son, with that good natured grin etched into a craggier face. _

_ Dawn made herself return to task. "Cold water. Need something to put it in, let's move away from the photos and find a glass, okay, Genius?" She muttered tearing herself from the fridge. _

_ But the cabinets were just as distracting. Aside from duty schedules, rugby team schedules, and three different papers which all seemed to be related to professional football, there was more evidence of his awesomeness as a boyfriend. He'd printed out one of her emails. He had her Christmas card taped to the cabinet with a bandaid and another picture from the wedding put beside it with medical tape. "Gotta buy him some more fridge magnets. Or some scotch tape." She smiled and found a glass._

_ Joey, meanwhile was showering with unusual care and attention, and spending a depressing amount of time trying to see himself through the fog filmed mirror across from the small stall. _Not that I'm pushing. I'm being prepared. Do I look alright? I mean, if you're with someone so beautiful, you want to look your best right? Never had any complaints. Plenty of compliments, really. 'Specially about the size of the trouser furniture. Well, makes sense, big lad, big - oh God, that isn't going to matter to her._ Joey turned abruptly away from the mirror. _Don't be self centered, you git. Think about her.

_ Well, that didn't help him either. _She's quite narrow, compared to me. Slim. Not enough shape to her, Gran'd say. _I_ like her shape. God, I bloody _love_ her shape._ Oh wonderful. Joey looked down at himself, confronted by a rapidly stiffening piece of anatomical equipment. "Lovely. Yes, let's get a hard on, then say we didn't mean to pressure her. Let's get all hot for the girl an' then tell her stayin' in my flat with me doesn't mean sleepin' together. Very convincing." He hissed and jerked the water to the coldest setting. Shivering, but clean and unaroused looking, Joey stepped out of the shower. He sighed. All of his clothes were in the bedroom, of course. He'd planned to be home in plenty of time to get showered, changed, and be waiting for her at the airport. Not sending a cab to collect her, bring her to his flat, rush home in time to meet her as it arrived, and then shower the day's crap off of him. He grunted a curse and wrapped himself in a towel, planning to slip quickly across, change into something suitable for a night on the town, and then sweep Dawn off her feet._

_ His plans were not destined to work that day. He slid unobtrusively into his bedroom, and headlong into Dawn, who was hanging up a little black evening dress. Both of them yelped and stammered. _

_ "Uh- I- my things are just there..." Joey blushed and cinched his towel more protectively to his waist, pointing to the closet she was blocking._

_ "Oh! Right. Um, sorry, stupid of me, I was- um..." distracted by the sight of him, she had to force coherence back to the front. "The dress- trying to prevent more wrinkles." Dawn fled from the room, leaving the dress on the bed. _

_ Joey rummaged in the closet, looking for something that'd look nice alongside her fancy frock, and muttering about tiny flats and stupid working hours._

_ Dawn wasn't muttering at all, she was downing her cold water and leaning on the kitchen sink. That man in there? Her boyfriend? He was gorgeous. _Gorgeous!_ The back, the chest, the shoulders- not all super ripply and defined, but hard muscled and broad and -and wet. Every hot guy beach calendar or dorm room poster boy come to life, with the sandy, water dark hair, all wide eyed and strong jawed, with that infectious, sexy grin. She refilled her glass for a second time. _What's under that towel? And why am I turning into a sex fiend? This should happen the night I leave, after we've spent lots of quality time together, not within ten minutes of getting here!

_ But it was happening now, and who made the rues about "quality time" anyway? Quality time- they'd logged hours upon hours of talking and writing. Seeing inside each other's hearts and heads. Not that face to face wasn't crucial, it was, but the body is just the vessel for the personality you fall in love with. Not to complain about the body. Man, what a body..._

_ Dawn took another calming sip. It wasn't just about his body. It was about the nerves, and the shyness, the fact that this guy loved her and he wasn't afraid to show it, keep reminders of her everywhere without losing himself. It was about the fact that he never pushed. But he didn't run away either. _I could get very close to that. To all those things. To him.

_ "Think I look just a bit more presentable now." Joey came out in dark slacks and a white shirt, tie over his shoulder. "Where do you wanna go, Luvvie?"_

_ Dawn ran her fingers through her travel tangled hair and considered. They'd been tossing ideas around since a few days after Giles and Vance's wedding. "Hmmm, where do you recommend for someone who wants something fun, fancy, and reasonably quiet? With good food, 'cause I'm starved."_

_ "Quiet?" Joey looked perplexed. "In this city?" _

_ "Not like,_ silent_. Just reasonably quiet." Dawn came up to him and looped his tie around his neck loosely. "I hardly ever see you in person, I want to be able to talk to you without screaming over a band."_

_ "I know a couple places like that- but they aren't exactly little black dress places." Joey pondered. "What are you hungry for? There's a nice club in Oxford Street, shouldn't be too packed tonight. Or, ooh! There's a real ritzy place by the Stadium, 'bout ten minutes from the station, then we could pick a club, dozens down there..."_

_ "That sounds good. What do they serve at this place?"_

_ "Dunno. I don't eat much in the way of 'ritzy'. I'm your basic curry, Chinese, pub food, frozen meals type of guy."_

_ "Chinese?" Dawn's eyes suddenly lit up. "Like, really, real _good_ Chinese?"_

_ '"Best take-away in the city is five blocks up." Joey laughed at the sudden sparkle in her eyes and enthusiasm._

_ " 'Cause I really want Chinese." Dawn realized. "Crab rangoon and lo mein and those little crispy noodles and-" She broke off with a blush. "Sorry- I sound like a total pig, don't I? Not to mention, take away- totally not worthy of that dress. Beyond not worthy, 'cause that sucker requires a strapless bra and about ten minutes to- oh. Sorry." Dawn blushed._

_ Joey leaned his forehead to hers. "How about we take a nice walk up to get some crab rangoon and all the other things you fancy, then come back here, talk for a bit, an' go out later? Clubs are open 'til two, an' I'm off for the next few days. We can do whatever you want."_

_ "No. No..." Dawn shook her head in a burst of manners. "It's our special time together. We should-"_

_ "Do all the things we want." Joey said firmly as he slowly began unbuttoning his dress shirt._

_ Dawn's eyes widened. "Whoa! Things we want, yeah, but th-that's on my list for later." She squeaked. _

_ It was Joey's turn to have widening eyes. "I'd look a bit off goin' down to the Sweet Lotus in my glad rags, Sweetheart. I thought I'd join you in jeans and a sweatshirt." He gestured to what she was wearing. "Plenty of time to get all done up tomorrow. That's all I meant. I want to spend time with you, casual or fancy, 'kay?"_

_ Dawn nodded, too utterly mortified to say anything. _I just totally mentioned that undressing him, i.e. sex, or at least a whole new level of making out, is on the list of things I want to do._ "I think my brain has jet lag." She finally said._

_ Joey nodded, his cheeks flushed and eyes traveling down his front and back up to her embarrassed looking eyes. "If it helps, Beautiful- that's on my list, too. Y'know. In your own time."_

_ She licked her lips nervously, not seductively. "Soon." She whispered. Joey beamed. "Leaning towards very soon."_

_ He let out a deep, pleased huff of air. "Two minutes an' we'll go get some of the best bad for you food in the world." He smiled and started undoing the rest of the buttons as he walked away. In his absence, Dawn sat heavily on the sofa and listened to her heart thump._

* * *

><p><em> "More?" Joey asked the curled up form beside him on the couch.<em>

_ "No." Dawn groaned and shifted. "It's a good thing you're a doctor, 'cause I'm about to be sick."_

_ "Hard to stop eating this when it's so good." He agreed and grunted uncomfortably._

_ "I know." Dawn snuggled closer to his warm bulk and their eyes met. _

_ "Not what I planned for your first night in town." Joey murmured, stroking the champagne brown hair and admiring the wide eyes and even wider smile._

_ "Is it ruined?" She mumbled, eyes drifting away, hand coming to rest lightly on his chest._

_ "No. Bloody perfect. The most incredible woman in the world is layin' back watchin' repeats of Top Gear an' eatin' take away on my couch with me. 'Cause she loves me. Like I said- bloody perfect."_

_ Dawn slowly struggled up off the battered but plush cushions as he leaned down, and their lips met in a smiling, grateful kiss. "Yeah. She does love you." She whispered. _

_ For once in their relationship, neither of them had to leave, had to attend to someone, had to work soon after, patrol, research, get up, catch a flight... there was nothing to stop for. So they simply didn't stop._

We're not stopping._ Dawn let out a needy noise that surprised them both and sat up higher on the couch, letting him wrap her in his arms, pull her to his side, then his chest, as they turned to face each other more fully._

Should I stop? Nah. Not just yet._ Joey kissed her more thoroughly than he ever had, encouraged by the way she was kissing him back, hands tangling in hair, running across his chest. Her nubile, flexible body was starting to wrap around him, her knees drawn up on the couch and bringing her into his lap instead of beside it._

_ Dawn gasped when she felt the hardness against her hip. Eyes locked for a minute, and then fluttered closed again_. I know he's hard. I'm okay with it. God, I want it, I want him to want me. I'm not trying to tease him. I'll- I'll help take care of it. Somehow...

_ It was unintentional when his hand found her skin under her shirt, but after a minute of resting there and not having it removed- he didn't bother to worry about it. "Beautiful. You feel as beautiful as you look, Dawn."_

_ "Glad you think so." Her smile and light kiss on his throat convinced him it was safe to proceed. His hand stroked up and down her skin, reveling in its smooth perfection- and found the edge of her bra. She jumped just a bit, but held his retreating hand in place. "I won't bite."_

_ "Will anyone_ else_ bite?" He teased with mock worry._

_ "Well- not harder than this." She chewed his earlobe and waited. Would it be some big orgasmic moment, if he went under, found her breast, touched a nipple? Was this fondling thing really for women or was it just for guys? What if it wasn't good, should she tell him? _No. No, I don't think I'm making myself some kind of subservient female if I give him pleasure and I don't get a rush from it. As long as I get some- from somewhere. And we love each other. No fear, no hold backs. I want him to enjoy and he'll make me enjoy, too, I know he will.

_ "Comfy?" He hesitated. This was getting into the territory of removal of clothes and touching erogenous zones. She hesitated and then nodded, diving back against his mouth insistently. "You'd tell me if I wasn't as-"_

_ "I'd tell you I want this. I want you. I'm- I'm not sure about just what I want other than that."_

_ "Hey, step by step. No rush." _I might have to go have another ice water shower- or at least a few minutes in the loo with my thoughts an' my right hand, but there's no rush.

_ "Well, we can hit the gas a _little_ bit harder." Dawn whispered and moved against him, a cat-like arch, breast into his palm. Soon she felt a soft kneading, a soft tugging, thumb under fabric, thumb over skin- thumb on her rising nipple. _Oh. That's completely not like my hand at all. That's... ooh, baby._ She vocalized that last bit. "Oooh, Baby."_

_ "My Baby." Joey grunted and wriggled under her, one hand cupping her rear to bring it near to his straining zip. _

_ "Uh-huh." She agreed nonsensically, climbing up him by degrees, hands on his neck, his head swiveling down, finding each inch of her swan's neck and nuzzling her sweater covered bust from the outside while his hand slowly inched the bra up from the inside. _

_ "Can we get rid of the- oh. Guess we can." A white smooth cup bra dropped suddenly into Joey's lap. "These are absolutely amazing. My God, Luv." He slid the second hand under and cupped both, kneading them and pressing them together, watching her arch back to give him more. "The most perfect pair in the world. Can't wait to see these little beauties."_

_ Dawn stopped suddenly, sitting back and regarding him, feeling a twinge of guilt because he immediately looked apologetic. _

_ "Sorry- did I pinch?" He asked quickly. She shook her head. "It was 'cause I said little, wasn't it? Didn't mean little as in small, these are sweet, juicy little- damn, it's a term of affection, Luv, these are a lovely size." _

_ "I'm not insecure about my boobs." Dawn rolled her eyes. "I'm not insecure about anything, 'cause people don't fall in love and stay in love because of how they look. Obviously-" She paused then swallowed, "or else Willow wouldn't love Xander without both eyes. And Giles- well, he doesn't take his shirt off but I know. His back... his chest...He looks- he looks like he was tortured. Because he was." Her head dropped to Joey's. "I might get some pop culture stupidity on occasion, but overall- you love me because you love me."_

_ "That's so true." He caressed her neck and pressed kisses across her jaws and lips. "Why'd you get flustered, then, Luv?"_

_ "Two reasons- being confident doesn't mean I don't occasionally get some pre-show jitters." She said easily. _As in first ever show. As in opening night, a debut. No one ever saw me like he'll see me- but he doesn't know that he's the first. And I don't want to tell him. I don't want him to treat me differently, and I don't want to do some big speech about him being the first and I've never done this, and if someone uses the 'please be gentle with me' line, I may barf.

_ "We can keep the lights low." Joey reached back and smacked the remote, turning off the telly. "Or off." _If we're in here. Or the bedroom. Oh God... the bedroom. The bed. Making love to Dawn on my bed, finally, living fantasy number one on the Dawn list. Fantasies number one through ten if we go at it for awhile and get to try a few positions. Who the hell am I kidding? If we make love- it's every fantasy I've ever had. The most beautiful, amazing girl, loving me, body and soul.

_ "Good call." Dawn relaxed marginally._

_ "I'm a bit nervous m'self there. Y'know- I've seen the blokes you run with. Even Giles, hittin' the grandpa age- he's lethal with a sword, seen him train with Xander and Buffy that one time- man's as fit as half the fellows on my rugby team."_

_ Dawn ran a hand under his shirt. "Please. You so don't have anything to worry about." _

_ Joey gave himself a millisecond to preen."So what's the other reason, Angel Face?"_

_ "Your job." Dawn said bluntly. _

_ "My job." Joey winced inside. Tricky thing for a lot of people in the medical field. How d'you explain the difference between looking a person's body for love and a person's body for medical purposes- when in most people's minds, intimate areas mean intimacy? "My job is what I do, Luv. The people I see-"_

_ "That's what I want to know about. You see hundreds of- women." She swallowed. She couldn't say what she wanted to say. Graphic terminology stubbornly remained in the "embarrassing" category for the moment, even though it shouldn't be that way._

_ "I do. Seen hundreds of men, too. Not in obstetrics but in rotations, in casualty, in practicums." He rubbed her arms soothingly. _

_ "Yeah, but I'm thinking about- private area stuff. You see that. Intimately. You touch people, and I know it's your job. But you're human. Do you ever notice anything you like, are you ever attracted? Not like you'd _act_ on it!"_

_ "God, no!"_

_ "But you see stuff. That's my point. I just want to know. You know. In case we go into those areas."_

_ "Now listen. There's gonna be very few times in my life I'll do a lecture but this is one." Joey cupped her chin in his hand and held it unshirkingly before his face, looking into her eyes. "I've seen every kind of body there is, every type of genitalia. All colors, all shapes, shaved, natural, pierced, tattooed, scarred, cancerous, diseased, healthy, mums who've had ten kids and teens who've never had any." Dawn looked mildly uncomfortable and he squeezed her cheek gently to warn her not to fade out on him. "I do what I do- to help little ones survive. To help women live longer, escape all kinds of diseases, survive somethin' that used to be a fifty-fifty shot in the old days. That part of a woman is just the opening. Not _just_, no disrespect. It's a gateway to life and a whole bunch of organs. It's worth admiring and studying." His tone lost it's lecturing edge and softened. "My mum taught me that. She was a labor and delivery nurse for a long while." His tone became guiltily, almost like a naughty child's. "First time she ever caught me looking at a skin mag- must've been ten years old- oh, hell, Luv... She gave me a lecture, an anatomy lesson, and threatened to wash my eyes out with soap." _

_ Dawn laughed and rested her cheek to his lips. "So- wait- that part of the body- that's all it is to you? Medical?"_

_ "No!" Joey protested so vehemently that Dawn tilted back off his lap and they clunked their brows together as he saved her from losing her balance. "I learned to differentiate- not stop bein' a man. Oh, I think breasts and bottoms and all the lovely pink bits are gorgeous." He lightly ran a finger along her torso, between her breasts to her waistband. "But the only time I've ever had an attraction to a woman's body is when it was with a girlfriend or- okay, a magazine or movie I watched before I knew the real thing was so much better." He blushed._

_ "Hey, no judging. The girls' rooms in the dorms are just as heavy on the porn as the guys' are." Dawn blushed as well and lifted his head. "At least- the ones who haven't learned to look for the real love, not just the pictures of the fake stuff."_

_ "Yeah, you learn that real quick." He sighed. "You know what else you learn besides attraction versus vision? Touching is different. In gynecological work, you're in an' out real fast. Touches are clinical, you're using instruments, you're wearing gloves, you're talkin' about dates, disease, and weight gain, and a lot of other not so pleasant stuff."_

_ "I get that." Dawn soothed. _

_ "With makin' love it's slow, and it's for your pleasure. Never, ever tried to involve pleasure in my patients' exams. We should've talked about this before." Joey had a tone of self-berating. "Vance an' I had this conversation when I was brand new on the job. I was datin' a girl from records and invoicing. They tell us a lot of girls can't handle having their guy contractually obligated to see other women's parts all day." He let his hands fall away from her body completely._

_ Dawn grabbed them back. "No! Hey, I can handle that a lot, just fine. I'm not insecure, I'm not jealous." She paused, making sure she was being honest with herself and him, like he'd always been so honest with her. Honestly, she could say she wasn't jealous, wasn't worried in the slightest. No. She wasn't. She might have been- if she hadn't known going in what his job was. Maybe if their first conversation hadn't revolved around William's birth and Buffy's dilation and contractions. "I mean it. I just wondered how you felt. I wanted to know, going in- if I should be concerned."_

_ Joey relaxed instantly. "I feel like at work it's a body part that I gotta see. With you- I dunno how to say it right. I feel like it's a treasure maybe I'd get to share someday. I wouldn't be touching you to examine you, I'd be touching you to love you." They exchanged a glance of understanding, moving closer together, more at ease, the mood slowly returning. _

_ "I'm glad you feel that way. That I'm for loving, not for doctoring." Dawn smiled._

_ "I would be your doctor in an emergency, not saying that." Joey wanted that made plain._

_ "No, I know. I get it. It's like when you take care of someone who's down or hurt or sick. We've all done it, bandaged people up, removed arrows and bullets." Joey looked suitably impressed and she inclined her head modestly. "It's not the same, I know. Not usually in the pelvic areas, but it could happen. I mean, when Willow-" Dawn paused. "This is private- I mean she'll tell you it's not a secret, just it's something hard for her to talk about. But Willow's had two great loves of her life- Xander- and Tara." Joey's eyebrows rose briefly, then he nodded. "She delivered William. I know she wasn't checking Buffy out. And for all I know, Giles and Xander got an eyeful too, but they don't think of her like that."_

_ "Exactly!" Joey's loud tone made her wobble and catch his shoulders for support. "Attraction, that's the difference! Sex starts in the mind. My mind doesn't even register those kinds of feelings at work. Okay?"_

_ "Okay. So- now that I know for sure, how everything works..." She slid her arms more tightly around his neck, hands latching softly to the back of his head._

_ "Ah. Time in." Joey smiled into her lips before he seized them hungrily in his own._

_ Things were moving a little more urgently now, Dawn realized. Even though they'd lost the hard edge of arousal, it was fast rejuvenating. Kissing, mumbling little loving compliments and giggling, they sank back further and further into the saggy couch, hands roaming more freely. _

_ "Are you hot?" Joey asked with a pant._

_ "A little." Dawn twisted her hair up and off her neck, then realized she would have to get up if she wanted something to hold it in place with. She wasn't going to get up. Not when she was finally starting to really understand what the big point of touching and mutual attraction was. She ended up rolling up her sweater until it just came under her breasts, leaving her flat stomach bare under his hands._

She's torturing me._ Joey made a soft, barely contained sound of frustration, and rocked his hips forward as he gathered her back in his arms._

Oh. Oh, that's- huge again._ Dawn felt the hardness through his jeans and hers, and instead of moving away like she'd done previously, she wriggled closer on purpose, rubbing her aching crotch to his. She hadn't known it could hurt inside, even before anything went in. It wasn't the thought of being filled, it was the thought of being left empty. Her walls were contracting, tense and tight, making her miss a sensation she'd never even experienced. _

_ "Sweetheart, we need to-" Joey didn't know what they needed. To stop or to keep going. Because she was rubbing them together, subtly, but it was enough to drive him mad. He felt himself burning in his confines and he didn't want to rush this moment. His hand joined his concealed manhood and rubbed her tentatively through the fabric. "Is this crossin' my boyfriendly rights line?" He whispered softly._

_ "No. No, not if I can do this." Her fingers barely trembled as she traced his hardness under the zipper._

_ "Do all that an' more." Joey laughed. "Good Lord, Dawn. I love you, Beautiful." He burst out in awe. He'd done this before, many times before, although not with many women, just a selected few. But this was different. _Because she's the only one I've ever had to fight to win, fight to be included, accepted into the 's the challenge and the best friend and the prize. She's all the soft girl and all the hard woman a man could dream of. Cake and eating it, too- and she's pullin' down my zip._ "Luv?" Voice higher pitched yet more husky._

_ "Can we go lay down?" She whispered, those ethereal eyes trained on him._

_ "Sure." In awe, he found himself rising, her still in his arms, carrying her, both of them laughing in quiet surprise. He deposited her on the double bed in his darkened room, the green glow of the digital clock the only light in the place._

She's shadow and light._ Joey didn't lose his wondering train of thought as they tangled on the bed, kicking her suitcase off with a thud, brushing odds and ends to the floor. _She's the daylight, like her name- and she's all that magic she says she lost. Look at her move...

He's the solid guy and the brave guy. Strong, but not fearless._ Dawn swayed against him, a slow arch against his chest and off, a dolphinesque arc of pleasure and growing heat. _He saw the scary part of the world and came into it, with a choice. None of us had a choice, and if we did, well, I don't know, but probably we'd have hightailed it back to Normal City. Not him. Eyes wide open and never losing his composure, even if he doesn't understand, even if he's scared. Just squares those gorgeous shoulders and smiles that gorgeous smile. He just tries to see things as they are. He sees me, as I am. He loves me anyway.

_ His shirt was off first, and her mouth left loving, hot kisses all over it, biting, scraping kisses along his neck and across his thick, flat pecs. All he could do was hold onto the wave of shining silk hair and shudder when he felt her long, slender hands digging into him, his stomach, his chest, his hips, his- "Yes! God, yes."_

_ Dawn laughed and released his boxer clad stiffness. She'd palmed it, pressed it, hadn't really fully felt it. Yet. She couldn't concentrate on it right now, anyway, as his hands were skimming up her back, lifting her sweater off and over her head. _

_ She'd thought she'd either brazen this out, showing off, all sex and bravado, or freak, go all shy and cover her chest with crossed arms, pulling away. She didn't expect to just relax and let him love her. Lavish her with a hundred tiny kisses and slow, steady caresses, a dozen little murmurs of "So soft. So beautiful." filling her ears._

_ Things moved a little faster again, overwhelmed by the desire for more closeness, more skin on skin, more warmth. "You good?" Joey asked hoarsely at her throat, both of them working on each other's jeans now, struggling to get them over hips and knees without releasing each other._

_ "So good, Joey." She snagged her thumb in the hem of his shorts accidentally and hesitated. His much larger hand came down and settled over hers, pulling them down. _

_ "It's okay. Trust you." He smiled._

_ Dawn glowed inside. Smart man. He knew what to say. He didn't make this about a man taking a woman, he made it about a couple taking the next step. Smart man. lovable man. "I know. Mutually trusting here." She quivered, but just slightly, when she guided his hand up to her panties and shrilled softly when he didn't remove them- he rubbed her slick spot through the fabric. _

_ "Alright, then?" He continued to massage, marveling at how perfectly firm yet soft she could feel. And how wet she was through the thin silky fabric. _

_ "Very yes." Dawn giggled and bucked up pointedly. _

_ "You on the pill, Luv?" Joey asked belatedly, smoothing his hand down the front of her, inside her underwear this time, catching it in his fist and pulling them off. _

_ "N-no. I have-" Dawn swallowed, "condoms in my purse if you want them."_

_ "I have some. I just wanted- I just thought I should ask, sorry to break the mood." He placed his hand on her cheek. "Sorry, Angel Face."_

_ "Why? Because you care about my body and protect it? No apologizing necessary." She kissed him. "I know you're clean. Me, too."_

_ "Absolutely sparklin'," He smiled against her shoulder. "So beautiful. You know that, don't you?" he gazed admiringly down the lithe shadowy form beside him._

_ "Handsome." She murmured, and let her hand finally go where he wanted it. Around him. He protruded several inches over her fist, and almost completely filled her curled palm. _Shit. Shitshitshit! That thing- is gonna leave a mark.

_ "' Kay?'" Joey lay tensed and barely breathing. What if she didn't like the thickness or the length? He'd never asked who her old flames were, neither had she asked him. What if it hadn't been someone human? What if it had been one of these good demons? It seemed to happen more than you'd think in her circle, good vamps, people with half demon ancestry, werewolves. Some of these demons were enormous and some of them- according to the demonic anatomy guides Vee made him read- had special equipment. More than one appendage, ones that was prehensile. Or vice versa, what if it had been some nice, ordinary young guy, and now he seemed too big for her slender body? "Alright with that?"_

_ "It's perfect. It's you." Dawn relaxed. "You're packing quite a punch here, Buster." She teased to get rid of her own nervousness. They'd just go slow, and it'd be fine._

_ Joey grunted out a laugh and stroked her smooth, short curls on her mound, then slid easily down the seam of her lips. He stroked up and down where they joined, listening to her breathing speed up, feeling her legs part, and finally, feeling her lips open slightly over her entrance. "You're so soft and tight." He gently rubbed the protruding pinkness without touching her inside. He already knew she was tight, he could feel from the outside, how everything was sealed up. Must _have been a long time between lovers. Yeah- since the two little ones came at any rate. They're almost two, been two years. I'll just move nice and slow. God. It's been two and a half years for me too, then! Time flies when you're having fun...

_ "You're so big. And hard." Dawn pumped experimentally and he rewarded her with a sigh of pleasure. "Like that?" She tittered, and stroked harder. For never having even seen one of these things up close and personal, she thought she was doing pretty well._

_ "Your fault." Joey rolled onto his back, one hand still between her thighs. "Here, snuggle in?"_

_ "Yes, please. I'm freezing." Dawn cuddled close, still stroking and being stroked._

_ "I can see this." Joey lipped her taut nipples and experimentally spread her lips to find her bead. She gasped loudly, and he hurriedly soaked his thumb in her wetness to help him glide his fingertip over her small nub. "Wanna get under the covers?"_

_ "Uh-huh." Dawn was losing coherent thought rapidly. He'd slid the tip of his thumb inside her pussy. He was rubbing her clit. Oh God. Sex was going to happen. Really going to happen. Tonight._

_ Under the covers, they were cozier again, more slow- but not less intimate. "Tell me what you like." Joey encouraged as he continued to move his fingertips slowly across her while kissing every inch of skin he could reach. "My Dawn. I'd give you anything, you know that, don't you, Luv?"_

_ "I just want you. I want to be loved." She whispered._

_ "With all my heart, I do that. Love and want you." Joey swore. "An' if you could- if you could just do that for me-"_

_ "I do! I do love you. And want you." Dawn reassured urgently, rolling halfway on top of him, to look into those eyes. "I've never- loved anyone but you." She confessed._

_ Joey's throat did something unexpected and swelled shut with emotion. He managed to croak, "Luckiest man ever." and hide his face in her hair before letting out a short, satisfied laugh. "I didn't realize it myself. Not at first- but I never loved anyone before you, either. Not the way I love you, Dawn Summers."_

_ Words equal powder keg, Dawn thought, and bodies equal match. Kisses equal explosion. _

_ "Oh, fuck, please." Joey forgot his more genteel speech for the moment because Dawn was pumping him hard and kissing her way down to his cock. _

_ "Well, I'm not just down here for the scenery." She quipped in the darkness under the blanket. "Although- from what I saw- you're model material." She licked her lips nervously and closed her eyes. She hadn't thought she'd want to do this, not when she first heard about it. Ha! This was awesome. You could take the most intimate part of a man and give it all the love and pleasure in the world- just with some kisses and licks. "No holding back." She whispered, and lapped. Slowly, yes, but surely. Thoroughly, falling in love with the taste and the texture. How something so hard was so soft to the touch, so rich to the taste- and how someone so good to her was crying her name almost immediately._

_ She was being brave- but she wasn't fearless, and she had a few gaps in her confidence. She didn't put him into her mouth, just worked on the outside of it, and apparently that was plenty for a first time. Joey was squirming down under the covers in minutes, forcing her off of him and flat onto her back._

_ Dawn gulped and spread her legs, ready to feel that massive- at least relatively speaking massive- member split her open- and instead a curly haired head bumped her hard, apologized, and oral devouring began._

_ Dawn didn't know if it was supposed to feel wet and sloppy like that, with tongue going everywhere and being spread open around the mouth of someone you love. And within three seconds she decided A.) Yes, it was, and B.) If it wasn't, it should be. Also, C.) He was a sex god and should have his tongue bronzed- but only if it would still work afterwards. She didn't know if there was some technique employed or if it was just that "get stuck in" rugby mentality but it worked for her. She didn't know she could make noises like that. Or use words like that in quick succession._

_ Joey's head jerked up on her last wailing cry. "Good God, Luv." He laughed and licked his lips delightedly. "You're worse than me."_

_ "Spike." Dawn panted, convulsing._

_ "Huh?" Joey hoped to God he wasn't suddenly in the room._

_ "Taught me -how to curse. Not on- purpose." She slowly regained her breath. "Too many- injuries. Once he got acid in his nose. The air turned blue. Literally." They shared another laugh._

_ "You weren't- that wasn't put on, right? 'Cause I freely admit I'm outta practice. Haven't wanted another girl since I first talked to you. So two years of celibacy and the tongue's done nothin' but sweet talk, so..."_

_ "I don't know how to fake it." Dawn grinned wickedly. "So- rusty or not- you're just that good."_

_ "I hope I'm as good at everything else." Joey returned her naughty look. "Wanna find out?"_

_ "Yes isn't a strong enough word." She ran her hands over his shoulders as he hovered above her. He kissed her softly, then backed up to his knees, reaching across the bed, to the bedside table. _

_ "One second, Sweetie." He whispered, and turned to the side, the sound of ripping foil and scent of latex filling the air._

_ As she watched, she felt her stomach tense and her thoroughly satisfied pussy tighten in apprehension. Claire and Jenna had shared every detail with her of their first times. The pain, the blood, the eventual orgasm, the alcohol, the promises of eternal love. Both of them were with someone else now. It seemed a waste of something so precious and only given once. Plus- magic users know, virginity isn't just a little piece of tissue. It's a form of cleanliness and purity and makes you special in good and bad ways, depending on if someone wants to sacrifice you or not. It's power. It's love. And yes, she really did want to give it to Joey. She just didn't want to think about it, exactly._

Is that unfair? It's precious and I give it freely to him. Shouldn't he know? No- it's pressure. I don't want to pressure him, he doesn't deserve anymore pressure, I already come with an apocalyptic amount of pressure. But if I don't tell him- am I lying? Will he think I'm lying? No, he knows me. He'll know I did it 'cause I had a good reason. Maybe I'll just tell him after. He might not even notice. Claire and Jenna both said it's different for everyone. Some girls you couldn't tell if it's their first time or fiftieth.

_ "Love you, Baby." Joey was back, easing down on top of her, mouths joining, hands locking before caressing._

_ Dawn paused long enough to swallow some air, arms sliding around him, feeling warm and secure under him. "I love you back. I missed you so much." She burst out and clawed him tighter to her chest._

_ "I know, but now we're together. 'Bout to be more together than ever." He clasped her cheek and pressed their foreheads together. "I've been dreaming about this for so long, Luv."_

_ "I hope I live up to those dreams." Dawn whispered._

_ "Oh, you did. Already. This is the main part I dream of- the part where you look up at me, an' I realize you're still with me, for real."_

_ "Sweet talker."_

_ "Honest."_

_ "I know." Dawn's conscience prickled at her, and something of his pushed at her. A gentle nudge, a rocking, slow, steady, urging her to open up. As one, their hands went down, meeting in the middle, to guide him home. Dawn's hand withdrew and clenched on his back as her leg lifted to lock over his waist. _

_ "My girl..." He breathed and pushed._

_ "Joseph..." Breathless and broken sounding, she received._

_ Both of them groaned, and hesitantly stopped. Joey nudged again harder, and then stopped altogether. His tip was in and lodged hard. _

_ "What's wrong?" Dawn whispered, a hint of trepidation in her voice._

_ "Uh- well- I dunno. I jus'-" Joey rocked again, and she winced. "I didn't mean, too, Luv, shh, didn't mean to hurt." He kissed her crinkled brow worriedly._

_ "I didn't want to lie. I just didn't want to be treated like a little kid." She moved away from the intrusion of his crown and he rested on top of her._

_ "You didn't lie. You said, long time ago now, that you were thorough. I know you will be, already saw that you are." He blinked a few times in realization. "Are you trying to tell me I'm the first one?"_

_ "Yeah." She mumbled. And there was no more to add. You either were or you weren't._

_ Joey's head spun and his stomach knotted. _Takin' the virginity of one of the most powerful women in the world- shouldn't I feel like some big shot, some stud? Instead, I feel- better. But scared as hell. Not that I should be. I just never been anybody's first, and now I'm getting a more amazing gift than I could ever imagine.

_ "Are you- okay with that?" _

_ Dawn's whisper jolted him back to what really mattered, the woman he loved. _

"_Of course! I just wish you'd mentioned, I guess. Should've told me, I could've hurt you you're already so small next to me."_

_ "Not my fault you've got some huge package!" Dawn nipped at his shoulder and smiled a tiny grin to make him lose the concerned look on his face. _

_ "Flattered as I am, an' all, I don't seem to fit so well." His cheeks flamed momentarily and he added, "I don't have any- um- lubricant, or anything to make it easier. I do think I have some cream in the first aid kit that's hypoallergenic and -"_

_ Dawn's grin turned into a thin, tight line. "Stop. Stop, this is why I didn't want to say anything. I want to make love. I just want to love you. People never used to have all this stuff. What'd they do?" She challenged._

_ "Took their time, I guess." He smiled. "I don't mind waiting, either. If you want to wait." He offered._

_ Dawn relaxed like someone had surgically removed the worry from her. "Could we keep doing this at least?" She moved under him, and his shaft pressed along her tight split peach, pleasing them both. Joey rolled his head on his broad shoulders and let out a soft groan of satisfaction. "I want to go ahead. No creams. No waiting indefinitely. Just taking our time."_

_ "I actually prefer that." They rocked together, him feeling wetness thickening on her, and he was sure with some more encouragement they could both relax enough to seal the deal. "Do want to throw out a warning." Joey cautioned. "I'm gettin' closer the more we do. Can't help it, Luv, you feel amazin', even just this much. Might not last too long, so close to you."_

_ Well, that was fair, and flattering, that her closeness aroused him, made him want to release. That was the goal, after all. Women in magazines seemed to complain about the guys getting pleasure and they didn't. She thought that was kind of skewed, at least based on the men in her family. _

_ It seemed like women in general wanted lots of big "O" moments and men had to settle for one per session. Seemed like the guy had to wait to finish until the girl was done, because his tool was the one doing the job. Dawn was sure that way didn't seem fair. Men deserved to get overwhelmed with pleasure, too, cum when they felt the urge- as long as they satisfied their partners before or after, however they pleased them. "That's fine, Baby." Dawn softly readjusted his cock so it bumped her clit on each grind. "Are you done for the night after one time?" _

_ He shrugged. "Sometimes. I don't think so tonight, but- I'm puttin' it out there that I might be. I'd feel like a horrible person not making our first time together as good as it could be."_

_ Dawn liked that he said "their first time together" instead of _her_ first time. "Don't worry about it," she told him with absolute sincerity, "I think I can wait for a repeat."_

_ "Then let's just have fun. I don't think makin' love is supposed to be such a hard an' fast definition of 'slot A receives piece B'. Right, Beautiful?"_

_ "Absolutely right, Genius." She told him playfully, right before they got very distracted again._

_ The first thing Dawn did was line him up to her softening slit again, let them get used to each other, and this time it seemed easier, maybe a little more went in. With that, and his two slick fingertips circling busily on her pearl, she was in heaven. _

_ "More?" He whispered as she moaned._

_ "I don't think it's quite there yet." She shook her head. _

_ "No- but how 'bout one of these?" Joey licked his wet finger slowly, shocked and almost busting when her head tipped up and grabbed the finger as well, looking into his eyes as she sucked her own juice off. "God damn it, Luv. You're one hot little sex goddess."_

_ "Not a goddess. Never was." She made a show of swallowing down the next finger, watching him lock his jaw and feeling him tense his hardness alongside her thigh._

_ "You're _my_ goddess. Shut up about it, or I'll stop worshippin' you." He teased._

_ "Ooh, worshipping? That sounds yummy." Dawn released his hand from her lips. _

_ "Well- I hope you'll like it. Maybe ease things along for later, yeah?" He rested his forefinger on her entrance. She gave his wrist a prod and he went in, slowly and steadily. _

_ Dawn winced slightly. _I had to pick the biggest one, huh? How does he use all those tiny little medical tools with those big boned hands?_ Still having someone else inside her was a unique but not unpleasant sensation. _

_ "Still okay?" He inquired. _

_ "Stretchy. But okay. Oh, ooh. Wait, that's pushing okay into not so okay territory." Dawn felt the gentle, but large finger nudge into something unyielding. _

_ He withdrew for awhile until their kissing and external caressing lead her into another pleasurable peak, and he felt like he was ready to let go with her. _

_ "Sweetie..." His voice was urgent._

_ "Let's try it. I'm wetter. I'm looser."_

_ "Not gonna last for long."_

_ "You'll do fine. I'm not going to last long either." She whimpered into his shoulder as his fingers flickered over her spread lips._

_ "Love you."_

_ "Love you. Come here, Baby, come here..." Dawn pulled him all the way down, marveling momentarily at the muscles rippling in his arms as they supported his weight and cradled her in turn. _

_ "Waiting." He hissed, rubbing his tip hard against the apex of her lips one last time, sending her over the edge. Then he plunged, biting his lip and trying to watch her. It didn't work. His eyes shuddered closed on sensory overload, overwhelmed by the gulping, strangled cry of pleasure and discomfort merging, her nails scoring his skin, and heat, wetness, and a tiny little burst greeting his cock. "Angel Face. My Beautiful Angel, it's gonna get better soon, I swear." He held himself in and resisted the urge to give into the unbelievably tight grasp on his cock that caused rampant desire for thrusting and friction. As he held himself in, he nibbled her ear, her cheek, her neck, soothing little praises pouring out in a semi-worried torrent. _

_ Dawn wasn't entirely aware of the words, just the feeling of someone loving her, holding them together, joining their bodies, and she knew, she could tell, he was working the situation to her benefit. "I'm okay. Baby- you're in me. God, you're in me, it's amazing. I wanted this." Yeah, it hurt, but not bad, uncomfortable was more like it. But he was letting her adjust to the feeling, being so full._

_ "Me, too, Luv. You tell me when you're okay, and I'll go the rest of the way in."_

_ "The rest? There's _more_?" Dawn's tone made him laugh, he couldn't help it._

_ "Sorry, Angel Face, you just sounded so- shocked."_

_ "I am! That feels huge! And you're telling me there's more?"_

_ "Well, I don't have to- oh fuck! Luv, Sweetie, what are you-"_

_ Dawn could here the placating note creeping into his voice, the valiant refusal of his pleasure for her comfort. _Sorry, not happening, not until we at least try it._ She thrust her hips up and sheathed him a few more inches in- sort of wishing she hadn't. The pain momentarily took her breath away as she stretched._

_ Joey felt the heat rushing onto him. He'd seen blood before, lots of it, and blood in that area was a very common sight in the field of obstetrics. Nonetheless, he felt protective and worried when he realized the wetness he felt wasn't her arousal alone, it was proof that he was her first. "Dawn?"_

_ "Right here." Her voice was low and tight._

_ "Baby, are you okay?"_

_ "I'm okay." She smiled up at him. "How does it feel?"_

_ He floundered, unable to think of how it felt until his brain stopped boiling with worry that she'd hurt herself, that he'd inadvertently hurt her, pushed her farther and faster than he meant to. "I feel wonderful. I'm in love, and you're here with me. When I think about what you're givin' me..." He kissed her forehead then lips, "I can't express it. Grateful. Kinda in awe. Sorta stunned. Touch worried."_

_ "Worried? Why? The mess?" Dawn's face flamed. She sometimes did tend to rush into the fray, all determined and knowing the risks but disregarding them. Well, shoving a really big guy into a really small opening protected by flimsy tissue was going to cause some bleeding and some just hadn't thought it'd be such a lot of either, although the pain was fleeting._

_ "No, worried 'bout you." He corrected._

_ "I'm cool. All first timers have some pain or bleeding, or at least tightness. Right?"_

_ "No, you're right, it's not that. I just- y'know I guess I've been lookin' forward to this in my fantasies for such a long time, an' I'm so afraid to let you down, not live up to what you deserve. I want to impress you, be some hero in bed, supernatural like Spike, or just a machine like the other guys in your group."_

_ Dawn caressed his face, eyes sparking as she shook her head frantically. "But that doesn't matter. If you told me I could sleep with the god of sex or Joseph Brooke, I'd pick you."_

_ Joey looked flattered, pleased, and then a bit nonplussed. "This calms me down how? Now I'm gonna have to better than a sex god?"_

_ Dawn rolled her eyes and slapped the top of his head lightly. "No, dummy. I'd pick you because I love _you,_ I don't care if this sucks, not that it does!" She reassured swiftly. "But I wanted to be with _you_, the man I _love_. It can't suck, could never be bad, just 'cause this is us being together and that's good." With a jocular note in her voice, but deadly serious eyes, she continued. "If Mr. Sex God came up and said 'come with me, I'm _the_ best ever', I'd tell him to get lost. "Cause I wouldn't sleep with him anyway. I waited all this time -not for it to be good, or make the earth move, or even live up to someone's expectations. I waited until so I could be in love." Her tone went from serious to awestruck. "I'm finally in love." She whispered. "Finally in love..."_

_ His voice matched. "So am I."_

_ She smiled up at him, glowing more than ever. "See? It just got better."_

_ There wasn't some magic moment, where everything went perfectly clear, or suddenly they found some secret sexual power, or her ancient primordial mojo flooded back in. It was love between a young man and woman, who'd just realized they'd never really been in love before._

_ It was slow and steady, bodies learning to work together, hers giving a little more each time, his learning the right angles, and getting more comfortable._

_ Soon the air under the covers was too warm, and they were naked and splayed on top of the sheets, gloriously un-shy and not caring for the mess or the self-imposed rules anymore._

_ "Gimme your knees." Joey muttered through clenched teeth. He was stubbornly resisting his release until she'd stopped having little half orgasms and did the big one, good and proper._

_ "I can't cum. I mean- I can, but not like the screaming orgasm girls, okay?" Dawn whimpered in exhausted pleasure._

_ "I'm gonna make you." He informed her, jaw and shoulders setting._

_ "My muscles are still too tight, Honey, please... I can wait until next time." She grasped his hands on her knees, marveling that in the course of a couple hours she'd gone from being afraid to take off her top to literally baring everything, probably more than her doctor had ever seen._

_ "No, lemme try one more thing..." Joey changed the angle and aimed straight up and in, taking one hand and pushing her flushed, raised bead in a furious circle. "Tell me if I'm doin' it too hard?"_

_ "Okay. Oh- oh- OH, HOLY SHIT!" Dawn arched up, wide eyed and wide mouthed, cry vanishing, replaced by hysterical laughter as a full orgasm overwhelmed her. "Oh wowwowwow!" She squealed, happy and delighted and shaking from the waist down. "Cum with me? I'm cumming, really cumming, come on, do it with me." She bounced her hips on him, exuberant satisfaction winning out over the feeling that making love was always something purely serious._

_ Joey threw his head back and let out three silent pants into the air in time with three massive spurts that shook his frame and reverberated in her body._

_ Then he collapsed on her, grinning. _

_ "_That_ was awesome!" Dawn sighed._

_ "Oh, good." He laughed weakly. _

_ "Did I sound too giggly teen girl just then?"_

_ "You sounded happy."_

_ "Good. Because I am so totally happy with you. With us." She kissed him and whimpered suddenly when he withdrew. "Hey!"_

_ "Sorry, Darlin'. Gotta, or the swimmers'll escape." Joey deftly removed the thin rubbery sheath and deposited it in the bin by the bed._

_ Dawn closed her legs and pulled the top sheet over her lower half. "We- um- we're a mess."_

_ "I know." Joey grinned. "'Cause you let me love you."_

_ "Ah, ah, ah. 'Cause we both got into that lovin' action." She sat up slowly, grinning at him. "But I should- go clean up."_

_ "Sure. Sure you, go first, I'll tidy up here." Joey watched her struggle up, oddly empty feeling, like the afterglow was too short lived, and call him any nancy type insult you want, he wanted it to last much, much longer than that, wanted to cherish it, cherish her. But of course, girl needed to scrub off, it was messy, this first time._

_ "Do you have to tidy up?" Dawn asked hesitantly. "I'm coming right back. I just- umm, well, I'm all bloody and sticky. Good bloody and sticky, but still. Call me a girly girl, but I like to be able to get super cuddly sans drippy stuff that clashes with the sheets."_

_ Joey laughed and sat up with her. "You do that and don't give a single thought for the sheets. That's why the good Lord invented laundry soap."_

_ In less than two minutes Dawn had returned, finding her boyfriend spreading towels over the rumpled sheets. "You were faster than I thought you'd be." Joey looked up to find her framed in the doorway, dimly backlit by light from the living room, draped in a sheet, a vision of beauty with her slim figure, long dark hair, and pale cream skin. And then she dropped the sheet. "Not that I'm complainin'..." Joey swallowed, and hardened, seeing, albeit barely, the naked form he'd been feeling for the last hour._

_ "Hi." Dawn bolted into his arms, knocking him back on the bed. "Oops." She laughed down on him._

_ "Oh, please, Luv. Make more mistakes, they're fabulous." He caressed her nude body lovingly._

_ "I thought you said you weren't supernatural!"Dawn chided him._

_ "What?"_

_ "How are you all big and pokey again? Huh? Stamina boy." Dawn nudged his hardening cock with her knee._

_ "I didn't like to brag." Joey rolled his eyes. "Not gonna be like this all the time, but when someone so beautiful is givin' me a show..." He nudged her nether regions with his own knee._

_ Dawn hissed softly. "Shouldn't have run. Or jumped."_

_ "Sore?"_

_ "Just a little. But if you guilt trip yourself over it- I'll be so pissed off." She glared at him._

_ "I don't wanna invoke the wrath of the mighty Dawn."_

_ "That's right." She growled with mock anger._

_ "Not scared of you. Girly." He winked._

_ "Don't call me that!" She squealed and hit him with a pillow. He hit her back, and they tussled, until she was on her back, swallowing as his bulky form enveloped her. "Truce?"_

_ "Nah. You win." Joey gave in with a lazy grin. "On the condition that you give me a prize for bein' such a good sport."_

_ She licked her lips seductively. "I'm right here. Take your prize." She caressed a line from his shoulder to hardness._

_ "You said you were sore." He reminded her softly. _

_ "But the feeling when you're in me is so worth it." She replied._

_ "You on top then. Ride so you're comfy." Joey easily rolled back and looked to the side, regarding her suddenly startled face._

_ "If you laugh... I never even rode a horse, okay? I have sucky balance anywhere but on a battle field or a stage. Buffy doesn't even like when I get the roasting pan off the top shelf of the cupboard because I have to use a step stool!"_

_ "Sweetheart, I couldn't laugh at you. An' this isn't a matter of balance." He eased her on top. "This is me holdin' you, you slippin' up and down on me, instead of me slidin' in and out of you."_

_ Dawn started to slide down, noticing it felt different, warmer, more alive this time, and stopped short when Joey suddenly grunted a curse and pushed her up again. "Hey!"_

_ "Forgot the protective coating." He joked, not looking at her, reaching into the drawer again._

_ Dawn watched him tear open the packet, staying his wrist as it moved down. "Can I put it on?"_

_ "Uh- sure." Joey passed her the little ring of plastic with a puzzled half-smile._

_ "I like how you feel with nothing against me." Dawn spent a second rubbing their bare flesh together._

_ "Me, too." Joey's breath caught as she dipped his hard tip in and out of her swollen, dripping opening for a mere second. "But-"_

_ "I know. But maybe next time you come to visit- we can do something else. I don't mind taking a pill. If you think- we'll make good use of it." She blushed and stroked his velvety steel for another moment._

_ "I'll make good use of it, I swear." Joey caught her hand and guided it around him. "Here, I can put that on." He tried to take the condom from her._

_ "No, I was trying to- I don't know. Not make it something _you_ had to do, something _we_ do. For both of us. I love you. I appreciate you keeping us safe."_

_ "I'll always keep you safe. At least, try to." Joey stroked her hair and watched her sheath him, the first time anyone else had ever done it for him. It was intimate, it was couple-y. it was more than boyfriend and girlfriend. It was grown up, even though she was so young, even though they both were. "You're bloody brilliant." He informed her suddenly._

_ "Takes one to know one." She smiled softly and let him smooth the protective barrier. "Here we go..." She leaned forward, straddled him, and rocked back slowly, maneuvering with his help until she was slowly sinking down his length. She moved gingerly, but found, to her newly opened and painfully stretched channel, that this was very comfortable and she had more control._

The most beautiful girl in the world is riding me. Oh God, she's so hot. She's so fuckin' hot, so fuckin' gorgeous, breasts on my chest, feel her nips pokin' into me, feel her heat soakin' me._ Joey ran his hands down her back and shoulders and up, inhaling in contentment. _

_ "Good, huh?" Dawn smiled confidently. _

_ "Phenomenally good." He returned._

See, this must be what makes Buffy go crazy all the time and turn into a sex maniac. Aside from the thought that Spike has a perpetually dirty mind and she sorta shares it now._ Dawn leaned back and sat up a little straighter, letting the soft swish of their hips pressing into all her pleasure spots take the pain away and go straight into really good tingly territory. She looked down at Joey, who was gazing up at her with a look of love, but also a look of sheer awe and almost worship. _That's the way Spike looks at Buffy sometimes. The way Giles looks at Vance. Even Xander and Willow kind of share that look sometimes. This is why the sex lives in my house are insane and pretty much public knowledge._ Dawn took control of the ride completely, head back, cupping her own breasts, and frankly, making a show of it. Joey hissed in enjoyment and let his hands join hers. _

If the guy treats you like a sex goddess, well, hello , suddenly you are one._ She licked her lips sultrily. "Hey, Baby." She purred. Joey remained speechless. _

_ This second time was more heated, oddly enough, over much more quickly, and possibly more pleasurably, lasting about twenty minutes instead of the long, tangling hours of the first time._

_ Joey laid back and watched her unravel, unraveling himself right after her, clutching the splayed, frantic palms that imprinted his chest, listening to a happy wail with a touch of banshee in it, crowing a bit himself. _

_ Actually, "a bit" might be an understatement. "Oh God. Oh bloody sweet Jesus - I know you weren't experienced, I know I was the first but- God... Sweet Jesus..." Joey cradled her to his chest as she curled up, both of them spent and nerve endings afire. "You're good." He sighed in conclusion._

_ Dawn giggled. "Was I thorough?" _

_ He looked at her with passion glazed eyes. "That just made every fantasy I ever had completely boring. That was the good stuff." He pulled her up with him as he sat, peering at her with playful suspicion. "How'd you do that?" He demanded._

_ She wiped her sweating neck and laughed when his tongue followed the path of her arm. "I don't know. It's easy when the guy is looking up at you and adoring you." She whispered, nuzzling his nose with her own._

_ "If I didn't already know you'd had enough of being supernaturally worshipped, I'd start building an altar." He murmured into her cheek, heading back down her soft throat to her shoulder._

_ "Mmm, make it a double one. 'Cause you got some stamina, Sweetie. You got the moves. You deserve some worshiping yourself. Plus, the size. I mean, I know it isn't supposed to matter, but-"_

_ "Not that big." Joey said. "Not really."_

_ Dawn bit his lobe lightly, then twisted his head back up to pierce his eyes with her own. "I disagree. Girl riding massive boyfriend stallion parts says different."_

_ He laughed. "You're somethin', Angel Face- but I don't think angels could do that thing with the hips..."_

_ She blushed. Funny how trying something she'd never tried before was so awesome, and so easy, odd how it was her first time- and with him it felt like it was something they'd always done. "Oh, you like the circling?" She bit her lower lip._

_ "I don't think yes is a strong enough word..."_

_ "Good." Dawn leaned against him more fully, and they lay in silence for a few blissful moments._

_ "Do you need to get cleaned up again?" Joey breathed out, tinges of regret in his tone, hating chivalry and being sensitive just for that moment. He really wanted her to lay beside him until they fell asleep, wake up beside her, start all over again. But... he was used to sloggin' through eighteen hour days. An' he didn't have the same bits as she did. _

_ Dawn rolled off of him lazily. "Sure, clean up." She sat on her knees and looked down on her lover. The best guy in the world. The best guy for her. The _only_ guy for her. "Umm. You wanna come with me this time?"_

_ He pushed himself up eagerly- then stopped. "It's not very big, Luv, just a stall." He pointed out. "We'll be all squashed, hardly room for one person, let alone two."_

_ Dawn rolled her eyes at his folly. "Duh. Why do you think I want you in there with me?" She rose, hands on hips, looking at him with mock scolding in her eyes._

_ Joey looked at her and her "I won't take no for an answer" face, and let out a wicked, naughty growl as he made a grab for her._

_ Dawn darted off, loving being chased, even more, loving being caught._

_ "Mm, I thought first times were supposed to be all heavy and passionate, nighties and candles and stuff."She cried as they slammed backwards into the tight cubicle of a shower._

_ Joey cranked the water on and they let out a squealing laugh as icy water sprayed them "I can yell do over and go get us a bottle of wine and some mood music?" He offered._

_ Dawn shivered and moved into his muscular arms as the water warmed. "No!"_

_ "Sure? We got two more days and two more nights before you hightail it out of here. Got lots of time. I even think I have some wine under all the cans of lager..."_

_ Dawn hit him with the bar of soap and cried out in surprise when he fumbled to catch it, bumping into her, backing her back into the wall again. Laughter turned into a low moan when his hands came to rest low on her back, then crept down to knead her cheeks. _

_ "I don't want a do over. I don't want anything but this." She whispered sincerely. But her lover thought he should offer more. She deserved more. So precious to him, so precious to the world, and she didn't even know it. Or if she did- she didn't make a big deal out of it. "Sorry it wasn't all candles an' nighties like you wanted." He softly bit down on her neck. "Lemme make it up to you, Baby."_

_ "Apologize again, and I'll put you down this itty bitty drain." She threatened. "Seriously, Joey. I'm so happy. And- and I love you. It doesn't hurt. I thought it was going to be all agonized. Not the sex- okay, maybe a little bit- but being in love. I thought for sure it had to hurt." She laid her head under his, visions of an insane Spike, a battered Buffy, broken Willow, silent, distant Giles, and a crumpled Tara flashing before her eyes. "It always hurts..."_

_ He shook his head. "Not for us. No. See, we get the agony with the long distance thing. Don't need anymore." He tilted her chin up. "I love that smile of yours, Angel Face. I'm gonna keep it there. Nothin' is gonna make you sad except the price of our round trip tickets and the prices of coffee in the airport lounge." _

_ Like magic, the smile was back in place, tears that had toyed with overflowing blinked back and disappeared. "You are a brilliant man, Dr. Brooke."_

_ "You are a brilliant woman, Ms. Summers."_

_ "I totally love you. You get that, right? Not just a little bit, I love you _all_ the way, or I wouldn't be in here, playing human bath toy with you."_

_ His laugh was rich and deep, booming in that wide-shouldered frame. "Completely head over heels in love with you, too, Beautiful." _

_ Dawn's eyes laughed up at him, and it hit him, fully hit him, making his heart miss a beat. _That's the future Mrs. Brooke right there. I don't care if it takes me ten years or twenty-_ that's_ the girl I'm going to marry.

_ "Why are you looking at me like that?" Her eyes narrowed then went comically wide. "Oh no, do I have Chinese stuck in my teeth or something? You would have told me, right?" She clapped her hand over her mouth._

_ "Your smile is beautiful. No lo mein in sight." He struggled to resist the urge to tell her right then, pour out everything, a simple, confused proposal of simple, unconfused love. But he held it. He'd learned with Dawn that the wait was worth the reward. "I was just lookin' at you. 'Cause you make me so happy whenever I see you." He ran his thumb along her lower lip._

_ "I hope I always do that. Always make you so happy."_ That sounds kinda permanent, I hope I don't freak him out. I do mean always. But- but "always" is scary sometimes. But it shouldn't be. But it is. Maybe I should-

_ Joey cut off her inner panic with a kiss. When he pulled back, his smile was soft and glowing. "Always has a nice ring to it." _


	22. Chapter 22

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for your patience, if you're still reading, after this long, long, looooong delay, while I finished _Unmentionable _and updated _You an' me Against the World._ Some re-reading or re-skimming might be in order. In this chapter, we're getting glimpses of Joey and Dawn's courtship, and little scenes from the family life. Some of the chapter was taken from Behind the Scenes, so if you recognize it, that's why. A generally nice, progressive chapter. Possibly too wordy, I'm not sure. _

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, Inazea, and Cosmiclove_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of _Starting Over_)

**Couple**

_"Don't go all Yank on me, Luv. Put your lungs in it!" Joey waved his red and gold football rattle twice and joined in, arm around Dawn's waist as she jumped up and down beside him. _

_ "U- NITE-ED!" She screamed the word, breaking it into three separate parts. _

_ "That's my girl." Joey beamed at her. _My girl, my lover, my friend. My future.

_ "Totally am." She beamed back. _Completely his.

* * *

><p><em> "Am I s'posed to buy you a corsage for the theatre?" Joey knotted his tie as he stood in the shaft of afternoon spring sun pouring in Dawn's window.<em>

_ "No, for proms and stuff like that." Dawn squirmed into her most formal but summery looking dress, the peach one she'd worn to Willow and Xander's wedding. _That was three years ago. Whoa. Time. Fun. Flying happened.

_ "I'm sorry I didn't get to see you act in _your_ last play. But I'll be here for graduation, Beautiful."_

_ "This is Broadway, Babes, so much better than our little NYU at Pine Ridge plays." Dawn turned to face him. "Ready?" She grabbed her overnight bag. Joey couldn't come over as often as they liked- and sleeping next to the protective siblings with super hearing was not entirely conducive to making up for lost time. He'd spent two days with them in Pine Ridge and they were going to spend one overnight in the city._

_ "Be ready in just a sec. You wanna go hug the little ones?" Joey smiled and took his own bags in hand._

_ "Ooh, right! They're- let me see-" Dawn made some mental calculations- "is it Friday or Saturday?"_

_ "Sunday, Sweetheart." Joey chuckled._

_ "Shut up." Dawn elbowed him and stepped into her shoes, her legs now even further elongated, making Joey practically drool. "If it's the third Sunday... they're with Vance."_

_ "I'll have to head over there anyway, see my Vee 'fore I go." Joey grinned and passed his arm around her slender hips. "C'mon. Don't want to watch you fight rush hour. Again."_

_ "I told you! I only forgot for two seconds about the left side, right side thing! We didn't _actually _have a head on collision." Dawn blushed furiously and walked quickly away._

_ "Never thought my life would end on the way home from the airport, always thought it'd end in the plane." Joey pushed. _

_ "Stop it, Brooke."_

_ "Oh, alright Summers. Really was my fault anyhow. Shouldn't'a let you drive us to the flat when you'd never even driven in England before. And the airport area is always full of mad drivers."_

_ "That's universal. Every airport area in the world is full of mad drivers." Dawn giggled._

_ "You off then?" Spike appeared at the bottom of the stairs as they arrived at the landing._

_ "I have to go hug the super kiddos." Dawn hugged Spike. "Good boy. You stopped wincing whenever you smell me." She kissed his forehead. Spike made a ferocious grimace that silenced her- a rare feat._

_ "Don't push your already strained luck, Niblet." Spike warned and glowered at the pair. He didn't like knowing that his little sis was starting to be - he winced internally- engaged in carnal pursuits with anyone. But on the other hand- he'd always known it would happen someday and he was delighted that Dawn was happy, looked after, and that Brooke took good care of her. Made her happy. Made her heart full. _Because there is nothing more tragic that I've seen in a world of tragedy than a Summers woman with an empty heart, or one locked down and sealed up tight. _"You go hug the sprogs. Buffy's over there, at the old folks home."_

_ "Oi!" Joey snapped at the crack made at Vee's expense. He and Spike exchanged a grin. Protective streaks in common, the young doctor thought, and in love with same people, in different ways. "Be right behind you, Luv."_

_ "Don't be long." Dawn glanced at the clock, made a small yip of hurry, and rushed out the front door, barely giving Spike enough time to move out of harm's way._

_ "Wish she'd stop doin' that when she's in a hurry." Spike groused._

_ "She _is _in a frightful hurry, isn't she?" Giles entered the front door, rubbing his cheek with one hand and carrying a large stack of books in the other._

_ "What happened to your face?"_

_ "Dawn. Kissed me a bit too enthusiastically in passing. I must work on her balance training, honestly. She could be nearly as graceful as Buffy, but she-"_

_ "She's working on it. We trained on the beam all last week. It's those damn stiletto heels." Spike countered, taking the books._

_ "Dunno why she needs 'em. She's got legs that go on forever..." Joey contributed. He earned himself two glares and flushed. "She does! I love and cherish her legs, all of her, though." He defended himself._

_ "Erm. Yes. Well." Giles cleared his throat nervously, eyes darting at Spike._

_ "Wanted to speak to you about that. Both of you." Joey ran a finger under his collar, fighting the mounting tension._

_ " 'Bout her legs?' Spike's glare heated up._

_ "Loving and cherishing." Joey rolled his eyes. "Dunno who to speak to exactly. Feel like in this place you're all so looped up together..." He sighed. "Oughta talk to all of you. Or none of you. Really just need to talk to Dawn. But thought I might mention it to you first. Then swear you to secrecy."_

_ Giles and Spike exchanged a glance. "Are you thinking what I think you are?" Giles breathed._

_ "Someday down the road. When she's out of school. When she's a bit older maybe." Joey met the two pair of startled eyes. "I've already decided she's the only one for me. Don't care if I'm still waiting for her to accept my offer when I'm fifty. I don't want anyone else, and I'm not shoppin' around. Just thought I ought to let you know. She's the only one I want. Only one I ever really have, when I think about it."_

_ To his intense surprise, Spike was the one who looked agreeable. "Know what you mean. Sometimes you know you have the real thing, an' your heart'll never accept anything but the genuine article. Summers women are like that."_

_ "Dawn's not even finished her degree! She's not a full Watcher yet, either. She'll need to-" Giles sputtered in the moment of understanding silence. _

_ "I know. An' I'm nothin' much to offer her. Not compared to what she could have. Jus' a normal bloke."_

_ "Did someone call for a normal bloke? Me?" Xander entered through the back door, sweaty and carrying an odd assortment of tools and papers. "I need someone to double check the level for me. Why am I being summoned?" He took a break from building the connected, enclosed walkway from the Summer' house to his own to join the conversation._

_ "You're not the one in question. It was Joseph saying he's a normal human." Giles looked somber. _

_ "The best people are." Xander preened. Spike shoved him, and he elbowed him back. "Why are we having serious faces? If it's those 'come to drink the blood of the sacred child' people again, can we start building a bomb shelter? Willow's going to go atomic if she hears about that vampire baby cult thing one more time."_

_ "They're done for now. There'll be more. There'll always be more." Spike scowled. "No, the news is- you might not be the only loser in the family anymore, Patches. Joey wants in."_

_ "He's already in, isn't he?" Xander rummaged in the fridge, pulling out a beer. _

_ "Officially in. Someday. Few years or so. Not in a rush." Joey flushed. "I just know Dawn's the one for me. Thought maybe I should let one of you know. In case that's one of the traditions she'd want me to hold to. Never know with her." There was an instant chorus of agreement._

_ "No, no you don't." Giles sighed._

_ "Amen to that." Xander nodded fervently._

_ "Bloody unpredictable." Spike huffed. "Well..." he looked at the occupants of the room, "Dawn likes him."_

_ "She _loves _him." Xander beamed._

_ "Vance would be thrilled to death." Giles smiled suddenly._

_ "Do I tell Buffy and Willow then? That I've got honorable intentions?" Joey asked._

_ "Buffy'll know." Spike tapped his forehead. "Linked up. An' Red and Jolly Roger aren't claimed but they might as well be."_

_ "I won't make a big issue then. I'll let Dawn know where I'm headin'. Then she'll be the first one I tell when it's time." Joey frowned. "She never tells me anything about her father, but she talks about her mum all the time. She calls you her dad." He looked to Giles._

_ "That is because Hank Summers is a bastard and has no right to live on this most lovely of planets except to produce Buffy." Giles hissed. Spike raised a single brow and Giles calmed slightly. "I'm sorry, did you want to have an outburst?"_

_ "Nah, I think it was your go." Spike smiled faintly._

_ "He was okay until Buffy went to college." Xander shook his head. "I don't know what happened..."_

_ "His secretary must've been of age this time." Spike scowled._

_ "Ah." Joey's own brow lowered. "Womanizer?"_

_ "We think that. Or just damned irresponsible. He hasn't spoken to the girls since -"_

_ "The day of our wedding." Spike's scowl turned violent. "Bastard couldn't have lunch with her on her weddin' day. Course he didn't know it was goin' to be our weddin' day, but... Dammit. Couldn't come to the phone after his kids' town gets destroyed... Giles is the father. If you want to get someone's paternal blessing, get his." Spike finished in a guttural rush, anger darkening every line of his face._

_ "You have mine." Giles replied automatically. "As agreed upon several months ago." They shared a smile. "You trusted me with Vance. I'll trust you with Dawn. If you fail-"_

_ "Death by fangs." Spike vamped._

_ "Hammers." Xander twirled his carpentry tools expertly._

_ "And nasty little spells." Giles looked positively menacing over the top of his rims and tapped his books._

_ Joey laughed suddenly. "You know- odd as it sounds, the only thing I feel when you lot threaten me now is kinda relieved. That Dawn's got so many people who love her like she oughta be loved."_

_ "Damn." Xander looked at Spike. "He's good."_

_ "Smooth." Spike admitted grudgingly._

_ "He's in." Giles patted his shoulder briskly. "But you'd best get straight back out- at least out of here. Dawn's a lovely girl but she's strangely impatient about curtain times."_

_ Joey looked at the three imposing figures who didn't really seem imposing at all, not anymore. "Ta, mates. See you in a few months."_

* * *

><p><em> "You graduate in a few months time." Joey remarked as he poured out a flute of champagne and rested it on the hotel's serving cart. "Speaking of occasions worth a bottle of the best."<em>

_ "Yeah." Dawn giggled and embraced him from behind. "Then I'll be all mature and responsible. I think it happens with the stupid hat." She kissed his broad, bare shoulders._

_ "You're already mature and responsible, Luv." Joey reveled in her often craved, seldom experienced touch._

_ "Speaking of which..." Dawn bit his shoulder softly, standing on her bare toes to do so, and then went and rummaged in her bag, emerging with a little purple pouch. "Responsibility pills." She smiled and took one, swallowing it with a delicate sip of champagne. _

_ "Speaking of which..." Joey flattened her back to the bed, trailing feathery kisses down her torso, drinking in the sight of her wearing just a white strapless bra and thong. "I love how you feel in nothing."_

_ "I love how _you_ feel in nothing." She laughed softly and unzipped his black dress trousers._

_ "Glad you're adjusting to the size." He closed his eyes as she found his rod and cupped it, pulling firmly but with a softness that amazed him. _

_ "I'd adjust better if we could do this every other night instead of every other month or so."_

_ "Yeah? I think so, too." He smiled down on her. "But- what are we gonna do about that, huh, Sunshine?"_

_ Dawn's breath caught, a combination of "Is he going to go serious, as in moving continents serious- on me?" worries, and delight because he knew the exact spot on her earlobe to produce a pleasurable rapid loss of air. "I- uh- I guess I could ask Willow if they can make me another one of those traveling orbs that Vance uses." _

_ "No... no, I did Tanya's medical. That baby gives off readings almost as strong as her mum's already. The more she's exposed while she's still so close to Willow, the stronger they'll get."_

_ "And she can't control it."_

_ "Not yet, accordin' to all the books Vee and Giles shoved under my nose."_

_ There was silence, kissing and touching in the stillness, until finally Dawn reached over and snapped the light off. "Some guys don't like going without. And you already waited a looong time." Dawn kissed her way down his tensed torso. His deep, convulsive shudder and moan as she grabbed him with her mouth bore witness to her words. "I don't like not being with you."_

_ "It's not one sided." He gasped and tangled his hands in her hair. _If I'm the only one she's ever had- how the bloody fuck is she so amazin' at this?_ "You don't like goin' without either." He grappled her hips up so they lay along his arm as she nibbled and licked him. He lightly pressed her folds through her thong and his fingers came away soaking wet. What's more, Dawn let out a very audible whimper at each touch._

_ "I don't mind." She lied. "Okay, I mind, but I don't want to trade it. Ever." She clarified._

_ "Same. Ever."_

Ever. He keeps saying things like always and ever, and that I'm his.

_ "I love you more than anything. Anything." He brought her head up slowly, gently, looking into her eyes. "And I would wait forever for you."_

_ Dawn kissed him with abandon, heart flying free._ I totally love everything he says. Forever is at the top of my list._ "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." And she proved it._

* * *

><p><em> "So- Mr. Chauffeur, where are we going to spend this lovely, rainy weekend?" Dawn slung her overnight bag into the back of Joey's battered Ford, and kissed him again as she climbed out of the rain.<em>

_ "I got us tickets to see this awesome band, an' my rugby match is Sunday. Hm. Mum and Dad are comin' to that."_

_ "Your parents? Your _parents_?" Dawn felt a sick woozy feeling over take her. _

_ "They're not so bad. They hear about you all the time..." He soothed._

_ "But- but- I'm younger than you! I just graduated and my jo- my job I can tell them about- is a free lance arts and entertainment journalist! Oh my God, forget that, what about the fact that my family is made up of slayers, vampires, demon-hunters, and witches?" Her voice was almost hysterical._

_ "Oi, where's that hellcat I fell for, the one who told me I could love her family or get bent?"_

_ "She's freaking out because she never cared what anyone thought! But if your parents hate me then you'll give me up and then - well- caring! Major amounts of caring!"_

_ "Who the bloody hell said I'd give you up?" Joey jerked the wheel savagely, hurt and stunned she'd even think that._

_ "It makes sense! You're-normal." She looked at her knees._

_ There was silence for several minutes. "Yeah. Thought you were, too." He whispered finally._

_ "You know what I mean. My life is supposed to be weird, but your parents are so nice and I love all the stories you tell about them and your sister. I don't think they'd ever even believe that I-" She trailed off._

_ "Who's tellin' 'em? I plan on introducin' you as Dawn Summers, the love of my life and if they give me a hard time about it- well- I love you an' I need you. I'm not givin ' you up, an' this conversation is sod all stupid."_

_ "What?" Dawn squeaked indignantly. "How can you even say that?"_

_ "Because it is! For the last two years my mum's been beggin' me to go find a girl, and she is going to love you. My dad too. End of story."_

_ "You don't just get to pull the guy card and tell me when my conversation is over." Dawn's inner bitch snapped into action._

_ "No. I just pulled the best friend and lover card. I just pulled the 'I promise you it will be okay' card. Now, are you gonna keep it, or you gonna freak some more?"_

_ Dawn took a deep breath. "If your parents hate me- I'm gonna kick your ass, okay?"_

_ "I dunno. I was trained by the best." He kissed her cheek._

_ "Oh God. I'm so sorry, Baby. I wigged and took it out on you."_

_ "It's okay. Still love you."_

_ "I wanna keep you. I wanna keep you so bad." Dawn admitted suddenly, in a scared wheeze, like she was afraid to let out this secret._

_ Joey did an incredibly stupid thing, because they were coming to a roundabout and once he got off, he'd have a hell of a time getting back in, but he pulled into the exit before the circle. "Dawn- I love you, Sweetheart. I don't wanna be given up, yeah?"_

_ She clung to him convulsively, straining against her seat belt. "I wasn't supposed to be here, in the world, and a- a long time ago I didn't think anyone loved me and I didn't think I belonged and-" _

_ "Dawn, Dawn, sweetheart-"_

_ "Shh, listen!" Dawn shook off his attempts to comfort her. "My family does love me. They do, I get it, I totally believe it, know it, live it." Her tear filled eyes, always big and round became even more so, drawing her smitten swain in further. "That's all that's mattered to me, and not losing their love- well, that was one of those things I learned the hard way, that it can't happen, no matter what else goes wrong." She took his face in her hands. "I never, ever thought losing a- a person who wasn't 'family' would matter to me, but then you came along..." She trailed off desperately. "I don't know to explain it. I wanna keep you."_

_ "Dawn. Darling." Joey's voice was grave as he wiped at her eyes. "I'm tellin' you, if you could just calm down- that I wanna be kept." He soothed. _

_ "I believe you." She finally nodded, swallowing around the dissipating lump in her throat. "Family's just so important, and I know if you had to choose-"_

_ "I choose you." Joey said hoarsely. "But who says I have to choose between you an' my family?" He swallowed hard, adrenaline racing in his veins, fight or flight instinct suddenly kicking in, washing over him in time with the throb of the city's rushing traffic, in time with her heaving, slowing, half-sobs. She'd been so frantic. _Losin' me. That scared the all powerful, unscarable, unshakable Dawn Summers._ "How 'bout- someday-" He took her hands firmly in his own, voice dead serious, eyes unblinking, "How 'bout someday you be part of my family, Dawn? How 'bout that? Then you'll know two things. That I'll never have to choose between you an' them, 'cause you'll all be one thing. And you'll know you can't ever lose my love."_

_ Dawn's heart thudded so hard she thought she might pass out. Surely some of that blood needed to go to her brain, it couldn't all be stuck in her heart, washing in and out like a bass thumping tidal wave. "Me?"_

_ "You're the only one I want. I'm sayin' _someday_." He assured. "Not rushin' you."_

_ "Joey, you- you can't-" She stammered out a denial, even though she didn't know why. "I didn't mean to freak out so bad, I just-"_

_ "You just don't wanna lose me. I don't wanna lose you. I'm not goin' anywhere." He cupped her cheek, pulling her forward slightly. "So maybe someday you'd like to make it official?"_

_ "There's so many things to work out." Dawn murmured, even as she nodded, slipping further into his touch._

_ "I know."_

_ "It might not be for awhile."_

_ "Know that, too."_

_ "Is this a- a permanent offer?"_

_ "Set in stone. No, set in titanium." He winked._

_ Dawn slid from her seatbelt and into his arms. "Consider my answer a rock solid yes. Just- as soon as we work everything out, I mean-" She laughed and shook her head. "Who am I kidding? Yes. Yes, yes, yes, a set in stone, titanium yes."_

_Sunday afternoon..._

_ Joey, in his crisp at-home game uniform, led Dawn through the field's car park to a smiling middle aged couple, a tall, slightly stooping man with his am around a shorter, determined looking woman with Joey's soft, curling brown hair. "Mum. Dad. Dawn Summers. Future mother of your grandchildren." He tacked on boldly. _

_ "Joey!" Dawn and Joey's mother let out a unified gasp that was a mixture of blushing shock and surprise. _

_ Mr. Brooke smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "Hm. Seem to get on all right already." _

_ "Even tell me off the same." Joey winked. _

_ Dawn and his mother exchanged a bemused, exasperated glance and eye roll. "He's incorrigible." Mrs. Brooke said with fond sternness, smile twitching the corners of set lips. "Always."_

_ "I like that about him." Dawn smiled softly. _

_ Mrs. Brooke's smile widened. She thumped Joey hard on the arm and tugged Dawn away towards the bleachers. "You picked a nice one, Joseph. Someone who can put up with you!" she tucked her arm through Dawn's. "Now, Dawn- Joey tells me your father is English?"_

_ "Uh...Yeah. He's married to Vance." Dawn decided explaining her relationship to Giles was not needed- not right now. She was still reeling from the "future mother of your grandchildren" remark. _

_ "Oh, that's right! Joey showed me pictures, that was a stunning wedding."_

_ "I helped design the decorations." Dawn relaxed considerably, as she loved talking about that event, a fairytale wedding for two people who really deserved a happy ending. _

_ "Really?" Mrs. Brooke hung on every word as Dawn began to eagerly elaborate._

_ Joey and his father watched the women walk off through the light drizzle, conversing rapidly. "You can breathe now, Son."_

_ " Ta, Dad." Joey laughed and sagged slightly as his chest deflated._

_ "So. That's the girl?"_

_ "That's the girl."_

_ "Pretty."_

_ "I know."_

_ "Kids'll be tall."_

_ "Prolly. In a bit. Haven't officially popped the question yet. But I will. I will, Dad." Joey told him gravely as they trotted through the other spectators who'd begun to arrive._

_ "Fine. Fine. I like her. Good choice." His father nodded absently into the rain and ambled off after his wife._

_ Joey sighed and grinned at his retreating father. "Always could count on you, Dad." He whispered softly. "Now, for the other ones..."_

**Families**

_"D'you wanna tell them, Beautiful?" Joey handed Dawn her bathrobe as they slowly stepped from his stall shower, bodies hot from steam and exertion._

_ "No. No- I'll tell them we're talking about it, that's all." Dawn took her robe and walked to the kitchen with easy grace, as if she owned the small flat. She might as well have. She'd been living there, with Joey, off an on since her college graduation, while she finished a few final months of training at the Watcher's Academy._

_ "You know it won't matter." Joey came up behind her, arms around her narrow waist, head atop hers as she made their coffee. "Wherever they assign you- don't matter to me."_

_ "What if they tell me to go work in- I don't know- Zaire? Or Fiji! Slayers are everywhere." Dawn said grimly._

_ "People have babies everywhere, too." Joey assured. "Main thing is- you're gonna be in my family. You promised me months ago. I remember. Think I circled it on the calendar an' all." He teased playfully as she spun away from him._

_ "But what if they _do_ approve you for official Alliance Medic, you quit your job, leave England, you move over to Pine Ridge and join Vee in her clinic, and - I get sent to- I don't know, Bombay?"_

_ "Then I'll chuck the Alliance offer and move to Bombay, Angel Face. They do bloody good curries and have a high birthrate. I'll be in heaven. More importantly. I'll be with _you_. We won't know the details 'til we know the details." He caught her and put her on the edge of the counter, so her sparkling eyes and wide grin loomed pleasantly over him._

_ "You're way too wise and laid back." Dawn laughed and kissed his forehead as she sighed. "You're right. You're totally right. And when Spike and I have our weekly video chat, I will tell him that as soon as we get the word- we'll make it official."_

_ Joey took her hand. "Hope you don't expect a ring the size of Buffy's rock." He kissed her knuckles and looked into her eyes, his warm brown velvet ones melting her._

_ "No way. Anything from you. Just as long as it means we'll be a family." Dawn grinned softly. _

_ "We will be, whatever we have to do to make it work, we will be." Joey swore. "Mr. and Mrs. With a couple _normal _children." He poked fun at her beloved niece and nephew. _

_ "Amen to that." Dawn giggled. Wow. Kids. Even normal ones. That was a big thought. But kids- life, marriage- anything with Joey- it was going to be great. "We'll have all that happy stuff." She slid down from the counter, into his arms, head on his shoulder as a wave of happiness in spite of life's uncertainty washed over her. "We'll have all that. Someday, anyway."_

* * *

><p><em> "Tanya Summer and William James!" Spike's bellow shook the enclosed walkway adjoining the Rosenberg-Harris dwelling and the Summers' house.<em>

_ "Uncle Spike is mad." Tanya curled up closer to her best friend. The little girl had a long, dark brown braid, Willow's eyes, Willow's rosebud mouth, and creamy skin tone._

_ "You shouldn'ta done it, should you?" William hissed, his voice an unaffected imitation of his father's. It didn't help that fully one half of his "American" family was British, if he counted "Uncle Joey" which he did._

_ "Spike, what's wrong?" Xander's called as his footsteps paced past the corner cabinet where they were hiding. _

_ Spike's voice was irate, coming closer."D'you see what your daughter did to me?"_

_ "What are you- oh my God. BUFFY! WILLS! Come see this!" Xander shouted for the two women of the households. _

_ Buffy appeared first, panting as she raced to his cry, Willow a few steps behind."What's wrong, what's- oh my God! Giles! Vance!" Buffy's voice was choked with laughter. "Oh, Baby! Baby, you're gorgeous."_

_ "I'm soddin' pink!" Spike growled._

_ "Not all of you! Just your hair." Buffy placated, laughing helplessly._

_ "It takes a real man to wear pink." Willow complimented._

_ "My hair is bloody, buggerin' Barbie doll pink, and when I find the little witch that did it..." Of course he could tell where they were, he had their scents ingrained in him so deep by now it was almost painful. Whenever either couple was asked how many children they had, both families jokingly answered "two". Tanya was his daughter, by bond if not by blood, and he knew that William was as much Xander's child to love and protect as his. It was surprising to all of them that something so deeply personal as a parent-child bond could stretch, but in this family, the more people to protect your baby, the better._

_ "Oh Honey, don't be mad at her, you know William probably dared her. Again." Buffy followed her husband to the corner cabinet._

_ "Uh-oh." William held Tanya's hand as the door burst open. _

_ "There!" Spike lifted both of them out easily, in one steel hand. "You two are in so much trouble."_

_ "Bloody hell." William gasped. His dad was _mad. _He could sense his mum's heartbeat quickening up. She was mad, too, but not as much._

_"Sorry!" Tanya squeaked. She was in trouble, and even though her daddy said her uncle was a scary monster man, she knew Spike'd never hurt her. She still didn't like being in trouble, she liked to be a good girl._

_ "William! Mouth!" Buffy gasped._

_ "You, little miss, are in a whole flippin' lot of trouble." Spike raised the miniature wicca, imbued with her mother's powers from birth (Vance's analysis said it was probably because of the extreme amount of magic Willow had performed in late pregnancy) up to his eye level, holding her in his arms._

_ "I'm sorry." Her lower lip wobbled. She was sensitive, like Willow had been as a child, and it didn't take much to make her cry._

_ "You're gonna fix me." He put his forehead to hers, blue eyes locking with her snapping grass green. He felt the small hands line up on either side of his head, and a tingle run over his scalp._

_ "Ooops." The lip wobble was more pronounced now._

_ Loud laughter followed her exclamation. Giles and Vance entered, both in aprons (they had been making curries and samosas in the Summers' kitchen) and squawked with laughter._

_ "Oh, Darling! It's lovely!" Vance approached her son-in-law with outstretched hands. "That lovely blue... it matches your eyes."_

_ "Bloody hell, mate!" _

_ "Grandpa! Mouth!" William said automatically. Buffy gave him a warning glare._

_ "She-witch Jr. did it." Spike groaned._

_ "How'd you even find out?" Buffy teased a blue lock from his head. "Without a reflection?"_

_ "If Bit hadn't wanted to video conference from Joey's flat in Manchester, I'd never have known." Spike growled. "By the way, no ring yet, but they're talkin' about it. She wants to wait and see if the Alliance approved her to stay here or needs her with another slayer. He wants to wait to see if the Alliance will take Vance's recommendation and appoint him Alliance Medic. And if they'll give him a post in America. Apparently that's a deal breaker for her." Spike repeated what Dawn'd said, not what he knew she meant. There were no "deal breakers" between Joey and Dawn. Those two would be married or at least together unless one of 'em went insane, got locked up, or died. Careers and locations be damned. Bit was too smart to sell out if love was on the line._

_ Vance spoke up with a sigh. "He'll travel like I do. I don't see the problem. I'm 'posted' in America - really Ripper, couldn't you make it sound less military?- and I go wherever they need me." She leaned over and kissed her recently wedded husband. "Home is where the heart is."_

_ "Aunt Dawn's coming home?" William, held in his mother's iron grasp, sought a distraction._

_ "One more week." Spike shook the girl in his arms with a playful smirk. " Now, Tanya, put me back to my sparklin' blonde self, or I'm gonna tickle it outta you."_

* * *

><p><em>"Mr. Robson, shouldn't we be waiting for Mr. Giles?" One of the senior Watchers asked softly, sitting in the still, stately room.<em>

_ "This applicant has requested Mr. Giles not be present at this process." Robson put down a thick file folder and faced the other head Watchers, assembled from all the continents, with North America's representative being conspicuously absent._

_ "That's very unusual." One raised her eyebrows and seemed annoyed._

_ "It's the case of Dawn Summers. She passed her final qualifying test and she's ready to be assigned a Slayer or assigned to work here with the Slayers who are under eighteen, which we used to refer to as 'potentials'." Robson passed her file around. "She's the true Slayer's sister. Forgive me, the- the _original _Slayer's sister." Robson corrected himself with a bleak smile. "She's Rupert Giles' daughter, if not legally, then emotionally."_

_ There was silence. Everyone liked Dawn. Everyone liked her family. If possible, they imagined Dawn would want to stay near her loved ones. But..._

_ "Summers has a Watcher. Giles himself." The representative from South America said softly, voicing what no one wanted to say. "Assigning her to Pine Ridge is a waste of resources."_

_ "True." Robson took the file again as it finished moving around the table. "However- Giles is getting on in years."_

_ "Steady on!" _

_ "And Buffy Summers is- as it were- almost immortal." The room fell silent. "Giles has many responsibilities as head of the Alliance, and head contact for all of the North American Watchers and Slayers. Not only that, but now he's working closely with the newly created post of Alliance Medic and apparently there are some serious, chronic issues Slayers can expect to contend with- now that they can- erm- have families." Robson's English precision helped him glide over that scenario. "I propose assigning Dawn Summers to Rupert Giles."_

_ "What?"_

_ " What do you mean?"_

_ "Explain, Robson!"_

_ A chorus of confusion broke out, and Robson handled it with a silently raised eyebrow._

_ "Assigning her to Rupert Giles will allow her to assist him in his duties at Watcher and give him more time to effectively run the Alliance. She can help establish the medical piece of the program, and assist in research. She'll take over for him with the Slayer- if- God forbid, the day comes when he can no longer do it himself."_

_ There was silence. There were many reasons to agree or disagree, running through heads. That job description sounded exactly like what Dawn had been doing for years. Hardly a fitting position, hardly a challenge, hardly the best use of a newly qualified Watcher. On the other hand- Dawn already knew what she was doing, she was already part of a team, she was the original Slayer's sister, personally trained for years by one of the strongest wiccas on record, the most experienced Watcher, a champion, and the original Slayer herself. She was a true asset. _

_ "I second the placement."_

_ "I agree." _

_ "So moved." Robson smiled and handed the file to the record keeper beside him. "Please contact Ms. Summers and inform her that she is to report to Rupert Giles, in Pine Ridge, New York as soon as possible." He cleared his throat. "Next item. Joseph Brooke. Doctor. Applying for position of Alliance Medic after completing the written and practical exam administered by Rupert Giles, Dr. Philomena Vance, and myself." Robson passed Brooke's file around. Less was known about this man, but Robson knew. And knew where he should be placed, in his opinion. "I suggest assigning him to Dr. Vance. With the teleporting orbs that Willow Rosenberg-Harris created, the medics can be anywhere in a minute's notice notice. But with only two on staff, as it were, at this point-" Robson trailed off._

_ "Best to have them in a central location, like an emergency center that comes to you." One of the Watchers put forth. _

_ "Precisely. And he's young. Dr. Vance and Mr. Giles could continue his instruction. I recommend he be assigned to Dr. P. Vance."_

_ "Seconded."_

_ "So moved."_

_ Robson suppressed a smile and passed the second file to his stenographer. "Please contact Dr. Brooke and tell him he has been awarded the position. Advise him that he'll have to leave the public sector through normal channels so as not to invite speculation. Following his successful exit of his current post, tell him to report to Dr. Vance, in Pine Ridge, New York, as soon as possible." _

_ "Very good, Sir." _

_ Robson sighed inside and tried not to look too pleased or relieved as he brought forth the next files, another slayer, another watcher, another demon hunter...They were all important, but he was more relaxed now, having dealt with something he considered of even greater import. He'd liked Joey Brooke and Dawn Summers when he'd met them more informally this past year at Giles' wedding. But he hadn't made those choices for their sake, and he did think they were the best and most suitable choices, even without his emotions involved._

_ But his emotions were involved, just a touch. Not for the bright young people he'd met. But for the older man, the patriarch and leader of a very difficult to live in family and difficult to run organization. Rupert Giles hadn't had much to enjoy until later in his life. For the first part of his career and his education- he'd been moving from one crisis to another, the same as all active Watchers, he supposed, but unlike the others, the job hadn't ended after two to three years. No, Giles had been on the front lines for about fourteen years at this point, and with most of the same people he started with. The accomplishment was unheard of._

_ A voice droned on, but Robson wasn't listening, he was focusing instead on a little voice in his head as it contemplated the strange success of the Sunnydale survivors. _Rupert loved his "kids" with all the father's love any man could have, children being biological or not, it wasn't a factor. I'm doing the right thing, assigning those two to work with him, with their family, even if it does suggest nepotism. It works for us, it works for them, and it works for the old boy. Rupert Giles deserves to do what he's always done, what's made him so successful, a legend, and all those with him a legend. Of course he should work with his family. We'll stick it to Travers, old man, all of us. We'll show him exactly what a "father's love" can do.

**Dads**

_"Which child is yours, Sir?" The lady at the front desk asked the man in the long leather coat and dark glasses. She spoke warily. It was a bright fall afternoon and this was the toddler room at the Pine Ridge Community Center. This guy was dressed like a crime lord, not a daddy._

_ "Two of 'em are mine." Spike answered, too absorbed in watching all the kiddies running every which way across the busy room to notice the woman's strained voice and doubtful eyes. "Oi, William! Tanya! Daddy's here!"_

_ There was a burst and a scuffle from the center of the foam block area. The staff in the room gasped as a pale blonde blur crossed the room at a rate they didn't think was possible. "Dad! Dad! Look what Tanya an' me made!" _

_ Spike scooped up William in one arm and held out his hand to Tanya who was coming along at a more human speed. "What'd you make then, luvvies?" Spike took off his glasses, now that he was out of the direct sunlight of the center's entryway. _

_ "We made a castle." Tanya pointed to the foam block area where several other children were still crowded around a very large, very advanced looking building. _

_ "You two did that? Some big kids help you?" Spike lifted Tanya in his other arm once she was near enough. _

_ "No. We did it! We didn't even use magic." William said proudly. _

_ "Not this time. 'Cause Mommy said not to unless she's there to anchor or there's a bad people around us. Then Daddy said to zap them." _

_ Now Spike became acutely aware of the woman at the drop off/ pick up area, and that her stare was no longer directed entirely at him or his 'strange for the time of day and year' attire. "Ha. Well," he made a gruff, nonchalant sound and hitched the kids higher onto his waist, "looks a treat. You'll have to tell your Mummy all about it." Spike began walking away as carelessly as he could._

_ "Sir?"_

Bollocks. _"What?" He asked, trying not to have an edge in his voice. Buffy was going to kill him if a little routine pick up ended with confrontations and exposure. It _would _happen the one and only time he picked up the sprogs, but Buffy's morning sickness couldn't tell time. He'd hated to leave her, could still feel her through their bond, even a few miles away, feel her vague nausea and general discomfort as their second miracle was growing. "Is there a problem?" He hoped his voice made it plain that there shouldn't be._

_ "Uh- you forgot to sign out." The lady handed him a pen with a nervous twitch. She was used to dealing with parents in a rush, everyone had to be someplace these days, but she'd never had a father actually sound like he- well, like he was growling..._

_ "Oh, sorry. There. Spike Summers for William Summers, and Spike Summers for Tanya Rosenberg-Harris. There. That's us out." He smiled, now with his most charming, disarming grin, and tried to leave again._

_ "Both of these kids are yours?" She wasn't supposed to ask. In the days of blended families and women keeping their family names, you weren't supposed to ask. But- well, the little boy was obviously this man's son. The little girl- looked nothing like him at all. It could be a step-child... _

_ Spike cocked his head. "You mine, Mini?" He left off the end of her nickname, Mini-wicca, but Tanya giggled all the same. "You mine, William?"_

_ "Yes." The two replied and laughed at the strangeness of adults. _

_ "These two are mine. Lucky man, two such great little ankle biters." He tickled them and they dug into his sides, laughing harder. _

_ The doubtful look was replaced by a hesitant smile as the woman watched Spike embrace his two children. Families were weird, she supposed, and this guy was kind of odd in comparison to most of the parents she saw. Gothic. Not too many gothic looking daddies in Pine Ridge. Or maybe anywhere."Well. Okay, we'll see you guys soon."_

_ "Not me..." Spike muttered under his breath and hurried away. "Not if I can help it."_

_ "Why are you grumbly?" Tanya asked._

_ "Hm? Oh, nothing, Mini. Sometimes people just irritate me."_

_ "What kind of people?" William asked._

_ "Idiots, mostly." Spike winced, tucked his head down, and bolted to the De Soto, pushing the kids into the back and then dashing into the front. He winced as his skin cooled down and leaned across the driver's seat to begin fastening the children in their car seats. _

_ "Are you okay, Daddy?" William asked. His father didn't like sunshine. It made his skin hurt._

_ "A-okay, William J." Spike winked and fastened the last buckle. "But I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do that when there's three of you." He sighed._

_ "Uncle Spike, mouth!" Tanya giggled. Spike gave her a look of mock horror._

_ "Oh no! Don't tell your parents, alright?"_

_ "I won't. Can we get ice cream?"_

_ "Ice cream!" William joined in the plea._

_ "No, we've got to get home, the new baby's makin' your mummy feel a bit off, an' she needs us to help make dinner." Spike ignored the chorus of whines that erupted and then subsided almost immediately. They were good kids, and close to their parents and those they considered parents._

_ "Why is the baby making her sick?"_

_ " 'Cause he's too little to know better, and he's campin' out on her tummy." Spike decided to forgo the biological factors. Knowing Willow, she'd be handing out anatomy guides any day now._

_ "Mommy says it's because of progesterone. Daddy says it's because baby slayers fight baby vampires." Tanya said matter of factly._

_ "Did they? Did they really now?" Spike punched a number in furiously on his cell phone as he drove. "Hello, Pet. No, got 'em fine. You're holdin' okay? Little one letting you keep anything down? Good. Good." Spike's voice changed from soothing to beleaguered and he dropped down into a whisper. "Yeah, look- I was wonderin'- any chance we can move before this baby arrives?"_

_ "You don't mean that." Buffy popped another handful of saltines and rolled her eyes. _

_ "Maybe, maybe not. One-Eye told Tanya your morning sickness is 'cause a baby vamp and baby slayer are duking it out in your insides."_

_ "He what?" Buffy shrieked, then giggled. "You know he's just being goofy."_

_ "I don't like it. It's not a vamp in there." Spike lowered his voice further._

_ "Oh... maybe a little." Buffy smiled. "I don't mind. He's a good one. Just like his father, and he'll be a perfect blend of champion, slayer, human, and vamp, just like his big brother."_

_ Spike felt himself soothed and he began to speak normally, listening to the little giggles and muffled laughs coming from behind him. "It might be a girl, you know." _

_ "Yeah... I- I'd kind of like a little girl." Buffy admitted softly._

_ "Dress it all frilly, wouldn't you? Lots of shoes?" Spike tried to perk his ailing bride up, a snarky smile on his face as he lured her into her fantasy._

_ " _Loads_ of shoes! Pink sparkly ones! Oooh, and little pink bows in her hair and maybe we could paint her nails."_

_ "Daddy, what're you talking about?"_

_ "Your little brother or sister. Mummy and I think it might be fun for her to have a little girl to pretty up. Be fun to have another little girl about, wouldn't it, Tanya?"_

_ She nodded eagerly and bounced in her car seat, looking at William._

_ William considered this and looked at Tanya. Already his best friend, his partner in crime. Girls were alright. "Okay. Guess a little sister'd be good."_

* * *

><p>"Lizzikins! Let's go, we've gotta pick Sul up from band practice!" Jim wrangled his bouncing daughter into her small pink sneakers. "C'mon, your big brother is going to be starving when he get him and a hungry teen is a grouchy teen."<p>

Lizzie giggled and let her father catch hold of her and submitted to having her shoes tied.

Jim straightened up and released her, then smiled up at Anita, their housekeeper-friend-Gal Friday. "Thanks for watching her today, I know it's not in the job description, but-"

"When I was pregnant- I didn't get out of bed for three months. I don't mind if Miss Essie has a day to rest." Anita waved off James' gratitude. "Besides, she's easy to watch."

"What, this little troublemaker?" Jim teased his daughter, sandy blonde curls in a floppy ponytail, bright eyes sparkling at him above a miniature version of Ess's smile. "You must be thinking of some other little girl."

"Nu-uh!" Lizzie laughed and bounced away from his side. "I was good today. I made Mommy a get well card." Lizzie held up her artwork after snagging it from the kitchen counter.

"That's- beautiful, Sweetie." Jim said with as much conviction as he could muster. Three year old artwork was abundant and colorful- and sometimes completely mystifying. "Tell me about it?" That was safer than saying, "What is that?"

She pointed as she explained. "That's Mommy. And all the green stuff is throw up. And this says get well soon."

Jimmy bit back a smile. "She'll love it, Sweetie. It's beautiful, really pretty. Anita, is Essie asleep?"

"She was. Finally." Anita held up an empty bottle of Perrier and a wedge of fresh ginger. "Ginger water. Works every time."

"I wish we'd known that with the last little bundle of joy." Jim tickled his daughter as he hoisted her up. "I'll see her when we get back, better her let her rest while she can."

In about an hour Jim, who had a voice script to learn, a tall, lanky Sul with a battered guitar case covered in a hundred band logo stickers and pasted on concert ticket stubs, and a half asleep Lizzie arrived home. But Essie was still asleep.

"Dad, don't wake her up." Sully grabbed his dad by the elbow as they passed by the living room couch where his stepmother was currently sprawled, another Perrier bottle with a chunk of ginger at the bottom and a plate of dry toast by her head.

"I'll make grilled cheese, you watch the kiddo?" Jim asked.

Sul looked at him pleadingly and then his stomach let out a huge growl.

"Right." He amended. "The growing hungry man makes dinner, _I'll _watch the kiddo. C'mere, Lizard, what do you want Daddy to do? Make it something quick, because it's dinner, then bed, little lady."

"Read to me!" Lizzie shouted and bounced away. Essie snorted in her sleep and Jim looked heavenward.

"Was I ever that noisy?" Sul asked as he and his father shared a wince and a sigh of relief when Essie settled back to sleep.

"You play the guitar every second of Sunday morning, starting at six or seven. Oh- and you jumped down half a flight of stairs screaming 'I do my own stunts, too, Dad!' Remember? That was loud. Very loud. Essie screaming 'Sul, NO!' was pretty loud, too." Jimmy murmured as they parted ways in the kitchen.

"Oh. Yeah. I did do that." Sul blushed. "But I was like- six, Dad." He hissed.

"You were like- _eight_, Dude. Just don't teach her to do 'stunts'." He punched his son's arm and they walked off to their separate tasks, Jim to the toddler's bedroom, and Sul to the fridge and stove.

"Here we go, Munchkin." Jim entered the green and white bedroom with pink accents and a hundred stuffed toys and a thousand colorful books, all proof of Jim's and Ess's families' affection, plus their doting adopted family's attentions, those who had almost literally watched her come into the world, and who would probably do the same thing in a few months for her little brother.

"I picked a book." Lizzie held up a book of fairy tales. "Can I wear my princess dress?"

"No, but you can put on your princess pjs, kiddo. Then listen to Daddy."

"Do the voices?"

"Always do."

* * *

><p>"<em>I never get to pick the soddin' bedtime stories." Spike grumbled teasingly as he entered William's room, holding Tanya's hand as William raced ahead. <em>

_ "You can pick one." Tanya offered easily with her natural affection and consideration._

_ "Hey! Princess." Xander crept in the room, jacket buttoned up and bulging with weaponry, his red headed wife at his side, usual flowing skirt replaced with her patrolling wear, her jeans and denim coat. "Be good for Uncle Monster, okay?"_

_ "Xander." Willow kicked his shin lightly and then kissed each child on the head. "Love you both. Be good. Tanya, make sure you go potty before you get into bed."_

_ "I will." Tanya said absently and began raiding the bookcase with William. _

_ "She was rubbing her ear today and she felt a little warm." Xander murmured softly as they stood at the doorway of the bedroom. It was William's room technically, but it had two beds in it these days, as it had once held two cribs. Tanya's room was the same. With both families patrolling, and usually only having one adult on childcare duty over night, it made sense. "I gave her Tylenol."_

_ "You did? I gave her goldenseal oil." Willow looked alarmed. _

_ "Could that be bad?" Xander asked nervously._

_ "It'll be fine. I'll call Vance if she starts to glow or somethin'." Spike said with a shrug. _

_ "Vance'll be with us, since Buffy's on light duty." Xander still spoke in a hush. That was the reason for his softer tone, no one wanted to wake the sleeping Slayer who found pregnancy so draining as her system rebelled against the intrusion of a foreign object and an influx of demon genetic material from Spike._

_ "Well, then I'll call Joey. Bugger the time difference." Spike frowned slightly and sighed, "Besides, Dawn's over in Manchester for one of her flyin' visits. She'll have the boy up and awake."_

_ "He gave notice already, I know he has to stay there for a little longer, but just think, in a few more weeks, he'll be here!" Willow squeaked._

_ "Shhh!" Spike and Xander hushed her simultaneously. Willow cast an anxious look down the hall, but Buffy's door remained shut and silent._

_ "Yeah... And Dawn'll be movin' out." Spike looked mutinous. _

_ "Not right away..." Willow patted his arm awkwardly._

_ "No, no. Only at the speed of light." Xander muttered and laughed softly when Spike's scowl practically took the hide off of him. _

_ "No worries tonight at any rate. With two kids in the house- well, three, might as well say, we could do with the room. In another year or so, she'll be a married woman. No worries." He repeated in a falsely hearty voice that was losing its heartiness by the syllable. "She'll be close. We'll always be close." Spike said more to himself than the others._

_ Xander lost his jocularity and Willow reached for the pale blonde again, something she'd never have imagined doing years ago. "Dude, we've got kids now. You've got a wife! You're never going to be alone. When you have a family, you're suddenly someone important, and you have this whole little world." Xander's single eye lit up as he watched Tanya and William arguing over piles of books. "Even if you were the biggest loser in the world..." He trailed off. It was a testament to the unspoken, maybe unwanted bonds of friendship that Spike and Xander had formed that Spike remained silent and didn't tell the brunette he was projecting too much. Or make a crack about him being a loser._

_ "You're right." Spike murmured. "When you've got your family, you're not empty inside."_

_ " Dawn'll still be around. She's still your family- our family." Xander shook himself back to the conversation._

_ "She's looking at the old complex, guys. I think she told me there was a place in Spruce Court. C'mon, before we all do the heavy weepy thing." Willow pushed at each of their shoulders. "We'll get to visit the old stomping grounds and -and go to her first dinner parties- and ooh, a housewarming party!" Her green eyes practically glowed. _

_ "Oh no. The primal interior decorating urge has been awakened. A little battlefield brawl oughta cure that." Xander tugged Willow from the room. "Be good for Spike!" He called to the kids once more, and they disappeared down the stairs._

_ Spike rolled his eyes and lurched into the rocker in the corner of the room. Oddest thing in the world, he thought for the thousandth time, that the big bad should turn into a family man like a duck taking to water. All for love. "Alright, kiddies. Bring one book an' pull up a knee. We're readin' then we're sleepin'."_

_ Tanya and William turned their most wide eyed innocent little faces to him. "Oh, bloody... alright, two books, but that's it!"_

* * *

><p>"One more? Pleeeeese, Daddy?"<p>

"You've read, you've eaten, you've brushed, and now you're going to sleep, Precious."

"But Mommy didn't tuck me in."

"She'll say goodnight when she wakes up, Lizzie."

"Ohhh."

"Ohhhhhhhh." Jim out whined her, but no one was a match for that pout. Essie's pout, on his little girl's face. " Just this once. Something short."

"Thank you!"

He pulled out the book of fairy tales he'd been reading earlier and looked for something quick. "Here we go."

"Does it have a princess in it?"

"Yes, it does." Jim scanned through as he answered. "Ready? 'Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who was loved by everyone in the kingdom'." He winked at his child as she perched up on her pillows now. "Just like you." She giggled, and he smiled and kept reading.

* * *

><p><em> Buffy walked down the hall on stealthy feet, lulled by the sound of the rhythmic rise and fall of a much loved voice, Spike reading to their son. Oh, and Tanya, Buffy recalled the patrolling schedule would have put her "niece" in their care for the night. <em>

_ " 'The maiden waited and prayed everyday she was kept in the tower and'- sod that. She waited until the old witch brought her supper one night and grabbed the tray, then smacked her right in the face! The old harpy went down, broken nose, front teeth knocked out-"_

_ "Yeah!" William enthused._

_ "Witches aren't bad! Mommy's not bad. She said most witches are good." Tanya sounded tremulous._

_ "You're right! It was a wicked shapeshifter who'd dressed up as the old witch. When the maiden hit him with the tray, he turned into a big ugly toad."_

_ "Then what happened?" William asked eagerly._

_ "She grabbed the toad an' chucked him out the window. He fell all the way down and went splat! Toad guts all over the place."_

_ "Cool." Both kids leaned forward eagerly._

_ "Then she searched the tower an' found the old witch tied up in the cupboard an' freed her."_

_ "This is such a good story."_

_ "Uncle Spike- that's not what the book says." Tanya, even though she was only three, was already reading, and as she glanced at the page she could see there was no mention of shapeshifters or toads._

_ "Hush, Mini, or I'm not gonna tell you what happened to that prince that was riding the thousand leagues to save the girl."_

_ Buffy peeped around the corner and tried not to melt completely at the sight of her husband cradling both children on his black jean clad knees. The book was closed now, and he was making up things as he went along. _

_ "What happened to the prince?" _

_ "Well- he was gonna go save the girl. But turns out, she didn't need rescuin'. 'Cause she was tough. She could look out for herself, didn't need anyone to make her weak." Spike's voice drifted slightly into a faraway register. _

_ "Then why is he in the story?" Tanya asked reasonably._

_ "Because even though she didn't need someone to rescue her, she still needed someone to love." Buffy walked through the doorway._

_ "Mum!" William was scrambling into her arms in a second._

_ "Luv, did we wake you?"_

_ "Nope. I just magically wake up when there're happy endings about to happen and you're involved." Buffy put her arms around her son, then Tanya, then Spike's neck. "So. Go on. This prince dude. Did he have a sunlight allergy?" She suggested._

_ "Why yes, come to think of it, he did. Which was fine, because this girl was secretly the queen of the night folk, making the shadows safe for all her fair citizens."_

_ "Mmm, I like this story." Buffy kissed his cheek as they locked eyes, him craning his head up and her looking down. _

_ "Your dad is making all of this up." Tanya whispered to William._

_ "I know. But it's good, init?"_

_ Tanya considered. "It'd be better with some pictures."_

* * *

><p>"I can't see the pictures." Lizzie said for the fifth time. Jim turned the book again. "Oh. He looks scary." Lizzie pointed to the wizened beast in the corner of the illustration.<p>

Jim considered the artwork. "He does."

"I don't like the scary parts."

"Just because someone looks scary, doesn't mean they're scary inside." The actor put the book down and perched over her.

"Then why do they look scary?"

"So you have to look closer, get to them, to see the heart." He smiled crookedly, a million dabs of make up and fitted fangs ago, he'd been the monster in the corner. He never wanted his kids to think all the plastic world of stage and screen was real.

"But the monster was acting mean, Daddy. So he has a scary heart."

Jim paused. Dammit. Why did they have to have such smart kids? Okay, no, smart was good. Why'd they have to ask the hard to explain things right before bed though?

"A heart can change." Ess was moving awkwardly towards them, dark circles under her eyes, and a little paler than normal, her baby bump obvious even in her loose fitting sweats and tee shirt.

"Mommy!"

"Hey munchkin. I saw your brother downstairs. He tried to forcibly put me back on the couch." She laughed and embraced both occupants of the pink ruffled bed. "So- what story were we reading?"

"We got sidetracked. You go lay down, be right there." Jim urged.

"No, I'm good. Man, I crashed." Ess laughed weakly and cleared a space for herself on the bed. "Baby baking takes it out of you. Max is going to be a handful." She winked and tickled her daughter. "Like you!"

"Stop! Stop!" Lizzie laughed and flailed.

"You rile her up, you tire her out." Her husband reminded pointedly.

"Being calm now." Ess stopped and sat primly on the bed. "So- what's this about monster hearts?"

"If someone looks scary doesn't mean they are. The inside, the heart, is what a person is really all about." Jim said with a meaningful gaze.

"Oh. _Ohh._ Right."

"But if they act bad, then they are scary." Lizzie argued.

"Well..." Again he trailed and his wife stepped in.

"But a heart can change. People who were bad or scary might really have a good heart and don't know how to show it. They might see themselves as bad- but people can change."

"Mhmm. Okay." Lizzie snuggled down and watched her parents, sudden sleepiness enveloping her.

"Or maybe- maybe this monster and this princess are just acting it out. They get written a certain way by the author, you know." Essie continued.

"Huh?" Lizzie blinked sluggishly.

"It's a book. It's just a script with pictures." Jimmy caught on.

"Yeah. So- this monster and this princess? After work, they take off the monster suit and the stupid fluffy princess dress and they go-"

"Have ice cream." Jim gave his wife and best friend a wicked smile with soft edges.

"Ice cream. And pizza." She reached over and too his hand, thinking back, years ago to the day a pair of wrecked actors drowned their sorrows and fears in a pint of chocolate ice cream and crashed on a couch. "She asked him to sleep over-"

"And he did. He asked her to be his best friend-

"-which she already was." His partner moved closer to him. "She said she loved him..."

"He had already fallen for her..." Jim reached a tender hand to cup her cheek.

"Oh, wow guys. Making out during bedtimes stories." Sul leaned in the doorway, pre-algebra book in his hand. "But apparently it worked, Lizard is out cold." Sully laughed as Jim and Essie started up guiltily. They hadn't even realized their little one had dozed off.

"Did you need help with the math?" Jim asked with a sigh and pecked Sarah once on the lips.

"Sure. But I can wait until the story is done- as long as there's not too much more kissing." Sul smiled and began to back away. "Seriously- I can wait, I'll go back downstairs."

"No, no. We'll help. I think I could finally eat something besides saltines." Ess pulled herself to the edge of the bed

"And it might take both of us if there's any of that fractional inverse operation stuff." Jim helped her up and put his arm around her.

"Thanks." Sul grinned at them both. "Cool story. Yours?"

Essie answered with a smile to her husband. "Yep. All ours. At least the beginning."

"Not what you'd think for a couple of big shot actors, right?" Jim ruffled his son's hair. They weren't exactly big time any more, but back then they had been, they'd been in the fishbowl the whole time. Still pulled it off.

"I dunno." Sul shrugged. "I think it sounds nice. For two real people."

"That was all I wanted. A real life with you guys." Essie whispered, recalling all the conversations they'd had about that, about what they'd trade, fame, fortune, lifestyle- if they could just have one sloppy slice of reality together.

"So it's a cool story." Sul watched his father's shoulders rise like some weight was lifted from them, saw his stepmother's pallid face contract in a glowing smile and she was radiant again.

"Yeah..." Essie said with a soppy giggle, making goo goo eyes at Jim which in turn got her a very smugly happy smirk.

"Yeah." Jim agreed. "Someone ought to write this down."


	23. Chapter 23

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, Inazea, and Cosmiclove_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXIII

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII Starting Over)

**Families**

"You're sure about this?" Max looked from his plate with startled eyes. "Because really- you're dooming the kid to a lifetime of being a complete goofball."

"What does 'doom' mean?" Lizzie tugged on her uncle's arm.

"It means he's stuck with it whether he likes it or not. Like, uh," Max paused and thought, muttering, "example, example, oh- you are doomed to being insanely cute. Nothing you can do about it." Max tousled her curly hair.

"Well, it's either you or Patrick who gets the honors." Ess pushed herself back from the table with difficulty. Jim automatically got to his feet to help her and gave Sul a nod. Wordlessly he moved aside so she could pass.

"Oh great, let's make fun of the hippo woman!" She cried. "You don't have to move the chairs around for me because I'm suddenly like a beached whale in a maternity dress!"

"Essie!" Jim looked surprised.

"Sorry, Mom." Sul said.

Her eyes immediately misted. Her stepson, her first child, really, he had been her little boy almost at once, even though she hadn't been there for the first six years of his life. He called her mom. He sometimes did. But it struck a note in her heart and made her ashamed of her outburst. "Oh. Oh, you're both so good to me. 'Scuse me!" She abruptly turned and went out into the exercise room off of the kitchen.

"The ninth month is always the longest." Jim rolled his eyes and hustled after her, calling, "Ess, sweetie..."

"Uh... we should probably do the dishes and find you mother something chocolatey for dessert." Max suggested.

"Why don't you want her to name the baby Max?" Sully asked, freeing Lizzie from her booster seat.

"I don't mind, it's just- whoa. Heavy."

"Well, you're the uncle. You're supposed to get a namesake. And if you don't, Patrick will. But he already has two kids and one of them might name their kids after him." Sul pointed out.

"Are you ever gonna have kids?" Lizzie wound herself around his leg and sat, going for a ride as he walked.

Max playfully tried to shake her off. "Why would I do that, when I have this little monkey?" She squealed and clung.

"It's not like you become doubly uncled up or something." Sul started shoving dishes in the dishwasher and shooed Mist and Stripes off the counter as they jumped up to investigate the possibility of scraps. "You're already an uncle."

"You still have to like me the best!" Lizzie cried suddenly.

"I like you both the best." Max wasn't getting into the war.

"I'm the favoritest girl."

"You're the only girl, Lizard." Sul poked her.

"And will be for awhile, unless your Aunty Ashley gets the baby makin' magic happening with-"

"MAX!" Essie threw a wad of cried upon tissue at him. "You're seriously making me rethink your suitability for favorite uncle!"

"How about irresponsible, yet loving uncle?" Max held out one arm. "Your two oldest just talked me into being honored, don't take it away."

"We won't." She leaned against him and kissed his goateed chin.

"Oh, uh, just so we're clear on what that honor entails-" Jimmy put an arm around Max's shoulders and spoke in a playful conspiratorial whisper, "you watch the kids while we're at the hospital."

"What? By myself?" The broad shouldered brunette looked mildly panicked.

"Don't worry, Sully'll be here to keep an eye on you." Essie winked and patted his back. "Actually- you'd better practice now. I suddenly have a craving for milk duds. Babe?"

"I'll get the car."

"Owned." Max hissed.

"MAXWELL!" Sarah turned, thunderbolts in her eyes.

"First rule of a happy, healthy pregnancy? Don't piss off the pregnant lady." Jimmy laughed and fled to the garage.

"Uh oh. Showdown. C'mon Lizard, pajamas." Sul herded Lizzie away from Nick's leg.

"But I wanna see!"

"_Now_, Lizard." Sul set her on his hip with a grunt and left the kitchen. He turned to Max and gave him a mock salute. "Nice knowing you."

"Nice knowing you." Lizzie echoed and laughed because her daddy had laughed.

The two long time friends faced off in the kitchen. "Um. Can I start off by saying that my foot has the unfortunate condition of liking to hang out in my mouth?" He backed away as the petite pregnant blonde swayed- albeit in a more waddling and less sashaying way- up to him. "How about if I say it with flowers? And maybe Godiva?"

She grabbed his ear and pulled him to eye level. Her menacing glare dropped, it had only ever been a playful contrivance anyway. "You miss the gang. You miss her." She referred to the recent ex.

"Like a hole in the-"

"_Max_." Sarah looked at him hard.

"Yeah." He looked at his hand. The white line of his wedding ring was finally faded into the same tan as the rest of his skin. Never even know it had been there. Five years meant nothing. Five years gone because he was suddenly "not right" for her. When had that happened? Had he even been aware of it happening? Should he have been, were there signs that he'd missed while he thought they were just hitting rough spots, that they could fix it all? "I miss her. I miss hanging out with everyone."

"So you decide to turn into the world's biggest idiot and push us away, too?" Essie asked.

"I'm not pushing you away! I'm just joking around!"

"Then stop. Stop joking about this. We all went our separate ways a little bit, but we come back together because it wasn't just work, it was more than a show. We love each other, come on."

"You don't need me to intrude in your family."

"Who's an intrusion? You're vital."

"Ess, sweetie, that was on the show. I'm no one's 'vital'. Heck, even then, I was always the supporting role." He laughed with an edge of bitterness for a failed marriage and a career that was plateauing.

"Yeah, well, support is everything in life." She poked a forefinger sharply between his brows.

"Hey!"

"Wake up! Get your head out of your ass and back into this world where we are." She yanked his hand down to her swollen abdomen where a flurry of fluttering kicks made both their eyes widen. "Every kid needs someone like you- fun and wacky, a big kid in a grown up suit." His smile wavered back to life, uncertainly. "Everyone needs someone like you, Max. Another adult they can hang with, but who still really, really cares about them. Puts them first."

He looked at her seriously. "You know sometimes I screw up."

"So do I. So did Jim." She replied, equally somber.

"Giving a kid my name makes me- makes me suddenly feel like I can't afford to just think about myself anymore." He winced.

"I thought Sul made you think that way."

"Well, yeah-"

"And Lizzie?"

"Of course, but-"

"I don't have a brother. On that set- you became Buffy's best friend-slash-big brother, and mine too. You're real family, not just a 'close friend' anymore, and you're in whether you like it or not. Grown up or not. People loving you isn't going to stop."

The shaky smile was back, broader this time, and rapidly solidifying. "I don't know why I've been acting weirded out lately. Too much booze, not enough brains."

"You were hurting. I get it. Why do you think we keep making you come over a minimum of once per week? It ain't about the free babysitting." She joked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

He nodded and stepped back with a final squeeze at her ribs. "I've got siblings, hell, I've got an identical twin, and you don't get closer than that."

"I know."

"All the same, you guys have made all of us do the 'family' thing."

"I don't think genes have to be the big deal everyone says." The petite but pregnant blonde laughed ruefully. "If I was like that, I wouldn't love being a stepmom so much."

"You're totally his real mom. Just the second edition."

"Thanks. I think." She frowned.

"I had a point I was getting to." He shook his head, shaggy brown hair brushing past his eyes once.

"Thank God one of us does."

"Okay. Point. Thank you for making me an uncle again. Now go get your milk duds before your hubby leaves without you."

"Jimmy? Risk the wrath of the pregnant lady? Never."

* * *

><p><em>"Move it, pregnant lady with a craving!" Buffy wriggled past a crowd in front of the soft pretzel stand. <em>

_ "You're loving this way too much. I think you've mentioned the fact that you're pregnant once every five minutes for the last- um I dunno, seven months?" Dawn sighed._

_ "I know! Am I being obnoxious?" Buffy asked with a sudden uncertain look._

_ "No. Not really. A little."_

_ "I'm sorry, I can't help it." She turned to the counter clerk and gave her order. "Yeah, three mega pretzels with the nacho cheese dip and a side of cinnamon cream cheese, please." She turned back to Dawn. "But, this time it doesn't have to be such a major secret and I can actually leave the house! Plus, I know she's okay."_

_ "I forbid you to eat that." Dawn seemed stuck on Buffy's order._

_ "Huh? Hey, it's got dairy. Dairy is essential, calcium and - and other milky things." Buffy protectively hugged her basket to her chest as the clerk handed it to her._

_ "It's good you're hard to kill. That stuff might be fatal- oh, eeeww! Don't put them togeth- oh, barf." Dawn winced as Buffy made a cinnamon cream cheese-nacho cheese paste for her pretzel._

_ "Mmmm. It's delicious, I'll let you have a bite..." Buffy wheedled with a malicious smile._

_ "No. Mega no. I think it might piss Joey off if I died two days before he got here."_

_ Buffy's face clouded. "I'm going to miss having you in the house."_

_ "Now that's proof of an impending apocalypse." Dawn muttered._

_ "Hey! Impending doom rule!"_

_ "Sorry, sorry. I take it back, Powers and God and everyone else listening in. Although, seriously, Buffy- you are gonna give Giles a heart attack with your 'Look at the hot mama' routine."_

_ "No, I'm not!"_

_ "You are!"_

_ "But I- I'm careful. And it's not like the baby hunting bastards are going to come after this baby more than William." She dropped her voice to a hiss. "And it's not like I'm tipping off the rest of the world that suddenly slayers are all nesting. So far it's me and Vi, and that's it. No one else in the slay game is ready for it, and I don't blame them. I couldn't do it without you guys."_

_ "Not only that, but almost none of them have the long term relationship status. Pretty hard to find Mr. Right when you're Ms. Secrets That'll Get You Killed. Even with the help they have now. Not to mention the death rates is still kinda- yeah. People still die. Even with everything we changed." Dawn's voice got soft and vacant sounding. People still hunted her sister and her son. Her whole family. When they realized Tanya's powers, they'd come after her with a ferocity that made their interest in William look like a passing glance. "No matter how careful we all are..."_

_ "I know." Buffy stopped eating and rested a hand on her stomach. "I'll stop being preggo poster girl, okay? In a month, it won't even be an issue."_

_ "I know it's not fair, but could you just tone it down a little?"_

_ "Just a little. Ooooh! I love that!" Buffy abruptly turned into a maternity wear store and tugged Dawn with her. "I'll be way more discreet. But no one is stopping us from having one more sisters' night out at the mall. Before you turn into Mrs. Dawn Brooke." Buffy laced their arms affectionately together. "It's pretty."_

_ "I think I might hyphenate. I'm not sure. I have a few more months to figure it out anyway."_

_ "It's going to go by so fast." Buffy suddenly swiped at her eyes. "You know Spike is going to be like a complete and total pain in the butt for the next year, right? Because his 'Little Bit' is leaving the nest, and then when you two are over in your own little place, and then- when you're actually married." Her voice drifted off, inner eyes seeing a future unfolding, all in the space of a few months._

_ "He won't even notice. There'll be a new little girl for him to fuss over." Dawn rolled her eyes._

_ "No." Buffy took her sister's elbow firmly and made her stop walking through the store. "You were never just some little girl to him. You were someone he loved and wanted to protect. You know- I think you were his first truly unselfish thing."_

_ "No, Buffy, I-"_

_ "Oh he liked Mom, and he loved me. In a sick and scary way at first. But he wanted me to love him back. Mom reminded him of his mom, and he wanted to stay on her good side. But _you_, you he just liked because he liked you."_

_ "He saw who I was, not what I was." Dawn gave her a crooked smile. "Badass, not quite good. But wanting to be okay with what I did in my life. Like him. Two not exactly bad apples. Not like Ms. Perfection." She ribbed her sister, trying not to get all choked up._

_ Buffy didn't smile back, exactly. Her mouth made an attempt, but just formed a wobbly line. "I think a lot of the good he did, wasn't just for me. I know you think that. He thinks it, too. That when I came back, he didn't see you anymore, he only looked at me, because we were- uh- yeah. Involved. But I think everything he did for me, he did for us, y'know, both of us. No little girl is ever going to replace his Dawn."_

_ She considered, humbled by hearing her sister give her so much credit in the transformation "I was never his little girl."_

_ "So you can't be replaced. You were his friend. Still are."_

_ "His best one. Besides you. But you're kind of a drag. Your taste in music? We despair of you." Dawn put on her best "Watcher" voice._

_ "Just for that- we're listening to my Best of the Nineties Soft Rock cd on the way home." Buffy turned from the store's interior and made for the entrance._

_ "That's against the Geneva Convention!" Dawn cried. "Plus- hey, cute mommy-to-be clothes!"_

_ "Don't try to delay your sentence." Buffy urged her forward._

_ "Hey, hey, not superhuman here." Dawn winced as Buffy's fingers indented her arm. "I thought we were doing sibling bonding."_

_ "You're moving five minutes away. You'll be over all the time. You'll have a new niece to spoil and a big nephew and niece to MEGA spoil so they don't get jealous. Besides Dawnie, I'm not your only sibling." Buffy let go of Dawn's arm and left the store. With a muted smile, her sister followed._

* * *

><p><em> "Bit. You're home early. Thought you an' Buffy wouldn't be back 'til the credit cards melted." Spike kissed her forehead as Dawn wordlessly slipped up beside him as he reclined in the dim basement, a football match on the television, a beer on one arm rest and a mug of something dark and crimson on the other.<em>

_ "That was the original plan." Dawn sank to the floor and sat cross legged in front of him._

_ "Ah. What happened?"_

_ "Buffy got tired. Pregnancy wipe out. She's napping." Dawn fabricated - partially. _

_ Spike felt around for his wife through their bond. She was drowsy, not quite asleep yet, but peaceful. " Of course. Even with all Vance does, all we learned from the first go round, it's still a Summers. It's gonna wear out anyone. I'll check on her in a minute. Just want to see what happens here." He nodded towards the screen. "If Chelsea wins, Man U is gonna have a hell of a time getting that last league spot."_

_ Dawn thought about telling Spike she knew about it already, that Joey was somewhere, in his flat, or in the pub with his buddies, maybe even on his last ever shift at the hospital in Manchester, but he'd be thinking about the same thing, mentally cursing out every point Chelsea scored. But she didn't. Not everything was about something new, someone new. "What's the score?" She leaned her head back on his knees and his hand instantly went to her hair, the occasional petting he sometimes unconsciously gave into, when his "Big Bad" side was distracted._

_ "Two to three, but Chelsea just got a penalty shot."_

_ "Damn." _

_ "Bloody right." Spike's eyes were glued to the screen, his hand resting on her head. He felt her warm back against his never quite warm legs. "You must have a thousand things to do before this weekend. Packin' an' all." Spike murmured softly as she settled more comfortably against him._

_ "This is number one on my list." She didn't look at him. Her eyes were riveted as the player sent the ball soaring towards the net, but failed to score. _

_ Their twin cries of "Yessss!" blurred with sounds from a thousand fans projecting from the set. Spike leaned back and relaxed with a contented sigh. Dawn did the same, her hand sneaking up to his can. "Oi. Get your own." He snatched at it, but let her take it, drain a few swallows before passing it back. Dawn gave him a pursed lip grin and he rolled his eyes. They both knew he could've stopped her taking it in a blink. It was just one of their things. A constant little nip and nag at each other, a constant love that had many ups and downs, from the worship of a teenage crush to the disappointment of a failed hero. From the unequal give and take of a protector to the weak, to the honor of being allies on the same field. From a forbidden friendship to living in the same home, bearing the same name, proudly, and vocally, related. Their relationship was about to change yet again. _

_ Spike cleared his throat once."You must be busy, Luv. So much to do. All that's going on..." His voice was faint but his hands had become heavy, one on her hair, the other around her hand as it handed back the drink._

_ "I'm never too busy for you, Big Bad Brother." Dawn's playful wink and smirk didn't match the whisper she spoke with._

_ Spike swallowed. "Alright then." Dawn turned and settled against his knee yet again. He sank back once more, the sigh coming from his empty chest deeper and more contented. _

Everything might change. But not this. Always an' forever gonna be my Little Sis.

**Fathers**

_ "Is everyone ready? The coordination must be exact, the timing precise. This is a big task, with many parts." Giles looked gravely at his family. Seven heads nodded back with the same sobriety. In Willow's hand, a pen clicked, on Vance's lap a sheet of paper appeared. Buffy shifted her infant daughter and leaned forward._

_ "We're ready." Xander leaned forward, eye intent._

_ "Here we go." Giles turned to the white board that was present in his living room/ research nerve center and nodded to Dawn who took a deep breath and began._

_ "Okay, Joey and I will be on airport duty tomorrow. Cheryl's flight arrives from New Zealand at 11:00 AM and his parents and grandparents arrive at 2:00 PM. Owing to possible delays, and the fact that by the time we bring Cheryl home we'd have to turn around to come back, we figure it's probably best to stay at the airport. Which means- Buffy you need to get to the florist's at noon to give the final deposit, Xander, you need to finish the wedding bower arch thingy which will take- how long?"_

_ "Six hours. Four if William and Tanya stop trying to help."_

_ "Good. So, Spike- since we're talking daylight hours, you're on kiddie watch."_

_ "Whatever you need, Niblet." Spike smiled at her and then at his little girl, his beautiful little lambkin, asleep in her mother's arms. "Not even a chore." _

_ "What do we do?" Willow asked, gesturing to herself and Vance._

_ "Willow picks up the dresses for all of us, and Giles and Vance- you get ready to have the big family dinner in here. You're also airport backup, in case something happens and we don't get back there by 7:00 to pick up Joey's friends."_

_ "Just a few, Vee, you've met them. At that Boxing Day dinner at my mum's a few years ago. Harry and Mike from rugby and Mitchell and Lucy- that's my old RAF commander, and his wife."_

_ "That sounds easy enough." Vance smiled. "I'm sure we can handle dinner for that many, it'll just be twice whatever we usually make."_

_ "Uh yeah. Only, none of them know what we do, and my mum, dad, and sis will be stayin' with us instead of a hotel. So. That means- total normalcy."_

_ There was a moment of silence and sideways glances. Then as one, the clan moved to their feet with a clamor. "All the spell books!" Willow gasped._

_ "The training rooms!" Buffy cried._

_ "Hide the weapons." Xander prioritized. _

_ "Where do we hide _all _these weapons? We have an effin' arsenal!" Spike demanded._

_ "Everyone remain calm!" Giles thundered. "Dawn and Joey's wedding is in three days. We will have everything under control, all things will be away that should be away, all things needed to give the guise of normalcy will be in place." He put a calming arm around her shoulders. His youngest. That awkward teen with scuffed sneakers and quick to tears and tantrums as she was transplanted in a new world. _Now look at her. A free lance journalist a few hours a week, my right hand the rest of the time. No longer a girl, a beautiful young woman, confident and articulate-

_ "The kids! The kids- remember what Tanya did at your wedding, Vance- holy crap!" Dawn suddenly shrieked, turning to Willow. "What if she does it at mine?"_

_ Giles sighed. Articulate _at times,_ he should have said. "They're a bit older now, Dearheart. They'll be on their best behavior." _

_ "I just don't want anything to go wrong." Dawn turned to Joey. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to spaz, and you know- you all know I love the crazy and all of you and..."_

_ "It's my fault. I haven't told my folks before, an' maybe I oughta tell 'em now, but-"_

_ "No!" A resounding chorus echoed from the older members of the family. _

_ "It's delicate." Vance said._

_ "Unnecessarily risky." Willow winced._

_ "We do try to operate as secretly as possible." Giles reminded them all._

_ "Dawn- it'll be okay like this. Remember? Scoobies forever." Buffy shifted the sleeping infant from her shoulder to her arm as she stood and embraced Dawn with the other arm. "Sometimes we have to keep family out of harm's way. Joey's family doesn't need to know yet. But if they ever do-"_

_ " _I'll _tell them. I can usually handle my mum when she's riled." Joey cut in and everyone laughed, breaking the tense atmosphere._

_ "Agreed. Now, I know we've all got a monstrous amount to do- so I propose I call for pizzas and we spend two hours pretending there isn't a pile of back breaking labor about to unfold before we dive into the fray." Giles looked to his wife. _

_ "As goes Giles, so go I." She nodded._

_ Chairs pushed back from the table and the groups scattered through the living room. Dawn leaned on Giles. "Thanks, Dad-man."_

_ "Oh hush. Pizza is affordable." Giles adjusted his glasses. "Now, that wedding cake on the other hand..."_

_ "No. I mean, yes, thanks for the pizza, and for all the help with the wedding." Dawn and Joey's ceremony would be fairly small but had all the finery and fancifulness that Dawn had wanted. When she'd announced her engagement, Giles had been there the next night with a check, a sizable one, not enough to cover everything but more than enough to help. There had been a simple note in the envelope he left her, four words only, _The bride's family pays. _"Thanks for that, too, I'm totally grateful."_

_ "I told you to stop thanking me. It wasn't a hardship, and it was something we wanted to do." He flushed at the gratitude in her eyes. It was heartwarming, but honestly. He'd always planned to do it. She was his child, and now his and Vance's. Not to mention Joey was all the son and friend Vance could've ever asked for. They had been overjoyed to help _

_ "Sorry, Big Guy,I'm going to have to thank you at least one more time. _Thank you_. Y'know. For making everything flow smoothly, for being the in charge, organizing guy while I'm going a little insane. Thanks. For doing the parent thing."_

_ "Dawn, don't." Giles warned, feeling his throat tighten._

_ "But it wasn't it easy._ I'm_ not easy. And there wasn't just me. But you- I don't know, you still _did _it, because it was the right thing to do. So, thank you. For everything."_

_ Giles folded her suddenly to his chest. "I'm not giving you away on Saturday. Remind Brooke. I know they say it's 'giving the bride away', but I'm not taking it literally. I'm merely letting you get set up in a different location, but you're still ours." He murmured on top of her head._

_ "I know." Dawn laughed lightly and let herself be hugged. He hadn't hugged her like this in a long time, like she was his little girl. Because she'd become an adult around him, under his supervision. She stiffened her spine and pulled back, giving him a smile. "Think of me as recruiting. I'm not leaving the fold, I'm bringing back a prize team member."_

_ "He is rather good at what he does." Giles patted her back and coughed to fight down any surplus emotion that was bubbling over the surface._

_ "He's going to make an awesome son-in-law." Dawn whispered. The senior Watcher and his assistant turned to look at the young man, beaming as he was in his own huddle with Vance._

_ "Vee, aren't there any decent Indian places around?" Joey groaned. _

_ "Hardly." Vance commiserated. She turned suddenly to look at Giles across the room. "Darling, where was the one place we found?"_

_ Giles pushed himself away from Dawn and over to his wife with one final whisper. "Thank you, Dearheart, you've done very well. He certainly balances the American palettes around here." Dawn laughed and Giles looked thoughtful as he moved to Vance. "It was either called Tikka Lake or Tikka Lagoon. Oh, they had _ proper _Indian food, not like the Americanized rubbish you find everywhere. I think the menu is in the kitchen by the phone." He and Vance went to hunt it down._

_ "How can you eat that spicy stuff?" Xander rubbed his stomach. "I'd like to keep my insides inside, not burned through."_

_ "Wimp." Spike coughed and insulted simultaneously._

_ "Not all of us have nonfunctioning digestive tracts, Dead Boy." Xander smacked his elbow in passing. "Tanya! Come down from the library!"_

_ "William." Buffy joined in the call._

_ "Don't change the subject. You can't hold your liquor an' you can't hold your curry, either!" Spike returned Xander's smack, a little harder._

_ "At least I'm not flammable." Xander smirked. _

_ "Don't make me do a silencing spell." Willow muttered and pushed them apart._

_ Dawn sighed and smiled tiredly. She and Joey met in the middle of the room, drawn to each other as always. The slender brunette wrapped her arms around Joey's neck. "Hi, Baby."_

_ "Hello, Beautiful." He rested his forehead to hers. _

_ "Still sure you want to join this madcap bunch?"_

_ "Only a fool would turn down this gig." Joey chuckled and kissed her, in the midst of the clamor, in the midst of the running fiasco that perpetually surrounded them._

_ "Mmm, I'm not sure about that, Dr. Brooke." Dawn let her normally bright eyes simmer in her love, lust, and affection for her groom-to-be, her partner, best friend, and only man she'd ever fallen in love with. "I think it takes a real hero to know what they're getting into and still come in anyway." She purred and caressed his neck._

_ "I'm no hero." Joey flushed at her praise and drew her a little closer. "Just a man in love." _

_ Dawn shook her head in wonder. "How did I get someone like you, huh?"_

_ "It seems like you attract the best." Joey winked._

_ "Hold dinner for an hour!" Willow held up her cell phone and looked significantly at Giles. "Madge just called. Some kids came in asking if she sold bloodstones. They left the store but they're still in the street."_

_ "Oh, damn." Giles sighed. "Same ones as before?"_

_ "Different ones." Willow sighed and looked to Buffy._

_ " Crap. Okay. Quick visual. Quick background check, maybe a little friendly intervention once it gets darker?" Buffy advised. "You up for it?" She looked at Spike with a smile._

_ Spike's fangs slid down and his voice thickened. "Puttin' on the bad guy suit for the cause of the greater good? Always up for it." He winked a yellow eye at her. 'Always up for other things, too, Pet.' His voice spoke inside her head and she returned his wink._

_ "Can you two do the silent sex talk later? There's been a pizza delay. All possible speed must be used to deal with this crisis!" Xander chivvied his wife towards the door with a kiss on her cheek. "Go, hack, check, invade privacy, and bring back the kind with stuffed crust!"_

_ "No garlic!" Spike warned._

_ "Extra pepperoni." _

_ "Can we please worry about dinner later?" Buffy demanded. "We have other things to focus on, people."_

_ "Uh, yeah. Wedding, anyone?" Dawn raised her hand with mock meekness._

_ "Oh. Oh, Dawnie, I promise," Willow rushed back and took both her hands as they fell from Joey's sides, "I promise we will have everything taken care of before your big day." _

_ As the family members dispersed or fragmented, consumed with a hundred details on a dozen different fronts, Dawn and Joey sighed and looked ruefully at each other._

_ "I wanted excitement." Joey reminded her._

_ "I know, and I'm glad. I just kind of think it's ironic. I do attract the best - but sometimes it seems I get big doses of the worst, too."_

* * *

><p><em> A man exited the airport lounge and waited for the valet to bring his rental around. One tanned hand dug into his pressed khakis for his phone. The slightly stocky frame paused and leaned carelessly against one of the concrete pillars lining the walkway. Gray hair glinted in the sunlight, along with an expensive gold watch as he flipped it open and hit a single button. He smiled after a few seconds and spoke. "Hi, Sweetie."<em>

_ "Hi, you made it okay?"_

_ "Safe and sound. And missing my little sugar princess." _

_ A flirtatious giggle marred the line for a moment before the girlish voice continued."I got the address. There were only two Summers, so one of them has to be it. There's a William S. Summers and a D. Summers."_

_ "Hm. Must have put the place in Dawn's name. Buffy would do that. She always took care of her little sister."_

_ "That's good. They sound like great girls. Both of them."_

_ "Yeah, look, Honey, we can talk about it later. Just give me the address for Dawn's place."_

_ The voice became hesitant. "Okay... it's in an apartment complex called Ridge View." The hesitancy increased and the young woman asked, "Are you sure you just want to pop in on them? After all this time?"_

_ Hank Summers smiled into the sunlight as he took the keys from the valet and slid into the rented Mercedes. "Are you kidding? My little girls are going to be so thrilled to see their daddy."_


	24. Chapter 24

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Author's note: I'm sorry to drag out this particular scenario, but I'm wordy and I can't help myself, and I also don't mean to overwhelm people with as much content as I'm envisioning, so- shorter chapters than usual._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, and DLillith21. The few but faithful for this piece._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXIV

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of _Starting Over_)

**Real Fathers**

_Hank Summers rang the doorbell for the third time. The sun was setting and he wanted to find his hotel before dark. For a small town, this burg had too many nooks and crannies for his liking. He sighed and retrieved his phone from his coat pocket. _

_ "Princess? No, I found the place, but no one's there. Did you find a phone number?"_

_ "No. I didn't find a number for either of them, that William Summers guy or D. Summers, just addresses."_

_ "Well, don't worry about the man, just Dawn and Buffy."_

_ I don't know, Sugarkins. Maybe they're unlisted?"_

_ "Why would they be unlisted?" Hank grumbled._

* * *

><p><em>"Do you think we can really pull this all off in three days?" Dawn leaned against Joey as they walked, each carrying a box elaborately wrapped in white.<em>

_ "Two and a half." Xander said helpfully from behind them, his own arms full of gift bags._

_ "Two and three quarters." Buffy kicked her friend in the shins. "Don't worry Dawnie, we got this."_

_ "We can do anything, Beautiful." Joey nudged his chin to her forehead as they moved towards their home. Their first home, a two bedroom townhouse, only a few doors down from the home Willow and Xander had once shared, a few courts away from where Dawn had "grown up", become her own person. _

_ "Of course you can. It's in the bag." Spike added confidently. "If we could ever get done carryin' in all your bleedin' wedding gifts an' get on with the prep."_

_ "Uh- yeah. Speaking of bags- how many more of these are there?" Willow sounded muffled and strained. _

_ "I think everyone in the coven sent something, plus every girl Dawn met at the Alliance. An' half the Watchers in the world." Joey looked over his shoulder to see if Willow needed saving. All he could see of the redhead was her eyes and hair. _

_ Spike stepped back as did Xander and each managed to take a bag or two. "Bit's well loved, what can I say?" Spike preened._

_ "You can say 'not even'. Half of these are stamped Royal Airmail for a reason." Dawn disagreed._

_ "Well, they would be, wouldn't they, Beautiful?" Joey winked. "The Alliance bein' set up in Devon?"_

_ "Don't split hairs, Mister. Half of these are from your rugby buddies and your drinking buddies and - people. Oh God. I bet you we end up having five sets of pint glasses." Dawn groaned and fished out the keys to their apartment._

_ "I'm liking it. Par-tay." Xander tried to do a little disco move on the walkway. _

_ "Not if you drop all the soddin' mugs." Spike laughed and caught Xander's boxes as they teetered. "You aren't the disco king, Pirate."_

_ "I think you have to wear bell bottoms for it to work." Xander laughed along and shifted his packages. "Dawnie, can you hurry up? Wrapping paper designs are starting to sweat off back here."_

_ But Dawn seemed unmoving in the doorway, causing a pile up behind her. "There's something pushed into the mail slot." Her voice was calm but wary. "Willow?"_

_ "Wicca back up, coming through." Willow and Buffy jostled together for a moment, Buffy taking the rest of Willow's gifts. Everyone else remained tensely still._

_ "It couldn't be the mail, we got that this morning." Joey eyed it practically. "Single sheet of paper, small, looks like the back of a receipt."_

_ "Doesn't have to be big to be evil." Dawn smiled bitterly._

_ Willow looked at the apartment, seeing it with eyes the others didn't possess. "No wards were breached. It isn't magic." Willow ran a hand over it. "No vibe. That's just kinda weird though. I mean, who would stick a note in your mail slot? All of us are with you, and all your friends would've called you."_

_ "Maybe it's Jenna or Claire telling me they're in town a day early. Like, just driving by and left it in. But- they would have called my cell phone, they have my number." _

_ "It could be something really simple, like a neighbor asking if you can keep the radio down. When did we get so freaked out over little pieces of paper?" Xander shifted his boxes uncomfortably and tried to make light of the situation._

_ "It was probably right around the time we all lived through our _first _end of the world." Buffy said with a falsely sweet smile at him._

_ "Let me go in first." Joey took the piece of paper from the door and shouldered it open, Dawn's keys still in the lock, the bolts drawn back. "It looks clean." He announced after a moment._

_ "Smells empty." Spike took a deep breath and caught only the scents of Joey, Dawn, and faint traces of their family members who were frequent guests. _

_ "No bad tinglies." Buffy concurred._

_ Everyone trooped into the living room, set boxes and bags down, and stared at the young couple as Joey held out the paper and unfolded it. It was a receipt from a car rental company. A hasty scrawl was jotted on the back. _

"Hi Girls,

Decided to stop by, you were out. I didn't have your phone number or I would have called. I'm at the Pine Ridge Motor Lodge, give me a call when you get home.

Love, Dad." _Joey read out. "Dad." He repeated the final word with growing astonishment._

_ "Love Dad?" Willow's eyes went to dinner plate proportions. _

_ "Love? Dad?" Buffy's world seemed to rock back and forth, and she shook her head. "What?"_

_ Dawn said nothing. _

_ "Did he hear about the wedding somehow?" Xander speculated._

_ "How did he even know where you were?" Joey put his arm around his fiancee's shoulders. From all he'd heard, Hank Summers hadn't laid eyes on his children in over a decade._

_ "I called him. When we came here." Buffy's voice was hollow, eyes unseeing. "I left a message..." Her voice trailed off, mind running at top speed, too fast for any one clear thought to emerge. A thousand times in a dozen years she'd wished he'd called, a hundred life altering moments she'd wondered where he was. Funerals. Weddings. Births. Anniversaries. All a blur and the world went dark._

_ "Buffy!" Spike cried and lunged forward to catch her just as she stumbled to her knees._

_ "I'm okay. I'm okay, I just got dizzy." She let herself be helped up. Dawn wordlessly pointed to the couch, and the sisters sat, Joey perched on the arm nearest Dawn and Spike kneeling alongside Buffy._

_ "Yeah, well that'll happen when the world goes flip flop." Willow leaned against Xander and they exchanged an anxious look._

_ "I'm with Wills. 'Cause waiting a decade and change for a return phone call and then getting an in-person-o-gram is kinda wiggy."_

_ "I just- I mean- I... I don't know what to think. Or feel. I should be happy, I should be rushing to the phone and I can't seem to get my happy up." Buffy blinked rapidly. "You know? He's my dad. And he's here, in town. I haven't seen him in forever, and - I don't feel anything but confused."_

_ "Shh. Shh." Spike stroked her hair, carefully tucking his own emotions deep, deep inside, not letting her feel them. Because they'd only upset her more at this point. "I don't blame you."_

_ "Dawn? Angel Face, say something." Joey pleaded. His future wife sat white and unmoving, hands stiff on knees. He didn't know how to feel either. His girl had never minced words about the fact that her father wasn't really her father, that in reality, they'd never even met._

_ "Dawnster?" Xander came close to her, hand outstretched, ready to do the big brother thing. Willow seemed torn between hugging Buffy or shaking Dawn out of silence._

_ Buffy reached over and took Dawn's hand, only to find it empty in a split second as Dawn rose form her seat. "Dawnie?"_

_ "You know why you feel confused? I do." Dawn's voice crackled with anger and she seized the note from Joey's hand. " It's because this is written by an impostor." She shook it violently before slapping it down on the end table. _

_ "Why would anyone impersonate your dad?" Willow asked gently. _

_ "_He's_ the impostor. My _real _father is at home with his wife- rearranging everything in their _entire _home so that they can have a big family dinner tomorrow night. Our _real _dad is watching your kids, Buffy, and probably getting more gray hairs every second we're out because he's never had to take care of Sarah Joyce for more than fifteen minutes before. He's probably also worrying about whether or not he's going to be able to do the stiff-upper-lip-Brit thing on Saturday when he walks me down the aisle, and he's probably trying to figure out if he's going to need to put next month's mortgage on a credit card because he just wrote us a big check. Because the bride's father helps pay. Because the bride's father is THERE!" Dawn's voice had gone from angry, to brittle, to venomous, to a full out scream of rage. "He's _never _been there!" She kicked the end table over and the receipt fluttered limply to the ground. "That bastard isn't my father! He's just a name on a piece of paper." She gave a startled choking sound as she stopped, horrified at her outburst, at the furniture kicked over and five stunned faces staring at her. She let out a half sob, wild eyed, hand to mouth. She turned and fled._

_ Joey stared after her for a few seconds, in awe. "She thinks she's not powerful..." He whispered. _

_ "Scary, huh?" Xander laughed weakly._

_ "No. Amazing." Joey's eyes seared him. He pushed himself across the room like he was walking knee deep in mud, heavy thoughts and a sense of awe weighing him down. "Lock the door after you. Thanks for all your help." Joey said absently. Then seemed to come awake. "Can you tell Giles to call her- in a little while, that is, let him know the deal, please?"_

_ "Sure." Spike exchanged a look with Joey, They had a silent conversation, Spike hadn't known they could do that, he'd thought it would take years of trust and friendship to happen. But there was an exception. The message passed between them, silent but loud and clear. 'I have to take care of my wife. You have to take care of yours. I'm scared she won't know I'm here for her... but they both hurt right now. I am trusting you to comfort one of the most precious people in my world. Don't screw it up.'_

_ Joey nodded to the vampire. 'Message received and understood' it seemed to say. "Spike, Buffy- you can stay if you want, Maybe she'll be better in a bit, an' I know this is a family matter. But you've also got the kids."_

_ "We'll go ahead." Willow jumped into the gap eagerly. "We'll go, a-and we'll explain everything, and everything will be okay." She launched herself at Buffy "Call me when you want. Anytime. Wake me up." _

_ "Ditto." Xander hugged her too._

_ "Thank you. Thanks, guys. We'll be right there. Sarah J needs to be fed soon anyway, and I only left one bottle with Vance." Buffy rubbed at her eyes. Her two friends nodded and slipped to the doorway._

_ "Love you Dawn!" They chorused._

_ "Love you too!" Dawn's voice was trembling but loud and pointed. Joey felt a thousand volts of pride soaring in him._

That's my girl. Her world can crumble, and she's still able to love. If they _deserve _her love.

_The door closed behind Xander and Willow. Joey started up the stairs, Spike and Buffy huddled on the couch. "G'night. In case I don't make it back down." Joey whispered. They both nodded. His almost sister-in-law gave him a beaming, watering smile._

_ "You take really good care of her." She managed to say._

_ "Continuing the tradition." Joey inclined his head to them both. _

_ For some reason, that made Buffy burst into a gut wrenching, doubling up in pain sob. _

_ "Luv! Sweetlet, don't, please don't." Spike wrapped his arms around her and bent his frame over hers, murmuring pleading little encouragements in her ear._

_ "I can't- help it. I tried. I tried so hard to - to handle everything after Mom...A-and I was so scared, and Giles wasn't there all the time and I-" Her voice was frantic, rambling. _

_ Joey stood on the stairs, torn between desire to help two people. But he knew Buffy had Spike. His place was with Dawn. He continued to the master bedroom._

_ "Shh. Shh, Pet, you did your very best." _

_ "Where was he?" Buffy's frantic words cut off with one trembling question. "Where has he been?" Her mouth quivered and collapsed, a fresh sob coming out. "Wh-what did I do to make him stop loving me? To make him go away and never come back and never call me?" _

_ Spike felt his own tears streaking out as she buried her head under his chin and let out years and years of tears she'd never shed. "You didn't do anything wrong. You tried to keep in touch with him. You did plenty." _And a damn sight more than that pillock deserved or did for you...

_ "I used to miss him so much." Buffy whispered through her tears._

_ "I know. I know, Baby."_

_ "No. You don't. You don't know what it's like now- to have missed him so much and never had his help when I needed it most- until-" she sat up with wet, mascara stained eyes melting him, drowning him in their shared grief, "until I don't have room for him in my life anymore." Her last words were a guilty rush._

_ Spike took her shoulders firmly, forehead to forehead. "Now you listen to me." He spoke softly and seriously. "You, Buffy Summers, have always had room in your life an' your heart for anyone and everyone. You've made a bad man a champion for the sake of your love." He reminded her, fingertips of one hand tracing trails of tears over her cheeks. "You'd make room. You'd give him room. You still have him in your heart, I know it 'cause I can feel it."_

_ She shook her head. "Then why? Spike, why do I feel like this?" _

_ Spike pushed the boundaries of their bond to try and feel what she felt. Usually it wasn't hard, they were very open with one another after all this time, and because they'd always worn their hearts on their sleeves, even if they tried hard not to. _

_ Heads tilted and minds merged as lips joined, sweet, desperate, tear soaked kisses. _

_ He inhaled her- all of her._

_ Thousands of images, a little girl in scuffed shoes and faded sundresses, turning into a young woman, prettier with every passing second but she didn't see it. She saw her life in fragments of hanging around her daddy's shoulders and sitting on his lap, holding his hand at the ice show, dancing at the Father-Daughter dance- and then it changed. _

_ Infrequent visits. Spent at the mall, spent at the beach, what was supposed to happen every couple weeks became once a year events, where she wasn't close to her father anymore, where he was just trying to use his wallet to fill in a year's worth of neglect. _

_ The memories sped up into a dark tangled blur for awhile, and Spike wished he could switch off the connection just for a second, because her pain burned him. Then he felt angry at his own selfishness. He'd take all her pain for her, if only he could. _

_ A teenager walking alone in the dark, a weeping runaway who was hollow inside, in the same city as her father but unable to go to him, Joyce's cold, still form breaking under failed CPR, a girl in black leaning on Giles, a younger Dawn leaning on her, a girl diving from a tower, a girl clawing her way to freedom from the earth, a girl bruised and shaking on the bathroom floor, a girl kicked out of her own house in the midst of the biggest battle on Earth- and her father wasn't there. He didn't even _know_. The girl felt alone. She had friends, but she had no one to be bigger or stronger than herself, no one to lean on. She was an orphan- but she had a father. She felt like a freak inside of a freak. She knew she was many paradoxes, but she hated this one in a different way. This had very little to do with fate and supernatural happenings. This had to do with how her father felt about her, where his priorities were._

_ Buffy tried to pull her head from Spike's. She didn't like this five minute trip down bad memory lane and she got it. She got the message. It wasn't that there was no room for her dad, it was just that he hadn't been there in so long, her heart had filled in his place with self-reliance and bravery. She'd been abandoned, without ever even realizing it or admitting it._

_ "Stop. I get it." Buffy's voice was faded, saddened. _

_ "You get the first half." Spike's voice was full of controlled rage, overflowing with love at the same time. He hadn't known he could feel so many different things at once until her. Funny how as a vampire in love he'd finally felt himself become human, become the man he'd longed to be."Lemme try to show you the rest. You saw who was missing, now see who was there." He locked eyes with her and let his own mind fast forward through a lifetime together, the one they'd shared, since leaving Sunnydale._

_ Giles. Walking her down the chapel aisle. Dancing with her at her reception. Their first Christmas in Pine Ridge, the moment he put his hand on her stomach and felt William kick for the first time, the agony in his eyes when Buffy was in pain, the joy in his eyes when she'd handed him his grandson. A thousand patrols, a thousand family dinners, a dozen birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, stupid moments, sweet moments. She saw him almost every day, the only exception was when he was away on business. When he was in England he phoned or emailed. _

_ Spike pushed himself away. He tried to look hardened, as if seeing one man's devotion to his girl hadn't affected him at all. He was a vampire after all, he didn't need to be a big cuddly priss, all teared up over some extended Father's Day commercial._

_ It failed miserably. "Your father's been here the whole time, Luv." Spike finally managed to whisper. _

_ "I know, Spike, I do . I do know. That Giles is the best, that he's the definition of a real man and a real dad. Especially since we came here. Even before." She shook her head in spite of declarations she was making. "But you know what I mean. What I feel. Giles is amazing, but part of it's not the same. He's not- not my _real _dad._

_ Of all the surprising things she'd ever said, this ranked in the top ten. How could she forget the night they'd "buried their dead", the night after the ceremony in the Memorial Garden, when she made the decree, _"We're not the Scoobies anymore, okay? We're a family. We're a family now, let's just say we're a family and be done with it!" _And now this? That Giles wasn't "real" enough for her. _

_ "Hm. That so? Don't tell Bit that." Spike's tone had sharpened. "She's not your real sister, either."_

_ Buffy looked shocked and furious, mouth popped open to protest violently. Spike quirked one eyebrow. "What? Gonna tell me how it's different? How she's _real_ family 'cause some monks popped her into your life when you were nineteen, how your mum and dad never conceived her, how your mum never bore her? How's she real then?" Spike knew he might get his nose broken for this, and he honestly didn't care. His wife was the most beautiful, brilliant, bravest woman ever to live. She still had blind spots. He was her second pair of eyes. _

_ "Spike Summers..." Buffy gave him a second to recant._

_ He pressed forward. "Guess our children aren't quite real then, are they, Luv? 'Cause my swimmers don't swim, an' from what we know about slayers, your eggs get made but they don't like to hatch. If not for some magical trinket, they wouldn't have happened. If not for some monks lookin' for a loophole, you wouldn't have Dawn. If not for some half-assed bunch of wankers in England sending you a man who would watch your back, love you, die for you, an' decide to make his life run alongside of yours, you'd never have had Giles- who happens to be twice the man your father's been in the second part of your life."_

_ "If you want to sum this up before I break your face and it hurts to talk, I would do that." Buffy hissed, incensed, shocked, that her beloved husband, her most supportive and caring friend could speak like that, twist the knife in an already bleeding heart._

_ This last nail in the coffin was the hardest for him, harder than defaming his beloved Bit, or their miracle children. "I'm not really your husband. Willow faked my identification. We faked what we needed to get the license to do the ceremony. The ceremony was legal, but if all the steps to it were faked- guess I'm not your 'real' husband. Guess you're not really my wife." Spike swallowed down the lump of granite in his throat. His heart was popping open, vein by vein as he said the words. _

_ "How can you say that to me?" Buffy felt like her world was collapsing, and it made no sense. This was the man who'd helped her build her life, piece by piece. Who loved her more than his own life and soul, who had proved it a million times. _

_ "Because I love you too much to let you tell yourself that big a lie, Slayer." Spike clutched her hands as she tried to take them from his grasp. "You can't use two definitions for the same parts of your life, Luv. I know you believe with every speck of your heart that I am your real husband, that our kids are our real kids, that Dawn is your real sister. Because your heart tells you so. Because you _know _it. Because it doesn't matter what the bloody hell the rest of the world tells you!" He cupped her face and she didn't pull away. "What is real- comes from in here." He pressed a palm to her heart. "Don't throw away the truth because you have someone else's lies stuck in your head."_

_ Silence. Tense silence. Harsh breathing, sniffles, lips an inch apart before they finally met once, softly. _

_ "Never, ever speak to me like that again." Buffy murmured. "I thought- I thought my heart was going to break."_

_ "Mine too. An' I swear, never will. ever again. If you get the message that is."_

_ Buffy nodded once, grimly accepting. "I will always be Hank Summers' daughter. But Rupert Giles is my real father." _

Meanwhile, upstairs...

_ Dawn flopped face up on the bed, head hanging off of it. Joey was lying stomach down, so he could look into her face as he peered over the edge of the bed. "Stop apologizing."_

_ "I can't. I can't. I threw an immature fit." Dawn blinked and felt a single tear escape up her forehead instead of down._

_ "You shouted an' kicked something. If my dad went AWOL for half my life and then showed up like nothin' ever happened, I'd have trashed the place then gone and gotten royally pissed. Maybe punched a few people."_

_ "I haven't ruled that out yet." Dawn muttered bitterly. "Why me? Why this week? Why, why, why?"_

_ "Because you're strong enough to handle it. An' nothin' is gonna ruin our wedding, Precious."_

_ "Umm- it might. With my maid of honor downstairs bawling her brains out and your best man about to revert to a life of bloody carnage. Which- given the fact that Buffy does love our dad, for some reason, is going to cause a lot of wedded unbliss." Dawn rolled over, long legs grazing Joey's as she lay on her side. "I'm sorry."_

_ Joey rolled to his side as well and took her chin, such a delicate little face, in his large, strong hand and held her gaze to his own. "Stop. Never, ever tell me you're sorry for what you can't control." His voice was urgent and sharp._

_ "This part of my life- this wasn't even on the list of bad crap I told you I came with." Dawn stroked his curling sandy brown hair. "I knew I couldn't get a completely normal life, but I did think I'd get to give you a nice, normal wedding." She laughed once, a twisted choke of a sound._

_ "D'you know somethin' Dawn? All I want at my wedding is for it to end when they say you're mine. I don't care if Spike is there dripping blood, I don't care if your father is sitting in the front row or on a plane back to the hole he crawled out of. Don't you see, Luv, all I want is you, an' you to be happy."_

_ "You make me happy." It was heartfelt. It was automatic. So was their combined reaction._

_ Heated, sudden kissing, pinning each other in turns as passions overwhelmed them. _

_ "Nothing else matters." Joey reassured her. "I love you, I love your life, whatever you have in it."_

_ "I know what I have. I have a real life, real father, real mom who's watching over me, and a real step-mom named Vance helping out down here, real family. Real strange sometimes. Real love all the time." Dawn gasped between urgent kisses._

_ "We'll handle whatever the deal with your dad is. Okay?"_

_ "Okay." Dawn pulled up short, looking at him with a pleased but quizzical smile. "You know- I have the same memories Buffy does- but I know they're not real. I know why this is hard for her. I guess I always figured there'd be some point in our lives when we had to deal with him again- maybe when he passed away." Dawn shook her head, getting rid of the painful thought. "But I thought things would be easy for her to handle. She has Spike. She can do anything with him. I know we're all important, but Spike's like- like her secret weapon."_

_ "He'd do anything to make her happy. I would, too. I know I'm not superhuman, or demonic, but-"_

_ "Shh, Joey." Dawn shook her head again, more gently this time. "I'm saying- I can't believe this doesn't hurt worse, I can't believe I'm not falling apart more. But I have my own secret weapon. I can do anything. I have you."_

_ Kissing resumed, frantic and hungry. _

_ "We should stop." Dawn broke off things abruptly, flushed and breasts heaving with the effort of breathing and making out at the same time._

_ "I know. Need time, an' I wasn't thinking." Joey agreed, wiping his wet mouth and sitting up. _

_ "No! No, having awesome Joey-love would make me feel a million times better." Dawn stood up and adjusted herself. "But there are people downstairs. People who do not need to hear me screaming and shouting."_

_ "You do get going, Sunshine." Joey patted her rump appreciatively. "Think Spike has enough to contend with without growlin' at me."_

_ "I know." Dawn pulled her sweating hair up and into a high ponytail, looking at her future husband behind her via the mirror over their dresser. "I don't think it would have been the screaming kind of sex tonight anyway. It would be the 'clinging to my rock kind', where I wouldn't let you move away from me, I'd hold onto you all night." She admitted._

_ "Mmm, can I have a raincheck, Beautiful?" Joey slid his arms around her waist. "I love when you cling to me."_

_ "Thought men didn't like clingy girls." Dawn gave him one of her half-smiles in the mirror._

_ "There's an exception to every rule- and you're every exception." He winked. "No better thing in the world than having you with me. I can't wait until it's permanent."_

_ "Mutual. Especially now. I'm in the mood to appreciate long-haul guys." With a sigh, Dawn headed to the bedroom door. "I have to do the sister thing. Do you-"_

_ "I'm coming with you." Joey really would rather not watch emotional pain in a live performance happening in his living room. But there was no way in the world he wouldn't be there for his girl, and by extension, some of the nicest people he'd ever met. Okay, perhaps Spike didn't fall under the heading of nicest- but he was a Manchester United supporter. Brothers of the club. And he was a good guy- for being a little evil. _

_ "I love you." Dawn beamed at him. "Where you go, I go."_

I make her smile like that. Even when shit happens. It happens a lot around here. I hope I can always make her smile._ "Love you, too."_

* * *

><p><em> "People alert." Dawn walked downstairs, sending the call ahead of her. She ducked her head around enough to see the figures on the couch unlock lips with a start.<em>

_ "Are you okay?" Buffy was standing and coming to her before she even made the last step. _

_ "I'm fine, are _you _okay?" Dawn asked as they hugged._

_ "I am. Or I will be." Buffy patted her back. "I'm so sorry I went weepy."_

_ "I'm sorry I went temper tantrum." Dawn returned, head nestled on her sister's shoulder, despite the fact that Buffy was several inches shorter. _

_ Spike and Joey stood by, each on the side of their respective lover. "Bit." When Dawn stopped hugging Buffy, Spike made his feelings known with just one word. Dawn hugged him next, and Buffy and Joey smiled ruefully at each other. He opened one arm and Buffy slid in, giving him a brief one armed hug. _

_ "Well- uh, hey," the petite blonde joked to the much larger man, "in less than three days you can officially be related to this problem."_

_ "Oh joy." Joey released her with a squeeze and Dawn reclaimed her sister._

_ Dawn let out a deep, shuddering breath. "I know you're going to feel different about this, and I'm sorry I said what I said. Not helpful."_

_ "But true." Buffy mumbled, crossing her arms with a sigh. _

_ Dawn continued, speeding up, defending her outburst. "I mean, I have the same memories, Buffy, but I had to learn that they weren't really real. Or- or I couldn't deal with some stuff. I know I have a double standard, I act like life with Mom and all those other things I love really existed, but with Dad not being around, it was easier to do the 'Never really happened, forget about it' thing. I'm sorry."_

_ "Dawn. It's okay." Buffy gave her sister a weak smile. "I'm not upset at you."_

_ "You're not?"_

_ "No. I agree with you. Sort of."_

_ "That's gotta be a first." Dawn rolled her eyes._

_ "Dad's not an impostor, but he's definitely not living up to the father standard we have around here." Buffy looked miserable at this admission. _

_ "He- he never even tried." Dawn whispered. "I can keep my standards pretty low."_

_ "Hrm." Joey coughed and gave her a pointed, 'No, you can't' look._

_ "I can! If it's the best someone could do, if they were really, really trying, making the effort." Dawn exclaimed._

_ Buffy nodded and Spike placed his arm around Dawn's shoulders. "I know you can, Sweet Bits. Always took me for what I was, as long as I was blunderin' along to help."_

_ "It's probably my fault." Buffy sat heavily back on the couch and looked at her family members with a sudden weariness. "I pushed him away, with the slayage and stuff. I didn't want him to get hurt. He didn't. But he didn't think we needed him."_

_ This was met by a furious outburst on all three parts. "A real father wouldn't have let that stop him!" Joey cried._

_ "You pushed Mom away and she kept coming back." Dawn argued._

_ "Stop actin' like your old man's mistakes are yours!"_

_ "Maybe he didn't think I needed him. Maybe I didn't have room for him. I mean, look what I have right in this room. You guys are awesome." Buffy wiped at her eyes. "Dammit. Estrogen overload."_

_ Dawn ignored her sister's comments and sat down beside her. "Okay. Maybe you're right. Maybe Dad would've looked at the amazing people in our lives and said 'nope, no room for me here. Not needed, moving on now.' The point is, he never looked. He never checked, he never picked up a phone." The anger was mounting again. "And what if he did? Huh? You think someone who really loved us would have said, 'Oh look, they have lots of love, guess they don't need anymore.'? Hell no!"_

_ "Gotta agree." Spike leaned against the wall and watched his two favorite people in the world talk themselves in circles. They'd battle and argue and hug and console. Go through emotional hell and emerge stronger than ever. One reason why he loved them. One reason he knew first hand Dawn was speaking the truth. "When you love someone, you don't care if you jumpin' in their life makes one hell of a splash. You can't help it. You would do anything to be with 'em." Spike gave a crooked grin at his wife, the one who he had never managed to leave alone, even if she'd wanted him to._

_ "He's right. Leave your family, your job, your country." Joey put forth and earned himself a loving look from his girl. "Just so long as you're together."_

_ Buffy and Dawn exchanged a look. "They make sense." Buffy smiled and leaned back into the couch._

_ "I know. You'd think for such stud muffins they'd be all looks and no brains." Dawn kidded._

_ "Not just another pretty face." Joey laughed. Spike licked his lips and gave Buffy with his best boy toy look._

_ "Great. So you stop riding the guilt train and I'll stop kicking stuff?" Dawn offered hesitantly._

_ "Yes. Deal." Buffy agreed. "Mostly. I'll try?" Her conviction faltered apologetically. _

_ Dawn let herself be pulled into another hug. "Remember when it was just us? After Mom...?" She whispered in Buffy's ear as it passed her lips._

_ "Yes. It wasn't too good."_

_ "No. But it was just us. We did okay. Sisters?"_

_ "Forever and ever." Buffy released her with a swallowed sob and a glistening smile._

_ "This is all very, very touching." Spike forced himself to play the stoic one after watching the women share a special smile, one they could only understand. Joey elbowed him and glared. "Oi. This is beautiful an' I know it's not gonna be dealt with in a single Kodak moment here. But what are we supposed to do next?"_

_ The girls exchanged a nonplussed look then shrugged. "Ooh. I know! Standard procedure." Buffy suddenly bounced off the couch with renewed determination. "When things are of the way bad and freaking me out-"_

_ "Go see Giles." Dawn finished and joined her sister in heading out the door._

* * *

><p><em> "Giles, Darling. You're going to break the blade." Vance and Willow sat on the bench in the basement and watched Giles and Xander fence. The two older children were all asleep upstairs, curled together in their grandparents' bed, while the baby slept in Willow's arms.<em>

_ "Yes, well, seeing as I can't stick it where I want it-" Giles lunged and Xander yelped, "I might as well."_

_ "G-Man!" Xander sidestepped and parried. "Unresolved anger issues?"_

_ "Yes. Dating back to 1999, actually." Giles turned from the boy and went to the training dummy. "When the bastard couldn't pick her up for her birthday."_

_ "But wouldn't you have made her cancel anyway? She had that insane vampire test and..." Willow wilted under a sudden furious glare from the swordsman. "Shutting up now." She concluded meekly._

_ "I hated him for missing her birthday. Every one I've ever known about. I hate him for missing her graduation. Her death. Joyce's funeral. Dawn's birthdays." Each memory earned a slice off of the sandbag and stuffing victim he attacked. _

_ "Whoa." Xander placed his sword on the rack and moved back to his wife's side. "Check out the angry side."_

_ Giles didn't hear him. "Every hospital visit. For Dawn. For Buffy. For Joyce. Every night she didn't come home until sunrise... Every broken heart..."_

_ "Rupert, your blood pressure." Vance got to her feet nervously. Her husband, always intense in his quiet deliberation or his carefree wild side, had never looked this upset before. It was killing her to watch him torture himself. It would be for nothing, she was sure. Giles didn't give love lightly, didn't trust easily. He loved Buffy and Dawn with a father's love, and they would never throw that away, no matter who came into their lives._

_ But Giles didn't hear his beloved, lost in a tunnel of anger and images that haunted him. He made a violent swipe and cried, "For making me the father when I was so ill-equipped to be one!" He hurled the sword and it struck cleanly through the breast of the target and remained there, vibrating slightly. _

_ "That's not true!" Willow rose and walked to him as he stood, facing angrily away, back rising and falling as he breathed harshly through thinned lips. "You're the best father. Ever. I know. I had a textbook definition of a stable two parent family and my dad occasionally emails me and they came over -once. Anyway. I had a dad who was around. But compared to you, he's a- a- Xander, help me out."_

_ "A suckmeister?"_

_ "Yes! A big, total suckmeister!" Willow pulled on Giles' arm and he turned slowly. "I know you didn't want the job, or-or like it-"_

_ "Oh no, Willow." Giles shook his head, speaking quietly, anger settling, seriousness taking over his tone, his eyes. "I was ill-prepared and failed often. But I love this 'job'. And that is the final reason why I hate him." His head suddenly dipped and he sniffed in hard before tilting his graying head back to survey the ceiling. "For coming in now, to take away what I've grown to love."_

_ Silence. Then-_

_ "Seriously?" Dawn's voice was strident as it poured through the open door at the top of the basement steps. "What was that? With the manful tear and resolute spine stiffening? Masterpiece theater audition?"_

_ "Ooh, she said resolute." Buffy was behind her sister as they plowed down the staircase. "You taught her to talk like that." _

_ Giles blushed and reached for his glasses. His arms never made it that far. Buffy was hanging onto one, Dawn was pressed to the other. "G-girls, I expected you to-"_

_ "Cry, sob, do the guilt thing?" Buffy supplied. _

_ "Erm. Yes."_

_ "Did it."_

_ "I kicked a table over." Dawn added._

_ "Ah. That is to say- Ah. Really?" Giles' look of embarrassment was turning into one of confusion._

_ "Yep. And there's probably more to come. Later." Buffy rested her chin on his upper arm and peered at him. "You're really smart. But that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."_

_ "Even if our dad came back, you don't lose anything." Dawn scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the real deal and that guy lost all his chances."_

_ Buffy was hesitant about that. "I'll give him a chance. If he tries. But- it'll take time. A looooong time. And even if I built a relationship with him again-"_

_ "He'd have to have some massively good excuse. Like amnesia or being in a coma." Dawn cut in._

_ "I was saying," Buffy talked over the interruption, "that even if he ever gets back into our lives- you're still the father. Okay? We're a family. Remember?"_

_ "That's right." Xander chimed in. "Giles is the dad, we were the four kids, and Spike was the scoundrel who'd stolen the eldest girl."_

_ "Add in some grandbabies and a hot new stepmom and we're good to go." Dawn tugged on his arm._

_ "Don't let anyone tell you you're not the real dad. Even me." Buffy gave him a wincing, apologetic stare. "You know how sometimes the stupidity gets loose?"_

_ "Yes, in all of us." Giles shook his head at his own folly. How could he have doubted for even a second... never mind. Didn't bear thinking about. "I am sorry for this- for this sudden upheaval. Have you called him?"_

_ "No. What are we supposed to say? 'Glad you remembered you have kids'?" Dawn smacked her forehead. _

_ "I don't know what to do. I don't know what he wants. It's like- like you think you know this person, and if it were ten years ago I'd be like, 'Ooh, Dad's here, shopping, ice skating, father-daughter time.' But it's been _ten years_ with nothing but a couple phone calls- and nothing since Sunnydale went kablooie. What am I supposed to do, what does he even want? What could possibly make him suddenly want to get back in my life? And why didn't he want to before?" _

_ "Not to mention- your lives have changed so much. You're a married woman, a mother, part of a massive organization for the greater good, though he doesn't know that. Dawn, you're gaining acclaim in the journalism world, you're grown up, engaged, about to be married." Giles pondered._

_ Xander cast a watchful eye on Spike and unobtrusively left the huddle around Giles. "What's the deal?" He whispered._

_ "Wish she'd stop torturing herself." Spike growled softly._

_ "Yeah, yeah, but that's the burden of bring the Chosen One for so long before she was part of the Chosen Bunch. What do we do about _this,_ as in Mr. Summers wanting to suddenly do quality time or whatever? Joey's family is flying in tomorrow, a few of our guys are coming in the day after, there's the massive 'hide the abnormal' job to do on all our houses, and let's not forget about the actual rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself. God, what is it with Summers people and bad timing?"_

_ "I don't know, but he's not screwin' up Bit's big day." _

_ "What if he wants to make nice?" Xander asked._

_ "Then he can sit in on the ceremony if he wants." Spike shrugged. "Up to her. But if he says anything to hurt my girls..." The threat hung in the air like a black, humid storm cloud._

_ "Make it look like an accident, okay?"_

_ "That won't be necessary." Giles cool voice, slightly amused, a touch perturbed, entered into their private discussion."Since when has this family not been able to handle a crisis, even one as painful, o-or troubling, as this one?"_

_ "We'll do whatever you want us to do, Luv." Joey stepped close to Dawn. _

_ Dawn and Buffy exchanged a glance. "We'll call him. In the morning." Buffy spoke with her authoritative voice. "He came all the way out here, right? We can call him. Can't we?" The leadership voice had gone back into nervous, uncertain territory._

_ "Yeah. We'll call. In the meantime- was I not perfectly clear about the shitload of work we have to do?" Dawn became loud and brisk, clapping her hands for emphasis as she surveyed her family members. "Chop chop, people! Wedding in T minus two and a few." _

_ The family dispersed with hugs and comforting words all around, couples and families opting to go home and begin "demystifying" their dwellings._

* * *

><p><em> "Dawn?" Joey held her hand as they walked home, not the smartest thing to do in this town, but they were prepared more than most. <em>

_ "Yeah?" _

_ "D'you think that we could get up early an' hide the herbs, weaponry, an' what not?"_

_ "Sure. You tired?" Dawn felt his body shift subtly, large frame, double of hers, as he came behind her, enfolding her even as they walked. Her living shield. She didn't need protecting. But she loved the offer._

_ "Not tired. Just ready to go to bed." _

_ She caught the undercurrent in his voice, and at that moment, nothing in the world sounded better than the prospect of falling asleep, sated, in his arms. "Deal."_

* * *

><p><em> "You could just glamour this whole place, Wills." Xander carried a sleeping Tanya over his shoulder and up the stairs.<em>

_ "Sustaining that much magic for three or four days on this big a space?" Willow hissed._

_ "Piece of cake for the Willster." Xander shrugged. _

_ "But-" Willow reached up and stroked Tanya's hair as it fell in a long soft flop of brown across Xander's broad shoulder, "not so yummy for her." _

_ "I know. I'll be down in a little bit to help you start putting all the spell books in boxes and take them to the basement. Do you think we should label them 'Halloween decorations' ? Dramatic irony, and keep people from asking questions."_

_ "I'm more concerned about what you're going to label the basement itself! Where are we going to put all the weapons?" _

_ "Ummm. Drop sheets on all the walls? Tell them the basement is off limits? It's not like they'll be coming over anyway."_

_ "But in case. If things go wrong and Dawn and Buffy are having father issues and Giles gets involved- it'll probably mean everyone ends up over here."_

_ "Oh crap. Remind me to pick up some extra crackers and nibbly things in case we end up play host and hostess."_

_ Xander entered Tanya's room and deftly slid her into her bed, tenderly spreading her hair out on the pillow. "Goodnight, Princess."_

_ "Night, Cupcake." Willow kissed her forehead then each cheek. "Right. Work."_

_ "Big project." _

_ Neither of the parents moved. They stared at the sleeping form. An accident that had become the most perfect thing either of them had ever witnessed. _

_ "Why do you think some parents are so bad at their jobs?" Willow finally whispered._

_ "No licensing exam?" Xander quipped. He received a swift elbow for his troubles and then put his arm around her shoulders. "It makes no sense, huh? Why some are bad who should be good."_

_ "Maybe they're not bad." Willow swallowed hard. "Just not- involved."_

_ "No, Wills. Mine were bad." Xander sighed and pulled her close._

_ "It scares me." Willow buried her head on his shoulder with painful suddenness. "I mean- look at us! We didn't plan for this, we have dangerous jobs, there're swords and stakes and magic stuff everywhere. Forget baby proofing when the kid next door was able to lift up his crib by the time he was three and Tanya was able to undo locks by looking at them when she was two!"_

_ "That totally came in handy when you locked your keys in the car."_

_ "Xan!"_

_ "Shhh. Don't wake her."_

_ "I don't know if we're going to be good at this! Buffy's dad started out okay and ended up a total absentee jerk!" _

_ The pair had a moment of locked eyes and considerations. "You know what, Wills? Some people who should suck at being parents are awesome at it. Look at Spike. He love his kids, and ours, like- like he can't exist without them around. But he's still kind of evil. If we're thinking about a person's whole life, well, he's probably eaten more toddlers than I've seen in my -"_

_ "Xander. Scary mental places. Stop now." Willow whimpered._

_ "Good point. Look at Giles. Mr. English-Tweedy- Call me by my last name- I'll hug you if you're dying but not-otherwise- guy. Look at what he turned into."_

_ "Mr. Awesome, in his own quiet way."_

_ "He's always there when we need him. He didn't have to do that at all, but he sure as heck didn't have to do that for us. Just like Spike doesn't have to love Tanya, too, but he does." He paused and frowned. "I just realized that that no longer freaks me out. At all. Am I growing as a person or getting senile?"_

_ "Let's go with growth." Willow smiled. "You're right. It's not some set pattern. It's all about how hard you try."_

_ Xander looked down on his little girl, his miracle, the first thing in his life that he felt there were no blemishes on. Even his relationship with Willow had its scars and wounds, his life, his family, his education, himself- tarnished. But she was perfection. "I'll never let her down, Will." His voice was slightly thickened, remaining eye suddenly blinking unshed tears. _

_ "I know." Willow believed that with all her heart. "You've never let any of us down." _

_ Xander shook his head and continued to look at his daughter as she slept. "That's not true. But it doesn't matter. 'Cause I'm gonna try. And it's all about the trying." _

_ With another soft kiss, Xander squeezed Willow's hand, smoothed Tanya's hair and headed downstairs, off to start making their house reach 'normal people' expectations. _

_ Willow watched him go. She sat on the foot of her child's bed, as she often did at night, and watched her sleep, watched her dream. "Your daddy's never going to leave you. Or stop being there for you. If he was far away, he'd find his way home. He - he would make the world full of nothing but vanilla ice cream and unicorns if he could, 'cause he knows how much you like them." Willow smiled down at her daughter and saw Tanya smile slightly in her sleep. "He won't care if you're different, or- or even if you did something bad. He'd try and save you." Her mind flashed back to her best friend, always, always, always, there for her, always trying to save her, even from herself. "I hope you know, Mommy'll do the same thing, Sweetie."_

_ Willow got up, straightening a toy here, putting a tee shirt and a few socks in the little white hamper, adjusting the blinds, working her way slowly towards the door, heart aching in a curious way. How someone could be a parent, feel this bond- and let it fade. How did that happen? _

_ "I don't think it's _all _about trying. It's about love. If you love them more than you love yourself." Willow shut the door behind her, then leaned against it, looking up, seeing her baby sleeping in her mind's eye. "Love you, Tanya. That much."_

* * *

><p><em> Buffy finally laid down. Daylight would happen in just a few hours. Her mind was still running on top speed, even if her body was begging for sleep.<em>

_ "You can call him at eight." Spike rolled over and looked at her as she snuggled in beside him._

_ "How'd you- oh. Mind reading?"_

_ "Little bit." Spike pulled her close. "I knew you'd be thinking about it. But seriously, Luv, don't pull an all nighter for his sake. Eight's still plenty early."_

_ "I can't sleep though." She pouted. _

_ "Oh, pouty. Since you're up anyway..." Spike's soft smile turned seductive as he stared at her pretty little mouth._

_ "I'm not the only one apparently." Buffy giggled and felt something cool and hard brush her thigh. "Not such a surprise. Except, yeah- after all this time, aren't we supposed to be bored with the pouts and the 'upness'? Seven year itch?"_

_ "Not me. Not with you. You, Buffy Summers," Spike rolled on top of her and cupped her face in his hands, "are one of those forever loves."_

_ "Thank you." Buffy pulled his chin to hers, kiss deepening, hands seeking. _

_ Spike stopped himself, head tilted. "Pet, you've got tears. Precious, can you try to let him out of your mind for just a bit? Can't I distract you? I'm willin' to pull out all the stops." Spike rolled his tongue against her claim and across the sensitive spots on the hollow of her throat and behind her earlobe. _

_ "I'm not thinking about him. I'm thinking about you." Buffy nuzzled her throat to him with a soft moan. "I felt really lost tonight. Left alone."_

_ "I'll never leave you." Spike pulled his head from where it was sinking and stared into her eyes. "It's an impossibility for us. Can't even say 'til death do us part, 'cause death is an all or none deal for us, an' our place in the afterlife is built for two."_

_ "I know that. I know it, and I love it." Buffy arched her spine to emphasize her cleavage and tell Spike his previous attentions were welcomed. He took the hint, latching onto one milk-swollen breast gently. She arched further off the mattress and they twined together, on their sides now. "Spike." _

_ "My everything."_

_ "I have everything I want. All I need. When I'm with you- I don't care who's not around. Who hasn't been there for me. I know who's here now. Know who's not leaving me." _

_ Spike watched her roll again, now on his back, watching his earthbound angel climbing to his hips, hands trailing up and down taut ice white muscles. "We're gonna be fine, okay? I know you don't know what's goin' on, an' you hate that."_

_ Buffy pounced on him, dark gleam in her eyes as she smirked. "You're right. I only like Spike-surprises." _

_ He surged up into her as she sank down on him. "It'll be okay. You stop worryin' about this, because you can handle it." He wrapped his fists in her own as they rocked together, hands on his sternum. _

_ "I know. You have my back." _

_ "Always have."_


	25. Chapter 25

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Author's note: Wordy. Mushy. Skim if you gotta._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, and HowistheDramaQueen._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXV

(Where it goes: In the midst of Part XXXIII of Starting Over)

**Real Truths**

_"You call." Dawn sat tensely in the dining room of Buffy and Spike's home, which still felt like her home, too. It was a little past eight in the morning and both couples and the two Summers children were sitting around the table. The portable phone and the slip of paper sat in front of them, and the four adults regarded them like a cobra in a basket._

_ "But I don't know what to say." Buffy protested._

_ "Yeah, but I'm hostile." Dawn muttered and pushed the phone to her. "And I'm the bride. By right of being the bride..." She trailed off with an imperious wave that was just part of the brave face she was wearing._

_ "I know, Dawn, but I'm nervous." _And I hate that I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? It's my_ father._ Oh yeah. That's why.

_ "If you don't want to call, I will." Joey offered, not so much out of a desire to do the deed, but out of a desire to spare his girlfriend from doing it. "Ask him to meet us for coffee or something?"_

_ "I wanna be there. Make it someplace vamp friendly." Spike reminded him._

_ "It's going to be emotional. Make it someplace hormone friendly, too." Buffy sighed. _

_ "What are we doin' Mum?" William stopped trying to stuff the remainder of his banana in his mouth and looked hopefully at his parents. "Is it fun or is it wedding stuff?"_

_ "Hey! I'm going to get you for that, pipsqueak. Wedding stuff_ is_ fun." Dawn pulled him into her lap and blew a raspberry on the back of his neck._

_ "It's not fun. Probably." Buffy reluctantly admitted. "Someone's in town. Your-" She stopped. She refused to say 'grandfather'. They had a grandfather. Giles. And what if Hank met the kids- and then dropped out of sight for another handful of years or a whole decade? She didn't want to introduce a new grandfather only to lose him. _

_ Spike growled softly and adjusted SJ in his arm, pulling her closer. "I don't think the kiddies need to be there. At the first meeting, d'you, Luv?" He tried to keep his voice light. But he was projecting loud and clear, 'You need to size him up. I don't like the idea of William meetin' him and then Hank bein' the same sort of grandfather as he is a father. William's smart, an' he'll wonder what happened if your dad swoops in, spoils him for a weekend, and then drops off the radar 'til he's in high school.'_

_ Dawn was less subtle about keeping William out of the conversation. "Will, go brush your teeth, you have banana breath." She scooted her nephew off her lap. "And brush your hair, little boy, you've gotta look extra handsome today to meet all your new relatives!"_

_ "Niblet!" Spike hissed as his son ran from the room._

_ "She means my folks." Joey defended._

_ "Exactly. Buffy, you can't bring the kids with us this first time!"_

_ "He wouldn't hurt them or something!" Buffy sank back in her chair. "But you're right. God, I hate that you're right! He's our dad, not some evil villain."_

_ "And he's given you more grief with a little note than any ten villains with massive battles." Spike pointed out._

_ "I know." Buffy sighed and reached for the phone. "Coffee. Just the four of us?"_

_ "For now. Then who knows?" Dawn shrugged. "Maybe it'll be amazing and prefect and we'll end up having an extra guest at Giles' tonight for the big family shindig. _

_ "Hm. Maybe we could have him here?" Buffy didn't want to do that, exactly. But what if it all went wrong? She might be able to keep from making a scene in the middle of the Pine Loft, the main coffee place in town, but Dawn and Spike? No way._

_ "I think that's a good plan." Joey spoke up. " You can have the kids right next door at Willow's and Giles could pop in if you wanted him to."_

_ "I don't think Giles wants to spend quality time with our dad." Dawn laughed and poked at the plate of fruit she hadn't touched._

_ "No, but good doctor' junior's right." Spike nodded. "Giles is someone who's always been there for big moments. An' this could be fairly big. Anyway, he's probably a little anxious about his girls today."_

_ "I'm bettin' that's a common state of affairs for the dads round here today." Joey pulled Dawn against him, head resting atop of hers. "C'mon. Sooner we get started, sooner we can get done."_

_ "I still wish I didn't have to do this. I've got a billion angry butterflies in my stomach."_

_ "Well, I'm not doing it. I'm the bride, remember. You're the maid of honor. You must bow down to my whims for the next couple of days." Dawn gave her sister a small cheeky smile. _

_ Buffy rolled her eyes and began to dial._

_ Spike said nothing, but tucked his youngest child closer to his heart, still but overflowing. _See, little one, no one should be callin' that man at all. When daughters argue over who_ has_ to call the father instead of who _gets_ to- that man's done somethin' wrong. Doesn't deserve a second chance.

_ Sarah Jane blinked sleepily and nuzzled in, looking up at him with dozy eyes before snuggling back to sleep. _But who am I to talk? I thank God every day your mum gave me a second chance...S'pose I can let her own father have one.

* * *

><p><em>Hank Summers woke up with an annoyed moan. The red numbers on the bedside clock showed it was just after eight. He grabbed his cell phone once he located it and identified as the source of his abrupt wake up. Who the hell would call him this early? "Hello?"<em>

_ A pause. "Hi. It-it's me."_

_ "Me who?" Hank rubbed his hair and sat up. _

_ "Me. Buffy." Buffy tried not sound hurt but she was. Stabbed straight though. _He doesn't even know my voice now? He only has two daughters, you'd think they'd rate kinda high on the voice recognition scale.

_ "Oh! Oh, Buffy. Gosh, sweetheart, it's been so long! Forgive your old man, I had some jet lag and I'm a little groggy." He laughed._

_ Buffy's heart lifted and she smiled around the table at her family. "No problem. So. Um. You're in town?"_

_ "Yeah, I came to see you two. How're my girls?"_

_ "Great. Yep. Great. Busy. In fact we're all getting ready for-" Buffy felt better, but then worried as she spoke. What was too much to say, what was okay to tell? Across the table, Dawn gave her the slit throat sign and Buffy fumbled out, " -ready for a really busy, fun weekend."_

_ "Not too busy for your old man, I hope." Hank smiled broadly._

_ "No! Of- of course not. Can you come over for some coffee? Or tea, we have tea, I can make breakfast." Spike and Dawn exchanged a glance. They spoke with their eyes, wide and critical or puzzled, seeming to say, "Whoa. Regress much?" That didn't sound like the confident Buffy they knew and loved. _

_ Even Buffy realized it. _Make time for him? We always have time for him? We have Dawn's wedding and a million things to do. This is one of Dawn's biggest life moments and he's crashing it. But that wouldn't matter if it were Giles, Xander, Willow, Vance, Joey, even Wesley or Faith or any one of a dozen other people I can think of. We'd be happy to make time for them- but that's because they've always made time for us.

_ If Hank noticed the slightly panicky tone, he gave no indication. His voice was warm and relaxed. "Coffee sounds great. Where's a good place around here?"_

_ "Why don't you come here? You know, so we can really catch up." Buffy suggested._

_ "Great. I know the way now. In what? Forty-five or so?"_

_ "Yeah, yeah that's fine. But not to Dawn's place. Our house is about five minutes past there. You'll see a sign for Sunrise Park and then there's the development entrance. You go past the-"_

_ "Wait, Dawnie has her own place? You two don't live together?"_

_ "We did. Until -" Buffy closed her eyes. Dawn didn't want to talk about the wedding, so did that mean she didn't want to talk about Joey? "Help me out here." Buffy mouthed. _

_ "Just say until a few months ago!" Dawn hissed._

_ "Until a few months ago."_

_ "You two are awfully young to live by yourselves. Well, that's my girls. Real go getters, just like their daddy."_

_ "I'm going to toss my guts up, Luv." Spike whispered through gritted teeth. He could hear everything on the other end of the conversation with Hanks loud, cheerful tones and his extra sensitive ears. _A go getter, hm? Just like their father? Bull. Shit. Like herself, like a slayer, and Dawn in Buffy's footsteps and then in her own right. With Joyce's example and my own flawed help, and Joey's love and acceptance. _They were nothing like that man._

_ Dawn glared and smacked Spike as Buffy sighed. "Yeah, well. We grew up fast, I guess. Without Mom." _Or you.

_ "Well, I can't wait to see you! What's the address, Princess?_

_ Buffy told him and tried again to give directions, but Hank interrupted. _

_ "Wait a minute. I tried to find you, and only a D. Summers came up."_

_ "You tried to find us?" Buffy's heart leapt and Dawn's stoic eyes softened._

_ "Yeah, my uh- a friend got me the address for Dawn, but the only other Summers in the town is a William Summers."_

_ "Oh. Right. William Summers. Th-that's my husband." Her voice seemed to hit a snag and she cleared her throat as she explained._

_ "You're _married_!" Hank squawked. "Well, when did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?" He cried._

_ "About seven years ago, Dad. And we called you. The day of." Bitterness crept into her voice now._

_ "How- what? What?" Hank couldn't form coherent thoughts for a few spastic seconds, and then he g_ave_ up. "Oh. I must've been out of town."_

_ "Must've been." _You were in Europe with your secretary. I just wanted lunch. Half an hour. The temp didn't know how to find you. She probably wrote it on a little sticky note and you went "I'll call her later" and then never did. You did that a lot..._Buffy swallowed down a lot of angry thoughts and forced herself to sound calm. "See you in forty five minutes. We can talk then."_

_ "Good. Good, I want to meet this young man." _

_ Spike overheard and guffawed once, "Young?", then turned it into a cough._

_ "You will." Buffy hung up and put the phone down on the table with a thud. _

_ "What did he say?" Dawn demanded, leaning forward._

_ "He looked for us. But... he can't have looked for too long. I gave him our number when we moved here. I left a message. Maybe he never got the message." Buffy got up and started frantically putting things away, toys, books, dishes, all with a distracted look in her eye. "He'll be here soon. We have to get the place cleaned up."_

_ "It looks pretty un-magical to me." Joey observed._

_ "That's 'cause Insomni-Slayer couldn't sleep after the note you got." Spike stood up as well, and held still, watching his girl run to and fro. "She an' I have everything locked up that oughta be out of sight for normal people to keep sleepin' at night. Right, Luv?" _

_ "Do I look okay? Oh, Sarah threw up on my shoulder and I didn't even notice it. I have to change." Buffy ran up the stairs as William ran down. _

_ "Mummy, I-"_

_ "Just a minute, Honey." Buffy patted his head hurriedly as they passed each other._

_ "I'll take care of whatever it is." Spike called. _

_ "I don't believe this." Dawn muttered. "How can she do this to herself? She's acting stupid over a guy who's given us one phone call since forever ago!"_

_ "Beautiful, you're strong in a different way." Joey hushed her before Spike and his little sis could start verbally sparring, which was likely by the way Spike's head jerked around when anyone, even Dawn, seriously criticized his wife. Dawn nodded and Spike nodded in return before refocusing on the one fear standing out in his mind._

_ "I'm not lettin' him get anywhere near -" Spike broke off as William came up to him, untied sneakers outstretched. -_anywhere near our kids. Until I get a good look at this bastard. _But he couldn't say that. Not in front of his son. "Guess what?"_

_ "What?" The little boy asked. _

_ "You're gonna spend the mornin'- maybe the whole day, with Tanya an' Uncle Xan. He has to build somethin' for the weddin' an' you have to promise me you_ won't _help him."_

_ "But I like to help." _

_ "I know that. But-"_

_ "But he'll never learn to do it by himself if you and Tanya keep helping him." Dawn added teasingly. "Do you need me to pack up anything for the itty bitty?" Dawn asked Spike._

_ "Just a couple bottles out of the fridge. Nice thing about livin' in each others' pockets. Everyone has everything for everybody on hand." Spike tousled William's hair and stood after he'd laced his shoes. "Go get yourself something to take to Tanya's. An' look after your little sis while you're there, alright, Little Mate?"_

_ "Right, Da'." And William was off. _

_ "She does need a new nappy. An' s'pose I better go calm the storm upstairs." Spike took his little girl upstairs with a sigh. "You mind waiting over here for a minute? Go let Ozzie an' Harriet know they've been drafted as sitters?"_

_ "Sure." _

_ "No problem."_

_ Once Spike was gone, Dawn and Joey exchanged a look._

_ "Well, this is going to be awkward." Dawn moaned._

_ "I'm sorry, Luv. Would it be easier if I wasn't around? You wouldn't have to explain me? At first, anyway."_

_ "No. Way." Dawn shook her head vehemently. She took his hand as they headed out the back door of the Summers' house and into the walkway connecting them to Willow and Xander's. She clutched his hand tightly. Here was a man who'd willingly signed on for a life of explaining away unexplainable situations and who'd showed her off proudly to his family. Explain him? She should be showing him off, using him as a model. A "look what real men are like, see the definition of a long-haul guy" prime example. "I hope I didn't make you feel like that! I only was giving Buffy the 'talk and you're a dead woman' act because I don't want-" Dawn winced and closed her eyes, "I don't want him at the wedding. As things are right now. Am I a horrible daughter? Am I being a bad girlfriend?"_

_ "Now stop that. You're an amazing girlfriend, and you're doing just fine. Your sis is doing enough inner turmoil for a dozen, let alone two."_

_ "She does that."_

_ "Never seen it."_

_ "Well, yeah, she hasn't done it in a long time, because she's finally got what she wants and needs, a family who loves her, a guy who thinks she's perfect just like she is, beautiful kids, a wicked cool little sister, a kick-ass job with decent money and danger she can face because she's got killer backup. But throw our dad into it and it's shot to hell." _

_ Dawn paused at Xander and Willow's porch before knocking. "She's going crazy. I just want to resort to my cowardly little girl instincts."_

_ Joey smiled. "No such thing, Luv. What do you want to do?"_

_ "Mm, the best thing would be something we can't do in under an hour and still look presentable." She giggled. "So the next best thing is to hug Willow and call Giles."_

_ "I wouldn't mind talking to Vee right now, honestly." Joey rubbed the back of his neck and tapped the door._

_ "Parent vibe." Dawn smiled. "Some people have it, some people don't."_

* * *

><p><em> "Have yourself a heart attack in a minute if you don't settle." Spike took both of Buffy's hands and stilled her as she paced. The kids were packed off, Dawn and Joey'd decided to do a quick run to Giles' place and get their frustrations out and discuss the plan for the morning. Now it was just him and a girl who reminded him a lot of the Buffy he'd known years ago. The queen of blaming herself. "Oi!" Spike felt her fingers dig in suddenly to his hands and though it didn't hurt, it surprised him.<em>

_ "I can hear you thinking! I can tell you think I'm getting all stressed for nothing and being stupid!" She hissed._

_ "No. No, Luv, not like that." Spike quickly challenged, wrapping her to his chest. "I just feel so- helpless."_

_ "You?" Buffy laughed softly into his shoulder. _

_ "Yeah, me. I can't protect you from torturing yourself, even after all we did last night an' this morning, knowin' how much you're loved, all you've got- I still can't take away that scared feelin' he gives you."_

_ "Not scared. Exactly." Buffy pulled back and he could see the worry in her eyes as she rubbed her stomach. _

_ "Yes, scared. Scared he'll leave you again or scared he'll reject you... Maybe scared he'll get hurt or maybe scared of your own reaction, like you won't want him here or he'll ruin Dawn's wedding. Not exactly sure what you're scared of, but I can always sense your fear." He raked his hands through his hair and then submitted himself to Buffy's nervous hands patting it back into place._

_ "I'm afraid of all of the above." She whispered. "But I shouldn't be. If he leaves- life goes back to normal." _How is not having your father around normal? But it is what it is. I'll just have another dose of pain left behind.

_ Spike locked eyes with her, brought his hands up to her neck gently, thumb lightly stroking her claim. "I don't know what happens next. But I know what happens, no matter what. You an' I. _We_ happen. Forever. An' there's no more pain between us an' I'll do my best to make sure any pain you ever have goes away."_

_ "Thank you." Buffy brought her lips to his, her hands to his neck as well, and they held onto each other._

_ "Anytime."_

* * *

><p><em> "Can't he even tell time?" Dawn thumped her empty coffee cup on the table. "Pour."<em>

_ "No! Wait until he gets here. He's not _that _late." _Just fifteen minutes or so. C'mon, Dad, don't mess this up...

_ "Only a few years." Dawn mumbled. "Pour."_

_ "This is a windy development. He could have turned left instead of right or right instead of left and be wandering around cul de sacs and..." The doorbell chimed. "See?" Buffy darted to the doorway and Spike hung back, needing to stay out of sunlight._

_ "Go on." Spike gave Dawn a little nod. _

_ She looked at him, eyes suddenly a little uncertain. She'd been so clear about how he wasn't real and she'd never even met him, had nothing to do with him- and yet false memories lingered. The man who bought her cotton candy at fairs, who helped her ride a shiny pink tricycle, who called her "Sunshine" and said she was named Dawn because she lit up his life._

_ And who only had the same memories she did, because after somebody forced all of those nice ones in his head, he'd been out of the picture, and had no new ones. But Buffy had always been there. Buffy died for her. Buffy tried to be both parents when she really needed parents herself. "I'll go be the back up." Dawn huffed and hurried down the hall._

_ Buffy was standing frozen in the doorway, hand on the knob. When Dawn came up behind her, she let out a shaky sigh and smiled. "Here we go." She turned the knob and flung open the door._

_ Hank Summers stood in khakis, polo shirt, sunglasses, and beaming smile. "Girls!" He swooped in, hugged Buffy hard, and moved to Dawn, leaving both of them standing stiffly and trying to smile and reply at the same time._

_ "Hi!" Buffy managed to say. _

_ "Hi." Dawn smiled but it wobbled._

_ "Let me look at you! Oh." Hank touched Buffy's cheek. "You haven't changed much at all. Still that little cutie, aren't you, queen of the campus, breaking hearts, Princess?"_

_ "Uh. No." _Not since I got married. Not since I graduated college already. Oh God, what if he means high school?

_ "Oh, no of course not." Hank shook his head at his own folly. "What am I thinking? You just look so young."_

_ "Yeah. Good skin care regimen." Buffy smiled with false brightness. _It's called getting claimed. You don't want to try it, trust me, it doesn't work for you unless you're a one woman kinda guy. Which you aren't...

_"And look at my little Pumpkin Belly!" Hank turned his attention to Dawn, who was actually able to look at him eye to eye, long legged and slim. "Guess I can't call you that anymore, can I?" _

_ "Not really." Dawn's voice was lukewarm, her smile plastered on and small to begin with. _You don't have the right to call me _that,_ that's for damn sure.

_ "You two are beauties! Ah." He put his hands on his hips, surveying them critically. "Your mother'd be so proud."_

_ "We know." Both girls replied automatically, then shared a grin._

_ "And married. Buffy, this must be-" Hank looked at the row of photos lining the wall leading into the house, and gasped, "You've got a son?" His eyes darted past the photo of Spike and Buffy, a casual one someone had taken during some nighttime event, a birthday or anniversary judging by the balloons and cake on the table. His gaze locked on a picture of a giggling, toothless baby in blue overalls and clutching a teddy bear. "You had a _baby_?"_

_ "Uh, yes. Two. Um, let's go get that coffee." Buffy escaped past Dawn and hurried into the dining room, a deer in the headlights look in her wide green eyes._

_ "Two?" Hank turned to Dawn as she followed her sister._

_ "Two. William and Sarah Joyce." Dawn let herself relax enough to brag. "William's four and Sarah J- we call her that sometimes- is just a few months. They're gorgeous, aren't they?" She paused by a photo of Tanya, William, and Sarah Joyce on a blanket. _

_ "Yes. They are. The older little girl, she's not-"_

_ "She's their cousin." Dawn said swiftly and motioned Hank ahead of her. "Dad, this is Sp- William and Joey."_

_ "Hank." Spike nodded stiffly and extended his hand._

_ "A pleasure." Joey extended his._

_ "English! You two brothers?"_

_ "Soon enough." Spike muttered and winked at Dawn as Joey shook his head. _

_ "William. You're Buffy's husband." Hank gave him a long look, and did not exactly like what he saw. Slicked back hair. Bleached to platinum. Older than Buffy by several years by the look of him, and had some hard lines on his face. Too pale, man looked like he had prison pallor or never did an honest day's work. Big black boots and faded black jeans, a red shirt over a black tee. Biker. He'd just bet he was a biker. And his hands were hard, his handshake was like iron. Thug. "What do you do for a living?"_

_ "I'm one of the head consultants for the New York branch of FFG Alliance."_

_ "Really?" Hank's tone changed immediately, as did his opinion. Businessman. Pale because he spent too much time in his office. Had that hard look to him, a little intimidating to the competition. Corporate shark. "And what area do you consult in?"_

_ "Take overs and -rival corporation background information." Spike improvised. Well, they did take over bad guys and he was the insider expert on being evil..._

_ "That's very impressive. FFG Alliance, hm? Never heard of them."_

_ 'Neither have I!' Buffy mentally challenged Spike. 'What the heck is FFG Alliance? I mean, the Alliance obviously, but-' _

_ 'Forces For Good, Pet. How's that for a cover'? Now go on, your dad is lookin' at us funny'._

_ "It's okay, Dad. Few people have. We do a lot of silent partner work." Buffy jumped back in. _No one needs to know how the evil is stopped- just as long as it's stopped.

_ "We're based in England." Spike added. _

_ "You work for them, too?" Hank looked at his eldest with surprise. He'd known Buffy was bright but he'd always thought she'd be into something athletic or artsy. Not corporate. _

_ "Oh. Just a little. Training. Advising. Occasionally. I'm kinda busy with family stuff, though. Being a mom to a hyper toddler and an infant takes a lot of time."_

_ Hank remained focused on business in spite of that comment. "FFG Alliance. Doing well? Are you traded here or only in the European markets? I'm actually headed to a meeting in New York and we're talking about some European hot stock picks to -"_

_ "We're not publicly traded." Spike cut him off with a cold smile. "Buffy, I'll get the coffee. You sit an' catch up." _I'll get out of here before I smack him. Probably got the stock market ticker where his heart should be...

_ "That's right, so much to hear about. Joey- you say you're not William's brother?"_

_ "No relation." Joey darted his eyes at Dawn, wanting to say more, he was good under pressure, but he wasn't used to this particular type._

_ "Although-" Dawn began but Hank was sizing up Joey. _

_ "And are you a student as well?" Hank liked him better on sight. Broad, tall, clean cut, nice posture, nice smile. Could've played All American if he'd been born in the right country._

_ As well as who?, Joey thought, but he answered politely, "Haven't been for years. Finished my internship about three an' a half years ago." Realizing just about every job in the world offered internships these days he continued, "I'm a doctor. Obstetrician primarily, general medicine secondarily."_

_ "Oh ho, a doctor," Hank winked at Dawn, "better hold onto this one."_

_ "I intend to." Dawn wrapped her arm through Joey's. _

_ Joey tightened his grip on her hand as it weaved through. "I'm quite proud to hold onto her myself, Sir." His voice hardened. "Dawn's the most amazin' girl in the universe, and I'm happy to say we're getting married."_

Uh-oh. One cat, minus bag. _Buffy bit her lip and stole a glance at Dawn. Instead of looking irritated or thrown off, Dawn looked downright smug and proud. _Geez, you never know with her.

He totally bragged on me. My dad is looking right through me like I'm not here. Maybe he doesn't really feel like I_ am_ here. But Joey thinks I'm all that and then some. He thinks I'm the catch because of who I am, not just a job title. _"Yes. We got engaged late last year." Dawn held out her hand to show off the sparkling ring._

_ "Just as long as you graduate first." Hank said indulgently._

_ Spike slammed a pot of coffee and the tray of cookies Buffy'd laid out down on the table with a bang. Graduation! Dawn'd been out of school, as in college, not "Watcher school", for two years. "Cream?" He asked in a voice that was as free from snarling as he could get it._

_ "I'm finished school, Dad. Two years ago." Dawn didn't touch the coffee that Joey poured her._

_ "Time flies." Hank took the cup Buffy handed him and waved off Spike's offer of cream. "Glad to see both of you doing so well."_

_ "Thanks." Buffy let her hand linger on her father's for a moment, looking at that pleased smile. _He's proud of us. He's happy. He's happy to see us. My dad is here. _"Thanks for coming."_

_ "Of course, Princess."_

_ "What have you been doing - all these years?" Buffy tried not to let her disappointment in him scream so loudly through the words._

_ At that question, Hank was off and running. His life read like a businessman's roller coaster, money made, lost, invested, returned, traveling the world as a tireless promoter and worker to climb the corporate ladder, until finally- success, his own business, and living the high life. "Needless to say, it's been a hectic couple years and you know the corporate world. Can't take a day off or someone is pushing you off the ladder and you're back in the basement again."_

_ "Yeah. We know, Dad. About always fighting to get back up." Dawn took Buffy's hand unobtrusively under the table and gave it a squeeze._

_ Hank had expected more accolades, something more than polite interest, but that was all he got, four frozen faces nodding with fixed smiles. _

_ This bloke's got dollar signs where his heart used to be, Joey thought bitterly, marveling at how different his Dawn was from this man, actually grateful that his dearest darling had been made out of cosmic energy into human form, hard as that must be- rather than having this pillock for a father. "What- erm- made you decide to come see your daughters after all this time?"_

_ Hank might've been thick skulled about many things but he'd heard an accusatory note, however faint, from all four of the people around this table and it finally chaffed. He wasn't sure why his girls weren't happy to see him, but he thought he could smooth that over with a little extra verbal petting. "It's because of your brilliant work, Dawn, Sweetie."_

_ "Mine? My work?" Dawn gave a flustered look at her three friends. Does he know? Is this some trick, or a trap? Is he okay with it?_

_ Spike had the same thoughts. His mind was racing, shouting in Buffy's head to be ready to run, he'd deal with him if this was something sinister._

_ "Your article. Made it all the way into the _LA Times_."_

_ "Oh. Yeah, yeah, some of them have been going national on the wire lately." Dawn laughed in relief. It was only her journalism he knew about. Everyone knew about that. The Clark Kent face of her Not-So-Superman identity. _

_ "That's our Bit!" Spike praised._

_ "She's brilliant, isn't she?"_

_ "More like scary! When she gets critical- ooh." Buffy high fived her little sister._

_ "Which article, Dad?" Dawn couldn't deny a tingle of pride. _My Dad read my work. My Dad came to find us- not because of the messages we sent or anything else, but my writing. It reached him. That's so cool. And so sad. He should've wanted to find us for a billion other reasons, because he loved us and he missed us and we called him...

_ "I'm not sure what it was called, Honey, but it was really good. When I saw Dawn Summers, reporting from New York, I was shocked my littlest girl had come so far!"_

_ "Oh- it's not that big of a deal. Only a few of my articles ever go anywhere outside of the state. So, forget about the title, I even forget some of my own headlines, just tell me what it was it about?" Dawn pressed._

_ Hank looked mildly embarrassed. "I know it was in Arts and Leisure. That's all Jasmine reads."_

_ "Jasmine?" Buffy's head shot up._

_ "My girlfriend. She pointed out your name and asked if it could be you. She knew I had a daughter in New York named Dawn. She thought I ought to look you two up since I'd be in New York anyway."_

_ "Was she your secretary? The one you took to Europe?" _On my wedding day. Why you couldn't be reached, why you got busy and distracted and never called to see if we were even okay. If my kids' town had turned into one of the world's largest craters- I'd call back.

_ "I did take her to Europe, a few weeks ago. How'd you know that?" Hank blinked._

_ "No, not weeks ago, _years _ago, right around when we called you to tell you we'd moved here and gave you our number." They hadn't given him much else at the time, afraid he'd be used for information by enemies, not knowing at that time what the fall out would be from the destruction of Sunnydale and the sharing of the Slayer powers. Had he kept in touch, they'd have given him more and more, all he needed to be part of the family. _

_ "Couldn't have been Jasmine, she and I just started dating four months ago."_

_ "You took her to Europe when you'd only been dating for four months?" Dawn squeaked, throat suddenly contracted in outrage. Her work was worthless. Her Dad didn't come because he found it and admired it. He found her name because someone pointed it out, and he was just passing through._

_ "Well-"_

_ "But you haven't taken me to -to even a _mall_ since I was 13!"_

_ Dawn's sudden fury took him aback. "You've never come out to visit, Baby."_

_ "Don't call me 'Baby'! I'm not your baby and I never was!"_

_ "Dawn Summers, you're an engaged woman. You're a bit too old to act out a sibling rivalry issue in front of your future husband!"_

_ "I think she's allowed to do whatever the hell she wants." Joey's normally relaxed face went steely._

_ "An' why should the girls fly halfway across the bloody world when you can't give 'em a ten second phone call?" Spike demanded. "How would they know when to come, Hank? How would they know if you're even in town unless you pick up the goddamn phone and call them back, or, here's a novel concept, you, as the father an' the adult- at least at the time, call your children _first_!" Spike also lashed out. Fatherhood and love had softened him- but not to the extent he could see this self-involved twit talk down to his girls. _

_ "Spike, please!" Buffy grabbed his arm and tugged him back to his seat. "Nothing gets solved by shouting!"_

_ "Spike, is it? You probably _are_ a biker!" Hank looked angry._

_ "No! I'm a husband an' a brother, an' a _father_! Want a few lessons, mate?"_

_ "I've been a father for twenty years Mister, and you've been one for four? What do you think you know-"_

_ "Almost thirty." Buffy's voice was soft but it cut through Hank's hectoring voice._

_ "What?" He faced his eldest daughter._

_ "Almost thirty. Years. I'm almost thirty, Dad. You've been a father for almost thirty years. I wonder why you think it's only twenty?"_

_ A jolt seemed to go through him. "Thirty? But you-"_

_ "Got older, Dad. Both of us. And you missed it." Dawn's voice was bitter. _

_ The older man sighed and sat. Spike also slowly sank into his chairs. "Girls. I'm sorry. I know I lost touch."_

_ "That's putting it mildly." Joey muttered from the corner of his mouth._

_ "Now, I know that Spike has a point, I'm older. But I've been busier. You have no idea what it's like trying to save a company you've created yourself." Hank said gently._

Oh no. Only trying to save the world. And everyone in it. One little business vs. apocalypse. Plural of. I win. I can't tell him that. None of us can.

_ Hank took the four sets of thinning lips and furtive glances to mean he'd scored a telling point. "I'm not saying I've been perfect, I admit I've lost touch, but you two haven't exactly been making communicating with me a priority, either."_

_ "Now, wait, just how many times were they supposed to reach out before you felt the need to reach back?" Spike was rising again._

_ "Excuse me." Giles' voice, soft and apologetic called down the hall from the front door. "Dawn? Buffy? Is Joey with you?"_

_ "I'm here!" Joey got to his feet. "Hang on, I'm coming."_

_ "Giles, come on in." Dawn gave Buffy a pointed look. A look that screamed, "You can't seriously make Giles stand out in the hall like a stranger when we're having the _actual_ stranger sitting here drinking out of the good mugs?"_

_ "Of course, come on in, you've heard about our dad all these years, now you get to see him." Buffy gave her sister an equally sharp stare and mouthed "Duh." There was no question that Giles was welcome in their house, always, no matter who else was there._

_ "No. No, really, I don't want to intrude, I just need to speak to Joseph." The Brit protested._

_ "Who's this?" Hank asked._

_ "Mr. Giles. Rupert Giles? Dad, I told you all about him! Remember? British library guy? Reason I didn't flunk high school?" _Or slaying...

_"The tweed guy?" Hank stood as Giles was ushered in. _

_ Buffy winced. "Yeah. Sorry, Giles, but-"_

_ "Oh, no, I did wear an enormous amount of tweed. Back then." He emerged now in a pair of jeans and bottle green tee shirt liberally smeared with dust."I'm sorry, I'm tidying up the house for the uh- dinner party I'm having." He improvised and Dawn gave him an adoring look for not mentioning the wedding. It quickly disappeared. "Joey, your mother has been calling your cell phone to no avail and finally called Vance."_

_ "I turned it off, didn't want it to interrupt meeting Dawn's father." Joey explained. "What's the matter with Mum? Is she okay? They should be in the air by now!" Joey realized frantically. _

_ "They're fine. They had to change gates and the airline told them to expect to arrive forty five minutes later than estimated. She wanted me to tell you, save you a trip to the airport, or at least waiting for so long."_

_ "Thank goodness." Dawn clasped her hands over her chest as her eyes closed. "That'd be all we need, the groom's parents missing on the big day."_

_ The occupants of the room froze._

_ "Oh shit." Dawn squished her eyes closed and buried her head on Joey's shoulder. _

_ "I was so careful!" Buffy slapped her sister's back lightly. "We all were. You can never tease Willow about her ability to keep secrets ever again!"_

_ "I know. I know!" Dawn moaned._

_ "Groom's parents are flying in? For the big day? As in wedding?" Hank connected the dots._

_ "Yes. Saturday." Dawn confessed hesitantly. She bit her lip and turned to face him. She didn't want him there. Things were NOT going like the Brady Bunch family reunion, more like the Borgias on a bad day. How to politely tell him, how to spare his feelings, just out of her sense of some old love and connection? "Um. Dad, look-"_

_ "Oh, Dawn! You should have called me weeks ago! I've got to be in NYC on Friday night." Hank shook his head regretfully. "I'm the speaker at that conference and I'm giving the keynote address at the Friday night opening banquet. I really can't miss it."_

_ "Oh. Okay, that's fine." Dawn nodded, trying to mask her relief with a brave face._

_ Giles misinterpreted that brave facade. "Well, Dawn, your father is certainly welcome to- that is- it won't offend me if you'd like him to be the one to give you away." He spoke quietly, his stammer coming out as he fumbled with his glasses and looked at the floor, the doorway, anywhere but at his young friend, his daughter in heart if not in name. He was being unselfish. It was a miracle that Hank had resurfaced just at this moment and he mustn't monopolize the girls, despite all they said about how they preferred him in the role of father._

_ "Not that I wouldn't love to, Pumpkin, but like I said, there's that conference."_

_ "Right, I understand." Dawn agreed quickly._

_ "So miss it." Giles' voice had gone from mild and nervous to concrete and clipped. He'd just thrown himself on the proverbial sword and this bastard was blithely passing it up to speak to a room full of stuffed shirts who just wanted him to sit down so they could get to dessert?_

_ "Mr. Giles, is it?" Hank frowned. "I know being just a librarian and all you don't understand this, but giving the keynote at a conference of your peers sets you apart in big business. The girls didn't give me any notice and well- the world doesn't revolve around them."_

_ Spike didn't often get the opportunity to defend or show the world that he'd come to admire Rupert Giles, maybe even love him, in a "blood of my blood" sort of way. He could tell by the expressions he saw on the other three faces beside him that Hank Summers had made a big mistake and there would be a fight to see who got a piece of him first. He jumped in with the first blow. He'd learned to like attacking with a partner, and his best partner in the world, Buffy, was right by his side, looking suddenly furious._

_ "Giles is the _head _of FFG Alliance." Spike informed Hank angrily._

_ "Just a librarian, my ass! He was there for me when no one else was, not even you and Mom!" Buffy ground out._

_ Giles appreciated the anger on his behalf but his own was directed elsewhere. "You're wrong Mr. Summers. Your world does revolve around these two women. Your children are your world."_

_ "Which is why I have devoted my life to giving them a better one by working the long hours and building something to leave behind!" Hank was slowly turning purple. He might not be a good man, but he'd been a great business leader, at a cost to his personal life. Now these people, in their little corner of suburbia, didn't recognize that. Judging him and spouting out platitudes like they knew him. "I've sacrificed hours and hours and _hours _to put my company on the map. I can't be in two places at once and no one even bothered to give me a _phone call _about this wedding!"_

_ "We finally stopped calling, Dad." Buffy whispered, soft tones out of place in the supercharged atmosphere. "I mean, how many messages do we have to leave before you call us back?" Her eyes betrayed her by filling suddenly. "When you say you made this better life for us- have you actually shared any of it with us yet? Is it all being saved for later or something?" She quavered._

_ "The good life doesn't happen overnight, Buffy. If you needed money-"_

_ "How would you know?" Dawn snapped. "How the hell would you know if we needed _anything_ if you won't call us back, or hey, maybe call us first, or hey, a postcard from Europe would be cool, too! Something."_

_ "I did not make this detour on my trip to get attacked, young lady." Hank reprimanded. "And this is a family matter, between my daughters and I, so if the rest of you could just let us have some space?"_

_ "This is a family matter, and these people are our family. No one leaves because you tell them to leave." Dawn stood up to him, finding it increasingly easy to do the longer this conversation went._

_ "Honestly, girls, I'm here for a day, and these people see you all the time. I might not be back up here until the next east coast conference, that's every other year. If we could just sit down quietly we could work everything out."_

_ "Being civil has always served the British Empire well." Giles said with a small nod. "Ladies, we'll leave you to it, if that's what you want."_

_ "I don't want." Dawn gripped Joey's hand harder than she meant to in her decisiveness. _

_ Spike waited for Buffy to make a similar denial, but she didn't. She stared at her dad with hurt eyes. "You mean- you were just coming by for the day? And not coming back for another two years?"_

_ "We could make a weekend date sometime. I know next July is relatively free." Hank realized how bad that sounded and shook his head. "I know. It should be more, but I just haven't had you two built into my schedule, and I can't change everything now, after I've already made plans. Big people are involved, girls, big people I can't afford to offend by canceling on. I tell you what, after next July, I'll start scheduling you in. Special weekends, some holidays. How's that sound?"_

_ "I think it sounds like you don't have time for us. That it'll be really easy to 'lose touch' again. You can't do that. You can't pop in for a weekend every couple of years. Or every decade! You can't play with people's lives and hearts like that!"_

_ "I'm not doing any such thing!" Hank reached for her hand, but it was pulled away, going to cover her aching heart instead. "Sweetie-"_

_ "You did that to Dawn and I. I know you and Mom didn't get along and I wasn't the prize daughter, and you were busy being CEO superman. But Dawn and I were- are- your only children and you just...stopped being there." Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head in confusion. "How? How do you just do that? How do you suddenly stop 'being in touch' with someone who you _made_!"_

_ "I think about you all the time, girls." Hank caught her hand this time, stepping closer to her. _

_ "How would I know? How do we know? All I know is that you're not there and we missed you!" _

_ "I'm here. I'm here right now." Hank folded her into a hug and reached for Dawn as well, but she stubbornly refused to be led. "And I'll be back. Couple times a year!"_

_ "Unless your quarterly projections unravel or you have to get an award or give an address that weekend. Unless something just suddenly comes up during your scheduled weekends with us." She pushed herself back. "If you had the chance to close a deal or see us, what would you pick?"_

_ "Of course I'd pick you." Hank brushed her hair from her eyes. "Don't be silly. Deals can be rescheduled. Usually. Now, if it were a merger it'd be important to -"_

_ "No! See, _see_? Things come up and we're not first on the list, so you'll just leave us! Forget about us. Like we never existed!" Dawn broke in suddenly and then ducked back into the shelter of Joey's arms. That'd always been part of her insecurity, the fear. The fear her father really didn't love her, the reason he just disappeared after Buffy's death, more completely than ever before. She'd always wondered if when that link was severed with Buffy, if she was wiped clean from his mind. She'd be really alone. In some twisted way, she'd blamed herself when he'd never picked up contact after Buffy came back to this world. Like if she was blotted out, Buffy was too, like the link had backfired. That neither of them were real anymore since she wasn't real to begin with. Dawn knew now, that being real is all about being perceived. They were perceived as unimportant, nonessential to a busy man. And people don't learn a lesson in one day if they haven't learned it in a thousand. "You treat us like we're not even here..." _

_ Hank turned quizzical eyes to his youngest and then turned away, ignoring the hysterical outburst. It was one more nail in his coffin. Everyone but him had learned the hard way not to ignore the youngest Summers._

_ "She's right." Buffy swallowed. "You do that, Dad. You've done it to me ever since the divorce, letting go of me- us, more and more until you just forgot all about us. You're here now because some random girl you've been dating for four months _happened_ to read an article of Dawn's that _happened _to be in the right section at the right time, and you _happened_ to have a meeting that made it easy for you to swing by. You wouldn't have come here if it didn't suit your precious work schedule."_

_ "Of course I would have." But his conscious pricked him. Jasmine had told him about that article last month. He hadn't done anything about making a visit to Pine Ridge until he found out he could easily get a connecting flight from the small local airport to one of the larger ones in NYC and finally earn enough frequent flyer miles to take him and Jasmine on a free flight to the Caribbean. Until that moment, he hadn't even bothered to find out if the Dawn Summers in the article was really his daughter._

_ "I can always tell when a man's lyin'." Spike sniffed in. "There's a different type of fear. The fear he'll be caught out in that lie."_

_ "What are you, a bloodhound?" Hank backed away from his son-in-law._

_ "In a manner of speaking." Spike smirked evilly._

_ "He's right, that's what he is." Buffy smiled brokenly. "He's known us and loved us for less than time than you have, but better than you ever could. He knows what you did to us, and I can see it too. I love you, Dad- but I can't let you do this to our kids, too. Meet them once or twice in their lifetimes, let them learn to love you and then pull away, ignore all the love they try to show you."_

_ "Now, Buffy, listen to me." Hank had no idea why both his girls should suddenly see a mere visit from him as a life and death situation. It was like they thought the world was ending if the people you loved weren't constantly around!_

_ He was right of course, and he was digging himself in deeper and deeper. "These people are making you act hysterical, Princess, and-"_

_ "Dad! stop it! I'm not a princess, I outgrew my pink party dress a long,_ long _time ago."_

_ "You'll always be my princess and my little pumpkin belly." Hank protested to his daughters in turn._

_ "So not." Dawn was direct and short. She'd had enough pain from this jerk and if this was only their first 'real' meeting, she didn't want to sit through a lifetime's worth anyway._

_ Buffy, on the other hand, was finally seeing what Dawn, with her uniquely detached perspective had been saying all along. "You left those little girls a long time ago, Dad! I don't get why you're surprised to come back and find after all those years that we turned into women. You know, I'm really surprised that you didn't think I, in particular, would be a grown up after treating me like one for so long. Yeah. Think about it, Dad. Leaving me alone after Mom died. You never even checked to see if we needed money for the funeral, or for the house, for the mortgage!" Her voice was shaking as she relived the stress of those awful moments, the awful desperation, the soul sucking job she'd been forced to take, the godsend of Giles' check, the agony of knowing child services might step in and take Dawn away, even Spike, evil as he was at that point, offering to do anything and everything he could to bring her back to life in this world and help them survive. _

_ She continued before he could defend his actions. She knew he'd have a good excuse, but they were indefensible, especially now that she was a parent. She knew more than ever that there was no excuse _ever_ that let you abandon your babies to a cruel world and leave them like orphans if there was a single breath left in your body. "You left us to make your business better, build a better life for us - and then what have you done in the last- forever- to share that good life with us? I know I already said that, but you don't say anything that helps me understand, just that you'll make more time later! That doesn't make up for the past!"_

_ Hank frowned, bewildered, unable to fathom why his daughters continued to harp at him over the same old things. Unless..."If you keep mentioning what I messed up on in the past because you want to know if you're in the will, you can stop guilting me. I left everything equally to both of you."_

_ The final straw on five upset camels. Everyone was mutually impressed at just how psycho they could become. Except for Spike. They already knew about _him_._

_ In the midst of the shouting and denials and accusations and "how dare you"s, someone snapped fully. Giles was the one who went furthest off the deep end. No one would have thought Giles would be the one to get physical, but he was. Hank Summers had transferred his own dormant protective paternal instinct over to the other man it would seem, for in one moment the demure Watcher had turned into a snake-eyed Ripper, with a venomous steely tone, hands around Hank's collar as he pushed him into the wall. "Oh no. No, no, no, Mr. Summers. You see, these girls don't want you in their lives in the form of your checkbook, they don't want your money when you're dead." He smiled icily, as if silently conveying that that day might be swiftly approaching. "It would have been nice had you put your children through college, but they did that themselves. With some help from their true family." He jarred Hank's head slightly against the wall, aiming it towards a group photo, taken at his own wedding, everyone was present except Sarah Joyce, who hadn't been born yet._

_ "Let me go." Hank wrapped his hands around Giles' wrists, but his assailant was in unusually good shape and driven by rage._

_ "Giles!" Dawn and Buffy gasped._

_ "I'm not hurting your father, I would never do that. I'm just speaking to him very seriously, so maybe he'll understand. Maybe he'll see that it would have been nice had he paid for your weddings, your first cars, graduation parties, an occasional birthday present, or even sent a five dollar bill in a greeting card." Giles pushed his forehead to Hank's and hissed, "Your daughters don't care about that. What they care about, you horrid, loathsome, inconsiderate _bastard, _is the fact that you didn't even lift the bloody phone _once_, or take one little trip to check on how your children, all a man's legacy in this world, were. You didn't keep track of your daughters, but I imagine you can tell me every quarterly earnings statement, can't you? Can't you!" Giles' hands shook and he slammed Hank into the wall with a surge of rage like he hadn't felt in years. "You couldn't keep track of a human life that you created!"_

_ "Enough!" Hank spat and shoved, knocking Giles back, sending him careening off the table's edge and across a chair. _

_ "No, I'll let you know when you've had enough!" Giles lunged. _

_ "Oh, bloody hell!" Joey and Spike lunged as well, but to restrain Giles. "You're s'posed to be the calm one!" Spike cried._

_ "Vee's gonna kill us both if you get done for assault!" Joey whispered fiercely._

_ "Are you okay? Dad! Look at me!" Dawn's voice was high pitched and frantic as Giles seemed to lose his balance as he struggled to regain composure and shake off his well-meaning friends. _

_ "I'm fine, Sweetie, don't- you- -worry." Hank's voice trailed off as he watched Dawn push between Joey and Giles. _Dad? She said Dad. _I'm_ Dad. _"I'm your father, Dawn Summers."_

_ "Sure. If you like biology. Biology is a one time thing. 'Dad' is an every day thing." Dawn turned her back to him and retrieved Giles' glasses from the floor._

_ Buffy had watched the fracas with a feeling of bewilderment. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Her husband was furious, her sister was frantic and trading barbs like the prize-fighter of bitchiness, Giles had just done a full postal, and Joey- poor Joey. He was supposed to bring all his immediate family and his best friends into a home filled with love and celebration as they prepared for a beautiful wedding. Instead we get a scene from real life family feud._ I'm so glad my children aren't here to see this.

_ The thought made the outside world drop away and she could finally just have one second to focus on her own feelings instead of everyone else's, instead of being worried about being a "good daughter". It was like a key turning in a lock, and all the bolts slid back, opening the door to clarity. _

_ "Stop."_

_ Miraculously, everyone did._

_ "Dad. Listen." Buffy bit her lip, and then pressed on, saying what she could see her mind's eye, not what she was supposed to do to make her father happy. What she was supposed to do to keep her family happy now. Not this chaos. They had enough of that already. "Even if it was a total accident, and you never meant to, you cut us out of your life. Now you don't fit in ours anymore. I'm sorry, Dad." She felt her eyes overflow, but her gentle, apologetic smile didn't fall away. "Sometimes you can cut something out and glue it back in, but not this." she shook her head and repeated softly, "Not this. Not a lifetime of forgetting we were there."_

_ "I never forgot." Hank protested._

_ "We felt forgotten anyway." Dawn whispered, one arm protectively on Giles' chest, as if preventing him from going back into the fray, the other clinging to Joey, her rock. _

_ Buffy continued as if no one had spoken. "When you come in now- all you do is make our peaceful lives- and you have _no _idea how hard it was to get a peaceful life- messy and painful. So - no. No more pain, no more panic. You forgot us once, you can forget us again." The serene smile faltered now, crinkled and turned into a pained line as tears began to flow faster. "I think I'm going to try to remember you like you were. The dad I loved. Before you forgot what mattered."_

_ Hank looked stunned, poleaxed, rooted to the floor. Finally his tongue loosened enough to speak and he murmured stiffly, "If you choose to cut your father out of your life- that's on your head." _

_ Spike's snarl came up from his boots as he moved so fast the air blurred. Somehow he had fit into that scant space between Buffy and her father. He didn't vamp, but his voice had that curious growling quality Buffy always associated with vampires._

_ "See? You shouldn't have been watching me, you should've been watching him." Giles said cheekily into Dawn's ear._

_ "Shut up and prepare to fill out insurance forms." Dawn hissed back, eyes wide and nervous._

_ "Get out of my way." Hank wasn't intimidated by anything but bad losses. He wasn't always a particularly sensible man._

_ Spike's growling voice was silky, sinister, dangerous. "Oh, no, rich man. You don't get to blame this on my girls. You forced this choice on them. Either let you walk on them, or push your foot off their heads, not the best options for you or them. You don't get to waltz into a world you conveniently left behind and expect to come back the lord and master. If you come back, you learn their ways, learn what changed, and how you better adjust to fit in." He moved back, no longer threatening, but slightly entreating, almost deferential. And those listening, aside from Hank, knew that only real love for his wife could make Spike act like that. "It's _your_ choice, Hank. You willing to make an effort, not a once a year or two effort, but somethin' more consistent? Could you do that for your children?"_

_ Hank thought for a moment. This life. He'd left it behind. Being a father, making plans, getting messy, putting others first- it had become foreign. His business came first, and all the perks associated with the hard work were for him. He had any number of pretty young women and no one held him accountable for how often he switched to another, no one treated him like a middle aged man with teenaged children- oh God. A man with grandchildren... he was too young to be grandfather! He loved his girls. He'd built his company for them. How had he lost that mission statement? He didn't know, but he did know that he'd been more successful without it. And they'd see, one day, when he owned a chunk of southern California that would make an oil sheik jealous, they'd be grateful for all he sacrificed in the meantime. Even if the thing you sacrifice is them?, a small nagging voice asked. He had gotten very good at ignoring that little voice over the years..._

_ "I don't appreciate that everything I've tried to do by coming to see you is unappreciated. That you let some old teacher of yours- even if he is your boss now- treat your father like that. And the people you've chosen to be with...no. I'm sorry. __Buffy, Dawn, I don't know what your lives are like, but it seems like you've lost all respect for your father."_

_ Buffy's smile was fixed, and directed past him. "Oh, no. I have utmost respect for my father. He's a good man. He's never let me down, and he never runs away from a problem. He might leave- but he never loses touch."_

_ Giles bowed his head in silent gratitude._

_ "And he's a real badass when someone talks down to us." Dawn chimed in with a wink and a swallow. If she didn't like the man Hank had shown himself to be, why was it so hard to let him go? She leaned closer than ever to Joey._

_ Hank could think of no greater insult than to call that- that interloper a father when he was standing right there. "I'm making my choice- but you also made choices here today." Hank darted a kiss on Buffy's cheek, then Dawn's, before turning and walking woodenly away, back to the outside world where his word was law and his laws made sense to him. _

He's walking away from me. For real this time. He's not going to try. I'm not going to try. But I never give up... _"Dad! If you ever want a chance, if you want to make it work, commit to trying- there's always room for that!" Buffy called after him._

_ Hank opened the door without looking behind him. He paused for a mere second, then stepped through it and closed it firmly after him._

_ "Oh God. Spike, did I do the right thing? I was sure all of the sudden I was doing the right thing and then- oh gosh, and Dawnie, I'm sorry, maybe we could've had it work out so he could have been there and-"_

_ Dawn rolled her eyes and pulled Buffy's long blonde hair once, teasingly. "Save it. You heard what he said. He has to go slip it to corporate America. Besides, I don't want or need him at the wedding." She kissed Giles on the cheek. "My real dad will be there. Oh, and my father-in-law, who is so totally awesome and laid back, is on his way over. Joey, come on. We have things to do. We're getting married this weekend!"_

_ Dawn hugged everyone, Buffy twice, extra hard, and bounced off, Joey in tow._

_ "Uncrushable. Just like the original model." Spike sighed and embraced Buffy. "You did brilliantly, Luv. I know it was hard. I could feel the pain. An' feel your strength. Your dad doesn't know what he's missing."_

_ "Yes, he does." Buffy shrugged. She took Giles arm in her own and Spike's with the other. "But so do I. Not missing a thing."_

* * *

><p><em> Spike eventually disengaged himself from the three way sprawl they were slumped in at the kitchen table. "You be alright if I go get the kids? Willow and Xander are probably ready to die from lack of information."<em>

_ "Yeah, and then we have to be errand boys and girls for the queen bridal bee." Buffy laughed weakly. Spike caressed her cheek and headed down the enclosed walkway, leaving her with Giles._

_ "I'd better go as well. Vance is making leg of lamb."_

_ "Wow."_

_ "Yes. Very. Particularly as she's never attempted it before."_

_ "Oh. Wow." This time the impressed tone was replaced by an anxious one._

_ "I'm not worried. Just because I don't have my spell books out doesn't mean a word in Tanya's ear won't make any meal perfection."_

_ "Giles!" Buffy admonished, then giggled. "You shouldn't do that."_

_ "I think that this day has gone badly enough already. But don't worry, Vance might be inexperienced with leg of lamb, but she's very experienced with taking care of her loved ones. It will all be fine." He rose and faced Buffy, her eyes red rimmed, her face unnaturally stiff with controlled emotions. "I am so terribly sorry this meeting didn't go well. That I behaved badly."_

_ "You behaved like a dad who saw his daughter getting her heart stomped on." Buffy wearily pushed herself to a standing position, and immediately fell into a much needed hug. "Hey? Is it okay if I call you 'Dad' sometimes?" Buffy asked tentatively into his warm, comforting shoulder._

_ "You already do." Giles murmured, eyebrows quirking._

_ "I know- but as a joke- well, _kind _of a joke. You've always been the dad-man, but now- can you just be _Dad_? Sometimes? When I'm _not _joking?"_

_ Giles swallowed and nodded. "I would be honored."_

_ Buffy looked up, a bemused smile on her face. "Do you have to be so stuffy?"_

_ "Yes." Giles nodded. "Or I might cry."_

_ Buffy tucked her head back down, knowing how he felt. "Oh. Okay. Then thanks for letting me 'honor you'. _Dad_." She whispered._

_ "Always."_

* * *

><p><em> "You were always mine first. Remember that." Spike adjusted Dawn's veil with a whisper.<em>

_ "You never stop telling me, how am I going to forget?" She whispered back._

_ "That's my plan." Spike leaned forward, looked into her eyes for a few seconds, then kissed her forehead and each cheek. "Don't you dare make me cry. I have a rep with some of these people."_

_ "I make no promises. About that." Dawn's wide smile was radiant, if slightly wet looking. "But I won't if you won't."_

_ "Deal." Spike walked backward's out the door of the vestry, leaving for his post as best man. "Next time I talk to you, you'll be Mrs. Brooke." He tried to smile._

_ "It's pretty, isn't it?" Dawn opened the door and let in her quintet of bridesmaids, Buffy, Willow, Claire, Jenna, Joey's sister, and Tanya, her flower girl, all in flowing green dresses, a beautiful group for a beautiful bride. "Curtain going up." Dawn winked. _

_ "You'll have a standing ovation, Little Bit." Spike moved swiftly back to the small room where the groom's party was waiting anxiously._

* * *

><p><em> The church, the one where Vance and Giles had been married, was not as full as it had been for their ceremony, but it was full enough. A dozen or so people from "FFG Alliance" as Dawn couldn't help but think of it now, were there, Joey's parents, Vance holding her infant granddaughter, a few friends from town.<em>

_ It was the late afternoon, and blue, green, and gold lights from the sun hitting the stained glass window hit the stone flagged floor as Dawn took her place in the doorway. She'd have a jewel tone path to glide down. Unlike many brides, she wasn't nervous at all, about anything. She was simply, supremely happy. She was going to be married to someone she loved and who loved her back, unconditionally. She felt beautiful. She was _his _Beautiful. She was his Angel Face, and his snarky, punk rock sweetheart. _

_ Which would explain the music._

_ "Really, Dawn! What will the Brookes think?" Giles demanded, giving one last tug to his bow tie, letting her brush invisible lint off his immaculate black tux._

_ "They'll think I'm wacky but I make Joey happy. Now come on, admit you love it. This is probably the only time you'll get to hear a string quartet playing The Cure."_

_ "True." Giles smiled and looked heavenward. "Dear Lord... please bless this boy. He'll have his hands full."_

_ "Shut up and remember my train." Dawn watched Tanya skip blithely through the door and latched onto Giles' arm. "This is it. Dawn Summers, starring in the role of beautiful bride."_

_ The music changed from the sweet melodic music to something loud, fast and cheerful. "I can't walk you down the aisle to this." Giles protested, struggling to find the beat in the pulsing strings._

_ "You can dance me down instead, if you want."_

_ "I'll walk." He recanted._

_ The doors were opened and a loud sob escaped amid the rustle of guests rising and laughing. _

_ "He cried before Buffy. You owe me twenty." Dawn watched Spike drag his sleeve across his eyes._

_ "She's crying, too! It's a tie." Giles argued. _

_ "Fine. Oh my God. Joey is such a stud muffin!" Dawn whispered, eyeing her groom in his simple, elegant black tux._

_ "Save that kind of observation for your bridesmaids, please! And stop talking. You're supposed to look serious and reflective as you enter matrimony."_

_ "I'm reflectively and seriously thrilled." Dawn blew a kiss to Joey as they approached. He placed two fingers to his lips as if feeling her touch land there._

_ "Stop talking until you get there. The photographers will have no end of trouble getting a clear shot if you don't."_

_ "True. Love you." Dawn sealed her lips._

_ Giles pressed his hand to her elbow and smiled silently._

_ These aisles seem so short and so long at once, Giles mused, knowing this was the third and final time he'd be walking one of his own down to be given into the safety and love of another. He smiled at Brooke and nodded. At least he was trustworthy, young Joseph. His bow tie suddenly felt unreasonably tight as they drew to a halt in front of the minister, the kind man who'd so recently been officiating at his and Vance's ceremony. _This is it. The nest is never empty, the heart is never empty- but suddenly they're not only "yours" any longer.

_ "Who giveth this woman to be joined in the holy and honorable estate of marriage?"_

_ "My father does." Dawn answered cheerily. _

_ The minister looked nonplussed and then smiled. "It is customary to let your father speak, my dear." He whispered, bending close to her._

_ "She's not exactly customary." Joey laughed and Spike and Buffy each wiped their eyes as they grinned at the truth of those words._

_ "I, her father, present her to be joined in this holy and honorable estate." He turned and lifted her gauzy veil, settling back over her dark, flowing hair. He bent forward, pecked her cheek and stepped back._

_ "Thanks, Dad."_

* * *

><p><em> "Thanks for lettin' me have one of the first dances. I know you've got a lot of people out here who want a turn with you." Spike took Dawn's hand and led her away from Giles.<em>

_ "Well, you have wash and wax Xander's car. Because it was either your or him who was gonna get the first big brother dance."_

_ "I have to what? Niblet!"_

_ "Oh come on. Consider it one last inconvenience of me being juvenile and immature."_

_ "Why, does that magically end when you put on the ring? I thought we were clear. Nothing changes. At least between you an' me."_

_ "So I can still be a pain in your ass?"_

_ "The only one who's allowed to be." He winked. "Enjoy the privilege."_

_ "Oh I will. Aaaaaand," Dawn steered Spike with her towards the DJ, "because you've been the best, most tolerant, coolest big brother I could ever have- in a completely big bad vamp way, of course, I thought of something I could do to cheer you up."_

_ "What's that?" Spike smirked. _

_ "Harry. _White Wedding _for the Billy Idol lookalike." Dawn called above the music._

_ "You got it."_

_ "Dawn... you didn't." Spike threw his head back in exasperation._

_ "I so did."_

_ Across the room, Buffy spit out a mouthful of champagne and Xander choked on a miniature quiche. "She didn't!" Xander cried._

_ "Oh no. She did." Willow shook her head. "Wow. Sometimes I forget those two have that- ohhh what's the's word I'm looking for?"_

_ "Complete 'snarky troublemaker, oh my God seriously' streak?" Buffy supplied._

_ "Yeah. That." Willow watched Dawn toss Joey her headpiece and pull Spike to the center of the floor. Joey became busy dragging his own sister from her seat as the music blared._

Hey little sister what have you done?

Hey little sister who's the only one?

_ Dawn ran her fingers through Spike's hair, poofing it into a cloud of platinum fuzz. "Wanna borrow my mascara, Mr. Idol?"_

_ "I'll bite you in a minute." Spike growled and then sighed. "Wanna know a secret?"_

_ "I already know it. You like this song."_

_ "Yeah actually. I do." He spun her once, then pulled her back, a punk rock waltz complete with snarls (from both) and dips._

_ "I do, too. Know why?" Dawn called as she passed him on the upswing._

_ "Why?"_

Hey little sister who's your superman?

Hey little sister who's the one you want?

_"Because of you! This is so you!"_

_ "That pillock stole my look, Dawn, this is not me, this is- copyright infringement."_

_ "No! Because it's talking about us!"_

_ "Say what?"_

_ "You're my superman. Minus the dorky tights."_

_ Spike's eyes abruptly overflowed. "Me?"_

Hey Little sister shot gun!

_ Dawn nodded, singing along, looking at him. "You're the one who has always tried to be there for me, and you're my superman. You ride shotgun, too, as in you always have my back." _

_ Spike nodded, no denying the truth of those words. "You know why I like it?"_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because of you."_

_ Dawn smiled. She'd figured that. "I thought so."_

_ Spike cupped her cheek. "Hey, Little Sister."_

_ "Love you, too, big brother."_

* * *

><p>"Okay big brother reporting for duty, Max. Come here, baby boy and give your mommy a break." Sul swooped into the crib and picked up his drooling, crying, newest sibling.<p>

Essie sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, lackluster looking in sweats and puffy eyes, crumpled kleenex at her feet. "Thanks, Sulster. But it's okay, I don't need a break, I was just getting him."

"No, it's okay, you sit." Sul put Max in his lap as he sat cross legged on the floor. "You have that post-baby depression stuff?"

"No. Maybe a little." She smiled bleakly.

"You were crying, though. I could hear you." Sul didn't want to point out that it took a _lot _to hear _anything_ over his dad giving Lizzie her nightly bath. Apparently tonight the mermaids were being attacked by the evil stingrays and were climbing the shower curtain to escape. Complete with lots of shrill screaming and giggling. That was what life was like though, living with his dad. The guy could make a theatrical performance out of buttering toast. He loved that.

"Wow, that's bad. You could hear me over _Raiders of the Lost Ark _meets _The Little Mermaid_?" Ess chuckled once and smoothed her hair back into a ponytail, trying to get some energy back into her system.

"Am I destined to become that weird? Do you think it's a genetic thing, that all Dad's kids are going to get eventually?" Sul was only half- joking.

It was apparently the wrong joke to make. The new mother burst into a sudden sniffling fit and attacked her eyes with a ball of tissue.

"I'm sorry! It's a good weird! I'm sorry, Essie." Sul cried in alarm.

"No! No, honey, it's not that at all. And I think yeah, if you hang out with your dad at all, you will get some of the - the family weirdness." She smiled through her tears, but they continued to fall.

"What's going on then? If it isn't from Max and it's not because of me, what's the matter?"

"I was just thinking about Max and you. My boys. My little boy, and my second little boy..." She looked at Sul. "You don't think Max replaces you, right? He's not my 'real son' more than you are, or something?"

"I never even think about real or not real or step or whatever." The older boy shrugged.

"Good. Because I love you the same. I don't love you less or him more or any combinations like that..."

Sul gave her a puzzled look and nodded. "I never thought you would."

Ess reached out and stroked Sully's sandy hair, even though he was a teen, and she was probably making him feel too young. "You're my baby boy." She reached into his lap to brush Maxwell's velvety cheek. "So are you." With a sigh she looked into Sul's eyes, Jim's eyes in a younger face. "You were Jim's baby boy, your dad's son to share with me, if I earned it. And then we had Lizzie, but it was okay, because you were still the baby boy, and now we have another baby boy... I know you're almost fourteen and we've lived together for half your life now, off and on. Today for some reason, I suddenly started wondering to myself, if you understood that you're not just your dad's son, you're my son. My real son. I guess I never worried about that before because there wasn't another son to compare to." Her voice thickened and she looked down at her hands. "I just got so afraid today... Maybe it is the hormones. But I got worried. That you'd think like that." She sniffed in and forced herself to look positive. "Silly of me."

"It's okay. It's spending all day with Max and Lizardkins. They'd make anyone insane in the brain." He lifted his youngest sibling into her lap and stood up, feeling a little weirded out. He loved Essie. He loved everyone in his family. He'd never had thoughts like that, he didn't even say "my dad and stepmom" he said "my parents". He never said "I have two step siblings", he would say "I have a brother and a sister."

"Yeah. Probably." She cuddled Max protectively to her chest and watched the lanky youth striding away from her. Her heart hurt watching him walk away, even though she knew it wasn't true foreshadowing, just her overtired imagination. "I'll be down in a little bit and help you with study for your math test, okay?"

"Okay." Sul paused in the doorway and then turned back. "Ess?"

"What, Sul?"

"Of course I'm your real son. You're my real mom, too. Not my only one- but you're just as real. You've got two sons, but we're both the same to you, aren't we? I'm just as real to you, aren't I?"

She nodded gratefully. "I didn't mean to make a big weepy deal out of it, I just wanted you to know."

"I do! Essie, we've known each other for almost seven years. I lived with you as much as I ever lived with my mom. It's like Dad told me when he wanted to marry you- he said he loved you as much as he loved me, but I win, because he's loved me the longest. With Mom-she'll always win because I've loved her the longest- but it's a tie because I love you both the same." He locked eyes with her. "Only could we maybe not tell her that part?"

She laughed and rose, hugging him, Max squished in the middle, gurgling in protest. "Thank you. That's exactly right. And you, Sullivan, you're always gonna be my baby boy, my first born- even if you weren't born_ to_ me."

Sully let Max latch onto one of his fingers. "Max can be your baby boy- but I'll always be your son."

"You can be my _both_. No matter how big you get, you're always our baby boy, and you're always my son. We're real to each other, no matter how we got put together."

"I got it. Soooo. Real Mom? Can we talk about my allowance? Because I could use some 'real money'."

"Har har har."

"It was worth a shot."

"The weird gene is kicking in on you. Better watch out or next thing you know you'll be rocking out with air guitar in the middle of the lawn when you think no one's watching."

"Too late."

"I know. I love you anyway, though. Weirdo." She kissed his forehead as they walked downstairs together in perfect stride.

"Love you, too. Drama queen."

"Sullivan!"

"I'm sorry, it's a thing real sons do." He winked.

"Real moms do this, though!" Essie noogied him.

"Daaad!"

"Jiiiiim!"

Upstairs Jim and Lizzie exchanged a look. "Your mother and brothers are at it again."

"I know. They're a little crazy." Lizzie finished applying a bubble mustache to her father's face.

"They are." James finished shampooing her hair into a giant mohawk. They looked at themselves in the mirror and giggled. "Thank God we're the normal ones, right Lizzie?" Then he splashed her.

"Daddy!" She squealed and splashed back.

_I didn't want normal. I just wanted real, even if it was real messed up or real crazy. _

"Dad! She has my algebra book!"

"Only because he has my yoga mat, Jimmy!"

Jim smiled a little contented smile to himself. _Looks like I got what I wished for. _


	26. Chapter 26

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. This story and its prequel are about the dimensional other halves who portrayed Spike and Buffy in a different realm, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. Deleted Scenes is primarily only the Spike and Buffy realm after this chapter._

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes/ Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or betnween chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_I'd love feedback, but not flames._

_Author's note: I'm changing the format a little bit for the remainder of the piece. We'll be shifting focus to the next generation, telling their lives in long chapters, and it'll be jumping around from their births to their marriages or beyond, so I can't exactly tell you where each chapter goes._

_But for now: An interlude...( Please note, all the "handwriting" in the first section was in different fonts, but won't support them, so you'll just have to use your imagination.)_

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, and HowistheDramaQueen. _

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXVI

(Where it goes: In the midst of _Starting Over_ Part XXXIV)

**Interlude: Dueling Messages**

**Essie and Jim's Message Board, found on the kitchen wall over the counter of their home in Southern California: **

Hi, Babies! I'm filming 'til 8 tomorrow. Sul, you're in charge of dinner. Love, Ess-Mom

Awwww, Mom! Can we get pizza? - Lizzie

I can cook, Lizard!- Sul

I'll bring home take-out on my way home. Early shoot. -Daddy

Jimmy- Max's bike seat needs to be raised. Can you?-Ess

Ess- I'm on it, Sweetie. Love you, Baby- J

You guys so need a date night. Can I have Uncle Max come over?- Sul.

We're out of bannannas- Lizzie

Bananas- Anonymous

Spelling show off! I know it was you, Max.- Lizzie

It was not! Lizardbreath. - M.M.

The dorms are looking so good now... Sul

I'll get bananas and take out on my way home. And fix the bike. Date night, yes. Max, yes. Love you guys! Daddy

J -I owe you one, Baby. Name your fee... Essie

Not on the fridge! Geez, guys. - Sul

_**Summers' Families answering machines.**_

_You've got through to the Summers residence, leave a bloody message- Spike!-stop- Dad, let me- You've reached the Summers residence, home to Spike, Buffy, Will, SJ, and Alex. Leave a message after the beep._

" _Hi. It's me. Did I leave Joey's fatigue jacket there last night? Oh, and God, fix your message. I love you."_

* * *

><p><em>Hi. You've reached Joey. And Dawn. And David. We're not home, leave a message, we'll call you back. <em>

"_Hey, Bit. Negative on the jacket. You left your wallet here though. Took out a fiver you owed me for the arm-wrestling bet. Oh, an' as far as messages go- yours sounds poncey, with the papa bear, mama bear, baby bear all chimin' in motif. I love you though, Niblet."_

* * *

><p><em>This is Buffy's cell phone. She's not here, but if you ask her nicely, she'll call you back. Bye...<em>

"_Buffy? It's Giles. I'm concerned about Alex and Lexy. They set fire to the shed. Apparently, they found one of Xander's books about detonations? Um. Well. Call me. We're- uh- at Vance's office."_

* * *

><p><em>This is Rupert Giles. For family concerns, press one. For business concerns press two. If you're calling for anything else, please do hang up.<em>

"_WHAT! You let my baby play with matches? What the hell kind of grandpa are you? I'll be there in a minute!"_

* * *

><p><em>You've reached the Rosenberg-Harris residence. We can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and one of us'll call you back... Press star to save, where's the star- oh...<em>

"_Willow? It's Giles. Now, don't panic, but Alex and Lexy set fire to the shed. Apparently, they found one of Xander's books about detonations? I'm sure it was nothing more than harmless curiosity. Call me. We're at Vance's office."_

* * *

><p><em>This is the answering service of Dr. P. Vance and Dr. Joseph Brooke. Our office hours are by appointment only. To make an appointment, press one. To leave a message, press two. To speak to the doctor on call, press three.<em>

"_Is she okay? Are they okay? We're on our way!"_ (_Sound of muffled, hysterical sobbing.)_

* * *

><p><em>You've got through to the Summers residence, leave a bloody message- Spike!-stop- Dad, let me- You've reached the Summers residence, home to Spike, Buffy, Will, SJ, and Alex. Leave a message after the beep. <em>

"_Hi Mum. Hi Dad. We're havin' a good time. Tanya an' SJ loved the ballet. Tell Uncle Xan an' Aunt Willow not to worry, I'm lookin' after their girl. 'Scuse me- What is it, Green Eyes?...Oh. Tanya says she loves you an' she's got you a souvenir program. I'm gonna ring off, then. We'll be back on the 8:30 train. Love you."_


	27. Chapter 27

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first.  
><em>

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Author's note: I'm changing the format a little bit for the remainder of the piece. We'll be shifting focus to the next generation, telling their lives in long chapters, and it'll be jumping around from their births to their marriages or beyond, so I can't exactly tell you where each chapter goes._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, HowistheDramaQueen, and Teddybear -514_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXVII

**Tanya and William's Story Part I**

**Best friends**

_"Is it on? Is it- oh lens cap." Buffy's face appeared in front of the screen. "There's your beautiful mum, William. William- William, look at Daddy."_

_ "Spike, you have your finger on zoom." Dawn's voice cut in and then the picture became more panoramic. William sat under a glittering Christmas tree, propped against Buffy's legs. _

_ "Wave to Daddy." Spike's hand appeared in front of the lens. William burst into baby giggles and babbles. _

_ "We're he-ere!" Xander's voice caroled. _

_ "Dawnie, help me out, I have too many bags and - the cinnamon rolls!" _

_ "I got it." The camera turned to show Willow and Xander, in flurry covered coats, bearing a baby in a carrier and bunch of gifts and a large pan of cinnamon rolls- now on the floor._

_ "Thank God for tin foil, huh, mate?" Spike zoomed the camera again, this time picking up the baby girl in the carrier. "There's our Tanya. Hullo, Miniature. Hullo." _

_ "Spike, turn that off until we get settled."_

_ "But, Luv, I just got it today!"_

_ "I don't care. Turn it off." Buffy's determined face turned into a naughty giggle as she and the cameraman met. The room tilted as the camera went down and soft kissing noises were heard. Finally, Buffy's breathless voice said, "C'mon. Cinnamon rolls."_

* * *

><p><em> "Baby's first Christmas, take two." This time Dawn was the voice of the camera. "No, plural. "Babies' First Christmas. Tanya- look at the Auntie Dawn!" <em>

_ But Tanya didn't. She was intent, crawling and scooting to William. William, much more physically developed, met her halfway with quick, firm motions of his chubby hands and knees. "Awww. This is so cute."_

_ "Tanya and William's first Christmas." Willow appeared and put a bow on each child's head. _

_ "Take that offa my son." Spike snarled._

_ "He looks adorable." Giles hushed Spike with a slightly tipsy voice. "More brandy anyone?"_

_ "Giles, you're supposed to savor it." Buffy's voice was amused and a little anxious._

_ "I am. Quite a lot." _

_ "Guys! This is about the babies! Can we let them play with their new toys or something cute for the family archives? I don't think future generations want to see you swishing brandy all over the place._

_ "Good plan." Xander appeared in the frame and held out two little red plastic hammers and tool boxes. "Look what you get. My First Workshop. You can build things. Can you hit the nail?" He pointed to the blue plastic nails that stuck up out of the plastic wood block that were part of the kit. "Oww!"_

_ William didn't seem to want the hammer. It connected smartly with Xander's nose as he threw it, and with his unusual strength, it must have hurt. "Xan!" Willow was on her knees, looking at his brow in a second._

_ "I'm okay. Boy has a good arm, Spike." _

_ Tanya whimpered unhappily. William looked over at her and his chubby hand reached for hers. "Honey, get William." Buffy called anxiously to Spike._

_ "I'm on it. C'mere Super Tot- well- look at this." Spike joined the two on the floor. "Buffy, come see this."_

_ "Aww, that's so cute."_

_ "What are they doing?"_

_ "Holding hands."_

_ "See if she wants the bear that Vance sent." Giles tossed a light lilac bear into the midst. Xander scooted it to Tanya, who took it eagerly, and cuddled it- but only in one arm. The other hand stayed in William's grasp._

_ "Someone has a bestest best buddy already." Xander beamed, and kissed each child on the forehead. _

**Growing**

_ "It's getting late. We should go." Xander and Buffy looked at the sun and then at the park. "Is he mad?" Xander asked a question he'd been pondering for a couple months now._

_ "No. Maybe envious." Buffy swallowed the lump that rose up in her throat. _

_ "I'll take pictures. We all will."_

_ "I know. William! Tanya!" _

_ "Five more minutes, Mummy?" William called from the top of the slide._

_ "Okay, but this is the last five more minutes you get, Buster!"_

_ Xander watched their children chasing each other down the slide and back up, squealing. Spike would never get to take his son to the park in the daylight. Or watch him play baseball if that was what he wanted to play. Or make a sandcastle in the summer sun on the beach. "He's a good dad, you know? And a good uncle. I never, in my life, thought I'd let him near a child of mine. Now, if there was some emergency, the world ending or something, I'd hand her to you two first."_

_ "Xand, that's- that's beautiful. We feel the same, you know we do."_

_ "We'll all go skiing."_

_ "Huh?"_

_ "Cloud cover! We'll ski. Spike and I, all of us, we can take the kids skiing. The slopes aren't more than a two hour drive."_

_ "You want me - California girl- to stand in the snow on purpose? For fun?" Buffy smacked his hair. "I don't think so, Mister."_

_ "Well, obviously not now. Not in your condition. Wow. How Victorian do I sound?" Buffy laughed and he continued. "It's Spike's fault. He's the original Victorian gentleman under all the black leather and punk metal. He must've rubbed off on me." Xander held his hand hesitantly over her stomach. "Will he kill me if I pet the kiddo?"_

_ "No. But when you and Willow decide to make baby number two, expect payback. When might that be happening, by the way?"_

_ "When baby number one doesn't need the equivalent of a SWAT team to watch her." He laughed nervously and then reached a hand down to the swelling bump of his best friend's belly. Xander stroked Buffy's stomach softly, then pushed palm down more firmly. Nothing moved and he felt panic grow suddenly in him, panic he shouldn't have. He kept his voice casual. "No kicks yet?"_

_ "No. Sleepy heartbeat. It's another William. But Vance says it's all cool."_

_ "Boy or girl?"_

_ "We'll find out next month."_

_ "Girls are amazing." Xander watched his little princess floating down the slide- _floating _down the slide_?_ "Really amazing!" He ran and Buffy stood up from the park bench with a gasp._

_ William and Tanya were giggling madly, but at the sound of Xander's footsteps they stopped. Tanya landed with a thud and her eyes filled. "Sorry, Daddy. I just thought it felt like flying and- flying!" She turned her bright jade eyes up at him._

_ "Oh Sweetie. _Sweeties_. You have to be careful." Xander spoke to both children seriously._

_ Buffy watched from afar. Xander was handling it. Which was good. Because she didn't want to even think about moving, much less lecturing. _

_ "You have beautiful children." _

_ Buffy started, and her hand immediately went to her satchel, her first instinct was to get a weapon, always. "Thank you." She found herself addressing an older woman with a trio of small dogs. "Your dogs are adorable."_

_ "Just the two?" The old lady smiled benignly on Xander as he knelt in front of the children, face animated as he explained something._

_ "Oh. Well she-" Buffy gave up. Tanya was her child. Her niece and then some. Hers. Just like William belonged to Willow. "Yeah. Those two. And one on the way."_

_ "How wonderful!" _

_ "Thanks." Buffy extracted herself from the conversation by heading to the trio of family members by the slide._

_ "Mummy! I picked you a flower." William came up to her with a bouquet of dandelions._

_ "Thank you, Honey Bunch." Buffy smiled and bent to take them, but was given only one. _

_ "We're ready." Tanya, in scuffed pink sneakers and long blue dress toddled up. William immediately turned and handed her the remaining flowers. _

_ "Make wishes." He grinned._

_ "Oh, Will, they have to be white and fuzzy, full of cottony tops to make wishes." Xander explained._

_ "Oh." He looked disappointed. _

_ "I fixed it." Tanya's hand was no longer full of yellow blooms but gray fluffy ones. "Make wishes with me."_

_ "We need to get her some magic proof gloves or something." Xander's eyes widened at the powers his baby had._

_ "Or something." Buffy looked equally worried. They were concerned about how fast and strong William was, how he didn't always know his own strength, but at least he couldn't fly or change nature with a single thought. _

_ "I wish for ten kitties!" Tanya waved one flower in the air and watched the afternoon breeze move the fluff from the stem._

_ "Shh. Wishes don't come true if you say them out loud." Buffy explained to her niece._

_ "Oh." Tanya nodded and after a second of silence, she waved another tuft in the air. _

_ "Good one!" William nodded appreciatively. "But where would you put it?"_

_ "In the garage." _

_ "Did I miss something?" Xander asked. _

_ "My turn now." William took a flower and did the same thing Tanya had just done. This time Tanya squealed and giggled. _

_ "Xan-" Buffy put her hand on his elbow, a strangely happy smile on her face, one that showed concern and joy at the same time. "I think they're hearing each other. Inside."_

_ "Tanya, are you reading Will's mind?" Xander asked anxiously._

_ "No! We're just talking." Tanya pouted defensively._

_ "With no out loud words." William backed her up._

_ "You can't do that, Honey Bunch." Buffy tried to gently explain._

_ "You an' Daddy do it."_

_ "We- well- that's special." Buffy hadn't realized William knew that she and Spike communicated without words._

_ "We're special. I can't do it with anybody but William." Tanya finished her last flower off and wiped her palms on her grubby play dress._

_ "Yeah. We jus' can do it cause we're best mates."_

_ "Best friends."_

_ "Best mates!"_

_ "Friends!"_

_ "Oh... fine. 'Cause of how we're best friends." William took the girl's hand possessively and began to trot off ahead of his mother and uncle._

_ "Your baby better not have 'claimed' my baby." Xander muttered._

_ "She better not have witched him up somehow."_

_ "I wonder if they have to be near each other, or if they can do it from far away." Xander mused._

_ "Like, are they staying up all during nap time and talking inside their heads?" Buffy bit her lip._

_ "No, like that'd be great. Think of the money we'd save on cell phone bills when they're older."_

_ "That's you. Mr. Optimism."_

**The Oldest**

_"Hey. Buffy asked me something." Xander put a gallon of milk in the cart- then thought about it and added two more. William, Buffy, and Spike could pack it in and they ate at each other's houses a lot._

_ "That's so not newsworthy." Willow added three dozen eggs into the cart as well. _

_ "Yeah, but here's the thing. It's the same stuff she asks you. And we just kinda make up an answer on the fly."_

_ "Oh, geez, not about when are we going to fix the swing set again. Because I told her, William just pushes too hard. If Tanya couldn't-" Willow lowered her voice, "if Tanya couldn't float, she'd be in a body cast. I'm thinking five. Five or six years- from now."_

_ Xander laughed and put the economy size jar of peanut butter in and took her hand. "No. About -about a baby."_

_ Willow blushed. "I told her we're kinda busy with the super powerful child right now."_

_ "That's what I told her. But- I don't know if that's what I should be telling her."_

_ "Wh-what do you mean?" Willow asked._

_ "I mean- havingTanya is the best thing in the world, but we didn't plan it." Xander hissed. _

_ "So?" Willow looked away guiltily. She knew where this was going._

_ "So maybe you don't want to have any more kids. Now that we know that whole 'unprotected sex' thing isn't just a myth." He tried to laugh, but it just came out a huff of worried air._

_ "Would that be so bad?" Willow asked timidly. "I mean- we're only children. Look how great we turned out."_

_ "Yeah... twisted neurotic nerds who would have died in high school if we hadn't had each other and made fighting evil our extracurricular activity. Maybe a brother or sister wouldn't have helped that at all, but- I don't know. I guess I think it's good to have all the loved ones in your corner that you can, in case the rest of your family sucks."_

_ "At least she won't have bad parents." Willow murmured and leaned against her best friend turned spouse._

_ "For which I am eternally grateful, Wills, but-" He trailed off._

_ "But what?"_

_ "I know I'm not your soul mate. I know we're "life mates'. We're in love, but we're not necessarily the first choice."_

_ "You are!" Willow cut him off. "Of what's available. Oh, that sounded harsh. I'm sorry."_

_ "No, no, that's what I'm saying. I get that our life is weirded up. But it's still our life , Willow. And while we're down here, I want to make the best of it."_

_ Willow stopped, snarling traffic in the aisle behind her, not caring, as she hugged Xander hard. "We will. I promise, if there's anyone I want to do anything with in this world, it's you. It's only, totally you. I just don't know exactly what that life looks like yet." Xander hugged her back hard. "I'm okay with that. As long as I'm looking at it with you."_

_ "I know it's going to be beautiful, Xander. That's all I know, but that's plenty."_

* * *

><p><em>"She's gorgeous." Willow cooed over the new baby in Buffy's arms. "And I can really appreciate it now. Since I didn't have to do the delivery part. <em>

_ "Ha. If only I could have gotten out of it that easily." Buffy sat up tiredly and winced. "She's smaller than Will, but it still hurts, you know?" _

_ "Where's my beautiful little lambkin?" Spike came back into the room, eyes awash in happiness. _

_ "Still here." Buffy laughed again. "Go to Daddy, Sarah."_

_ "Ohhh. There she is. There she is, look at her. Look at that. Almost as pretty as your mum." Spike sat beside Buffy._

_ "She's more pretty." Buffy peered into the swaddled up blanket and at the tiny little pale face with brown wisps of hair coating it._

_ "No. Never." Spike kissed his wife and then his daughter. "Sarah's pretty in her own way."_

_ "Why Sarah?" Willow asked._

_ "The other half. They called her Ess, but it was a made me think, for the first time, that maybe I'd be a good mom. That maybe I wanted it. So we gave the baby a name that began with the initial 'S'. To thank her." _

_ "Aw. That's sweet. And the middle name?"_

_ "Joyce."_

_ "I'm gonna cry." Willow teared up and plunked down on the other side of her best friend. "Could I hold her?"_

_ "Yep." Buffy and Spike jointly put their new daughter in her aunt's arms. "Sarah Joyce, meet your Aunt Willow."_

_ "Ooh. So tiny. Soo tiny. I forgot what it feels like." Willow held the newborn with an expression of longing. "And soft. And warm. She's beautiful."_

_ In awhile, Willow left and various members of the family made their way through the small private room in Vance's clinic. At last, only Spike and Buffy were left with their infant._

_ "You ever ask Will if she wants more?" Spike watched Buffy nurse Sarah Joyce. He'd been pretty sure he recognized that look on Willow's face when she held the baby. It meant "gimme"._

_ "They wanted to wait until they learned to help Tanya train her powers." Buffy yawned._

_ "She's doin' very well. She's brilliant, the stuff she can do..."_

_ "But it's the controlling it part. When she's trained up a little more, then I bet they'll have another one."_

* * *

><p><em> "So I'm the oldest one." William explained brothers and sisters to Tanya as they lay in her room, snuggled in the same bed, despite the second bed that was in the room.<em>

_ "But you were already. 'Cause your birthday's before mine."_

_ "I know. But now the little baby is here, and I'm the oldest of her."_

_ "What's that mean?"_

_ "I gotta love her and protec' her." William explained manfully. He already loved the baby, the minute he saw it. It was too tiny to take care of itself, and Daddy said it needed him. _

_ "Oh." Tanya got very quiet and sniffled suddenly. _

_ "You got head pain?" William asked. Sometimes Tanya's eyes glowed and her head hurt, but she didn't know why, and he couldn't make it stop._

_ "Nu-uh." She mumbled._

_ "What'sa matter? Want your mum?" William sat up._

_ "Nu-uh." She sniffled again. "Does the new baby mean you aren't going to love me anymore?"_

_ "No." William looked puzzled, and shook his head with a frown. "She's just a baby. She's borin'. You're my best friend. I'll always love you and be the oldest of you."_

_ "Can I be the oldest of her, with you?" Tanya asked timidly._

_ "Yep. I'll tell Mummy when she comes home from the doctor's."_

_ "I love you, William."_

_ "I love you, too." He stroked her hair with sleepy fingers. "I love your hair. So soft. Longer an' softer than mum's."_

_ She nuzzled into his palm sleepily. "Makes the headaches go away." She whispered. _

_ "I know." He grinned. " 'S why I do it."_

* * *

><p><em> "She's adorable." Willow reclined dreamily beside Xander. <em>

_ "I know! Teeeny weeeny little toes. I think she was smaller than Tanya."_

_ "Tanya was born a little late, she had a few extra ounces."_

_ "And SJ was born early. At least this time we knew it was coming." Xander looked over at his wife of four years with a significant gleam in his eye. "She was adorable, huh?"_

_ "Yeah." Willow blushed._

_ "Making you think about things?"_

_ Willow paused and then looked at him, suddenly not dreamy, voice questioning and pointed. "Do you know why Buffy wanted to have another baby?"_

_ "Most couples want more than one?" He hazarded._

_ "So there'd be someone like William. Someone who was human and had some of the vampire qualities, too. Someone who could understand him."_

_ "That's sweet."_

_ "Yeah. And messed up." Willow's voice sharpened to an edge._

_ "What?" Xander sat up in bed, perplexed and a little upset by her tone._

_ "I don't mean in their exact case. But why- why would you condemn someone to a burden like that?"_

_ "William doesn't have a burden. He's strong and fast and maybe a little pale and has really sensitive senses. That's not so bad. It's not a burden."_

_ "But magic is. Can be. Magic like hers. She's so strong. She can't control it half the time. She's going to get hurt if we're not really, really careful."_

_ "So we'll _be _really, really careful." Xander took her hand. "Wills- I don't know what you're telling me. Are you saying you never want another baby because it isn't fair to have a baby with powers?"_

_ "No. Or maybe. No. No, I do want her to grow up with a sibling. I just don't want it to suffer."_

_ "Baby, hate to tell you, but Tanya isn't suffering. She's happy."_

_ "She's not happy when the headaches happen!"_

_ "She's a toddler, she'll learn to control her power, channel it. You did."_

_ "I had Tara!" She burst out suddenly._

_ "And Tanya has you." Xander whispered. "And you know what I heard her humming last night?"_

_ "What?"_

_ " 'God bless Mommy and Daddy and William' and then she named all the rest of us, and then she said 'and my spirit mommies with the pretty smiles'."_

_ "Great, she's seeing dead people. Next we'll have our own show on the sci-fi channel." Willow put her head in her hands._

_ "Spirit mommies with pretty smiles." Xander repeated wistfully._

_ It was Willow's turn to sit upright. "You don't think-"_

_ "One of them has 'long glowy hair' apparently. And one has 'shiny curly hair and talks about Daddy a lot'."_

_ "Why didn't you tell me?"_

_ "You were a little busy today."_

_ "I-well this makes it worse, not better!" Willow punched a pillow savagely. "Everyone will think she's a psychic, a freak."_

_ "I guess it only matters if your mother thinks of you like that." Xander got out of bed angrily._

_ "Xander. Xan, I didn't mean it like that."_

_ "Then what did you mean?"_

_ "I mean I'm scared." Willow's voice cracked. "I had no control over my magic at one time. She has more power than I ever will. But she's so good. So sweet, and gentle. What if the next one... what if the next one doesn't have that temperament?"_

_ "Then we work with the temperament it has. And Will, not to make you pissed off at me for pointing out the obvious, but didn't Vance say it was because of the extreme amount of magic you did at the end of pregnancy?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "And magic isn't exactly genetic. Buffy and Spike, yeah, they're going to produce hybrids, they can't help it. You and me, well, we're just human. If you're worried about the magic, don't do too much of it, and pray the kid picks up my normal guy genes."_

_ Willow nodded, and Xander slowly sank back onto the bed, beside her this time, his arm around her. "I'm sorry about this. I must seem like an awful mom. An awful wife."_

_ "I wasn't too good at being understanding husband guy."_

_ "But you were super amazing dad-man."_

_ "I love you Wills. But nothing has ever made me feel like Tanya. That for once in my life, I'm naturally good at something. I'm a good dad."_

_ "You are the _best _dad. If there was a dad olympics, they'd cancel it, because no one would dare to compete with you."_

_ "You're sweet. Delusional, but sweet." Xander chuckled. "Baby, I figure between you and me, plus the heavily armed family we come with, plus two amazing women watching over our kid, that our kid is pretty well off in the being safe and loved department. I think that's the best we can hope for. Even normal families have bad things happen. I don't like to think about it, but, I figure we're not taking any more of a gamble these days than anyone else."_

_ Willow pulled Xander down, snuggling up to him, holding him. "You're right. But I'm still not ready. She needs as much attention as we can give, and I want to give it to her."_

_ "Agreed. But someday?"_

_ "Someday." Willow grinned and then licked her lips. "We could still practice, couldn't we?"_

_ "Oh, yeah..."_

* * *

><p><em> "We'll be fine! Have fun slaying the bad guys!" Buffy herded Tanya and William into the kitchen, and adjusted the sleeping baby on her arm.<em>

_ "We'll make it quick, yeah?" Spike kissed his wife, daughter, son, and niece in that order, working his way from the tallest to smallest. "Giles and Vance should be over soon."_

_ "I can look after three kids by myself. Especially when one of them is a four year old mega witch."_

_ "Behave." Spike tweaked her chin as he tilted it up for one more kiss, and then left._

_ Xander and Willow were waiting for him outside. "Wanna take the truck?"_

_ "It's a nice night. Not too hot or cold. Walk?" Spike offered his elbow to Willow, who smugly took it, and took Xander's with her other arm. _

_ "Steppin' out with my baby, can't be bad it feels so good..." Willow kicked up her heels and danced a little as she sang softly._

_ "Someone's in a good mood."_

_ "Someone's been cooped up in the house for two days." Willow laughed._

_ "Any hotspots?" Xander asked Spike._

_ "Yeah, shrine at the Mason hall."_

_ "Is that gonna be tricky?" Willow asked._

_ "I don't think so. Just some vamps hangin' out there."_

_ "Oh good. A nice easy patrol." Xander sighed. "Maybe we can get home early."_

_ "Don't say 'nice easy patrol'." Willow reminded him. "Something always goes wrong."_

* * *

><p><em> It happened so fast. It wasn't even at the shrine, they would have been ready for that. It was on the way home, while they were taking the shortcut through the park. Spike sensed him, but only in enough time to shout a warning, not to intervene.<em>

_ The vampire went for Willow first, because she was smallest. She had her crossbow out though, always at the ready. This time it worked against her. In the struggle, the vampire twisted around behind her, the bow still in front of Willow. With a gasp, they heard the string snap and a sickening thump of something piercing flesh._

_ "Willow! Will, NO! NOOO!" Xander went for Willow as she collapsed on the ground, Spike went for the vampire. A shower of dust on the edge of Xander's perception told him the vamp had met its fate. But he didn't care right now._

_ "Xander? Honey?" Willow's voice sounded confused._

_ "I'm right here." Xander skidded beside her and held her head up. _

_ "I- the arrow." Willow's hand grabbed his, wet and red._

_ "Oh, God. Oh God, Willow." Xander took the cross bow from her hand, where it was still held reflexively. He had to pry it loose. The bolt was missing. But he could see where it went. Willow's shirt and pants were soaked with blood, right at the waist band. "Spike!"_

_ "I'm here. I'm here, Red-" Spike gulped down the panic in himself. "Bloody fuckin' hell." He dropped to his knees as well._

_ "Honey?" Willow asked again, more faintly. _

_ "I'm here, Baby. I'm right here." Xander pressed her hand and looked desperately at her as her eyes fluttered shut. "Willow! Open your eyes. Open your eyes, Willow, stay with me." He ordered. _

_ "Give her to me." Spike started scooping her up, carefully._

_ "No!"_

_ "I can run faster. You call ahead. Tell Vance to meet me at her place. Tell Buffy to get the children out of the way, if they're still up." Spike winced as he saw the gory end of the sharp bolt sticking out of her lower back. "Get that out of her."_

_ "No, I think you're supposed to leave it in. It- tugs organs or something. Willow? Will, wake up, Baby." _

_ "Xan, let go of her hand, I gotta fly." Spike pulled the unconscious form free. "Call! I promise I'll make sure she gets there fast!" He ran, muttering to Willow the entire time. "You gotta be okay. You hafta be okay. He needs you. The girl needs you. We all need you, you hear me, Witch?" If she heard, she gave no sign._

* * *

><p><em> Spike didn't care what the neighbors thought, but he prayed no one was watching. This would be a really bad time to talk about his family's role in the town. Carrying the blood soaked body at warp speed, he arrived at Giles' just as Vance flung open the door. <em>

_ "Oh God." Vance and Giles said as one. _

_ "Get her to the addition, quickly." Vance had built a little two room "clinic" onto the house, and she directed Spike there. "Giles, ring for an ambulance."_

_ "You can't help her?"_

_ "She'll need a transfusion, all the blood she's lost."_

_ "I can seal the wound." Spike offered eagerly. Eager to help. Not eager to taste. He looked down at his arms and they were stained, his coat was slick. For one of the few times in his life, the sight and scent of blood was appalling. He thought he might be sick, but he knew he couldn't be. _

_ "As soon as I get it out- if I can." Vance fixed Willow onto her side, and pushed Spike roughly in front of her. "Hold her still."_

_ "She ain't movin' Doc."_

_ "Don't argue, William." She hissed, cutting off Willow's shirt at the back. "Oh, dear Lord. It has to have punctured one of the organs. Maybe more." Vance's voice shook._

_ "WILL!" Xander screamed into the addition, wild eyed and sweating, tears and sweat soaked his face completely. "Willow?"_

_ "Here, get in here." Spike was relieved that her husband was there. If Buffy was the one lying bleeding on a table, he'd want to assist, do it himself. Spike wrapped Xander's arms under Willow's like his had been, locking his hands across her shoulder blades. "Hold her tight, Vee's gonna get the bolt out. Then I'm gonna stop the bleedin'."_

_ "Only on the entry side,enough to stop the flow. She'll have internal bleeding. We'll need to have her looked at, and they'll need to see something of the wound to guide them." _

_ "The ambulance is on its way." Giles panted and came to stand beside his wife and three of those he'd come to consider his children. "Willow, darling? Can you hear me?" He took a limp hand in his, peering desperately at closed, unmoving eyelids._

_ "Hold still." Vance looked at Xander and he nodded. She tugged hard, and Willow screamed, even in her unconscious state, as the wooden shaft pulled free. The noise undid her spouse, who wept bitterly over her, whispering a sobbing "shhh" in her ear._

* * *

><p><em> A few houses away, Buffy sat in an agony of uncertainty, crying silently, one hand on SJ's back, the other clutching the phone. She didn't even dare call Dawn in case that was the exact second they called and told her she was needed. So she sat, and sobbed in worry.<em>

_ "William." Upstairs, Tanya woke in a panic. It was like a nightmare but worse. She was there. She knew where her mother was. But she couldn't get to her._

_ William woke up, eyes almost glowing in the dark. "What's wrong?"_

_ "My mom. My mom. Mommy!" Tanya's words went into a wail, and William joined her, not wailing, calling for help as his small friend's screams echoed in the empty hallway._

_ "Muuuumm!"_

_ Buffy put SJ in her bassinet in a flash, and flew up the stairs. "I'm here, I'm here, Babies, I'm here!" _

_ "Mommy's hurt!" Tanya scream was coming out more wildly, something primal, terrified, and the tips of her hair lifted, the depths of her eyes glowed with a spark of white._

_ "I know, but Daddy and Spike and Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Joey and Aunt Dawn- they're all fixing her, she's going to be fine. I promise, she'll be fine!" Buffy was on her knees, both children in her arms. One of them shaking harder than the other, and the shaking was intensifying. _

_ "Mommy. Is._ Hurt_!" Tanya's tone made the bedsteads rattle and her eyes were pure white now, still weeping tears._

_ Buffy found a kernel of fear, even under all her love. " I know, Sweetie, but we're fixing her. H-How do _you_ know about this?" She whispered, urgently stroking her hair._

_ "I feel her. She's my anchor." Tanya whispered, eyes dimming a notch._

_ "I'll be the anchor for a little bit." William offered, pushing his hand under his mum's, stroking his little friend's hair. He only had a vague idea of what an anchor was, but if Tanya needed one, he would be one._

_ "You don't know any magic."_

_ "But I always help you."_

_ Buffy interceded, arms tightening. "We're family. We will always, always, always help each other. Okay? Everything is going to be fine." _Even if it isn't- well, it just has to be. We need Willow. _ "Everything will be fine." She repeated in a calming whisper._

_ "Promise." William added. _

_ Tanya breathed at triple speed for a second longer, but then calmed, a slow process, but she gradually deescalated. If William promised her something, he made it happen. It was scary right now. But it would be okay._

_ Buffy rocked them more gently, her tears falling on their hair._ I always thought it would be me... It's supposed to be me. Oh, God, Spike, please... hear me, call me, tell me something. Tell me she's okay.

* * *

><p><em>"Okay, we got the approval. Let him in." An ER doctor stepped back nervously from the gurney.<em>

_ "We got this! I promise, we got this!" Joey, in scrubs reached for Xander but stopped, needing to be kept clean. "Vance is wicked good, mate, Willow's gonna be fine."_

_ "She lost so much blood." Xander didn't even know what was happening, the world was melted down to a pale white body and a puddle of blood._

_ Spike and Joey said nothing. Spike was covered in blood, from mid chest to knees, he hadn't had time to change. "I know." Spike finally murmured._

_ "They said it went all the way through." Xander repeated the ER doctor's words in the same hollow, life emptying tone. _

_ "These two are the best, Xander. Plus- family." Spike shook the brunette roughly and watched Joey scurry in to the operating room. "The staff here is great, but with two of the best in the world- Willow'll be fine."_

_ "You stopped some of the bleeding. Thanks." It had been one of the oddest, most terrifying sights in the world, watching Spike's head on Willow's side. It was terrifying, but turned out to be touching. Some of the old hatred and fear had reared inside him, only natural, he would have realized if he'd been able to think at that moment. Willow was down, and he'd been ready to defend Willow if the vampiric tendencies took over. But the larger part of him knew that wasn't going to happen, he trusted Spike, and Spike had earned the trust again that night as he had kissed the wound shut reverently, a tattletale tear running out of closed eyes as he straightened back up._

_ "Wish I could've done more. Wish- well, I wish I'd gotten it. That low down, wouldn't have hurt me any." Spike muttered brokenly. "Wish it'd been me, I- wish it hadn't been her."_

_ "No offense, but wish you'd gotten it, too." Xander wiped his eyes, then bolted up suddenly. Sitting out here wasn't enough, even thirty feet away was twenty nine feet too many. "I'm going in there."_

_ "No, no, you're not!" Spike grabbed his arm and then ducked a thrown punch. "Easy!"_

_ "She might be dying, you idiot!" Xander threw another punch that didn't connect and fell forward- into Giles' arms. "Giles."_

_ "I'm sorry, I had to deal with some- er- hospital forms regarding Vance and Joey using the facilities. Liability wavers."_

_ "Thank you." Xander replied automatically, before he staggered deeper into Giles' arms, the only real parent he'd ever had. _

_ "Shh." Giles gave Spike a frightened look over Xander's shoulder. "The x-rays show it didn't hit a- a vital organ. Only one she can live without."_

_ "She's my _heart_. A heart is pretty damn vital! How do I live without that?" Xander demanded in a hoarse sob._

_ No one said anything._

* * *

><p><em> "Oh God. Oh God, oh dear Lord." Vance whispered and prayed as she cut the ligament. She hated to do it. She wasn't just cutting a ruined organ, she felt like she was cutting off fifty percent of Willow's chance to be a mother again. Biologically speaking, she was. <em>

_ "Vee..." Joey spoke in a warning tone. "Look, if you can't do this, if it's makin' you remember too much-"_

_ "She's stabilizing." The nurse muttered and took the small blob of tissue Vance was holding._

_ "Then that's it." Dr. Franks, the surgeon on call that night didn't understand the strange triad and its connections, the two doctors and the patient. But he knew medicine and he knew surgery and these people were good with a knife. "That must be where the bleeding was coming from."_

_ "There's more in the muscle. Two centimeter tear, I need a tapercut needle to sew up the ligament. Brooke-"_

_ "I'll do the muscles. Arterial?"_

_ "Already got it."_

_ "Oi- would one of you who isn't up to the wrists in this woman please go tell her husband she's okay? That we'll be closing and we'll be putting her into recovery in- what ninety minutes?"_

_ "Sixty or less." Vance's gray eyes flashed confidently. _

_ "Dr. Vance, do you want to make those kind of - timeline promises?" Dr. Franks said nervously._

_ "This is my stepdaughter. Sixty minutes." Vance's hands flashed in and out, silver needle shining red, sutures winking to and fro in the bloody wound. "Or less."_

* * *

><p><em> "It's less likely. That's what it boils down to, doesn't it?" Xander held one hand, and Buffy held the other. The three of them sat in Willow's hospital room a few days later. Well, to be perfectly accurate, he and Buffy sat, Willow reclined and couldn't sit up without severe pain yet. <em>

_ "But it's not impossible." Buffy encouraged._

_ "Exactly." Vance sat at the foot of the bed, in street clothes. She'd been allowed in to perform the surgery because of Spike and Giles' fast talking as they told the staff that Willow had requested her "attending physicians"- and also, she suspected, a little money and a little spell from Giles as well. "Thousands of women have had this condition, having one functioning ovary can be caused by- by many things."_

_ "Like stupid monsters." Willow smiled feebly._

_ "Like me not being there that night." Buffy spoke to her lap._

_ "Like me not being fast enough." Xander's eye closed in misery._

_ "The fact I don't know enough reconstructive techniques..." Even Vance joined in the self-berating._

_ "Hey!" Willow looked around, eyes widening. "Guys!"_

_ "No, honey- I'm- I'm supposed to have your back and I blew it!" _

_ "It's my fault, I've always asked you guys to help and you-"_

_ "You never asked us to help, we always wanted to! And you totally have my back! You always and forever have had my back!" Willow whipped her head to Buffy, then to Xander. "It's my fault! It's _my_ fault!" Willow let out a sob and then doubled in agony. Vance and Xander leapt forward to ease her back down and Vance adjusted the clamp on the IV drip, sending a burst of painkiller into her system. _

_ "Shh. Don't be silly, all of us have gotten hurt on this job, and vamps are-"_

_ Willow cut Buffy off with a fierce twitch of her hand. "I didn't know if I wanted to have more kids. I- I said I was thinking about it, I said I wanted it- but I was scared. I don't know if I'm doing okay with Tanya, even with all of you helping. I almost destroyed the world, I'm a former addict- how am I going to be her anchor? How am I supposed to teach magical responsibility when I'm such a screw up, and- and then when I couldn't even use magic to protect myself! I told her it's okay to use her powers when she's in danger, but there I was, about to get made into soup of the day and I end up almost dying by my own weapon instead of using a simple little fire spell or - or flipping him into an alternate dimension. I could have done a dozen things- and I got my guts ripped through instead. It's a sign. I suck at magic and parenting. So now... now I lose half the chances I'll ever get."_

_ Her outburst was met with a stunned silence. "You're wrong." Buffy whispered._

_ "You could've told me." Xander brushed her limp hair from her forehead. "I'm scared too, and - and I'm a way bigger screw up! I don't even have magic to blame, I'm just naturally bad at important things. Besides- it's my fault. I brought it up too much, made it too big of an issue instead of just getting down on my knees every spare second of the day to thank God that I have a wife and a little girl instead of being greedy and asking for more! You got punished because I was selfish, not because you were scared."_

_ "You are both wrong." Vance stood suddenly, speaking sharply, gray eyes turning to lakes of steel as she looked at the young couple. They were startled out of their outpourings of guilt by her harsh tone, eyeing the normally gentle woman in surprise."There are a million reasons you can all blame yourselves and each other, and you can sit there and weep over the chances you've lost. Or you can think about the chances you still have! Chances some people never get. Excuse me." Vance turned abruptly and left the room, a hand going to her mouth as she closed the door._

_ "Oh. Oh, geez. The whole 'miscarriage-internal organs being nothing but scar tissue- never having a child of her own' thing. Oh shit, Giles is going to kill us." Buffy rose and followed after her "stepmother". "Wills, are you okay if I bail and do the 'sorry we forgot your pain just because we have a new one' apology?"_

_ "Yeah. Tell her we're sorry, too. And that we love her."_

_ Buffy hurriedly chased Vance down, leaving the couple alone. _

_ "I'm so sorry." Willow whispered in the tense silence._

_ "It's my fault."_

_ "It's not!"_

_ "I love you!" Xander took both her hands desperately and glared at her. "I was gonna die if you died. I love you so much, and we're not soul mates, but- but who the hell cares? I never, ever loved anyone like I've loved you, and it's killing me that you might've been-" Words failed and tears took over. _

_ She sat up, not caring for the pain, tears replacing words of her own, a thousands denials or explanations or apologies. _

_ At first. Then she spoke, a little choking sound under the tears. "We'll be okay. There'll be another chance, even if we're screw ups, because- because we both are experts at screwing up and we'll help our kids be okay with messing up or being perfect, or whatever they are."_

_ "Honey, no pressure. No pressure about kids, as in 'kid', plural of."_

_ "No pressure- but no more doubt for me, at least."_

_ "Huh?" Xander was openly surprised._

_ "I do want to have a family. A bigger family. I'm not saying I'm suddenly all better and I'm not scared, and I know this is really bad timing, but- but I'm sure now."_

_ "You just had a major life-changing experience and things are wacky in your head. The life flashing before your eyes moment. Not that we're not used to it by now, but...And, uh, yeah. You're on morphine, Baby." Xander shook his head slightly._

_ "You're my best friend. You always listen to me." Willow looked hurt._

_ "I am! I'm just also trying to hear what you're _not _saying. That this scared you and you're reacting. It's like knowing there's only one more jelly donut in the box. Suddenly you're all about the jelly."_

_ Willow bit her lip, laughed, then smacked him lightly on the arm. "You don't compare our future baby making chances to the last jelly donut!"_

_ "Last potato chip?"_

_ "Xander!"_

_ "Don't make choices when you're scared and upset and all this is fresh!"_

_ They had a battle of eyes for a few minutes. "When did you get so responsible? With the good advice and all the calming stuff?" Xander smiled gently and opened his mouth to respond but found his smile dashed away by her sudden change of tone. "See? See, you're so good at this! Life stuff, husband stuff, parent stuff! That's what matters, that's what makes me a thousand percent sure!"_

_ With a flummoxed look, Xander rubbed her back, gradually prying her off of his chest. "I get that you're sure about this, okay? I guess I'm just saying, make sure of _why _you're sure."_

_ Willow leaned back into the pillows, her resolve and painkillers only doing so much after a massive injury. "I _am_ reacting. Some of it's fear, and some of it might be- just _might _be that last jelly donut thing. But that's not making me say 'Babies, yes!'. It made me say, 'This is my family and I love it so much, I never, ever want to lose it, leave it, or limit it.' I don't want to try because of this, or in spite of this- I want it because we've always wanted it, we've always wanted a family. So more family? Of the good."_

_ Xander nodded slowly. "Always the smart one, Wills."_

_ "Why you love me."_

_ "Yeah. One of a gajillion reasons." His smile stayed grave. "It might not work."_

_ "I know. But I'm not scared to try, once they tell us it's safe to try. And I'm not too worried either way. Tanya already has William and she'll have Sarah Joyce too."_

_ "Blood doesn't matter. It's the bond." Xander pressed his head to hers. _

_ "Those two aren't bonded. They're super glued."_

_ "True. So She'll be okay. No matter what happens for us. Those two'll look out for each other._

**Protectors **

_ "Freakazoid. Your eyes got all glowy in gym when you were afraid of the ball." Jimmy taunted Tanya as she headed down the hall._

_ "They didn't." Tanya countered. But she didn't know. Oh, Mommy was going to be so worried if anyone said anything about her eyes again._

_ "They did! Like big green goo balls. What's wrong with your eyes? Do you have a disease?" Jimmy blocked her path. _

_ "Sometimes they catch the light, that's all." That was what Aunt Buffy and Daddy said when other people noticed it. Uncle Spike said people around here didn't notice sod all, anyway. But they noticed her sometimes. Like now._

_ "Jim, stay away from Tanya, alright?" William's voice was suddenly behind her. _

_ "Her eyes turned all glowy green!" _

_ "Trick of the light." William shrugged. He came over and stood beside Jimmy. Even though all three of them were in third grade, William was by far the strongest, most intimidating one. Tanya felt herself calming down as soon as he looked at her. "She's got pretty green eyes is all. Don't you, Green Eyes?" He smiled, and suddenly Tanya knew having green eyes was the best color to have, ever._

_ "She's a freak. Do you have a crush on your freaky neighbor?"_

_ "Shut up, Jim." William laughed and pushed his shoulder gently. The boy stumbled even though William hadn't shoved him hard, but he didn't appear upset._

_ "Leave us alone." Tanya found her voice again._

_ "She has a crush on you." Jimmy mocked, reaching out and pulling her long brown braid._

_ There was a hiss and a pop and then Jimmy was screaming, holding his hand in front of him. The fingertips were burnt._

_ "I'm sorry!" Tanya gasped._

_ "Mr. Michner! Mr. Michner!" Jimmy shouted, turned, and prepared to run. _

_ William grabbed the back of his shirt. "Shut the bloody hell up, you touched her!" William wasn't laughing anymore. "Tanya- go."_

_ "But-"_

_ "Tanya, go!" _

_ Tanya fled, crying, and she didn't stop even when she hit the playground. She knew she was never supposed to be out of the building alone. But she was, and she was running, almost flying- then really flying- to her favorite reading tree, and then up it._

* * *

><p><em> Inside the building, Mr. Michner looked at Jimmy's hand. "How-"<em>

_ "I did it." William said._

_ "You did what?"_

_ "Hurt his hand." William remained impassive. Dad and Mum would understand if he got in trouble. Tanya needed to be safe. She hadn't meant to zap him. Pillock shouldn'ta touched his girl._

_ "You couldn't have hurt his hand, William. It's a burn."_

_ "It was Tanya! Her hair did it!" Jimmy bawled._

_ "Static electricity, maybe?" Mr. Michner sighed. "Where is Tanya?'_

_ "I'll get her." William volunteered._

_ "You go back to class. Come on, Jimmy, let's get you to the nurse."_

_ "Not bloody likely." William mumbled, and turned once he was out of sight. He sniffed the air, frowned, and then ran, ran properly, like his mum and dad._

_ Tanya gasped when William swung up beside her. "I'm so sorry. I'm _so _sorry,"_

_ "It's fine. It is." William's heart contracted in a funny way whenever he saw Tanya crying. He saw it a lot. It was her powers, it hurt her when they came out wrong, or when she blamed herself for how they came out, even if it was an accident. It wasn't her fault! She was born special, like him. "C'mere, Green Eyes." She brightened at that, and wiggled over on the branch to sit next to him. "Put your head down." He brought it to his shoulder and absently stroked her hair. "Did the headache happen this time?"_

_ "No." She whispered._

_ "That's good." He nodded. _

_ "Is Jimmy okay?"_

_ "Yup."_

_ "Is Mr. Michner looking for me?"_

_ "Nope."_

_ "Why not?"_

_ " 'Cause he doesn't know you can get burned from pullin' a braid."_

_ "Is that what Jimmy told him?" She gasped._

_ "Nope."_

_ "William!"_

_ "What, Tanya?"_

_ "You're doing it again!"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Talking in little tiny words! You're really, really smart and you don't let anyone know."_

_ "But I know an' you know." He pulled his eyebrows together. "That's all that matters, yeah?"_

_ Tanya sighed and put her head back into his arms. "Yeah. If we know the truth about stuff, that's good enough."_

* * *

><p><em> "William, why'd you tell Mr. Michner you hurt Jimmy's hand? I know it's not true!" Buffy exclaimed after William finished telling her about his day.<em>

_ " 'Cause Tanya's hair did it."_

_ Spike and Buffy exchanged a look. "Huh?" Buffy asked, not sure she was following._

_ "Well, everyone knows I'm fast an' stronger than the other kids- remember the bus door?"_

_ "I remember the bus door." Spike winced. Frantic trip to Vance's surgery hours because his son tried to hold the door open for a kid with an aquarium. Stupid hydraulic door release. And William had sprained his wrist. "Go on, son."_

_ "But no one is s'posed to know Tanya can make magic. So when he pulled her hair an' got burned, I told her to go. Because I could say I did it. On accident." William scuffed the carpet with his shoe. "You angry?"_

_ "I'm dead proud." Spike rubbed his son's hair affectionately. "You looked after her."_

_ "I bet it was a hard choice to make and you did the right thing." Buffy hugged him._

_ "It wasn't hard. It was Tanya." He smiled and his parents glowed at him. "So I can still play on the football team?"_

_ "Yeah, but call it soccer when you're at school. Confuses the Yanks otherwise." Spike teased. "Let's go see how your partner in crime is farin'."_

_ "Don't call her that." William said with perfect seriousness. "It isn't a crime to be different."_

_ For some reason that made his mother burst into tears and his father hugged him harder than he could ever remember being hugged before._

* * *

><p><em> "Is William in trouble?" Tanya couldn't think about anything else. She didn't want dinner, she just wanted to see him, or curl up in bed. Since William had to talk to his parents first, she'd chosen the second option.<em>

_ "No, Princess. He's fine." Xander soothed._

_ "Because it was an accident, but it was my fault and h-he shouldn't get in trouble!" _

_ "Everyone understands, Muffin." Willow hugged her tightly. "And you didn't do anything wrong. What Jimmy did was wrong. He teased you and you got upset and reacted. We just have to work on finding a way to harness your reactions- until you're at home with some toast."_

_ "Mommy!" Tanya cracked a smile at her mother's mischievous grin._

_ "Ooh, you could make breakfast every morning." Xander teased, joining the hug. "We'll put one pigtail in the coffee and one on the bread... of course you'll have to wash your hair before and after."_

_ "Daddy! Gross." Tanya giggled. "But no one's in trouble? You'll make sure?"_

_ "We promise." Xander and Willow said as one._

* * *

><p><em> The adults sat around the table in Willow and Xander's dining room. "Thank God everything worked out okay. I spoke to William's teacher and they said no one was in trouble and they think the student got some kind of extra big static electricity shock, and it was all on his own head because he pulled Tanya's hair." Buffy was the first to speak.<em>

_ "Tanya's teacher said the same thing. So yeah. No big." Willow smiled, then twitched with pent up nerves. "I'm all for homeschooling." She said suddenly._

_ "Not that I'm against it, philosophically, but I think they need to get out with other people a bit. We're not like most families, and even though were big- there's just us." Spike twirled an unlit cigarette between his thumb and finger._

_ "We'll just have to set up a rota. Along with patrols and Alliance trips." Vance suggested._

_ "But you can't stake out schools. They call that predator behavior." Xander ran his hands through his hair._

_ "Perhaps a boarding-" Giles didn't even complete the sentence. His family was giving him glares that could've taken off several layers of skin. "Forgive me. What idiocy."_

_ "Amen to that." Buffy muttered._

_ "PTO!" Dawn slapped her hand down on the table._

_ "What's that, Beautiful?" Joey asked, not sure he'd heard right._

_ "We all sign up for the PTO. ParentTeacher Organization. Volunteers are always needed. Everyone but Spike can sign up, so that's-"_

_ "I can do my bit!" He said hotly._

_ "You're gonna look great on field day or at the fun run lemonade stands- nice and crispy." Dawn leaned over and poked him in the middle of his chest._

_ "They got night jobs! The book fair had an' evenin'. Back to school night. Plays. Orchestra concerts. I helped with you, Niblet, don't you forget."_

_ "So we all sign up." Joey would enjoy watching a match between his surprisingly feisty wife and his brother-in-law, his two best mates over here, aside from Vance, but tensions were already running high, and the movie the sprogs were watching would only last so long._

_ "That makes eight of us."_

_ "But the babies-"_

_ "We'll have to cope. At least everyone's finished a degree that's getting a degree." Giles sighed. We'll add child care to the list, and we'll see what can be done about the PTO. Dawn, Joey, without children-"_

_ "We'll do baby sitting if they won't let us in as aunts and uncles." Dawn said easily. _

_ "You two better get this show on the road. Look at all the fun you're missin' out on." Spike grinned ruefully. _

_ "You wouldn't trade it for the world, mate." Joey laughed._

_ "True."_

**Always**

_"Are you ever tired of always being the weirdo?" Tanya asked, peeling her orange moodily in the shade of their tree on the playground. _

_ "Nah. Not too weird." William reached over and stole a pip. _

_ "Well, I am." The fifth grader bit savagely into her orange and the juice fired everywhere. "Ughh!" _

_ "What's making you nuts?" William asked and calmly wiped juice from his eye._

_ "Lexy!"_

_ "Well, little sisters can be pains in the butt."_

_ "She's NORMAL! Uncle Joey and Grandma and Mom have all tried testing her, testing her a billion different ways and the little brat is _normal_. No magic at all. It'll be a miracle if she can ever even learn a spell, she's so- so- _normal_!"_

_ William moved over to her, pale face that never tanned puzzled and concerned. Tanya was the least likely person in the world to complain and she adored her sister, and his sister and brother as well. She was patient and kind and sweet. She hardly ever went round the twist like this, yelling and all. "Then she probably feels like the odd one out, huh? I mean- we're all special and she's not? Doesn't have somethin' unusual about her, I mean."_

_ Tanya nodded, then sobbed suddenly, flinging the orange away. _

_ William's hand went where it always did, on the back of her head, stroking her hair evenly. "Who do I beat up?"_

_ "No one!" The sobs faltered and then doubled. "Everyone!"_

_ "Mum'll kill me." He smiled grimly. Mum could try, not that she would. Didn't matter. He was hard to kill, people'd been trying since was born according to what his parents whispered when they thought he couldn't hear. "Oh well. What'd everyone do?"_

_ "In sixth grade you stop having recess and you have study hall and you have boy-girl parties and they have dances! And- and Jimmy said no one's ever going to come to my parties or go to dances with me. Because I'm a freak with zombie eyes."_

_ "You got beautiful green eyes." _

_ "Mom and Daddy say that, but- but they're not in school. They don't get teased." She wiped at her eyes. "I'm going to be alone and never have friends and never have a boyfriend and never be cool..."_

_ William's hand continued stroking. He didn't talk a lot. His family was full of talking people and his best friend in the world was like a dictionary with a ponytail. But when he did talk, it was usually to her, and she got the most of his words. "Not true. But if it was, so what? You'll always have me."_

_ Tanya's head jerked up and then her hands followed, hugging him hard, not caring that they were still technically in sight of everyone on the playground. No one looked at them most of the time, anyway. They either stared or looked away depending on the situation. At recess, they looked away. No one bothered her when William was there beside her. "Thanks, Will."_

_ "Anytime, Green Eyes." He hugged her back. He didn't care if all the guys saw him or not. Didn't matter. Tanya was his best friend and she was his_ real _friend, not just someone he hung out with or played with. Tanya belonged with him. "You know, I'm glad you're like you are."_

_ Tanya gave him an indignant look._

_ "I'd be the only one in fifth grade with the mojo if you weren't. If I gotta be a freak, rather be a freak with a best friend."_

_ "Oh. Oh, William." Tanya bit her lip and all her self-absorbed thoughts seemed to flee. "I'll always be here for you too. Even when we're grown ups."_

_ "We can go to the dance together. If we hafta go." He didn't like the idea, truth be told. "Couldn't we stay home?" He asked tentatively. _

_ "Yeah. No, we should go to the mall and the movies and the arcade because that's way funner than a stupid dance!"_

_ "Plus, training!" _

_ "You like training. I hate it." Tanya reminded him with an eye roll._

_ "How can you hate it?" He laughed incredulously. Training was the one time it was safe to unleash all his strength and speed and not earn funny looks._

_ "Because instead of finally getting to be free like you, I practice locking myself up." Tanya sighed and twisted her hands. "I try so hard to be good. I just wonder- how long am I gonna have to practice before- before I can't hurt anyone?" She whispered._

_ William nodded. He hadn't thought about that. Maybe he'd always thought about it, just never really thought too hard, because Tanya was always doing her best. She was always doing so well, he'd just assumed she liked it, that it was another achievement for her like winning the science fair or reading olympics. "I dunno, Green Eyes." The pet name slipped out more and more lately, as easy as calling Sarah Joyce "SJ" or Alexa "Lexy" or saying "Alex" instead of Alexander. "Maybe never. Maybe you'll always have to work that hard."_

_ "That's what I'm afraid of." She rubbed her head, she could feel another magically induced tension headache forming._

_ "Don't be afraid. An' remember, you can never hurt_ me_. I'm too tough." He bulged a muscle and winked._

_ That wasn't true. But when William said something, promised something, it did come true. Just like when her mom was in the hospital and she could feel her life slipping away, feel the blackness creeping over her. William said she'd be okay, and in the morning her dad was holding her up to the window and her mom was waving at her. So suddenly- it was true. Tanya wasn't scared anymore, not of being alone, and not of hurting people. _

**Habits**

_"Don't be afraid of hurtin' me, Mini. Jus' lay it on me." Spike watched the twelve year old with encouraging eyes as they circled. _

_ "No magic! Just you. All you!" Buffy shouted encouragement from behind._

_ "Magic _is _me!" Tanya yelped and tried a roundhouse. It failed. She fell, and her uncle looked worried. "I'm fine!"_

_ "Maybe that's enough for today." Buffy said with a nervous smile. Xander would kill her- and she was hard to kill- if his baby girl, his eldest little princess, got hurt._

_ "But we just started." Tanya blinked in frustration. She would not cry. Would not, _would not_, not in front of her Aunt Buffy, the toughest woman in the whole world. Still, she was a failure. Total failure, couldn't make it through ten minutes of training. She wasn't only a freak, she was a bad human. She couldn't do normal human stuff, but she could do magic, she could-_

_ "New partner." William stopped whittling stakes in the corner. _

_ "Not your turn." Spike reminded him._

_ "Well, if Tanya's gonna be done anyway, why can't I have a turn?"_

_ "Uh-" Buffy shrugged, unable to think of a good answer._

_ "Will!"_

_ "You can't hurt me, remember?" _

_ "Magic can hurt you! Remember Halloween and the caramel apple that went nuts?" Tanya hissed._

_ "I keep tellin' you, I didn't even feel it. If that magic is _you_, not gonna get hurt, am I? 'Cause you'd never hurt me, never let me get hurt." He said easily and put on his grandfather's training mitts. "Just kick the padded bits then." _

_ Buffy and Spike settled into the back of the basement. "Does he know what he's doing?" Buffy whispered, perching on the weapons chest, picking up a stake that was half whittled._

_ "Nope." Spike picked up a second one._

_ "He's good at it. Look at her." Buffy hissed. Tanya seemed less nervous and all she was doing was kicking the padded sparing gloves on William's hands- but she was no longer awkward. She was beautiful, legs in a neat, straight follow through._

_ "What's he doing that I don't do? I trained One Eye and Dawn, no one can say that was an easy task!" Spike chuckled._

_ Buffy cocked her head and listened intently. "Use your vampy hearing, he's coaching her on something."_

_ Spike inclined his head as well. "Nothin' much. 'Look at me. Look right at me." _

_ "Hmm. Seems to work though." Buffy smiled and took him by the arm. "Think they'll be okay if we leave and check on the other two?"_

_ "Sure. Be back in a few. No sharp objects!" Spike warned._

_ William barely nodded and Tanya didn't blink._

_ "Look right at me, Green Eyes. Keep it comin'- right at me."_

**Growing up **

_ "Ready, Green Eyes?" A fourteen year old William, already looking like a man, with a broad chest and an easy gait, asked his best friend, his something more, if she was finished. _

_ "Just one more?" Tanya straightened up from where she was bending in the untidy greenery._

_ "You can't possibly carry all those weeds." _

_ "Herbs!"_

_ "Whatever. Madge told you to knock off back here half an hour ago and your parents will go ballistic if you're not home by dark."_

_ "Why? I'm safe with you." Tanya winked and handed him three gallon bags filled with sage and mint. "Those go to Mom. I'll take the rest to Grandpa and Grandma's house tomorrow."_

_ "We're on sitting duty or cooking duty?"_

_ "Sitting tonight, cooking tomorrow."_

_ "Bloody hell."_

_ "William!"_

_ "Sorry, Luv."_

_ Tanya blushed. When William called her Luv or Green Eyes it was like her whole body flip flopped inside. She had a crush. She didn't even know how it had happened. Up until last year, he was totally her bestest bestie and it wasn't romantic at all. Aunt Dawn said it was just "puppy love" and in a few years she'd be back to thinking William was an annoying older brother type of guy. But William had never annoyed her. Brotherly had changed, too, into best friends, then - more. Something kind of sneakily unspoken but always there. _

_ "It's okay. Besides, that's mild to what Alex and Lexy say."_

_ "I know. They get away with murder, those two. Bein' the eldest ain't all shits and giggles."_

_ "William!"_

_ "Oh, Green Eyes, you know I'm only doin' it for fun."_

_ "You're going to end up a juvie!"_

_ "I'm already a juvie. Remember last year? I got suspended that Friday before Halloween."_

_ "You should've told them it was me!"_

_ "It wasn't you."_

_ "I melted a locker!"_

_ "Someone said all witches should be burned at the stake and you put on your high beams. Wasn't your fault. Why should you get punished?" William reached out suddenly to brush a stray hair out of her eyes, those eyes that could suddenly go atomic in their fury._

_ "Why should you?"_

_ "Didn't much like what they were servin' for lunch that Friday. Mystery Surprise. Me thinks the cafeteria ladies doth protest too much." William winked and Tanya sighed and shook her head. "I was bein' chivalrous."_

_ "Chivalry is dead." Tanya sighed. _

_ "I learned from a guy pushin' two hundred. It was still alive back then."_

_ The teens laughed and headed home from working in Madge's shop garden, cutting across the park in the dusk. "Are you packin'?" William asked suddenly, a strange prickling going up his spine._

_ "Just a stake and myself. I'm pretty lethal, wouldn't you- William!"_

_ William whirled and felt scared for the first time ever, really, properly scared. Even when his parents had been injured or they'd been pulled out of school and into hiding once or twice over the last decade, he hadn't felt fear like this. He'd known his family could handle it. They'd saved the world. But now- it was just him, and he didn't have to save the world, he just had to save Tanya. _

_ "Tanya, run!" _

_ Tanya didn't move. It was one of "those people". No, _three_ of "those people". Nondescript, dressed in black, silent, but menacing. The people the adults in her family whispered about and told her she'd know if she met. There was no concrete description for them, because over the years, "those people" had been in many different forms. But they'd know, her parents had always warned, by the sudden feeling that something was just wrong, that danger and evil had a physical form. Tanya didn't know who they were or even _what _they were, but it was the way they circled them, isolating them, moving them to the edge of pines farthest from the road that tipped her off. _

_ Her pulse sped up as silence fell, a purely menacing silence, and the three seemed to move in with coordinated steps. Three sets of hands reached into coat pockets and didn't emerge. Her heart was beating in her mouth, and she couldn't swallow._

They want us. Maybe one of us. They want William because he's one of the only three children in history of a slayer and vampire. Or they want me. Because I have power. I have power...

_William's eyes seemed to move across all of them in the space of a second. His training was so ingrained that he went into super sensory, battle mode with no effort. Just like his parents had known he would, why they'd helped him work on honing his skills everyday after school. He had to pick just the right second, when one was close but not too close, when _he_ was still in control of the field. "Bring the battle to them. Always control the ground," his mother's voice was a whisper in his head. "Find that part of you that's not pure human," his father's voice was a low rumble in his ear, "and unleash it..."_

_ "MOVE!" William roared to Tanya and launched himself hard at the nearest one, shoulder to the gut, and that was one down on the ground._

_ "NOOOOO!" Tanya's cry split the air and the earth, twitching hard as magic enveloped her. William was on the ground and he was in danger. She forgot to be scared. "Get away from him!" _

_ William blinked and felt the assailants hold loosen on him as Tanya's form seemed to shimmer. _

_ "I said _get away from him_! " Arcs of gold light went out around her and the air seemed to smoke._

_ The man holding onto his arm dropped his hold completely, shaking as the light hit him. The other two were dropping to the ground as well. "Tanya..."_

_ She fell next, hands to her head, wild eyed. "Get away from him!" She screeched again._

_ "Tanya, look at me! Look right at me, not them, at me. I'm fine, we've gotta get out of here." William was crawling towards her, then running in a crouch._

_ "Will?"_

_ "They're down and we're okay, and we have to go. _Now._"_

_ "I- I can't move, it's too much, it's all over me." Tanya winced as the gold light seemed to keep pouring out of her. William could hear the speeding up of her heart rate, but feel it getting fainter. Fast and thready. _

_ "Turn it off."_

_ "I can't, I'm not a light bulb!" She cried. _

_ "Well, I'm gettin' us out of here, so-" William moved forward and made as if to tackle her._

_ "Don't touch me!" Tanya shrieked, and as soon as she realized that there was no time to divert him, that he would hit her- the power cut out of her system. She saw his face a few feet away and then inches. "Look right at me, don't worry about anything but you an' me..." She could hear it in his head, she could always hear him if she tried. She gasped as he knocked into her , then scooped her up, set her on her feet and pulled her along at his inhuman speed._

_ "Gotta get to Mum and Dad, gotta tell 'em-"_

_ William never got to finish the sentence because as he was running from the scene, a black coated blur was running in, followed by a blue hazy streak. _

_ "Never mind, then." William blinked. "Dad?"_

_ "Mommy?" Tanya gasped._

_ There was demonic roar and the sounds of cartilage ripping and flesh tearing. _

_ "Incindere." A calm, deadly voice that echoed, followed by an acrid smell._

_ "Whoa..." William and Tanya exchanged glances._

_ "Whoa- is- right." Dawn panted in anxiety and called out the window as her blue sedan pulled up along side the curb. They were both standing, a little muddy, a little grass stained, but standing. Her breathing evened. "You guys okay?"_

_ "Yeah. Think so." William looked to his friend. He sounded like his laid back self again. That battlefield fire had left him. _

_ "Headache. Biiiiig headache." Tanya winced. "How'd-"_

_ Dawn emerged from the car and looked past them, watching her friends making short work of those who'd dared to attack their young. "When you turn up the volume on the power, kiddo, everyone knows it. Giles and I were trying to do a little portent reading and we got knocked off our chairs. Your mom felt it and she started scrying and teleporting at warp speed. Like, _literal _warp speed. She was out of the house in under a minute. Spike saw where the crystal was leading and just booked it, vamp style. Good thing it's dark enough- 'cause he would've run here in daylight for you two." Dawn embraced her niece and nephew with sudden ferocity. "Thank God. Thank God..."_

_ "They're stalking us again. Dunno who, dunno if it's one of the cults we know about or new bastards. But they're not any less dead." Spike emerged, bloody and angry looking. _

_ "We- we didn't mean to be out so late." Tanya looked fearful and upset with herself, as if somehow she'd caused this whole thing. No matter what her parents said, how often they told her being special didn't suddenly give you the right to be attacked and it was the sickos who were at fault, she always blamed herself. "Oh no, the herbs! Mom, the herbs are-"_

_ "Fried to a crisp. I don't care. Herbs are nothing compared to you two being okay." Willow embraced her daughter and held her tight, looking between her and William. "Did they say anything?"_

_ "Not a bloody word." William found himself pulled into his dad's one armed hold. "Just got there, all the sudden, out of no where. I felt uneasy about a second before. I know. That's not good enough." He hung his head. _Failure. Sensory trained by the best in the world and I don't feel a damn thing until they're on top of us. On top of her. God, what if they'd gotten her? _That training and skill he'd shown instinctively was great, but he should never even have had to use it. _ Failure.

_ Spike's voice shut out his inner agony. "They probably were cloaked, boy, don't be so hard on yourself. The main thing is, they're dead, you're alive."_

_ "Tanya did it. She knocked them out."_

_ Spike and Willow exchanged a glance. Those three weren't knocked out, they'd been paralyzed, frozen, petrified in place, welded to the earth itself, living statues. _

_ "William saved me." Tanya argued. "He tackled one, he told me to run."_

_ "But you didn't. You fried 'em, Green Eyes."_

_ The two teens beamed at each other. "Guess we do alright as a team." Will said with a careless shrug._

_ "Good. You looked after one another." Spike praised. Willow and Dawn exchanged a look. "You wanna ride home with Dawn or walk with us?"_

_ "Walk." They answered as one. _

_ "Alright. Stick close." Willow took the lead and Spike trailed behind, the kids in the middle. Dawn watched them walk away, an odd smile on her face as she looked at the pair in the center. They moved like one person in two halves, easy, relaxed, close, even after the fright they'd just had. William lazily placed an arm around her shoulder and Tanya leaned on him. _

Well, well, well. So much for puppy love. That might be the real thing. _Dawn smiled to herself and put the car in drive._

_To be continued..._


	28. Chapter 28

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Starting Over". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. _

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Author's Note: The final section is definitely sweet but M-rated! It's smut, but it's such beautiful, loving smut I don't know the right term. Enjoy!_

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, HowistheDramaQueen, and TeddyBear-514_

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXVIII

**Tanya and William's Story Part II**

**Sweethearts**

_ "I told you this would happen one day." Xander spat. "One day she'd realize he wasn't just a 'brother' to her."_

_ "You win, okay, geez!" Buffy turned to her best friend. Xander had aged, now in mid-30's, while she and Spike remained frozen in time, the same age they had been at the time of the claim, for Buffy, early twenties, for Spike, an endless 28._

_ "Well- should we break it up or something?" Xander moved the back porch curtain again and winced. "Your son is groping my baby girl!"_

_ "They're 16! They're not groping anything! Wait until they head to the De Soto, then we can worry." Buffy was mildly shocked, but then again, she was also happy. William hadn't really seemed into any girl in particular, although all of them were interested in him. She was glad he had high standards. Tanya was the smartest, sweetest girl you could ask for, and beautiful, long dark hair, perfect skin, magic powers that made Willow's look obsolete. Oddly enough, in the last ten years, it wasn't William or his little sister and brother the baddies had come for, it was always Tanya. Tanya who could melt a villain with a well placed thought, Tanya who would cry every time she accidentally stepped on a ladybug, and treated her little sister and her little "pseudo sibs" with tender affection._

_ "He's like his father. All leather jackets, and smooth talking, with the accent, and the hair!"_

_ "William? _My_ William?" Buffy gave him a disbelieving look. "You sure you aren't confusing him with some other kid?" William might look and sound like Spike, but he was no "smooth talker". He was sweet, smart, and athletic, more like his mother. Stubborn as anything, reckless sometimes. Strong, far stronger than he should be, far faster than he should be, but he had no temper at all. Laid back, but determined. Sometimes Spike said he took after Jim and wondered if some transcendental crossover had happened during conception._

_ "I can't stand here and watch this." Xander groaned._

_ "Watch what? What are we watching?" Spike and Willow came to the darkened porch window, falling in beside their partners. "Is it something bad?"_

_ "Yes!" Xander told his wife._

_ "No!" Buffy disagreed. _

_ "William's got himself a honey, has he?" Spike chuckled, looking out the window. " 'Bout bloody time, boy's had one hell of a followin' with the local girls. Who's the lucky lady?"_

_ "It's Tanya." Xander said in a dead voice. Willow gasped and Spike did a full on double take._

_ "WHAT? Tanya? What d'you mean, 'Tanya'?"_

_ "I mean, your son is feeling up my baby girl! That vicious little vampire spawn-"_

_ " 'Scuse me? If your little superwicca didn't like it, she'd blink an' have my son thrown clear 'cross state lines!" _

_ "Guys! Guys, stop!" Buffy and Willow tugged their husbands apart. "Why are you so freaked?" Willow demanded. An angry swarm of comments burst forth and she rolled her eyes. "Never mind! Stop! Honey-" she turned to Xander with melting eyes, "is there something wrong with falling for your best friend?"_

_ "Baby, can you blame him for wanting someone he can trust, who trusts him, who believes in him, even though he's different?" Buffy rubbed Spike's back._

_ "Is there any guy you'd trust her with more?"_

_ "Is there any girl sweeter? Besides Sarah Joyce, I mean." Buffy said with maternal bias._

_ "No." Both men admitted grudgingly._

_ "This is worse than when Bit fell for that stupid doctor." Spike grumbled. Then he tilted his head in thought. "No, come to think of it _that_ was worse. 'Cause I didn't know him, didn't trust him, not like I know our kids, and if not for Vance swearin' up and down on him-"_

_ "We know. Dead doctor. We got it." Willow laughed._

_ "Yes, I think we all remember that fateful day." Xander had to smile in spite of his churning worry. "Frankly, I think you were over the top. Lunging at him as soon as he got through the door, in full vamp face and dragging him down to the basement."_

_ "Only one thing saved that boy. He said 'I hear you hate Tottenham'." Spike sighed in reminiscence. "That and he swore I had first dibs on mangling him to a pulp if he ever hurt our girl."_

_ "He's a good guy. And William and Tanya are good kids. And they're _just_ kids. We're way jumping the gun, here." Willow interceded. "I'm sure they're not planning to make things permanent, they're only - where'd they go?"_

_ "Buggerin' hell!" Spike pushed out of the back door, Xander over taking him in his fatherly fury._

_ "Worry if they go to the De Soto, you said." He shouted to Buffy. "Did you actually _watch_ the kids? Or the car?"_

_ "Shut up and get out of my way!" Buffy turned on her slayer speed and burst out to the carport in the backyard. "Oh my God!"_

_ William and Tanya looked up guiltily, standing in front of the De Soto's open hood. "Mum!"_

_ "Daddy!" Tanya looked horrified. "Uncle Spike! This was supposed to be a surprise!"_

_ "What, you having sex in the back of a vampire's car with a vampire's son was gonna be a gift for me?" Xander shouted._

_ "Sex?" Tanya burst into tears." Wh-what do you mean? W-we weren't..."_

_ "Wouldn't we be in the _back_ of the car, not under the hood if we were gonna do stuff?" William asked with a casual slouch towards his overreactive family. He reached back and pulled Tanya with him. "Don't cry, Green Eyes." He stroked her long hair comfortingly, something he'd always done, ever since he was small and she'd started having magically induced headaches when she had trouble controlling her growing powers. _

_ "Boy has a point." Spike smiled easily at the young couple. They were right smashing together. And Willow's words aside, about them just being kids, this not being permanent, he could look at them and see a lifetime in the way his son took her hand, and the way she unwaveringly trusted him with it. "What you doin' with my car then?"_

_ "Tanya said she could fix the carburetor- maybe. If not, we're gonna order the parts for you."_

_ "So- you just thought we were _doing_ stuff?" Tanya glared around resentfully. "Why?"_

_ "We kinda saw kissage happening." Buffy confessed._

_ "Mum! You we're spyin' on us?" William, not easily riled, started to get angry. "That's not on!"_

_ "We weren't spying, Will, I promise. We just- saw." _

_ "Daddy, how could you?" Tanya stomped one petite foot._

_ "Why is it always me, never your mother, who gets the stomp?" Xander demanded, pointing to Willow._

_ "It's the father-daughter bond, Sweetie." Willow grinned complacently._

_ "Thank you, Luvs." Spike derailed the conversation. "Been worried about the carburetor for some time. Tanya, show us what's to be done?"_

_ "I can't figure it out. Mom?"_

_ Willow stepped up to the car. "Well, I haven't done hardcore mechanical diagnosis in a long time, but I think I can help..."_

* * *

><p><em> "I acted stupid. Huh, Buff?"<em>

_ "Maybe a little 'overzealous'." She leaned her head into her "brother's" arm as they walked back into the house._

_ "I'm sorry. For what I said about William. I love all of them, all of you. Even if they're Spike's. Hell, _because _they're Spike's, and yours. He's a rotten guy, but he's a good friend, a good husband, and a good dad. William, Sarah, and Alex are good kids."_

_ "Is there a but coming? 'Cause it feels like a but should be coming." Buffy looked up at him affectionately._

_ "The vampires always get the girl. It was never me. Never the normal guy." He sighed deeply, head tilting back, looking up at the starry sky. "Not that I'm complaining. I got Anya. I got Willow. Now I have Tanya and Lexy. I'm glad you've got what you've got. It's just- you know." He turned towards her. One more precious thing to him was probably destined to go to something with a touch of souled human with demon accents._

_ "I _do_ know." She gently kissed his cheek. He'd always loved her, and even when he wasn't _in _love with her, she knew her choices in men often puzzled her. "But you know what?" She nodded her head to where the two teens were now hugging and whooping victoriously over a roaring engine._

_ "What? Them?"_

_ "Yeah. Looks like one of the Harris kids finally gets one of the Summers." She winked._

_ "Hey. Yeah, you're right!" Then he shrugged, trying not to look too pleased with himself, or rather, the extension of himself. "Oh, well. Not like it's anything more than puppy love, right?"_

_ "Xander! You know what happens when you jinx things like that!"_

_ "I know." He smiled triumphantly._

_ "Now they're gonna end up getting old and gray together." She bit back a grin._

_ "Probably." He made no effort to conceal his look of pleasure._

_ "You were all freaked out Papa Bear a second ago."_

_ "She'll grow up, whether I like it or not. And she's gonna fall in love with some guy, whether or not I want her to." He wrapped one muscled arm around the woman he'd loved, in one way or another, for over twenty years. "You can't do better than finding someone you'd like to hang with for all eternity. A best friend." He looked over to Willow. "And someone you can love, even more than that. The best thing is if you can put all of it together in one person."_

_ Buffy looked over at Spike, the man who'd become all things to her over time, best friend, partner, lover, mate, husband, father of her children, and caught his eye. He smiled with that tongue curling grin and a wink that still managed to make her feel tingly, even after all this time. "That is the best, Xan. It's kinda like heaven."_

**The Ones**

_ "I'm all black and greasy." Tanya complained and scrubbed at her hands in the shed's utility sink._

_ "Looks good on you." William said simply and squirted more soap on her hands. "Dad was thrilled."_

_ "I think they're so sweet. The way Uncle Spike and your mom immediately jumped in and roared out of here. Joyriding like they're young again."_

_ William's shoulders, several inches broader than Spike's even though he wasn't done growing, became stiff and he nodded._

_ Tanya kicked herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean- young like as in age." She knew, even without him saying anything, that it troubled him. His parents were eternally young. In just a few years, he'd be as old as his mother was, or at least seemed to be, given her frozen in time status. _

_ "No worries. She _is _young. They _are _young. In a way." _Dad's dead. He died young, but here he is. Guess that's young enough.

_ "That glamour- the really complicated one- it'll make things easier. They'll look the right age to the outside world..."_

_ "Yep."_

_ Tanya hated when he did this. William didn't say much as a rule, but she was the exception to the rule. She knew all about him, all his secrets, all his dreams, all the stuff he didn't tell anyone else. "Will... I meant like young and in love, like it's all new for them all over again. They're acting like teenagers, and they're just- always in love with each other." _

_ William's eyes clouded and he turned to her. "You think that's what it's s'posed to be like? All splashy an' crazy on each other the whole time? That's bein' in love?"_

_ Tanya was relieved and taken aback all at once. William was talking to her, but he looked so somber, maybe even a little upset. He was too young to be so worried, and yet they both were like that. Quiet and serious, but usually pretty happy. Because of what they had. "I don't know. I guess it depends on the people."_

_ "See, they're claimed. They've got one soul and one heart in two bodies, that's them. They're eternal. Some mystical mojo and all these primal instincts 'cause he's part demon and she's demonic power harnessed for good." William broke the bar of soap he'd been scrubbing with in half as his fist clenched. Half of it flew across the sink and bounced off her elbow. "Sod."_

_ "What's wrong with that? That's who they are." Tanya spoke softly as she handed the soap back to him._

_ "Well, I'm not them! I'm young an' in love an' I'm not all flash, okay?" William turned to her suddenly, his normally mellow voice suddenly raised. Tanya didn't flinch, but he still felt guilty. "Sorry."_

_ "I'm not." Tanya was floating. Young and in love. In love with her. No doubt, because he'd been kissing her tonight, suddenly kissing her, kissing her in a definitely un-brotherly, not as a friend way. William didn't play with her feelings either. He kissed her because he felt something for her. She just hadn't thought he'd say it like this, come out with it. High school boys were shy or scared or stupid, according to Aunt Dawn and her parents."You love me? As in romantically, I mean? Like Spike and Buffy?" Her voice was a half whisper, a half octave too high._

_ "I love you like you an' me, best I know how. I'm not crazy like them. I love you 'cause I love you and I think you've always been the one. Someday I'd like to ask you to marry me and someday I hope you'll say yes, but it's too early an' no one'll take me seriously-"_

_ "I do." Tanya put a wet hand on his sudsy arm. "We always take each other seriously."_

_ "Then listen. I don't say a lot but I talk your bleedin' ear off. I love you. You're my girl, Green Eyes. I'm serious about you."_

_ "I know. Me, too." It was obvious. It was simple, it should have been apparent to everyone way before this, but tonight, suddenly her eyes were opening. "You're the one."_

_ "I thought so." William smiled and kissed her once, softly, a quick pull forward and quick release._

_ "They'll say it's puppy love. They'll say we can't. We're too close. It'd be weird." Tanya was always quick to voice her fears to Will. _

_ He was always quick to soothe them. "Then they'll just have to watch us prove it's the real thing. Slow and steady. You an' me. But they're smart. They'll see. One day."_

**Always Been In Love**

_ "Hello, my one and only." William popped his head around the door of Tanya's dorm room. _

_ "Hey! Come in, Krissy's out." Tanya, now a finishing sophomore welcomed in her boyfriend/ best friend/high school sweetheart/college sweetheart. In short- her everything._

_ "Good. I came to steal you."_

_ "But- I gotta pack up. Tomorrow at 10 is room inspection and Daddy'll be here with the truck." She wiped her sweaty forehead with a dusty hand. "How can two semesters equal so much grime and crap to throw out?"_

_ William laughed and closed the door. "Time me?"_

_ Tanya's eyes lit up. "Don't touch any of the stuff on the desk." She warned. _

_ "I won't." Will slipped out of his shirt, making her blush and look at him hungrily. He had perfectly pale skin with a perfectly muscular physique under it. "I'm ready."_

_ "Okay- ready, set, go!" Tanya yipped with laughter and scooted back onto the bed, watching her boyfriend almost blur the air as he became a human whirlwind, cleaning and boxing up items, packing her dorm for the summer. He did in ten minutes what it would have taken her an hour to do, since she never used magic unless fighting or protecting._

_ "Well?" He panted as he stopped, placing the last box in the stack in front of her. _

_ "Eleven minutes, twenty two seconds."_

_ "Damn. Aimin' for an even ten." He shrugged and laughed and put his shirt back on. Tanya gave him a pout. "No fair me bein' the only one topless." He teased and they both blushed. In spite of the rabid sexual atmosphere of their houses and even their families- in three years of serious dating, they'd never attempted anything beyond second base. Without even saying anything, they knew. Knew they'd get there, but wanted it to be private, passionate, as adults, not as teens their parents might judge. It was their decision to take it slowly, but having the closest-knit family in the universe, and someone always under foot, and always a job to do helped. They moved steadily along, on a path they knew had a happy ending. They refused to end up as another statistic in spite of all the precautions available or all the best intentions in the universe. _

_ But his intentions were honorable. "Maybe later tonight?" William winked. Tanya smiled and kissed him deeply on the lips, hands trailing over his now slightly damp shirt, stopping at his belt as they began one of their almost daily make outs, giggling, laughing, falling to the edge of her bed and then reclining on it, close but not "intimate". Even though that urge was getting harder and harder to resist..._

_ As evidenced by the hardness she felt at her leg. "Will?" Her hand jumped off of his waist like it was singed._

_ "Shh. I was gonna show you later." He sounded mildly disconcerted._

_ Tanya blinked and her cheeks flamed. Naked William. Naked her. Was it so silly to wait until they were legally tied? She wasn't religious, she didn't have any strong moral grounds about waiting for marriage to consummate a physical relationship. But she had wanted that. Still, William would wait if she asked him to wait, or maybe they'd compromise. There were all sorts of things they could do... Showing might not be so bad. "Okay. Later."_

_ "No. No, it's bloody well killin' me, carryin' it around, it's got me on edge, I'm all nervous an' twitchy." William sat up and pushed back his sleek sandy hair, shaking his head._

_ Poor Will. Tanya bit her lip. She could imagine, she knew how she felt when she was "frustrated" and nothing on her made her walk funny. "Um. I- I could help. If you show me what to do." Her voice quavered._

_ "You're too good to me. You don't mind if we do the fancy shmancy evenin' out after this big moment? I'd planned to sweep you off your feet before springin' this on you, Green Eyes."_

_Tanya frowned, then smiled. Only Will could make her feel confused but pleased all at the same time. "No. It's fine. We can- we can do what you wanted to, first. But I'm still not clear on what you want me to do." She licked her lips nervously, not in seduction. Was he asking her to help him with her hands or her mouth, or more? Did she care? Yes. But she wanted to make him feel good, he always made her feel so wonderful, and he never asked for anything in return. _

_ "You just sit there. I do all the hard part." William took a deep breath and took her hands._

_ "We never said, but I thought we'd be waiting." Tanya said tensely. _

_ "I know. It may take time to make the big day happen, but I thought I'd at least make it official as I can in the meantime." He smiled and dropped to one knee. _

_ Tanya's mouth froze in mid question. _

_ "Tanya Summer Rosenberg-Harris. My Green Eyes. My Girl. My One. Would you be so kind as to pop this on your pretty hand-" William paused as he brought her slender hand to his lips, and fumbled in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a white velvet box, "an' tell the world what we've been sayin' for years? That you an' me are a pair?" He flipped open the box to reveal a large green stone ringed by tiny diamonds. _

_ "Wh-what?" Tanya was nearly speechless._

_ William elaborated, passionate words tumbling out. He'd do his old man proud, the poet's soul was still in him someplace, just much more quiet than his father's."Never been anyone else for me Tanya, I never even looked. I've always been in love with you."_

_ "Be my wife. Remember that 'someday' I mentioned a few years back? Someday I wanted to ask you? Today is someday. I'm askin'." His strong mouth trembled. He'd expected her to kiss him and cry yes loud enough to wake the dead. This muted question wasn't making him feel confident, yet he knew she would agree. There were things they just "knew" about one another._

_ "It- it's a ring." Tanya mentally smacked her forehead. The hardness against his leg? It'd been the ring box in his pocket, not anything else. The big moment he'd been referring to wasn't sex, not even an increase in petting, it was his proposal. _

_ "Yeah, well, a ring is traditional. An' I know, a diamond is the usual, but I saw this in the antique store and it's green like your eyes so I thought- I thought they'd match..." He took her hand more firmly. "So I got you an emerald, Green Eyes. 'Cause when I see the stone, I see your eyes, an' they're a damn sight more beautiful. Put it on for me, say I can always be your William." Tanya's mouth was open, a trembling hand to her cheek as he poured out his heart. She wasn't saying no. But she wasn't saying yes. He swallowed audibly. "If it's too soon..."_

_ "No! I mean, no, as in not too soon! So yes! Yes, I will marry you and be your wife and always love you, yes, you're my William, always have been, and yes, I love my ring!" Tanya gushed and barreled from the bed to the floor to embrace her kneeling suitor. "Will! Will, I _love_ it. I love you."_

_ He let out a sigh. _Stupid prat. Should've known better. Never doubt her.

_ Tanya kissed him hard, falling to the bare floor, rolling, laughing, a shining ring on her finger, her brown hair fanning over his face as he held her above his chest, looking at each other in rapture. _I can't believe I thought he... well that was just stupid. William and I go together. We know what we want. We've always been together in some way. I'm so glad it's this way now...

_"I can't believe you asked me. Now. I'm thrilled, I just can't believe it."_

_ "You mean, because we're so young? You're still in school and I'm only a few credits ahead."_

_ "There's that." But that wasn't all._

_ "Look, we can get a cheap flat off campus. I'll take more classes in the summer, and I'll finish early so I can be full time with the Alliance sooner. For now, we both work part time, plus our Alliance stipend. Maybe we won't have a lot, but we'll have each other."_

_ "And you don't care if we don't have anything but that." Tanya shook her head in awe. That was her parents' story, that was his parents' story. She'd never imagined it would be hers. Not with the freaky power she had. She thought she'd always end up alone, and then suddenly, she didn't know why she'd thought that, because nothing seemed more far- fetched just now. She'd always had William. "You were never scared of me." She whispered. That was really when it had all begun to click. When she was scared of herself- but he wasn't._

_ William stroked her hair. He could launch into a litany why he'd never be scared of her, why it'd never even crossed his mind to be, why, if anything, she should be scared of him, part vampire. But he didn't see the need for all that._ _"Nope. You're my Green Eyes, you're my beautiful girl. My sweet, my kind girl. I don't have a thing on you, not smart, not powerful. Just a simple man. Maybe a bit pale..." He chuckled as she kissed his forehead, then cheeks and lips at last._

_ "I didn't want anything more than to be your simple girl."_

_ "Then that's what we'll be. Simply you an' me._

* * *

><p><em> "Simple. White. A simple, white dress for a simple white wedding." Tanya said insistently to her sister and SJ, her two best girlfriends in the whole world.<em>

_ " 'Kay." Lexy was sketching busily, not wedding designs, but a triple barreled rotating cross bow trigger mechanism. "You're the bride."_

_ "But... ruffles!" SJ held up a magazine and pouted. "Pleeeeease?"_

_ "No." Tanya pointedly poked the picture of a slim, flowing sheath dress, white and sleeveless, wide straps of silk, a simple, square neckline._

_ "You two are the most boring people in any dimension. And I should know." SJ laughed and flipped to bridesmaids gowns. "Green, right?"_

_ "Emerald. Ivy." Tanya smiled to herself. _

_ "Ooh, that reminds me, I saw this totally drop-your-jaw gorgeous green teddy, all in lace. Matching thong and garter." SJ flipped through another magazine eagerly. "For the wedding night."_

_ "I already picked something out." Tanya flushed. She took the lingerie section from her friend and pointed to a long creamy peignoir on another page. SJ's eyebrows went up. "What?"_

_ "Um. Nothing. It's beautiful and it's totally you. I just thought..." SJ shrugged meaningfully. "You know."_

_ "Leaving the room." Lexy didn't even look up from her sketch pad. "Love. Later."_

_ "Bye, Lex." Tanya sighed and smiled. She turned back to SJ. "We're waiting. It's- it's what we want. I guess we're kind of precious to each other and we wanted everything to be perfect, no interruptions, no extra risks, extra problems. I don't care if it's silly. You don't think it's silly, do you?" _

_ SJ shook her head. "No. I don't."_

_ "But you think it's odd?"_

_ "I think you two've been dating since you're sixteen and I'm surprised. That you have the self-control."_

_ Tanya's eyes flashed guiltily. "I'm not sure I do."_

_ "Well, you don't have much longer to wait!" SJ pointed out with an amazed laugh._

_ "No, not like waiting for him. I- that's not the only reason I'm waiting." She looked at her hands. "Do you read about magical properties much?"_

_ "Are you kidding? I read about nothing but." SJ rolled her eyes. "I'm the strange 'one of a kind' kind. As in I make your freakiness look mild."_

_ "You're the World Walker. You're the only one, and there are lots of other witches, I know. But you can choose when you step into dimensions. I can't shut off that I'm a witch. That there's major power in me."_

_ "Okay..." SJ didn't get the comparison._

_ "Virgin blood. As in the- the blood you shed when you stop being a virgin. It has insane magical properties." Tanya blushed a deep rose, even though SJ was one of her best friend. _

_ "Yeah, if you want to use it like that." SJ looked faintly shocked and a little grossed out. Tanya talking about losing it was like hearing her grandfather praise thug rap. Unimaginable._

_ "I don't _want _to use it like that. But it's _in_ me, and I _am_ magic. What if I- I don't know, what if I unleash even more power than I already do?"_

_ "Wow. I don't know. Have you talked to your mom and Vance?"_

_ "Not yet. I will." Tanya was dreading it._

_ "So you need to make sure you guys don't need to take 'special precautions'?" SJ waggled her eyebrows. _

_ Tanya paused. "Yes. Definitely. But it's different with William. See, unlike all the girls who're just trying sex out with everyone, I can't do that. It's too big of a risk for one thing, and I don't love anyone but Will for another. And it has to be him." Her eyes were glowing with lovelight, not magic, when she spoke. "William is stronger than normal guys. He can handle the magic if it overwhelms me- but see, it won't. If there's one thing the magic has never, ever done- it's hurt Will. I don't know how, or why, but it's like the magic knows how to love and protect him, I don't even have to make the effort most of the time. I never worry about losing control with him. I can't even say that about myself. Magic still hurts me plenty, I'm still trying to master it." She said ruefully. _

_ SJ nodded. "I get it. I get that, honestly, it makes total sense when you think about it."_

_ "Then explain it to me." Tanya laughed wryly._

_ "You love William more than your own self. More than your own life." She marveled. _

_ Tanya nodded soberly, a faraway smile playing in her eyes but not her mouth. "I'll wait to be his bride. He deserves it to be special. As special as it can ever be."_

* * *

><p><em> "So, why the special session?" Joey shut his office door behind his eldest nephew and motioned him to take one of the comfy leather chairs by the desk.<em>

_ "I've got a question. I know what everyone says an' all, but I just wanna double check. 'Cause Dad says stuff, y'know? Makes it okay, 'cause I'm his boy an' he wants to comfort and protect and all, but I gotta know for certain before the wedding." William laid it out flatly. "I can't give her the vamp, can I? It's not gonna be somethin' I can give Tanya, right?"_

_ Joey shook his head vehemently. "No. No, you can't 'infect' her with vampiric heritage."_

_ William sagged in relief. "Good to hear it again, from the medical expert." He winked, then swallowed. "The little ones, though?"_

_ Joey looked him straight in the eye. "Your genes pass down. Whatever they are. Whatever you have in you, half of that's gonna pass to your children."_

_ "So they'll be half as pale and half as fast?" _Half the mojo I have...

_ "With double your slow heart rate and twice your tolerance for sunlight." Joey wanted to point out the good things as well. "They'll be able to lead a perfectly normal life, as normal as we've made life for you lot, anyway. Maybe even better."_

_ "That's enough. I just wanted to check. Before." William tugged on his collar once and rose._

_ "Sit down. Look, you're bein' smart, askin' me this. You can always ask any of us anything."_

_ "I know." William hugged his uncle briefly as they both sat down again. "It's been great havin' you to ask things, 'cause a regular doc wouldn't get it, and talkin' to Grandma Vance about... I can't even finish the sentence, man."_

_ Joey laughed. "I understand. I was just going to say, if it makes you feel more comfortable, we can review what kind of family planning method you two want to use."_

_ "Shouldn't Tanya be here?"_

_ "Yeah, but in case she wants to talk to Vance and you wanted to talk to me. Boy-boy, girl- girl, y'see?"_

_ "Got it. Good plan."_

_ "What kind of birth control do you currently use?"_

_ "None." William said, startled._

_ Joey rose meteorically. "What the bloody hell are you trying to do? Give us all heart attacks? You're the most solid young bloke I've ever heard of and you two are -"_

_ "Whoa! I mean- well, we aren't doin' anything that'd make birth possible, so we aren't usin' anything." William rose as well. His eyes suddenly seemed to flash amber under the flecked green. "Did you think I'd put my Tanya at risk?" _

_ Joey backed up hastily. William rarely showed any signs of temper. Unless it was about Tanya. Then..._

_ The young man's already tall frame seemed to grow another two inches, his shoulders expanded with hot blood rushing to his spine as it stiffened. Hands clenched and eyes went predatory. "You think I'd hurt my girl?" The voice was a snarl. _

_ "No. I didn't think at all." Joey admitted as he realized it himself._

_ "Bloody right you didn't!" William spat, but his eyes began to return to normal._

_ "I'm just a little surprised. You've been engaged for awhile and dating for longer." Joey soothed. "I think it's wonderful. I waited for your aunt for years. Almost three."_

_ "So you know." William's angry face cleared and a smile was suddenly in place, a muted version of his father's smug smirk. "She's worth the wait. Don't have to wait long, do I? I'm not 'curious' 'cause I know it'll happen an' I know it'll be good. I'm in no hurry, 'cause she's been mine for years, an' this is finally gonna be official. I'm gonna get her, an' we're gonna go off on a honeymoon an' take our time. Away from all of you lot." The two men exchanged an easy smile, the smile of two men who know exactly what it's like to wait for years because the girl is so incredible that the time spent is well worth it. "You see?"_

_ "Yes. I do." Joey patted him on the back._

**Wedding Day**

_"I do." _

_ "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_ William winked and smiled. Tanya beamed and leaned. _

_ The Memorial Garden erupted in a riot of cheers. From the shade of the gazebo, Spike swooped his wife in his arms as his son did the same with his new bride. Outside, in the dimming sunlight, Willow wept into her husband's shoulder as he sobbed noisily on her hair. Lexy and Alex crossed from their places as groomsman and bridesmaid to a double high five._

_ About a hundred white folding chairs became devoid of guests as the happy couple were mobbed by siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues. _

_ In the cheering throng, William murmured in Tanya's ear. "Off to a good start." _

_ Her husband had a gift for understatement. Her husband. Tanya beamed and clung to his arm. _

_ The day had been gorgeous. But this moment, the moment when she realized they were officially husband and wife, was simply perfect_.

**Wedding night.**

_ The wedding night was spent driving a few hours down the coast, the young couple taking turns driving, giggling and laughing, talking the whole way, planning their lives out, simply and sweetly to the alternating tunes of the Beatles and Boston._

_ "I was thinkin' we'd take a trip to London in the new year. Maybe ask Joey an' Dawn if we can go with them when they go to see his folks."_

_ "Oh, I'd love it. Joey's parents are so nice."_

_ "An' how 'bout Christmas, Green Eyes? In our own flat, I'm gonna make bacon an' eggs and bring you your stockin' in bed."_

_ "I'll make sugar cookies! We can have Alex and Lexy over to decorate them. And David and Emily, of course."_

_ "When d'you wanna make our own little ones, Beautiful?" William smiled._

_ Tanya blushed. "Maybe wait until school is done. I- want to be a good mother, have time for them."_

_ "Them, is it? How many?"_

_ "If they're like you? Six. If they're like me, one." She took his hand._

_ "I'll figure on three an' build bunk beds for four."_

_ "You should ask Daddy to help."_

_ "I will, Precious."_

_ They rode in contented silence for a bit. "D'you want to stop? There's a diner up here."_

_ "Oh, diner food. Yummy." Tanya bounced in her seat._

_ "Only another two hours. We'll get there right 'round sunrise."_

_ "Sunrise on the beach. How romantic."_

_ "It's all about the romance."_

* * *

><p><em> "Mr. and Mrs. William Summers." William said proudly to the manager of the Sea Breeze Resort in Cape Victoria, a small, quiet beach town on a New Jersey inlet.<em>

_ "Newlyweds. Congratulations." The balding man smiled broadly and handed them forms and keys to their bungalow._

_ "Thank you." Tanya blushed._

_ William filled out the forms and ran the credit card, and then left. "Let's see. Number sixteen. Sweet sixteen, first time I kissed you good an' proper."_

_ "First time for a lot of things. First time you told me you loved me." Tanya giggled._

_ "An' you said it back." The world was suddenly a thousand times more beautiful than ever before. "It's a lovely morning, isn't it?" William inhaled the salty sea air. "Fancy a walk?"_

_ "Right on the water's edge."_

_ "Let's go." _

_ Tanya kicked off her white sandals and held up her flowing muslin skirt. William unbuttoned his white shirt to the waist and rolled up the sleeves, shaking off his battered flip flops. "This is amazing!" Tanya shouted over the roar of the waves._

_ "Race you to the jetty!" William shouted back._

_ "You'll win!" _

_ "I'll take it easy on you." He loped along, smoothly gaited, not even breathing hard as he ran. He made it to the jetty and half way back before Tanya caught up to him. He laughed and swooped her up in his arms. "You happy, Green Eyes?"_

_ "Deliriously!"_

_ "We've got the whole week to ourselves! What should we do today? There's the beach, the pier has amusements, there's a golf course, we can pack a picnic!" William's green and gold flecked eyes were alight. "I'm going to give you the best week of your life. No. The best life. Full stop." He put her down and looked into her eyes. "I promise you."_

_ "I will give you the best life, too. I promise you." Tanya stood on her bare tiptoes, wiggling them in the sand, and kissed him sweetly on the lips._

_ William kissed her back, but didn't press. He kept his hands resting gently on her sides._

_ "We can go back to the room after we walk. Spend the day inside." Tanya suggested, flushing slightly._

_ "Right. You need your rest." He said firmly. _

_ "Will- I didn't mean to sleep." Tanya kneaded his arm softly. "Unless- you don't-"_

_ "I didn't want you to think I was gonna pounce on you after the ceremony. That I minded waitin'. I'd wait for you another twenty years. Another hundred. I wasn't-" he shrugged, a guilty smile on his face, "- waitin' just to get in bed."_

_ "I know that. But we are married, and we did wait. I'm not too tired."_

_ "Then I'd like to take you inside as soon as you're ready, Mrs. Summers."_

_ "Mrs. Summers. Tanya Summer Summers. William, does that sound-"_

_ "Jus' beautiful, my Angel." He said reassuringly. "Come on then. Let's find some sea shells. An' later we're gonna build a big sand castle." _

_ "Oh, if Lexy were here..."_

_ "She'd have a castle with gun turrets an' a workin' bridge." William laughed. _

_ "And if Alex were here, he'd be declaring war on all the other castles and making new territories." Tanya giggled, linking her arms with his more tightly._

_ "Thank God we're normal."_

_ "Sorta kinda." She elbowed him lightly._

_ "Given." He kissed her soft brown hair and stroked it lovingly. He couldn't wait to see her in nothing but that long flowing hair. Like the angel she was, perfect, and fair, with her glowing green eyes and her waist length locks._

* * *

><p><em> "I'll put all the seashells on a towel on the patio." Tanya yawned.<em>

_ "I'll get the bags. But not yet." William put all the shells on one of the wicker chairs, and held her hand to prevent her from going quietly about her business. The way they always moved together. Quietly, simply, comfortably together. "Allow me to welcome you to our home from home." William slid the card in the key slot, and then swung the door wide. With a smile, he swooped Tanya up, and tossed her knees over one arm, her back in the other. _

_ "This is like all the fairytales." Tanya whispered ecstatically._

_ "You're the fair maiden, an' I'm the knight."_

_ "Yes. And we can do the true love part. Where the knight saves her with a kiss."_

_ "Already done that. Right after the 'I pronounce you man an' wife' part of the ceremony." William deposited her gently on the floor. "I'll bring the bags. You do the shells."_

_ Soon the couple was settled into their temporary home. They unpacked, William doing the toting, Tanya doing the organizing. After a few minutes of teamwork, the place was unpacked and in order. Nothing left to do- but get on with it. Or worry._

_ "Are you hungry, Green Eyes? I can get us something."_

_ "I'm fine, thanks, Honey." Tanya smiled. "I was going to go take a shower."_

_ "Of course, Lover." William nodded. "Think I'll do that as well." He had to be at his best for her. He rarely needed to shave, something in the genes, he supposed, so at least he wasn't scruffy of unkempt for his new bride. But he needed to do a bit of scrubbing off. And he should make her rest. It was a straight twenty four hours they'd been up._

_ "Y-you can go first." Tanya nodded._

_ "Oh, no, ladies first." He insisted._

_ "No, you go ahead. I'll take longer."_

_ "Alright then. I'll be right back." William kissed her, cupping her cheek. "You rest for me?"_

_ "Yes." She whispered._

_ William headed into the shower with his little black toiletries kit. Body wash, scrubber, comb...condoms. Tanya was on the pill. She'd told him so when they'd discussed the logistics of their future. He had them anyway, just in case. In case she was worried. _

_ Hell, she'd be entitled to worry, he was a bit worried. No one knew exactly what worked for them, if he was extra strong in "all areas", if his swimmers might look at latex barriers and laughingly burst right through, or have some loophole around the pills. No one before him had ever been like this and they had no hard data other than what they found out as they went along. No matter how often they told him he was normal in all the basic human ways, there were no guarantees. It was another reason they'd been waiting. No matter what happened now, at least things would be right, husband, wife, mother, father, have a home for any children they happened to make, planned or unplanned. _

Never mind about that now. You've discussed what you want, you have your little back ups in case she does want them. Now you've gotta make yourself delicious for her. So she'll know you're makin' an effort, not gonna treat her roughly. _She already knew that he wouldn't. But she always had it in her mind that she was so magically strong, that people were afraid of her, or would hurt her, thinking she couldn't feel it. William knew she felt everything, twice as much. She was so sensitive. He was so strong._

_ Tanya lit the white gardenia scented candles she had packed, and set up her- no, she supposed it was now _their_, digital music player, finding the playlist they'd created for the wedding. She pulled the covers back on the bed and moved most of the extra pillows to the couch. _But Aunt Dawn said pillows are great for changing the depth and angle of -penetration. _Tanya blushed and moved them back to the floor by the side of the bed in case they needed them. _

It's going to be wonderful. It's William. Relax. Do you think Daddy would have let him get within a mile of you if he hadn't been good to you and good for you? And remember, the first time doesn't always live up to the fantasy. But that's okay. We have fifty, maybe even sixty or seventy years together since we're both so young. We'll make it perfect by then.

_ "Your turn, Lover." William came out of the shower, natural sandy blonde hair combed back and slicked down with water. His broad chest had flecks of water on it, and he was wrapped in a white towel from his waist to his knees. "Water runs a bit hot, just to tell you."_

_ "Thanks." Tanya grabbed one of her bags and paused in front of her new husband. "You- you look gorgeous." She rested her hand on his muscular arm lightly. _

_ "Not half so good as you." He praised. "Tanya-" He lost his words. What he wanted to say was that it would be okay, that they make such a big deal out of all these firsts, and it's only a big deal if you don't plan to be together forever. This was just gettin' the ball rollin' for them. It was the lifetime of going' to bed together, and wakin' up together that mattered. But when he looked into those startlingly bright jade eyes, he lost himself, and all he could do was take a shuddering breath and kiss her._

_ William was the best kisser in the world. Although she only had him to compare with. But the way he simply took her mouth as his personal gift, and gave his back in return- it melted her, it made her stomach clench and burn and want to head way beyond their usual second base make outs. And that was a good thing right now. "I'll be super quick." She whispered, pulling back, rosebud mouth now a full blown rose, lips like two crimson petals._

_ "Take your time. I have all my life for you." He rubbed her back once more, kissed her lightly, and let her go past him into the shower._

_ In the bathroom, Tanya brushed out her hair, then wound up into a coil on her head and pinned it in place. It took forever to dry unless she used magic or a really good hair dryer, neither of which she wanted to take advantage of. She got into the shower and used her new body wash- lily and lilac. William always said she smelled like roses. He was wrong, nothing she used was rose scented, but he had it stubbornly ingrained in his head. Smelled like roses, tasted like honeysuckle, felt light as a feather, skin like an angel's. She had a lot to live up to._

_ William drew the blinds and drapes tight shut, but the daylight still made the room gray, not black. He was thinking way too much, in spite of his continual reminders not to over think one simple day. It didn't help that his parents were legendary for their sexual prowess. That no amount of soundproofing ever really drowned out the roars of his dad. And it wasn't a secret. The whole bloody family knew. His father's sex talk was something off of the adult movie channel, except scarier, with the constant threatening warnings to make sure it was done with love and care and utmost respect for your partner, lest you get your pale ass kicked good an' proper if he ever heard otherwise. He'd had to sit through two now, one for himself when he was about thirteen, and then one for Alex's benefit, and maybe for his own as the "virgin groom" (Alex needed a thrashin' when he got back for thinkin' up that nickname) that had occurred a few weeks ago. The skills and tricks and tips and Alex's endless, graphic questions... William was just worried about being a good husband to his girl. Life should be simple. Sex should be private. Well, more private than his permanently joined at the hips mother and father seemed to make it._

_ "Are you ready for me?" Tanya called, a nervous laugh in her voice._

_ "Since the day you gave me my first kiss, Lover." William hopped into bed, gray silk boxers on, a condom discreetly on the night stand, in case. They'd both been tested since New York law required it along with the marriage license, and obviously, as virgins, weren't too worried anyway. But there were still those pesky worries in his head, he did have some vampire genetics. Didn't want to contaminate her. Not that he could... If she regarded it as contamination. And they had talked about children, so it wasn't that she minded, he'd been all through this in his head over and over already. "Oh bloody hell, I can't think straight." He muttered and shoved the packet in a drawer. It was there because he was a gentleman and a gentleman is always prepared to take care of his lady. The end. _Now stop thinking about anything but the beautiful bride you've just gotten.

_"Here I am." Tanya walked out slowly. She had chosen a long creamy negligee cut in a severe v-shape at the neck and back. She pulled her hair back at the sides and then let it all cascade down her back. SJ called it her "flower child" look. Her mother and father, and Aunt Buffy, said it reminded them of Tara. "William!" Tanya's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my God, I call your parents aunt and uncle and you call mine that!"_

_ "What?" William sat up, startled._

_ "You and I- we sound like we married our cousins! We call our parents-in-laws aunt and uncle!"_

_ "You- you just now thought of this?" William bit back a grin. Then looked worried. "Does it change anything?" _I love her. She can't want an annulment. Please God, I didn't mean to fall in love with someone who's so much in the family, but what else could I do when you dropped her in my lap? Don't you dare take her away. I don't get riled for much, but I would for that.

_ "I think we either have to drop the aunt and uncle titles or call them all mom and dad."_

_ "Okay. Okay." William nodded, swallowing. "I thought- I thought you meant... Oh, Lover, don't you ever scare me like that again." _

_ Tanya bit her lip when she saw the wretched look on his face, and she trotted to him, and flung herself up on the bed beside him, kneeling in his arms. "I'm sorry, Will. I'm so sorry." Tears filled her eyes. She'd always been quick to tears, wore her heart on her sleeve. That was why she needed William, stoic and taciturn at times, but her human shield._

_ "Shhh. Shh, Green Eyes, nothin' to be sorry for. I had a silly thought, that was all." He drew her tight against him, kissing her shoulder, rubbing her back._

_ "I'd never leave you. Even if the world said it was wrong. You can't pick who you love. I love you." Tanya whispered in his ear. _

_ "I love you. I always have. I always will."_

_ "Me, too. Until death do us part. I- I won't leave until then." She rubbed her cheek to his, loving the feel of his hard, high cheekbones against her softly curved smile._

_ "I'll be waitin' for you. Wherever we go." William pulled back slightly, and cupped her face in his strong, calloused hands. "I'm glad I've got you now. For our lifetime. To love you. Gonna care for you, an' look after you." He stroked her hair back, looking seriously into her eyes. He'd repeated these words for most of his life already. Starting when he was three or four he'd made his promises to "look after you". The promise his father always made to his mum, even though now, as an adult, William was aware his mum didn't need "looking after". But it was what you did when you were in love, the offer you gave. "Always loved you. An' now I have you." He sighed gratefully, tear ducts prickling with emotion._

_ He always had loved her. Honestly. And it had been returned. From the first time she went to the shelter of his arms when she was scared- of herself- and he had been able to comfort her. That was when she had realized there was someone meant for her. Not a parent or one of the loving adults in her family. No, a friend, someone like her, had been given to her. She would always love that boy, that man. Her William. "I've always loved you, Will. Now I _have_ you, too. You have me." _

_ The kisses accelerated, sweet and desperate. "Your heartbeat's flyin'." William murmured between their passionate embraces. His hand had found its way down inside the v at the back of her gown, and cupped one perfect, firm cheek. _

_ "It's happy." Tanya laughed breathlessly. Her own hands scrabbled down his back. "Will..."_

_ "Oh, yes, Lover. Go on then, take your William in hand, he's yours." He moaned against her throat, teeth and tongue trailing and scraping across her. His teeth caught one of the slim strings that held her silky nightwear up, and worried it gently down her shoulder. Like water rippling, her arm came up through the strap and the gown fell down on one side, exposing a beautifully rounded breast, with a a dark rosy nipple, almost the same shade as her lips._

_ She gasped when his thumb teased it. It had been touched by him before, usually through her bra, occasionally skin to skin. But now it was different. Before, that was the most they would do, now it was only the beginning. She whimpered softly and lied on her side, taking him with her. _

_ Their legs scissored together, raising the fabric of her nightdress and her eager but unsure hands reached up under his silky shorts. "William. William, you're prefect."_

_ "Glad you think so." William murmured. "Mind if I take these off, Angel?"_

_ "No. Not at all."_

_ "You can leave yours on, if it makes you more relaxed."_

_ "I'm relaxed with you, William. Why do you think I picked you? You always are there for me, look out for me. I feel safe, Sweetheart."_

_ "I know sometimes when you have powers- people don't think you that you-" he groped for an explanation, " they don't think you need the same love an' care. Like because you're strong you're never scared, or you never get hurt. I don't think like that." _

_ "I know." Tanya nodded seriously. "Will- don't think I forgot all those kids at school. They didn't just think I was strange- they thought you were some kind of super human. Always daring you to lift something or run somewhere. Hitting you because you didn't flinch and you didn't hit back."_

_ "Didn't much hurt." He shrugged with an easy smile. No one had ever bullied him. After a few times of proving what he could do, and that he was good natured about most things, he made some casual friends or at least acquaintances. But he didn't much care for their company, he preferred Tanya's. _

_ "Hurt or not- you know what it's like to feel like the world doesn't see you as normal. We aren't. But we're just right together. I trust you, William. I love you." _

_ William pressed his lips to hers, then to her eyelids and the center of her forehead. "She's smart and wise, my wife."_

_ "Wife." Tanya beamed at him suddenly, her mother's hyper, overexcited smile. "I'm a wife."_

_ "You're _my _wife." William reminded playfully. "God, that's a lovely word." He pulled her to his heart, where it beat slowly and steadily, but hard. "Hear him? He says 'Tan-ya. Tan-ya'." _

_ "Then mine says 'Will-iam, Will-iam." Tanya fluttered his fingers up over the swell of her left breast. "I know you can hear it, feel it. I'm sure that's what it's always said."_

_ "Probably so." He stroked his fingers down and over, watching her shoulder shift subtly. _She does want it off. She trusts me. _"Bloody beautiful you are." William took in the sight of her bare torso, and cupped and kneaded both sides of her bust with firm, steady hands._

_ "So are you." She rolled slightly, less on her hip, more on her back. As she moved, her fingers curled around the elastic band at his slender hips and tugged. "Oh God." She gasped as the tugging let his erection spring free._

_ William raised his eyebrows, holding his breath. "Wow." She murmured appreciatively. He let out the air he'd been holding, with a blushing smile. _

_ They resumed their silent, frantic kisses, Will shifting against her hand to remove his shorts all the way. With a high pitched moan, she raised her hips and William bunched her gown in his hand, then pulled, letting her ease her legs out of it before tossing it to the floor. "Venus." William whispered._

_ "Like Venus?" Tanya blushed, pleased._

_ "No. Venus has nothin' on you." William breathed reverently, sliding his hand over her thigh, along the curve of her hip, up to her breasts again._

_ "And Adonis is no match for you." She ran her hands along his pecs and biceps, then settled on the sandy patch of hair that started out sparse at his navel and made a thicket around his hardness. _

_ William groaned. She was so close to touching him where he was burning to be touched. And not lightly through his jeans, or even more firmly through his sweats. Flesh to flesh. And then when she was at ease with him, he'd slip inside. Not just flesh to flesh- one flesh. His groan rose to a guttural plea. "Tanya, Luv."_

_ "Can I?"_

_ "You never have to ask. Gave myself to you."_

_ "Show me how you like to be touched."_

_ "Explore a bit. I don't even really know." He confessed in a haze, eyes on hers._

_ "You'll help?"_

_ "If you need it."_

_ Tanya's eyes flickered down to him. She'd seen pictures, she'd even seen some movies- college and curiosity didn't mix well- but up close and personal- it was unfathomable. So big, and thick, and hard. Her fingers fit around him, but it was long, sticking out inches above her fist. And it pulsed, slowly, but again, hard and strong, like his heartbeat. "Does this say 'Tan-ya' , too?"_

_ "Who else?" He laughed raspily, His hips surged forward, pumping himself. Encouraged that he wanted her to move on him, Tanya rubbed her clasped hand up and down his length, pressing harder and harder as his moans increased. "You're doin' all the work. You come to me, Green Eyes."_

_ "Wh-what do you want to do?" Tanya let him flatten her to the comfy mattress, half on her, half not._

_ "Get acquainted with you. With how to please you an' touch you. Nothin' you don't like." He promised._

_ "Oh, William. I'm going to like it all. I've wanted this for so long, I don't even know how long."_

_ "Within the hour, you'll get what you wanted." His hand made languid circles down to her navel and then lower._

_ "An hour?"_

_ "Or less." He bent his head and engulfed one teat slowly, while his hand massaged her curls, finding them damp. "Wider?"_

_ Tanya moved one leg, drawing her knee up lazily. His eyes flickered up, grateful and amorous at once. His fingers traced over her lips, careful to tread lightly, always listening for her sounds. When they became needier, he let his fingers firmly connect._

_ "You're so wet, Luv. So hot. How'd you do that?'_

_ "I want you in me. My body's trying to help." She laughed breathlessly._

_ "I don't want to just plunge in. Gotta give you more than that. Taste you, feel you, make you feel how good it'll be." His father had been obstinate about that. You do what the woman wants and likes, you give her as much pleasure as possible, however she wants it._

_ "T-taste me?" She tensed._

_ "Taste you." He moved his fingers from her damp skin and licked softly at them. "Mmm. Oh sweet God, you do taste of honeysuckle." His eyes shut in rapture._

_ "But-" It was an awesome thing, according to the women in her life. It was a scary thing, if you asked her._

_ "Don't ask me not to. I won't let anything happen to my girl. Nothin' you won't like. It doesn't have to be today. But someday?"_

_ "You can do whatever you want."_

_ "It has to be what you want." He corrected, hand returning to between her thighs, mouth returning to her skin. _

_ "I want this. Everything. With you." She gasped when he stroked her hooded pink pearl for the first time._

_ "Slowly then." William agreed, biting her breast softly, senses flooded with tastes and scents that only someone with above normal perception would notice._

_ It was slow, but it was incredible, the couple would agree. Long, intense bouts of kisses where hands wandered. It was on one of these bouts that William slid his finger inside, accidentally. He'd been tracing the cleft of her parting, and followed it back, back, and in. _

_ It was during another session that their hands had wandered so absently that bodies had bent, gone with the seeking hands, and Tanya found her cheek on her husband's thigh. It was only natural to kiss and caress the erection before her, so she did. _

_ William pulled her forward in desperation after several minutes of her kissing and licking his shaft, never putting her mouth around him fully. As he tugged her forward, their intimate areas collided, sending earthquakes of pleasure through them. "Lay on me, open your legs." He rasped._

_ "I want you on top the first time." Tanya protested._

_ "I will be, then. Jus' want to feel your heat touchin' me again." With her legs open, and mouths locked, they shifted together, pleasuring each other._

_ Tanya cried out in impending climax as his hardness rubbed up and down her folds, and her clit found itself mashed and rubbed against the rough patch of curls above his cock, also rubbed to the smooth alabaster skin of his taut stomach. "Cummin'?" William asked softly, nearly afraid to speak in case he threw her off._

_ "Almost." She hissed, eyes tight shut. His hand skimmed down her back, then in between their bodies and pushed a finger inside her squeezing chasm. "Willll." She sat up and back, spasming on his finger._

_ William watched her, wide eyed. When she came, her skin glowed, her hair fanned back, and her eyes were shut in pure ecstasy. "Bloody hell." He gasped. That was the most beautiful and erotic thing in the world. That right there, save your filthy magazines full of faces twisted in fake happiness. Real love makes it look pure and unbelievably, indescribably lovely, and so damn hot he had to lock all his muscles to stop from creamin' right then an' there. "Here, Baby, here, come to your William." He urged softly, as she sat shaking on top of him. _

_ "It's different with someone." She breathed. _

_ "It should be. Better together." He prophesied._

_ "But you didn't cum yet, and I did, that's not fair."_

_ "I go once, you go many." He reminded her playfully. He withdrew his finger from inside her once the walls stopped dancing on it, and lapped her juices up. "That's amazin'."_

_ "Really?" She looked proud of herself, and then rolled off. "You taste good, too. Salty and manly and yummy."_

_ "You taste sweet an' sticky an' girly." He countered, playfully pouncing on her. He burned his eyes into hers as he made an arrow of kisses drawn from her mouth to her mound. He paused, one eyebrow arching in silent inquiry. She nodded slowly._

_ William felt sure he could get lost in her. He wanted to look at each glistening pink petal, and he wanted to lick and suck on every millimeter of that private passage that she was sharing with him. But he couldn't. Because he had to close his eyes and concentrate on the silken, sultry taste she left on his tongue, and listen to the noises of bliss she made. _

_ Tanya had never worried about William's vampiric heritage until that moment. She knew vampires didn't chew up people to eat them, they bit and sucked. But William was in a frenzy, and he was devouring every inch of her, between her legs. She was enjoying it, reversing her opinion that it was scary or that she was too shy for it. She was bucking and cumming repeatedly as his tongue learned its way inside, his lips learned how to roll and then suck on her engorged clitoris, and his finger- not one, but two, were working inside her in time with his mouth. _

_ William was brought down to earth with a thud. Her last noise had been a soft scream- and now there was a little sobbing sound. "Tanya?" He pushed himself up with a sudden chest press, and looked up at his wife. _

_ "So- so good." She wasn't crying, just choked from the torrent of pleasure. "Can- can we do something different now, though?"_

_ "Did I hurt you? I was carried away, wasn't I?" He asked, grinding his back teeth together, mad at himself._

_ "You carried me right away with you." She grinned, and reached down to wipe his wet mouth. He seized the edge of the rumpled sheet and finished the job. "I just want more. If you're ready for more?" She asked timidly._

_ "I'm ready." He grinned. "Me on top?"_

_ "So I feel all safe and snuggly." She pressed her lips to his, puzzled at the taste of herself on his mouth, and then not caring once she decided it wasn't bad._

_ "I'll keep you safe an' snug, that's right, Lover." If he had any control left, that was. He'd been wanting inside her for years. Not in the consciously depriving himself way, just in the hungering way. Now he was swelling to almost painful proportions and his tip was sheeting off wetness. At least she was wet an' had taken two fingers without a murmur. _

_ Tanya locked her ankle in back of his knee, hands on his face. "It feels good." She murmured, caressing his eyes with her own. "It feels so good. When you're in me."_

_ William heard the lower register in her voice, the undercurrent of power. She was calming them both. "Look right at me." He hissed, positioning himself over her. That was another thing he'd been saying for years. Through a thousand trainings and crises- getting her to walk across or through quagmires or firestorms in their lives- "Just look right at me."_

_ "I am. I love what I see." She whispered, and took his head in her hands. _

_ He slid inside slowly, shudders ripping through them both. He was big, she was small, but they were both so slick, so ready for this. He pulled back some and carefully pushed in again, hips locked, in control, always in control- until someone unleashed him. _

_ He was sticking inside her, unintentionally of course. His bulges were stretching her a little past her comfort zone. But it was a good stretch. And she loved looking at him, right at him. _My boy. He's working so hard for me, like he always does. His face is all angles and concentration, he's not letting himself free. Because he's his parents' son when he chooses to be- hard and fast and brutal. He doesn't think he can be gentle if he lets himself go. I know better. _"Yes! Yes, William, more, give me more of you. I love you, I want you. Be inside me, Honey. One with me." _

_ "One with you." He grunted, and thrashed his head once, hard, before it bowed and his back arched._

_ His hardness tore through the thin little membrane like a bullet through tissue paper, making them both shout, her in surprise, him in awe. "Mine now." He grimaced._

_ "Yours forever." She nodded. "Will, oh, God, William, make it feel good now?"_

_ "I will." His eyes cleared. "My Green Eyes okay?"_

_ "So okay. So full it almost hurts."_

_ "Hurts?"_

_ "Almost. Don't stop now, or it won't get better."_

_ "Never leave you hangin', Luv. Never." He was slow and steady inside her, savoring her divine combination of pressure and heat. "Tell me when I hit the good places."_

_ "I will. But they all feel like good places." She rolled her head back and lifted her ribcage._

_ "Yeah, that's it. Move with me, Lover. Move with me. You take me, too. My first an' only one."_

_ "One and only one." She agreed, and obeyed. She moved, hands holding tightly onto his shoulders and she learned to move under him, around him. And he was learning too, bending with her, catching her, always, always in perfect unison with her. Like the ballets he took her to in the city. Like the training they used to do every day after school. They'd been one for a long time, they were already choreographed to each other. Now it was sexual. Bodies had finally followed where hearts and minds had been leading them for their entire lives._

_ "You let go, too." He urged._

_ "I can't." Her magic was advanced, controlled now. But not perfect._

_ "You can." He whispered. "I know you won't hurt me, an' I won't hurt you. We were made for each other."_

_ "Wow. We really were, I guess." She smiled up at him, lost in his eyes. "Harder."_

_ "Hm?"_

_ "Harder. Take me harder." She begged, blushing._

_ "But you're tight. Don't wanna bruise the bits an' pieces."_

_ "Please, William, I need all of you."_

_ So he gave all of him. He dropped from hands to elbows, one hand went up to her cheek, to meld their mouths together, and the other went to cup the curve of her rear, lift it to his pounding hips and hold her still to receive him._

_ "Yes. Yes, yes, yes. yes!" Tanya chanted against his lips. He was going to unlock something, she could feel the turning inside her stomach, like the key had slid inside but the bolt hadn't retracted. _

_ "Hell with this." William suddenly gasped, and wrapped both arms around her back. "Safe. Got you." His husky, panting voice assured, and then , wrapping her so tight she could only writhe against him, he pumped hard and fast inside her, using only his hips. The rest was locked to her, head bowed and eyes shut, holding her tight, so she could never go away, so she could always be safe._

_ Tanya dug her hands into his waist. She liked this. She was cocooned, but she was still a butterfly, all wings and freedom. Finally free. William had always let her be herself, be free, let go. _Time to fly- he'll catch me on the other side, always has..._Her legs shook when they dug into his, and her hips lifted all the way off the bed when she came. _

_ It was a good orgasm, on the edge of pain, her unopened tunnel forced wider and filled deeper than it had ever been, and then contracting furiously. The air crackled when she screamed silently, a shaft of light pouring from her throat into his open mouth._

_ William came explosively, biting her lips and swallowing the scream that manifested as light. Her own ejaculation, her own pleasure filling him, as he filled her. "Tanya." He gasped out when he could talk._

_ "My William."_

_ "Well an' truly. What happened? I can feel you inside me. I feel- like there's somethin' all warm an' tingly inside me, like I swallowed sunshine." He shook his head, rubbing his throat._

_ "I know. I can feel you inside me, the same, only not sunshine, warm and wet." She whimpered, feeling the pool of hot semen trapped inside her by the thick cock wedged in her tunnel. "I- I don't know what happened. I came. That's good right?"_

_ "That's bloody marvelous." He laughed weakly. "I'm not complainin'. I like- I like this. Bein' one with you."_

_ "You are the other half of me." _

_ "My better half, init what they say?"_

_ "That's right. Except you're my better half."_

_ "No, Green Eyes. You're _my_ better half."_

_ "Impossible."_

_ "Isn't."_

_ "William?"_

_ "What, Lover?"_

_ "I love you."_

_ "I love you, too, Angel."_

_ "William?"_

_ "Yes, Luv?"_

_ "Can we do it again?"_

_ "As many times as you want. As many times as we can fit in inside of forever."_


	29. Chapter 29

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Behind the Scenes". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. "Behind the Scenes" and its sequel contain FICTION about the actors who played Spike and Buffy, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. (Deleted Scenes is mainly Spuffy/Characters.) I know the actors in my tale have wonderful families of their own, and that none of this ever happened. If that premise isn't to your liking, please go find one of the many wonderful fics that is solely about the characters. Sorry to get on my soapbox. (Hops off and runs back to laptop.)_

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Author's Note: Definite M-rated section inside. _

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, HowistheDramaQueen, and TeddyBear-514. Also, to the Anonymous Reviewers who are kind enough to review. I do like to take time to thank all my reviewers, but as anonymous notes, I have no way to reply. So I'd like to thank you here._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXIX

**Alex and Lexy's Story: Part I**

**Siblings**

_"Grandpa!" The fair skinned two year old and the redheaded three year old raced from the Pre-School Story Hour area in the library and barreled into a smiling gray haired man. The combined force at his knees knocked him back into a stack of books and he scolded them with a smile._

_ "I am so sorry." He apologized profusely- something he often seemed to do where Alex and Lexy were involved. His youngest grandchildren- so far- seemed to have more energy than the other three put together. "Alexander Giles, pick those up. Lexy, you put them back on the shelves." He turned to the librarian again. "I truly am sorry."_

_ "Oh, no, it's fine." She turned over a clipboard with a sign in/sign out sheet. "Could you please sign them out- um- Grandpa?"_

_ "Oh, Rupert Giles. Yes, and..." he scanned the list, "there's Alexa Rosenberg-Harris... and Alexander Summers. Thank you."_

_ "Uh- wait." The librarian of the Pine Ridge Community Library saw no family resemblance between the three people in question and no names matched. That could happen, a man could have had two daughters, both married, hence the different last names. But he also looked nothing like the tall, dark haired man with the eye patch who dropped off the children two hours ago for the Saturday morning story and craft. "Can I see some proof that I should release them to you?"_

_ "Oh. Uh- well-" He'd forgotten to tell Xander to make sure the library staff knew who was picking them up. This was by no means a new situation, the "family" that wasn't exactly "family" had been through this question of parentage and relationship status a million times, even before children made an appearance. "I'm going to have to call their parents to verify, I don't have any-"_

_ "Grandpa, can we go now?" Lexy tugged at his jeans' pocket._

_ "Go now." Alex repeated firmly._

_ "Just a minute, Luvvies, Grandpa can't take you until the nice lady sees you're supposed to go with me."_

_ "We're not going with you?" Lexy looked up at the librarian challengingly. _

_ "He just needs to prove that he-" _

_ "Raaahr!" Alex was less verbal, more action-focused. His two-footed kick toppled the plump woman onto her knees._

_ "Alexander Giles Summers! Oh, dear Lord, I am so, so sorry-"_

_ "My Grandpa! Our Grandpa!" Alexander stared coldly at the woman._

_ "You can leave now, Mr. Giles." _

_ Giles picked up a toddler in each arm, tight lipped and furious. Sort of. "You two need to learn to respect your elders. I have never seen such behavior!"_

_ "Are you mad, Grandpa?" Lexy asked, turning her hazel eyes, the exact shade as Xander's, to his._

_ "Oh. Bloody -heck. Not really." He admitted. "But Alex, this has to stop happening. You can't just hurt people. Talk first. No kicking."_

_ "Daddy kicks." Alexander raised one eyebrow in a perfect mimicry of Spike's. _

_ Giles shook his head. This boy was going to be trouble. And he was only two. Heaven help them all when he was able to read. If he was as smart as his parents, and as ruthless as his father, as stubborn as his mother- well, he was glad the child was on their side._

* * *

><p><em> "Mr. and Mrs. Summers, thank you for coming. Please sit."<em>

_ "Bloody hell. Boy couldn't make it past the first week of kindergarten, could he?" Spike muttered as he sat down and took Buffy's hand._

_ "Shut up, Honey." Buffy whispered affectionately. "What's wrong, Mrs. Warner? No- please don't dance around the issue. We know Alexander is a handful, and we'd like to help you and help him. Just tell us."_

_ "We'd like you to consider moving Alexander to first grade. He's already reading above grade level and his math skills are heading the same way. His fine motor skills and verbal skills show he's advanced physically. And... and frankly he might do better with a classroom full of older children."_

_ "Wait- my boy's gettin' moved up?" Spike looked like he'd just been given a thousand dollars. "That's wonderful! God, I thought you were gonna say he was beatin'-sorry." Buffy's glare hushed him._

_ "That's fine, if you think that's best. It'd be great. Oh, Spike, he could be in Lexy's class! Mrs. Warner, would he maybe be placed in Mr. Grotsch's class?"_

_ "Is that with his sister? We don't place siblings together as a rule."_

_ "No, SJ's in second." Buffy explained. "Lexy's just his best friend and our neighbor. They're very close. And she's kind of a good influence on him."_

_ "Well, I'll make the recommendation." Mrs. Warner sighed and smiled. That had been easier than she'd imagined. And it really would be for the best. Not just for her nerves, no, it was for the best interests of the child. Really. She'd tell Mr. Grotsch about the friendship between the two and he'd have no trouble._

A week later...

_"You touch my Lexy's juice box again an' I'll tear your soddin' head off, get me?"_

_ "Alexander! We don't need to speak like that!" Mr. Grotsch cast a despairing look at his youngest pupil._

_ "Sorry. Gotta protec' my sis. Dad says."_

_ "Lexy isn't your sister. You're not her brother." He explained gently. He never expected the juice box to smack him in the back of the head. He whirled around to see a pint sized redhead in torn overalls glaring at him with hands on her hips. _

_ "He is too my brother! So there!" And she stuck her tongue out at him._

_ Charles Grotsch made a mental note to strangle Pamela Warner as soon as school let out. Calming influence, indeed._

**School Days**

_"Touch her again an' you'll be wearin' your stones 'round your neck, you pair of wankers!" Alex shoved two seventh graders away from Lexy. They fled._

_ "Alex! You don't have to do that! I'm not Tanya, and I'm not SJ! I'm not a girly girl, 'oh boo hoo some mean boy pulled my hair and called me a name'. She slapped his arm, hard._

_ "But-"_

_ "And don't say it's because I'm the normal one. No powers." She hissed in a voice only his super sensitive ears could pick up._

_ "Lex- I'd never say that. Your brains out run Tanya's and SJ's any day." He said loyally._

_ "No, it's not true. I'm not smart like them."_

_ "Well... who the hell cares, right? What you can build- what you plan... you're like Bruce Wayne, Lexy."_

_ "Mm, okay. He's cool. I guess I forgive you. This time. But don't do it again! I'm not powerless, even if I don't have super powers. I'm a girl but I'm not girly!" The sixth grader stared down the crystal blue eyes that were the exact match of her Uncle Spike's._

_ "I'm glad you forgive me. But you're a bloody fool. I didn't do it 'cause you're a girl or whatnot. I'd 'a done it for Will or SJ or Tanya or anybody. But I did it like that- 'cause you're my best mate." _

_ Lexy sighed, then spat on her palm and stretched it out. "Alright. Best Mates?"_

_ "Awful Alexes, to the end." He spat and shook on it._

**Best Friends**

_"I call this meeting of the Awful Alexes to order." Alex passed a root beer to Lexy. _

_ "How can we be plotting our awfulness if we're babysitting for Aunt Dawnie and Uncle Joey?"_

_ "Shush, don't wake David an' Emily, I only got the little runts down!" Alex glared at the fifteen year old red head who was sprawled out on their aunt's living room floor. "An' we don't have to plot, we have to plan. There's a subtle difference." He said wisely, then shoved her shoulder. "Show me the drawings."_

_ "I didn't bring them. I'll bring them to the cafeteria tomorrow."_

_ "Nah, I need more time. Slip 'em to me at first period?"_

_ "Alright." Lexy held up a cheese curl. "Hand-eye time." Alex laughed and obligingly opened his mouth. Lexy aimed and he caught, and then they switched, "practicing" until the bag was empty._

_ "I think I'm gonna get my ear pierced on Saturday. You wanna come with?" Alex asked, swigging his final root beer remains._

_ "Buffy's never going to let you go to the mall alone. Not with all the crazies after SJ." _

_ "I won't be alone if you're with me, Flame Brain."_

_ "I don't think I count, Bleach Creatch."_

_ "Don't go on about my 'creature' status. I don't have any more mojo than Will or SJ."_

_ "It's more than I have." Lexy said complacently._

_ "Are you kiddin'? Not this again. Look, you daft bint, you're brilliant! Those designs that you draw, the stuff you build- Gramps has never seen weaponry like it. You've got your dad's skills with the wood."_

_ "Too bad I can barely carry what I design." She said bitterly._

_ "That's where I come in. You're brains. I'm muscle." Alex shared a look with his best mate, and then leaned over and flicked her ear. "C'mon, come with. We'll be fine, you an' I can handle ourselves. Get a piercin' with me? I'll buy you the stud."_

_ "Matching ones?"_

_ "We'll look poncey like that."_

_ "People will just think we're dating."_

_ "Hmm. Yeah, alright. Get that damned Theresa Lewis off my back."_

_ "She's so not your type. She has kitten posters in her locker."_

_ "An' you've got what? Puppies?"_

_ "Nope. Leonardo DaVinci prints of his Folios on War Machines." She replied with a satisfied smirk._

_ "God damn, Lex. You're gonna break hearts." He clasped his hands over his chest with a laugh._

_ "So are you. Especially with the bleach look. I know everyone gives you a hard time- but it is hot."_

_ "I'm not tryin' to look like my old man, y'know? Jus' like it."_

_ "I know that, idiot. I'm your best mate. I _get _you."_

_ "Thank God. I'd go mad with all these borin' people if it weren't for you."_

**Beyond Best Friends**

_"Xander's gonna go mental when he finds this out." Alex took his shivering prom date's wet wrap and laid it over the heater in the hotel room._

_ "N-no he won't. He doesn't worry about me like he does Tanya."_

_ "No. That's true. But you're his favorite, you know. You're just like him." Alex took off his own jacket and put it beside hers. "It's probably good we were the youngest. They've gotten more laid back. Well- a bit."_

_ "They wouldn't be _this_ laid back." Lexy laughed._

_ "We don't have to you know." Alex reminded her quickly. "We're both young- well, I'm even younger than you."_

_ "By ten months. But if you're getting cold feet-"_

_ "I'm not! I'm not." He repeated more gently. "But- it isn't gonna hurt me." He brushed her bare shoulder softly with the back of his knuckles._

_ "It won't hurt for long. Look, I love Will and Tanya, but I don't want to wait until my wedding night to find out what it feels like, okay?"_

_ "But it doesn't have to be on Junior Prom night at a cheap hotel when our folks think we're at the after party." _

_ "I thought you said it wasn't too weird for you?" _

_ "It isn't! I- you know I love you, Lex. I'd love the first time to be together. I'm soddin' out of my mind thrilled. I jus' don't want you to give it away to some bloke who's just a friend when you could wait for the big love."_

_ "You _are _the big love. Not like- well you know what I mean. You know this family. So tight it's scary. I don't trust anybody enough to do this- except for you."_

_ "Then let's do this." Alex's face broke into a wide grin and he pounced on the bed. "I am gonna make this so good for you, Lex..."_

_ "Not as good as I'm going to make it for you!" She tore open a small suitcase and popped out a mixed CD and her small cd player. "Got our heavy metal. Got snacks-," she held up chips and soda, "and... ta-da. You did say red, right?"_

_ "Oh, yeah. Red for my Red Hot." Alex looked at the red cami with a flame design across the breasts. "Where's the bottom?"_

_ "Didn't pack it. Just get it in the way." She laughed._

_ "Oooh, I knew there was a reason I wanted it to be with you." He crowed, and grabbed her, knocking her to the bed, kissing her ferociously, joyfully. "Now. Who gave you your 'talk'?" He quirked one pierced brow._

_ "Aunt Dawn. My mom and dad freak. And so does your mom. Spike would totally give me the best advice ever, but he can't. He feels all fatherly."_

_ "He's different with guys though. He gave Will and me a four hour lecture with everything but diagrams. I had to keep myself from freaking. I think he gets carried away and forgets that Mum is, well, our mum! She's just his hot, sexy, wife when he's on the job. Which is almost always." _

_ "I know. Your parents are cursed with the sex drive of rabid bunnies."_

_ Alex nodded, and realized he was still halfway on top of Lexy in her short, flared red gown. "Here." He suddenly felt awkward. "I don't want to spoil your frock."_

_ "Oh." She blushed slightly, and nodded. For all their closeness and their brash talk about making tonight the night they mutually "got it over with", they were both determined to be deeply loving and respectful. She could let Alex be the one. It wouldn't hurt if he could help it. He wouldn't make her feel self-conscious. He'd never use her and toss her away. "Unzip me?"_

_ "Sure." He swallowed hard and watched her turn. If she knew his hands were shaking, he'd die. So not a sign of the big bad that he was. Alexander Summers, the bad boy on campus. The flirt. The goth rocker, with his bleached hair and his triple studded ears, his all black ensemble, his bass, and his pierced eyebrow. The boy with the knife in his boot, but you could never catch him with it. The boy who never dated, but was out almost every night, wandering around with his sorta strange "family". If anyone knew half of that was spent sittin' with Lexy, watchin' Dawn an' Joey's little ones... It didn't fit the image at all. Here he was, about to give himself to his best mate, almost sister, because he didn't want to be cheap and easy. He was like his old man in more than just looks and attitude. He believed in love. And he loved Lexy so much, in so many ways. So what if it wasn't romantic love? He didn't want to be the only virgin in the senior class, never mind what his family said about how it was okay to wait, about how it could take years and years to find the right one. As far as he was concerned, Lex was right enough._

_ "There." Alex kissed her now bare back tenderly. "All unzipped."_

_ "I'm going to go change." Lexy held her dress in front of herself and headed to the bathroom, snagging her cami on the way. "Could you put the music on? And maybe- maybe put out the lights? A little?"_

_ "Sure. Sure, Lex." He was kind of relieved. They'd seen each other naked, but not in the last six years, probably. Not since breasts and hair and other sorts of awkward body stuff happened. He plugged in the CD player, turned it on, popped a mint, and turned off all the lights but one. Lexy couldn't see in the dark like he could. He didn't need her to trip. _

_ Alex stripped out of his clothes hurriedly, and got under the covers. "Shit. Lex! Gimme another minute." He got back out of bed and ran to his pants, his wallet more specifically, and retrieved three foil wrapped packets. "Shoulda practiced with the soddin' things..." He was going to put one on, but then stopped. Would she be using her mouth? He certainly was planning to. He had inherited all of his father's talents, everyone said so. From what he heard his mom and Willow saying when they thought no one was around, his father had a tongue straight from the gods of oral sex. He wouldn't deny Lexy _that.

Except Dad's had a million tries- and this is my first go. Shit. An' I so shouldn't be thinkin' about anyone but her right now...

_ "I'm ready, can I come out?" Lexy kept her voice cheerful with an effort. _What if I mess up? He won't mind. He won't laugh. Still- what if I mess up?

_"Come here, Red Hot." Alex called, in the same light tone._

_ Lexy came out, pirouetted once, and fell onto the bed beside him._

_ "You are one hot little thing." Alex praised with a long, wolf whistle. "Sweet fuckin' mercy." He ran a hand lightly over her body, barely touching her. He'd never touched her in a sexual way before tonight, and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to. Should he give in, go all out, like his cock was telling him to? Or keep it sweet and friendly, like his mind advised?_

_ "You are one sweet treat yourself." Lexy hugged him through the covers and almost gasped when she felt the hardness suddenly squashed between them. "Holy- Alex, is that all you?" _

_ "Uh- yeah?"_

_ "Ow." She looked into his eyes and they laughed suddenly. "No, I mean it! Ow!"_

_ "Well, I can't help the size of it! I won't let it- I won't let it hurt if I can make it _not _hurt." He stroked her hair tenderly, the way he watched Will do with Tanya._

_ "It doesn't hurt for long. Not if the guy is good."_

_ "I'll make it so good." He swore._

_ "I know. That's why I picked you." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Just this one time though, right?"_

_ "Right. Because I think we're technically actually related now. I think I'm your brother-in-law. I'm your brother-in-law's brother."_

_ "That makes us in-laws, but you can still be with your in-law. I looked it up. I mean- I didn't want to go jump into bed if were committing some mortal sin."_

_ "No, I've got enough strikes against me with burning down Grandpa's shed, stealin' the Jeep, an' bein' part demon."_

_ "Residual demon. Not part. And why does the car theft out rank the demon part?"_

_ " 'Cause I got no say in the demon part, but you an' me decided to steal the car an' play with the detonation books."_

_ "True." Lexy smiled, more relaxed now. "Even if it is kinda weird- I'm glad this is you. For this one time."_

_ "For this once, yeah, me too." Alex kissed her lips softly. "An'- tell you what. If we both hit thirty, an' we don't find someone else, we'll hitch up, okay?"_

_ "Sounds good. But isn't it usually thirty-five in the movies when they do this?"_

_ "You seen our future careers? Bloody hell, you're lucky we don't make it twenty!"_

_ They laughed heartily. "Okay. Deal, then." Lexy spat in her palm and stuck it out._

_ "Deal." Alex did the same and they shook. During the hand shake, he rolled on top of her and beamed down on her. "You skipped trainin' again, didn't you?" He mocked._

_ "I build with superior fire power. I don't need to train as hard- yet. I'll start this summer. But guys don't like girls with muscles."_

_ "I do. A guy would have to be blind or gay not to think you were the hottest thing in a skirt, Lex, even if you had muscles that were better than his."_

_ "You have a smooth tongue, Alexander G."_

_ "I was gonna prove it. May I?" He decided to play to his strengths- B.S. and cockiness- in the face of his nerves. And by God, it was working. He felt more confident already. Besides, what was the unofficial family motto? One of them, besides "call when you get there", "blood doesn't matter, it's the bond that makes you family", and "don't leave stakes around where your father could fall and get dusty"? "Take care of each other at all costs." He had to make Lex's first time perfect._

_ "Okay." Lexy's breath caught. Was he offering to lick her? He was. Oh God. What if she didn't taste right? What if he caught a hair in his mouth and choked? What if he liked redheads on top, but not down below? Should she have done a total wax, not just a partial shave?_

_ "Well- not right this second. Gotta snuggle a bit. Talk. It shouldn't feel forced or rushed. We have all night. I told Mum I'd look after you an' bring you home by daylight."_

_ "You always look after me." She whispered, hugging him fiercely. "You know that bugs me, right?" She hissed playfully in his ear._

_ "Told you a million times, Red Hot, it isn't 'cause you're a girl, or you're 'normal'. It's a best mate thing. You take after Xan. Stubborn to a fault."_

_ "That's you, too, you idiot." She kissed him soundly on the cheek, and he kissed her back. They stayed that way, lips slowly, slowly moving to meet._

She's sweet and fruity, like the sherbet punch at the dance._ Alex smiled into her mouth and dipped his tongue in._

Whoa, he's a good kisser. Way better than Justin Jones or Mike Sherman. Losers. So glad I'm giving this to him, not one of those jerks. _"I need to breathe." She panted, laughing. "Not super, remember?"_

_ "Super enough." He let his hands wander, gently, softly, touching her breasts through the red, almost sheer top. "Oh, Lex. You're so soft, Pet. You never told me you were all soft here." He stroked her wonderingly. _

_ "You never asked." She pointed out. _

_ "Can I go under?"_

_ "Duh... you're going to put your- thing- in my thing. You can touch whatever. Just not too hard, okay?"_

_ "Okay." That was a big worry of his actually. Will was super strong, but Will never got hyped up around Tanya. She was like his tranquilizer, made him even more soft and relaxed. The only time he ever saw his brother "unleash the beast" was on patrol or if someone threatened his family. Alex was in a constant state of "unleashed." Tanya could mojo up any number of spells to slow things or ease things. He and Lexy were on their own. "I'll be so gentle, I promise. Jus' give me a warnin' if I go too hard. No, Lex, promise me. You have to not pull the 'I'm not weak' card tonight, or I can't do this. I'd kill myself if I hurt you."_

_ "I promise not to let you get hurt, or me." Lexy smiled up at him adoringly. "I love you, you know that?"_

_ "I love you, too." He kissed her again, tongues re-mingling,_ _and pushed her top up, finding bare skin. "What size?"_

_ "That's rude."_

_ "Please?"_

_ "Thirty four C, and if you ever tell _anyone_-"_

_ "I never would! I'm jus' curious, I don't know the sizes of these things, except, small, medium, large, and porno."_

_ "You shouldn't watch that crap."_

_ "I don't! God, I'm not a pervert. I respect the girls in my life too much for that, okay? I mean- I did have a few looksies, but just to look, you know? I don't like it. Looks fake. No expression. No 'in love' looks on their faces. When you're surrounded by people wearin' the 'You complete me' look every damn minute of the day-"_

_ "It sticks in your head, huh?" Lexy laughed. "Except no substitutes."_

_ "Lex-" He gave her a serious look. "This-"_

_ "Isn't a substitute. I do love you. It won't be fake, I promise."_

_ "Good. I don't think you're going to need to fake it. 'Sides I can tell when you fib, your eyes get extra wide and you curl your pinkies up real tight."_

_ "Shut up! At least I don't get all shifty looking like you."_

_ "Yeah, but see, I adopt a look of permanent badass, and no one but the family can tell. An' they don't get lied to anyway."_

_ "You're lying about this."_

_ "No- I'm not. I've got it planned out. Give a listen." Alex cleared his throat, propped on his elbows looking down at her. "Mum, after the dance a lot of the kids started gettin' crazy-"_

_ "True so far."_

_ "We didn't like the way it was goin'-"_

_ "No, 'cause we wanted to be alone, I see."_

_ "I took Lex up to the Pine Ridge Motor Lodge 'cause it was near the after party venue. We got a room and went to bed. I would have called but we didn't want to be the only kids in the whole junior class who went runnin' home to Mummy when things got heavy."_

_ "You are the master of bull." Lexy squeezed him hard again. "You're not just muscle."_

_ "You always knew that." He teased, and slid his hands down her sides. "C'mon, Flames, hug me back. I wanna be loved, too, you know."_

_ "I'll hug you 'til you pop." She wound her arms around him, pressing her soft full chest into his hard, lean one._

_ "Never gonna happen." He gave a loud, fake gasp so she would think she was doing some damage. She knew it wasn't so though, and bit him smartly on the ear. "Oh." He made a genuine gasp._

_ "Oh?"_

_ "Do it again." He hissed._

_ "The ear?'_

_ "Pull the ring. The one at the bottom, God, Lexy..." Her soft lips tugged the silver hoop in his lobe and he shivered. "Whoa. That's a surprise."_

_ "I wonder if it works on this one." She whispered in a semi-seductive voice, and repeated the gesture on the opposite side. _

_ "Ohhh." The moan was low and breathy- and hardening. "Stop a minute. Lemme find one for you." He gave her a quick wink and dipped his head, kissing and nibbling her neck. _

_ "No hickeys- not there anyway." Lexy warned. _

_ "How's about this spot?" He lightly caressed one breast with his mouth, and experimentally flicked a nipple. Her gasp was short and loud, extremely encouraging. _

_ "Alex." She whispered, and her eyes closed, relaxing, trusting. _Feel him loving you. He won't ever let you down, and he'll learn with you. It's so nice to be in the same spot, experience wise. No one feels superior.

_Alex catalogued the spots she liked, base of her throat, nipples, under her breasts, just above her belly button- and- he looked down. _How'd I get so close to third base? Oh, well, while I'm here. _"Can I kiss you here?" He whispered softly._

_ "Yes. Yes, if you want to."_

_ "I want that very much, Lexy." He pressed his lips gently on her mound, in her coarse ruddy curls, and then across her thighs. He hesitantly stroked two fingers up and down her lips. He was slightly disappointed. He'd thought she'd be wetter. _ Maybe you're not doing a good job, you pillock. You talk too much, keep getting off topic.

_ "Make a circle." She instructed. Her aunt told her to never be afraid to tell the partner what you like. They don't read minds- well- in most cases._

_ "Where?"_

_ "Here." She took his hand and rubbed it very lightly around the join of her lips at the top of her mound. _

_ "Okay. I got it." He stirred softly, then harder, watching her and feeling her squirm. "Is that good wriggling?"_

_ "Uh-huh." She whispered. _

_ "Good." He sounded genuinely relieved. Now, to test your skills. Be gentle, go slow, be thorough, he reminded himself silently. _

_ Alex's tongue hit her like a ton of bricks. He wasn't being forceful, just the sheer jolt of pleasure took her by surprise. _

_ "Sorry!" He cried, head yanked up by an invisible hand of fear when her hips jumped up to meet his chin._

_ "More." She giggled. "Not a bad thing." _

_ "Oh. Oh!" He pinched her thigh softly. "Try not to scare a bloke, alright? I'm new at this."_

_ "But you're very good at it." She praised._

_ "Well... I'm good at everything I do, right?" He winked with a bragging leer._

_ "Get back down there and prove it." She challenged, and he obeyed. _

She is sweet. Not like fruit, like- like salt sweet. I like it. Quite like it. And the more I give, the more I seem to get, can't be bad..._ Alex lapped with abandon on the outer lips and first set of pink folds, occasionally grazing her hooded clit until he got bold enough to slip his little finger inside her, still licking away._

_ She tensed. Okay. Okay, that wasn't bad. It wasn't really like anything. It certainly wasn't painful. And what he was doing with his tongue was enough to mask it if it was, she realized._

_ Alex tried a different finger, his forefinger this time, still lapping at her, still looking up at her for her reaction. It was a good one. "Not hurtin' you?"_

_ "No." She was breathless, but not pained sounding. _

_ He slid his finger gently back and forth, aiming up. The upper wall has more nerve endings or something. Keeping yourself up and aimin' high was all important, says the sex gospel according to Spike, aka as Dad. "Lex, talk to me, Luv, I don't know if I'm doin' it right unless you let me know." He reminded her._

_ "Mm. Mmmm. Hmmm!" _

_ He felt a little tremor under his lips and he looked up pleased. "Hey- hey was that...?"_

_ "Yeah. I think so." Lexy blushed._

_ "You taste salty sweet. Ice cream with pretzels sweet." He slid back up, her kissing as he went._

_ "I'm good?"_

_ "You're bloody marvelous."_

_ "Let's see what you taste like then." Lexy gathered her courage and tugged down the sheet, exposing him completely._

_ Alex froze, and fought down a blush. Be the badass. "You like it, Baby? It's all yours for the night." _

_ "I like it." She nodded, knowing full well what he was doing. "Wow. You- that's big isn't it? Isn't that big for a guy?"_

_ "I dunno. I don't compare if I can help it." He laughed._

_ "Well, it looks wonderful to me." She kissed and nibbled her way down his slim torso to his equally slim hips, digging her hands into his sides to still her nerves. His own hands came to rest on hers, and she felt the slight pulsing of his own shaking hands. "It's going to be good. If not- you'll teach me?"_

_ "Deal." He rasped._

_ Lexy's first attentions were timid. Quick, darting kisses that almost touched him, but didn't. Then her hand met his length, and she curled it around , stroking up and down once. Alex's moan and eagerly thrust hips renewed her fleeting confidence, and she pumped him gently, this time bringing her mouth to his tip and pressing a close mouthed kiss on it._

_ "Oh, so good. So, bloody, fuckin' good." Alex grunted softly._

_ "I haven't done anything yet!" She protested._

_ "Well... neither have I. An' anyway-_ he _doesn't know that." He gestured to his erection. _

_ " _He_? Does he have a name?"_

_ "Not really. You can name him if you want."_

_ "Hm. Hello, Steely."_

_ "Steely?"_

_ "He's hard like steel. But the skin is so soft. You're like suede. The really good kind." _

_ "Wanna see how Steely tastes?" He prompted shamelessly, going mad at her light touches._

_ "In a second." She pumped more, getting braver, until she boldly swiped her tongue over his length and then sucked the tip._

_ Alex thought he was going to cum at once, and only a severe effort stopped him. Ladies first, his father had told him with that 'I'll kill you for real' glare. Apparently, the Summers men had a rigid code of conduct to live up to. Never force, always ask, no means no, ladies first, and ladies first as many times as you can. "Lexy, you gotta get up here." He commanded._

_ "Am I that bad?" She asked in a wounded voice, still licking._

_ "Oh, no! No, Baby, you're that good! God, I was gonna shoot in your pretty mouth, an' you'd kill me._ I'd _kill me first, though. I promised you'd get the best, an' I haven't even started."_

_ "So, let's start." Lexy lay back, feeling fairly comfortable now. _

_ "Let me get out our little insurance policy..." Alex slipped the package from the bedside table to his hand, ripped it open, fumbled for a moment, and pulled it on. _

_ "If I get pregnant-"_

_ "We get married."_

_ "I could get rid of it." Lexy whispered. She didn't want to. She just- had to say it. She didn't want to be trapped with anyone, even if it was Alex. It wasn't fair to him. Even if she didn't think it'd be so terrible._

_ "After- after what happened to Vance? An' your folks? No, Lexy- please. Please don't do that. I know I'm not the greatest catch, but I'd never let you an' a baby down."_

_ "You really wouldn't mind?"_

_ "Hell, no! I- well, I think these things are reliable. I got the extra strength with spermicide ones. But in case. Jus' to cover our asses, you know? What do they always teach us durin' trainin' an' patrol?" _

_ "Have a contingency." She laughed softly. "Okay then. If this goes wrong, we tie the knot. And if everything else goes wrong on a long term basis- we tie the knot at thirty."_

_ "Well- I guess we're ready then." Alex moved slowly, carefully on top of her, kissing her hungrily, feeling a warm glow inside when she kissed him back the same way. He slid his fingers down and parted her lips, slipping one inside, rocking his hand gently back and forth. There was some special spot on the top- but he didn't feel anything, and she didn't make any new noises. Maybe the virgin part was in the way. Girls had it rough. It didn't hurt for a guy. Poor Lexy. "You alright?"_

_ "Uh-huh. I'm good. You can- you can go ahead." She smiled up at him reassuringly. So he listened to her, because he was a good listener- if he cared about you, which, in this case, he cared about her so much. And she completely wimped out on him. "Ouch! Ow!"_

_ "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Alex slowly, carefully removed his tip from where it had pressed against her opening. He didn't think he'd gotten inside yet, but she'd know better than him. "Lexy?"_

_ "I'm chickening out." She bit her lip. _

_ "Oh. Oh, Firecracker, that's okay with me!" Alex hugged her protectively. "I don't want you to be brave for me."_

_ "But- it's not 'cause I'm a wimp! I'm not- it's not because of anything. Just- I'm little, you're big."_

_ "You are a bloody foolish girl, Alexa, if you think I'd ever blame you for needing to stop, or that I'd even dare think it was somethin' to do with power or strength. You gotta trust me. I- don't -I don't care if you act like you're a little bit- vulnerable?- for once in your life."_

_ "But we're the Alexes. We're the bad ones. We're the tough ones." She murmured, looking into those bright blue eyes and finding nothing but Alex and his love inside. No judgement. No laughing, even._

_ "I'm nervous, too." He admitted, forehead to hers. "Promise not to snitch, if you don't?"_

_ "Oh. Okay. Okay." She nodded, sighing heavily. "Really? Nervous?"_

_ "It's your first time. I've gotta make it good. I promised." He shrugged, eyes shying from hers._

_ "It's _our_ first time. It will be good. It's us. Are we ever anything but good- in our own bad way?"_

_ "You raise a valid point." He chuckled. "Can we try again? An' you - you tell me when to stop, but you don't have to act like you're the invincible girl with me. Stupid."_

_ "Fine. And you don't have to be Mr. Smooth Sex God. Punk throwback."_

_ "I still love you- even when you call me names." He grinned. _

_ "Ditto." Lexy brought her hand down, and didn't care if it wasn't too sure or sturdy. She grasped his fingers, and led him back to her center, and pressed her legs around his and up. "Slow?"_

_ "Molasses." He nodded, and pushed. She froze. "Lex! Lexy, Baby, you should breathe! You're all rigid."_

_ "Right, breathe." She stopped tensing enough for him to make a tiny bit of headway, and then froze up again._

_ Alex stopped where he was, ignoring his own urge to thrust up and in. He held her tight under him. "My Lexy. My Lex, my Lex." He repeated like a mantra. "Gonna wait all night if you need me too. Gonna take care of you. An' you take care of me? Yeah? Like best mates do?"_

_ "Always." She bit her lip and moved forward hard._

_ Alex bit his own tongue in surprise. He wasn't all the way in, but he was pretty well inside her now! "Holy shit, Lexy, I was takin' my time."_

_ "It's better to get it over with. Just push some more." She hissed._

_ "I don't want to! Look at you, you're all tense and you look miserable, like you hate me, an' I don't wanna be hated!"_

_ "I don't hate you, I love you. And I want you to do this, come on, Alex. Come on, I'm not scared. I'm just- not stretched out yet." She whispered._

_ "D'you wanna be on top? Wouldn't it be easier for you?"_

_ "No, I want you to hold me. In case I get all girly." She shook her head firmly._

_ "I'm being a good listener, okay? I'm doin' what you tell me to, 'cause I'm figurin' you know best, Luv." He kissed her hard, and in with a slow, steady pressure, hugging her to him, and waiting for some sign that it was either okay or not, but something._

_ "Oh!" Sharp, painful surprise, and then relaxation. "Oh. Oh, God." She laughed. _

_ "Oh, hell. You've gone crackers, haven't you?" Alex asked in horror. _

_ "No, it's just- uncomfy. But the painful part is almost done now." She smiled up at him. "How do you feel?"_

_ "Is it selfish to say I'm in paradise?" He asked._

_ "Nope. It's very good and makes me feel like I'm on my way to getting the hang of this sex thing." She giggled._

_ "You're just so- tight. Tighter than a fist, you know, and so much softer. Warmer, wetter. I love it. I love it, you're perfect." He praised her relentlessly. Another fatherly tip. "Tell her whatever you want to say, but don't lie, and never compare."_

_ "You're big. Really big."_

_ "You think? Maybe it's jus' 'cause I'm the first one?" He moved gently inside, starting to develop a rhythm. She gripped him hard on every motion, stealing his breath, erasing his control. _

_ There was some pain, but it was turning into a good pain. Like when you stretch too hard. And there was an answering pleasure, deep, deep under her pubic bone, some never reached spot that Alex was finding. "Oh. Oh, it's getting good."_

_ "It is?" He sounded thrilled._

_ "Yeah." She sounded dreamy. "Go harder."_

_ "Okay..." He was dubious, but obedient. Moving inside her almost sent him over the edge, the increased motion sending tingles of pressure all over him. And he wasn't even aware that he'd been working in deeper and deeper until he felt the wetness on his stomach._

_ "Sorry." She whispered, cheeks suddenly flaming._

_ "For what? For having some proof I'm your first?" Alex kissed her gently and nuzzled their noses together. _

_ "Eskimo kiss." She repeated their childhood phrase, rubbing his nose in turn. "I wish there wasn't a messy part to this virgin gig."_

_ "Well, I'm part vamp. Blood doesn't bother me. Doesn't make me hungry either, so we're all good." He patted her breast with a teasing gleam in his eye._

_ The rocking and sliding resumed until Alex couldn't speak, because he needed all of the muscles in his jaw to keep his cock from erupting. At least that's how it seemed to work out, he thought as he clenched his teeth._

_ "Al?"_

_ "Lex?" He grunted._

_ "You can stop being gentle now. I want to feel what it's like when you let go." She encouraged._

_ "S'posed to make love." He grunted again._

_ "We did. And we can again, unless you only brought one condom. Can we try fucking now?"_

_ "Holy shit, I love you Alexa." He laughed in relief and gave in._

Ohh God, I'm gonna get ripped in half...I don't really care. What in the world is that? Oh, that's good. That has to be... has to be- _"Hard and fast, right there, right there, right there, Alex!" Lexy dug her nails into his back and marked him in her frenzy of almost climaxing._

_ "Right here?" He prayed he was getting this right, because he had to let go. He was going to ruin their first time and cum first if she didn't-_

_ "Yes! YES, Jesus Christ, that's what they're talking about, yes!" Lexy came with a long, hoarse chain of exuberance._

_ Alex just collapsed on her, pumping in, almost shaking as he let himself flow. "Unnngh. Ungh. Lex. Lexy." He groaned._

_ For a minute, they lay locked together. "Sorry, Red Hot, I gotta-" Alex pulled out with a wet squelch and disposed of the condom. Lexy was blushing furiously, like he'd be squicked. It wasn't her choice whether or not she bled. "C'mon. Shower and clean up?" He extended a hand to her. She nodded, stood, and then fell, fortunately into his quickly outstretched arms. "Am I that good?" He demanded, pleased._

_ "No! My legs are tired from dancing." She teased. "Of course, you were great, too."_

_ "Well, then. Let's wash up, make you comfy. And then we have four more hours and two more condoms. Wanna see if we can use 'em both?"_

_ "Alright." Lexy swayed her hips seductively, suddenly feeling very aware of her womanly power, especially when Alex latched onto her bottom like a drowning man to a life preserver. "Let go of that!"_

_ "No! I never knew you had such a hot little ass, and for the next four hours, it's mine. I'll let you have 'Steely'." He offered a trade._

_ "It's a deal." _

_ "Kiss on it?" He leaned forward._

_ "Kiss on it." She agreed._

**Best Friends Again**

_"Where are those two? Late to their own graduation party." Buffy commiserated with Willow._

_ "Well, at least school's officially ended for them, so we know they aren't in the principal's office."_

_ "Or suspended." Spike smiled fondly. They'd only ever gotten suspended once, and it was for taking on a vamp that had managed to come up through the old boiler pipes. The principal didn't seem too inclined to believe they had just happened to go down in the basement and found the whole thing trashed. "They're skipping the Grad Grab, they told me that. But they're together, so they gotta be okay."_

_ "Especially if they're packing any of Lexy's heat." Xander smiled proudly and raised a beer to clink with Spike's and Joey's._

_ The seventeen and eighteen year old in question were not feeling okay at all. "It's not as bad as they say." Alex encouraged, laying face down, bare chested._

_ "That's what we thought about the other 'first'. This is going to suck." Lexy whimpered, also face down, wearing a bra, but shirtless._

_ "Here. Hold my hand?"_

_ "If you break my fingers..."_

_ "I won't if you won't."_

_ "Are you kids ready?"_

_ "We're ready." Alex bravely nodded. _

_ "Yeah." Lexy squeaked._

* * *

><p><em> "Where the bloody hell have you been!" Spike roared when his offspring- and adopted offspring- came home two hours late to their own party. "Your mum had herself a near stroke, Gramps and Vance are callin' all your mates, your mum and dad are 'bout to phone the hospitals!" Spike slammed his son against the wall, marveling again that this boy was his mirror, the only one he'd ever get to use, except for the studded ears and the eyebrow scar replaced by a small silver ring. <em>

_ "Hhhh." Alex sucked in a painful breath._

_ "Please! Spike, please-" Lexy dragged her uncle's arms away with an effort. "We got each other a present. I sent you a text. I sent all four of you a text." She held out her phone._

_ Spike backed away, smacking his head. "So that's what the little flashy blue box on the phone means?"_

_ "Yes! Sod it, Dad!" Alex had Lexy help him out of his shirt. "If one of you lot would learn to text aside from Aunt Will..."_

_ "Baby, are you okay?" Buffy rushed to him, Willow and Xander heading to their own child. _

_ "Were you attacked? Is it bad? Joey, get your British butt in here!" Xander hollered._

_ "It's not an injury. It's art." Lexy unbuttoned her shirt enough to roll down the back while still keeping decent. _

_ On Lexy's left and Alex's right shoulder was a black scrawling tattoo of a tree. It flowed smoothly from one side to the next like it was on one body instead of two. "See? Look in the branches. On my side you see 'Al'-"._

_ "And on mine you see "Lex". Together, we're Alex, but I call her Lex, and she calls me Al- you get it." Alex trailed off._

_ "And look what else. Start reading on his farthest branch and keep reading to mine." Lexy grinned. _

_ "Awful Alexes." Xander read slowly, finding the pattern in the scrawling script of the branches, despite the burnt-looking red skin._

_ "That's so sweet!" Willow burst into tears. "My baby! My baby-baby all grown up! But still together."_

_ "We're friends to the end. Like you guys." Alex looked at their parents. _

_ "That must've hurt like a bitch." Spike admired his son's nerve._

_ "That's true." He laughed. "But it's worth it. No matter where I go, I'm gonna always have my best friend on my side. Literally. When I can afford more, I might get other names put on."_

_ "But we always want them to match, get them done together." Lexy spoke quickly._

_ "I don't think anyone will mind if it stays an 'Alex' thing." Buffy smiled. "Except for one part. You're seventeen for another two months, Alexander Giles Summers. How did you get them to do this?"_

_ "I lied." He smiled bashfully, giving her a bad boy smile that was just like his dad's. She groaned, but the rest of the family smiled in spite of themselves._

_ "Matching tats." Spike admired the artwork again. "What do you think, Luv? How about Slayer on you, Champion on me? But we link 'em up somehow?"_

_ "I say- maybe. On our fiftieth." Buffy gave in with a seductive smile. That was something for the bad boy side of her husband, the purely Spike side. She wouldn't mind giving him any present he wanted._

_ "On our thirtieth, Pet. Thirty. Dear Lord, thirty's comin' up quick!"_

_ "I think we got away with it." Lexy whispered as they slipped away._

_ "Thank God. Now- when d'you wanna tell 'em about the motorcycles?"_

**Cleveland**

_ "You'll make sure you present yourselves to the current slayer immediately? Her name is Allison Tennison, and her Watcher is Jeremy Hodge. They're both young, and actually, probably know less than you. It's important you get there as soon as you can. Go to them first." Giles addressed his two grandchildren as they stood, knapsacks and leathers on, helmets in hand. _

_ "We promise. Even before we go to Lex's orientation." Alex hugged his grandfather goodbye lingeringly. Lexy threw herself into his arms next, sniffling._

_ "I'm going to miss you so much. So, so much."_

_ "Then don't go!" Giles gave into his grandfatherly heartache. "Cleveland is a Hellmouth! Your mothers, your fathers- all of us almost died in Sunnydale, and I- I cannot stand the thought-" He removed his glasses, bi-focals at this point, and looked pleadingly at his children's children._

_ "That's why they need us. We're a crack team. You said so." Alex whispered._

_ "You could be a crack team here."_

_ "Tanya and Will have this place covered, besides the original best Slayer, best Champion, best Watcher, Wicca, Alliance Medic, and Demon Hunter." Lexy refused to let go of his arm._

_ "We're not all of us as fast as we were." Giles reminded them softly, looking towards his wife, her once dark brown locks now streaked with spirals of silver. His eyes wandered past the ageless Summers, instead looking at Xander and Willow. Middle age was truly setting in, Xander's hair sprinkled with gray, Willow's youthful face, still young and fresh, magic prolonging her beauty and lifespan in general, but thinner, skin tightening as she aged.._

_ "When you need us to come home, we'll come." Alex assured, trying not to look too hard and see what his grandfather was referring to. It was already hard to leave, but it was getting hard to stay, too, always in the same circles, always just "one of", instead of just "one". As long as he was still one of the Awful Alexes, that was enough for a new adventure. He smiled bravely. "In the mean time, Lex got accepted into one of the best graphic arts and engineering programs, an' I- well I'm gonna find a job in a martial arts studio pretty easy."_

_ "You don't know that." Giles pointed out gently._

_ "I know I can whoop any non-demon, an' most of the demon ones too. That oughta help get me hired, if I can kick the teacher's sorry ass."_

_ "Lord, such lack of restraint and planning..."_

_ "That's why he needs me. And I need him. Besides- our full Alliance pay should kick in this month, right? We can afford the little two bedroom. It's not too far from campus. And we'll have Allison and Mr. Hodge. We'll make new friends." Lexy squeezed Giles' arm comfortingly. _

_ "You're both your fathers' children, you realize that? Completely, bloody, utterly stubborn? Walking headlong into danger, cheerfully and determinedly?"_

_ "Yes." Lex and Alex smiled in acknowledgement. _

_ "Then remember we love you. Alright. Vance. Your turn, My Darling."_

_ An openly sobbing Vance came up to embrace them._

_ "Only twelve more people to go." Lexy hissed in Alex's ear._

_ "We're never gonna make it to Cleveland by sundown..."_

Two days later...

_ "ALEX!" _

_ "I'm in the shower, Lexy!"_

_ "There are roaches the size of plum tomatoes in the kitchen!"_

_ "You're not a girly girl. Kill 'em!"_

_ "I don't want to!"_

_ "I don't want to, either!"_

_ "I'm going to scoop them up and put them in your room if you don't come help me!"_

_ "I'm comin'. Bleedin' hell, woman! You'd think I was married to you!"_

_ "I'm sorry, I don't think my sadomasochistic tendencies run past being your roommate!" Lexy stood in the midst of a few boxes their parents had shipped to Cleveland. They had both kind of over played their "tough guy" attitude to come here, and now they were on their own pretty much. Lexy would start college in a week at the Cleveland School of Art and Technology, and Alex would job hunt at the local gyms and training places. They would patrol with the slayer and watcher duo they'd met yesterday as often as possible._

_ "You know SJ doesn't think we're just roommates. Did you tell her about our one and only time?"_

_ "Our three and only time? Yeah." Lexy handed her best friend a rolled up newspaper as he came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, bleached hair in a riot of plastered streaks on his forehead._

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because she's my girlfriend best friend. I had to tell someone, and you were already at the event. I know you didn't tell David, but that's only because he's younger than us."_

_ "Well, don't tell anyone else! I'm good with you in your room, and me in mine. I mean- you know what I mean, Lex." He swatted the offending bugs with deadly accuracy in time with Lexy. They had fought together so well for the last year or so. Easy stuff, with plenty of back up, but everyone said they moved together beautifully, as good as Will and Tanya, nearly as good as Buffy and Spike._

_ "You mean you love me, but we're done?"_

_ "Well- I mean... if you need it..." _

_ "I don't need it that bad, Al, but thanks for asking. And you, too."_

_ "Okay. Good."_

_ "Get dressed and come to the store with me? We need roach traps and sprays and bombs and possibly milk, bread, and eggs."_

_ "And something to put the eggs in to cook 'em." Alex quipped, heading back to his room._

_ "And something to eat them on." Lexy pulled on her Doc Martens. "And with."_

_ "Should we make a list?" Alex called._

_ "Who do you think I am? My mom? We'll wing it."_

**Hunters**

_ "Should've taken my car, Lex." Alexander grumbled as they stopped at a light._

_ The gorgeous redhead pulled off her helmet and tossed her hair to un-mat it. "I didn't know it was supposed to storm, okay?" She fanned herself and leaned back for a moment, legs weary after hours of riding. "Besides, you're gonna stay for your parents anniversary, and I promised I'd get back."_

_ "You could take a couple days off. Alli and Hodge won't die- too much- if you stay for my parents' thirtieth."_

_ "I know, but, five years of team work is a long time. I don't like feeling like they're on their own." The light changed and helmets went back on. _

_ "Bloody, buggerin' NYC traffic! We shoulda held this in Pine Ridge!" Alex made one final shouted comment before they roared off._

_ Thirty years ago tomorrow would be the anniversary of the defeating of the First and closing the Hellmouth in Sunnydale. All survivors of the event were meeting in New York City, along with their families, certain Alliance members, coven members, and close friends. New York City was chosen as the destination, and a large hotel had been rented out, cloaked, warded, and generally made evil proof. The tenth anniversary, and the twentieth, had been held in other cities, far away from Pine Ridge. This year, by right of Giles, Buffy, and Spike throwing a fit, the event was finally being held near them. _

_ Lexy and Alex still worked and patrolled in Cleveland, still lived in their two bedroom walk up flat, despite the fact that they made enough now to live on their own. Alex taught several karate classes four days a week, Lexy was a free lance graphic artist, and they both earned money as Demon Hunters through the Alliance. Lexy earned extra on commission by designing and building weapons for slayers and other Alliance members._

_ They'd had close calls, more than once they had carried each other to the nearest ER and called the family to fly in, fearing the end was near. More than once the family had to fly in anyway, for "apocalyptic tech support" as Alex liked to call it. They'd argued, they'd loved, they'd comforted each other through a few bad love affairs, but never gone to bed together again, never touched each other in a sexual way. Even SJ, hardcore romantic, gave up, and said they must be too much alike to really have anything but a platonic relationship. "They're jus' bloody stupid.", was Spike's more acerbic take on it when he demanded Alex get busy and get Lex before someone else did. Xander and Willow were mildly relieved. "We want one normal grandkid, come on." Xander teased. They were both secretly relieved and a little surprised when the pair hotly denied having plans of a future together- unless it involved the "thirty clause"._

**Sunnydale Survivors' Thirtieth Reunion, Cameron Hotel Ballroom, New York, New York**

_ "Angel didn't come, did he?" Alex asked Lexy as they rode down in the elevator together._

_ "Nope. The Poof can't stand to see you guys unless he has to, you know that." Lexy smoothed her dress._

_ "Good. I hate watchin' him an' Dad goin' at it."_

_ "No one will go at it tonight. I hope. I can't wait to see SJ. And Tanya must look like she's carrying a watermelon by now." _

_ "I want to go get sloshed with Dad, Joey, and Gramps, now that I'm finally legal an' there's a Manchester game on tonight."_

_ "You can't leave to watch Man U. tonight! This is a reunion, butthead."_

_ "But I've got a pony on-"_

_ "You're not supposed to gamble. You're like your dad, you win- but you're also human- you bleed when they beat you up for it." She laughed._

_ "You know I never get beat up- well- not more than one punch before they're down." He laughed right back._

* * *

><p><em> Several hours later, after dinner and speeches, the party was in full swing, and Alex and Lexy bumped into each other at the bar. "Are you having fun?" He shouted over the blare of the piped in music.<em>

_ "Yes! Did you see all of SJ and Max's pictures? He can't be here, of course, but he wrote a letter to us!"_

_ "I saw! I'm writin' him one back. Gotta do my brotherly threatenin' by mail these days!"_

_ "I know! I saw the one Will wrote! I didn't think he'd ever use language like that!"_

_ "Oh, he'll go off about family, but that's pretty much it." Alex's voice trailed off and he tugged Lexy's arm. "Who is that caramel colored bad girl that just walked in?" He breathed, staring openly at a long-legged, busty brunette with mocha latte skin. She walked with a feminine swagger, confident and carrying an attitude. His type. _

_ "With the side of tall, cocoa, and handsome?" Lexy's breath caught in her throat._

_ "They've got to be brother and sister- same big, brown eyes." He walked a few steps nearer to the pair. "Full, pouty lips..."_

_ "Shall we be jackals? They hunt in pairs." Lexy winked conspiratorially._

_ "You know it, Red Hot." Alex turned to his best friend, his something deeper than a friend, and gave her a long look. "You lookin' to bag, or just flirt?"_

_ "Hmm. I'm leaning towards bag. I'm twenty four. Not getting any younger."_

_ "Yeah, you'd better move, because we hit the big three- oh, and you're mine."_

_ "I love you to death, and you know my first time was awesome-"_

_ " _Our_ first time." He reminded her with a smile._

_ "But it's almost too comfy, you know?"_

_ "I know." He agreed. They shared a sigh for all the good things past. "So. Bag it is."_

_ "Bag it is." She nodded firmly._

_ "Then come here." Alex pulled her into a corner behind the potted palms. "Let me adjust a couple things." He tugged Lexy's tight black dress down to show more cleavage, and then tenderly, but quickly, cupped her breasts and pushed them up and forward. "Lick your lips. Fluff out your hair. Mmm. Red Hot, you're gonna burn him, Baby."_

_ "Thanks, Alex. Now you." Lexy gave him a critical stare. "Turn up your collar." He turned up the collar of his loose black button down and then let Lexy rake her fingers through his hair to loosen it up. Lastly, she leaned forward and kissed him hard. "Pouty lip effect. Let's go get 'em, tiger."_

_ Shoulder to shoulder, the pair oozed out onto the crowded dance floor, heading towards the pair they'd spotted earlier. They smiled matching smiles, all easy grace and easy on the eyes. The Alexes knew they were unstoppable together. _

_ "I don't believe I've had the pleasure." Alex approached the girl, emphasizing the word_ "_pleasure" as he extended his hand._

_ "Hope Wood. This is my brother, Nicholas."_

_ "I'm Alex Summers." He bowed over her hand, eyes remaining up, blue eyes fanned under long black lashes._

_ "I'm Lexy R. Harris." Lexy let her hand linger in Nicholas's palm a little longer than necessary._

_ "You're B's son? I should've known. You look just like the vamp. Down to the bleach." Hope gave an unpleasant snort and tossed her flowing ebony curls. "Don't you get tired of living in his shadow?"_

_ "Good shadow to live in. If I was livin' in it." Alex replied easily. "I don't think I am, but I try not to argue with beautiful women."_

_ "You're on your own, Alex." Lexy could see this deteriorating fast. Come hell or threat of death, she would stay by her best friend. Watching him blow a seduction- she thought he could handle on his own. "I bet you're the calmer twin. You are twins, aren't you?"_

_ "Yeah, we are. And yeah, I am. You must be Willow Rosenberg's daughter. You have her hair."_

_ "Lucky I don't have my dad's eyes, or I'd be more asymmetrical." Lexy joked._

_ "Buy you a drink? I've never had the pleasure of meeting the finest arms designer the Alliance has seen in thirty years."_

_ "The Alliance has only been around thirty years." Lexy slid his arm through hers._

_ "I know. I was being smooth."_

_ "Sorry. I'm used to Alex. Smooth kinda gets stuck in your head."_

_ "So I should be blunt?"_

_ "No. I think I can retrain myself to hear smooth." Lexy smiled and let him lead her away._

* * *

><p><em> "She's not your girlfriend, is she?" Hope crossed her arms and watched her twin silently gliding off with Lexy on his elbow.<em>

_ "No! My best mate."_

_ "Really? Because you two seem kind of chummy. Not in a good way."_

_ "Look who makes rash assumptions." Alex smiled cheekily. "Do you do everything so fast?" He batted his lashes._

_ "Don't even try it, Spawn. I know your father. He killed my grandmother!"_

_ "My dad killed a load of grandmothers, Sweetheart." Alex shrugged. "Your mum tried to kill mine, didja know that bit? An' your dad- tried to do in my dad. I'm willin' to overlook it if you are."_

_ "You lookin' for a throw down? Is that it?" Hope spread her arms. "You think Faith Wood's daughter can't kick your sorry vamp spawn ass?"_

_ "You're cute like your mum, Hope- but you got race issues like your dad."_

_ "What, now I'm racist? Against what, I'm black and white!"_

_ "Against vampires, you bint. My dad is a good man, now. Your mum is a good woman. Were they always? Nope. Don't think so. An' I came here to party. Not 'throw down'. It's a disrespect to people's memories to brawl in here."_

_ "Outside?" Hope crossed her arms and cocked her head._

_ Alex looked around. The thought of three days of no patrol was making him crazy to hit something. And the bitch had it coming. Cute as she was. "Yeah. Alright." He shrugged easily._

_ "Let's go."_

* * *

><p><em> "Oh shit..." Nicholas stopped gazing sweetly into gold flecked hazel eyes he was rapidly losing himself in. "Hope's gone outside with your friend, what's his name."<em>

_ "Alex. Outside? That's okay. Maybe things started to go better."_

_ "My sister would sooner eat her own arm off at the shoulder than lip lock a vampire."_

_ "He's not a vampire! He's a guy. Pale, but human. Okay?" She frowned pointedly._

_ "I know that. Don't give me the death stare, I've got nothing against him. Hey, Angel's number two on the house speed dial, he and my mom talk 'redemption' on a monthly basis. I know about the souled deal, Angel and your uncle are't bad guys, despite the packaging. At least- not bad _now_. But, um, Hope doesn't like exceptions to rules. Unless she's the exception." Nicholas explained with a shake of his head and a sigh, looking at the doorway his sister had just gone through._

_ "Is she a Slayer?"_

_ "Nope. And don't think it doesn't drive her nuts. She's got Slayer on both sides and she didn't get the big cosmic lotto numbers."_

_ "Ah. Bitterness about the powers or lack thereof. I get that. My dad and I the ones without powers in our family."_

_ "Oh, you're a very powerful woman." Nicholas smiled, enchanted more every second by the frank attitude, the sense of humor, the gorgeous face..._

_ Lexy flushed under his complimentary gaze and decided to wrap up the conversation about Alex and Hope, get back to the more fascinating subject of him and her. "So, Alex is safe?"_

_ "Hope fights dirty. Like our mom." He warned._

_ "Hmm. I love Alex. But I think I deserve a night off. He won't kill her, and he won't die. Can I get you another rum and coke?"_

_ "No, I insist. Let me."_

* * *

><p><em> Xander unhurriedly left Andrew, a bittersweet smile on his face. Reminiscing about Anya always made his heart ache, but it was a proud pain. Speaking of proud and painful creatures- "Hi there, Mrs. Wood." He smiled at the brunette slayer as he passed her.<em>

_ "Just Faith, Xan-man." Faith laughed, lips still full and luscious, eyes still sparkling mischievously even after all these years, the long battles, personal and private, hadn't dimmed the fire in her. "How you been, Dude?" She leaned against him and clinked her beer to his in a gesture of celebration. _

_ "I'm good." He beamed. "Granddaughter due any day now."_

_ "Awesome! Oh, man, so that means B and Spike are about to be grandparents. Damn, when you know to look past the glamor it's freaky isn't it? See her still looking like America's sweetheart- and about to be a grandma!"_

_ "You have no idea." He laughed and sipped his beer. "How about you guys? Your kids- hm, your kids must be just about the same age as our oldest."_

_ "A couple years after, I think. Took us a long time for the treatments from Vance to work- but when they did, two for one, gotta love that deal." Faith looked around with a wondering smile, for her beautiful boy and girl, something good she'd done with her life, the best thing, even better than slaying, better than marrying Robin, learning to trust someone again. "Did I tell you- shit!" Faith gasped, giggled, and dragged Xander behind a tower of balloons._

_ "Whoa!" Xander slid with her, and then mimicked her, head popping out and then back furtively. "What is it?" He hissed. "Intruders? Unfriendlies?"_

_ "No! Look- that's your youngest, right? Totally giving my son the Bambi eyes."_

_ Xander peeked and then smiled. "No, no, your boy is giving her the lovestruck look. She's gorgeous, all the guys love that pretty face. Then she opens her mouth..." He smirked with paternal pride._

_ "Oh, I know, I heard her speak one time, all about how thumb -triggered double projectile harnesses should be reloaded by a second party for maximum efficiency. Nick's gonna be all over her."_

_ "Really?" Xander watched protectively. "All over her how?"_

_ "Oh don't worry, he's not like me. He's like his dad, college boy and looks good in a suit and everything." Faith punched his arm and Xander winced. _

_ "Good. Ooh. Troubling thought, in the event that this isn't just a casual drink for those two." He cleared his throat. "Do your kids know about that one time we-"_

_ "God, no!" Faith looked mortified._

_ "Mine either!"_

_ "Let's keep it that way!"_

_ "By all means!"_

_ There was an awkward moment of looking away and fake coughing. Then Xander stepped away from their hiding spot and asked cheerfully, "So. Nicholas, nice boy."_

_ "Uh-huh. Lexy, too. Nice girl, I mean." Faith nodded quickly, emphatically._

_ Xander steered them towards the table where his wife and eldest daughter were laughing and looking at pictures. "Yep. Both of my girls turned out great. What's your daughter been up to?"_

* * *

><p><em> "I heard all about him. The way he fought her- then confused her- until she- loved him." Hope and Alex traded blows, dancing around a garbage strewn alley behind the Cameron. "Or it could be her. She had two vamps." She sneered contemptuously.<em>

_ "Look, Pet, I get that you're angry, but could you please stop bashin' my old man? An' leave my mum out of it altogether, unless you want some not so pretty tales about yours." Alex swept her legs out from under her._

_ "Don't call me pet!"_

_ "It's better than bitch." Alex was losing his temper._

_ "Coming from you? I prefer bitch."_

_ "Then listen up- bitch." Alex grabbed her wrist and flipped her down to the sidewalk, and straddled her chest, suddenly putting one hand under her chin, and one hand on top of her head. "Here's the difference between me, my dad, and William the Bloody, the bloke what did your grandmother." His fingers tightened when she struggled and his nostrils flared warningly. "William the Bloody killed slayers. Your grandmother was a slayer. She killed vamps. They were enemies, meant to face each other. They did their jobs. Someone walks away, an' someone lies on the ground." Hope tried to sit up and Alex slammed her shoulders back. "Not done. Now, here's the difference between my dad and William the Bloody. My dad is William Summers. Spike Summers. He doesn't kill slayers, he trains them, helps them, and married the one he loved. My mum. 'Cause people change. You wanna talk change- go talk to Faith."_

_ Alex slowly brought the girl to her knees, falling back off of her, her head still in his hands. "Here's the difference between my dad and I. He wouldn't hurt you. You're a human. You could talk down to him all day, and he'd let you, 'cause he knows he could kill you so, so easily." Alex's voice dropped to a whisper. "But me? I'm jus' a normal guy. A little stronger, a little faster, a little paler than most. I'd beat the livin' crap out of any human who pushes me hard enough." _

_ He released her and stood up with a smile, letting her head fall back with a cough as she regained full use of her throat. "Here's where Dad and I are the same. We'd both let you live. And neither one of us would apologize, 'cause you asked for it." Alex walked away._

_ He was no longer in the mood to seduce. He wanted his comforting friends and family about him. Especially his father. Then Lexy. He went in to the ballroom, scuffed and scraped, but no one would look twice at that, not if they knew who he was. In the ballroom, he bee-lined for his parents, sitting and laughing with two people he vaguely knew, and his grandparents. Lexy was slow dancing with Nicholas Wood. "Hope to God he's not a bigot." He muttered._

_ Lexy looked over Nicholas's shoulder, and saw Alex. _Hmm. Bruised knuckles, one hand only. He got her disabled fast. Oh, well. She was egging him on. I should go check on him...

_ Alex caught Lexy's eye. He gave her one of their signals. Open, outward facing palm, "stop and stay", followed by the "okay" symbol. She should stay where she was, he would be fine. She nodded gratefully, and snuggled into Nicholas's shoulder. "At least one of us is having some luck. Good for her."_

To be continued...


	30. Chapter 30

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

_This story is a sequel to "Behind the Scenes". If you haven't read that, this story won't make any sense, so please make sure you read it first. "Behind the Scenes" and its sequel contain FICTION about the actors who played Spike and Buffy, as well as Spike and Buffy themselves. (Deleted Scenes is mainly Spuffy/Characters.) I know the actors in my tale have wonderful families of their own, and that none of this ever happened. If that premise isn't to your liking, please go find one of the many wonderful fics that is solely about the characters. Sorry to get on my soapbox. (Hops off and runs back to laptop.)_

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Behind the Scenes", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, Rosalea12, and TeddyBear-514._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine.**_

Part XXX

**Alex and Lexy's Story Part II**

**Ask Me**

_ Alex looked up from his coffee. Lexy was creeping into the apartment silently, as if she didn't expect him to still be up at daybreak. "Well?" Alex demanded, rising._

_ Lexy paused by the door. Then, with a slow smile, she raised her left hand with a regal flourish. "He asked."_

_ "ARGGGGGHHHHH! That's brilliant! Well done you!" Alex's roar coincided with him running madly across the small living room and picking Lexy up like she was no heavier than an infant, swirling her around and around his head. "When? How? Tell me everything!"_

_ "When did you grow ovaries?" She teased._

_ "When you grew some balls and told Nick to get over New Orleans and get a place up here with us! A year of long distance relationship crap was all I could take. Was killin' the phone bill. Now tell me everything, tell me everything!" He shook her up and down as she giggled and shrieked._

_ From the apartment below came a muffled shout and a broom handle pounding under their feet. "Sorry, Mrs. Porter!" They chorused as one._

_ "First, I have a favor I want you to do for me."_

_ "Name it, Lex."_

_ "Well- Daddy's gonna give me away, obviously. And SJ and Tanya should be bridesmaids. Aunt Dawnie would let Emily be a bridesmaid, she's a little old to be a flower girl, but if Tanya and Will can teach Anna to walk and throw petals by then... "_

_ "You want me to be Nick's best man?" He asked doubtfully, mentally going through the list of roles open to him. The two of them got on, but they weren't best mates or anything. He couldn't imagine Nick wanted Alex to do the supreme honor._

_ "No. Um. Hope is going to be his best- woman, I guess. I mean, she's his twin, they're so, so close."_

_ "No, I get it." He nodded._

_ "Could you be- would you be, my man of honor?"_

_ "What?"_

_ "Would you be the maid of honor? But, you know, a man?"_

_ "What?" Alex was not grasping the concept. All he could see was himself in his black Docs and a pretty pink frock, holding a soddin' bunch of flowers._

_ "You would walk in front of me down the aisle. Like the maid of honor. But it would be you. Because- I love you the most. Tanya's my sister and I love her, SJ is my best girlfriend in the universe, but she's not close to me like she used to be. You- you're like my everything important. Would you do it for me? Please?"_

_ "In a dress?" He finally croaked out._

_ "No! In a suit! And you won't carry flowers. I thought you could hold a single rose or a lily if you want, but..." _

_ "Hey, I'll carry whatever. Hell, I'd probably wear the dress if you invoked the sacred code of the Awful Alexes." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'm so happy for you, Lex. He makes you whole inside, yeah? The true love bit?"_

_ "Yeah. Well- the true love part. I wouldn't be whole inside without you."_

_ "Sod it. I'm gonna cry." _

_ "Me, too." Lexy flung her arms around his neck, and they both laughed, and hugged, and shouted, and cried, until Mrs. Porter finally came up to see if someone needed an ambulance or a straight jacket._

**One More Dance**

_"Don't go yet." Lexy caught Alex's hand._

_ "Lex, Nicholas is probably dyin' to get you off to the honeymoon suite!" Alex laughed, but he dropped the jacket of his tuxedo back down on the nearest chair. _

_ "I know. But we have a lifetime together, and all the family is here..."_

_ "_Was _here. Lex, it's two in the morning." Alex looked at his best friend, the bride. "You still look bloody gorgeous. I thought you'd have sweated to death in that contraption by now." _

_ Lexy self consciously looked down at her sleeveless, long flowing gown, covered with tiny pearls and swirls and generally not at all her style. "Tomorrow, I'm back to boots and jeans. Heels were invented by torturers in the Inquisition, I'm sure of it."_

_ "Tomorrow you'll be in a bikini or nothin'. An' for God's sake, Lex- wear sunscreen in Cancun. You won't tan, you'll burn, Redhead. An' a burned body on a honeymoon should come from the inside out, not the other way round. Not as touchable."_

_ "Stop!" She laughed. "I'll use SPF three thousand, okay?"_

_ "Okay." Alex hugged her hard as they stood near one of the confetti strewn tables in the reception hall. "I love you. You were the prettiest bride. Better'n SJ or Tanya."_

_ "I love you. You were the best man of honor ever. And you were the handsomest man here. Well- except for one." _

_ Lexy's eyes drifted to her groom as he approached. "Hello, Husband."_

_ "Mmm, hello, Wife. Love the sound of that." Nicholas, resplendent in his waistcoat and unbuttoned collar, leaned in and grabbed his new bride in a long, searching kiss, which she eagerly returned. There was a smattering of applause from the handful of family left. "Shall we leave these hardcore party-ers on their own?" He asked in a purr._

_ "Sounds good. Let me say goodnight to Mom and Daddy. And I know Hope wants you."_

_ "Five minutes, and then we're leaving, Beautiful."_

_ "Deal, Handsome."_

_ "If you two weren't newly married, I'd be sick all over you." Alex teased their mushiness. Nick glared and Lexy gave hims a single look that he understood as well as a million word lecture. "Congratulations, Man. You snagged the best girl in the world." Alex pounded Nicholas on the back and they hugged briefly. _

_ "You know I did." Nicholas eyed Lexy adoringly. _

_ At that moment, Hope, in her long coral gown interrupted the trio. "If you're done talking to Spawn-"_

_ "Hope. You promised." Nicholas warned. _

_ " 'Salright. Hullo, Bitch. Thanks for keepin' it civil until most of the guests left." Alex smiled charmingly as the stunning, curvy brunette. She rolled her eyes and tugged Nicholas away to say goodbye to someone. _

_ "You two." Lexy groaned, and pulled Alex in the opposite direction. _

_ "It isn't my fault. How can Faith be so cool, and Wood and Hope be so- so not?" Alex demanded. _

_ "She'll come around some time. If you didn't act like such a badass-"_

_ "I put on a collar an' tie for you, Lexa. I've finished with my good boy routine for another ten years."_

_ "Me, too." Lexy conceded, and looked up at him with a pointed gaze. "One more dance with me?"_

_ "The DJ-"_

_ "Can play one more song. I don't care what one. But you and me are going to have one more dance! One more dance, everyone!" Lexy tugged Alex into the middle of the hardwood dance area. "Chris, would you- please? One more song for us?"_

_ The DJ had been about to pack, and he was exhausted. These people were weird. The toasts and conversations he'd heard tonight. And he swore the uncle of the bride had no reflection. He often saw a petite blonde swaying to a song by herself, reflected in the mirrored walls, only to look up, and see her partner all over her. "Well-"_

_ "Oh, please? For us?" Lexy turned her pout on him, and Alex turned on his hardest, most lethal gaze._

_ Chris sat back down and looked at the pair pleading for the request. The bride and the "man of honor". They weren't siblings. He'd thought so at first, but no- the body language went deeper. They were friends. Maybe once they'd been more. "Okay, what do you want me to play?" He gave in._

_ "Anything! Something with a beat, not a slow dance." Lexy cheered and motioned her parents and Buffy and Spike out on the floor. Faith was pulling Wood, and Hope was being coaxed along by Nicholas. Everyone else was gone._

_ "The last song for our- happy couple." Chris scrolled through his music with a smile that masked his annoyance. _

_ Lexy blew her groom a kiss at the DJ's words, and moved in closer to Alex as the music started._

You're always dancing down the street

With your suede blue eyes

And every new boy that you meet

He doesn't know the real surprise

_"Oh, bugger, this song's not for tonight." Alex groused. _

_ "What is it? It's oldies."_

_ "It's the Cars, Firecracker. It's classic. But it isn't good for us."_

_ "It's perfect." She beamed up into his blue eyes._

Here she comes again

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

Oo, she'll make you flip

here she comes again

_ Alex relaxed slightly. Sod the DJ and his subtle jibe. He'd gotten it wrong anyway. Lexy wasn't his best friend's girl. She was the best friend._

_ "I like it. I do make you flip, don't I?" She teased, referring to the lyrics._

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

I kinda like the way she dips

_"Yeah. You do." Alex dipped her, playing along with the words as well._

Well she's my best friend's girl

She's my best friend's girl-irl

But she used to be mine

_ "Ohhhh." Lexy's face clouded as she caught the inference. _

_ "Wanker."Alex muttered towards the DJ._

_ Lexy began to giggle. "I don't even wanna know what he thinks about the two of us."_

_ "Something dirty." Alex dipped her again, leering. "But I bet it's something worthy of the Awful Alexes."_

_ "And he's totally off. I didn't _used _to be yours. I'll always be yours."_

You've got your nuclear boots

And your drip dry glove

Oo when you bite your lip

It's some reaction to love, o-ove, o-ove

_"Well, at least that part's right." Alex spun with his best friend. "You do look damn sexy in boots. Can't say gloves do anything for me, but-"_

_ "Shut up!" Lexy shoved him playfully in the midst of their dance. "I'm not the lip biter. That's you. I see how you check out that blonde in glasses who's in your Wednesday class."_

_ " I do not! Lip biter- that's you. Whenever Nicholas comes up behind you in the kitchen, your little lip goes right between the teeth. Like you know he'd rather bend you over the sink, than help you wash the dishes." He poked her lower lip._

_ "Yeah, well, I've seen the way you do dishes. Or the way you don't. You'd rather bend me over, too."_

Here she comes again

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

Yeah, I think you'll flip

here she comes again

_"Gonna have to do all my own dishes now. Sod."_

_ "You could move to a place where the dishwasher actually works."_

_ "Then where would I store all the weapons when the landlord comes over?" Alex demanded. They both laughed._

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

here she comes again

I kinda like the way, I like the way she dips

'cause she's my best friend's girl

Well she's my best friend's girl-irl

And she used to be mine

She's so fine

_"Home isn't going to feel much like home." Alex leaned heavily on her, whispering in her ear as they rocked and spun across the floor. "I'm gonna miss you so bad Lexy._"

You're always dancing down the street

With your suede blue eye-eyes

_ Lexy looked at him and gasped when she saw his eyes were actually sparkling with tears. "Oh, Al... Don't. Don't, I'm going to miss you so much, too." She clung to him with sudden convulsiveness._

And every new boy that you meet

Doesn't know the real surprise

_"Don't be daft. You'll have the new hubby to play with."_

_ "That's not going to replace you. Idiot."_

Here she comes again

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

here she comes again

Oh, she'll make you flip

_"Does he know you insult the men you love?" Alex teased, trying not to get all weepy. But it was true. He'd never- well, it felt like he'd never- lived apart from her. Their houses were separate growing up, but only in structure, and not even entirely. Their parents had built an enclosed walkway between the houses shortly after Will and Tanya were born. They'd slept in the same room often as not over the last twenty some years. Even when they were in Cleveland, all grown up. When neither of them had a partner, it wasn't uncommon for them to crash in each other's rooms._

Here she comes again

When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky

_"I don't insult Nick! I don't know him as well." Lexy blinked up at him, sniffling. They'd always lived together. And next week she'd be gone for good from his house. Their apartment. It was nice knowing she'd always had a best friend within shouting range._

Here she comes again

I kinda like the way, I like the way she dips

'cause she's my best friend's girl, uh

She's my best friend's girl-irl-u-irl

_"Don't you dare cry, Alexa." Alex threatened. _

_ "I can't help it." She pressed her cheek to his._

_ "You're meant to be all happy an' girly today. Even got the frock to prove it." He took her head firmly in his hands, and brushed tears from under her lids._

_ "I know. I'm silly. It's- well- _you're_ home to me. When I went to college, and off on a career, I left my parents' house, but I took you with me, so it was all good. I know you're only going to be 10 minutes away from the new place we rented. But-"_

_ "I know. Feels like we're leavin' home." Alex understood._

She used to be mine

She's so fine

_ "But don't worry. We're going to see each other so much. You're still my everything."_

_ "An' you're still mine, Red Hot."_

_ "That's right. I'm yours, Al."_

_ "Awful Alexes?"_

_ "You know it." Lexy turned her back to him pointedly. Her tattoo was concealed with heavy makeup for her big day. Alex understood. He rolled up his rented sleeve and scrubbed his arm across her shoulder. The tattoo, fainter but now legible, was seen. "Can you see it?"_

_ "I can see it." He kissed the top of her head with brotherly affection. "Awful Alexes."_

_ "Always."_

_ "Good deal, Lex." Alex, still behind her, gave her a playful shove towards her groom as the song ended. "Go enjoy your new 'always'." He smiled and bowed his head to Nicholas, smiling inside and out when Lexy beamed and giggled as her new husband swept her into his arms._

* * *

><p><strong>All of Me<strong>

_Three years later..._

_ "I'm comin'! Bloody hell. I'm comin', I said!" Alex walked through the flat, now rented on his own as Lexy and Nick lived in a nicer apartment about ten minutes away. He rubbed his eyes as he staggered to the door in his ragged sweats and faded white tee that said "Maid of Honor", but had the word "maid" scratched out and had "Man" in its place. "Eight in the fuckin' mornin'. Some people work nights. If this is another parcel from Mum..." He yanked the door open. _

_ "Hi." Lexy looked up at him through bloodshot eyes._

_ "Alexa!" Alex was startled into using her full name by her appearance. Weepy and haggard, in last night's patrol clothes by the looks of it. He'd only seen her yesterday, what could have happened since then? "Lexy, honey, what is it?" He hauled her into the flat, in his arms, and collapsed on the floor when she began to sob against him. "Lex! Lexy- is it- Grandpa?" He whispered, his own eyes prickling with tears at that thought. Their grandparents were extremely active and agile, but they were getting on in years. Tanya thought they'd live longer than normal because of their magic exposure, but still, they all knew that one day bad news would come. "It's Grandpa, isn't it?" He pressed when Lexy just stared at him through her heaving tears._

_ "N-no. No. It's- N-n-nicholas." _

_ "Oh. Oh, sweetheart!" His own eyes began to leak. He didn't like Nick as much as he'd thought he would get to. He thought that maybe after almost four years of living in the same city and nearly three years of being married to his best friend and hunting partner, that they'd get closer. Instead they got farther apart. But he belonged to Lexy and therefore, he loved him like a brother. If he'd been hurt- or worse- _no, please God no, don't let my Red Hot be a gray widow after only a few years as a bride_- he would weep with her and take care of him. "What was it? What got him? How bad?" He asked, pulling her up, onto the couch._

_ "Huh?" She snorted through her choking sob._

_ "Wood! Where is he, how bad is he hurt?"_

_ "H-he's at our - our home. Our home!" She wailed desperately, and cried as though her heart was breaking, her head sinking lower and lower until it rested on his knee. _

_ Alex was dumbstruck and confused. As she sobbed on his lap, he absently stroked her hair. "I don't understand, Lexy. I think I'll get Allison to sit with you, okay? And I'll drive over to-"_

_ "N-no. No, stay. He won't listen anyway."_

_ "He's alive and well?" Alex asked. Lexy nodded, wiping her nose and eyes on her sleeve. "Did you two have a row?"_

_ "We- we- he wants a divorce."_

_ "WHAT?" Alex was blown. "What? Why? Why in the bloody buggerin' hell could he want a -" He rose meteorically, and then paused, anger clouding his vision, making the room swim in pink fog as the blood boiled behind his eyes. "What happened?" He sat back down._

_ "He says I don't really give myself to him." She whispered miserably, huddling against Alex. Alex scooped her up and put her on his lap, not beside him, and held her close, rocking her._

_ "Is this- a sex thing?" He asked cautiously. He and Lexy talked about sex like best mates would, casually and honestly. Because of their unusual bond, they didn't always go into detail, though they knew a lot about each other. He wondered if Nicholas had asked her to do something she was uncomfortable with and was just throwing a manly, horny fit._

_ "Maybe a little?"_

_ "Is he pushing you to do things you don't wanna? Because no means no, and I don't care if he put a ring on your finger, a man listens when a woman says no!" _

_ "Not like that. It's not what we do in the bedroom. It's what I did before."_

_ "You're always careful. I know you were. You were on the pill, I took you to the clinic, an' we kept that big box of Trojans in the bathroom for either of us to grab..."_

_ "Alex- we were talking about our firsts. I know you said not to tell anyone besides SJ, but he's my husband. He has a special pass."_

_ "Okay. I understand that. You did tell him it was over ten years ago now?"_

_ "Yeah. But that's not the problem. He says you're in my life too much. You aren't really my brother, and you were my lover, and it isn't healthy. He thinks all of us are unhealthy, too close knit. He called us inbreds."_

_ "You might not want to tell me all this Lex. When you two make up, I'm still gonna have heard this. An' right now I jus' wanna kill him."_

_ "I kinda do, too." She laughed weakly, damp cheek to his. "But we're not making up."_

_ "C'mon, Flames, all of us have rows. We get over it."_

_ "He hates that your name is on my shoulder."_

_ "That's a friend thing! Didn't you tell him as soon as I settle down we're getting another branch added with their names? An' one for each baby, right?"_

_ "That was the plan." She laughed, bitterly this time. "I told him it was a friend thing. I told him about the 'Alexes' and our club, our life together, in Pine Ridge, and then here. How the sex was once, one night, when we were in high school! He thinks I'm still pining for you, or you're pining for me."_

_ "I love you so much. But you're with him. I want that for you. Marriage is important, Lex, you gotta- you gotta make it okay." He swallowed painfully. "We'll get the tats lasered off."_

_ "No!" She slid off his lap to look him in the eyes, fierce and sad all at once. "Why should I? We got this together, as best friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend! We got it the night we graduated from high school! We're not getting them removed. And anyway, Alex, it's my shoulder he has the problem with, not yours. Why would you put yourself through the pain and the expense?"_

_ "Because it's an us thing." He whispered softly. "A me an' you thing. Without your half- I just have an unfinished tree and part of some words on my shoulder."_

_ "He already asked me to have it removed." She admitted softly. "I told him no."_

_ "Lexy! You can't just tell him no! He wants my name off your skin, I get that, it's a little too old neanderthal, 'markin' my turf' for my tastes, but he has a point. If we hadn't slept together, if we hadn't been the first lovers for each other, okay, I could see where you tell him to get over himself an' deal. But we did, and we are, or were, or whatever the hell is the right phrase, an' you can get it taken off. Or just the words maybe, an' we could keep the tree. You can design some leaves and flowers out of the letters, you can design anything, Lex."_

_ "Alex- I told him no. He said he wanted all of me. You are a part of that. You help make me whole. You help make the 'all'. I gave him what he said he wanted. And he didn't really want it, I guess." Her brave face crumpled again, dissolving into tears._

_ Alex frowned and sighed, pulled her back into his arms and rocked her again. "Shhh. Shh, Lex, he's a fool. About this bit. I guess. Oh, Red Hot... don't cry, Lex, you're my Firecracker, my Flame. Don't you get your fire put out."_

_ "I didn't give him enough. I'm a failure, Alex. I failed. I failed, I didn't give him enough, I gave him all of me and it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough! _I'm_ not enough!" Her wail rose to a hysterical, hiccuping sob. Alex growled when Mrs. Porter made her aversion to the noises known. _

_ "IT'S LEXY, YOU DAFT OLD BAT! SHUT UP!" He roared through the floorboards. The thumping broom handle stopped immediately. Lexy was still sobbing, and shaking, repeating "I wasn't enough, I didn't give him enough, all of me wasn't enough..." _This is bad. Even my "shout of death" didn't stop her._ Feeling useless and helpless he hugged her close, as he so often did. They were never sensual in their embraces, but they were warm and often prolonged. He knew her body well, had treated it for wounds, cuts, burns, bites, a million times. And her body didn't feel right to him. Not wrong- just not the same... When he realized what was different, his heart skipped a beat and his eyes flew open._

_ Lexy continued her distraught chant. "Didn't give him enough. Not enough. All of me wasn't enough..."_

_ "Alexa." Alex's voice was soft but arrow sharp. "I don't know what more you can give a man... than holding his child inside you." He breathed in wonder as his hands caressed her stomach. Enhanced senses felt the soft bulge of her abdomen, and picked up on a teeny, tiny swell of movement inside. It must be very early on, because she hadn't even told him. But surely _she_ knew. "Doesn't Nicholas know?"_

_ "He does. And part of him thinks it's yours." She confessed. "I told him- only that once, but he's jealous and he doesn't understand. I know Hope doesn't like you and he loves Hope. I don't know if she poisoned his mind, or if it's just because I love you so much. I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I _don't_ know. Fix it, Alex, please just fix it."_

_ "I will. I will, Lex. I'll do whatever I have to do. I'll go there. You stay here. Rest. Rest an' don't cry anymore. Please. Think of the sprog, okay?" With a whimper, she nodded. Alex picked her up and carried her to her old room, a room that he hadn't ever bothered to do much with, so it still seemed like hers. He put her on the bed and tucked her in. "Rest. I'll be home soon."_

_ Lexy watched him go. _He'll be home soon._ She realized with a stab that she felt more at home here than in her house with her husband. She started to cry softly again._

* * *

><p><em> Alex pounded on the apartment door. He'd changed before leaving, at least into jeans, and his boots. "Go away, Alexa. Wait until I go to work if you want to get your stuff." Nicholas's voice was slurred.<em>

_ "It's Alex." Alex fought to remain calm. "Can I come in?"_

_ Alex blessed his training and reflexes because he caught the fist just as it would have hit him square in the mouth. Staring at the disheveled man who opened the door, he sneered. "Most people jus' say come in."_

_ "Yeah, well most people aren't boning my wife." Wood was drunk, or Alex wouldn't have been able to get a hand on him so quickly. As it was, Alex hoisted him easily and slugged him across the threshold, following him in._

_ "Are you blind as well as stupid?" Alex demanded incredulously. "I haven't been with Lexy since the night of our Junior Prom, man! More'n ten years ago! God, are you that dumb? You still think so much of _your _first you assume she does as well?"_

_ "No! No, see my 'first' wasn't also my best, closest friend, almost a family member, who I then shared a house with for almost seven years! Whose name is on my BACK!" Nicholas lunged and Alex sent him reeling away with a shove._

_ "Jus' stay in a seat, don't fight with me! Lexy loves you an' even though right now everything you're sayin' makes me sick, I don't want to hurt you too much, for her sake."_

_ "I don't get you." Nicholas looked up at him. "Why aren't you home with her? I thought this is what you were waiting for."_

_ "Errrrghhhhh!" Alex let out a groan of frustration and kicked one of the end tables. He barely managed to catch the cut glass lamp and the framed photo of Lex, Tanya and SJ before they fell when the table's legs snapped and fell. "Sorry. I'll pay for it." He put down the items. "What I'm waitin' for? I'm not waitin' for anything at all, definitely not anything like that!"_

_ "Oh, don't pretend. I know about the 'thirty clause'."_

_ "For fuck's sake, Nicholas!" Alex clutched his hair. "What d'you know? 'Cause you obviously heard it wrong. If _both _of us were single at thirty, we'd get married. Jus' to- you know- have someone we care about in our lives, have some children, maybe. Family is important to both of us, an' that's why I'm here. Man, you can hate me all you want, but don't throw Lex away. She's- well I don't have to tell you, do I? She's the most beautiful girl, she's brilliant, an' funny, an' can draw and build like no one you'll ever see, an' she'd never let a bloke down, she's faithful, and loyal, she's carin'..." Alex trailed off, fighting down rage that here he was, wide awake,when everyone that was in the night folk trade should be asleep, trying to "sell" the most wonderful girl in the world to a man who should already swear that she was all that and more. "Don't throw it away."_

_ "You sound like _you're _in love with her." Nicholas laughed harshly. "And as for the 'thirty clause', did you honestly think she wouldn't leave me- if you were still alone at thirty? She'd do anything for you."_

_ "She wouldn't do that! An' I wouldn't ask her to!"_

_ "Then why aren't you married, Alex? You gay?"_

_ "No! I'm not in love with anyone, man or woman, an' I don't want to marry someone I don't love. And Lex feels the same. She loves you, Nicholas. Get sobered up, get your head out of your ass, an' come take her home. Tell her you were stupid an' you'll never do it again. Lex'll forgive you. She's had a lot of practice forgivin' shit ignorant men, like me." _

_ "I don't want her back. Unless-" Nicholas looked at him with a mixture of hope and apology, "unless you'd leave. Stay away from her."_

_ Alex swallowed. "We're family."_

_ "You'd still see each other, then. But on the holidays, birthdays, not every single day." Nicholas looked ashamed for asking._

_ "That's really what it'd take? You- you can't trust your wife enough?"_

_ "I trust her. I don't trust the situation. You're like her everything. I'm just her husband."_

_ "You're the father of her child! You are her husband! She comes home to you every night, she made a life with you!" Alex already knew he would say yes, he'd leave. Because it was to keep Lexy happy. Because there were plenty of demon riddled towns and about thirty slayers to ask for a position with in the states alone, more if he wanted to well and truly leave her far behind. But there was only one man for Lexy and he was a stupid wanker, but he was here. So he would leave them to it, if that's what it took. _

_ "She doesn't come home to me every night. She goes to you half the time. 'Let me drop by Alex's with this new design, I haven't trained with Al yet this week, I wonder if Al wants to come to dinner.' Ha! You're all she thinks about!"_

_ "I'm her best friend! We've been together, as friends, for our whole lives! You thought you came in an' got to erase that? That magically a ring on her finger makes her forget about me? She comes to me in friendship, she goes home to you."_

_ "You two are the blind ones." Nicholas laughed. "No, all of us are. I should've known the day I saw you come in together at that party. I thought you were a couple the second I saw you. You looked like a couple, you acted as one, moved as one, knew each other inside and out, it was obvious. It was like Hope and I, only stronger. Stronger than a twin bond! I was a fool to think I could get in between that."_

_ "There's no between! There's no couple! God dammit, man!"_

_ "Alex? You ever hear the phrase about protesting too much? You both do it."_

_ "You ever hear the phrase about the man getting really, really brassed off because he kept telling the truth and the pillock on the couch wouldn't fuckin' believe him so he _had _to keep protestin'?" Alex threw up his hands. "You know what? Sod this. You want me to leave town, I'll leave. You come with me and take Lexy home." _

_ He turned and walked out the apartment, not looking back, heart burning inside him. _I'm love's bitch. Just like Dad. Even for the wrong kinda love..._He heard footsteps behind him eventually, but he didn't turn. He shoved his helmet on when he got to the bike and tried not to cry on the way home, tried not to scream, 'cause it fogged up the visor, and hoped against hope that Lexy would just go along with him on this._

* * *

><p><em> "Alex?" Lexy asked hopefully as she heard the door click shut. She was curled up in a ball on her old bed, hugging her old pillow to her chest.<em>

_ "Yeah. I'm here." Alex murmured softly, coming in, standing in the doorway._

_ "He didn't change his mind, did he?" Lexy sat up._

_ "Of course he did. He's right behind me." Alex laughed quietly, and left the doorway, letting Nicholas in._

_ "Nicholas!"_

_ "Baby girl!" The two of them embraced in a frantic hug. "I'm so sorry, Lex. I'm so sorry, Baby, never gonna be so stupid again, I don't know what came over me-"_

_ Lexy clutched him, eyes swimming in gratitude and relief. "Nicholas, oh Honey. I was so broken hearted, I was gonna die, I just can't believe things went so wrong so fast -" _

_ Alex listened to the burbling explanations through the thin walls of the cheap apartment. He couldn't stay in the same city for long and not see Lexy. It would hurt too much. Everything would hurt too much, anyway. Like missing his side, his other half. _We're the Alexes. Without her I'm just Alex. Just another guy. _He started packing immediately, eyes blurred as he shoved his worn leather knapsack on the bed and stuffed clothes into it. He dug out a box from the back of his closet and started pouring his books and movies in. _

_ "What are you doing?" Lexy gaped at him from the entrance to his bedroom. _

_ Shit. He hadn't heard the talking stop, he'd been too lost in his own painful thoughts. "Nothin' Lex. You headin' home then? All patched up?"_

_ "What are you doing, Alexander?" She demanded in a "don't argue with me" voice._

_ "Look, Lex, I jus'- you know he's got a point. We spend a lot of time together and sometimes couples need to let go of their old lives-" He stopped. The words tasted bad and he couldn't make them up anymore._

_ "You're not my _old _life! You're my life. Period. Old, present, future. You and me- you and me stick together. I told Nicholas- I told him I'm not choosing between my best friend and my husband. That it's wrong to ask me to do it."_

_ "It is wrong." He agreed with a strangled voice. "So I'm choosing for you." _

_ "Y-you're leaving me?"_

_ "No!" Alex flung the book he was holding across the room. "No, no, Lex, I'll never _leave_ you. I'm just- not gonna be here." It was a lie, it was a terrible lie, and he broke under the weight of it, shoulders suddenly shooting forward and hands covering his face. _

_ "You can't leave me! I need you in my life, Alex!" She ran to him and grabbed his hands away from his face. "Nicholas understands. Nicholas!"_

_ "Honey?" Nicholas came into the room slowly. Alex could tell he'd heard every word, and he wasn't too happy. _

_ "Tell Alex you get it. That we want him around."_

_ Silence filled the room._

_ "Nicholas. Tell him."_

_ "Lexy-" Alex tried to forestall it. It didn't work._

_ "Nicholas Crowly Wood, tell Alex you understand that he is my friend and that you are not feeling so suspicious, so mistrustful of your wife and one of our best friends, that you need him to leave my life."_

_ "Sorry, Baby Girl. I can't say that." Nicolas whispered. "But you don't have to choose. _He's_ leaving town."_

_ "You were what?" Lexy whirled back to Alex. "Without talking this over with me? You were going to leave?"_

_ "I wouldn't have left without a proper goodbye." Alex hastily explained. _

_ "So you don't think it's making me choose, if you just force him to be the bad guy, is that it?" Lexy rounded on Nicholas._

_ "Honey, it isn't healthy. The whole thing with the Sunnydale- Pine Ridge guys is not natural, we've always said that." Nicholas said gently._

_ "I know! I was kidding around. You were serious, apparently!" _

_ "Lexy, the baby." Alex cautioned, watching her flush, and the dangerous sparkle come back to her eye. He hadn't seen that flame in a few years. Ever since she fell for Nicholas. It was like someone dimmed the lights, replaced fireworks with candles, Lexy was soft and comforted instead of hard and spoiling for a fight. And Alex was happy. He couldn't wait to find someone who'd give him that same softening, someone who would just let him relax. Someone like Lex- but different, of course._

_ "The baby." She nodded. "Nicholas- I don't want Alex to leave our lives, okay? Especially not with the baby coming. I'm going to have to take it easy, you need Alex here to help you. Plus, he'd be like the baby's uncle, I want him involved. Spike and Joey were some of the best male role models I had growing up, and it was great to have them around besides my dad and Grandpa Giles. The more good people around our child the better." She explained, gently touching her husband's arm. _

_ "No." Wood said one word, painfully and quietly. "No, Lex- I want to be the trusting husband, the sensitive male who's secure and not jealous- but I can't be. You run to him as much as you run to me and I don't like coming in at a tie. I'm supposed to be first."_

_ "I wasn't aware I was a contest." Lexy's voice hardened._

_ "Lex, please-" Alex began, and Lexy turned her head to him._

_ "See? See, you even listen to him in a way you don't listen to me!"_

_ "Maybe because he talks to me like I'm a complete person, not just something that belongs to him!"_

_ "You wanted to belong to me!"_

_ "I still do!"_

_ "GUYS! Stop this!" Alex got between the two as they seemed about to erupt angrily._

_ "You still comin' between me and my wife, you little vamp mofo?" Wood shook his head menacingly, and Alex could see all Faith's trash talking, ass kicking genes coming to the surface._

_ "I was never between you. I was always _behind _you!" Alex spat. "Even if you didn't treat Lexy like I thought you should, if you treated her too much like a wife and not a woman, I didn't say a damn thing, because you make her happy!"_

_ "Not enough though. Not enough, for you, am I? You got a thing for vamps? You wanted his baby, make something special, magic like your mother and sister?" Nicholas addressed this comment to Lexy._

_ Alex didn't have time to grab her arm- not that he would have. Lexy's right hook was almost as strong as his, and two white, bloody teeth skittered across the wooden floor as Lexy implanted her fist in Wood's face. _

_ "Never call me unfaithful again. And never talk about the baby like that." Lexy whispered._

_ "You knocked out two of my teeth!"_

_ "Put them in cold water and go to the ER. They can reattach if you hurry." Lexy said frigidly._

_ "Alexa, Baby Girl-"_

_ "Go now."_

_ "We're not done-"_

_ "We were done two hours ago, when you threw me out. I should have known you weren't going to listen to anything either of us said, should have known you weren't suddenly okay with it. Go." Wood didn't move. "Alex?"_

_ "She said go." Alex urged. Nothing. "Nicholas- you know I will move you on, if you don't move on yourself." _

_ Lexy bent and collected the teeth she had knocked free. "Take a cup from the kitchen on your way out." Alex stepped forward, a silent warning in his eyes. With a hangdog look, the unwilling man left the room._

_ Lexy waited until she heard the front door shut before she smacked Alex full across the face._

_ "Bloody hell." He clasped his cheek and sat down. "What was that for?"_

_ "For caving! For leaving me!"_

_ "I wanted to keep you married to the man you love, is that so terrible?"_

_ "At the cost of us? Damn straight!" She smacked him again, the other cheek._

_ "Lex! Stoppit!"_

_ "That's for not telling me to fight my own battles."_

_ "You were all heartbroken an' sobbin' your eyes out! Plus, preggers! An' I'm actually kinda mad about that, when were you gonna tell me!"_

_ One more slap, much lighter, this time on the back of his head. "This is my turn to be mad, Alex. That one was for not telling me the second you noticed he was treating me like a 'wife' and not a 'woman'."_

_ "I'm not gonna win this." Alex gave up and leaned heavily on the edge of the bed. "Thanks for not usin' anything metal, I guess."_

_ Lexy sat beside him and wrapped her arms around him fiercely, knocking him on to his back in a breathtaking hug. "This is for loving me no matter what and for hurting yourself if you thought it meant not hurting me. I love you."_

_ "I love you, too, Lex." He croaked out. "You comin' home?"_

_ "Yeah. I'm coming home."_

* * *

><p>Three months later...<p>

_ "Daddy left him alive. That's about all I can say." Lexy put the last box of tea on the shelf in the three bedroom condo. "I think knowing there was a judge still in earshot made him restrain himself."_

_ "It's a good thing it was a daylight court date. My dad wasn't as outraged- well- he was- but with his strength, Wood's head would've been hangin' off his neck."_

_ "Yeah. Still. It was nice of all our parents to come out. Be supportive."_

_ "And your mum, with the hacking. A divorce settlement that quick, bloody unheard of."_

_ "Mommy rocks it." Lexy laughed. "What time are they coming back from visiting Hodge and Allison?"_

_ "You told 'em dinner was at seven, so a bit before then. Should I leave the crib for Xander to build? Make him feel like he's back in the buildin' game?"_

_ "I think that'd be nice." She paused. "You know you don't have-"_

_ "You finish that sentence and I will beat your ass, six months pregnant or not. I know I don't have to live with you and the baby, I _want _to live with you and the baby." He paused. "Um. Lex. Can I- would you mind- if we made a branch on the tree for the kid? I mean, can his or her name be on my back too, or d'you think that's wrong, feedin' the rumor mill?"_

_ "Of course we'll make a branch, and duh, it has to go on both of us. We always said it would. Plus, you're going to be the daddy figure since Mr. Wood high tailed it back to New Orleans."_

_ "The daddy figure, huh?" He laughed to himself and came up to put his arm on Lexy's shoulders. "Sleepin' together all those years ago leaves me out of the guilty frame for this sprog."_

_ "Shut up." She elbowed him._

_ "You shut up." He pulled her long red pony tail._

_ "You shut up to infinity!" She turned and gave him a two handed shove on his pecs._

_ "What are you, twelve?" He grabbed her around the neck, digging his fingers in along the sides of her shirt, where she was insanely ticklish._

_ "Stop! Stop, stop, stop!" She squirmed, hysterically laughing._

_ "You are powerless, even your massive cool weapons cannot save you now!" He teased, tickling her unmercifully. _

_ She bumped her head into his chin, jarring his hands, and fighting free. There was a giggling, playful scuffle, three months of tears and lawyers and uneasy patrols melting away. "You're gonna get-" Lexy's chin pointed up at him defiantly, as he glared down at her._

_ Suddenly there wasn't enough air or space in the room. "I- I'm sorry." Lexy backed up._

_ "Why?" Alex whispered, leaning down just a little bit more, inexplicably drawn to her sweet, heart shaped lips._

_ "I- we can't."_

_ "I can't kiss you?"_

_ "No."_

_ " 'Cause you don't want me to?" His eyes roved over hers, puzzled._

_ "No. Because I do want you to." She confessed. _

_ "It's not wrong now. You aren't married. An' we know we never did this when it _was _wrong." He gently placed his mouth to hers, and pressed once, before stepping back._

_ "Things just got complicated." Lexy whined._

_ "Lex- I think things might have been complicated for a couple months now." He whispered, and silently returned to fixing up the nursery._

* * *

><p>One week later...<p>

_ "You are not settin' foot out this door." Alex blocked Lexy's path._

_ "I have to go! We're down a man."_

_ "You are puffed up now, an' you are not riskin' the kid. You stay in. Put your feet up. Do it, Alexa. I _will_ call Tanya or Aunt Will if I have to. I will have 'em teleport in or bind you to the apartment via email or phone, or do somethin' mumbo jumbo-like if you won't listen."_

_ "You swore never to treat me like I was a weak, helpless girly girl."_

_ "I'm not! I'm treating you like you're six months pregnant, now stay inside!" He maneuvered out the door and raced outside. Honestly. You'd think it was a crime to tell women in the family way to look after themselves._

_ Not that you could tell she was in the family way- well, not unless you wanted to. She could be just a bit on the "full side". If it weren't for that telltale radiance. Alex sighed as he gathered his gear. Pregnant women were decidedly the most beautiful things in the world, Alex mused as he hopped on the bike and headed to Hellmouth center city. They were just perfect, with all that glowing skin, and the thick, silky hair, and when one preggo in particular still wore blue acid wash jeans, black cracked leather boots with a slight heel, and ribbed ACDC tank tops showing off her black, spiraling tat on her perfect creamy skin... Oooh, there were whole new meanings when he called her "Red Hot" now. Alex needed to kill something, hard and messily. It was the only way he could refrain from falling at her feet and saying he wanted to take her to bed and maybe never let her get up._

* * *

><p><em> Lexy couldn't sleep. She felt out of her depth and awkward and very alone. The divorce hurt, and it also made her feel oddly relieved. She felt- like her old self. Like Lexy, like one of the fearsome Awful Alexes, like Red Hot, Flame, Firecracker. Alex's pet names for her. They always made her feel alive and powerful. Nicholas's pet name- Baby Girl- made her feel sweet and cherished. But not strong. It was good to be herself again, a woman to be reckoned with, in her own right. With a guy who had always seen her as powerful and talented. Even if she wasn't really <em>with_ him..._

_ The pregnancy made her happy, and the fact that Nicholas wasn't staying in the city and that some day custody agreements were going to be a bitch made her sad. He had said he'd come for the birth- after he'd made her go through the utter humiliation of a prenatal paternity test. Even after it was proved to his satisfaction that he was the father, Alex was going to be her coach. Nicholas had declined the honor, saying he wouldn't be around to attend weekly Lamaze classes with her anyway, couldn't fly up to Cleveland from New Orleans every week._

_ All of it was a strain. Lexy liked her parents-in-law, especially Faith, a lot. She felt like she'd let them down, and worse, that they were listening to Hope and Nick about Alex. It made relationships in general very tense for three fatalistically interwoven families._

_ Being home, that is, with Alex, made her feel both safe and loved, as well as helped her get her fire back, and feel like she was part of the best team in the world again. Alex himself- well, she didn't think he knew how hot he made her. His blonde hair was still bleached, almost long enough to curl, but not quite. He still had the two studs in each ear, and one hoop in each lobe. Some nights all she could think about doing was tugging it with her teeth to see if he was still sensitive there, like he had been their first and only time. He'd muscled up more in the years they hadn't lived together, more time at the gym. He'd also gotten more scarred up, more fights, regardless of whether she was there or not. Who would have thought a dozen or so assorted scars, healing white on ivory would make her wet? _

_ But wet or lusty or even madly in love- which was a possibility, now, finally, after years of being nothing more than "close"- didn't matter. She had a baby inside her and it wasn't his. She was a bloated beach ball and it wasn't his seed doing it. He'd never look at her now. Suddenly, thirty couldn't get here fast enough. If he still wanted to go through with it, or didn't meet someone in the next few years- he was younger than her. "Don't be selfish." Lexy ordered herself. Still, after tossing and turning all night, she decided to go wait in Alex's room and make sure he got home okay. The scent of him on the pillows and sheets soothed her. She decided to close her eyes for a just few minutes._

* * *

><p><em> She was in his bed. There was a god. Alex breathed up a prayer of thanksgiving. She was in an oversized tank top that hung to mid-thigh, showing off the small round bump of her baby belly, and her full, ripe breasts were hanging free, braless. Alex suddenly found himself with a painful problem. How the hell do you get tight leathers off when your cock is totally, unyieldingly rigid and scraping your zip?<em>

_ "Alex?" Lexy heard rustling in the room, and muffled cursing. _

_ "Minute. Oh, damn." He breathed softly, and Lexy watched his pants cascade off. Her mouth went dry and her heart beat picked up. He wasn't wearing anything underneath, giving her a view of well muscled glutes. "Can you close your eyes?"_

_ "Closed." She whispered. _

_ Alex scooted in and under the covers as he stripped off his shirt and socks. He bunched up the sheets over his groin and decided Lexy didn't need to know how much she affected him- yet. "You okay?"_

_ "Yeah. Oh, I couldn't sleep in my room, and I wanted to make sure you got in safe... I fell asleep in here." She leaned in to him and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder in a familiar gesture of welcome. "No biggies tonight?"_

_ "Nothin' we didn't kill." Alex grinned easily._

_ "G-good. I guess I'll go back to my room, let you sleep-"_

_ "I'm not sleepy." Alex said quickly. "Stay. Talk. Tell me your life." He grinned._

_ "My life, huh? Um. It's been a little shitty lately. But it's getting better. It's scary sometimes, but I have this awesome guy in my life. And a baby coming. That's amazing."_

_ "It is. Can I get my baby love in?" Alex asked, waggling his eyebrows._

_ "Yep. You can get your bump fix." Lexy grinned and lay back, and immediately Alex shifted, bringing his arms and head to rest on her torso, hands fondling the bulge adoringly. "Hey in there. Yeah, you. The kicky one. It's your daddy stand in. Give me some sugar, Sparkler." He waited longingly for some kicks and thumps to show him the child he was already in love with was responding to his voice and touch._

_ "Sparkler?"_

_ "Well, if his mummy is Firecracker, the little addition's gotta be Sparkler. Right?" He looked up at her._

_ Which is when she noticed how far off the sheet was. That he was naked underneath it. And that his chin was resting about six inches from her very wet, very aroused womanhood. "Alex?"_

_ "Hmm?" He pretended it was fine. That his body wasn't also getting more and more ready for action, when he had honestly just meant to bond with the baby. He pressed soft kisses all over her stomach, and suddenly decided to push the shirt up, kiss the skin._

_ "ALEX!" Lexy gasped and pushed his hands off when they lifted her shirt. She had forgotten she wasn't wearing undies, she hadn't meant to be out of her own bed for more than a few minutes originally._

_ "Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know, I didn't think, okay?" Alex rocked back, hands up. "Oh bloody hell." He adjusted the sheet which had just let him down quite badly._

_ "Were you- Alex, how could you get like that around me?" She demanded, curiously angry and pleased at once from viewing his obvious attraction to her._

_ "I can't help it! I don't mean to. It isn't my fault you're more beautiful than ever and I appreciate you more than ever, an'- an' that I love you more than ever." He collapsed onto the pillows. "It won't happen again, okay?"_

_ They lay in silence, the only noise the rumble of distant cars and the hum of the air conditioning. _

_ "It's not that I don't like it." Lexy confessed softly after a few seconds._

_ Alex sat back up as if catapulted. "It isn't?"_

_ "No! I- it's mutual. I appreciate you more, I love you more, and you look smoking hot, all the time. But the baby..."_

_ "I understand. I can wait until he or she makes an appearance and you're all healed. If you still want me like that. I mean- not that it'd be just for sex. I meant- I meant, because I - yeah. Well, it's a moot point now, I'm kinda lost about when and how sex works when the woman you love is packin' a bun in the oven." He chuckled._

_ "The woman you love?" She whispered. That was different from just loving her. That was _in love_ with her_

_ "Well- yeah. You."_

_ "You love me?"_

_ "You gone deaf?"_

_ "No! But- you can't love me like that. Romantically."_

_ "I did try havin' this argument with myself quite a lot in the last two months, Firecracker. No dice. Heart has fallen to you, I am love's bitch reborn. I don't know whether Dad'd kill me or jus' laugh."_

_ As much as she wanted to leap at him and say how much she loved him, too, a rocky six months had made her cautious. "You can't, though. I'm carrying someone else's baby."_

_ "I didn't seem to find that on the list of reasons I can't love you. It was a short list. Lemme see, reasons I couldn't fall in love with a girl: If she was in love with someone else- and there was gonna be an argument over that point anyway. I'd try to win her, fight for her. If she was an alcoholic or addicted to somethin' deadly- well, I'd stand by her, wouldn't I? Or if she was a crazy cat lady- I would see if there was some twelve step program before deciding."_

_ "Those were the three reasons? Someone being knocked up didn't even make your list?" Lexy asked incredulously._

_ "Nope. And if it was you- well- I'd take those three reasons an' shove 'em anyway."_

_ "It isn't right." She murmured, involuntarily snuggling down beside him. He rolled to his side and they locked eyes. _

_ "Tell me why."_

_ "It's icky. Won't you think it's icky? I'm all huge and -"_

_ "So fuckin' hot I couldn't get my pants off without hurtin' Steely."_

_ "Steely. You still call him that?"_

_ "Always." He smiled, and brushed a hand over his pet-named organ. "So, erase icky, because you could never be that to me. Next reason."_

_ "It's Nicholas's baby. You hate him."_

_ "It's _your_ baby. I love you. Next."_

_ "Ummm... you've never had sex with a pregnant girl before?"_

_ "I'm willin' to learn. You could be my first, all over again." He wheedled._

_ "I haven't- um- ever when I'm this far along. Obviously. So we can both be firsts again."_

_ "Would you like that? Because I would love it." Alex asked hoarsely._

_ "I would love it, too." She put a hand on his muscular bicep. The arm she touched slowly pulled her to his chest. She lifted one leg over his, pressing them intimately close together, and Alex writhed. _

_ "Can we lose the tank top?"_

_ "Gone." She rolled it up and tossed it. "I'm not seventeen anymore, huh?" She gazed critically at her body, rounder, fuller, breasts with broader, darker nipples and sensitive veins._

_ "You look better to me." He said fervently, and eased slowly over her, kissing, holding, caressing. Natural. Like he should have done this the whole time, not wasted it on the four or five girlfriends he'd had over the years._

_ His touch was sure and soft. He'd been learning. Part of her wished the learning had been completed with her, but she gave herself a pat on the back for getting the ball rolling all those years ago. And they were still learning. "How long for you?"_

_ "You remember that blonde with the glasses? Marissa? When was that?"_

_ "Over a year and half."_

_ "God, that sounds so pathetic."_

_ "No, Al, don't be silly." She nuzzled her lips to his jawline, reassuring in her touch and her speech. "Besides, the last six months don't count, you had me underfoot all the time!"_

_ "You weren't underfoot, you were home. Where you belong." He could feel his heart speeding up, his eyes start to mist. He couldn't give way, not right now. His voice turned playful again. "And you- three to six months, give or take?" He smiled, and let his hand slide over her rounded stomach and between her legs. His hand came back absolutely soaked. "But apparently they were long months."_

_ "Don't tease." She whispered._

_ "Never. Feel how hard I am for you." He led her hand down to his length, palm sweating slightly with eagerness, anticipation, and the fear that she wouldn't know that under the comfortable, playful relaxed conversation they were having, that he was so in love with her, that it was like he was waking up and seeing her for the first time. And that she was all he ever wanted to see again. "Steely missed you. _I _missed you."_

_ "I missed him. I missed _you_." She laughed and pressed him against her thigh._

_ "No rush. I don't have to work today. Take it nice and slow."_

_ "But I'd really like to feel you inside me." Lexy protested._

_ "Can do." Alex gave in eagerly. Then paused. "Uh- uh, lemme-" They adjusted around each other, ending up with him kneeling between her legs, her thighs up high against his. "Sure?"_

_ "Very." _

_ "Me, too. I love you, Lex. I'm sorry for all the crap- but I'm glad I get to tell you. Got to find it out."_

_ "Ditto." She took his hand and squeezed. _

_ Alex slid in and gasped. This felt different, a million times wetter and hotter and - "Shit! Shit, I'll be back."_

_ "Stop." Lexy grabbed his wrist. "Are you still clean?"_

_ "Always. I never- you know, did the deed, without a rubber. Even if she was on the pill." _

_ "I'm clean. I know I am, I was tested at the obstetrician's, they do it as a matter of course."_

_ "And I guess pregnancy isn't too big of a possibility, is it?" Alex laughed. "Another one, that is." He slowly rejoined her body. "This feels amazing! Dear God, no wonder guys hate those things."_

_ "You don't have to wear one anymore. I mean- with me. If this is-" She trailed off, blushing._

_ "This is an us thing." Alex assured. "At least until we're thirty."_

_ "Then what happens?" She was puzzled, her heart stumbled. At thirty they had a deal, why would this end when they could officially begin with a valid excuse?_

_ "Then we get hitched. Unless you wanna do it sooner?" Everything was the same as it had been, and new all at once. He was sure what he wanted, but then again, he wasn't the one with an ex in the wings and a baby inside._

_ "Alex- we can't rush into this. Even if I want to." She forced herself to be at least a little bit sensible for the sake of the two people she loved most, Alex, and her child._

_ "Okay. So, like I said. An us thing. And as for rushing, you are the daredevil, Lex. Speed should have been your middle name. Unlike me." He beamed down on her. "I've got the stamina."_

_ "Prove it."_

_ "I will. I want to stay in your little pussy forever, Lex. You really are my Flame, my Red Hot. I'm gonna burn inside you. What a way to go."_

_ "Flatterer." She moaned softly. He was good. He still stretched her and found the right spots, deep inside her._

_ "Truth. I never could lie to you, Lexy."_

_ "I know. You're my Alex."_

_ "My Alexa. We- we need each other, Lexy. I get it now. We were always gonna be partners. We've always been partners in one way or another. We're a team, always have been."_

_ "But do you want another person on this team?" She put his hand on her belly._

_ "Yes. I do." He caressed her. "What do we say? It isn't the blood, it's the bond? Appearances don't matter?"_

_ "That's what we say."_

_ "We'll prove it."_

_ "I do love you, you know. I'm a little gun shy right now, but not with you. Love you, Alex." Lexy arched into him._

_ "I love you. Don't be worried, Lex. Haven't I always had your back?" He murmured soothingly._

_ "You have. Oh God..." She moaned. "Have all of me. Love of all of me."_

_ "Hell, yes I will." He thrust in deep, but not hard, her wet silk embracing him in a long, sweet spasm. "I love us together, love this. Ah, Lex... I'm in paradise. Feels good to be back."_

_ "Welcome home." She pulled him down, awkwardly though it was, for a kiss._

* * *

><p><strong>Thirty<strong>

_"Get Jason out of the bag before he eats the leather polish!" Alex shouted to his attendants._

_ "Jay-Jay. Go get Daddy." David herded his two and half year old "cousin" back to his father._

_ "Da-a!" Jason shrilled and wobbled eagerly into Alex's outstretched arms. He crowed when picked up and immediately began tugging on the stud in Alex's eyebrow. _

_ "Oh, you little Bugger! Dad! Xan! Can one of you take the boy before he drools on the duds, as well as blinds me?" Alexander bounced the boy, with his tawny skin and hazel eyes, in front of his face. "You are gonna be hell on wheels, baby boy. Hell on wheels. Your grandmums and grandads are gonna have one rough fortnight." _

_ " C'mere, you little tyke." Spike hoisted Jason away from his own son, and helped brush him down. _

_ "It's my turn." Xander, in a crisp white shirt and a laced leather vest, demanded rights to his grandson._

_ "It is not."_

_ "Well- you're gonna outlive me, so it's my turn now." Xander demanded. _

_ "Oh, fine." Spike passed him over with a grunt. "But in about thirty minutes you can't use the 'not legally mine' excuse anymore. 'Cause he'll be my step grandson."_

_ "Dad, please. Just Grandson, and I'm just Dad. At least until Jason gets big enough to understand things or Wood comes up more than once every six months."_

_ The roar of a motorcycle echoed suddenly in the still night. "The bride just got here." Spike smiled and watched his son pale. "You nervous?"_

_ "Nope. Eager."_

_ "Good." He suddenly punched him, hard, on the shoulder. _

_ "Dad!"_

_ "It took you long enough. Don't ever leave it so long again, you got it?"_

_ "I got it."_

_ "I love you, Alex. You've done good. Finally." Spike smirked._

_ "I love you, too, Dad."_

* * *

><p><strong>Forever<strong>

_ "Show us the new design." Buffy, still an ageless early twenty something, stood beside her husband, also locked in time, as they surveyed their son and daughter-in-law, now slightly graying and definitely aging, Lexy more than Alex. Sometimes it caused a deep pain, sometimes it was a warm glow. It didn't matter, because no one wanted to change anything about their lives or the path they had chosen._

_ "We've got the 'tenth' there in the roots, for ten years. An' look, see Jason goes from her to me, and then Violet and Aurora go from me to her."_

_ "Because I gave him Jason, and he gave me the girls. Speaking of which, where are they?"_

_ "With Dawn and Joey."_

_ "Oh. Okay, they probably can handle them."_

_ "Mum. You never told me. Did you an' Dad ever get the tattoos for your thirtieth?"_

_ With a sly smile, Spike and Buffy took off their wedding rings and then laced fingers. When their left hands joined, the word "Forever" was spelled across their ring fingers, "For" on Buffy's, "ever" on Spike's, hidden beneath the bands. "Permanent wedding rings." Buffy whispered with a pleased smile._

_ "Wow. That's so beautiful." Lexy looked at Alex. _

_ "Beyond lovely, Mum. Hey... would you be offended if we copied you?"_

_ "Would we be offended if you declared your unending love and wore permanent wedding bands? No." Spike crossed his arms. 'He gets the stupid from you'. He spoke to his wife through their silent bond. She pouted. 'Sorry, Pet.'_

_ "You can do it on one condition." Buffy said firmly._

_ "Anything." Lexy said eagerly._

_ "Don't wait until your thirtieth. Do it soon." _Don't waste time, Babies. You don't have it to waste._ This was the hardest part. Knowing, unlike her and Spike, that their children and the loves of their children's lives weren't bound together in mystical unity. One spouse would almost certainly go before the other. She intimately knew that pain, and only divine intervention had prevented it from being permanent for her and Spike. The sweetest part of living, being married to your true love, was going to last forty or fifty years for her children, instead of the possible hundreds she and Spike were granted. "Don't put it off." Buffy cleared her throat and held Spike's hand tightly, a smile still etched on her face._

_ Alex looked at his wife, his best friend, his partner in crime. The sharer of his name, his blood, his bed, his children, and his life. And he'd wasted a lot of time not seeing how well they were matched, in every way. No more wasting time. "Mum? Could you keep the kids for another couple hours?"_

_ "Sure."_

_ "We'll be back soon." Lexy slid her fingers through Alex's. "Fancy script?"_

_ "Gothic block." He countered._

_ "Gothic script." She compromised._

_ "Perfect."_

_ "I love you. Forever."_

_ "Forever."_


	31. Chapter 31

Deleted Scenes

by Sweetprincipale

"_Deleted Scenes" is a series of "out takes", or scenes that flow concurrently with "Starting Over", sometimes in the midst of a chapter, or between chapters, wherever they fit best. Some of the scenes are requests from devoted fans and reviewers, some will be scenes I wanted to include, but the piece was already so long! I hope you will enjoy._

_Dedicated to ginar369, alexiarrose, Sirius120, DLillith21, sbyamibakura, omslagspapper, Rosalea12, and TeddyBear-514._

_Direct quotes from shows or songs are obviously not mine, but belong to the enormously talented people who created them._

_**Nothing of Buffy belongs to me, except my sincere admiration. However, this story is all mine. **_

Part XXXI

The year 2122, Pine Ridge, New York

_"Be safe, call when you get there, always keep a stake in your purse-" Buffy spoke insistently to the young blonde woman in front of her. _

_ "An' always use one of your protective charms on your dorm room door, but teach it to recognize your roommate." Spike added. "Luv, you remember when Violet went off to school an' she-"_

_ "Oh, Pops..." Spike and Buffy's great grandchild, hugged them both hard. "Stop. Don't tell any more stories about relatives or I'll never go. I'll just sit here and get all sobby."_

_ "You take after your grandmother." _

_ "And your great grandmother. Wills could be really teary, too. Before she went all uber witch." Buffy smiled a tearful smile as she thought of the best friend no longer with her. All the best friends. All the family. Gone or moving on. _

_ "Looks like you take after your other great grandmother, too." Spike ruffled his great grandchild's hair. His William's granddaughter. His Anna's daughter. And Anna was gone, far, far too young to be gone. William and Tanya were too old to be raising another child when it had happened, so eventually, care of Autumn fell to them. And now she was leaving, off to school. _

_ "Oh, Spike, stop." Buffy wiped at her eyes. _

_ "Nana, don't." Autumn kissed Buffy's cheek. "It's a three hour drive. I'll come home every other weekend."_

_ "No, no. Now you - you have fun. Learn bioengineering or astrochemistry or some big brainy thing. Just remember, always keep a stake in your purse-"_

_ "And do the bloody protective charm-"_

_ "And you'll be fine."_

_ "Okay. I will. I promise, I will." Autumn hugged them both hard and slid into her car with her own teary wave. _

_ Spike and Buffy watched her go, before taking each other's hand in a long practiced, seamless gesture. "She'll be fine, Luv." Spike assured._

_ "I know." _

_But Anna's death made them all shaky. She was the first grandchild, borne out of the first children. She'd been smart, beautiful, powerful, talented- all the best of all her forebears. And she'd been killed when a freight truck skidded on icy roads, into oncoming cars. She had been driving one of them, her husband in the passenger seat, on their way to pick Autumn up from visiting her aunts and uncles. For two immortals, who'd already lost a number of their nearest and dearest, who'd already witnessed thousands of young women dying- Anna's death shook them in ways they didn't recognize. But they had been blessed by the ability to not just play an unusually active role in being grandparents and great grandparents, they'd been able to step back up, and be parents again. Autumn was a gift for what most people would consider their autumn years, the years of great grandchildren and empty homes- only Buffy and Spike would find it almost impossible to leave the summer of youth._

_ The couple, frozen in their twenties, walked arm and arm into the house. The house that had once been the center of so much, that had been connected to Willow and Xander's home, which had passed to Tanya and William, and then they'd given it to Anna and her husband, and someday it would go to Autumn. For now it stood vacant. Giles and Vance's house had passed to Dawn and Joey, and from them to their eldest, their David, and David's family lived there still._

* * *

><p><em> "It's so quiet." Buffy murmured, sitting at their dining room table.<em>

_ Spike ignored the rush of traffic outside the development. He knew what she meant. This life had suddenly become very quiet. There was family up the block, and someday there would be family next door again, as well. But for now, it was just the two of them. _

_ Because of him. He'd claimed her. So he'd have someone, never be alone-_

_ "So _we'd _never be alone." Buffy reminded him pointedly. She could hear his thoughts with no effort now, after this many years of being claimed and married. "Don't you do this. You always do this after every funeral, after every big family change." She gave him a look with a single shake of her head. A look she'd used often, the mildly annoyed, very patient look a wife gives her husband when she catches him in his single most irritating habit that she's long since learned to live with. "We'll never be alone. We'll always be together. And I know they're up there somewhere, waiting for us." _

_ They took turns, had had many chances to take the brunt of it, to be one another's strength. Like well-oiled dancers making tricky connections and passes across the floor, she caught him in his grief this time. "They're all waiting for us up there, Sweetheart, just have to keep fighting the good fight." She put her arm around his waist as he leaned against her, standing as she sat._

_ "I know. But your sadness- it's the one part of this deal I hate." He murmured in quiet vehemence. "Wish I hadn't lost the gift to make you happy always, that the world wouldn't come in an' wipe the smile off your face when we fought so hard to make it worth living in, gave so much of ourselves and of our own." He sighed deeply. "Always wonder on nights like this if it was unfair to claim you, keep you alive for this long."_

_ Her tone was sharp and completely discordant with dreamy look and far away voice he had given into. "Spike Summers, you need to be quiet, right now. Don't ever regret not letting me go, letting me age and die and do the normal human time table. I don't think it's possible to die in heaven, but without you- well, I've broken all the other records before." She stood up and rested her chin pointing up on his chest, eyes locked. Still such mutually ensnaring eyes, after all this time. "I can't live without you, die without you, exist without you." She insisted softly._

_ He was forced to chuckle, even though inside his heart was filling, trying to burst itself. "That about sums it up. Honestly Slayer-" She looked surprised, then smiled. He hardly ever called her that anymore. She was still so beautiful when she smiled, "No regrets?"_

_ She shook her head with slow deliberation, rock solid in her answer. "No, none." Then, a ghost of doubt crossed her face and she said in an uncertain tone, "Well, one teeny tiny little one."_

_ He was instantly grave and serious "What is it, Beloved?"_

_She smirked, unable to contain it. "In all this time- we never did buy that waterbed."_

_ Spike laughed and dug into his pocket. He held up his car keys. "I'll drive."_

_ She yelped, "Seriously? Right _now_?"_

_ "Absolutely. Hundred and twentieth wedding anniversary present- few months early." He winked._

_ With a girlish squeal, that somehow still seemed appropriate on her, Buffy grabbed her purse. Spike gallantly held open the door for her and they trotted out to the shed in back of the house. _

_ They got into the Jeep- one of many they'd gone through in their life together, always a black one. It was not the car they usually used, but it was right for the night. This one was a 2030 model, now considered quite an antique, but it was still their "date night car", highly polished, much pointed at and admired. _

_ "She still purrs like a kitten." Spike said affectionately, patting the dashboard as the car puttered to life. "Like someone else I know." He tossed his love a saucy wink._

_ "I hope I sound better than this." Buffy giggled as he backed out into the little side path connecting the back of the house to the street._

_ "Oh, you do." He squeezed her knee. "Music to my ears." _

_ They rode along like giggling teens for a few minutes, then contained themselves. Must look respectable in public. After all, to some people, depending on the flexible glamour Willow had long ago cast, Spike and Buffy looked like the much respected and venerated Mr. and Mrs. William Summers Senior- and pretty darn ancient to boot._

_ "Alright then." Spike hit the steering wheel lightly and turned to her as they pulled into a spot at the mall parking lot. "A long, _long_ marriage," he said with a sudden teasing twinkle, "three kids, a handful of grandkids, a dozen great grandkids, a thousand arguments-"_

_ "Ten thousand nights of passion." She chimed in with a twinkle of her own._

_ "Mm, gonna make it ten thousand an' one when we get home."_

_ "Counting on it."_

_ "And after we procure this long awaited water bed- bloody hell, we should've cleared out the guest room first!" He realized suddenly._

_ "I know. But that's you, impulsive. I love it. And easily distracted, that's you, too. Come on, what were you saying?"_

_ He took a deep, unnecessary breath, "Right. After we get this bed, then-no regrets?"_

_ Her mind rewound days, years, decades together, fights, lovemaking, spending time alone, spending time as a family. Her eyes had a different sort of sparkle as she smiled at him and answered. _

_ "None."_


	32. Chapter 32

**Deleted Scenes **

**by Sweetprincipale**

_**Ourselves, in Ten Words or less.**_

_Spike_

_My soul has a name, my heart a face- Buffy. _

_Buffy_

_Wife, mother, lover, sister, friend- Slayer. Chosen, but not alone._

_Giles_

_Forever Watchful, I am Change. Break rules- stuff the stuffy. _

_Willow_

_Hang on, I'll look it up._

_Xander_

"_You don't have to have superpowers to be super, Daddy."_

_Dawn_

_I'm me. In my own right. In no one's shadow._

_Vance_

_True love came late- well worth the wait._

_Joey _

_Normal man in abnormal life, for her. I love it._

_William_

_Got my family, my mates. Got my girl. I'm good._

_Tanya_

_Power isn't scary- if love holds you steady._

_SJ_

_I belong nowhere. But with Max, I belong everywhere._

_Lexy_

_Stop shouting- I'll fix it._

_Alex_

_Give me a weapon! No, I don't care, whatever's handy._

Jim

Living the reality is always better than the dream.

Essie.

Wife, mother, friend, lover. Oh, yeah. Actress, too.

Sul

No drinking during rehearsal! (But hugs are okay.)

Lizzie

I'm too busy being cute to be famous.

Max

Sometimes you're part of something huge, just being ordinary.

_Thank you for getting to know us. Remember us fondly._


End file.
